Having been locked inside my CB-3000 for nearly 4 weeks, during which time the device was removed only for cleaning purposes, Owner instructed me after last nights supervised shower not to put the device back on. For people who have not regularly worn a chastity device my reaction to this instruction might come as a surprise. Instead of being happy at this news i became slightly sullen and moody. i had not intended to react this way and am ashamed that i did and will be rightly punished by Owner for behaving so. But, there is no getting away from it, react this way i did.

i have realised, having discussed my reaction with Owner, that i had come to start to use the device as something of a psychological crutch. It made me feel 'safe' and, i believed (and still do for that matter) that it helped me to become a better submissive by concentrating my energies and efforts on pleasing Owner. What do i mean by this? Well for starters what i don't mean is that i suddenly had a frantic desire to masturbate! i have never subscribed to the idea that a sub cannot exercise enough self-control and discipline that they cannot be relied upon to not masturbate and need to wear a chastity device in order to be forcibly prevented from doing so. This may be true for some but is not the case with me. So no, i was not suddenly gripped with a feverish desire to masturbate! Rather, and this surprised me, i have realised that i had started to come to associate my wearing of the chastity device with my ability to perform the tasks and duties to a standard my Owner expects of me. In short, i feared that in a non-chaste state i might somehow become less submissive. This may sound silly, and i know now that it is, but that is what put me into a mood last night.

The other thing is that it is not like chastity was a new state for me. i have been kept in and out of chastity for going on about 2 years now. The only difference is that this was one of the longest 'stretches' i had been kept so locked up for. Most times i'm locked for a period of around two weeks. So nearly 4 weeks was something of a longer duration, and me being a stupid male had started to see the whole thing as something of a personal challenge i.e. what might my 'personal best' being locked up be? 6 weeks? Maybe a couple of months? So aanother aspect of my reaction was a silly disappointment that i hadn't been locked for longer! In other words, my reaction was in part due to a selfish feelign of a challenge thwarted. How silly is that?!

Owner and i discussed my reaction this morning and She has rightly stated that my submission to Her and service to Her should be exactly the same whether i am in chastity or not. In addition, as my Owner, it is entirely upto Her to decide if She does or does not want me in chastity. Furthermore, i will just have to exercise the self-discipline She expects of me to ensure that i do not accidentally orgasm during any subsequent play unless She has explicitly santioned it.

My conclusion to all this is that without realising it i had allowed chastity to become a psychological crutch and like all such crutches it needs to be broken. Realising it had become such a crutch is the first stage in breaking it. None of this means that Owner will not be instructing me back into chastity at some time in the future for a duration of her choosing, rather it means that i need to realise that my submission to Her should be total at all times irrespective of whether i happen to be 'locked-up' at the time or not.

Meanwhile, Owner has booked us both into a hotel this weekend for a night of fun and debauchery which i am greatly looking forward to! Owner is expecting me to behave as Her perfect pet slut, and i being the slut i am am eager to demonstrate just how slutty i can be! LOL Owner has purchased a 'Masters Sling' which She is eager to try out, as am i! And of course, now that i do not have the plastic cage to protect me i will be fully exposed and at Owners mercy if She brings along the little metal clothes pegs and their sharp bitey teeth. i just hope the room is sound proof!

Have a good weekend all
When Owner first moved in with me, almost two years ago now, we quickly both realised that neither of us wanted a 'normal' relationship with a little BDSM thrown-in. Rather, what we wanted to strive towards was a Female-led relationship. Around that time i spent a fair amount of time researching blogs, websites and books on the subject to try and establish some sense of how such a Female-led relationship might practicably work. Of course, i was, as i now realise, going about this entirely the wrong way! The essence of the relationship that would work for us would be decided and developed by Owner What i should have been doing was to really think through the things that Owner did as part of Her own routine and activities and try to see how i could take on some of these duties and activities for Her, to give Her more time to relax. In short, i'd overlooked the essential element of any Female-led relationship - namely it's not what others do or the fantasies i, as a submissive, may have, but is about what my Owner would like and how i might make Her life more comfortable. Owner does indulge me by playing with and torturing me, but this is when She wants to.

Anyway, i digress. As i was saying i realised that i had gone about things the wrong way. However, reading about how other such couples in Female-led relationships structured their lives and the routines they had developed was still extremely helpful. It gave me some ideas of things that might please Owner if i incorporated them into my daily schedule as well as a sense of what to strive towards. The following, therefore, is really written with the thought of me as i was two years ago in mind. It is my daily routine and i write it in the hope that it may be of some use/interest to another newby sub just starting their own Female-led relationship in sparking some ideas or thoughts about ways they too could serve their own Dominant Female. However, before i go on to outline my routine i should say from the outset that this is merely what works for us, others will and should develop their own routines that best suit their own relationships. i should also say that i am conscious that i still have an awful lot of training and development ahead of me (a lifetimes worth) if i am ever to hope to begin to serve my Owner in the manner in which She truly deserves. But this is where i am now in my development. Hopefully in my next 6 monthly appraisal and contract review (due imminently) Owner will grant me some additional duties and activities to further develop my training.

Anyway, enough waffling! The following is my daily (weekday) routine, which as i said earlier, i hope might be of some use/interest to other males or their Female Dommes just starting out to develop their own Female-led relationship.

06.00: Wake up - put on collar and cuffs and skimpy dressing-gown
06.05-06.30: Prepare Owners breakfast and my own. All my own meals are eaten from a dog bowl - though normally i am allowed to eat at the table. Wash-up dishes and put away.
06.30-06.35: Put out food on bird table (my neighbours must certainly chuckle if they see me - shackled and dressed in a skimpy dressing gown and heels wandering around the garden at this time of day!) + feed goldfish in aquariums
06.35-07.15: Put Owners mobile onto charge. Prepare Owners packed lunch for work then my own. Make bed and clean toilet and bathroom sink when Owner has finished in bathroom. Ensure Owner has a book to read for Her journey to work.
07.15: Kiss Owner goodbye.
07.15-08.30: Text owner to advise what knickers i will be wearing that day under my work clothes and receive any instructions i may have from Her. Think about what to make for dinner in evening and ensure we have the ingredients. Log onto internet and check emails etc. Have shower, shave and get dressed. Do some hoovering or other light cleaning. Check flat looks relatively tidy and things are put away. Update submission diary and journal.
08.30ish: Remove collar and cuffs and depart for work
Lunchtime: Get any shopping we may need
18.30ish: Return from work. Greet Owner by kneeling before Her and kissing her feet. Make Owner a cup of tea.
18.45ish: Put on make-up and feminine clothes to look pretty for Owner. Put collar and cuffs back on.
19.00 - 19.45: Start preparing dinner, my own served as usual in a dog bowl. Chat to Owner then wash-up and put dishes away.
19.45-21.30: Do some cleaning in the flat, prepare any stocks etc that we may need for forthcoming meals, do some clothes washing if needed. Be at Owners disposal if required. Supervised removal of chastity device for cleaning if needed etc.
21.30-22.00: Lick/suck Owners feet clean and give Owner a foot massage.
22.00: Snuggle up together in bed.

Weekends are similar except that neither of us need to work, i get to dress en femme all day (at home and outside) and wear nail polish and we have time to do the things we both enjoy. Others little things that i try to ensure i now always do/offer are to get fresh flowers for the flat on a weekly basis and give Owner a weekly pedicure.

Whether or not any of the above is of interest/use to anyone else i don't know. i just know that it was just this sort of information/ideas i was searching for two years ago when we first started out on our Female-led relationship and so hope it may be of some interest to someone?
It has been a wonderful birthday weekend for me, the whole time spent having fun with Owner. After yesterday afternoon's excitement of being allowed to buy some pretty clothes by Owner, including a new bra, i gave Owner a pedicure and foot massage before snuggling up with Her to watch a DVD.

This morning Owner continued the birthday 'treats'. First, after i had prepared breakfast, She pinned me down and tickled me 39 times. i hate to be tickled and have a tendency to writhe all over the place when Owner does this. However, it only seems to encourage Her! After this i prepared a stew for lunch and Owner decided that She would like to do a fashion shoot of me in some of my new clothes purchased the day before. This is one of me modelling my new bra.

After lunch i spent some time cleaning the flat and then Owner announced it was time for another birthday treat...39 minutes fun (one for every year of my life) impaled on the anal impaler with the tower of pain attached too. Owner took the following photos at the start of my treat;

With the photos taken Owner then turned Her attention to my testicles and spent the remaining half an hour spanking them and tormenting them with Her wartenburg wheel whilst i bobbed up and down and squirmed on my pole! When the 39 minutes were up i feared that my nipples would be agony when the tower of pain's clover clamps were released but was pleasantly surprised to feel nothing....well nothing at first! Soon a low throbbing pain erupted across my breasts which built in intensity so that my nipples were left super sore and throbbing intensely. As i write this (an hour later) i can still feel them throb deliciously. Thank you Owner for a wonderful birthday weekend.
Today is my birthday and i have received some wonderful treats from my Owner including crotchless panties and matching bra set (yippeee...my second bra!) and other lovely lingerie. Owner has also booked us into a hotel for a night of decadence later in the month. i am truly blessed to have such a wonderful Owner whom i love and adore.
Owner instructed me that i was too entertain Her this evening with a strip-tease/burlesque routine or two. i performed two routines in the kitchen and had great fun doing so.

Routine 1: To the sound of Deceptacon by 'Le Tigre'

Routine 2: To the sound of Into a Swan by Siouxsie

We had great fun and Owner has now stated that She expects me to perform for Her more often. Today Owner also instructed me to buy some fake fingernails and was looking closely at some extremely colourful fake eyelashes. i know i have another outdoor challenge due and suspect that these items may feature in the outfit i will be made to wear.
Owner and i have finally had an opportunity to test out a couple of the new toys that i got for Her as part of Her Christmas present, specifically Her new thick smoked dragon cane from Jack's Floggers and the anal impaler from Extreme Restraints.

The dragon cane is a wonderful piece of craftsmanship which i had arranged for Owner's name to be engraved on the end of the handle on a little brass plate - it really looks lovely. The cane is thicker than the one Owner usually uses and so she warmed me up first with some light spanking and flogging before starting out gently with the cane. After a few practice strikes Owner soon had the feel for Her new toy which delivers a meatier blow than Her other cane and soon had my buttocks glowing with little red stripes and your truly breathing deeply as i processed each blow. Owner says i have what She describes as a 'leather bottom', meaning i do not bruise easily...though i have a feeling that with a little more force the dragon cane will soon be leaving a more lasting impression. However, this was Owners first use of Her new toy and she was relatively gentle, leaving only light welts. i was rewarded by Owner inserting the vibrating inflatable butt-plug (what a wonderful invention that is), having my testicles spanked and then being granted permission to lick Owners anus whilst she pleasured Herself...still with the butt plug purring away deep inside me. A wonderful but frustating experience as i was, of course, locked safely in chastity throughout.

The anal impaler was utilised in the session that followed. It took a while for us to find a dildo that fitted, not all do as on some their base is too flared whilst others are too thick - however, we found one eventually! Owner attached the dildo and then secured my ankles to the base of the device with rope. And there i was - impaled on a dildo and with no chance of escape! With me safely secured Owner attached the tower of pain nipple clamps (which work best when i am stood up) and then left me like that blindfolded whilst She went to do something. Upon Owners return she proceeded to cane my nipples, buttocks and testicles...each time i flinched i could feel the dildo inside me....though not unpleasant after a while it's certainly not comfortable - something which meets with Owners approval. This is, afterall, supposed to be about Her pleasure not mine. To ram home this point Owner released me from the impaler and had me go on all fours on the bed where She proceeded to fuck my now wet 'pussy' with her strapon. Owner switched it to vibrate and rode me hard until She came, leaving me breathing hard and once again horny and frustrated inside my chastity device.

So, two great toys and some more still to play with...this eager slut can't wait!
Happy New Year to one and all. After the disruption of having the builders in and then a Christmas spent apart and a New Year spent together, albeit with family, Owner and i can finally get back to what we enjoy best...our own company in our own place. It seems like it has been ages since we actually were able to spend time together just being ourselves without interruption and i for one can't wait. During the past month it has been difficult to behave as the submissive my Owner deserves and though i have continued to submit and serve where and as i can i have to admit that things have slipped somewhat. Owner has been reminding me over the past few days that i have my six month appraisal coming up soon, so i had better get back to my old routine pretty damn quick! i don't want to spend the rest of my life as a trainee pet.

Sunday was wonderful though, just the two of us in bed together, Owner even allowed me to indulge in my favourite activity, namely licking her exquisite anus whilst she pleasured herself...ah, heaven! As an added treat Owner then masturbated and repeatedly slapped and spanked my testicles and penis until i was desperate for release...which was granted. Oh what a wonderful way to start a new year.

Owner has a series of challenges lined up for me over the coming weeks which i shall seek her permission to write-up at the appropriate time. It is looking like 2009 is going to be a great year.