Happy Halloween to all of our lovely blog readers! Owner bought me a wonderful cheerleader costume and took me outside after work to photograph Her zombie cheerleader slut. As you can see we had great fun, despite the rain.
Oh, and then there was this picture of Owner and i taken a few weeks back for our anniversary visit to the dungeon which also makes for a great Halloween picture
This is the second half of the virtual interview conducted with snooping sissy. You can read the first part here (which includes my Owners first ever published comments on this blog). In this second part i answer
Owner and i would both like to thank snooping sissy for the thought they clearly put into the questions provided and for making the interview process an enjoyable one. Anyway, without further ado here are the final10 out of 20 questions and the responses provided. All responses are by me unless otherwise indicated. Owner edited the responses i provided (as She edits all blog entries i make) to keep my answers clear and to the point.
Click here for Interview Part 1 of 2
------------INTERVIEWED BY SNOOPING SISSY - PART 2 OF 2 -------------------
SNOOPING SISSY: Another aspect is cross-dressing. Initially your blog has mentioned forced feminisation but you had previously dressed and suppressed. Can you tell of your experience both prior to Owner and in your relationship? Were you scared, humiliated, excited or indifferent initially? What advice would give for femme sissy subs?
POPPET: As a teenager i would sometimes try on my mum’s clothes and at college, for fancy dress, I had her permission to borrow a dress and pair of shoes and a hat from her and go in dressed as a woman. In fact, pretty much every fancy dress i have ever attended saw me dressed en femme. However, i never really thought of myself as a cross-dresser let alone trans or anything. i was fascinated by what life as a woman was like and always wanted an opportunity to try and experience it, but just out of curiosity more than anything else. i never discussed this feeling with anyone or reflected on what it might mean about myself and my own sense of identity. i kind of assumed most boys thought the same. Obviously, i now know the truth, they do not.
i would occasionally wear woman’s lingerie before i met Owner but that was about that. Then we met and our FLR relationship started. We joined an online forum and became online friends with some of the other people there. One Mistress, called Mistress 160, initiated a forced feminisation challenge and Owner dressed me up and entered some pictures of me. From memory i think they were quite well received.
Owner enjoyed having me dress that way on occasion and had me dress for Her more and more. However, what had initially felt quite embarrassing and slightly shameful/humiliating – i still remember the terror i felt the first time i went out wearing make-up with Owner on the bus or the time She made me walk through a busy London railway station in high heels – began to feel more normal and enjoyable. For the first time ever in my life when i looked at myself in the mirror i started to like the person I saw looking back, it felt like the real/authentic me somehow. i liked how I looked for the first time ever. It sounds super vain to say this but i never previously thought myself capable of looking attractive and then suddenly someone was looking back at me in the mirror who triggered the thought, ‘hey, maybe i am not ugly’. It was a wonderful feeling.
It was scary but if you introduce gradual changes and allow yourself time to get used to them you will eventually find that things that once scared or frightened you (in terms of your appearance in women’s clothes/make-up) no longer do. i now routinely dress en femme and wear make-up to work, with my family etc and continue to be bolder with my looks/clothing. Whenever Owner and i go swimming or to a spa i now always wear a bikini. i could never ever have imagined a world in which i might be pretty comfortable and not too embarrassed doing that, but i have now done it quite a few times, in this country and abroad.
People do sometimes stare but i have come to quite like that, to like being noticed. i am no longer ashamed or shy about how and what I am. i do occasionally get the odd unpleasant remark but i ignore them.
Living in a city means it is very easy to ‘disappear’ in the crowd and not be noticed. But i have also appeared en femme in very rural and conservative places as well. i have learnt to realise how accepting and tolerant people, for the most part, are.
i still feel self-conscious about my ‘breasts’ when wearing a padded bra and tight t-shirt and am trying to learn to become more comfortable with that. I am a 38AA but would love to have to wear inserts and have a bigger cup size (i would actually love to have actual breasts but that is a hard no as far as Owner is concerned and She has been super supportive of me and my femininization journey and i would never do anything that She did not want me to). I am sure that i would find it embarrassing and humiliating at first to have even more noticeable ‘breasts’, but that is something i enjoy feeling and then having the courage (not really the right word) to get used to that and to learn to not care what people think of your appearance.
i am always amazed and impressed by people who have had really obvious and extreme plastic surgery and how much confidence they have to go out in the world with super-sized lips or breasts or butt cheeks etc and have everyone stare but to not care themselves. i would love to have just a small fraction of their self-confidence – and their inflated tits
SNOOPING SISSY: What aspects of your relationship are the most rewarding and what are the least rewarding from a psychological perspective?
POPPET: Everything about my relationship with Owner is rewarding. i love the control and influence that She exerts over all aspects of my life and how this has developed and strengthened over time. It has genuinely helped to make me a better person. i am someone who takes pleasure in housework and i also love to cook. i love that i am kept locked in chastity (most of the time) and denied and would love to one day become completely orgasm-free. To be told that never again would i be permitted to orgasm. i love being set challenges and any opportunity i get to show that i am slut/whore. i also love to be restrained.
i have got better at dealing with being caned or whipped etc but i am not a natural painslut and have more to do in terms of learning to process and deal with pain. Being restrained also becomes uncomfortable after a while. This is the point but again it is something i need to further practice in order to be able to handle being restrained for extended time periods. i am quite a fidget and staying still does not come naturally to me and staying in the same position inevitably becomes uncomfortable after a while, especially on the knees or in your arms if they are raised up. Owner permits me to use a mat to take the pressure off my knees which i am grateful for.
The best part of my relationship with Owner, however, is that we are each other best friend. i genuinely enjoy spending time with Her and we have a lot of fun and adventures together.
The most challenging aspect is accepting that being told ‘no’ means no and not trying to argue back. i was also used to living independently since the age of 18 and to not needing permission to do things so adjusting to a life where permission is always needed and you have very limited independence does take getting used to.
Ceding control of my salary to Owner felt like, and was, a big step at the time and not being able to simply decide to buy something i like anymore took time to adjust to but it is now second-nature. It feels normal now to have Owner decide what i can eat when we go out and to require Her permission to go out, other than for work, without Her. But again these all now feel totally normal and i would not want to ever go back to having the ‘freedoms’ i once enjoyed. Quite the opposite in fact. If anything i would love to be even more restricted by Owner and have a desire to, one day, be taken on by Her as Her slave. However, i have much to still learn and improve before I might even be considered worthy of that and it would also only work when i no longer had to spend my tim doing paid work, work that takes me away from focussing on Owner and Her needs and wants. But that is my goal, to one day be granted the honour and privilege of becoming Her slave.
SNOOPING SISSY: The last few months were a testing time with medical issues. You recently had a period which is probably described a sub drop in that you did not have motivation. Can you advise how you navigate these issues when life is not in accordance with expectations?
POPPET: No matter who we are there will always be times when life gets in the way of how we might want to live in our relationship with our dominant partner, be they things you are experiencing and going through or things they are. In our 20 years together both Owner and i have had bouts of health issues, periods when work or family crises and dramas etc have distracted us. For me this has led to times when i went backwards, not forwards in my development as Owners submissive housewife and slut, or have simply been treading water.
i think first off it is important to understand that we can’t and won’t always be at out best 100% of the time, no matter how much we might want and try. Accepting that fact is important in its own right. However, it is important to try and minimise such occurrences in so far as you can and develop strategies for dealing with the things that life will inevitably throw your way.
There are things that definitely help me at all times but especially in such ‘fallow’ periods. These are rituals and routines, things you can continue to do (even if you have to adapt them) that show your submission and devotion to your Owner. Even if you are unable to do everything expected of you maintaining at least a base level of service gives you something to then build and recover back from. The key thing is that, despite the inevitable setbacks, you should always strive to do more, keep working to improve and enhance your service and submission so that, even if you do slip back a little, your poorly performing self will still be a better version of yourself than the one that first set out.
Sometimes, however, you and your partner may simply be too unwell/unable to do anything. In that case do what is needed to help you/them recover and then, when able, try to slowly re-build once again.
Just as they say with exercise that you still retain muscle memory and can quite rapidly build back towards a level of fitness even if you have not exercised for a while so too with submission. There is a memory of experience, service and submission that you have built up that you can call upon to help you get back to the person you were and then push on from there.
My other tip is never think that you have got there, that you have achieved all that you are capable of becoming. You have not, you are still capable to developing further, doing better. You are on a journey, one that will change your life for the better. But it is a journey without an end because none of us are perfect. Just be the best you can and keep trying to be better.
SNOOPING SISSY: What advice would you give in regards to chastity including devices & sizes?
POPPET: Go small. Honestly, the smaller the device the better. However, pay attention to the base ring as that is what, if things are going to get uncomfortable for you, will most likely be the root cause. Caged or not most people with a penis experience actual or attempted night-time erections. For me these typically happen from about 4am. If your base ring is too small then the pressure of the swelling being constricted by the base ring will become uncomfortable, enough to wake you up. Being woken up this way on the odd occasion is normal but if this happens to you a lot then your base ring is too small. However, choose too big a base ring and you risk your testicles escaping or the device slipping and your penis coming out (also a risk with ultra small cages). Also always go for a shaped base-ring rather than a perfect flat circle. They are a better fit to your body shape and will be more comfortable.
Plastic/3-D printed cages are super lightweight and can be worn through airport security without any fear of triggering an alarm. However, even with regular removal for cleaning they will start to develop a slight odour eventually. The colour can also fade and they are prone to breakages, some are not that well-built. My favourite one was called a honeycomb device which created a lovely flat profile but the cage itself was prone to breaking/splitting.
i am now in a stainless steel python nub which is a super comfortable and is a device i would highly recommend. You can read my review of it here.
There are myriad designs of chastity devices to choose from. Gone are the days when there were just a few different designs. Don’t be afraid to try some different ones until you find the one that works best for you. Also don’t assume that all chastity devices mean it is impossible to pull your penis out. Unless you also have a piercing that anchors your penis in its cage then pretty much all are ones you can ‘escape’ from. But, why on earth would you want to? If you really are incapable of preventing yourself from forcibly escaping in order to masturbate then get the head of your penis pierced with a Prince Albert so that you can truly lock yourself up, or be locked up by another.
SNOOPING SISSY: You recently implemented a permission to speak card. Do you envision a time in the future that you may not speak for days at a time with the exception of work or contact with family members?
POPPET: Good question! Owner hates to be disturbed by me but She does, however, still like to seek my opinion and chat with me etc. Whilst i cannot imagine having to go for days without being allowed to speak i could imagine a scenario where, for example, i had to remain silent during specific times or speak only if spoken to. When i am caged i am also gagged, meaning speech is rendered impossible. Spending time gagged outside of the cage would be an effective way of silencing me.
SNOOPING SISSY: On your blog you have a number of posts with dildos either inserted and fellatio. What advice would you give to help a sissies become a slut?
POPPET: Practice, practice, practice. If you are like me then, in order to be able to accommodate bigger dildo’s in your ‘pussy’ or be able to deepthroat without gagging then you need to practice and take things slowly. Gradually build up until you can take bigger or longer (or both!) dildo’s.
When inserting dildos start gently using a finger, then another, then a third to stretch yourself open a bit. Don’t forget to have lubed first. Then replace your fingers with a small dildo and then practice gradually working up to bigger sizes. Your anus/pussy is, with training, remarkably accommodating in terms of much it can stretch but you need time, patience and lube to prevent small tears. Don’t worry, you won’t stretch it to a point where it doesn’t go back, it always will, even if it might take a short period to fully close. You may find you fart a bit afterwards as quite a bit of air will also have got trapped inside you. With practice you will find that your pussy can be trained to very quickly open up and accommodate bigger and bigger dildos.
You can also work long and thinner dildos very, very deep inside of you. Basically they go up into your colon (you will feel some resistance as you push up past your interior anal valves) but you can, with practice, easily get something like a 12-inch double ended dildo fully inside you and you can progress to much longer dildos, provided that they are fully flexible.
Deep-throating has some similarities. You will gag and i find that my eyes also always water as i work a dildo past down my throat to the point where it reaches my epiglottis. It can feel a little dry and uncomfortable and create a sensation that you might be sick. Incidentally, i would not advise attempting to deepthroat if you have recently eaten as you may bring some of your food back up. However, if you persevere and get the end of the dildo further down past your epiglotis into your esophagus you will find that the thick mucus that lines that part of your throat also coats your dildo/cock making it slide in and out much more smoothly and easily. Again, you can work a long dildo a long way down your throat.
Personally, i love getting covered in mucus when deep-throating. The one thing i struggle with is that my mouth doesn’t actually open very wide so there is a limit to the girth of cock/dildo that i can deepthroat.
My advice with both anal and deepthroat play is practice, practice and practice.
SNOOPING SISSY: There are also a number of posts were you devour Owner's piss. When did you first try this, was this your suggestion or Owner's insistence? As a guesstimate how many times do you believe you have consumed?
POPPET: Oooh, great question. If i am completely honest i cannot actually remember the first time i consumed Owners piss. Other than my own (we all did that right? When we were kids – or was that just me?) Hers is the first and only other persons piss that i have ever drunk. At first, if I am honest, i didn’t especially like the taste but that soon changed and now i truly crave it.
The taste of Owners piss varies a lot depending on the time of day (which also affects the colouration). First thing in the morning it is darker and stronger but then later in the day it is lighter and crisper. i love both. Normally Owner pisses into a glass then presents it to me to drink. She has a special over-sized engraved wine glass that is used for this purpose. We also have a urinal mouth gag that Owner also uses to piss directly into my mouth. Owner enjoys pissing on me and having me consume Her piss and i love to drink it.
i couldn’t say how many times i have consumed Her piss, it is into the hundreds i think. i am lucky in that i get to drink Owners piss most weekends. If i could drink it more often. i am sometimes also given some in a flask to then go and drink in our local park. i would also love to spend an evening with Owner in a bar, with Her drinking Her favourite rum and coke or beer and me drinking glasses of Her piss
i also am lucky in that i am allowed to lick out Owners anus and I absolutely adore doing this. i love the aroma and the taste and the intimacy of the act. On some occasions when doing this i have been lucky enough to also be able to consume small nuggets of Owners faeces. i would love to have Owner shit in my mouth one day.
SNOOPING SISSY: A very interesting post i like is when you had your nuptials. How did it come about to swap genders during the ceremony?
POPPET: It just felt natural. Owner is not a woman who wears dresses or skirts. Her go to attire is a pair of jeans or tracksuit bottoms and a hooded top. It is very much a case of Her being the one who wears the trousers (literally and metaphorically) in Her household with me being the one in a skirt. Owner chose my dress and shoes for me and She also chose the trouser suit that She wore. We had planned a road trip in the USA from Phoenix, to Flagstaff and Monument Valley and then onto the Grand Canyon, ending up in Las Vegas. We discovered you could book a mobile wedding service where they would marry you at your chosen location in or around the city so we got married under the ‘Welcome to Las Vegas’ sign with a gaggle of tourists looking on.
i can still recall my nerves descending the elevator into the lobby of the hotel we were staying in whilst wearing my dress, then collecting our car and driving to the location of the sign, slipping on my heels and stepping out amongst the other tourists to be wed. The dress and shoes (which i still have) were both a sort of blush pink, Owner deciding that virginal white was definitely not becoming of a bride as well used as me. i also wore a light blue garter belt on my stockinged leg. We both devised our own vows. i promised to obey Owner in mine, obviously Owner did not say the same in Hers.
The legal part of the wedding was done the night before at the local registry office (minus the dress) so it was a fully legal wedding. It was a wonderful moment in our lives. We plan to renew our vows for our 10th wedding anniversary albeit probably in Canada rather than returning to the USA which neither of us would in the current situation.
If, as i one day hope, i am deemed worthy of becoming Owners slave I would also love to celebrate that occasion somehow as well. Perhaps by being branded or something, who knows?
SNOOPING SISSY: How do you deal with punishments which you do not particularly like compared to the more funishment one?
POPPET: Owner discovered that She enjoys administering and inflicting pain, however, i am not a natural pain slut. One of the things that She expects of me, therefore, is to increase my tolerance of and ability to handle pain. In some areas I think i have made reasonable progress. For example, my nipples can deal with quite sustained and heavy abuse (and have grown pleasingly bigger as a consequence of such abuse). This takes the form of wearing vicious serrated metal clamps, tit canings or having heavy weights suspended from them. It is painful but i can deal with it and my nipples always feel amazing to touch and caress the day after – abusing them keeps them super aroused, which is a plus!
Whippings and canings took me longer to adjust to and Owner Herself was also, i think, initially reluctant to truly strike me hard for fear of hurting me or marking me. We have both overcome this. Owner does now strike hard and with intent to hurt. There was a period of about a year where a shoulder injury prevented Her from caning or whipping me but She has recently started to again and is gradually building back up to the level She was at before, in terms of pain administered. In fact, as part of our anniversary celebrations we stayed overnight at a dungeon. This provided Owner with an opportunity to secure me to a St Andrews cross and really whip and cane me hard. She did a great job, so much so that my bum was bruised for days afterwards. She was actually worried that She had hit me too hard, but of course She had not. It was, however, wonderful to experience a beating as hard as the one She gave me whilst we were there. It was definitely the most severe i have experienced to date but my body handled it well. If anything it actually left me wanting to be hurt even more.
i found dealing with the pain that comes from being caned or whipped quite difficult at first as i don’t have a naturally high pain threshold. However, with time and experience i learnt to get better at doing so. Being beaten on a regular basis helped a lot in this regard. Owner typically canes or whips me etc once a week, usually at the end of the week. Not as a punishment just as something She enjoys and expects (rightly) me to accept.
Regular beatings definitely help when it comes to tolerance of the pain – something i noticed when Owner re-started after the enforced one year absence. To cope with the pain i count off each strike/stroke and will also sometimes clasp my hands together in such a way that my nails dig into my palms – to distract me. i find that being caned or whipped across the backs of my thighs is a lot more painful than being struck on my buttocks. Whether I am bent down or stood up also makes a difference in terms of how the pain is experienced.
Owner likes to do cane and whip me on my buttocks and on the backs of my thighs. She also delights in striking me between my legs so that She catches the exposed flesh of my caged clit. She always ensures that She strikes me from both sides of my body, alternating Her stance and angle of attack.
The one type of pain i really still struggle with is being electrocuted. Unlike when i am whipped or caned Owner has to secure my hands and feet before electrocuting me as otherwise i thrash about wildly and may accidentally hurt Her as i do. i can also still only tolerate relatively low levels of intensity. The shock devices Owner has have a range of different settings in terms of intensity but i still find even the lowest ones hard to deal with. i have a long way to go before being being able to tolerate being electrocuted with the intensity Owner would like.
That said, when we visited the dungeon for our anniversary and Owner strapped me down into a gynaecological examination chair She then electrocuted my caged clit and tits using a mains powered violet wand kit with the power cranked up to the maximum. Sparks flew and wisps of smoke rose up from my singed flesh. It was horrible but i survived and i ended up feeling proud that i was at last able to show that i could be electrocuted very painfully and just about still cope.
When i have to wear the electric shock collar around my caged clit all day i am genuinely scared of being electrocuted and that is a very powerful and intense feeling to have, fear of the pain Owner can inflict. This sounds wrong for so many reasons but i like being scared of Her and the power to hurt me that She wields. She already has that through the use of electro-torture. One of the reasons i look forwards to Fridays these days is that i spend all day wearing the electro-shock device around my caged clit. Meaning Owner can electrocute me whenever She wishes. i would love to have to wear it more regularly.
i don’t, yet, experience the same level of fear when being caned or whipped as i do when i either am being electrocuted or when i fear that i might be electrocuted. i also get caned/whipped on a Friday but do not fear it in the way that i do when i am given electric shocks. i would like to have the same fear be but think this would only happen if i was to be caned/whipped with a severity that broke me and made me cry and caused me to beg and plead with Owner to stop. This has happened when electrocuted but never from being caned or whipped. It would, i think, be beneficial to my own growth and development to also be broken this way from a whipping or caning.
SNOOPING SISSY: Are there any elements that you would like to try that have not been incorporated to your FLR?
POPPET: It is not really a case of what i would like to try but more one of what Owner wants. Longer-term i would love to become Owners slave. i know i have a long way to go before i might even be worthy of being considered for such a privilege, but that is my goal. To live a life absolutely under Owners control, to spend all my time devotedly serving Her and making Her life as pleasurable and easy as i can whilst my own independence and freedom was completely eradicated and Owner completely controlled every aspect of my life, day and night. Honestly, that would be so wonderful.
However, neither of us believe such an outcome feasible whilst we are both still working and i know that I also have much to improve upon as well. So that is where my focus lies at present.
So to answer you question i would say I want to try to be a better, more obedient, submissive housewife and slut for my Owner. Of course, there are things i wish for and fantasise about but whether or not they might ever be incorporated into my life with Owner? Well, that is not a matter for me to decide
Readers of this blog periodically ask whether i might one day take hormones/have surgery to develop my breasts? The answer to this is a firm 'no'. Owner has always made it clear that, whilst She has supported and is happy with my feminisation, such a move is out of the question. She likes me to look cute and pretty but also expects me to retain the body of a boy.
When it comes to my nipples, however, Owner is not opposed to my having bigger ones. As for me i have always been fascinated by long, distended nipples, or 'pokies' as they are sometimes described. A combination of the regular abuse they have received (clamped/tortured etc) over the years combined with the fact that they are pierced had already left me with somewhat puffy nipples, teats that quickly stiffen and become erect and highly aroused when touched or caressed.
My tits are now subject to a five days a week stretching regimen using weights which has, i think, definitely caused my nipples to stretch and lengthen a little further. Every weekday i sweep all of the floors in the flat, and then do 75 squats, whilst 150g are suspended from S hooks attached to each of my nipple rings i.e. 0.3kg in total. Once a week, on a day when Owner is working from Her office but i am at home, i mop as well as sweep all of the floors. When i do this additional weights are added, meaning each nipple ring has 400g or a combined weight of 0.8kg hangs from my nipples. When i am caged, on Thursday evenings, even more weight is added so that over 1kg in weights hangs suspended from S hooks attached to each of my nipple rings.
This regular stretching regimen has resulted in my nipples becoming a little longer. i think you can see the change in the two images below:
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| plump 'pokies' |
They are also quite stretchable
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| ignore the multiple double chins! |
i love the fact that my nipples have stretched further and started to visibly 'droop' as they have become more elongated. i hope that they continue to enlarge and become ever more noticeable when i remove or push my bra up.
i also love the sensation of the weights swinging and swaying and pulling and stretching my teets first thing in the morning whilst i sweep the floors.
Yesterday evening Owner went out for dinner with a friend leaving me at home to get on with the housework. i made full use of the fact that Owner was out to both sweep (again - twice in the same day) and mop all of the floors. i did so with a full load of weights (X3 on each S hook) and an iron bell suspended from my nipple piercings - a combined weight of 0.8kg
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| mopping the floors having first swept them - with tit weights swinging |
Today Owner was in Her office. As i had mopped the floors the previous evening whilst She was out at dinner there was no need for me to do so again. However, the floors, of course, still needed their daily sweep, which i did just before starting work - once again with weights suspended.
She can obviously also see what else i am up to. For example, today She was watching me from Her office as i prepared my lunch at home.
Talking of the security camera. Owner has also fashioned it a little winter hat for it to wear - it looks even more cute than it did before!
A few months ago one of the followers of this blog, snooping sissy, approached Owner and i with a suggestion. Would it be possible for them to conduct a virtual interview with questions submitted by snooping sissy to be answered by me and, in one instance, by Owner as well?
Owner and i both loved the idea. It would make for a change to the usual blog format and so we replied that yes we would be happy to do so. Snooping sissy then submitted twenty questions.
The following post sets out the first ten such questions submitted by snooping sissy and my (and Owners) answers. This post will be followed up in seven days time with part 2, in which the final 10 questions submitted and the answers provided will be revealed.
Owner and i would both like to thank snooping sissy for the thought they clearly put into the questions provided and for making the interview process an enjoyable one. Anyway, without further ado here are the first 10 out of 20 questions and the responses provided. All responses are by me unless otherwise indicated. Owner edited the responses i provided (as She edits all blog entries i make) to keep my answers clear and to the point.
------------INTERVIEWED BY SNOOPING SISSY - PART 1 OF 2 -------------------
SNOOPING SISSY: Can you tell about your childhood, were you extroverted or an introvert? Did you engage in boys activities such as sport or other interests like reading or making models? Did you have any effeminate traits looking back?
POPPET: i was a fairly self-contained albeit extrovert child. We moved house a lot courtesy of my Dad’s job, he was a long-haul commercial airline pilot, especially when I was quite young. i went to 5 different primary/junior schools. It meant i had to learn to get along with other children and keep making new friends but I also learnt how to keep myself entertained. i was always happy in my own company but I would also play with others, boys and girls but i was never ‘one of the boys’ at school.
i wasn’t really good at sports other than running. i did play football at school (badly). i also swam but unlike my sister never competed or represented our county. The only sport that i have strong memories of playing were mixed boy/girl hockey matches and being amazed how violent the girls were. i also once fell over on the wing after being tripped up by one of the girls hockeysticks. The foul unbalanced her and she fell backwards and i landed face down between her legs. The memory of looking up and realising that my nose was almost touching her gym knickers is imprinted on my brain!
My dad was away for long periods so i was mostly brought up by my mum. i have a younger sister and the three of us all got along well. My dad was a bit of a stranger to me back then and we hardly ever did anything as father/son, except attend air shows or go on the occasional trip abroad with him (i adored spending time with the hostesses!). It was always my mum who took me fishing or spent any time with me. i also loved to meet my mum’s female friends – as an early teen i definitely had a crush on a number of them.
i liked doing solitary things like going fishing (i wasn’t very good at it but loved the peace of the pondside at dawn). The male friends i had were a bit geeky, we played Runequest and Dungeons & Dragons or other role-play games together.
However, i generally preferred to play with girls rather than boys. They fascinated me and from a very early age i wanted to know what it was like to be one, even if just for a short while. Some of the girls would pick on me, which i actually quite liked. i recall being chased across a field once by two girls in my class who then pinned me to the ground, one straddling my chest pinning my shoulders down and the other on my legs. Again, that is quite a strong memory.
Boys often scared me when i was younger (men still sometimes do). i am not physical. The last fight i had was when i was 11 and i lost. i have always tried to avoid any kind of physical argument.
i was pretty conservative and very much a ‘good boy’ as a teenager. My sister was the more rebellious one. I was probably the only teenage boy with a picture of the Queen on their bedroom wall, along with Kate Bush.
SNOOPING SISSY: When did you first realise that you maybe different from the conventional vanilla type? how did that manifest?
POPPET: As a child i wasn’t very creative, unlike my sister who was musically quite talented. One thing i did have though was a slightly kinky imagination from an early age. i had an action man toy as a child and i used to steal some of my mum’s nail polish and paint red stripes on his back, where he had supposedly been whipped. i also used to regularly draw pictures of underground tunnels and chambers and inside these chambers lots of naughty and quite perverted things would go on. Not the sort of things one might imagine the average 10 year old drawing. When i played Runequest with friends in my teens i would devise some quite kinky scenarios for their characters. So i guess i have had a ‘kinky’ side to my nature from a young age.Looking back it seems obvious but it wasn’t until i met Owner, in my mid-thirties, that i really knew. Even then i didn’t know the half of it! Prior to that there had always been certain adult magazines that appealed to me over others, i especially loved ones with dominant women and submissive men and would try to seek out those with ‘real-life’ stories. There were occasional moments of role play with previous partners but i knew i wanted something that wasn’t just a game.
i have always been quite nervous and insecure when it came to sex. My first real attempt with a woman was aged about 17. It was with a much older girl/woman, i think she must have been in her mid-late twenties, who i had met whilst out drinking with some friends. She was with her friends and, to cut a long story short, we all ended up at her friends house. She took me upstairs whilst everyone else carried on drinking downstairs. i was a bit drunk and very nervous and wasn’t able to get an erection. She went out of her way to ensure everyone else knew what a failure in bed i had been. She ran downstairs and told all my and her friends that i couldn’t get it up. The next day at college i was greeted with shouts of ‘floppy’ from my friends. Soon everyone in my year knew what happened and that nickname stayed with me until i left for university.
At the time it was a deeply humiliating and embarrassing experience. i didn’t attempt sex again for another few years and found it a really nerve-wracking/traumatic experience, as were most subsequent experiences in my 20s and early 30s. They often resulted in a failure on my part to get or maintain any sort of an erection. i loved trying to orally pleasure partners, side note – i hate the very idea of getting a blowjob myself and have never had one and have zero wish to ever have one. However, when it came to penetrative sex if i did manage to ‘get it up’ i would then struggle to last longer than a few thrusts and the memory of that first and spectacular failure would always be on my mind.
In hindsight, i now realise that being humiliated like that was the best thing that could have ever have happened to me. It occurred at just the right age and moment in my life to have a profound and lasting impact on me. If i could somehow go back and thank the woman i would.
SNOOPING SISSY: Which females did you admire when you were younger either due to attractiveness or in a general sense?
POPPET: i mentioned how i always found my mum’s friends quite attractive so had a thing for older women, although in the end it was a woman of the same age as me, Owner, who would be the one who i would fall for big time and who changed my life beyond all recognition.
When i was quite young i had a real crush on the dancers in TV programmes, performers like Pans People and Legs & Co. My mum tells me I would sometimes kiss the TV screen when I was little when they came on! i have always loved women who are strong and assertive, like Owner. That doesn’t necessarily mean they are physically strong, just that they know and speak their own mind. i would say that i admire women in real-life or female characters in movies/books/plays etc who are quite commanding, quite self-assured, confident, outspoken and assertive in their own way. Women who some men might say are ‘difficult’ (an incredibly sexist thing to say) i tend to really like. i also admire women who behave or act in ways that some people might find outrageous but who clearly could not give a shit what others might think. i am always impressed by women who manipulate men for their own ends, whether that be via their intellect, their looks or a deadly combination of the two.
My childhood and teenage preference for female company over male is as strong as it ever was. At work i have always preferred to be managed by women and to myself manage staff who are women. i delight when i see them progress up the career ladder.
SNOOPING SISSY: What were your influences growing up, not specifically kink but including people and ideas that helped shape you into the wife you are today?
POPPET: My mum was quite a strong influence as she largely raised me as my Dad was away from home a lot and when he was home neither of us got on, as we didn’t really know each other. i also got on well with my sister.
i grew up being the one, along with my sister, who always washed and put away the dishes. i also learnt to cook and quite enjoyed it, baking especially. iI left home when I went to university and self-catered so i had to cook for and look after myself, although at the time my diet mostly consisted of cigarettes, alcohol and takeaway kebabs – in that order! i smoked from aged 18 through to about 42 when i finally managed to quit and have not smoked since. Owner also smoked (not as much as me) and She also quit at the same time.
i got my first part-time job aged 13 as a newspaper delivery boy. i then got a part-time job as a bakers assistant aged 15 (I had to go to work at 3am every Saturday!) and also worked part-time as a hospital cleaner and cleaning aircraft working nights at Gatwick airport. So i was used to cleaning from a young age even if i am naturally very messy and untidy if left to my own devices, which obviously i no longer am
At sixth form college my history teacher was brilliant and ignited a passion for history, especially Cold War history which influenced by subsequent academic studies (BA, MA and PhD).
i became very interested in politics and was quite politically active at University. My politics by then were on the left and i attended many marches and protests and became very interested in feminist theory and women’s history. My BA dissertation was on feminism. My politics remain left of centre but i have increasingly come to believe that what we need is a gynarchy and i now believe in and advocate for Female supremacy. Ironically, Owner does not share my views. Also unlike me She much prefers the company of men.
The writings of Elise Sutton helped me to realise that submission was not about what i wanted but should be about how i could make Owners life more comfortable and enjoyable. This may sound obvious but at the time it was a real jolt to me when i read her books (which i really recommend). There was/is also an Australian Mistress, called Mistress 160 and her partner whom Owner and i became virtual friends with. She had an excellent blog and seemed to be quite the sadist, at least at the time some of the things she did seemed quite extreme to me. She was a real influence on our evolution and helped Owner to develop a domination style that suited Her. We are still in touch from time to time.
There have been other blogs and bloggers that have inspired me, some of whom i am in contact with and who are a constant source of inspiration. They will know who they are.
Owner has enrolled me on a number of courses over the years, all of which have helped to develop some of my more domestic skills, from sewing and knitting to pedicures, flower arranging and massage. i really enjoyed studying and learning new and appropriate skills.
SNOOPING SISSY: You have an interest in films with references to older movies on your blog, can you talk about the genres and films you like and what appeals to you about them?
POPPET: Owner is the real film aficionado; half the time i will have forgotten the plot before the credits have stopped rolling. i don’t really like horror films, whereas Owner is a huge fan, as I scare easily and don’t like to be scared. i like films that emotionally move me. We both love the films by the Korean Director Wang Kar Wei and i also love Lovers of the Arctic Circle and the English Patient (although the book is better) – how can you not like a film with beautiful people, deserts and a biplane! The Rocky Horror Show was a late teen/early twenties house party staple and provided endless excuses to wear stockings. i also like some cartoons and comedies and film noir and anything with a femme fatale theme (for probably obvious reasons) but my favourite film of all time, because it is so wonderfully silly, has to be Flash Gordon. It also has quite a kinky scene in it which struck a chord in my adolescent brain
i actually have a connection to the world of the movies and one of my claims to fame is that i have actually held an Oscar.
Of the two of us, however, Owner is the real film buff. She grew-up on a diet of movies from a very young age. We tend to watch at least one or two movies a week together. Mostly at home but occasionally at the cinema.
SNOOPING SISSY: You recently went to a music concert for BabyMetal. What music have you listened to through the years and what has changed? What are some of your favourite songs?
POPPET: This is such a difficult question to answer as, with the exception of R&B boy bands i cannot think of a musical genre i do not like. My first ever album was the Eurythmics Touch, followed by Iron Maiden’s Aces High. According to my phone the records i most recently downloaded to my iTunes included songs by Destroy Boys, Olivia Rodrigo, BANKS, Miley Cyrus, Rage Against the Machine, Eyes Set to Kill, Sonic Youth, Delilah Bon and Zara Larsson. The first concert i ever attended was Big County. The best concert i have been to is a tie between BB King, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds or the Yeah, Yeah Yeahs. i listen to anything from Gregorian Chant, punk, hip-hop, indie, ska, bangra, K-pop you name it, anything really except R&B boy bands. i tend to prefer female singers to male although there are some great male singers. i love sad songs, a particular fave is ‘Miss You’ by the brilliant Polly Scattergood from her 2013 album Arrows, and ones that are explicit and, in your face, or ones that just make me smile.
SNOOPING SISSY: You have both long and short breaks within the UK and abroad. What is your favourite country and destination and what others would you recommend?
POPPET: It is difficult to pick out a favourite place or country as the world is full of so many varied and interesting places. Owner doesn’t like the heat so we tend to avoid hot/tropical places. Countries we have really enjoyed include Chile, all the Nordic countries (we especially love Finland and Iceland) but also the Balkans. We got married in the USA (Las Vegas – at the end of a road trip from Phoenix to Flagstaff, Monument Valley and the Grand Canyon). We had hoped to renew our vows in the USA for our 10th wedding anniversary. However, in the current circumstances we will not visit the USA. We love Canada though, or perhaps Mexico…
Owner and i are planning a trip to Japan in Spring next year which we are both really excited about. Hopefully there will be opportunities to dress up in super cute outfits!
SNOOPING SISSY: You like cosplay which is influenced from Japan. Can you explain your influences and when you first became interested in this?
POPPET: i have Owner to thank for this. She has been interested in Japanese manga and anime from childhood and was the one who introduced me to it. i love the fact that there are many super cute girls outfits and accessories to wear. There are also a number of trans characters which is nice to see.Owner had me dress up and perform a little routine on stage at an anime convention in London in 2020. i was super nervous but also super excited to appear in front of strangers dressed in a cute manga maids style outfit, whilst also in chastity. Owner has advised me that i can expect to have to appear on stage next year too. i am already excited (and nervous) at the prospect. She will be choosing a new outfit for me to dress and appear on stage in.
SNOOPING SISSY: You put into writing a letter to Owner that you would like to be submissive. How did you feel writing the letter and awaiting a response? Did Owner have any inclination or just thought you were shy? Did owner have any previous feelings about dominating men and what did She initially feel reading the letter?
POPPET: i often find it easier to write things down rather than say them out loud, i feel less awkward and embarrassed and it gives me time to think what i want to say. Society teaches men not to be submissive and to ignore their feminine traits. Saying what you think and feel doesn’t always come easy. It can feel embarrassing (even if it is not), writing things down can be easier. i guess for Owner it also meant that she could read and re-read what i wrote and have written since (it has almost become a tradition that i put my hopes/fantasies in writing to Her).
OWNER: I never thought you were shy, because you are not. Before the letter I thought you might be a submissive, but I was not 100% sure. I am a dominant person in general, most my previous relationships were with men that were younger than me (or should I say boys?), so I always felt I was in control. But I never had a BDSM relationship, and I was happy to experiment.
SNOOPING SISSY: You advised that you realised once you started in a FLR that you like to be an exhibitionist. How did you deal with this initially, what strategies did you implement to help you overcome any problems/worries and what advice would you give to someone starting out in this activity?
POPPET: i have actually been an exhibitionist from quite a young age. As mentioned earlier, when talking about my childhood, i used to sneak out of my parents house and streak naked around our neighbourhood aged about 11 or 12. So I guess it is something that has been part of me for quite a while 😊
i have grown bolder over the years and am less fearful of doing things/being seen by others than i once was. i enjoy pushing myself further and trying to be more risque and getting looks and comments from strangers, something that would once have terrified me. i really like the thought of potentially being mistaken for a street prostitute. i would regard that as being a real compliment.
Our neighbours and countless delivery drivers, workmen etc have all now seen me dressed in micro skirts that barely cover my knickers or stockings etc. i find it quite thrilling and exciting to be seen dressed like this by others. i hope that they think i am a slut.
Believe it or not initially i was quite shy and nervous, and i still gets nervous at times today. i still think of myself as being a naturally slightly shy person. Like most things in life you find that once you have successfully tried something that you feel is challenging and difficult then the next time it becomes easier and the time after that easier still etc. The downside is that to get that same thrill and rush of excitement you have to keep pushing yourself a bit further, be more daring.
This might be a bad analogy but i think of it like this. i am scared of heights. i think it sheer madness/lunacy that anyone would ever want to climb a mountain or a building but i do understand the rush and the thrill that i think they get from doing it. i get a slightly similar rush, but in a far safer way, by exhibiting myself.
For a long time i would also try and avoid eye contact with people if they looked at or commented about me. Nowadays i try my best not to be shy and bashful and instead force myself to try and act as if i was dressed in the most normal way and doing the most normal of things (and mostly i am!) i now like it when people notice me and say things about me or to me. Most people are lovely.
If you are starting out then maybe go somewhere where nobody you know will see you and just try something slightly daring, a little risque. It is scary at first, but that is also quite an exciting feeling. Take some pictures of yourself and study others and practice poses (Owner says that at first i posed like a plank). Don’t let yourself get too comfortable, keep challenging yourself to go a bit further but also be mindful of others. This is not about exposing yourself sexually to anyone. That is offensive and is also against the law and is not what this is about. i have no desire at all to scare or intimidate others or cause alarm.
i would, however, like to be seen and thought of as being quite a slut. As i say, if someone mistook me for a street prostitute i would be thrilled.
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