Today marks 365 days since my last orgasm of any sort i.e. full or ruined. Whoop, whoop - go me! 🙌🎉🎉
Yep, Monday the 5th of May 2025 was the last time my little clit made an unfortunate mess. It was a Bank Holiday and Owner instructed me to 'cum like a slut' as i masturbated whilst greedily gagging on Her 'cock'. You can read all about it in this blog post recounting the day here. Twelve months later and my little labia plums remain un-emptied. i truly hope that i am kept in this state of denial for the rest of my life.
i have, as always, my Owner to thank. i am so incredibly grateful to Her for keeping me in this most wonderful denied state, one that feels so appropriate for Her submissive slut and wife. Thank you Owner for these past 12 months of denial - you are the best!
i know that to some readers the idea of being grateful for not being permitted to cum will sound a little strange perhaps extreme even, i also know there are other readers that similarly long to be kept orgasm free by their owners (you know who you are!)
Being kept in this state of long-term denial does not mean i am no longer interested in sex, quite the opposite! It keeps me in state of semi-permanent but frustrated arousal and desire. Exactly how a slut should be. i crave Owners body, yearn to feel Her big fat 'cock' inside of me, love to dress sluttily in the hope of being groped and molested. The longer i stay denied the hornier i get.
However, despite such arousal i have no desire to cum or even play with myself 'down there'. Of course, being in chastity largely (not completely) removes any such possibility but when Owner and i were in Japan i was unlocked the whole time. Owner did not want the faff of having to lock and unlock me each time we took a flight (not just there and back - we had some internal flights too). Not once in that time did the thought ever occur to me to try to touch myself. i confess it did feel strange and slightly unsettling seeing my clit in the mirror - one of the things i like about being in chastity is the fact that it means i cannot see, let alone touch, my clit. i don't want rid of it, but i would rather not see it - i have a complex relationship with my clit :)
i also had the unusual experience, whilst unlocked in Japan, of waking to the feel the fabric of the bedding caress and tease my clit when it awoke free and aroused each morning. However, i simply lay still until that feeling passed. In short, even unlocked i had no desire to touch myself or be touched in a way that might trigger an accident. i would once have found the desire to masturbate irresistible, not any more. Owner has trained me to focus only on Her sexual pleasure and never cum without Her permission, now i have lost all desire to ejaculate at all.
Orgasms are intense but transitory feelings whereas denial, denial is special. It is ever present. Yes it waxes and wanes at times but it never goes. It is always there, a constant throb, an ache. a yearning and a desire. It creates a state of mind that allows your inner slut to thrive, entices it out to play, to be opened up and become a toy, an object whose sole goal and purpose (in my case) is my Owners pleasure. It makes me want to wear outfits that reveal and invite exploring, groping hands. It makes me want to spread my legs and offer myself to be penetrated and stretched. It makes being caned, whipped, spanked even electrocuted something to crave and yearn for. Denial makes me relish every fresh glass of piss Owners hands me to drink, makes me want nothing more than to plunge my tongue deep inside Her delicious anus or bury my face between Her fabulous tits (i am actually quite envious of Owners breasts!).
More practically and usefully it is this same frustrated desire that motivates me to complete my chores, strive to become a better and more obedient wife to Owner, to serve Her and become a better person in doing so. It motivates me to learn new skills, become more useful and improve my service to Owner.
Orgasm denial feels like the natural state of things for me as Owners submissive slut, human sex toy and wife. My focus is Her, my pleasure comes from Her pleasure. Now a year has passed and i want nothing more than to continue in this state of denial for ever.
However, i also know that is not for me to decide. It is Owner, not me, who will decide if and whether i will ever orgasm again. The mere fact of knowing (as She does) that i hope not to may be enough to make Her decide to force me to cum. i can only hope that She decides not to do that.
Just as it only became apparent years later what a significant year in my life 2010 was - the year i became a born-again-virgin, the year, aged 40 that my clit was allowed inside Owner for the last ever time - so too do i hope that i might one day look back to that bank holiday Monday in May 2025 and come to realise that it too was another milestone in my development. Only time will tell. All i can do is express my deepest gratitude to my wonderful Owner for having kept me orgasm free for 365 days. i love and adore you.