Monday, 26 September 2022

Say Cheese

Owner enjoys taking photographs of me and i must admit i love to pose for Her. When She first started doing these little photo shoots my 'poses' were as wooden as a plank and i would regularly forget to smile, as readers would often point out.i am trying to improve.

Yesterday, Owner treated me to another photo shoot. It was great fun to do and was made all the more special by the fact that She handed me a glass of Her freshly poured golden nectar to drink at the start, delicious! This time Owner chose a 'boudoir' themed photo shoot. It was shot at home in our lounge which meant having to move and re-position items and furniture to try and reduce some of the background clutter. Incidentally, Owner said that if any blog readers would like to assist with future shoots to get in touch. 

Anyway, at the end of the session Owner remarked that i have got better at posing. What do you think? Below are a selection of some of the shots She took.

with my fresh glass of Owner's golden nectar
why, hello there
i do like this bra
Anyway, let me know what you think.

Sunday, 25 September 2022

Sad News and Good Times

Yesterday i awoke to read the sad news about the passing of fellow blogger Sissy Kaaren. As you can tell from the list of condolence messages on Kaaren's many blogs Kaaren was someone who touched many hearts writing about life as a feminine submissive to Mrs K. Kaaren was a regular commenter on this blog and we exchanged the occasional email but never actually got to meet. Nevertheless, i along with some other bloggers that Kaaren followed, would occasionally find myself 'starring' in one of the many little stories or scenes Kaaren wrote about. 

Kaaren's writing about married life with Mrs K, and the many things they got up to over the years gave a marvelous insight into their relationship and, i am sure, helped many readers struggling to come to terms with their own sissy nature. Kaaren was also very funny and had a keen eye for the absurd. More recently Mrs K began to make her own brief appearances in Kaaren's blogs authoring posts herself but for the most part the blogs were full of Kaaren's thoughts and fantasies. That is until Kaaren became ill and Mrs K took over to provide Kaaren's many loyal readers with updates on Kaaren's progress. Just as she did to relay the sad news of Kaaren's passing. i, along with many others, will miss Kaaren and my condolences go to the loved ones Kaaren left behind, Mrs K especially.

On a happier note. Owner and i ended up unexpectedly getting a little drunk in a local pub before heading to a restaurant for pizza yesterday. We had only meant to go out for a walk around a local park, an opportunity for me to stretch my legs after having been chained and caged at Owners feet for about an hour after completing all my chores for the day.

On the way back from the walk Owner suggested that we stop for a drink and, well one led to another, then another and another and before you know it we were both a little tipsy and engaged in our favourite activity, namely gossiping and commenting about others in the bar. There was an engagement party in full-swing which gave us plenty of outfits for us to pass judgement on. What the other drinkers made of me in my pink collar etc is another matter!

me in the pub

Mind you, none of the other drinkers would have known that not only was i wearing a bra (which was obvious) but that my titties were also adorned with a set of weighted plastic cherries affixed to the ends of the chain that hangs between my tits, tugging deliciously on my nipples. The photos below, obviously not taken in the pub, show off my cherries

the cherries that hang from my nipple chain

tugging gently on my nipple
It was not just my nipples that were colourful. My butt cheeks were still a little pink from the caning they received after work on Friday as part of my regular weekly disciplining. Owner coloured my bottom and the backs of my thighs nicely by striking me hard and repeatedly.

painted bottom and thighs

Meanwhile, earlier in the week Owner instructed me to wear a corset for work, which i gladly did. You can see me in my outfit below.

Corset on
and fully dressed

Today i have been busy cooking and cleaning. However, at one point i found myself with nothing to do and, with no further requests from Owner, i chained and locked myself up into my cage as i am now expected to do. Before doing so, however, i made one small change. i have noticed that when i am chained up in my cage i get quite fidgety and move about quite a bit, trying different positions etc. Owner hates noise and i know that my moving, and the consequent clanking of my chains was not acceptable. i needed to try and train myself to remain still and learn to be able to hold myself on all fours for an extended period of time. To help accomplish this i, perhaps counter-intuitively, attached a small cow-bell that Owner and i bought on a past trip to Switzerland to the leather collar i wear when caged. The slightest movement on my part sets the cow-bell off making it an ideal training aid to learn to be still. Today i was able to remain in position on all fours for much longer thanks to having the cow bell in place to dissuade me from moving. i did still need to make some small movements to maintain circulation in my limbs but learnt to do these very slowly to avoid triggering the bell.

This afternoon, Owner also had me posing for a photoshoot. i will post some pictures from this in my next blog post

Finally, i am pleased to report that as week two of Owner's new regime draws to a close i am continuing to perform well. i have been studying Spanish everyday, kept on top of my chores and undertaken some additional ones too and have got into the habit of chaining myself in my cage when i am not needed and my tasks are done. i have also adjusted to my reduced time online and have found it has freed me up to do other, more useful activities at home. It is still early days as Owner keeps reminding me but i am pleased with my progress to date.

So, farewell Sissy Kaaren and take care one and all.

Monday, 19 September 2022

A Productive Day

We have had an extra bank holiday here in the UK as a result of the death and funeral today of our late Queen. Neither Owner nor i are monarchists and so we have no real interest in the events, but made full use of the extra day off work.

My day began as it usually does with preparing breakfast for Owner followed by studying some Spanish and completing my exercises at the end of my allotted period of being allowed to use the computer. Last night i needed to make a mobile phone call outside of my allocated hours (remembering my phone and computer usage is now heavily restricted to specific hours only) which She had granted but it also meant that i spent an hour today gagged and silenced this morning as a 'thank you'.

i love the 'approved' stamp Owner created in response to my MS Forms submitted request

Later in the morning, after showering and getting dressed, i started to prepare a roast dinner for lunch. Whilst that was cooking i cleaned the bathroom and then after serving lunch and washing and drying the dishes i spent time cleaning the flat windows inside and out. Quite what the neighbours made of me leaning out the window in my stockings and skirt who knows!

With all my tasks done i asked Owner if there was anything else She needed doing? She was doing some of Her translation studies (Owner is super clever when it comes to languages). She replied that there was nothing She needed from me and so i spent the next hour chained up at Her feet in my under-desk cage. i was naked apart from just having me stockings and bra on and had to remain perfectly still as the heavy chains that are attached to my ankles, chastity device, and collar make quite a noise with the slightest movement on my part and Owner hates noise. i gradually am learning how to stay still when i am locked up like this. i am also gagged to completely silence me.

Owner remarked later how much She likes having a 'pet' at Her feet. i confess that being locked like this is something i also find quite wonderful and i now look forward to kneeling or curling into position. It makes me feel loved and secure and also quite aroused as i lie there imaging Owner reaching down and groping my exposed pussy.  She didn't but it was a very distracting thought!

When Owner had completed Her work she invited me to spend some time with Her on the sofa after which i did a little burlesque/strip-tease show for Her. Owner kindly complimented me on my choice of outfit and routine, noting that She thinks i have got better with practice. i did my routine to the Christina Aguilera song Nasty Naughty Boy

This is me ready to begin

And then here are some excerpts from my 'performance' that Owner filmed

It was great fun to do and i look forward to doing another show for Owner in the not too distant future. i would one day love to take some strip-tease or burlesque classes and perform for Her on a real stage. It would be terrifying but thrilling at the same time. i have been on the stage in front of Her (and many others) at a cosplay event but to do so at a strip club or similar venue would be even more fun.

Anyway, back to today. i suspect that i will spend some of my evening locked-up again in my cage (i am typing this during my allotted evening computer usage period of 5-7pm). Then before bed i have been tasked with practising deep-throating a dildo for a bit, it is one of those things that i think gets easier with regular practice, especially over-coming the gag reflex.

Meanwhile, Owner and i have now completed the first week of me in Her new regime. So far it has gone very well. i have studied daily and am making much better use of my free time. i also really welcome the fact that She has further increased Her control over me. That's all from me for now. Take care.

Friday, 16 September 2022

Dice Day and Other Updates

The 16th of the month is generally a big day in my calendar as it is often the day when Owners' chastity dice are rolled to determine whether or not i should be locked and for how long. It is also the day when i get to complete an outdoor challenge each month. So how did the day fare?

Well chastity-wise the news is that i am to remain locked 24/7 until the 16th December i.e. for the next three months. The dice will then be rolled again to see whether or not i might be unlocked. Meanwhile, the challenge dice determined that i was to pose next to the bus stop wearing shorts and trainers - which is, on the face of it, a very easy challenge.

To make it a bit more 'interesting' and to push myself a bit further i wore a pair of little grey shorts, which fail completely to conceal my clit bells which dangled between my legs, and my wedge trainers with knee-high stockings. It was quite a naughty 'thrill' to walk down our street with my bells from my clit hanging and tinkling freely beneath my shorts, wondering who i might see, or who might see me. There were some people about and traffic passing but, being a slut, i did not care and happily walked then posed in my little shorts and bells. Here are a couple of pictures of how i got on.

street slut
my clit bells dangling between my legs

Owner was pleased with how i did but questioned why i should still be allowed to do such challenges as i clearly enjoy myself too much. It is true that i have come to enjoy them as i like to show that i am a slut and to push myself to be a bit more daring/a bit more exhibitionist. Personally, i would love to do some 'naughtier' challenges that push me out of my comfort zone, but in the meantime i have come to really look forward to having to do something each month which still makes me nervous, even though i do enjoy myself. i also never quite know what the nature of the challenge might be, some are more 'challenging' than others. It is obviously for Owner to decide whether these outdoor challenges continue or not, i hope they do as i do enjoy pushing myself to show what a shameless slut i am and think there is scope to still be pushed further.

In other news, my usual weekly challenges and punishments continue. As mentioned in my last post i started the week having to stand silently in the corner for half an hour inhaling Owners' used panties. Then on Thursday She took me for a walk around our local park with me wearing a large heavy metal butt plug in my pussy before having me do twenty squats with my pussy plugged. She videoed some of it, how's my technique?

Today i was allowed out unaccompanied to visit the hairdresser. As a small 'punishment' i was required to walk to the salon with a silver 'SEXY' hairgrip in my hair.

On returning from the hairdressers Owner caned me on the bottom and then on my breasts as part of my weekly disciplining. This was my bottom after the caning

reddening cheeks and backs of thighs

In return for my caning i gave Owner a back massage as a 'thank you'.

Last, i am pleased to report that so far, and i am only five days into it, the new daily routine that Owner has introduced for me is going well. i am finding that with my access to the internet restricted to just the hours of 6-8am and 5-7pm i am getting more household etc activities done. i am also studying Spanish everyday and have got into the routine of, when my work or chores etc are completed, being locked into my under-desk 'cage' until summoned by Owner to join Her. Owner has ordered some additional chains so that, when the bondage mittens She has ordered for me arrive these too can be secured, as too could my chastised clit.  These would be in addition to the existing chains for my neck collar and ankle cuffs, meaning i would be totally physically restrained. We are both enjoying this new level of 'control' Owner has over me and i think it is positively affecting my attitude and performance.

Oh, and one final, final thing. i will be updating the 'Rules and Routines Which i Live By' page as it has got a little dated and no longer accurately reflects how Owner and i live. So i will be updating that too.

Take care all.

Tuesday, 13 September 2022

'Home' Sweet Home

As Owner tightens Her requirements of me in terms of my behaviour and my level of freedom i am really excited to say that She will now also be incorporating an entirely new element of control over me. From this point onwards, apart from when i am working, doing my chores/studies etc and am not required by Owner to be at Her side, i will be locked up in an under-desk 'cage'.

The 'cage' in question is actual one of the two work-desks in our lounge that also doubles as a dining table. It is where i typically sit and write these blogs. The desk to the side of it is where Owner works from home from and relaxes on the internet (i am relegated to Her bedroom when i work from home). Owner has created a special 'cage' for me using my desk (which is adjacent to Hers). She ordered a pink cushioned dog mat for the base of my 'cage' and then ordered some heavy metal chains with which to secure me to the frame of the desk. The chains are attached to a leather collar and ankle cuffs which are secured in place on me. There are hooks under the desk from which are suspended my gag and nipple clamps, with scope to add other items that Owner would like to have close at hand next to me when i am locked-up. 

Even more exciting is that Owner has ordered me a pair of cute lockable bondage mittens and a matching mouth gag as a present for me for our forthcoming anniversary.

So, this is where i am going to start spending quite a bit of time. i am truly excited at the prospect of being locked up like this, especially as Owner can have me locked up right next to Her whilst She works or studies or relaxes on-line etc. She is also very excited by the possibilities this creates. It promises to add another level of control into my life, one that i am extremely grateful for. You can see the 'cage' etc below

my new under-desk 'cage' - i will be spending a lot of time here in future
in my cage with a bonus view of Owners' foot!
locked on my dog blanket under the desk
gagged and chained to the desk

my new 'home from home' :)

Meanwhile, although it is only day two my new home regime has got off to a good start. i have realised how much time i have to do more useful and productive things now that i am only allowed online between 6-8am and 5-7pm. i have also been studying Spanish.

Last night Owner had me standing in the corner for 30 minutes sniffing Her knickers before allowing me to join Her on the sofa to watch House of the Dragon. She has also permitted me to leave the house this Friday to get a haircut. Ironically, i am trying to grow my hair long now after many years of having short hair - i would like to get it long enough to be able to tie into a ponytail as i was once able to in the past. My 'punishment' for being allowed out to the hairdressers is that i will need to walk there with a bow or a pretty hair grip in my hair.

Anyway, back to the under-desk cage. i really am excited at the prospect of being physically locked down when not working,studying,doing housework or needed by Owner. It is going to add a whole new dimension to our relationship and Owners' control over me and my submission to Her. Exciting times!!

Monday, 12 September 2022

100 Days of Denial and a Bit of Bling

Today marks a double milestone. First, it is the start of my new indoor regime, see my previous post. It is also my one hundredth day since my last orgasm. Reducing and controlling my ability to orgasm has been an area of increased importance to both Owner and myself over the past few years. 

So far this year i have actually had more releases than in previous years (four - two of which were ruined) all of which were in the first part of the year. However, i am delighted to say that the past one hundred days have been orgasm free, something i hope continues to be the case for the remainder of this year and into the next. i have written before that the longer i go without an orgasm the hornier i start to feel and the better behaved and more focused i am. This continues to be the case. When i become like this i find it difficult not to keep touching and caressing my tits, they quickly stiffen and i get very, very aroused.  Hence why i often find myself absentmindedly caressing them. Wearing a bra helps to minimise this and stops me from getting too distracted although even then i will often lift my bra during the day just to be able to touch myself there. i cannot emphasise enough how much i love the sensation of my titties being touched and caressed, it sends me straight to mega-slut overdrive and there is probably little or nothing i wouldn't readily agree to whilst my nipples are being played with!

Note that i said that when i am horny i caress my tits. i don't ever touch my clit. Even during this past one hundred days when Owner has had me unlocked as often as i am locked i still do not ever caress my clit.This is something only Owner ever does. She will sometimes touch and fondle it and of course when She does it feels very nice. However, over the years i have evolved to a point where i have totally stopped masturbating or attempting to masturbate my clit, whether in chastity or not. The only time i ever touch my clit, unless instructed to by Owner, is to clean it. Apart from that it is totally ignored. Of course, chastity helps but even then my clit still gets taken out regularly for cleaning which i do with a stiff nail brush, just to make sure i don't accidentally pleasure myself.  The only bits of me that ever get my attention these days are my nipples which, as i have said, i love to touch and caress when i am feeling horny, which i often am, and which then tends to tip me into mega-slut mode when i do touch or caress them. Touching them really is almost like a super power! Oh, and of course my pussy is always hungry to be stuffed and stretched wide, it loves that!

i think that if Owner was ever to say to me that i was no longer permitted to ever orgasm or if the weeks and months and then years were to pass with me never climaxing again, i think i could just about manage. But only if i was able to keep caressing and touching my titties. Being denied access to my titties and my clit would be something that i think i would find incredibly difficult to do. i have said in the past that i would be willing to spend the rest of my life denied permission to ever orgasm again, but i would find it very hard to also be banned from caressing my tits.

Talking of tits. They are now newly accessorised. i have re-purposed an ankle chain that broke and turned it into a little nipple chain. i think it looks very pretty. i think it goes well with my belly chain and the bells that are now permanently hanging from my clit (caged or not). i would one day love to have my scrotum pierced so that my bells could be suspended from a piercing rather than be attached to a chain around the base of my clit. Whether or not Owner would ever permit that, however, i don't know.

Anyway, here i am with all my metal and body jewellery (minus my earrings which are out of shot)

Sunday, 11 September 2022

A Tightening Screw

Control and the continued ceding of control over me to Her has long been a cornerstone of the relationship between Owner and i. As the dominant person in our relationship Owner controls many, many aspects of my life and of our lives together. As Her submissive housewife and sex toy it is my place to serve and submit to Her, to make Her life as comfortable as possible, to be by Her side and to do all i can to make myself the best wife i can be for Her. i admit that i still have a long way to go in this regard. At best i might be described as being still very much a work in progress, but i continue to try to improve and become the best submissive housewife to Owner that i can be. The control Owner exercises over me helps me to grow and become the person i strive to be and that Owner deserves. 

i do not resent Her control, i welcome and embrace it. In fact, i want for nothing more than to feel and experience Her absolute control over me, to submit to Her completely. i am extremely lucky in that Owner has long accepted me as Her subordinate, someone to dominate and control and She has displayed great wisdom and skill in strengthening Her control over me and, consequentially, my submission to Her. This did not happen overnight but has instead been the result of an ongoing project. It first began when She seduced and then moved in with me and has gradually accelerated over the following, nearly seventeen, years that we have been together, four and a half of which i have lived as Her legally wedded wife. 

For me, each step on my journey of submission to Owner has been a joy. It has awakened in me a desire to be controlled and dominated further by Her and, as my submission and Her control has strengthened and deepened it has created a bond between us the like of which i could never have imagined possible. What was once idle fantasy has become our daily lived reality and with the passing of time so that lived submission and control has grown in intensity. Yet to me ours is a relationship that feels completely normal. In no way do i or have i ever felt coerced or made to give up my autonomy against my will. Instead, it has felt like a homecoming, like i am finally living the life i am, by my nature, meant to live. A life of surrender to my Owner and control by Her. i have come to learn and appreciate that she truly does know what is best for me and to allow myself to be shaped, moulded and controlled by Her. By giving myself completely to Her i in turn can learn to better serve and submit to Her.

But for us this has not happened overnight. It has been a long, long journey and one which, i hope, still has many more developments in store. Owner and i sometimes joke that we cannot remember what our lives were like before we met and cannot imagine ever going back to living how we did before we knew each other. i for one cannot envisage a life without Her, not simply with Her at the centre of it but of Her controlling all the many aspects of my life that She does. Put simply, i live to be dominated and controlled by Her and the more She does so the happier and more fulfilled i become. Yes sometimes i might still kick back, try to resist but i have come to realise over these years is that although it might not always be easy, what i really, truly want is to be completely dominated by Her. 

For Her part Owner likes to control and dominate me. The longer we have been together the more apparent that has become. Initially i think She held back a little but with time it Her natural dominance blossomed. She stopped trying to be the person She at first thought a dominant woman should look or act like and instead grew into the dominant woman She wanted to become. A unique, strong and beautiful soul. She set about training me and shaping me to make Her own life and my life better through my service and submission to Her and Her control over me.

Owners' control over me takes many forms, some obvious others not. It is more than just sexual in nature. True, one of the first ways Her desire to control me manifested itself was Her insistence that under no circumstances was i to initiate sex with Her. My purpose in bed, as explained by Her to me, was to be Her human sex toy, an object from whom She might extract Her own pleasure at places and times of Her choosing, not mine. It quickly became clear that my penis was surplus to Her requirements. Having no purpose for penetration it was re-branded by Her as my 'clit' and has not been permitted inside Her for a dozen or so years. Whether locked in chastity or not (and She does still like to poke and torment it) my clit has become pointless and redundant. A visible reminder of how much control She now exercises over me and how much i, in turn, embrace and welcome my submission to Her.

Sex and my clit aside Owner controls my daily life in many other ways. She decides what i may or may not have. i am not permitted to make purchases for myself without Her approval. My salary is paid into a joint account (to cover bills etc) from which i receive an allowance of £100 a month. When we go to restaurants Owner chooses what i can eat. Her permission is required before i can post on social media and, if Her permission is forthcoming, She must still approve the content before i post. Owner decides how Her home is run, how it is decorated, where we will go on holiday, what chores i need to do. She does still discuss things with me, asks me for my opinion, will even sometimes let me choose what to watch on TV. However, for the most part it is Her that decides and that, to me, feels exactly as it should be. 

Then there are the countless other little signs of Her control over me. When She says 'tea' She gets a fresh cup of tea, when She says 'water' Her glass is re-filled, 'toenails' and She gets a pedicure. 'hair' and Hers gets done, 'massage' and out comes the oil and lotion and so on. i strive to be attentive to Her needs, to care and look after Her. It is not, however, all one way traffic. When i am unwell Owner takes care of me until i am well enough to return back to my duties and serve Her. She also regularly canes, spanks or beats me, has me clamped, stands me in a corner, sometimes uses me as Her footstool or has me eat from my bowl on the floor, drink Her urine and many other things, including having me permanently marked with symbols of Her authority and control over me. All these things i love to do for Her. if anything i would love for Her to strike me harder, be stricter with me and treat me more harshly so that i might continue to grow and develop in my submission to Her and that She in turn might further extend and exercise Her domination and control over me. i would never have imagined how happy being treated like this could make me feel but it truly is the case that the more i am dominated and controlled by Her the happier i become.

i am, therefore, truly blessed by the fact Owner continues to tighten or strengthen Her control over me. She still finds new ways to exert Her authority and further reduce my ability and opportunity to act or behave autonomously. Two recent developments illustrate this wonderfully. The first of these occurred a month or so ago and saw Owner initiate a new level of control over me. The second is about to start next week.

The first such development is the fact that now, with the exception of when i need to leave Her flat for work purposes or to run errands for Her e.g. to do the shopping,  i am now required to formally seek Owner's permission in writing in order to leave the flat unescorted by Her. For example, if i want to meet friends or family on my own, or do something without Her i now need Her consent. On such occasions i now have to submit a written request stating where, when, why and who i will be meeting and volunteer a punishment to receive in return for being allowed out Her flat by Owner.  When i am allowed out i make sure i am not out for long and that Owner knows where i am and who i am with. Conversely, not that this happens often but i like waiting up for Owner when She goes out. i like when She messages to say that She and Her friends have finished their meal and have gone for drinks. i like not knowing when She will message to say that She is on Her way home so that i might meet Her at the station and carry Her bag for Her whilst She tells me about Her evening. i love the times when She is out enjoying Herself and i am left waiting for Her at home. It feels right that i am at home and She is not.

As Her submissive wife i know that it is important that i spend my time at home where i belong as much as is practicable. i therefore agree that i should only be allowed out unescorted by Her with my Owners' prior permission and that it is right that i be punished in return for the privilege of being allowed out without Her. Owner would, of course, also be perfectly entitled to refuse any requests submitted by me. Any such a refusal on Her part would, in turn, be a powerful reminder to me that i belong to Owner and must do as i am told by Her. Now, had you said to me twenty years ago that i would be at my happiest in a relationship where i had to seek permission to leave the house unescorted other than to go to the shops or to work i would have thought you mad. But here i am and I have never been happier. One of the things i will look forward to when i eventually retire (assuming that one day i am able to) is that i will have one less excuse to be allowed out without Her.

This 'outdoor' rule was only introduced quite recently and within a matter of weeks of it being introduced i became quite unwell with Covid and so was housebound anyway. However, there have been two occasions to date when i have sought permission to leave home unescorted. Both requests were graciously granted by Owner and i was punished accordingly for the privilege. i really welcome this new requirement. It is a clear extension of Owner's control over me and it reinforces my status as Her submissive housewife. It is a powerful reminder that, my place is at home. As my Owner i know She would be fully justified in refusing me permission to leave Her house.

This new 'outdoor' rule felt like quite a significant development in its own right. However, i am really excited to report that Owner is about to combine it with a new 'indoor' requirement as well. Left to my own devices i am prone to becoming lazy and unfocused. Time that i should be spending doing housework, studying Spanish or just generally developing my skills and abilities as Her housewife gets frittered away online etc. Things reached a head just before i became ill when Owner warned me that the situation had become unacceptable and that things would have to change. However, the implementation of the change was then delayed due to my ill-health. Now that i am fully recovered, however, Owner is starting to put Her new 'indoor' plans into action.

The first substantive change She is introducing is that, starting next week, my access to the internet is to be severely curtailed. In future i will only be allowed to go online between the hours of 6-8am and 5-7pm Mondays-Sundays. Outside of these hours i must unplug and put my laptop away and handover my mobile phone to Owner (unless i am out of the house of course). Secondly, again starting next week, i am to study Spanish daily for a minimum of fifteen minutes per day and keep a record of what i have studied. Thirdly, i will only be allowed to watch TV with Owner once i have completed my chores and studies for that day and then only from 9pm onwards, not before. Just as if i want to leave the flat unescorted i must now submit a formal request to Owner in future if I wish to use the internet outside the allotted hours or use my mobile to make a phone call outside these hours or request that i be allowed to postpone that days chores for a particular reason then, once again, i need to seek Owners permission in writing.

The above is all intended to reduce the amount of time that i waste when i could instead be studying or doing housework or other chores. Again, this represents a further extension of Owner's control over me and is one that i greatly welcome. i know that i need to be more focused and learn to be a better and more productive wife for Her and i think this new indoor rule will greatly help with my development.

However, this is not the only change Owner is introducing. To complement the above 'indoor' rules Owner is also revamping my performance reviews. At present She gives me a daily score out of 5 which then gets averaged each month to monitor my behaviour. She has now devised an online assessment (using Microsoft Forms) against which my performance will be scored by Her against a set of fixed criteria. This should result in a more objective and thorough assessment of my performance. Rather than daily this assessment will happen on a weekly basis. Previously my performance score did not result in any consequences for me i.e. i was not punished etc for a low score. Owner has informed me that this will change.

Finally, Owner is actively considering other ways in which She might further extend Her control over me. This includes the possible use of a dog cage for me i.e. something to lock me up inside of, amongst other possible developments. It feels like exciting new chapter in the evolution of our relationship may be beginning. i just hope that i live up to Her expectations. Thank you Owner for controlling me as you do, i am truly the luckiest and happiest person alive.

Tuesday, 6 September 2022

12 Days Later

i am delighted to say that after 12 interminable days of testing positive for Covid-19 this morning i finally tested negative, yippeee! i also feel so much better. i am no longer constantly exhausted and just lying about in bed being waited on by Owner. 

She has been amazing. She has made all my meals, done all the housework and the shopping and insisted throughout that i not lift a finger. She even sacrificed Her bedroom and moved into the spare room with its sofa bed whilst i wallowed about in our large four-poster. Remarkably, She managed not to catch the dreaded contagion from me although that did mean us trying to stay strictly segregated from each other in our little one and a bit bedroom flat. i took all my meals in the bedroom whilst She sat in the lounge and spoke to me across the open space of the corridor that separates both rooms. Tonight for the first time in almost two weeks i will actually be able to snuggle up against Her in bed again. That has been the worst part, not being able to touch Her or be close to Her.

As for me, i was actually not that well at all and this is despite the fact that i have had three vaccines to date. So anyone that says that Covid is no longer a risk is lying. It still is and it can still be pretty unpleasant even if you have been vaccinated. So please, pretty please, if you have not had a jab get one.

Anyway, back to today. In a sign that i am feeling better than i have been this morning i changed all the bedding and wiped down and disinfected the bedroom from top to bottom in preparation for Owner returning to sleep in here tonight with me. It has been horrible watching Her working so hard to take care of me and look after the flat when it should be me looking after Her and doing all the household chores etc. Hopefully normal service can now be resumed.

Owner has indicated that my performance review, postponed due to my illness, will now take place this weekend. i am really pleased by that and have made some suggestions to Her for ways in which Her control over me might also be further deepened which i hope She might consider. i also hope that She considers me now well enough to be caned or spanked etc again. This is also something that got put on hold due to my illness but i know i benefit from being beaten and it is also something that Owner Herself enjoys to do. It will be great for us both to re-start.

Anyway, that is about all from me for now. Take care all.

me this morning

Thursday, 1 September 2022

Covid Strikes

Well, i suppose it had to happen eventually. Two days after Owner and i returned from Spain i tested positive for Covid. That was on Thursday last week and i have been in bed ever since feeling pretty lousy. It is surprising that even after 3 injections the virus still has the ability to knock you out quite the way it has done. Thankfully, Owner has remained negative.

i feel guilty as Owner has had to step in and take care of me, bringing me all my meals and generally nursing me when it really should be me looking after Her. i am ever so grateful to Her for having cared for me as lovingly as She has, i could not ask for better.

My being laid up has meant that the review She had planned of my behaviour and performance at home has had to go on hold. i hope that i might be well enough this weekend to receive Her instructions. i hope so as i know it is needed and the longer time passes the more i 'fret' about it.

In the meantime, there is nothing really to report as i have spent 90% of most days looking something like this

Day 1 = feeling lousy
Day 3 - feeling really lousy
Today - feeling a lot better but still dizzy when i stand up

i tested myself this morning again and still have two thick lines on the test kit so i am still pretty contagious but hopefully am now over the worst.  Now i just feel tired and dizzy when i stand up - so i am still lying down a lot!

On Thursday, the day i tested positive, we had a supermarket grocery delivery arrive that evening. i staggered downstairs with my mask on to collect the order and told the delivery man to stand well back as i had Covid. Despite that he very sweetly offered to carry our groceries inside for us. But i declined his kind offer and staggered up and down the stairs. i must, however, have been quite feverish at that point as it was only later that it dawned on my addled brain that the reason he might have given me a funny look was not because of the face mask that i was wearing but that apart from that all i had on was a hot pink t-shirt that barely covered my butt cheeks with the words 'passion fruit' written across my chest, my bra and a pair of crotchless Victoria's Secret knickers below which hung the silver bells that hang permanently suspended from my clit and which must have been both visible and audible! As i say, i must have been quite feverish to have answered the door dressed as such a wanton slut. Oh,

Hopefully, my next post will be a little more interesting but i just wanted to keep you updated in case you were wondering why i had not given any update about the review Owner had informed me about. It has been delayed but it will be coming.

Thursday, 18 August 2022

An Important Intervention

Owner and i are going away for a few days to stay with Her family. However, last night Owner put me on notice that She wanted and expected things to change when we get back. She pointed out that i have, of late, been focusing more on things that i like to do whereas what i should of course be doing is meeting Her needs. i have also been allowing myself to get distracted when there are things at home i should be doing.

i felt suitably shame-faced and today write Her a full apology. In it i also proposed to Her some ideas about how i could change what i do with my 'free' time at home in order that it is used more productively. i will update on our return but Owner is right to have chastised me as She did and i am at fault for having allowed myself to lose my focus, which should be on what She wants and expects from me.

One example of how i get distracted, and how this impacts my performance, is that i had started to watch live Youtube video feeds of the of the renewed volcanic eruption in Iceland. Last night Owner had me write one hundred lines about my need to secure Her approval to watch this. The photo below is a sample of the lines i wrote

page 1 of 3 of the lines that i wrote last night

Today before dinner i was given a further reminder of Owner's authority when She caned my breasts and pierced nipples and then secured my legs legs so that they were spread apart and spanked the exposed dangly bits of my little caged clitty using Her heavy, solid-metal, ball-buster. She remarked to me afterwards that She could 'tell that I did not enjoy that' - i didn't, it hurt, but then that is precisely the point. i am grateful to Her for having hurt me.

i will update when i can with whatever changes Owner has in mind for me and can only repeat my apology to Her for having allowed myself to become self-centred when all my attention should be focused on Her, and what She wants.