Friday 29 August 2008

Housewife Ambitions

For nearly a year now i have entertained a fantasy/ambition of becoming my Owners housewife. i say this for a number of reasons. Firstly, the world of work does not interest me, by this i do not mean that i am lazy (well ok a little!) but rather than i find the routine stifflingly dull and unrewarding. i have many and varied interests in life, some of which take-up a considerable amount of time but none of which is actually 'work' in the paid sense. The downside of these interests though is that i often find that the domestic duties that i should and need to organise, things like cooking, cleaning etc can interfere with and reduce the amount of time i spend with my Owner just the two of us enjoying each others company. i reason that if i had more time during the day by staying at home i could not only get these tasks properly completed and organised ready for when Owner returns home, but that i would also start to keep a much tidier flat as a consequence. i would also have more time to devote to the care of my Owner, and could even learn some new skills via day classes.

As you can tell from my profile picture i also like to wear women's clothing, something that my Owner encourages...infact the sluttier the better! i'll post more about this another time. The point here though is that for work i have to slip back into the clothes that society expects someone of my gender to wear at work - or at least they do in my job. i've wrested before with whether to describe myself as a TV. i'm still not convinced i am. Although i wear women's clothes and make-up i've never gone so far as to try to pass myself off as a woman. For example, although i like to keep myself mostly clean shaven, i don't shave my arms (though i do under my arms). i don't wear a wig or have a woman's hairstyle either. i also know that Owner prefers her pet to look feminised but not so feminised as to actually look like a woman. i sometimes wonder whether it is the views that i know Owner has that has stopped me taking my feminisation further. i did start to 'shape and pluck' my eyebrows about 8 months ago but Owner didn't seem to approve and so i desisted. Part of me is intrigued by the idea of taking my own feminisation further but i would never do so unless such a development were to be approved of and sanctioned by Owner - which i suspect is not that likely.

But i digress! This was supposed to be about why i aspire to be a housewife. Well the above is related because were i to be able to adopt such a role then concerns about what to wear 'at work' would no longer apply. i would be free to wear the clothes and outfits that i feel most comfortable and most myself in and which Owner either buys for me or gives me permission to purchase for myself.

i also feel strangely that, career-wise, i have achieved all that i set out to do back many years ago when i started. i can't see any way that i will progress further and am terrified of the prospect of just doing the same old thing for another 30ish years! God how dull! Owner, in contrast, continues to develop and grow in her job and with her skills. She often underates just how much talent she packs, but i feel sure that great opportunities still lie ahead of her should she wish to pursue them. Whereas, for me, work-wise i feel my own best is now behind me. i'm comfortable with this thought but not with the idea of still doing the same old thing. At home though i could develop further my own skills and interest in cooking, gardening, home care etc. i know this is a selfish thought and some might argue that i should be the one doing all the work and supporting my Owner, enabling her to have more free time to relax and enjoy life. i would love this too as time apart from her is horrible. But i know she also enjoys some (at least) aspects of her work. Freelance would be maybe be ideal.

Unfortunately, though the economics of one of us not working or earning something do not stack-up. So being a housewife will just have to remain a dream, albeit a pleasant, wistful one.

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