Just a very brief post to wish everyone who reads this blog a very belated Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Sorry the posts have tailed off a little this past month, it has been a very disrupted time, what with the builders (who've still not quite finished) etc. However, i hope you've all had a fantastic one. Owner and i have been with our respective families over the festive period but will be re-united tomorrow...i for one can't wait!

Meanwhile, i leave you with a picture of the Christmas cake i baked for Owner.

Big hug and see you all in 2009.


p.s. and nobody mentioned THAT list! :)

Owner and i have just come out of a period of total chaos - yes we've had a new kitchen installed! Oh god, the dust, the debris, the noise and the hassle such a seemingly simple task can involve when you only live in a one bedroom flat. At one stage the old ceiling collapsed and the builders uncovered a host of additional problems which delayed everything by a week but now it is, almost, done. Once the builders had cleared away i re-painted the kitchen and installed a few more small units/pictures to try and get the place looking pretty again.

But we're both pleased with the results

i'm certainly delighted to have a decent oven at last in which i can bake and prepare nice food for my Owner! The downside, though, of having the kitchen installed, aside from the chaos, is that i have started to slip out again of some of my duties - it being difficult to be a sub slut when you are sharing your flat with builders! The whole episode also left Owner and i very tired and drained and so it has been a struggle to get back into my little routines of service and submission. However, now the kitchen is basically complete i know i have no excuse and so will be working hard to get back to my old submissive self. An added incentive is that i have my next six months appraisal coming up after Xmas and i don't want a repeat of the last disastrous one - especially as i think i had been improving since then.
i was reminded this weekend how, no matter how much we may all fork out small fortunes for the latest disciplinary or other implement to hit the market, sometimes cheap and cheerful everyday items can trump them every time. Owner and i went away for the weekend and as we were staying with relatives did not take along any of the usual toys that Owner likes to inflict on me (and if i'm being honest i love too!). However, this morning when we had some time to ourselves Owner soon had me wriggling and moaning in painful ecstasy courtesy of three items that together probably cost little more than a pound. The items in question were two elastic hairbands and a plastic hairbrush. Owner wrapped one hair band through each of my pierced nipples and then pulled them tight and taught and tied them off to each other, before commencing to pluck and play with them. Meanwhile, She used the plastic hairbrush to devastating affect on my testicles, slapping and scratching and generally giving them a good old beating. It was one of the most 'intensely experienced' testicle and nipple torture experiences i have had for a while, and all using cheap everyday items. In these credit-crunched times it is worth remembering that cheap can be extremely effective!

Meanwhile, no further mention has been made by my family of the infamous 'list' i emailed to them (see previous post) - and i'm certainly not about to raise it with them, so let's hope the matter can quietly die away and my embarrassment with it. Although this evening, whilst putting out the recycling in my skirt and blouse, i did rather surprise my neighbour when she came out to do the same and saw me so attired. i do get the sense that i'm probably the only male in the neighbourhood who dresses fem. Mind you, it could have been worse, at least i wasn't wearing my frilly pink, backless and extremely short maid's outfit!
Oh dear, yesterday i managed to make a very simple yet very embarrassing mistake. As it is the run up to Christmas i decided i would email a list of some things i would find useful as gifts to my mum, dad and sister. However, my dad very quickly responded saying that he didn't know where he could get a 'cock and ball clamp/stand' from!!

OH no! i sent the wrong bloody list!!! Oh how i wanted the earth to open and to swallow me up. i'd accidentally emailed my family a list containing some of the items that i would love to receive from my Owner, including the aforementioned item alongside a list of women's clothing and accessories that i would like. Oh god, how embarrassing.

Thankfully my family are quite open-minded and my dad's response was very jokey. However, i've not yet heard back from my mum or sister. i have a feeling that i am never going to be able to live down this little episode. Oh well, i guess i could get some interesting presents when i go to stay with my sister for Christmas!

i am someone who likes humiliation....but had never intended it to happen this way.

On a separate note, my learning as Owners submissive continues to develop a pace and i have now got into a steady routine, since my disastrous contract appraisal back in September, of cooking, cleaning, massages etc. i have asked Owner if the list of things that she would like me to do on a daily/weekly basis for Her could be extended further and have put forward some suggestions in the journal that i keep. i shall just have to be patient and wait and see.

Right, off now to start preparing the Christmas cake. Have a good weekend all and remember....check your email attachments carefully before sending them through to your family or vanilla friends!!!!

Halloween, or as Owner described it the night that Owners get treated and trainee pet's get tricked. Yes, the night of the dead is always a fun and exciting evening and one that Owner and i greatly enjoy. The evening commenced with me dressing up in my Morticia outfit and then preparing Owner some traditional Halloween fayre, 'Soul' cake followed later by 'Colcannon'. After we had consumed some of the cake it was time for trainee pet to follow his Owners instructions for the evening which were wrapped up in little notes adorning our Halloween poster.

The instructions read as follows:

'1 -Samhain is considered a time to eliminate weaknesses, it is advised to write your own weaknesses onto a piece of paper and then burn them

Little pet to do a list of his weaknesses and how he is going to improve them - on his knees and wearing nipple clamps - then hand to Owner

2 -Samhain allows you to come to terms with your past year and leave all your mistakes and regrets behind you, in order to move on. Look forward to what the future holds.

Little pet to be spanked as many times as the number of punishments accrued in the past year (98 according to my punishment book!) - this will allow him to leave his mistakes behind

3 - The name Jack O'Lantern derives from an old Irish tale of a villain who after he died could not enter heaven or hell - a damned soul. So he was condemned to wander the land with only a candle to see his way placed inside a gouged out vegetable to act as a lantern

Little pet to walk up and down the corridor carrying only a candle 10 times wearing his spiked parachute harness and weights suspended - this will necessitate the temporary removal of your chastity device

4- Bobbing for apples was a classic Halloween game. In 'bobbing for apples' girls used to name each apple after a different suitor. The girl would kneel over the tub, shut her eyes, put her hands behind her back and try to catch an apple with her teeth. The one she could bite would be her future husband. A variation was to hang apples from the doorway. The first one to finish eating the apple gets married next

Rather than using a doorway Owner will hang apples from little pet's parachute device.

5 - By candlelight go alone to a mirror and eat an apple before it, whilst combing your hair. Your future lover will be seen in the glass over your shoulder

Little pet will go to the corridor mirror and will eat one of the apples hanging from his parachute...maybe his future love will appear behind him and give him some instructions'

i was so lucky, as predicted Owner appeared in the mirror next to me! She led me back into the kitchen and had me bend over the kitchen table where she fucked me hard and repeatedly with a large dildo whilst also masturbating me and spanking my testicles really hard with a baton - Her halloween ball buster.

Very soon i was moaning loudly like a truly ghoulish slut and begging to be allowed to come. Owner edged me in this manner repeatedly until i thought my testicles would burst and then stopped and instructed me to return to chastity. How wonderfully and deliciously frustrating!

Hope you all had a wonderfully wicked Halloween, or Samhain. i know i did!
Owner has had me out of chastity over the weekend for some more fun and games. Today was a really wet and overcast day in London, the perfect day for playing indoors. So this afternoon when i had completed my chores Owner and i retired to bed. It wasn't long before Owner had me on all fours beating and slapping my testicles so that i was moaning like a true slut! Owner then proceeded to moisten my pussy lips before inserting one of the large ribbed butt plugs into me. Owners intention was to have me plugged whilst She continued to tease and torment me, but events proved otherwise. No sooner had the plug sunk all the way in and Owner had started to tap and twist the base than....oh my what's that drizzling out of me!

Yep, yours truly was leaking semen uncontrollably in a steady stream onto the bedding. It is a weird feeling when you are milked either intentionally, or as in this instance, unintentionally. It is not at all like an orgasm, just a constant drizzle flowing out of you. Needless to say i was quickly made to lick up my mess from the covers.

However, today must have been my lucky day because after i had been accidentally milked this way i was left hornier than i thought possible...i even began eyeing the bed posts with unnatural interest as Owner pleasured herself against me. Then Owner returned her attention to me and began repeatedly slapping and masturbating me until i was urgently requesting permission to come, and to my surprise and delight i heard those magic words; "yes come like a slut" - which i duly did all over my thighs and stomach! Owner scooped up some of my mess with her fingers and had me lick them clean before instructing me to lick up the puddle on the bed clothes. What a truly wonderful way to spend an afternoon, but it is now back to chastity time again.
It may seem an obvious thing to say, after all who amongst us that works Monday-Fridays is going to not like the weekend? However, for me the weekend is extra special as that is the time when i am expected and able to dress in feminine attire the whole time. Yep, Friday night sees the nail varnish go on and the nervous excitement build at the prospect of public outings in make-up and pretty clothes. i get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it, but each time gets a little easier than the last and Owner has been encouraging and supporting me to increase my feminisation in public.

When i first started being 'forcibly-femmed' - by that i mean not just wearing pretty panties under everyday work clothes (something i do everyday and have done for some years) but wearing something that is visible to the public i was totally terrified. i can still remember the time Owner took me to a restaurant (it was my birthday) and mid-way through the meal produced a bag and instructed me to go to the toilets and put on the contents - make-up - i was mortified. i did, of course, do as instructed but didn't dare to meet anyones eyes and was a nervous and embarassed squirming wreck - albeit in a good way! i had discussed with Owner my interest in being femmed and this was my public introduction. That was followed by other little public 'challenges' - going to the shops wearing make-up or having to purchase feminine items designed to embarass me, such as try on high heels in a busy shop etc.

However, now being femmed and being able to dress feminine in public is something that i actively look forward to - although the nerves are still there, just less. Now every evening after work i put on make-up and dress pretty and sluttily for Owner, but it is only really the weekend when i get to promenade in public with Owner. It's been fascinating, from my own perspective, to see how much more confident i have become - more so than i ever felt possible - and i believe this new-found confidence has also manifested itself positively in other areas of my life. So the weekend is now a time to look forward to and relish and to put my best foot forward, hold my head high, look other Londoners in the eye and say to myself - 'i don't care what you think of me or how i look, my Owner loves me, i love her and am happy with how i am, deal with it!'

The only thing that i haven't yet tried or been asked to try by Owner is wearing a skirt in public - other than to an event. My outdoor femme experience is still limited to full make-up, pretty tops, collar, heeled boots and women's jeans i.e. no skirts to date. i hope one day that Owner will request that too. i'll be a nervous wreck again but am now confident i could do it and once done once, well as they say...a slut does like to be seen in a skirt.
Owner has been having a lot of fun with Her trainee pet lately, indeed so much fun that he feels as if he is in a state of almost permanent arousal, which is a wonderfully frustrating state to be in! The reason for my current heightened state of arousal is two-fold;

1) Owner has recently taken to slapping and spanking my testicles on a regular basis. It is a strange sensation to have your testicles regularly and repeatedly struck, although the first blows are invariably uncomfortable and your body naturally tries to move away from the source of the sensation/discomfort by about blow number 5 something strange and altogether unexpected begins to happen. You (or at least i) begin to move your hips forward and spread your legs wider so that your testicles are even easier to access. By the time Owner has finished this little slut is driven wild with desire, moaning loadly with hips thrust forward, legs spread far apart and dangerously close to orgasm (something he knows he is not allowed to do) and all from just being struck repeatedly in the testicles.

2) Owner recently purchased a new toy as a gift for Her trainee pet to help train his pussy and keep it nicely stretched for Her. The gift in question is a wonderful Baroque solid metal butt plug from the lovely people at tickleberry

The plug is really quite heavy and large and is an excellent means for Owner to get Her trainee pet purring. The plug combined with the testicle spanking drive this little slut wild, and last night Owner combined the two sensations with the added sensation of clamping my nipples with clover clamps, having me grip the chain in my teeth and then pulling my head right back so that the chain on the clamps was pulled extremely tight. Just to make sure Owner then grabbed my nipple rings and began twisting and pulling them hard in between spanking my testicles.

All of the above was a part of a punishment which had also seen me released temporarily from chastity and made to masturbate with an exfoliating mitten. As Owner spanked and twisted Her trainee pet was commanded to masturbate for Her amusement until on the edge of orgasm and then stop before being ordered to commence again. With each passing minute my moans were getting louder and louder. This continued for some time as Owner judged how close She could get me to orgasm without actually granting me permission. It was amazingly intense and i was so frustratingly aroused i feared that even the merest extra twist of a nipple could lead to unfortunate consequences!

i was wearing a pair of crotchless 'stocking-style' tights and Owner then proceeded to employ them to great affect as a 'holster' for her vibrator. She slid the vibrator between my buttocks and the waist of the stockings and then effectively rode me for Her pleasure. Needless to say this left me in an even more frenzied state of arousal at which point i was instructed to return once again to chastity.

i truly adore being left in this state, it can last for days on end with me hopelessly, uncomfortably and frustratingly aroused. In fact, Owner often likes to use me as a 'prop' for Her own pleasure and it truly is wonderful to be able to serve Her and please Her in this way.

i am an extremely lucky trainee pet and want nothing more than to be able to continue to serve my Owner and be trained by Her.
Well, despite my best efforts i didn't get offered a part by Owner in Her 'Plan 9 For Spoilt Pets' production. However, She did state that She was impressed by my slutty creativity and so invited me to a 'Playpet' photoshoot in Belgium.

Confused? well this is a wonderful example of the kind of fun creativity Owner loves to inject into our FLR relationship. A few months ago Owner was working hard for a course and i helped Her as best i could, proofing Her essays, suggesting some minor revisions etc. As a thank you Owner booked the two of us to spend a weekend in Bruges in Belgium. This in turn developed into a new idea of Hers, namely a 'Playpet' photoshoot with me posing for slutty pictures in the hotel and in the streets of Bruges and Brussels.

The following are some of the photos that Owner took:

Hotel bedroom slut

Hotel garden slut

Happy slut on bridge in Bruges

Nervous Slut in 'Parc de Bruxelles' in Brussels

As you can see we both had a fantastic time in Belgium, the weather was perfect and we treated ourselves to chocolates and beer. Both Brussels and Bruges have lots of pretty places to visit and a wealth of history to explore. They also have some fabulous shops. The highlight of the trip for me though was that Owner granted me permission to buy my first bra. Owner chose a matching bra and panties set which i absolutely adore. i hope you will agree that they are divine?

This weekend Owner and i celebrated our 3rd anniversary with a return trip to our favourite London hotel, and the location where we first kissed. Needless to say we had a fantastic time. Owner played a wonderful game with me which had me blindfolded crawling across the hotel bedroom floor on all fours with Owner caning and spanking me and then ultimately fucking me with her strap-on.

Then when we returned home it was time for for my audition for 'Plan 9 for Spoilt Pets'

First i had to audition for a role as a zombie slut, this was my interpretation:

Then i had to demonstrate my ability to convey emotion in a scene, this was me showing my adoration for my Owner:

This was followed by me auditioning for the role of Slut Vampire Victim, my attempts were pretty feeble but here is one of my poses

After this i had to attach a tower of pain to my nipples and prepare for the pain endurance test. This involved being spanked 80 times with Owners favourite leather paddle and having metal clamps attached to my testicles whilst still wearing the tower of pain nipple clamps.

To round off an absolutely fantastic weekend i gave Owner a pedicure and foot massage. Who said that being a submissive is all hard work, it can be great fun too!!
i am extremely lucky in that i have a wonderfully creative Owner who believes that my training and development as Her submissive should be fun for both of us. One example of this is a forthcoming challenge She has set for me this weekend called 'Plan 9 For Spoilt Pets'. Based on the classic sci-fi film 'Plan 9 From Outer Space', Owner has set me a challenge of first applying for a role and then auditioning for a part in Her own version of the film. This week i had to prepare my CV and a covering letter for Her to consider and then on Sunday, having been accepted for audition, comes the big moment itself. Owner has set me a series of challenges.

The first consists of dressing as a 'Zombie Slut' and then as a 'Slut Vampire Victim'. Owner expects me to demonstrate my acting abilities and will be photographing me in my roles.

Secondly, i have to practice my facial expressions ranging from happiness, sadness, pain and sluttiness.

Third, i have to deliver a series of lines and speeches to Her satisfaction - all adapted from the original screenplay.

Fourth, i am then to demonstrate my ability to endure punishment and torture to Her
satisfaction using implements such as Her favourite spanking paddle, tower of pain
nipple device and lots and lots of mini metal clothes pegs.

These challenges that Owner sets me as part of my training are always great fun and provide me with something to concentrate my efforts on in preparation for over the preceeding week. In the past there have been a range of other such challenges, generally all themed, in which i have been expected to demonstrate my sluttiness, creativity and ability to endure punishment and discipline to Her satisfaction. i really can't wait and am terribly excited about the event. i will see if i am allowed to post some pictures from the event afterwards.

Outside of the 'Plan 9' event my own re-training as Owners submissive is progressing steadily. i'm really pleased that i am now once again back into the routine of doing all of the household chores and duties i had been neglecting in the period leading upto my disastrous contract review at the beginning of September. Owner has even been receiving nightly foot massages for the past month, something that i am greatly enjoying giving, especially as i am allowed to orally clean and worship Her feet beforehand. So so far so good, though i still keep receiving punishments somehow!

This weekend is also our 3rd anniversary. Owner an i first became lovers, having known each other as friends for about 6 months, when Owner kissed me at Charing Cross station in London (though we started out vanilla the signs of future FLR where there from the beginning) . Since then, we have returned every year at least once to the hotel above the station (which is very grand) and booked ourselves into one of their executive suites for the night. It is a lovely thing to do every year to mark significant moments in our lives together (of which there have been many).

i really am blessed to be able to share my life with such a wonderful woman and Owner and i can't imagine anything better than spending the rest of my life with Her. To be able to submit and to be accepted into training by such a wonderful woman is the icing on the cake. The best thing about it too is that we both love and our developing into our respective roles. Owner is becoming ever more assertive and demanding of what She expects from Her trainee pet and i in turn am experiencing the joy that is to be able to submit with heart and body to the one i love. As we develop as a couple so too does our Female-led relationship and we are both loving and learning from the journey.

Owner has, as mentioned previously, recommenced setting her trainee pet with a series of challenges for him to undertake. Today i had to meet Owner at Kings Cross station in London and walk around the station hall wearing my red high heeled shoes. In an effort to please Owner i also put on some light make-up, my outdoor 'training' collar, a red top to match my heels, trainee pet 'L' badge and red stockings under my fem jeans.

i was nervous as hell before meeting Owner, the station was packed and i couldn't find anywhere discrete to take-off my boots and slip on my heels. However, i was able to find a quiet corner of the station to change my footwear moderately discretely - only those queing for the taxis could see me, and so was fully prepared and dressed for the challenge when Owner greeted me. Owner led me into the station itself and then showed the route that i was to walk, basically i had to do a lap of the station hall. i nervously set off on my trot around the hall being careful to try and ensure i did not slip! or to make eye contact with people just in case i recognised someone!

The picture was taken by Owner at the end of my lap. i think you can tell i was both relieved and excited to have completed my challenge. i particularly like the police officer in the background!

It is our anniversary in a week's time and i am taking Owner to our favourite hotel for the night. Apparently i am to have an audition the next day for Owner that she has entitled my 'Plan 9 For Spoilt Pet'. i have absolutely no idea what this will involve but will do my best and update what it involved and how i got on.

Challenges aside Owner has stated that She has observed an improvement in trainee pet's performance since She issued her ultimatum to me and i was demoted to trainee pet status. For myself, i feel i have now settled into a new routine and am remembering to do all of my household chores and duties, and generally strive to become a much better pet and submissive for Owner. It is wonderful to be back properly serving my Owner again and i think the picture shows just how happy i am to be back being trained. Our relationship is a journey and i have a long way to go and develop as a pet Owner can be truly proud of. But i am enjoying every minute of my re-training as Owners submissive and hope that i can continue to develop and progress in my submission to Her. i truly am a lucky trainee pet!
Owner and i have just returned from a fantastic week away in a remote cottage near the sea. i have been trying to improve my performance of late, much needed as the results of my assessment will testify, and Owner seems to have noticed an improvement. i am now offering Owner nightly foot massages and am cleaning on a daily basis and i was really pleased that i continued to undertake these activities for Owner whilst we were on holiday.

Naturally, i still managed to do things wrong and require punishment. As a consequence i spent some time walking around a small market town with Owner whilst wearing japanese clover nipple clamps, which Owner took great delight in pulling and tugging! The funniest incident though occurred on the second to last day of our holiday. As a punishment Owner had me kneeling on all fours on a wooden table in the lounge. i was wearing weighted nipple clamps and had 20 mini clothes pegs attached to my testicles. There was a large butt plug in my 'pussy' and i had just commenced fellating Owners dildo (i was due to remain like this for at least 15 minutes) when there was a sudden knock at the door - bear in mind this was an isolated country cottage we where staying in. i had to make a rapid exit to the bathroom whilst Owner dealt with the caller - it turned out it was the cleaner who had got the date wrong for our departure. i'm just pleased i had remembered to lock the door and that she hadn't just walked straight in!

i am also getting accustomed to being caned once again on a regular basis. Owner currently administers 80 strikes of Her cane per session and we are currently working up towards 100 stokes plus. Owner has also added a new dimension to my punishments, now every time i do something that requires punishing She also removes one of the items of pretty clothing that i like to wear. This is actually a really good incentive to be better behaved as i love to dress up in pretty clothes and am mortified at the prospect of having nothing left to wear.

Owner has also re-commenced her series of humiliating/embarrassing challenges for me. At the airport at the start of our holiday i had to buy some lipstick and nail polish at the airport whilst wearing a tiara and later this week i have to walk the length of a busy London train station in red stiletto heels - which could be interesting!

It's so nice to be back serving my Owner once again, we both feel so much happier and more content. i just hope that one day i can again earn the right to wear Owners collar.
Yesterday was the anniversary of my collaring by Owner. However, it was not a cause for celebration as I have been demoted to trainee pet and had my full pet collar removed. Owner is extremely justified in doing this and has rightly commenced a period of intensive re-training of Her pet to get me back performing my expected tasks and duties. To explain why this situation has arisen I need to briefly re-cap the past year of our lives together.

My collaring ceremony on the 8th September 2007 was and is one of the proudest days of my life. Owner had stipulated a series of behaviours and tasks that she expected me, as her pet, to perform for her. Owner had stated that these would be continuously built upon over time to further my total submission to Her in our relationship. For the first 8 months things went extremely well. i was performing my tasks and duties as expected and was relishing my role as Her submissive pet. i was learning and acquiring new skills and was an extremely happy submissive pet.

Then a couple of things happened which, though I do not offer them as an excuse for the subsequent decline in my behaviour and eventual demotion back to trainee pet status, do provide the context for my decline in behaviour. Those things were

• Trying and ultimately failing to sell our flat and buy a house
• Owner commencing a period of intensive study for a course she was doing

Trying to sell the flat meant that house hunting, having to show people around the place, dealing with solicitors and incompetent estate agents etc. The routines that Owner and i had built into our relationship got seriously disturbed and our lives became increasingly stressful as the housing market collapsed whilst we were in the middle of trying to move. Eventually, everything fell through and we’ve decided to stay put for now. However, the experience left us both tired, stressed and emotionally drained.

Owners course meant that She was spending most evenings and weekends studying. Though i helped where I could it did mean that She had little or no time for the fun activities we used to enjoy together. Whilst Owner studied i became restless and distracted. i spent more time on the internet and neglected my duties towards Her. In short, i became a not very good pet at all.

When Owners course ended and the house/flat non-sale/purchase came to an end Owner presented me with a formal notice that my decline in behaviour and performance had been noted and i could either accept re-training along Her lines or be dismissed completely as Her Owned submissive pet. i readily signed the letter. i too had noticed how i had become listless and ill-at-ease with myself. In short, i was as unhappy with life as my Owner was with my behaviour and performance. i recognise that i am only truly happy when serving my Owner and urgently needed help to get me back on track. Owner and i made a list of areas that i had continued to perform Ok in during this period, tasks/activities i had neglected and those i had not even started. This list is detailed below:


Things I have done
Worn my collar and cuffs at home
Worn pretty clothes and make-up at home
Been in chastity
Saved some money on a regular basis
Cooking for Owner
Washing dishes
Snuggling up with Owner
Relaxing Owner
Cleaning sex toys after use and ensuring we have supplies of condoms/lubricant
Kept toe nails painted
Bent over and made himself available on command
Obtained Owners permission before buying clothes for himself
Worn his tag
Not initiated sex
Greeted Owner at door by kissing her feet
Thank Owner on knees after supervised shower
Wearing high heels at home

Things I have done but not all the time
Updated my journal and diary
Worn make-up and women’s outfits at weekends
Reminded my Owner when I am due a supervised shower
Baked Owner nice cakes/bread/biscuits
Ensured that the washing does not pile-up
Polished Owners shoes
Been Owner sex slave (apart from when pet was ill)
Not drinking alcohol very often (slipped a little lately) – but did ask permission
Reminding Owner when punishment is due
Pleasing Owner orally/manually in bed
Worn his (outdoor collar) when outside the house
Clean bathroom sink/toilet daily
Ensure clothes are neat and tidy
Preparing mini-dungeon on a Friday
Change bed linen every 2 weeks
Not orgasmed without permission

Things I haven’t done at all in past couple of months
Given my Owner a pedicure
Hand-washing Owners underwear
Pleasing Owner sexually using Queening stool
Serving as a foot rest
Licking Owners feet
Learning word/powerpoint
Obtained Owners permission before making purchases over £10
Warmed up Owners side of the bed (not easy to do if giving foot massage as well – need to discuss how best to do this i.e. should pet go to bed before Owner?)
Been kneeling on floor when apologising to Owner
Cleaned the flat completely once a week
Offered my Owner a nightly foot massage
Studied Spanish


It is now a week since Owner agreed to re-train me. i am already feeling much happier and contented than i was before and my performance is gradually returning to the level expected of me.
Owner too has commenced more regular punishments including regular canings and flogging (arse and testicles) and is again enjoying fucking Her pet.

So, although i am now once again just a trainee pet i am now much, much happier than a few weeks ago and our lives are back on track. It is wonderful to once again be serving Owner as She expects.
i have my appraisal with my Owner coming up shortly. About every six months Owner reviews my performance with me and points out areas for improvement, areas of concern and establishes new challenges and development goals for her pet. Unfortunately, i don't think this latest one will go that well as i have slipped back into some bad habits. i have asked Owner to be more severe and demanding with me and to pull me up straight away whenever i fall short of Her expectations. i know that i should not have to ask Owner to do this but i think it will help get my development as her pet back on track. i guess i will find out soon enough.
For the past 6 months Owner has been extremely stressed and busy with a course She has been doing. However, Her course has now been completed and Owner has advised Her pet that She will be re-commencing his training, especially as he has let things slip a little of late.

i am actually really looking forward to coming under Owners firm control once again. Owner is, of course, right in that with Her preoccupied with other matters i have allowed myself to drift back into some of my old bad habits. It's been quite some time now since Owner last punished and/or publicly humiliated Her pet - something that used to be an almost weekly occurrence. i have felt somewhat lost and without direction and know that i am not truly happy without Owners supervision, guidance, punishment and control.
For nearly a year now i have entertained a fantasy/ambition of becoming my Owners housewife. i say this for a number of reasons. Firstly, the world of work does not interest me, by this i do not mean that i am lazy (well ok a little!) but rather than i find the routine stifflingly dull and unrewarding. i have many and varied interests in life, some of which take-up a considerable amount of time but none of which is actually 'work' in the paid sense. The downside of these interests though is that i often find that the domestic duties that i should and need to organise, things like cooking, cleaning etc can interfere with and reduce the amount of time i spend with my Owner just the two of us enjoying each others company. i reason that if i had more time during the day by staying at home i could not only get these tasks properly completed and organised ready for when Owner returns home, but that i would also start to keep a much tidier flat as a consequence. i would also have more time to devote to the care of my Owner, and could even learn some new skills via day classes.

As you can tell from my profile picture i also like to wear women's clothing, something that my Owner encourages...infact the sluttier the better! i'll post more about this another time. The point here though is that for work i have to slip back into the clothes that society expects someone of my gender to wear at work - or at least they do in my job. i've wrested before with whether to describe myself as a TV. i'm still not convinced i am. Although i wear women's clothes and make-up i've never gone so far as to try to pass myself off as a woman. For example, although i like to keep myself mostly clean shaven, i don't shave my arms (though i do under my arms). i don't wear a wig or have a woman's hairstyle either. i also know that Owner prefers her pet to look feminised but not so feminised as to actually look like a woman. i sometimes wonder whether it is the views that i know Owner has that has stopped me taking my feminisation further. i did start to 'shape and pluck' my eyebrows about 8 months ago but Owner didn't seem to approve and so i desisted. Part of me is intrigued by the idea of taking my own feminisation further but i would never do so unless such a development were to be approved of and sanctioned by Owner - which i suspect is not that likely.

But i digress! This was supposed to be about why i aspire to be a housewife. Well the above is related because were i to be able to adopt such a role then concerns about what to wear 'at work' would no longer apply. i would be free to wear the clothes and outfits that i feel most comfortable and most myself in and which Owner either buys for me or gives me permission to purchase for myself.

i also feel strangely that, career-wise, i have achieved all that i set out to do back many years ago when i started. i can't see any way that i will progress further and am terrified of the prospect of just doing the same old thing for another 30ish years! God how dull! Owner, in contrast, continues to develop and grow in her job and with her skills. She often underates just how much talent she packs, but i feel sure that great opportunities still lie ahead of her should she wish to pursue them. Whereas, for me, work-wise i feel my own best is now behind me. i'm comfortable with this thought but not with the idea of still doing the same old thing. At home though i could develop further my own skills and interest in cooking, gardening, home care etc. i know this is a selfish thought and some might argue that i should be the one doing all the work and supporting my Owner, enabling her to have more free time to relax and enjoy life. i would love this too as time apart from her is horrible. But i know she also enjoys some (at least) aspects of her work. Freelance would be maybe be ideal.

Unfortunately, though the economics of one of us not working or earning something do not stack-up. So being a housewife will just have to remain a dream, albeit a pleasant, wistful one.
Welcome all. i'm just starting out with this blog so it may take a while before it gets some momentum going. However, the intention over time is to write and document my thoughts and experiences of living as a submissive pet/slut with my wonderful Owner.

The blog will attempt to chart my thoughts and experiences and to document my life. Owner and i have been living together now for a couple of years and in that period have tried to develop our own version of a Female-led relationship. i was collared by my Owner just over a year ago. As you can see from the image in my profile i am also a cross-dresser, i love top wear pretty outfits and Owner encourages me to do so, infact, Owner buys all of my clothes - or at least has the final say in what clothes i am allowed to buy for myself.

Another thing about me is that Owner likes to keep me (and i confess i enjoy it myself) in regular chastity. i wear a CB3000 most of the time with occasional periods of release when allowed such by Owner. i am one of, i suspect a growing band of men, who rather surprisingly discovered that their 'sex-life' improved dramatically courtesy of being placed into chastity. i've not had 'regular' sex for over two years but do have an extremely enjoyable sex life with Owner - one that is focussed on Her pleasure and satisfaction. That said, i am extremely lucky in that Owner is a great fan of Her strap-on, as i am too. In my experience there is nothing that makes me hornier or more aroused than being 'fucked' by my Owner.

i'm also a pain slut and am especially fond of nipple torture in all its wonderful forms, together with CBT. Owner is also a fan of and believer in domestic discipline as well as forced feminisation and public humiliation....more on that subject in future posts. Owner also loves tickling her pet, something i'm not that keen on!

Some others things about me, and which i am sure to blog about in future. i love wildlife and have a wildlife garden i am creating. i also love cooking - something that i've developed a great interest in since meeting Owner. In fact, my ambition in life would be to become a housewife but sadly that option is not economically feasible at this moment in time. However, i would love to just keep house for my Owner and be at home for Her at all times...maybe one day!

Oh, and i love to cycle and have a keen interest in history, politics and current affairs. You could say i try to be an ethical slut.

Anyway, that really is me in a nutshell. i will try to keep this blog going but before signing off would just like to take a moment to thank all of the other submissive males out there who too have chosen to let others share/explore their world via the web. They will never know how important that have been for me...but from one who at first thought he was odd and alone until he discovered there were many others out there...thank you!