Owner and i have just returned from a lovely weekend in Cologne. It was a little break we both needed and greatly enjoyed as work has been quite stressful for us both of late for differing reasons and it was lovely to get away. i was also super lucky in that Owner permitted me to have a couple of drinks at Heathrow before the flight and then have some more on the Saturday in Cologne (although She had me back on soft drinks on the Sunday).

Neither of us have been to Cologne before, although we both really like Germany and have visited a number of other German cities in the past. Cologne did not disappoint and we had a very relaxing couple of days walking, sightseeing, drinking and sausage eating (me).
sunset over Cologne
As usual for the flight out and back i swapped out of my metal nano chastity device into the plastic Holy Trainer before clearing security. After that i swapped back into the metal device. On the return journey i discovered that Cologne has installed one of those full body scanners that you have to stand in front with your legs spread and your arms apart whilst it scans you for anything untoward. As i waited in line i wondered whether it would detect the plastic Holy Trainer device? i knew that 'normal' scanners do not but might this one? Owner went through first and then it was my turn. i stood and waited with my legs spread and was duly scanned. The result?....nothing. So far my chastity and airport security luck has held out and i have not yet been 'detected'. However, i am resigned to the inevitability that one day i will be and as we fly quite regularly that day could be next month or in a few years, who knows.

Anyway, on returning from Germany i was able to work a few days from home. That, of course, meant dice challenges. Yesterday was an indoor challenge and the dice determined that i should wear weighted nipple clamps for 15 minutes. Owner remarked a few months ago that my nipples have become less tolerant of pain and so i am trying to increase my pain thresholds by punishing them quite hard whenever i have to wear weighted nipple clamps. This time i loaded each nipple with 12oz (340g) of weights. To be able to suspend that weight for a full 15 minutes without sliding off requires the use of clamps with teeth that can hold on tight to your flesh rather than padded clamps which tend to slide off. i used the table cloth weights again as they have a serrated plastic grip that holds quite firm and 'bites'.
nipples under heavy tension
24 hours later and my nipples are still nice and sensitive from their ordeal. However, it is also an effective way of increasing my pain tolerance, which is what is needed. Incidentally, i also have a bit of a 'thing' about stretching my nipples, I'd love to have really big ones. But that is a whole other story.

Today's dice challenge was of a different order completely. Today i had to complete an outdoor challenge. The dice determined that i had to go outside and take a picture of my knickers on my head. i was wearing one of my new Victoria's Secret panties. Here i am in our street at 8.50am hoping that one of our neighbours doesn't suddenly appear and wonder what on earth i am doing!
down our street, panties on head and...ooh look, a chastity cage!
This Friday will see a little milestone for Owner and i in that it will have been 14 years exactly since we first ever met in person. We still re-visit the same restaurant we went to each year. It would take us another six months or so to properly 'get together' and about another 6-12 months after that before we started to tentatively explore developing a Female-led relationship. Since then we have continued to go from strength to strength despite occasional health issues and the odd setback along the way. We are still each others best friend and i love Her with all of my heart - i would, quite literally, follow Her anywhere or do anything for Her.

Talking of dates, this coming Saturday will also, barring anything unexpected, see me reach the half-way point of 2019 without having had a single orgasm. i have also been locked 24/7 in chastity for all except about a fortnight of that time. However, even for those brief periods when i am released know better than to try and pleasure myself. Being kept in denial like this is a wonderful and frustrating experience. i regularly feel very horny and am easily aroused and will often absent-mindedly caress my nipples. Part of me would love to be allowed to orgasm, both for the transitory pleasure of cumming itself but also for the opportunity to taste cum again - it's a taste i quite like and Owner used to feed it to me or make me lick it up after i ejaculated. However, another part of me wants to be kept like this, in a state of frustrated denial. That is an increasingly powerful yearning and one i never could have imagined ever wanting when Owner and i first started dating. The longer i am kept like this the stronger it builds. i know that in the past few years the breaking of a prolonged orgasm drought was always accompanied by a feeling of disappointment mixed in with the pleasure of the orgasm itself. Disappointment that i had actually cum and with that the attendant loss of that all consuming, frustrated arousal that had accompanied the period of denial and built steadily during it.

Increasingly i find that my desire to be kept denied is stronger than that of being permitted to cum. Of course i still love to be aroused, still yearn to have my testicles beaten and abused to the point where i can feel i am close to tipping over the edge to orgasm (these past few years i have only been permitted to orgasm from testicle spanking, paddling, slapping, flogging etc - my 'clit has not been permitted inside Owner for almost a decade) but now i don't actually want to cum. i want to be remain denied, frustrated. None of this is my decision to make of course, it is Owners and Hers alone. But i do love my prolonged state of frustrated denial, i love the fact that so far this year i have experienced the grand total of zero orgasms. Call me weird but i am hugely grateful to Her for having kept me this way. These days the only thing i find i miss about not having an orgasm is the taste of cum.
My 48 hours of being unlocked and out of chastity is drawing to a close and i will soon be locked back into chastity once again until at least the 11th June when the chastity dice will be rolled again. It has been enjoyable being briefly let out and Owner used the opportunity to occasionally poke and prod my little squishy clitty and even to decorate if with a flower (see below) but that has been as far as things went. My clit was otherwise ignored and will be locked back up in a few hours time, leaving me to continue to wait and wonder when, or whether, i might be permitted to orgasm this year. It has now been almost six months at least since i last came. Denial, whether locked or not, has become the new normal for me and i confess to rather liking being kept this way.

my clitty enjoying the last of its second day unlocked
clit in bloom
My poor titties really are being made to suffer this week, although as a consequence they are wonderfully sensitive to the touch at the moment. i worked from home on Monday and then again today (Wednesday) and each day Owner's dice determined that i endure a different type of breast torture. On Monday it resulted in me again being required to attached 10 min-pegs to each nipple/breast and keep them on for 20 minutes before removing. Then today i was required to attach weighted clamps to my nipples and wear these for fifteen minutes before removing them.



In case you are wondering what the clamps are that the weights are suspended from these are weighted plastic table cloth weights that have quite teeth grip so they are able to hang onto the flesh of my nipples quite well even when additional weights are suspended from them. You can see how my nipples were stretched by the weights hanging from them.

My nipples have been regularly abused over the years and one of the by-products of this is that over time they have become bigger. Both have been pierced and when i used to wear rings in each (unlike today when i only wear a ring in my right one) we experimented a bit with me wearing a weighted chain suspended between each nipple ring - so that they were kept under permanent tension. Unfortunately, it eventually caused a problem with one of my piercings and so we had to abandon the idea. On the plus side though the legacy of piercing and abuse means that both nipples are super sensitive and easily aroused, something i am sure that my chastised state also adds to. It is easy to make them hard and aroused and i adore Owner teasing and caressing them, She in-turn loves to torment them. i would actually love to have my nipples permanently stretched and enlarged but that is another story!

Incidentally, the other day Owner mentioned that She was thinking about having my right breast tattooed as well. She had my left breast tattoed shortly after we got married last year (it has the date of our wedding in Roman numerals and the word 'Uxor', meaning wife in Latin inked around it). She is thinking of something similar for my right breast. i am really excited at the prospect.
After giving Owner a foot and back massage this afternoon it was time to roll the monthly chastity dice to see whether i would remain locked for another month or would be temporarily released. Well, the outcome was.......(drumroll)... i am to remain locked until next weekend when i will be released for two days then locked back up until at least the 11th June.

Owner was quick to point out the next weekend is Eurovision song contest weekend (always a high point in my year) and teased me that maybe my unlocked clitty could be decorated with some Eurovision flags? Could be an interesting weekend :)
Owner and i spent an enjoyable week in Spain staying with Her family. We visit quite frequently, normally at least two or three times a year but i realise that, in all the years of going, this was the first time i had been in chastity whilst visiting. Surprising perhaps as i have been in and out of chastity for the best part of twelve years or so now.

i also don't wear make-up or any of my more obvious femme clothing whilst i am there (it's about the only time i don't), though my knickers are always pretty and feminine ones. In the past this has led to some 'near misses' with Owner's mum, who has a habit of walking into the bedroom we stay in unannounced. The bedroom door cannot be locked and on more than one occasion i have almost been found out whilst getting dressed or undressed. However, the worst that could have happened would have been that she would find me in a pair of pretty panties. This time, however, i was locked in chastity as well which added an extra frisson of tension as i got dressed and undressed each day!

Incidentally, i am now well into my fifth month without having any form of orgasm and i have spent all but one week of those months locked up. Tomorrow, the 11th, will witness the monthly rolling of the chastity dice once more which in turn will determine whether or not i might be released temporarily from chastity or remain locked for at least another month more. i confess i am enjoying my extended period without orgasm as it means i am regularly to be found in a state of delicious frustrated arousal. Not everyone's cup of tea perhaps but it is mine.

Anyway, back to Spain. Unfortunately, Owner picked up a really nasty cold whilst we were there which in turn then morphed into something even more unpleasant when we returned. As a result i spent the end of this week being 'nurse' at home, albeit sadly without the uniform to go with it :). On the plus side this meant i worked from home which in turn meant having to complete a challenge each day. Yesterday's challenge was an outdoor one, to apply lipstick whilst stood by the bus stop. Todays' was an indoor one which required me to clamp my nipples, attach 20 mini-pegs to my chastised 'clitty' and then spank it 50 times.

You can see how i got on with each below;

Nipples clamped and 'clitty' with pegs attached
Administering 50 spanks to my clitty with a wooden spoon

Did you notice my super bright nails in the video? The pharmacist did when i was buying medication for Owner :)

Whilst Owner and i were away the tokens that She ordered in order to start the 'Rewards Scheme' She has devised (see previous post) were delivered. The scheme will officially start on Monday so i now have an extra thing to get excited about along with the penultimate episode of Game of Thrones!