The wonderful Mistress Marie left a comment recently asking whether i wore feminine clothes and make-up all the time, even when with relatives? Though i responded i thought the question of what we wear and when was an interesting one. Owner and i also discussed the question of clothing last night whilst we were out together, albeit this time talking about how Her attire is very different from that which women are so often depicted wearing on Femdom websites etc. The subject of clothing is what prompted this post.

What i Wear and When

Nowadays, with very few exceptions (which i shall come onto), i always wear women's clothing and full make-up, my nails are always painted, my shoes and coats are all women's ones and my underwear (if i am wearing any) is women's. My body is also accessorised with women's jewellery, rings, bangles, necklaces, ear-rings, a waist chain, nipple and belly jewellery, and of course my metal collar. My haircut is an androgynous one.

It wasn't always thus. When Owner and i first met i was the epitome of the Marks and Spencer's man (my apologies to non-UK readers for whom this may not mean anything). i always wore boring male clothes - usually dark jeans coupled with brown shoes and a brown or dark green jumper/top. My wardrobe, such as it was, was minuscule and very, very dull.

In contrast, the other week i was presented with an award at an event at work. The invitation said the dress-code was 'smart-casual'. i wore bright red trainers, black skin-tight jeggings and a pink blouse coupled with a white lace bra and panties and my usual make-up and jewellery. The other men all wore suit trousers, black shoes and a shirt. The women were rather more adventurous. Ten years ago i would have worn exactly what the men there were wearing. Soon after that i might have risked wearing women's underwear under my 'male' attire. Five years ago all of my clothing would have been female and my collar would have been in view. A few years ago you would also have seen some make-up on me if you'd looked closely. In short, how i dress now is very different from how i once did.

It is only very rarely that i will wear a dress or skirt in public but doing so doesn't fill me with terror as once it did. My attire is feminine but fairly androgynous. i don't try to pass as a woman but i don't dress like a man either. But i am very comfortable and happy with how i look - whatever that look may seem to others. Whereas once Owner used to be able to successfully punish and humiliate me by making me wear make-up in public now one of Her most effective punishments is to refuse to let me wear any make-up at all!

There are a few specific occasions though when i don't dress like that, when the make-up is voluntarily absent and you when you will find me wearing a male top (though still with women's trousers, shoes, underwear and all my jewellery on) and that is when we go to Spain to visit Owners parents and family. i suspect it would not bother them at all really if i did turn-up one day in the arrivals lounge at the airport wearing make-up and a blouse, but i can't imagine i ever would. It is not something i feel a need to do (i.e. i don't feel the need to look a bit feminine in every situation in life) and i wouldn't want to cause Owner any embarrassment either. She has been incredibly supportive and accepting of the fact that the man She first met all those years ago looks quite different from the wife She now has. It is Her that chooses or approves all of my clothes purchases, buys me make-up etc. In short, She couldn't have been more accepting of my femininity. But Her family has never seen or known me as that so why (for the sake of one or two weeks a year) make an issue out of nothing - i am happy to be in 'boy' mode in Spain.

That said, on one of my first trips to Spain soon after Owner and i first moved in together we arrived during one of the festival weeks. It was expected that you had to go out into town in fancy dress. Of course, the character i chose was female (Morticia) and so got to not only wear a dress tat night but also had Owner and Her sister do my make-up.

With my own parents and sister things are somewhat different. i make no attempt to wear 'boy' clothes (the couple of boy tops that are the only remaining males clothes i have are for Spain alone these days) and tend to either tone down my make-up or not wear any (if i am staying over i don't bring any with me). My parents have, however, seen me wearing make-up. Both have, on occasion, commented that i look a bit feminine but neither have ever made it an issue and, the last two Christmases the tops that my sister has bought me as presents have been women's tops.

In short, whereas my feminisation started 'forcibly' it very, very quickly became something that, to me at least, is completely normal. i love wearing women's clothes and make-up and, on the whole, think nothing of it. i don't look like a woman and don't try to pass as a woman but enjoy trying to look what Owner describes as 'pretty'. That said, i will and do revert to a sort of 'boy' mode on very rare and very specific occasions.

It seems funny to look back and think about how terrified i once used to be at being made to wear make-up. To illicit the same horrified (but fascinated) response now would entail being told that i had to go out and walk around in nothing but lingerie and a see-thru plastic coat. Maybe just like one of these that you can buy in Top Shop. Now there's a delicious thought!

Owners Outfits

If you believe the Internet then all dominant women in 24/7 Femdom/FLR relationships always wear tight leather/rubber skirts and corsets and stockings and heels, right? This is an unending source of annoyance for Owner who, though She does own and occasionally wear such outfits, is much, much, much more likely to be administering discipline and punishments or teasing and tormenting Her wife wearing something comfortable and practical.

At home Owner is most likely to be found in a pair of fluffy slippers, tracksuit bottoms and a loose top. In bed She wears pyjama trousers and a t-shirt and out of the house She will normally always be found in jeans, and a blouse or other long-sleeved top. If anyone at home is wearing a short skirt, heels and no knickers or a lace nightie in bed it is me, not Her. i suspect Owner is far from being alone in dressing like this. Quite rightly She wears what She likes and feels most comfortable in - just as She chooses what clothes She likes for me.

However, the Internet is replete with images of Dominant women that are essentially just male fantasies. What annoys Her most is where depictions of supposedly 24/7 Femdom relationships also have the Dominant woman wearing the same types of clothes. Maybe there are such couples out there where the woman always looks and dresses that way but i imagine the reality is closer to how Owner dresses. It is a shame that there are not sites or images that depict this as Owner, i know, initially struggled at the start of our relationship with thinking that She somehow ought to dress and look very differently to that She was comfortable with. This isn't to say that She doesn't sometimes dress-up in Her most alluring and glamorous lingerie, She does. But not on a day-to-day basis as some sites would have you believe is how a Dominant woman should always look. Dominance is a state of mind, it is not a look.

i am conscious that this is a much longer post than normal so thanks if you have managed to read right down to the end and please do let me know any thoughts or comments you may have.


Mistress Marie said...

Thank you for the reply and post. It was so interesting to me to read and if we were in the UK I bet I could have David femmed daily too but here it would not be perceived so openly and easily! I think it is wonderful that you have such support from your family in addition to Owner. That you can just be yourself in all aspects. And it is interesting the progress and transformation you have come through.

I too do not fit the sterotypical Domme. I often wear a nightgown or comfy clothes in the house. Or sometimes no clothes. You are right it is all in the mind!

Happy pet said...

Thank you Mistress Marie and i am glad you found it interesting. i trust the move went well?


top_kat said...

"This is an unending source of annoyance for Owner who, though She does own and occasionally wear such outfits, is much, much, much more likely to be administering discipline and punishments or teasing and tormenting Her wife wearing something comfortable and practical."

As a dominant female, I absolutely agree with your Owner here. It is an unending source of annoyance. The internet, the "online community", the BDSM porn that portrays dominant women as leather clad boot wearing has a lot to answer for.

It annoys me too. Your owner is not alone in that!



Happy pet said...

Thank you Top Kat and we both agree wholeheartedly.