Daydreams and fantasies

This post is a little different from my usual ones. This time you get to see a little window into my warped little mind, more specifically, the sorts of thoughts, fantasies and ideas that swirl around my brain and which distract me from time to time. So here, in no particular order, are some of the things that i spend idle moments daydreaming about;

• Experiencing life as a woman, not becoming one but being able to experience a month or a year as one. This is something i have wanted to experience ever since i was a teenager (that and the ability to read people's minds!). At school i always wanted to know what it would be like to be one of the girls and that feeling has never left me. It is not powerful enough for me to want to actually become one but that fascination with women and what it must be like to experience life as one has never left me. i am very lucky in that Owner does allow me to explore my femininity. But i would love to magically become a woman for a month or so, and it would have to be at least a month to get the full menstrual experience. i think i would be a very slutty girl!
• Spending the rest of my life locked in permanent chastity and with no ability to ever have the device removed. Now you can tell this is a fantasy rather than a practical idea for many reasons. Firstly, Owner does like to have me out of chastity from time to time so that She can tease and play with my 'clit'. My being in chastity, and i have probably spent as much of our 14 years together locked up as not locked, was originally my suggestion to Her. Owner agrees that it has helped with my development but She does not enforce it on a mandatory basis.  She does like to have me unlocked for periods as well. Practically i also have to remove the device periodically to clean it and shave my 'clit' or swap it for a plastic one (it's metal) when flying. The device that i am locked in is a super small size metal device. Ideally, i would love an even smaller device.
• The smell and taste of Owner, especially Her delicious anus and urine! i cannot even begin to say how much i love both the taste and smell of both. Just thinking about it makes me uncomfortable 'down there'. My idea of heaven is when Owner straddles me and lowers Her bottom onto my eager waiting tongue. If i were to ever die with Her smothering me like that they would bury me with a grin on my face!
• Travel and travelling. i love to travel and would happily go anywhere. Owner is more selective as She is not tolerant of heat and dislikes the idea of going to places that require vaccines. OK so nobody actually likes to be vaccinated but i wouldn't not go somewhere for that reason, but Owner would. We both spend a lot of time thinking about and planning where to go next.
• Wearing very revealing outfits in public. In case you have not noticed i am an exhibitionist. i have been from a very young age (i used to sneak out the house and streak down our street age about 11). i love the idea of walking around wearing hyper revealing and not very appropriate outfits in public places. It excites me but also terrifies me a little as well, though the terror fades. i have a whole panoply of ideas, situations, outfits etc that swim around inside my head. When we visit somewhere for the first time you can pretty much guarantee that one thought going through my head is along the lines of, 'hmmm where would be a good spot to be photographed in just my bra and panties?' Of course, that is the other aspect of my exhibitionism. i love to be photographed - though am not always good at doing the 'smile for the camera' thing! i am also conscious that i need to increase my range of 'poses'. i have recently taking to trying to study how professional models stand, pose and carry themselves etc and trying to remember to include some of the positions they use when Owner is photographing me.
• Extreme body modification/plastic surgery. i am always impressed when i see someone, say on the tube or in the street, who has taken body enhancement to an extreme. Say they have enormous over-sized lips or a huge chest. The sort of enhancement that you cannot disguise or which people might not overly notice. i am talking about the 'in your face/no disguising' type of enhancement. i think i almost admire the person more than what they have had done, that they still have the self-confidence to go out and about quite happily knowing that everyone else will be looking at them, talking about them, judging them. i wonder what it would be like to suddenly acquire enormous great lips or huge great breasts or a giant inflated backside and see how people around you react to you. i admire those that have done it and, in idle moments, wonder whether i would ever have the same courage/self-confidence.
• Clothes and shopping for clothes. i used to hate shopping but ever since i started to wear only women's clothes my attitude to clothes and shopping has undergone a complete transformation. i love going shopping with Owner and love to look at all the clothes and imagine what they might look like on me and wonder whether Owner might permit me to purchase something? i also take much more interest in what women wear than i ever once did and will regularly be making mental notes about outfits that i have seen which i would love to wear myself. So for any ladies reading this who would like their husband or boyfriend to take more interest in clothes and shopping the answer is simple. Have him dress en femme. 
• Working somewhere that i have to wear a short skirt, frilly knickers and stockings and suspenders with heels as part of my uniform. i would love a job that required me to dress quite sluttily every day, especially if it was a public facing role, say as a waitress or in a bar where i had to dress like that in front of total strangers. i imagine Owner observing me as i moved amongst the customers. It is a lovely thought but is a million miles from the job i actually do...sigh.
• Cocks, specifically really big cocks. i find 95% of men unattractive (there are some exceptions - David Beckham for example) but for the most part i find men unattractive. Cocks, however, i do like. Not my own, no. Actually i don't even think about that as qualifying as one these days, in fact i don't really think about that at all anymore. No, i mean really big, thick ones. These i do fantasise about. Nice big clean shaven cocks, with pendulous testicles and a big fat head. i imagine draining them of their loads, my face slick with warm semen. i do like the taste of cum, Owner used to have me eat up my own in the days when i was allowed to orgasm. It is the one thing that i miss most about being kept in denial. So big cocks ejaculating in my general direction is another fantasy of mine.

Talking of my own cock, or 'clit' to give it's proper name, it never features in my fantasies....ever. i never daydream of having penetrative sex nor fantasise about it. Owner has not permitted my clit to enter Her pussy in almost ten years. Neither do i ever fantasise about receiving blow jobs. i have never had one in my life and have no desire or interest in having one. i fantasise about oral sex quite often and always have, but never, ever as the recipient.

So there you have it, these are some of the things that rattle around inside my head and some of the things that definitely do not.

Incidentally, in case you were wondering Owner and i are planning to do the Hideri Kanzaki photoshoot this coming weekend so we will keep you updated and hopefully post some pictures soon after. Also, tomorrow i get to roll the chastity device again (it being the 11th day of the month). Lets see if i stay locked for another month or not.