This coming Monday the 23rd of December will mark one whole year that i have been kept orgasm free by Owner. My year in denial - 365 days without cumming. Although much of that time has seen me locked in chastity this has not always been the case and there have been days or even the odd week when i have been 'set-free'. However, at such times i have been good and have refrained from touching myself and so i can truthfully say that 2019 will have been my first year spent without cumming since my early teens, i.e. decades ago!

The experience has been quite an intense one at times. i am semi-permanently horny but also anxious to remain denied for longer still. Whether this happens or not is of course down to Owner and She has already set me a good test of my self-control. When we rolled the chastity dice on the 11th of this month to see whether i should be released or remain locked the dice stated that i should stay locked without release for another month. However, Owner over-ruled it (and it is Her dice after all - She determined what each face of the dice says) and advised that on the 23rd of December, my one year of denial anniversary, i am to unlock myself and stay unlocked at least until the New Year. i am sure i will continue to be good and refrain from touching myself. Whether or not Owner has any plans to bring my period of denial to an end i don't know. i would like it to continue and perhaps even be kept this way indefinitely, existing sexually solely to bring Owner pleasure whilst remaining denied from achieving an orgasm of my own. But that will be Onwers' choice, not my own.

So, why is it me unlocking myself on Monday and not Owner? This is where the 'sadness' reference in the blog post title comes into play. Owner and i, as sadly is all too often the case at this time of year, will be apart over Christmas. Tomorrow She returns to Spain to stay with Her family and shortly afterwards i will be heading down to the South Coast to spend Christmas with mine. However, the good news is that i will be travelling out to Spain to join Owner with Her family just after Christmas and will be there, with Her, for the New Year before we both return back to the UK. We both hate being parted like this and are hoping that next Christmas we will be able to spend it together before the Christmas family rotations begin again.

But for now, to all who read this blog Owner and i wish you a very merry Christmas and we hope that 2020 brings you joy and happiness and a lot of fun.
Regular blog visitors will know that i am a bit of an exhibitionist and love to be set 'challenges' to complete that involve me appearing in public wearing something suitably unsuitable! Well, today i was again working from home and so this time it was time for me to undertake an outdoor dice challenge. The dice was duly rolled in Owners presence before we went to bed last night and it determined that i was to go to our local park wearing a short skirt and fishnet stockings.

The weather forecast for today was a bit grim (lots of rain) and so i had feared that i would get rather wet and that there might be nobody about to see me. i was wrong! The weather was dry, albeit very overcast and there were lots of people on route, both to and inside the park. Joggers, dog walkers, mothers with pushchairs etc. On the way there i got stared at by numerous passengers in a passing bus and then hooted by the driver of a van.  Various people walked past me in the park itself but nobody said anything and i was able to stop and pose for some pictures, send Owner my 'evidence' of a challenge completed and then return back home. All in all i was outside in my red heel shoes with fishnet stockings and skirt for a little over twenty minutes, and back in time for my work teleconference. As ever it was a great thrill to do. Here are some pictures from my little adventure

in the park

Looking excited as about to leave the house
on route to the park
Owner has said that She is going to review all of my dice challenges next year as they are becoming too enjoyable for me and 'easy'. i have to confess that a few years ago i would never have dared go to my local park dressed as i was or walk around the neighbourhood having van drivers hoot their horns at the sight of me in my stocking clad legs. i confess it is quite an addictive thrill and i am grateful to Owner for pushing me to do it. i am fast becoming quite the happy outdoor slut!
Yesterday Owner and i went into town to do a bit of last minute Xmas shopping, mother if you are reading this you are getting a pair of lined leather gloves. The area around Oxford Street was heaving with people, an almost solid wall of humanity, and so we escaped to one of the pubs we know down a side street. Owner had made a reservation earlier for the two for dinner to have dinner so we planned to have a couple of drinks then head to our meal. However, not long after arriving in the pub Owner started to feel unwell and so we went home and i cooked dinner instead. Then we spent the evening watching a couple of programmes on the iPlayer. Not quite the evening we had planned but a very relaxing one nonetheless.

This morning Owner appeared to have got Her mojo back for She woke me up by gently caressing my nipples through the lace fabric of my baby doll nightie. My nipples are like bullets at the best of times these days and are deliciously sensitive to the touch and Owner's caresses quickly brought them to full attention. Owner continued to caress them then had me strip off out of the baby doll whilst She in turn removed Her knickers which She then placed over my head, ensuring the aromatic gusset was positioned right under my nose.

Owner then switched Her attention to my chastised clit, which was now quite swollen inside its' cage. She began to spank and beat my testes and then bent down and took them into Her mouth, sucking and biting on them before spanking them again. Needless to say this felt both painful and heavenly at the same time, though gradually the pleasure overtook the pain. However, no sooner had i started to become fully aroused when Owner stopped and took out Her vibrator from it place in Her bedside cabinet. Lying on Her side, Her back towards me, and with one leg bent She then placed the vibrator against Her sex and began to pleasure Herself with it. i immediately took this as my cue to get to work with my tongue on Her anus and so with Her vibrator buzzing away next to my left ear my tongue worked its' way inside Her and then began to slide in and out of Her backside. i was able to reach one of Her breasts with my free hand and so squeezed and caressed Her flesh whilst my tongue probed deeper inside Her delicious derriere. Shortly i felt the telltale quiver of Her sphincter muscles and so i pushed deeper still inside Her as she came.

Owners' anus tastes divine and i love opportunities to lick and probe and explore inside Her lick this and so i was thrilled when She continued to pleasure Herself with Her vibrator and continued to accept the presence of my tongue inside Her. And so we continued, Her vibrator purring away and my tongue buried in as far as i could stretch as Owner took Her pleasure again.

Later we lay spooning together in bed, arms wrapped around each other. It was a wonderful way to start the day. i adore providing pleasure this way to Owner. i was left in denial again but very happy for being left so, with a throbbing clit, nipples like bullets and the taste of Owner on my palette and Her scent in my lungs i eventually got out of bed to make us both breakfast to start the day.
i don't normally post much about politics but.....OMG, what a disaster! A catastrophic election outcome last night means the UK will definitely be leaving the EU and also that we now have arguably our own mini version of Trump in power with a commanding majority and the opposition nowhere to be seen - except in Scotland. Owner and i are already contemplating a possible move North.

Anyway, i doubt you read this blog for the politics so back to what Owner and i have been upto. i have finally managed to spend a couple of days working from home. These past few weeks have been super busy and i have criss-crossed the country, from Exeter to Newcastle and many a city in between. This is not something that either Owner nor i like. Owner expects Her wife to be at home and i want to be there too, so the past few weeks have not been what either of us wishes.

However, i have finally got to spend a couple of days working from home again. It was a chance to dress more appropriately for work but also to be seen dressed like this too. We have had an engineer around twice to try and sort out our boiler.These are the outfits i was wearing when he came round  (though i did not have my skirt hitched up as i do in the picture below - nor was i reclining in repose as i am in the second!)
my outfit for the day
in repose
The first outfit i was wearing was one of my regular 'office' outfits for working from home, the second a 'dress down Friday' outfit.  To think that there was once a time when i would have been completely mortified for a stranger to see me dressed like this at home, now i no longer care what they might think. As it was the engineer seemed completely unfazed and simply set about his work fixing the boiler.

i have also had an opportunity to do some home working dice challenges/tasks. The first one earlier in the week was to fuck myself with Owners' silver dildo. So first i prepared it
Then i fucked it
going....
going...
gone
It was lovely to feel it deep inside me but i was a good girl and made sure i did not get too excited! i have also realised that i have quite a pattern of stretch marks on the back of my thighs...ho hum.

The second was to practice deep-throating whilst working from home today (once the engineer had left!). You can see how i got on below


Incidentally, it has now been almost a whole year since my last orgasm. Owner has kept me in denial since the 23rd December 2018. i used to fantasise about being kept in long-term denial, now it has become reality. We rolled the chastity dice on the 11th December and it landed on the face that required i should stay locked for another month. However, Owner over-ruled it and said that i was to stay locked until my one year of orgasm denial anniversary (23rd December) and then would be unlocked for Christmas and the New Year.

i don't know whether to be happy or not. As we will be apart until i join Her in Spain on the 27th i will need to ensure that i remain on best behaviour with no touching etc of my clit. Then when i join Her i will be out of chastity but whether this will result in my period of long-term denial coming to an end or whether i will simply be kept in that state (albeit unlocked) and then maybe returned to chastity when we get back to the UK i have no idea. What it does mean though is that Owner remains in complete control and determines whether or not i get to cum or remain chaste. This is exactly as things should be.

In fact it is interesting to look back on how our 'sex life' has changed in the time that Owner and i have known each other. When we first went from 'just good friends' to something more serious - about 14 years ago - we used to have a pretty vanilla sex life. Then, and not long into our relationship, chastity came into play - at my own suggestion. We played around with it for a bit but there were still many times i was left out of chastity and i was still permitted, on occasion, to have my clit inside Her pussy. However, that all changed about ten years ago. We went to Barcelona on holiday for my birthday. It was to be the last time i would ever be permitted to put my clit inside of Owner.

At about the same time Owner also decreed that i was no longer permitted to initiate sex with Her and that my body was solely for use for Her sexual pleasure. If i was to orgasm, it would be entirely at Her discretion and i must always seek permission first before cumming. Oh, and i was also encouraged to lick up my mess afterwards by Owner. It took a while for me to get used to this and there was a period when i was fairly regularly punished for 'accidental' orgasms. This was probably about the time when Owner first started to fuck me with a dildo/strapon. Most of my orgasms were either the result of that or of being masturbated to one by Owner.

Fast forward another few years - so about five or six years ago and things changed again. Owner realised that She could beat orgasms out of me by simply spanking or paddling my testicles - either when i was in or out of chastity, it didn't matter. This fast became Her technique of choice and eventually became the only means by which i was allowed to cum by Her. Orgasms via this route are very intense as at first the experience of being spanked and slapped or caned etc on your testicles is a very uncomfortable one. It hurts. But then after a bit of punishment something quite magical occurs and the pain morphs into a very intense pleasure. As a result what orgasms i had became much more vocal.

Then gradually the amount of times a year i was permitted to cum began to decline. Chastity was the norm albeit there were always periods when i was unlocked. Those orgasms i did have were now almost solely brought about through being spanked or caned on my 'plums'. Meanwhile, Owner made more and more use of my tongue and sex increasingly evolved towards Her use of one of Her vibrators whilst my tongue pleasured Her backside. She also took more and more pleasure from sitting on my face and half-suffocating me whilst i orally pleasured Her delicious anus.

Which brings us to today, or rather this year. As i say i will have gone an entire year without orgasm by the time we get to Christmas. Much of that time will have been spent in chastity although i am periodically unlocked for periods of time determined by the roll of a dice. To my surprise i have come to really enjoy my period of denial and will have very mixed feelings should it be brought to an end by Owner. But, as always it will be Her choice, just as our evolving sex life has been governed by Her. i love Her for gifting me this experience and hope to continue to serve and pleasure Her as long as we both live.
What a lovely way to start the day! This morning Owner woke me up by gently caressing and stroking my pussy before removing her knickers and placing them over my head so that the gusset was positioned directly under my nostrils. The aroma was wonderful. i adore the scent of my Owner.

Next She moved Her attention to my breasts, caressing and stroking my nipples and sucking on them before then spanking my swollen plums, my clit was now swollen inside its chastity cage. At first Owner used Her hand on my testicles but then moved to using the 'fly-swat' paddle that hangs permanently from the headboard of our bed for just such a reason. After spanking me until i was audibly moaning Owner switched tack again.

Grabbing Her vibrator She brought it between Her legs and began to pleasure Herself with it. i took this as my cue to move position so that i could start to lick Her anus. It wasn't long before we had settled into what is one of Owners' favourite positions, that is with Her straddling my head with Her vibrator purring away against Her clitoris whilst my tongue is licking and probing Her backside. As always She tasted divine. Owners' anus is one of my absolute favourite flavours. We stayed locked like that, Owner with my head clamped between Her thighs and my tongue gliding in and out of Her whilst Her vibrator worked it's magic.

Once satiated Owner then had me flip onto all fours and start to fellate Her favourite dildo whilst She rummaged around for Her lube. Next She lubed up my pussy and slowly pushed Her dildo into me, then positioned it against Her thigh. Grabbing Her vibrator She then pleasured Herself once more with Her electric friend whilst fucking me with Her cock. As She fucked me i kept saying how i loved being Her whore, being fucked by Her, feeling Her cock inside me. Owner fucked me harder and harder until She collapsed on top of me, fully satiated once again.

After withdrawing Her cock we cuddled up in bed together and Owner permitted me to feast on Her wonderful breasts. i mentioned to Owner that it has now been almost a full year since i last had an orgasm - it will be a year on Tuesday. She seemed a little surprised but gave no indication as to when or whether i might ever be allowed to cum again. For my part i am truly happy being kept denied like this and very grateful to Her for the opportunity to experience genuinely long-term denial.

As i say, it was a wonderful way to start the day!
The last few weeks have been super busy for Owner and i, albeit not in a good way. i have had a mad few weeks doing presentations and workshops around the country for work which has meant i have spent hardly a day working from home and had to stay away for a few nights this week whilst i was up in the North of England. Neither Owner nor i like spending time away from one another and we equally both hate it when i am not working from home, as Owner expects me.

Meanwhile, Owner has started a new job which is not turning out quite as She hoped and is causing Her stress.The result has been that neither of us has been at our best and we are both quite tired. Worse, we also know that we will be separated again over the Christmas period with Owner off to stay with Her family and me mine, although i will be joining Her in Spain for the New Year.

Talking of Christmas i also sometimes wish i could tell my family what i would really like as Christmas presents rather than having to conceal that. i'd love to say, oh i would love some make-up or maybe some lingerie or this pretty new blouse or skirt. Instead, i say i would love some vouchers from shops X,Y and Z so that i can then go and purchase some pretty things with Owner. i guess that is perhaps not such a bad thing though and does mean i get better value for money as the post-Xmas sales are on by then :).

Owner and i did go to the theatre last weekend to see a great version of the Taming of the Shrew by the RSC at the Barbican. In this production the genders of all the characters had been swapped so all the male characters became women and vice-versa. It made for a very funny and enjoyable production. We have also been out for drinks and meals a couple of times. However, my having been so busy with work has felt like i have got out of sync with some of my routines and chores and so both of us cannot wait for things to return back to normal a little so that i can be back working from home again where Owner likes me to be and i also like to be too.

Oh and on top of that our boiler has been playing up and we still need the kitchen people to come back and make good a number of the things that they cocked-up.

So, in short, it has been a slightly frustrating few weeks, hence the lack of post updates as there has not been much to tell.