It is 4 years today since Owner and i first met and i can honestly say that if you had told me 4 years and 1 day ago that i would meet a woman with whom i would not only fall madly in love with but who would later become my Owner as well as my best friend and companion and with whom i would go on to share the best times of my life i probably would not have believed you. But yes, having chatted for a while over the net our first meeting proved to be the start of a wonderful and fantastic journey and adventure full of fun, frivolity and love...oh and of course with a growing Femdom relationship evolving along the way. We didn't meet as people interested in finding that sort of relationship, rather as two souls seeking friendship and companionship after coming out of divorces. But something special developed between us and now we live happily together with me submitting to the most wonderful woman in the world. i truly am blessed.

Oh, and we still have plenty of fun together too. Last night, as we do every year, we returned to the restaurant where we first had a meal together. This year i had a particular challenge to fulfill which was to spend the evening wearing fake nails (as well as my usual make-up and collar, dog chain and 'slave' bell) see picture below;

i was extremely self-concious at first, trying to hide my hands on the tube and then trying to quickly pay for some items in a shop hoping the assistant wouldn't notice my nails (which of course she did) - forgetting of course that she probably had already clocked my collar and make-up, the nails just been an additional 'interesting' detail!

The nails themselves were quite strange to wear, they made rolling cigarettes or operating a cashpoint machine quite a challenge, though happily i survived the evening and had a wonderful meal to boot with Owner.

Talking of cigarettes, Owner and i have both vowed to try to give them up starting tomorrow. We're armed with patches and gum so hopefully this time we'll both succeed. We joked last night that it would be easier if we were both subs instead of just me. That way we could have got one of us to tie the other up and keep them locked up until the cravings had gone, then return the favour to the other. However, as there is just one of us who is a submissive then no such luck. Oh well, hopefully this time next year we'll be celebrating not just another year together but a year without fags.

Oh, and one final thing, and the reason we didn't try to stop smoking until tomorrow. Today was the final match of the season for Owners home town football team. The match was even more stressing than last week's, at half time they were losing and were just 45 minutes away from relegation to the Spanish 2nd division. But after much despair on Owners part they ended up winning! Puxa Sporting!
Owner and i had a lovely day today. We went into Camden and had lunch together before hitting the market and shops. Owner allowed me to buy a new top from Punkyfish, it's a little sleeveless summer number. Afterwards we went for a walk along the canal from Camden to Paddington before returning home.

After all that walking i gave Owner a foot bath and scrub followed by a massage. However, this was not to just ease Owners aching feet after all that walking, it was also to try and relax Her a little before the evenings big game. Yes, Owner follows the football team from her home town and tonight was to be a crucial match, relegation or to stay up in the Spanish Premier division. As She settled down anxiously in front of the laptop to listen to the game i set about cleaning the bathroom and trying to be useful.

It was high tension as first Owners team scored (much joy and excitement), then the other team scored (despair and despondency)...but then Owners team scored again and after a few very tense minutes in which they nearly let in a goal the match concluded. i don't follow football but Owner has become quite an avid follower of Her home town team. i'm pleased for Her that they won, if only to allow Her to relax until next weekend when the last game of the season is played and She will finally get to know if they are to remain in the Premier division in Spain or get relegated. i hope they stay up! Puxa Sporting!
One of the things that i enjoy the most is being used by my Owner as Her personal sex toy. After i had prepared our dinner last night and finished the washing up Owner led me into the bedroom, instructed me to lie face down and then warmed my backside with a spanking. She then proceeded to finger fuck my 'pussy' before inserting the inflatable butt plug and pumping it up. Owner then lifted my waist so that she could press her crotch against the base of the plug and began to grind Herself against me, turning the vibrator of the plug on as She did and using me to masturbate Herself against.

Needless to say the action caused me to be milked whilst Owner rode me to Her own orgasm. After licking up my mess we snuggled up together in bed again. It is wonderful to be useful!

Then this morning, after preparing Owners breakfast, we again returned to bed. This time Owner had me on all fours on the bed, nipples clamped and having me finger-fuck my own pussy whilst She rested Her feet on my back and pleasured Herself with Her vibrator. Once again the pleasure i derive from assisting my Owner achieve her own satisfaction is wonderful.
What a wonderful weekend Owner and i have had. The weather has been lousy for the time of year, wet and very windy and so neither of us has really ventured outside the flat. Instead, Saturday found me in the kitchen making stews and baking biscottis and bread sticks for Owner. It is a while since i have done any baking and it was great to be able to get back doing something i love and which Owner enjoys consuming.

In the afternoon Owner had me tied down to the bed, nipples and testicles clamped and flogged before She sat astride me and had me orally pleasure Her whilst she pulled hard on the chain attached to me nipple clamps. It was a wonderful treat to be able to pleasure Owner this way. But the treats were not over for the day. In the evening i was allowed to watch the Eurovision Song Contest with Owner. This is an annual treat for me - how sad i am!

Today the weather was no better than yesterday. After a long lie-in together Owner advised me that it was time for my weekly caning. She began by spanking and flogging me whilst i lay prostrate across the bed before administering a sound caning. You can see the results of Owners handiwork below;
Caning over Owner then positioned me on the bed with my ankles up around Her head in Her Mistress sling before fucking me hard with Her strapon. It is a wonderful position to be taken by Owner in as i can watch Her face and see the pleasure in Her eyes as She satisfies Herself. As usual i was in chastity but to be honest i derive more pleasure from my Owners pleasure than i ever did from my own. We lay side by side for a while, me deeply aroused, before Owner allowed me to masturbate Her and taste Her with my fingers. It was simply divine and again left me horny and wonderfully aroused.

We then talked about our relationship and how happy we both our. i told Owner how i had never been happier in my life and how i would love to be able to come still further under Her control. Owner said that She enjoyed the fact that we both live together within a constant D/s reality. The extent varies depending on what we are doing and where we are but it is a constant with our lives. Owner enjoys the fact that i have my little routines of service and submission and that these have become just an everyday part of our lives. There is no getting into or coming out of role for us, it is a constant within our relationship. Owner also said how much She enjoys using Her strapon on me, which i adore to....being quite the little slut i am!

Owner also said She is happy with me as a transvestite. i was quite surprised at my reaction when Owner said this because i still don't refer to myself as a transvestite, which is stupid as i so clearly am one. i am happy being a dressed up and looking pretty and going out in make-up and women's clothes, though so far this has never extended to me wearing skirts when we go out (something i always do at home). It is profoundly reassuring to hear Owner say that She was happy with me being a transvestite and hearing Her say that makes me feel confident and comfortable to use the term myself in future. Owner also knows that this is an area in which, should She wish to, She could push me further and have me further feminised.

When eventually we did get up Owner switched on the internet to listen to football whilst i dusted and hoovered in the flat. i've said to Owner in the past that i'd love to be Her housewife, but i gues in many ways that is already what i am. i'm Owners little transvestite slut who is at his happiest cooking, cleaning and pleasuring his Owner and striving to become a better submissive for Her. In short, i am living the dream with a wonderful lover, partner, best friend and Owner and it is fantastic!
It's Friday afternoon and the weekend has started. Owner and i have a whole 48 hours ahead of us to enjoy, have fun, be silly and live our lives as we love to without the inconvenience of work etc. Of course, i will be 'working' though i never regard the duties that i undertake for Owner as being 'work'. Cooking, cleaning and other domestic 'chores' (as i would once have regarded them) have come to be not only routine but enjoyable activities that i love to undertake in the service of my Owner. It is now at the point where i do not just feel guilty if i know some domestic duty i'm supposed to have completed has not been done, i actually miss the activity itself. My mother would be amazed! Of course, it is not that i find cleaning per se to be enjoyable! Rather it is the knowledge that these are things i am expected and desire to do in the service to my Owner turns a previously mundane activity into an enjoyable one. These activities have become an integral part of our relationship and of my submission to Owner. Thus, what were once 'chores' have actually become a celebration of my love for and devotion to my Owner. Some people travel thousands of miles on a pilgrimage in an act of devotion to their god, i hoover the flat in devotion to my Goddess!

Of course, there is though one important difference (i assume?). Namely, i don't imagine that many pilgrims get a sexual kick out of their efforts, whereas i do.

But i digress. As i was saying, the weekend is upon us and that means time spent with Owner and time spent with Her is the best time there is. All week i can feel the prospect of the weekend building inside me. i yearn for it to be here, spend my time wishing it were here. We do of course see each other all the time during the week, but work always gets in the way. We are forced apart during the day and have little time to enjoy just being us. But the weekend is different. It is Owners time to dictate the pace and agenda of the day, it is our time for fun and play. And the closer it gets the more excited i become and the hornier i get. By Friday i am moist with anticipation, fantasising constantly at the thought of being fucked by and pleasuring Owner.

It is a delicious time, a day of intense burning desire, of being unable to concentrate as the memory of the crop and cane, knickers pulled down, of nipples flushed sore and hot, face down, legs spread, breathing slowly...deeply, of strange discordant noises, Her hands on my hips, nails sunk in flesh, Her voice calling to me 'my slut, my slut', clenching and unclenching around Her, the motor pulsating through me, deeper, deeper a final gasp.... spent beside me She lies whilst i wrap my tongue around Her, sucking hard whilst my 'pussy' blinks its silent o around the memory of Her inside me, like a child i return to Her breast, Her fingers in my hair, we lie.

Of these i dream throughout the day as the Friday hunger builds inside me.
When we had our new kitchen fitted at the start of the year i kept hold of some of the wooden shelves from the old one thinking i was sure i could use them for something. Anyway, after a few months inspiration struck and one day Owner came home to find me outside in the garden sawing and drilling. With great delight i proudly announced that i was attempting to make my first piece of dungeon equipment. Basically, it consists of a couple of old shelves, some shelf supports and lots of little eye-bolts and spikes etc.

Yep, i was creating my own cock-torture device! Owner seemed pleased that i was trying to be creative and didn't dissuade me in my work, infact she seemed quite keen to try the device out. Well yesterday we finally got a chance. i was due a penis caning as a punishment for an earlier transgression and it seemed the perfect opportunity. My chastity device was removed and i was locked into the new 'machine'. i had attached bolts and cuffs to lock my ankles in place and was then able to lock my collar to the top of the device and my wrists to the sides with only my unprotected privates poking through. Owner then clamped my nipples in place before proceeding to cane and spank me.

The Danger Zone!

The 'machine' worked well although needs a minor adjustment. At present it is a little unbalanced at the back i.e. could tip backwards and so needs a stabiliser adding, but apart from that has proved to be a constructive recycling of unused shelving! After caning my cock repeatedly Owner even allowed me to come, a rare and wonderful treat.
A few months ago i was declared the winner of the 'Burlesque' competition on the Forced Feminisation group run by Mistress 160 on One of the 3 judges was Miss Bonnie who runs Collar N and she kindly sent me a beautiful basque as a prize. i agreed, with prompting from my Owner, that i should wear the basque at some prominent London landmarks, namely;

1) Nelsons Column
2) Tower Bridge
3) St Mary's Axe (aka 'the gherkin')

Anyway, finally after months of not being able to do anything at weekends apart from decorating, Owner and i got a chance to go out and about in town today. As a result, i was able to complete my basque wearing challenge. See photos below;

In front of Nelson's Column

Tower Bridge

St Mary's Axe

Thank you to Mistress 160, Miss Bonnie and of course my wonderful Owner and accomplice!
With the building and decorating works in the flat now completed Owner has graciously allowed me to re-start my probationary pet period. This is a 6-week trial to decide whether or not i will be granted the right to be referred to as Owners 'pet' as opposed to 'trainee pet'. For the duration of the probationary period Owner has outlined a number of additional tasks, duties and areas of learning that i am to incorporate into my existing daily and weekly routines. This will be followed by a formal evaluation at the end of the 6 week period to see if i am allowed to regain the status of 'pet' - lost last August (and rightly so) or not. Owner has set out the following agreement which i signed yesterday;

"I ....., trainee pet, commit myself to the role of ‘pet on probation’ for a period of 6 weeks. In these 6 weeks I promise to complete the following tasks to the best of my abilities:

- To wear my Probationary Pet badge

- To finish off the kitchen - To complete a ‘fake nails’ challenge
- To re-start my Spanish lessons – I must schedule 1 lesson per week. If during a week I can not complete a lesson I must re-schedule 2 lessons for the following week

- To treat Owner to a pedicure every two weeks and a foot massag
e at least 3 times a week
- To have a PowerPoint lesson – I must schedule this lesson and create a little project at the end

- No to drink any coffee in the evenings during the week. On weekend evenings I must ask for permission

- To keep my paperwork organised in a folder. Any printed instructions for events/games must also be archived

- To request a caning at least once a week

- To think of imaginative ways to use the queening stool during play, produce a list and submit it to my Owner for approval

- To re-start daily/weekly cleaning routine

- To keep the flat very tidy

- To stop smoking on the 1st of June 2009

- To complete all punishments accrued before the re-start of the probationary period

- Not to accumulate more than 3 punishment from the moment the probationary period re-starts

If I fail to complete any of these tasks or my behaviour is not of the standards expected I will revert to my position of ‘trainee pet’ and my role will not be reviewed until December 2009. If I complete these tasks to my Owner’s satisfaction I will be offered a new contract and my status will change to ‘pet’.
Signature: Date:"

As you can see Owner has been very fair and charitable with what she is expecting and it is now down to me to ensure that i meet her expectations.

Meanwhile, now that we have our lounge completely re-decorated and with new furniture i have asked Owner if she would agree that as her 'pet' - probationary or otherwise - it would be inappropriate for me to be able to make use of the new furniture but that rather it should be reserved exclusively for Her use. Owner has kindly agreed. Instead, i am, from now onwards, only allowed to sit on the 'dog mat' which we purchased from Ikea to go in front of the fire, though as i hope you'll agree from the photo it is a very fine mat!