An Important Intervention

Owner and i are going away for a few days to stay with Her family. However, last night Owner put me on notice that She wanted and expected things to change when we get back. She pointed out that i have, of late, been focusing more on things that i like to do whereas what i should of course be doing is meeting Her needs. i have also been allowing myself to get distracted when there are things at home i should be doing.

i felt suitably shame-faced and today write Her a full apology. In it i also proposed to Her some ideas about how i could change what i do with my 'free' time at home in order that it is used more productively. i will update on our return but Owner is right to have chastised me as She did and i am at fault for having allowed myself to lose my focus, which should be on what She wants and expects from me.

One example of how i get distracted, and how this impacts my performance, is that i had started to watch live Youtube video feeds of the of the renewed volcanic eruption in Iceland. Last night Owner had me write one hundred lines about my need to secure Her approval to watch this. The photo below is a sample of the lines i wrote

page 1 of 3 of the lines that i wrote last night

Today before dinner i was given a further reminder of Owner's authority when She caned my breasts and pierced nipples and then secured my legs legs so that they were spread apart and spanked the exposed dangly bits of my little caged clitty using Her heavy, solid-metal, ball-buster. She remarked to me afterwards that She could 'tell that I did not enjoy that' - i didn't, it hurt, but then that is precisely the point. i am grateful to Her for having hurt me.

i will update when i can with whatever changes Owner has in mind for me and can only repeat my apology to Her for having allowed myself to become self-centred when all my attention should be focused on Her, and what She wants.

It Shouldn't Happen to Poppet (again), Park Exploits and an Alternative Workout

We've all done it. Sent the list of sex toys you hoped to get to your family instead of your Owner at Xmas, emailed a very NSFW short-story you were working on to a someone of the same name at work instead of yourself, ended up in A&E wearing nothing but a pink fluffy dressing gown, explaining to a bemused Italian customs officer that yes, the lacy underwear and butt plugs/dildos were yours, hiding from a group of women in a hotel corridor after getting locked out of your room dressed in a cosplay maids outfit, a cleaning lady walking in to our holiday rental just as Owner was about to mount me on the coffee table. i could go on.

All the above and more have happened to me at some point and now i have another little 'incident' to add to the list. As i mentioned in my last blog post Owner bought me a lovely pair of silver bells that dangle from my clit on a little chain. At home these hang free, just below my clit, tinkling and jangling as i walk so that i sound like a walking Christmas tree. Anyway, after work i needed to go to the supermarket to stock up on supplies. i changed out of my skirt and blouse into a t-short and shorts and tucked my 'jingle bells' into my thong.

Everything was fine until i left the supermarket and suddenly felt something cold brush the tops of my thigh and the unmistakable sound of bells tingling. Yes, my bells had escaped! My shorts are, as you might expect, quite short, meaning that the little silver bells were not only audible but also just visible, poking out of the bottom of the left leg of my shorty shorts. How i laughed.

It was perhaps for the best that it happened just as i left the store rather than in-store. i debated with myself as to what the more discrete course of action might be, leave the bells to hang free or try to push them back up into my panties in the street. i chose the former option and walked home, jingling sluttily with each footstep. Owner laughed when i got back and told Her what had happened. She has also taken to singing:

Jingle bells, jingle bells, petty (one of Her nicknames for me) is an elf!

In other news. Today is the 16th of the month and so, as is traditional on this day, breakfast saw me rolling Owners' dice to determine what outdoor challenge i would need to complete? The answer was wearing high heels and a dress to our local park. You can see the results below. As you can tell the heatwave in London has finally broken (hooray!) - you can also tell that i was also wearing my 'bells' :)

i haven't worn this particular dress for a while and i thought it went well with my leather clog-style heels and white pop socks

a slutty pose in the park with legs spread and clit bells hanging loose

There were workmen up poles in our street that i passed on route to the park

giving good bench

forgetting to smile and being passed by ladies with pushchairs

grinning with my pop socks

after two months i finally need my brolly

It was good fun to complete the challenge. Whilst i was in the park two different dogs ran over to say hello and i got to throw a ball for one of them (it had it in its mouth and dropped it at my feet). The Owner came over to apologise for her dog bothering me (it wasn't). At one point i thought she might offer to help take a picture, she had seen me posing trying to take selfies - not straight forward as i have to try and prop the phone up somewhere, set the timer then scurry back and try to remember to smiles - but she didn't.

Challenge completed i sent some pictures to Owner for Her approval, She responded by telling me what an exhibitionist i am, which of course is very, very true.

Incidentally, when i got home i changed out of my dress and back into my work attire (blouse and short skirt) but my bells remained hanging free. Half an hour later an engineer arrived to install smart energy meters in our flat. i wonder if he noticed me jingling as he followed me upstairs whilst i pointed out where our meters and fuse boxes were? :)

My life is not all accessories and selfies though, Owner also likes to see me suffer too. Take last night for example. i had to do some exercises whilst my little caged clitty was clamped with pegs and tablecloth weights. The exercises in question were Russian twists, fifty of them. This is how i got on.

heavily clamped clit

let's (Russian) twist again

That has been my week so far. Owner and i are off to see Her family this weekend which we are both looking forward to. We are also both relieved that the heatwave has finally come to an end and we have at last had some rain, we had experienced over two months without rain in London and everywhere is looking very parched as you can tell from the desiccated grass in the park pictures.

Take care all.

Clit Accessorising and Bottom Reddening

Owner surprised me today. i was writing a story on my computer when She sidled over and blindfolded me. Satisfied i could not see She then told me to stand up, reached under my skirt and removed my knickers. i remained motionless as i felt Her fiddling with my clit. At the same time i could hear the soft sound of bells jangling. When finally She was done She removed my blindfold so that i could see for myself what She had been doing.

To my surprise, a little set of silver bells were hanging suspended beneath my clit, secured in place by a small chain that She had secured around its base. The chain is thin enough to mean i can my new clit ornament whether i am locked or unlocked. With my knickers on the bells make virtually no sound as they are held, immobile nesting in the fabric. However, with my knickers off, which is how Owner prefers me to be at home, the bells hang below my bits and make a soft, audible, jangling sound.

i love them. i have a bracelet around my left wrist with a small bell attached that i wear all the time (i sometimes wonder if colleagues wonder why i have a small bell hanging from my wrist). i am excited to now have five of them suspended below my little clit. It also means that Owner can now hear me moving around inside the flat. You can see my bells in situ below.

In other news, i mentioned in my blog post yesterday that i was going to be caned by Owner as a 'payment' for having been allowed to go to the park to sunbathe. Well, i am pleased to report that i did not just receive a caning. It was combined with an end of week disciplinary spanking with her leather paddle, She also used Her riding crop against my nipple for good measure too. My bottom was a little rosy afterwards.

24/7 Female-Led/Femdom Reality vs Fantasy

Earlier this week i was lying on the floor in our lounge, knees bent, legs spread inserting a freshly fellated dildo into my pussy under Owner's watchful gaze. She had me fuck myself at Her feet like that for ten minutes (She timed me) whilst She read stuff on Her phone. As i lay there, thrusting the fake cock deep inside of me, taking it out to fellate it some more and then pushing back inside again as She remained disinterestedly focused on Her phone, a thought occurred to me. The thought was this. How lucky, how incredibly lucky i am that this passes for a kind of normal thing to do in Owner's home. 

Sometimes i get clamped, quite often i am caned and spanked, there are days when i will get sent outside to complete a challenge, all my meals are served in a dog bowl (sometimes it is placed on the floor), i often get to drink Owners golden nectar, occasionally i get to lick out Her anus. i have daily tasks and chores and once in a blue moon i might be made to cum. All of these i will generally write about and set down in this blog.

However, are these, my everyday lived experience of life in Female-led/Femdon relationship? Well yes and no. Somethings are constant, have become everyday examples of my submission to Owner, of Her control over me. The chores i do, the decisions i no longer make and that She makes for me, the routines i follow and so on. But my day, our life together is made-up of many, many more moments that rarely ever get set down on a page. Many are mundane. Cuddling as we watch a TV series together. Sharing ideas about things we might do together, although of course She ultimately decides. Then there is work, much of which is still done from home. Brief catch-ups between zoom meetings and deadlines.

Then there are the small dramas. The elderly father (mine) who needs help re-housing, the family bust-ups and reconciliations, the home improvement works, the boiler breakdowns and water leaks. The periods of personal crisis and ill-health. The acute anxiety Owner went through that saw her unable to work for a while. The time my back left me unable to walk for a few months. The years of struggle Owner has had with hormonal migraines, then the menopause, a frozen shoulder and worsening migraines that at times leave Her barely able to function.

All of these are just as much a part of our life together, of our shared experiences as Dominant and submissive, Mistress and housewife, Owner and Her whore. i tend not to write much or ever about them. But they too define who we are, have shaped us on this wonderful journey. And yes, it is a journey. New things get added, some things we once did fall into disuse. We grow, we change.

The most wonderful thing though is that each day, each week, each month and each year feels as fresh and exciting and full of joy and anticipation and desire as it did when we first got together. In fact, even more so. Our path, our journey has worked for us, it might not work for others. 

Owner is not a leather-clad, whip wielding sadist who rules over me with a rod of iron. For one thing She is someone who feels most comfortable in tracksuit bottoms and a hoodie. The only one in Her household who ever wears stockings, skirts and heels is me. When She canes me or spanks me She's usually in trainers or slippers. She also loves me deeply and it took a while for Her to Herself become comfortable with the idea of beating or caning me. Over time, She has come to enjoy if greatly, far more than me!

She controls me in many different ways, and she just instituted a new requirement that, apart from when i need to leave for work or get provisions from the shops, i need to submit a formal request in writing to Her asking permission to be allowed out the house unaccompanied by Her. To this end She asked me to create a form (She will often get me to come up with suggestions for Her), which i did and which was first used today when i sought permission to go and sunbathe in the park in the sun. i have copied the form below in case anyone is interested. To me it is a natural progression of the existing control She exerts over my life.

me in the park wearing my bunny-ear sunhat that Owner required i took after submitting my form to Her for approval to go unaccompanied

And the new blank form that i must fill in and submit to Her and get approved before i can go out the flat unaccompanied, unless for work or to go shopping for provisions.

And, yes. Tonight She will beat me and then cane me too as 'payment' for having been allowed to sunbathe at lunchtime. But then later, when chores etc have been done we will cuddle and watch TV and laugh and joke and chat and do all the things other couples do. And that is just as much a part of the reality of our relationship together as any of the other things i post on here.

No Pain No Gain

Well, after a lovely weekend which, amongst other things, saw Owner and i unexpectedly spending Saturday afternoon ensconced in a local bar downing rum and cokes (for Her) and cider (for me), the week itself started somewhat painfully. Monday saw me required to wear nipple clamps after work for a full hour. The first thirty minutes of wear were fine and i was able to merrily go about my chores. The last five minutes were very painful but removing them after the hour was up was the most painful part.

i am not a pain slut but have learnt to tolerate and process pain and discomfort better than i once did. Owner for Her part often describes me as being 'fluffy' and has, for many years now, incorporated pain and discomfort into my training and development. Clamping and hanging weights from my nipples has also, again over time, helped make them a bit bigger and more sensitive (getting them pierced helped with that too) and Owner will sometimes compliment me on the size of my nipples, which is always lovely to hear. i'd love to have super-elongated ones but that, as they say, is another story.

But anyway, back to Monday and this is how my nipples spent an hour after work

Nipples clamped

i was set a completely different task by Owner on Wednesday, namely to spend time in work meetings (via zoom) naked from the waist down. Cometh the hour cometh the slut, as they say

hello caged clitty

Meanwhile, the day before saw me referred as a 'lady' by a stranger. We are having work done on our building which has meant that it got covered in scaffolding on Tuesday. The woman who was overseeing the scaffolders was talking to me and our downstairs neighbour. i was dressed as i always am when working from home in a blouse, skirt, stockings and bra with my make-up on. She then referred to me as 'the lady from the flat upstairs' when she was giving an instruction to one of the scaffolders - which was an unexpected surprise.

Fast forward to today (Friday) and i was to be found, once again, sunbathing over my lunch break in our local park 

me on my lunch break in the park

On seeing me about to head out Owner asked where my note was requesting permission to go outside? Now this is not something that has ever been required but on thinking about it i think it could be a good idea and another potential way in which She could extend Her control over me i.e.by me having to secure approval from Her to leave the house (apart from for work i guess). i hope it is something She considers implementing as it would help to reinforce my status as Her housewife (with an emphasis on the 'house' bit).

And now back to pain. My week started with my nipples being tortured and that is also how it ended. But it was not just my nipples that suffered, so too did my 'labia' bits and my bottom. The cause? i was caned hard and repeatedly on my backside whilst at the same time my 'labia' had 20 mini-clothes pegs attached to then and my nipples were clamped. It was a painful but welcome way to end the week

clamped and ready to be caned

freshly caned bottom and thighs

Owners' instrument of choice parked between my cheeks