Owner controls and dominates my life in some many wonderful ways. She controls me financially, She decides what i will eat or drink when we go out, i need Her permission before making any purchases, She decides what clothes i might buy, how Her home is to be kept and decorated, She can chastise or punish me at any time, She sets me tasks and challenges, expects that i will keep Her home clean and tidy at all times, will prepare all Her meals and do all Her washing. She also keeps me collared at all times, at home as well as at work. And of course, She dominates me sexually, is clear that my purpose is to pleasure Her whilst keeping me in denial (over 400 days and counting since my last orgasm). In short, She controls and dominates me completely, She owns me. As Her wife i am a moon locked in happy eternal orbit around Her planet. Her ownership of me is complete, there is not an aspect of my life into which it does not extend and shape and determine what i may or may not do.

Thus, it is only fitting that as Her final gift to me for my fiftieth birthday Owner designed a tattoo for me to publicly mark the fact that i am fully 'Owned' by Her. Earlier this week i headed out to the tattoo parlour to be permanently inked in a way that publicly and very openly celebrates the complete control Owner has over me. The tattoo is on my right inner thigh and is big enough to be fully obvious whenever i am in shorts or a skirt.

i am thrilled, honoured and excited and immensely proud to be so publicly labelled by Owner as belonging to Her completely. She is a truly amazing and wonderful woman who has lit-up and enriched my life in so many wonderful ways. To be Hers is to be complete. She is my world and i cherish Her absolute rule over me. To be owned by Her, to be able to submit totally to Her and for Her absolute control and dominance over me to be marked upon my flesh until the day i die is a truly wonderful privilege. For it is only that, namely my own death, that would ever cause us to be parted. i am Hers for as long as i have breath in my lungs and am honoured to be marked for life as belonging to Owner. She truly is the person who makes my life complete and i love and adore Her.

So what does the new tattoo look like? Well the first thing to say is that the tattoo artist deviated a little from Owners' original design. i didn't realise this at first, other than the fact the tattoist had changed the placing of Owners initials (which i checked Owner was ok with). However, when i returned home Owner was quick to spot that the tattoo lookeda little different from Her original design. i love how it looks and all that it represents but Owner is a bit disappointed as it is not a replica of the design She produced. The artist also needs to re-touch one of the initials as the final version did not come out quite right, but she is confident it can be fixed.

So these are a few shots of me getting the tattoo done and the final version
on the couch, stencil marked up, waiting to be inked
2/3 of the tattoo completed
And now a photo of the tattoo the day after having it done
1 day later
i like the fact that the tattoo clearly says i am 'Owned' and has Owner's initials around it, marking me as Hers (accepting one of the letters needs tweaking slightly). As i say, Owner is disappointed it deviated from Her design but i am hoping She will grow to like it - She says is pretty, just not quite what She drew. The most important thing for me is not really the design but the statement itself. i am owned and am owned by Her. That is what i want people to know if they see the tattoo. My inner thighs now proclaim Owners' nickname for me and my status as being owned by Her.
It's not all photoshoots and fluffiness in my life as Owners' submissive wife, there are still chores to complete and some suffering to endure. An example of the latter has been the start of the domestic chores dice regime which began in earnest this week.  For those unfamiliar with these dice these are new ones devised by Owner and they are designed to enhance my experience when i complete some of my routine domestic chores each week. This week the dice determined that when cleaning the fridge i was to wear weighted nipple clamps and then when cleaning the bathroom i was to wear ten mini-pegs on my nipples/breasts. As chance would have it my cleaning routine meant that each both fell on consecutive days at the start of this week - as a consequence of which my tits are now a little sensitive! It should keep me going until next week's dice get rolled.

This is me preparing to clean the fridge with the weighted nipple clamps in-situ (i had to undo my cleaning tunic to accommodate the clamps and weights)
heavy clamped nipples and chastised clitty
The following day i had to clean the bathroom with 10 mini pegs (a mix of metal and wooden ones) on each breast, this time i dispensed with my tunic completely
check-out my fluffy slippers!
i am also thrilled to say that i have now made the appointment to get Owners' new tattoo done on my right inner thigh. It will probably be my most overt symbol yet of Her ownership and control over me that i will have etched permanently on my body for in addition to Her initials it also says 'Owned'. The tattoo will be about 5 inches in size and so will clearly be visible if i am wearing shorts. The location, on my right inner thigh, means it will be opposite the other tattoo i had done last year which has Owners nickname for me 'Petunio' written as the stalk of a petunia flower. It is the same tattoo artist doing my new one as did that one, she was really good and we were both very impressed by her work. It should take between 2-3 hours to do and will be done later next week. i will post an image of the outcome. i am really excited at getting this done.

With this tattoo my body will have been adorned with:
  • the date (in Roman numerals) of my marriage to Owner and confirmation (in Latin) of my status as her wife
  • An 'S' serpent symbol of my submission to Owner and Her first initial
  • A key symbol representing the fact that i am often kept in chastity
  • An ankle chain with the feminine half moon symbol
  • A princess crown
  • A cat - to show my 'kitten/pet' side
  • Owners' 'nickname' for me as the stem of a petunia flower
And soon to be joined by a statement that i am 'owned' by Her with Owners' initials. i am really delighted to have been marked so clearly to whom i belong.
Owner and i have just returned from a wonderful weekend in Paris, what can i say, it was amazing. Owner planned the trip as part of my 50th birthday present from Her. We travelled out by Eurostar after work on Friday and returned on Sunday evening.

Paris is a city i know well and love, having once had a flat there in the days before i knew Owner, but She took me to places i had never visited before. On Saturday we travelled out to the Chateau at Versailles to take in the old imperial splendour and walk in the gardens. We were blessed by wonderfully dry and bright weather and had a lovely trip out. That evening we dined at a lovely little restaurant near our hotel in Montmartre in which i was allowed to feast on duck and also enjoy an exceptionally tasty desert. The food was delicious.

Meal over Owner then took me to the Moulin Rouge to watch the showgirls (and boys) in the world famous cabaret and learn a few poses and moves to try myself. Again, i was treated in that Owner allowed me to have a half bottle of champagne watching the performance. The show itself was camp and over the top but good fun and i was left in awe of the outfits...i really, i mean REALLY do need one of their amazing feathery outfits and how they do the high kicks and splits like they do i will never know.

Sunday, after breakfast in the hotel it was then time for Owner and i to do a little cabaret inspired photoshoot with Owner as photographer par excellence and me as Her muse. Owner had bought me a wonderful basque, knickers, fascinator and new heels for my birthday to wear for the shoot and we had a great time. We shot inside the hotel room, in the corridor and outside on an elevated walkway that connected two parts of the building and which also had a wrought iron staircase. This outdoor space was accessible to anyone in the hotel and visible from a number of the rooms, the occupants of at least one of which got to see me posing in my heels. i loved it and was left on a high for the rest of the day.

Photoshoot over we then had time to wander at our leisure around Montmartre, enjoy lunch and an afternoon coffee before returning to Gare du Nord and catching the Eurostar home. It was a truly wonderful birthday weekend and i feel like the luckiest 50 year old alive.

Here are some shots from the weekend, first from the photoshoot:







And some shots from out and about over the weekend in Paris and Versailles
Moulin Rouge
Sacré-Cœur
Montmartre
Versailles
Owner and i inside the Moulin Rouge waiting for the show to start (you were not allowed to photograph the actual show)

So today is the day that i turned 50. As i write this it is not even mid-morning here in the UK but already my day has been full of wonderful gifts, surprises and challenges, with more...a lot more, still to come.

My day started at 6am with Owner getting up and preparing breakfast for the two of us whilst i lay in bed. It is normally me that makes the breakfast and so i was feeling quite guilty lying there as i listened to Owner busying Herself in the kitchen. Owner had given me strict instructions to not leave the bed until She came to collect me for breakfast and present opening.

This is the sight that greeted me when Owner led me through into the lounge.
Cake, breakfast, presents' dice and pee
What a sight for sore eyes. Owner had got me a delicious birthday cake, made my breakfast and laid out the dice i was to roll and her presents ready for opening. She also had a special treat for me and this is what i started with first. Yes, Owner had provided me with a delicious glass of her piss for me to enjoy, and enjoy it i did! It was delicious and a wonderful way to start my birthday
Cheers - birthday drink of Owners' pee
drinking Owners' pee - apologies for my mad hair!
Pee drunk it was time to blow out the candles on the cake and move onto the next order of business, dice rolling. The first dice to be rolled was the chastity dice and i struck lucky. i am henceforth being locked back into chastity for a period of 3 months
the outcome of my chastity dice roll
Next up was the monthly outdoor challenge dice roll. i ended up with one of the 'easier' potential dice combinations, namely to pose wearing shorts and trainers outside the cafe in our local park. If you read on you can see how i got on.

Dice rolling completed it was then time to move onto the main order of business, present opening. Boy, did i do well! First, up Owner is gifting me a new tattoo that will clearly state that i am owned by her. She has come up with a design and now all i need to do is make an appointment to get the tattoo done. She is currently considering whereabouts on my body She would like it to go. Her current preference is for it to go on my right inner thigh, opposite where Her previous tattoo is which says my nickname. She has also considered getting it done on my arse but thinks it might be too big. This is Her design - it's wonderful, i love it!
Owners' design for my next tattoo
The next present was a real surprise. This weekend Owner is whisking me away for a weekend trip to Paris, including a visit to Versailles (which we have always wanted to see) as well as an evening performance at the Moulin Rouge. i am super excited at the prospect of seeing the show. We are having a meal beforehand and then we have a night of high kicking, bloomers and stockings wearing girls ahead of us. Oh how i wish i could join them on stage. But Owner has thought of that too. Though i won't be joining in the cabaret the last of my birthday presents were a pair of amazing heeled shoes, a basque, frilly knickers and a fascinator to wear for a photo shoot in our hotel the next day. i will, after all, get an opportunity to dress as a show girl. i am super excited at the prospect. Here's a sneak preview of my amazing new shoes
Last, but not least i also got a beautiful pair of ear-rings to wear. They are silver with a small red stone inset and are completely gorgeous, i love them
my beautiful new ear-rings
Owner also has one more treat planned for my birthday. She is taking me to dinner tonight to one of our favourite places which has amazing views across London. We're both really looking forward to it.

So, didn't i do well!! i got some absolutely amazing presents from Owner and i am super excited about our weekend away to Paris. What additional excitement could the morning possibly bring? Well, completing my challenge for one thing.

The dice had decided that i was to wear shorts and trainers outside the cafe in our local park. With Owners' permission i selected some pretty shorts and my heeled trainers to wear combined with over-the-knee socks, a bra and top. It is currently 9 degrees in London so i also needed a coat to wear. This is what my outfit looked like:
my dice challenge outfit
Preparing to leave the house
heading to the park
outside the park cafe
old lady and dog
One thing i have realised with these challenges is that i ought to invest in a selfie stick, there is only so far my far can extend!

Owner was pleased with me when She saw the photos to show Her that i had completed the challenge. i am already looking forward to next month's one! What a wonderful way to start my 50th and what a lot of amazing presents, treats and surprises i received.
Last night Owner revealed the new dice and new rules for using the dice that will be introduced for this year. Many of you will know from previous posts that Owner came up with the genius idea of using dice to determine things such as, how long i should spend in chastity, what challenges i should complete etc. Anyway, Owner decided at the end of last year that it was time to update and refresh the dice and last night Her new dice and the new rules for using them were revealed to me.

So, what do the new dice say? Well, there are now three sets of dice;
  • one dice for chastity
  • two that determine what i am to do when completing my routine indoor domestic tasks 
  • a set for completing outdoor challenges
Let's take each one of these in turn.

Chastity Dice

i will start using this dice on my birthday (this coming Thursday). Unlike the last chastity dice rather than being rolled on a specific day each month this new one will be rolled whenever it is necessary to do so. This is to reflect the fact that chastity will no longer be the default for me, rather for this year the question of whether i am locked or not will be entirely determined by the dice and the values Owner has loaded it with. So, starting this Thursday the dice will be rolled to answer the question, should i be locked into chastity or not? The answers the dice has been loaded with are:
  • yes, locked for 3 months
  • yes, locked for 1 week
  • no, unlocked for 3 months 
  • no, unlocked for 1 month
  • yes, locked for 2 days
  • no, unlocked for 2 days
The dice changes mean it is likely that i will spend more time unlocked in 2020 than i did in 2019. As someone who likes being locked up i am going to have to practice my dice rolling skills :). However, this does not affect whether or not Owner intends to keep me denied i.e. without an orgasm, which She has done since December 2018.

Domestic Tasks Dice

Owner has introduced a new concept for 2020, the domestic tasks dice. On a daily basis i am expected to undertake a series of domestic tasks/duties. Some of these occur everyday e.g. prepare all meals, others on specific days of the week i.e. thoroughly clean the bathroom. i have been doing such tasks for many years now. Anyway, starting next Monday (20th January) Owner has instructed that i am to roll 2 dice twice at the start of each week. The dice will give instructions for things i need to do when completing specific tasks that week. One dice has been loaded with a selection of some of the tasks i complete every week, either daily or on specific days. These comprise:
  • Clean room
  • Clean floors
  • Clean fridge
  • Wash-up
  • Cook
  • Clean bathroom
The second dice has then been loaded with instructions for what i must do when completing a task. The instructions it has been loaded with are:
  • Naked and gagged
  • Mini pegs on clit (20)
  • Buttplug
  • Nipple clamps + weights
  • Nipple clamps
  • Mini pegs on nipples (10)
Both dice are rolled twice at the start of the week. When undertaking the tasks identified by the first dice that week i.e. cleaning rooms or washing-up for example they need to be undertaken with the outcome of the second dice i.e. clean room wearing nipple clamps or a buttplug etc. There are obviously multiple combinations of possible outcomes. What is certain is that my cleaning and cooking duties will be quite a bit more interesting this year!

This brings me to the third and final set of dice.....

Outdoor Challenge Dice

As an exhibitionist i have come to really relish the outdoor challenges Owner set me with Her previous outdoor challenge dice. Her new dice raise the bar still higher and leave me nervously excited at the potential challenges that lie ahead for me. These dice will be rolled on my birthday this week and then once a month for the remainder of the year, so in total i will complete at least 12 such outdoor challenges in 2020.

There are two outdoor challenge dice. One dice determines what i am to wear and the second determines the location in which i am to wear the outfit. Let's start with the outfits. The first dice has been loaded with the following instructions that will decide what i am to wear for the challenge. Each challenge will, as usual, require that i provide Owner with photographic evidence that it was completed. The options it has been loaded with are:
  • Dress & high heels
  • Skirt, high heels and wig (grey long haired one)
  • Long coat & only underwear underneath
  • Trousers & high heels
  • Cat ears head band, shorts & high heels
  • Shorts & trainers
The second dice determines the location in which i am to wear the outfit. The options the dice is loaded with are:
  • Bus stop near local park
  • Bus stop at the end of our road
  • Asda supermarket (large one)
  • Outside the cafe in our local park
  • Downstairs outside our flat in the street
  • Our local railway station
As you can see some of the potential outcomes could be very innocuous and easy to do without causing any stress or anxiety (to me!), for example wearing shorts and trainers stood in the street outside our flat. Others, however.....would be a little me more nerve wracking, for example wearing shorts, cats ears and high heels stood outside our local railway station - which is a busy one, or going to the supermarket wearing only lingerie and a long coat (actually - i need to check if i am allowed to also wear shoes for that one), or stood outside the cafe in our local park that is popular with mum's and their toddlers wearing a skirt, heels and wig combination. The possibilities for humiliation are multiple, i love it!

So, these are the dice that will be determining much of my life for 2020. i am extremely grateful to Owner for, once again, coming up with a great set of ideas and especially for further pushing me to show the world what a slut i really am.
Good news, i am off my crutches at home. i still cannot walk normally and i super slow when hobbling around but i no longer need to use my crutch at home. i even ventured outside to the shops yesterday, my first un-escorted journey outdoors since New Years Day! i am really pleased as Owner has something planned for next weekend as a birthday treat. i have no idea what it might be but She did say it was dependent on my leg healing...so far so good.

Talking of birthday treats, one thing that i do know i will be getting is a glass of Owners delicious piss. This i am really looking forward to as i love to drink it. Owner is also taking me out for a meal on the night of my actual birthday which i am looking forward to.

i have been working from home all week and seemingly each day a parcel has been delivered which i was under strict instructions from Owner to take immediately to the bedroom and not try to open or shake or in any other way guess their contents as they were presents for me. There is now a big bag sitting in the wardrobe all waiting to be opened on my birthday. Owner has also managed to arrange it so that She too will be working from home on the day of my birthday as i am too. It promises to be a lovely day and weekend. To think some people get really upset when they hit 50, i cannot wait for my birthday!
dress down Friday - finally without my crutches
i also received my new cleaning uniform ordered over the New Year. These are the outfits i wear in the evening to do housework etc in. i really love this one, it is a cute design, i bought it from a company called Harveys who also offers a service where you can have some text embroidered onto it. Mine says Owners' pet name for me 'Petunio' the same name that is tattooed on my inner thigh.

in my fluffy slippers :)

Owner and i sadly spent Christmas apart with Her family and me staying with my sister until i was able to rejoin Owner in Spain just after Xmas. As a result there was little to particularly write home about in terms of Christmas itself. The only highlight came when, on Christmas Day my sister remarked to Owner during a phone call how useful it was having a slave (meaning me) about the house to help with all the cooking etc. The remark was meant innocently enough, i think, but it made me smile.

It was, however, lovely to finally get out to Spain and re-join Owner just after Christmas and spend time staying with Her family. We hope, maybe one day soon, to get our own flat out there which would be lovely. We shall have to see. But we were able to catch-up with some friends and eat lots of lovely food and enjoy the unusually nice weather - it is the North of Spain which is usually wet this time of year but instead was bright and sunny.

Unfortunately, however, on New Years day i hurt my leg whilst out for a run and so returned to the UK on crutches. i am under strict instructions from Owner that i need to recover in time for my fiftieth birthday treat in a fortnight. As a result She has been doing the cooking and housework not me and leaving me to feel extremely lazy and guilty. It has, however, made me realise how much i need to raise my game when it comes to cleaning and housework. Owner said that the one thing that She wants me to focus on above all others this year is to fully adopt and follow Her standards when it comes to cleanliness and de-cluttering. Owner adopts a merciless approach, any items left out that look superfluous get thrown-away/recycled. She has a very low tolerance for clutter. i am much better and tidier that i was when we first met and usually (leg permitting) do all the housework. It is clear to me though that i need to seriously raise my game and so this year my resolution is to focus hard on being a much better housewife when it comes to keeping our flat exactly as Owner would like it.

Meanwhile, i am starting to get very excited about my forthcoming fiftieth birthday - which is on the 16th of this month. Owner is taking me out to dinner that evening and has something planned for me the following weekend as a 'treat'. i have no idea what it will be but am very excited about whatever it is. My mind is on over-drive wondering what it could be.

Owner is also continuing to keep me in denial but out of chastity pending Her review of the various dice She uses which determine whether i am to be locked up or not and what challenges or tasks i am to undertake. i look forward to finding out what She may have in store for me for 2020.

In the meantime here is a photo of me wearing the new blouse and skirt i purchased (with Owners' permission) using the vouchers i got from my Dad for Xmas - thanks Dad!
me and my crutch!
Incidentally, a combination of short skirt and crutches can be, i have discovered, quite advantageous at times. The delivery man was very helpful in bringing our groceries inside and helping to unpack them for me when he brought them around.