This is the second half of the virtual interview conducted with snooping sissy. You can read the first part here (which includes my Owners first ever published comments on this blog). In this second part i answer
Owner and i would both like to thank snooping sissy for the thought they clearly put into the questions provided and for making the interview process an enjoyable one. Anyway, without further ado here are the final10 out of 20 questions and the responses provided. All responses are by me unless otherwise indicated. Owner edited the responses i provided (as She edits all blog entries i make) to keep my answers clear and to the point.
Click here for Interview Part 1 of 2
------------INTERVIEWED BY SNOOPING SISSY - PART 2 OF 2 -------------------
SNOOPING SISSY: Another aspect is cross-dressing. Initially your blog has mentioned forced feminisation but you had previously dressed and suppressed. Can you tell of your experience both prior to Owner and in your relationship? Were you scared, humiliated, excited or indifferent initially? What advice would give for femme sissy subs?
POPPET: As a teenager i would sometimes try on my mum’s clothes and at college, for fancy dress, I had her permission to borrow a dress and pair of shoes and a hat from her and go in dressed as a woman. In fact, pretty much every fancy dress i have ever attended saw me dressed en femme. However, i never really thought of myself as a cross-dresser let alone trans or anything. i was fascinated by what life as a woman was like and always wanted an opportunity to try and experience it, but just out of curiosity more than anything else. i never discussed this feeling with anyone or reflected on what it might mean about myself and my own sense of identity. i kind of assumed most boys thought the same. Obviously, i now know the truth, they do not.
i would occasionally wear woman’s lingerie before i met Owner but that was about that. Then we met and our FLR relationship started. We joined an online forum and became online friends with some of the other people there. One Mistress, called Mistress 160, initiated a forced feminisation challenge and Owner dressed me up and entered some pictures of me. From memory i think they were quite well received.
Owner enjoyed having me dress that way on occasion and had me dress for Her more and more. However, what had initially felt quite embarrassing and slightly shameful/humiliating – i still remember the terror i felt the first time i went out wearing make-up with Owner on the bus or the time She made me walk through a busy London railway station in high heels – began to feel more normal and enjoyable. For the first time ever in my life when i looked at myself in the mirror i started to like the person I saw looking back, it felt like the real/authentic me somehow. i liked how I looked for the first time ever. It sounds super vain to say this but i never previously thought myself capable of looking attractive and then suddenly someone was looking back at me in the mirror who triggered the thought, ‘hey, maybe i am not ugly’. It was a wonderful feeling.
It was scary but if you introduce gradual changes and allow yourself time to get used to them you will eventually find that things that once scared or frightened you (in terms of your appearance in women’s clothes/make-up) no longer do. i now routinely dress en femme and wear make-up to work, with my family etc and continue to be bolder with my looks/clothing. Whenever Owner and i go swimming or to a spa i now always wear a bikini. i could never ever have imagined a world in which i might be pretty comfortable and not too embarrassed doing that, but i have now done it quite a few times, in this country and abroad.
People do sometimes stare but i have come to quite like that, to like being noticed. i am no longer ashamed or shy about how and what I am. i do occasionally get the odd unpleasant remark but i ignore them.
Living in a city means it is very easy to ‘disappear’ in the crowd and not be noticed. But i have also appeared en femme in very rural and conservative places as well. i have learnt to realise how accepting and tolerant people, for the most part, are.
i still feel self-conscious about my ‘breasts’ when wearing a padded bra and tight t-shirt and am trying to learn to become more comfortable with that. I am a 38AA but would love to have to wear inserts and have a bigger cup size (i would actually love to have actual breasts but that is a hard no as far as Owner is concerned and She has been super supportive of me and my femininization journey and i would never do anything that She did not want me to). I am sure that i would find it embarrassing and humiliating at first to have even more noticeable ‘breasts’, but that is something i enjoy feeling and then having the courage (not really the right word) to get used to that and to learn to not care what people think of your appearance.
i am always amazed and impressed by people who have had really obvious and extreme plastic surgery and how much confidence they have to go out in the world with super-sized lips or breasts or butt cheeks etc and have everyone stare but to not care themselves. i would love to have just a small fraction of their self-confidence – and their inflated tits
SNOOPING SISSY: What aspects of your relationship are the most rewarding and what are the least rewarding from a psychological perspective?
POPPET: Everything about my relationship with Owner is rewarding. i love the control and influence that She exerts over all aspects of my life and how this has developed and strengthened over time. It has genuinely helped to make me a better person. i am someone who takes pleasure in housework and i also love to cook. i love that i am kept locked in chastity (most of the time) and denied and would love to one day become completely orgasm-free. To be told that never again would i be permitted to orgasm. i love being set challenges and any opportunity i get to show that i am slut/whore. i also love to be restrained.
i have got better at dealing with being caned or whipped etc but i am not a natural painslut and have more to do in terms of learning to process and deal with pain. Being restrained also becomes uncomfortable after a while. This is the point but again it is something i need to further practice in order to be able to handle being restrained for extended time periods. i am quite a fidget and staying still does not come naturally to me and staying in the same position inevitably becomes uncomfortable after a while, especially on the knees or in your arms if they are raised up. Owner permits me to use a mat to take the pressure off my knees which i am grateful for.
The best part of my relationship with Owner, however, is that we are each other best friend. i genuinely enjoy spending time with Her and we have a lot of fun and adventures together.
The most challenging aspect is accepting that being told ‘no’ means no and not trying to argue back. i was also used to living independently since the age of 18 and to not needing permission to do things so adjusting to a life where permission is always needed and you have very limited independence does take getting used to.
Ceding control of my salary to Owner felt like, and was, a big step at the time and not being able to simply decide to buy something i like anymore took time to adjust to but it is now second-nature. It feels normal now to have Owner decide what i can eat when we go out and to require Her permission to go out, other than for work, without Her. But again these all now feel totally normal and i would not want to ever go back to having the ‘freedoms’ i once enjoyed. Quite the opposite in fact. If anything i would love to be even more restricted by Owner and have a desire to, one day, be taken on by Her as Her slave. However, i have much to still learn and improve before I might even be considered worthy of that and it would also only work when i no longer had to spend my tim doing paid work, work that takes me away from focussing on Owner and Her needs and wants. But that is my goal, to one day be granted the honour and privilege of becoming Her slave.
SNOOPING SISSY: The last few months were a testing time with medical issues. You recently had a period which is probably described a sub drop in that you did not have motivation. Can you advise how you navigate these issues when life is not in accordance with expectations?
POPPET: No matter who we are there will always be times when life gets in the way of how we might want to live in our relationship with our dominant partner, be they things you are experiencing and going through or things they are. In our 20 years together both Owner and i have had bouts of health issues, periods when work or family crises and dramas etc have distracted us. For me this has led to times when i went backwards, not forwards in my development as Owners submissive housewife and slut, or have simply been treading water.
i think first off it is important to understand that we can’t and won’t always be at out best 100% of the time, no matter how much we might want and try. Accepting that fact is important in its own right. However, it is important to try and minimise such occurrences in so far as you can and develop strategies for dealing with the things that life will inevitably throw your way.
There are things that definitely help me at all times but especially in such ‘fallow’ periods. These are rituals and routines, things you can continue to do (even if you have to adapt them) that show your submission and devotion to your Owner. Even if you are unable to do everything expected of you maintaining at least a base level of service gives you something to then build and recover back from. The key thing is that, despite the inevitable setbacks, you should always strive to do more, keep working to improve and enhance your service and submission so that, even if you do slip back a little, your poorly performing self will still be a better version of yourself than the one that first set out.
Sometimes, however, you and your partner may simply be too unwell/unable to do anything. In that case do what is needed to help you/them recover and then, when able, try to slowly re-build once again.
Just as they say with exercise that you still retain muscle memory and can quite rapidly build back towards a level of fitness even if you have not exercised for a while so too with submission. There is a memory of experience, service and submission that you have built up that you can call upon to help you get back to the person you were and then push on from there.
My other tip is never think that you have got there, that you have achieved all that you are capable of becoming. You have not, you are still capable to developing further, doing better. You are on a journey, one that will change your life for the better. But it is a journey without an end because none of us are perfect. Just be the best you can and keep trying to be better.
SNOOPING SISSY: What advice would you give in regards to chastity including devices & sizes?
POPPET: Go small. Honestly, the smaller the device the better. However, pay attention to the base ring as that is what, if things are going to get uncomfortable for you, will most likely be the root cause. Caged or not most people with a penis experience actual or attempted night-time erections. For me these typically happen from about 4am. If your base ring is too small then the pressure of the swelling being constricted by the base ring will become uncomfortable, enough to wake you up. Being woken up this way on the odd occasion is normal but if this happens to you a lot then your base ring is too small. However, choose too big a base ring and you risk your testicles escaping or the device slipping and your penis coming out (also a risk with ultra small cages). Also always go for a shaped base-ring rather than a perfect flat circle. They are a better fit to your body shape and will be more comfortable.
Plastic/3-D printed cages are super lightweight and can be worn through airport security without any fear of triggering an alarm. However, even with regular removal for cleaning they will start to develop a slight odour eventually. The colour can also fade and they are prone to breakages, some are not that well-built. My favourite one was called a honeycomb device which created a lovely flat profile but the cage itself was prone to breaking/splitting.
i am now in a stainless steel python nub which is a super comfortable and is a device i would highly recommend. You can read my review of it here.
There are myriad designs of chastity devices to choose from. Gone are the days when there were just a few different designs. Don’t be afraid to try some different ones until you find the one that works best for you. Also don’t assume that all chastity devices mean it is impossible to pull your penis out. Unless you also have a piercing that anchors your penis in its cage then pretty much all are ones you can ‘escape’ from. But, why on earth would you want to? If you really are incapable of preventing yourself from forcibly escaping in order to masturbate then get the head of your penis pierced with a Prince Albert so that you can truly lock yourself up, or be locked up by another.
SNOOPING SISSY: You recently implemented a permission to speak card. Do you envision a time in the future that you may not speak for days at a time with the exception of work or contact with family members?
POPPET: Good question! Owner hates to be disturbed by me but She does, however, still like to seek my opinion and chat with me etc. Whilst i cannot imagine having to go for days without being allowed to speak i could imagine a scenario where, for example, i had to remain silent during specific times or speak only if spoken to. When i am caged i am also gagged, meaning speech is rendered impossible. Spending time gagged outside of the cage would be an effective way of silencing me.
SNOOPING SISSY: On your blog you have a number of posts with dildos either inserted and fellatio. What advice would you give to help a sissies become a slut?
POPPET: Practice, practice, practice. If you are like me then, in order to be able to accommodate bigger dildo’s in your ‘pussy’ or be able to deepthroat without gagging then you need to practice and take things slowly. Gradually build up until you can take bigger or longer (or both!) dildo’s.
When inserting dildos start gently using a finger, then another, then a third to stretch yourself open a bit. Don’t forget to have lubed first. Then replace your fingers with a small dildo and then practice gradually working up to bigger sizes. Your anus/pussy is, with training, remarkably accommodating in terms of much it can stretch but you need time, patience and lube to prevent small tears. Don’t worry, you won’t stretch it to a point where it doesn’t go back, it always will, even if it might take a short period to fully close. You may find you fart a bit afterwards as quite a bit of air will also have got trapped inside you. With practice you will find that your pussy can be trained to very quickly open up and accommodate bigger and bigger dildos.
You can also work long and thinner dildos very, very deep inside of you. Basically they go up into your colon (you will feel some resistance as you push up past your interior anal valves) but you can, with practice, easily get something like a 12-inch double ended dildo fully inside you and you can progress to much longer dildos, provided that they are fully flexible.
Deep-throating has some similarities. You will gag and i find that my eyes also always water as i work a dildo past down my throat to the point where it reaches my epiglottis. It can feel a little dry and uncomfortable and create a sensation that you might be sick. Incidentally, i would not advise attempting to deepthroat if you have recently eaten as you may bring some of your food back up. However, if you persevere and get the end of the dildo further down past your epiglotis into your esophagus you will find that the thick mucus that lines that part of your throat also coats your dildo/cock making it slide in and out much more smoothly and easily. Again, you can work a long dildo a long way down your throat.
Personally, i love getting covered in mucus when deep-throating. The one thing i struggle with is that my mouth doesn’t actually open very wide so there is a limit to the girth of cock/dildo that i can deepthroat.
My advice with both anal and deepthroat play is practice, practice and practice.
SNOOPING SISSY: There are also a number of posts were you devour Owner's piss. When did you first try this, was this your suggestion or Owner's insistence? As a guesstimate how many times do you believe you have consumed?
POPPET: Oooh, great question. If i am completely honest i cannot actually remember the first time i consumed Owners piss. Other than my own (we all did that right? When we were kids – or was that just me?) Hers is the first and only other persons piss that i have ever drunk. At first, if I am honest, i didn’t especially like the taste but that soon changed and now i truly crave it.
The taste of Owners piss varies a lot depending on the time of day (which also affects the colouration). First thing in the morning it is darker and stronger but then later in the day it is lighter and crisper. i love both. Normally Owner pisses into a glass then presents it to me to drink. She has a special over-sized engraved wine glass that is used for this purpose. We also have a urinal mouth gag that Owner also uses to piss directly into my mouth. Owner enjoys pissing on me and having me consume Her piss and i love to drink it.
i couldn’t say how many times i have consumed Her piss, it is into the hundreds i think. i am lucky in that i get to drink Owners piss most weekends. If i could drink it more often. i am sometimes also given some in a flask to then go and drink in our local park. i would also love to spend an evening with Owner in a bar, with Her drinking Her favourite rum and coke or beer and me drinking glasses of Her piss
i also am lucky in that i am allowed to lick out Owners anus and I absolutely adore doing this. i love the aroma and the taste and the intimacy of the act. On some occasions when doing this i have been lucky enough to also be able to consume small nuggets of Owners faeces. i would love to have Owner shit in my mouth one day.
SNOOPING SISSY: A very interesting post i like is when you had your nuptials. How did it come about to swap genders during the ceremony?
POPPET: It just felt natural. Owner is not a woman who wears dresses or skirts. Her go to attire is a pair of jeans or tracksuit bottoms and a hooded top. It is very much a case of Her being the one who wears the trousers (literally and metaphorically) in Her household with me being the one in a skirt. Owner chose my dress and shoes for me and She also chose the trouser suit that She wore. We had planned a road trip in the USA from Phoenix, to Flagstaff and Monument Valley and then onto the Grand Canyon, ending up in Las Vegas. We discovered you could book a mobile wedding service where they would marry you at your chosen location in or around the city so we got married under the ‘Welcome to Las Vegas’ sign with a gaggle of tourists looking on.
i can still recall my nerves descending the elevator into the lobby of the hotel we were staying in whilst wearing my dress, then collecting our car and driving to the location of the sign, slipping on my heels and stepping out amongst the other tourists to be wed. The dress and shoes (which i still have) were both a sort of blush pink, Owner deciding that virginal white was definitely not becoming of a bride as well used as me. i also wore a light blue garter belt on my stockinged leg. We both devised our own vows. i promised to obey Owner in mine, obviously Owner did not say the same in Hers.
The legal part of the wedding was done the night before at the local registry office (minus the dress) so it was a fully legal wedding. It was a wonderful moment in our lives. We plan to renew our vows for our 10th wedding anniversary albeit probably in Canada rather than returning to the USA which neither of us would in the current situation.
If, as i one day hope, i am deemed worthy of becoming Owners slave I would also love to celebrate that occasion somehow as well. Perhaps by being branded or something, who knows?
SNOOPING SISSY: How do you deal with punishments which you do not particularly like compared to the more funishment one?
POPPET: Owner discovered that She enjoys administering and inflicting pain, however, i am not a natural pain slut. One of the things that She expects of me, therefore, is to increase my tolerance of and ability to handle pain. In some areas I think i have made reasonable progress. For example, my nipples can deal with quite sustained and heavy abuse (and have grown pleasingly bigger as a consequence of such abuse). This takes the form of wearing vicious serrated metal clamps, tit canings or having heavy weights suspended from them. It is painful but i can deal with it and my nipples always feel amazing to touch and caress the day after – abusing them keeps them super aroused, which is a plus!
Whippings and canings took me longer to adjust to and Owner Herself was also, i think, initially reluctant to truly strike me hard for fear of hurting me or marking me. We have both overcome this. Owner does now strike hard and with intent to hurt. There was a period of about a year where a shoulder injury prevented Her from caning or whipping me but She has recently started to again and is gradually building back up to the level She was at before, in terms of pain administered. In fact, as part of our anniversary celebrations we stayed overnight at a dungeon. This provided Owner with an opportunity to secure me to a St Andrews cross and really whip and cane me hard. She did a great job, so much so that my bum was bruised for days afterwards. She was actually worried that She had hit me too hard, but of course She had not. It was, however, wonderful to experience a beating as hard as the one She gave me whilst we were there. It was definitely the most severe i have experienced to date but my body handled it well. If anything it actually left me wanting to be hurt even more.
i found dealing with the pain that comes from being caned or whipped quite difficult at first as i don’t have a naturally high pain threshold. However, with time and experience i learnt to get better at doing so. Being beaten on a regular basis helped a lot in this regard. Owner typically canes or whips me etc once a week, usually at the end of the week. Not as a punishment just as something She enjoys and expects (rightly) me to accept.
Regular beatings definitely help when it comes to tolerance of the pain – something i noticed when Owner re-started after the enforced one year absence. To cope with the pain i count off each strike/stroke and will also sometimes clasp my hands together in such a way that my nails dig into my palms – to distract me. i find that being caned or whipped across the backs of my thighs is a lot more painful than being struck on my buttocks. Whether I am bent down or stood up also makes a difference in terms of how the pain is experienced.
Owner likes to do cane and whip me on my buttocks and on the backs of my thighs. She also delights in striking me between my legs so that She catches the exposed flesh of my caged clit. She always ensures that She strikes me from both sides of my body, alternating Her stance and angle of attack.
The one type of pain i really still struggle with is being electrocuted. Unlike when i am whipped or caned Owner has to secure my hands and feet before electrocuting me as otherwise i thrash about wildly and may accidentally hurt Her as i do. i can also still only tolerate relatively low levels of intensity. The shock devices Owner has have a range of different settings in terms of intensity but i still find even the lowest ones hard to deal with. i have a long way to go before being being able to tolerate being electrocuted with the intensity Owner would like.
That said, when we visited the dungeon for our anniversary and Owner strapped me down into a gynaecological examination chair She then electrocuted my caged clit and tits using a mains powered violet wand kit with the power cranked up to the maximum. Sparks flew and wisps of smoke rose up from my singed flesh. It was horrible but i survived and i ended up feeling proud that i was at last able to show that i could be electrocuted very painfully and just about still cope.
When i have to wear the electric shock collar around my caged clit all day i am genuinely scared of being electrocuted and that is a very powerful and intense feeling to have, fear of the pain Owner can inflict. This sounds wrong for so many reasons but i like being scared of Her and the power to hurt me that She wields. She already has that through the use of electro-torture. One of the reasons i look forwards to Fridays these days is that i spend all day wearing the electro-shock device around my caged clit. Meaning Owner can electrocute me whenever She wishes. i would love to have to wear it more regularly.
i don’t, yet, experience the same level of fear when being caned or whipped as i do when i either am being electrocuted or when i fear that i might be electrocuted. i also get caned/whipped on a Friday but do not fear it in the way that i do when i am given electric shocks. i would like to have the same fear be but think this would only happen if i was to be caned/whipped with a severity that broke me and made me cry and caused me to beg and plead with Owner to stop. This has happened when electrocuted but never from being caned or whipped. It would, i think, be beneficial to my own growth and development to also be broken this way from a whipping or caning.
SNOOPING SISSY: Are there any elements that you would like to try that have not been incorporated to your FLR?
POPPET: It is not really a case of what i would like to try but more one of what Owner wants. Longer-term i would love to become Owners slave. i know i have a long way to go before i might even be worthy of being considered for such a privilege, but that is my goal. To live a life absolutely under Owners control, to spend all my time devotedly serving Her and making Her life as pleasurable and easy as i can whilst my own independence and freedom was completely eradicated and Owner completely controlled every aspect of my life, day and night. Honestly, that would be so wonderful.
However, neither of us believe such an outcome feasible whilst we are both still working and i know that I also have much to improve upon as well. So that is where my focus lies at present.
So to answer you question i would say I want to try to be a better, more obedient, submissive housewife and slut for my Owner. Of course, there are things i wish for and fantasise about but whether or not they might ever be incorporated into my life with Owner? Well, that is not a matter for me to decide
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