A Conversation With My Father

i am now back home with Owner (yippee) having been separated for four days whilst i stayed down in Devon to visit my Dad in hospital. It is wonderful to be reunited with Owner and for life to temporarily return back to normal before i head west again for another hospital visit.

Yesterday, whilst i was visiting my Dad, i wheeled him in his chair for a drink in the hospital canteen. Whilst we were there we had a conversation that really moved me and which i wanted to share.

My Dad was reminiscing about when he was young (the thing with Alzheimers is that long-term memory can be excellent even if the short-term memory is non-existent).  He was reminiscing about his childhood and saying how difficult he found it with his own dad who was quite macho whereas my dad was not and was more feminine. 

My Dad said how he much preferred female company and had tried during his life to be in touch with his feminine side and how his dad had ridiculed him for this. I always knew he had a bad relationship with my grandfather (or Gan-Gan as i called him) and that my Dad had a difficult childhood.  He adored his mother but really disliked his dad who had also come back from the Second World War a total stranger to him and someone who was very mentally scarred by his wartime experience and took it out on his family.  

Anyway, my Dad said to me that i am a lot like him in that i am quite feminine but that i have got much more in touch with my feminine side than he ever was able to and that he was proud of me and loved me. 

It was such a lovely and surprising thing to hear him say. He and i also had a terrible relationship when I was young (we basically did not have one) but we gradually learnt to get along much better after my parents divorced when I was 18.

It's so nice to know he has 'seen' me and understands me in a small way. It is a conversation i will always treasure and remember. i am so pleased i got to have it with him.

 

When i relayed the conversation back to Owner She was very moved how interesting and touching it was that he had said that to me. 

 

Anyways, i just wanted to share it. 

Someone Knocking At The Door, Somebody Ringing The Bell

Owner regularly has parcels/packages delivered to Her flat comprising items She has ordered online. Depending on the courier used it is often the same person that turns up at our door and rings the bell to drop off the item. They have got to know me and appear not the least bit surprised when they are greeted by me wearing my domestic smock (if it is in the evening) or a short skirt and stockings and blouse if the daytime. One even regularly comments on my nail polish, chiding me if i am not wearing something bright and pretty.

These days, however, delivery companies have also taken to requiring that their couriers take pictures of the drop-off to prove that the package was delivered. As a consequence, it is now more common for Owner to receive images like this:

The above picture is me as photographed taking delivery of a package for Owner to show proof of delivery. As can be seen i am wearing my domestic smock with the lanyard of my 'permission to speak' badge around my neck and my bright pink nails on view.

So what? i hear you say.

Well, fast forward to Tuesday this week. The doorbell rang a little after 9am and i trotted downstairs in my working from home attire (micro skirt, fishnet stockings, blouse, pink nails and fluffy booty slippers etc) and opened the door. This time it was the post woman. She immediately thrust 4 parcels towards me. i opened the door fully so that i might take them from her and clutched the packages to my chest. The next instant her phone came out and she snapped what i could immediately tell was a full-length picture of me stood in the door way, delivery clasped to my bossom in my little skirt and fishnets.

The packages were from my Mum, Christmas presents. Well, i guess she would have received her own Christmas surprise when she got her delivery notification sent through to her, a picture of me, her son, in a very fetching little outfit :)

i was telling Owner what happened when She advised me that on one occasion, when I had not been at home and She had needed to receive a delivery Herself, the courier has apparently asked Her 'where was the other lady, the one with the nails that normally receives packages'. She meant me. How we both laughed. 

a different day, more pink nails

Anyway, the moral of all of this is remember to always look at your tarty best if you want to make an impression with friends and loved ones. Now, when will that google street view vehicle next be passing by? :) 

Time Away and Together

Owner and i were briefly parted for a few days over the last weekend when, as a belated 80th birthday present, i travelled with my Mum to Copenhagen where we met up with my sister (who joined us from Spain) to spend a few days in the city. i booked the three of us into an AirBnB. It would be my first time with just my mum and sister in years. What could possibly go wrong?

As it transpired, it went well. There was a mini-heatwave which meant that i was in shorts and light tops the whole time. So what? You might ask. Well it meant that my Mum got to see and ask questions about the tattoos on my body, especially the one on my upper right thigh that says 'Owned' and has Owners initials. Or the anklet tattoo with the half-moon pendant, symbolising femininity. Neither commented on the fact that i wore make-up the whole time of that the padded bra that i also wore was clearly visible at times through the thin cotton white blouse that i was wearing.

posing in Tivoli Gardens

Feasting on an enormous, hundreds and thousands coated ice-cream (i only managed 1/3 of it)

The whole time we were away it was also always me that was making breakfast, pouring drinks, washing up and cleaning/tidying the apartment i.e. my 'service-self' was also on full display.

It was lovely to be able to be seen by them as my 'true' slightly feminine and domesticated self.

Talking of feminine. The hot weather seemed to have brought half of Copenhagen out onto the canal and dockside in their bikini's (the women were mostly all topless) and swim trunks. The Danes are an annoyingly attractive bunch, tall, slim, golden tans etc and i have to confess to a pang of jealousy and envy that it wasn't me, out wearing my bikini too in the city centre too.

i really missed Owner whilst i was with my mum and sister and hated being apart from Her. Luckily, the trip did not last long and we were soon reunited again. She expects me to be by Her side and that is where i am happiest. There should now be no further periods when we are apart until Christmas.

This weekend it is my Dad's 83rd and so Owner and i are travelling down to Devon to see him. After that, my family obligations are over (i hope) for a good few months and i can keep my focus solely on serving Owner as Her wife and maid. We are hosting Her sister and her partner for a week in September which will also hopefully provide an opportunity to show my sister-in-law what a well-trained wife her sister has. i am already looking forward to waiting on them and helping make their stay an enjoyable and stress-free one.

Meanwhile, i leave you with a picture of me from earlier in the week when i was instructed to just wear a corset and my work blouse with nothing underneath for the day.

 

A Spontaneous Slut

Like many people i work a lot from home. This was true to an extent before the pandemic but then became normalised during the lockdown. Since then, whilst i do sometimes go into the office or attend face-to-face meetings and events, i try to keep such forays to a minimum. In part, this is because i know Owner prefers me to be at home as Her stay at home wife. 

At home you will pretty much always find me wearing a skirt during the day until i change into a tunic to do my household chores in the evening. At first i was terrified at the thought of being seen wearing such an outfit at home by anyone other than Owner. But that, as they say, was then.

Over the years many, many different service engineers, builders, electricians, decorators, delivery people etc have seen me dressed in what has become my normal everyday attire whilst i am at home. i have grown quite accustomed to interacting with them whilst fully made up wearing blouses, bras,  stockings and panties (with locked clit) that are quite visible beneath my typically short skirts,as i lead them upstairs into our apartment. What they make of me i don't know. Only one ever asked questioned me directly on the topic of what i was wearing, an electrician who asked if my wife knew - answer, yes of course!

Take today for example. We had a decorator due in. i was working home alone, Owner was in Her office. When he arrived i greeted him, ushered him into the flat, offered to make him a tea (so very English) and chatted for a bit with him all whilst wearing make-up, panties and bra, shortish skirt, hold-ups, blouse and a pair of flats - oh and with my hair tied up in a ponytail. This is pretty normal now for me

in our kitchen dressed in my usual attire

decorator painting in doorway behind me

As i say, this has become quite normal for me.

However, earlier in the week Owner instructed me to wear a corset under my work blouse with no skirt underneath. This was on another day when She was at Her office and i was working from home. You can see what i was wearing in the picture below, taken just after i had showered:

showing off my green corset

It was also a day when i knew we were expecting to receive at least two separate parcel deliveries during the day. Accordingly, i messaged Owner asking Her whether i should put a skirt on to receive the packages when they were delivered or to keep it? Her response came in the form of a gif which read, and i quote, "You're fine being a spontaneous slut". 

So a spontaneous slut i was. i answered the door wearing just my stockings, corset, bra, blouse and panties...oh and my pink chastity cage of course...but minus a skirt. i think the UPS man had a bit of a surprise when he saw me! i took immediately after taking delivery of the parcel

dressed as i was when i answered the door

i think it is fair to say that i was somewhat sluttily attired :)

Incidentally, a charity collector also rang the doorbell later in the day just when i was expecting the second parcel to arrive. They were also greeted by the sight of little 'ol me in the same outfit, or lack of! Maybe it will put off such annoying cold callers.

So the moral of the story is (aside from the fact that clearly i have none) that not only have i  grown to become comfortable wearing short skirts around strangers, but appearing half-dressed before them is not so terrifying either. Whatever next?

Spring is in the air...my sluttiness is rising

Hello all. Apologies (again) for the delay between posts. Owner and i have had a busy few weeks since returning from our Italy trip, including a trip to Spain to stay with Her family and visits to my mum and to my dad (more on that later) respectively. Add to that a really busy work period for us both and things have slipped a little.

However, fear not. A period of 'normality' beckons during which normal service will return. This week has already got off to a better start with the completion of my monthly outdoor challenge (rearranged from the 16th as that was when we were in Spain). The dice were rolled last night so i woke up knowing what i had to do, namely to stand at the bus stop next to our local park wearing high heels, shorts and my cat ear hair band on my head.

The weather was fine and this morning so i combined my heels and shorts with a pair of pretty tights, a light blouse and pretty pink bra. i could have chosen to walk to the park in regular trainers and then change into heels when i got there but i decided, being the slut i am, to walk to the stop and back wearing my heels. Anyway, it is good practice for walking in them them as the route involves walking up and downhill.

On the way i passed various people and was also passed by some cars and vans but my journey to the park bust stop was otherwise uneventful, i even paused on route to take some pics.  Anyway, i was at the bust stop and ready to take pictures within a few minutes of leaving home. 

Owner seemed very happy with my pictures when i sent them to Her, telling me i looked pretty, so i think She was pleased with how i got on. Photos taken i then retraced my steps and returned home. These are some of the pictures i took on my phone.  What do you think?

with an audience of one behind me

heading from our home to the bus stop near the park

On route to the park bus stop

As you can see i could not resist unbuttoning my blouse so that my pretty bra was visible. It would make for an interesting challenge to do this in just shorts and bra!

A number of people, and a bus, passed me whilst i was faffing about with taking pictures, i am trying to get better with walking with my head held high when dressed like this and holding eye contact with people if they look at me. i am definitely a lot less embarrassed of who and what i am when i do these challenges than used to be the case. 

There was a man who was working on his car on the opposite side of the bus stop who watched what i was up to the whole time. The more of these i do the more exciting (as opposed to terrifying - which was the case when i first did these) it is for me if i know there is someone watching me. i quite like the idea of posing in front of strangers. A few years ago, before the pandemic, Owner entered me into a cosplay event where i had to take to the stage in a maid's style outfit and do a little dance. i was terrified but on cloud nine at the same time, it was a real buzz. i guess that is what comes of being an exhibitionist slut at heart.

Aside from forgetting to smile in a couple of them i think they came out ok. It was quite a little thrill to do and to walk there and back. i think it is quite an appropriate outfit for me. None of the passing drivers gave me a honk this time though, perhaps it was the fact that i was wearing tights rather than stockings that held them back :)

Anyway, i hope i that my brief appearance in our neighbourhood today may have brightened some persons morning in one way or another just as i hope some readers derive some pleasure from the pictures of me.i love being an exhibitionist slut and i hope, under Owners' guidance, to become a better one.

Talking of appropriate outfits, as i mentioned at the outset i went down to stay with my Dad and his girlfriend this weekend. i visited alone as Owner had other things to catch-up with and, given the distance involved, my visit required me to stay overnight.

Now, i have previously met my Dad and his girlfriend with Owner whilst i was wearing light make-up and padded bra, and being in chastity. But this was the first time i stayed over so attired, re-doing my make-up after breakfast. i don't want to hide my true self but equally don't want to make a big thing of it either. i have never had a discussion about how i look or present with either or my parents but i  equally don't want to pretend or hide who i am. i feel most comfortable and more 'me' with make-up and bra etc than without. So that is how i presented myself. Not an eyelid was batted, at least not in my presence. It's a silly thing but it also feels like a bit of a moment, a bit of me just being 'me'. So that is one more line crossed. This is the picture i sent Owner as i was getting dressed in the morning at my Dad's

Proud to be Owner's Submissive Slut Wife

One of the things that i hope comes across in this blog is how happy i am to be owned by Owner and how equally how happy i have become in my own skin . Owner is a wonderful and extremely talented woman who excels in everything She puts Her mind to. Intelligent and creative as well as beautiful i can not envisage a life without Her. Indeed, i struggle to even recall or imagine the person i was and the life i used to live before we met.

Our life together has transformed me for the better. Through Owner i have been able to find and connect with the real me and realise who i truly am. She has guided me, encouraged me and helped me to grow into the person i have become. In my early fifties i feel happier, more self-confident and at one with myself than i have ever done in my life.

It was with Owner's guidance, encouragement and training that i have been able to embrace the real me, the feminine, submissive, slutty, exhibitionist self that i am. She taught me to obey and to serve Her. She liberated me by taking control of all aspects of my life. In doing so She helped me to become a better person than i was. She continues to train, coach, challenge, chastise and discipline me to help me become the best i can for Her, and for me.

She has given me the confidence, not simply to be me, but to be seen to be the real me. i am comfortable in my skin and not embarrassed to be seen as i really am. Take today for example. We had some workmen in all day doing electrical works. i was working from home and dressed as i always am on such days. i chatted with and discussed things with the two electricians, made them cups of tea, looking like this.

me today

In addition, i have also now spoken at two live conferences this past fortnight (with real audiences in front of me), not just zoom or similar such events. Again, on both occasions i had my make-up on, and a smart blouse with padded bra. The only difference in how i looked from the above picture being that i was not wearing my pink bell collar (it came off just beforehand) and i wore trousers over my knickers and chastity device instead of a skirt. Before and after i presented i mingled and chatted with the delegates who were nearly all suited and booted. One or two gave me a slight 'look' but none reacted negatively to the feminised speaker amongst them.

A year or two ago i would have toned it down. Worn a little less makeup and swapped out the padded bra for an unpadded one. Now i am proud to be who i am and be seen for who i am. i am proud when, in restaurants, Owner orders my food for me,  proud to have to check with Her and obtain Her permission before agreeing anything, proud to be disciplined by Her, proud to have been permanently inked with symbols of Her control over and ownership of me, proud to show the world what an exhibitionist slut i am, proud to be Her wife. i am a submissive, sissy slut and i am proud to be seen as such.

Most of all, however, i am grateful. Grateful to have an owner who is as loving, understanding, caring and creative as She is. i am a truly lucky and happy submissive slut.

And We're Back

Owner and i are now back in the UK after our trip to Spain to stay with Her family for New Year and Dia de los Reyes (Three Kings' Day). We both had a great time although it reaffirmed Owner's view that we really should buy a flat out there so that we have our own place to stay, rather than stay with Her parents, both of whom are lovely but Her mother is very much queen of her house and requires that anyone staying in her presence follow her rules to the letter. Owner's mother is a quite remarkable woman and one in whom it is easy to see where Owner gets Her dominant traits from. Not, that i am suggesting She dominates her husband in the same way that Owner dominates me, but she is very much in charge. In fact, all of the women in her family are very strong-willed and independent-minded. Owner has excellent genes in that regard!

It would, however, be wonderful to have our own place out there in which we could stay, if nothing else it might mean we could also be our 'usual selves' with each other. That is not to say that our own Femdom relationship 'switches off' whilst we are staying there, but it does definitely go into 'silent mode'. It would be marvelous to have a place of our own in which i could live according to Owner's rules, rather than her mothers'. 

That said, Owner did continue to rate my performance each day and, except for one day when my performance was ranked as quite unacceptable, i continued to get good feedback from Her. i was also in chastity throughout, as i will remain until at least mid-march when Her dice will decide my chastity state again.

One thing i immediately did, however, when we got back home was, after i had unpacked our suitcases and put the washing on, to re-apply my make-up and put my padded bra back on. Visits to Owner's family are now the only times when i do not wear make-up or a padded bra (having worn both to see my own parents in 2021). Owner did, however, make a passing reference to my feminine nature in the gifts She bought for me as part of Her family's Amigo Invisible ritual that plays out each year at Three Kings when gifts are given 'in secret' to a family member chosen at random at the start of December. It means you don't know who has got you your gifts as you all open them together until the mystery 'invisible friend' is revealed. The only rules of the ritual are that gifts should value approximately fifty euros i.e be affordable for all and not be extravagant.

This year, unbeknownst to me, Owner had got me as Her 'amigo invisible. However, it quickly became apparent to me when i opened my gifts with the rest of her family that they must have come from Owner. The reason? Well, i don't know who else in Her family knows my belly button is pierced and would have thought to get me a pretty piercing, or a gorgeous little coin purse or a pretty but practical rucksac. Not the sort of things all 51 year old men might expect to receive as presents, but ones that were ideal for me and which i loved and was happy to show-off to the rest of Owner's family - including with the new piercing in situ.

Anyway, we are now back in rainy London. i hope 2022 proves to be the year the world finally beats the pandemic and, who knows, perhaps it might also be the one in which Owner and i can start to plan for a place of our own in Spain as well.

Why i Wear What i Do

In a comment on one of my recent blog articles Evy asked:

Do you always wear fem clothes including underwear?
And what is for you the reason to wear them.

They are good questions which i seek to answer below.

Taking the first question, do i always wear fem clothes including underwear? The answer is that 99% of the time, yes i always wear fem clothes and 100% of the time i always wear fem underwear. Any clothes that i am permitted to purchase (and i am not allowed to purchase anything not agreed to by Her) or which Owner buys for me are always feminine clothes, without exception. What that means in practice is that all my clothes are always purchased from women's stores or from the women's section of a store i.e. my jeans, blouses, work blazers, shoes, coats, etc, etc are all women's. All of my old 'male' clothes were gradually discarded. The only male items of clothing i possess are some t-shirts and a couple of long-sleeve tops which only ever get worn when we visit Owners' family in Spain. They are not worn on any other occasion. Everything i wear at work or when visiting my own family or seeing friends etc is a women's item of clothing. 

None of my underwear is male. i did for a while retain one pair of boxer shorts for use when going to the doctor but even that has now been discarded. Not all of my knickers are sexy lacy affairs, some are quite plain and perfectly OK to wear for a medical exam. i normally always wear a padded bra at home and when Owner and i are going out at the weekend. At work i wear non-padded ones except if i am wearing one of my short-sleeve blouses which is slightly sheer. My ambition is to wear padded bras to work too.

So normal is it for me to wear women's clothing that i know exactly what sizes i am for which items. If interested i am wear UK size 8 shoes, wear UK size 10 /12 trousers, UK size 10 knickers, UK size 12/14 tops and wear size 38AA bras.

So, why do i wear women's clothing? When Owner first met me i did not - in fact She used to take the piss out of me for having such a drab boring wardrobe (think browns and grey) and that i only possessed about two pairs of shoes. Clothes were of no real interest to me and didn't bring me any particular pleasure. Before i knew Her i would sometimes wear women's knickers in secret but only occasionally. As a teenager i had dressed in my mum's clothes (with her knowledge) once or twice for fancy dress parties but that was that. In short it wasn't that Owner had met an active cross-dresser when She and i first met.

So what happened? Not long after we started dating i confessed in writing to Owner my desire to submit to Her and, to my eternal delight, She agreed. Neither of us had much idea what this might mean in practice and so we spent a lot of time trying different ideas and seeking others advice. One such person was a wonderful woman called Mistress 160 who was an active blogger at the time (and with whom we are still in touch yet have still never met - she lives on a different continent to us). Anyway, Mistress 160 was quite active on a fetish site Owner and i joined and she ran a forced feminisation group. Knowing by then that i did occasionally wear lingerie in secret Owner thought that this could be a good group for us to join. Over a period of time some outfits were purchased for me to be 'forced' to wear and her photograph and send to the group.

Unbeknownst to us both at the time, however, was that we had stumbled across and tapped straight into a deep-seated but essentially hidden (including to myself) desire on my part to be feminised. The clues were there but even so even i was surprised how quickly the change from 'forced' to 'willing' feminisation occurred. i was really shy and often quite embarrassed at first and would be pushed to do things, such as walk around Trafalgar Square wearing a basque or walk across Waterloo Bridge in heels. However, my initial fears soon subsided and being en femme started to become more and more normal. i began to wear bras and make-up and even started to go en femme to work. i realised two things very quickly.

First, for the first time in my life i liked what i looked like. These days i literally don't go out without make-up on and if for some reason i am not wearing any as far as i am concerned i no longer look like me and i don't like what i see. Equally, i love wearing women's clothing and though that more often involves tight jeans than skirts i love opportunities to wear the latter. i still get butterflies wearing skirts in public but if instructed to do so i do without hesitation. i really like how i look when dressed en femme and though i realise that sounds a very vain thing to say it is the truth. i never used to like what i looked like so now actually liking how i looked was quite novel for me.

The second revelation was discovering that the sky did not fall in if i dressed en femme. Living in London (or any liberal city) probably helps but i have worm make-up and women's clothes in many parts of Europe and Canada and the USA now and have never once had any issues. i obviously get the odd glance but it is rare that anyone will ever say anything. Nobody says anything at work nor has it affected my ability to present at conferences or workshops etc. i wear make-up, a blazer, blouse, bra, knickers and trousers and a pair of women's brogues and nobody either a) notices or b) cares.

In the early days Owner used my newly discovered enthusiasm for all things feminise against me as a form of punishment when required. She would deny me permission to wear certain items, force me to throw some it away for bad behaviour or prevent me from wearing make-up for a fixed period. These were hard but effective lessons.

Today my feminisation is an integral part of who i am. i don't think i could ever go back to how i was before and would not  willingly want to. For Her part Owner has been incredible. She met a vanilla man and ended up, quite literally, marrying a wife. At our wedding in Vegas i wore a pink dress with matching heels She had chosen for me and She wore a dark blue trouser suit with a blouse and bow tie.

Owner, however, is the ultimate arbiter of how far my feminisation goes. She decides what clothes i am permitted to buy and decides what might be appropriate for me to wear or not. She has grown accustomed to seeing me in make-up and women's clothes and regularly comments and compliments me on looking 'pretty'. However, Owner does not find the female body physically attractive nor does She like feminine smells and so would not permit me to ever physically alter my appearance (develop breasts for example) or wear perfume. i confess to fantasising about such things but fantasies they will remain. But i am incredibly lucky and fortunate to have met someone who has been so supportive of and embraced what was a rather unexpected journey on my part. i for one have never been happier than i am as a person now and love Owner even more for helping me reach such a point.

So there you have it, that is why i dress as i do. i adore it and Owner allows and encourages it.
 
i leave you with a picture of my 'dress down Friday home working outfit' taken today

Uniform Update

First a big thank you to those who commented via the blog or direct with ideas and suggestions for uniforms i could/ought to wear at home. Owner really loved some of the suggestions and they gave Her food for thought. She also sought ideas from me. Owner is still mulling some of the uniforms but She has determined what the first uniform i should wear on a regular basis is, namely my work uniform.

As many of you may know i work a lot from home, unlike Owner who has to go into an office every day. i do sometimes have to work at an office but i try to keep this to a minimum as much as i can. Owner believes my place is at home and we try to ensure i work from home as much as possible. Normally when i work from home i wear jeans and a top, actually i also often wear the same when 'in the office' - my organisation is quite relaxed. The only time i am semi-smart is when i am going to external meetings or giving presentations. Of course, at all times my attire is feminine in that all my work clothes are women's albeit i don't wear skirts/dresses at work. i also wear make-up at work and of course my collar is always on. i have never once received any comments from colleagues about this nor has my clothing, make-up or collar ever caused any adverse reaction in meetings/presentations.

However, Owner has decided that, when i work at home i am to wear a uniform. i have a number of smart blouses that very rarely get worn. i also have some smart skirts and a pair of women's suit trousers and a jacket. In addition, this weekend is my birthday - my 46th! i know i am getting some clothes store vouchers from members of my family (i always do) and Owner has chosen a smart skirt, a pair of women's business trousers and some blouses for me to buy with my vouchers. These, together with the smart items i mentioned i already have. will form my working uniform. They will be paired with a pair of ballet flats, that i also currently don't wear very often, and stockings.

i will wear my 'office uniform' at home throughout my working day, only getting changed when i head-out to go and collect Owner from the station when She returns from Her work. This may sound like my blushes will be spared and that people won't see me in my business skirt or in my plunging blouses. They will. First, i often bump into our downstairs neighbour during the day (we share a communal entrance) and second we regularly receive deliveries that need signing for and sometimes have bits of work being undertaken on the flat. All of this happens and is scheduled around when i am working from home. So in short, there will be plenty of people who will get to see me in my new business uniform and whom i will need to interact with.

Unusually, i am actually 'in the office' most of next week and so i will not be able to commence the home uniform wearing until the week after. i will post some pictures of me in my new office uniforms then.

i am really excited at this new development, though also a teensy bit nervous as well at the prospect of meeting people in my smart blouse and skirt. i can't wait to find out what uniform(s) Owner will decide She wants me to wear when my working day is done and i return to being Her housewife.

What To Wear?

The wonderful Mistress Marie left a comment recently asking whether i wore feminine clothes and make-up all the time, even when with relatives? Though i responded i thought the question of what we wear and when was an interesting one. Owner and i also discussed the question of clothing last night whilst we were out together, albeit this time talking about how Her attire is very different from that which women are so often depicted wearing on Femdom websites etc. The subject of clothing is what prompted this post.

What i Wear and When

Nowadays, with very few exceptions (which i shall come onto), i always wear women's clothing and full make-up, my nails are always painted, my shoes and coats are all women's ones and my underwear (if i am wearing any) is women's. My body is also accessorised with women's jewellery, rings, bangles, necklaces, ear-rings, a waist chain, nipple and belly jewellery, and of course my metal collar. My haircut is an androgynous one.

It wasn't always thus. When Owner and i first met i was the epitome of the Marks and Spencer's man (my apologies to non-UK readers for whom this may not mean anything). i always wore boring male clothes - usually dark jeans coupled with brown shoes and a brown or dark green jumper/top. My wardrobe, such as it was, was minuscule and very, very dull.

In contrast, the other week i was presented with an award at an event at work. The invitation said the dress-code was 'smart-casual'. i wore bright red trainers, black skin-tight jeggings and a pink blouse coupled with a white lace bra and panties and my usual make-up and jewellery. The other men all wore suit trousers, black shoes and a shirt. The women were rather more adventurous. Ten years ago i would have worn exactly what the men there were wearing. Soon after that i might have risked wearing women's underwear under my 'male' attire. Five years ago all of my clothing would have been female and my collar would have been in view. A few years ago you would also have seen some make-up on me if you'd looked closely. In short, how i dress now is very different from how i once did.

It is only very rarely that i will wear a dress or skirt in public but doing so doesn't fill me with terror as once it did. My attire is feminine but fairly androgynous. i don't try to pass as a woman but i don't dress like a man either. But i am very comfortable and happy with how i look - whatever that look may seem to others. Whereas once Owner used to be able to successfully punish and humiliate me by making me wear make-up in public now one of Her most effective punishments is to refuse to let me wear any make-up at all!

There are a few specific occasions though when i don't dress like that, when the make-up is voluntarily absent and you when you will find me wearing a male top (though still with women's trousers, shoes, underwear and all my jewellery on) and that is when we go to Spain to visit Owners parents and family. i suspect it would not bother them at all really if i did turn-up one day in the arrivals lounge at the airport wearing make-up and a blouse, but i can't imagine i ever would. It is not something i feel a need to do (i.e. i don't feel the need to look a bit feminine in every situation in life) and i wouldn't want to cause Owner any embarrassment either. She has been incredibly supportive and accepting of the fact that the man She first met all those years ago looks quite different from the wife She now has. It is Her that chooses or approves all of my clothes purchases, buys me make-up etc. In short, She couldn't have been more accepting of my femininity. But Her family has never seen or known me as that so why (for the sake of one or two weeks a year) make an issue out of nothing - i am happy to be in 'boy' mode in Spain.

That said, on one of my first trips to Spain soon after Owner and i first moved in together we arrived during one of the festival weeks. It was expected that you had to go out into town in fancy dress. Of course, the character i chose was female (Morticia) and so got to not only wear a dress tat night but also had Owner and Her sister do my make-up.

With my own parents and sister things are somewhat different. i make no attempt to wear 'boy' clothes (the couple of boy tops that are the only remaining males clothes i have are for Spain alone these days) and tend to either tone down my make-up or not wear any (if i am staying over i don't bring any with me). My parents have, however, seen me wearing make-up. Both have, on occasion, commented that i look a bit feminine but neither have ever made it an issue and, the last two Christmases the tops that my sister has bought me as presents have been women's tops.

In short, whereas my feminisation started 'forcibly' it very, very quickly became something that, to me at least, is completely normal. i love wearing women's clothes and make-up and, on the whole, think nothing of it. i don't look like a woman and don't try to pass as a woman but enjoy trying to look what Owner describes as 'pretty'. That said, i will and do revert to a sort of 'boy' mode on very rare and very specific occasions.

It seems funny to look back and think about how terrified i once used to be at being made to wear make-up. To illicit the same horrified (but fascinated) response now would entail being told that i had to go out and walk around in nothing but lingerie and a see-thru plastic coat. Maybe just like one of these that you can buy in Top Shop. Now there's a delicious thought!

Owners Outfits

If you believe the Internet then all dominant women in 24/7 Femdom/FLR relationships always wear tight leather/rubber skirts and corsets and stockings and heels, right? This is an unending source of annoyance for Owner who, though She does own and occasionally wear such outfits, is much, much, much more likely to be administering discipline and punishments or teasing and tormenting Her wife wearing something comfortable and practical.

At home Owner is most likely to be found in a pair of fluffy slippers, tracksuit bottoms and a loose top. In bed She wears pyjama trousers and a t-shirt and out of the house She will normally always be found in jeans, and a blouse or other long-sleeved top. If anyone at home is wearing a short skirt, heels and no knickers or a lace nightie in bed it is me, not Her. i suspect Owner is far from being alone in dressing like this. Quite rightly She wears what She likes and feels most comfortable in - just as She chooses what clothes She likes for me.

However, the Internet is replete with images of Dominant women that are essentially just male fantasies. What annoys Her most is where depictions of supposedly 24/7 Femdom relationships also have the Dominant woman wearing the same types of clothes. Maybe there are such couples out there where the woman always looks and dresses that way but i imagine the reality is closer to how Owner dresses. It is a shame that there are not sites or images that depict this as Owner, i know, initially struggled at the start of our relationship with thinking that She somehow ought to dress and look very differently to that She was comfortable with. This isn't to say that She doesn't sometimes dress-up in Her most alluring and glamorous lingerie, She does. But not on a day-to-day basis as some sites would have you believe is how a Dominant woman should always look. Dominance is a state of mind, it is not a look.

i am conscious that this is a much longer post than normal so thanks if you have managed to read right down to the end and please do let me know any thoughts or comments you may have.

Incidents and Updates

A couple of mildly interesting/amusing events occurred over the past week. The first was that during a work visit to the offices of another organisation i am working on a project with i was mistaken by their receptionist for a woman. This is about the first time this has ever happened as though i now always wear make-up and women's clothes at work (and have done for quite a while now) as well as outside work, my work clothes are not overly feminine, mostly blouses/tops and jeans. In fact, on this occasion as my day involved a formal work meeting i had actually slightly toned down my make-up a little. Thus, i was pleasantly surprised when, on walking into the reception area accompanied by a colleague of mine who is female the receptionists looked up and said ' Good morning ladies, how can I help you?' Made me smile anyway. [edit - Owner says the receptionist must have been blind]

The second, and altogether more amusing incident occurred this weekend. My Dad and his partner came to stay with Owner and i for a few days. As usual i made sure that i tidied away all of the objects and artefact's that would normally be found in full view in our flat but which you might not want your parents to see. Thus, the floggers, canes, crops, queening stool, clamps, heavy collars, 'slut daily chores' list etc were all tidied away out of sight. However, it is easy to forget how second nature some of my everyday activities have become and how i don't really even register anymore that, to another person, they may seem a little out of the ordinary. So it was that it didn't even occur to me that the sight of me standing up in the kitchen eating my breakfast out of a dog bowl might seem a little strange to my father! In short, i had become so used to the fact that i am expected to always eat out of a dog bowl that it didn't even register with me that doing so in front of my Dad might not be appropriate. Oh well, it goes down as another amusing incident in which i have accidentally incorporated family members into Owner and my lifestyle - as when, many years ago, i accidentally emailed my parents and my sister the Xmas present list that was intended solely for Owner. Needless to say i never did get a butt plug that year from my mum!

This weekend also marked the passing of the deadline for my compliance with Owners training and development plan for me - Her 'plin, plan, plon' as She calls it. Readers will recall that over the past three months Owner has been assessing and monitoring my performance against the outcomes set out in the plan. If i am deemed to have passed the plan new training and development tasks be introduced and added to those already set out in the plan. Owner has stated that She needs time to review and consider my performance and compliance and that i can expect to receive notification from Her by the end of the week as to how satisfactory or otherwise my progress has been and what will happen next. i will keep you posted.

For My Owner - Thankyou

Last night Owner and i went back to the same restaurant in West London we have been back to every year for the past seven years for yesterday marked seven years to the day since we both laid eyes on one another at Bond Street tube station. What began as a casual acquaintence on the web, moved from a virtual to a real friendship that day. OK, it would take another 6 months and a bold public move by Owner before we progressed from just being friends to something a little more than that. That too was soon followed by a letter and an invitation from me to Owner that really marked the beginning of the Femdom journey we continue to travel along. But, it ALL began those 7 years ago when we first met. Thank you Owner for giving me the best 7 years of my life and for many more to come.

To further mark the occasion of our 7-year milestone Owner and i have reviewed our development as respectively Owner and pet/slut and Owner has set down some learning and development objectives which i wanted to share with you. We both believe there is no end point in this, our evolution as a couple, but rather we both hope that in 40-50 years time if we're still alive!! we'll still be trying new things or developing new ideas and freaking out the other residents and staff in the home for the dazed and confused. So, as i said, this is about a journey and the following sets out some of our ambitions for the next stage of our journey. Hopefully, this blog will reflect some of those ambitions - but life has taught us both that there will be many deviations, dead-ends and contraflows along the way. But, enough of all that, here's a brief summary of where we both think we've journeyed from and where we are headed at this, our 7 year marker. It is broken down into 3 broad categories (needless to say i am stupidly excited - oh and apologies for the formatting which has gone to hell). Anyway, the resulting review read as follows:

1.    FEMDOM Relationship Progress to date The original Femdom relationship between Owner and pet was based on a contract that was reviewed every 6 months.  Probationary periods were established to assess pet’s progress. There were rules and punishments that were applied when the rules were broken. Then we moved into a more ‘flexible’ relationship because we focussed on those aspects that we both enjoyed more and we left behind those that we didn’t like that much or were unpractical. We also discover that a 24/7 Femdom relationship is not totally possible:  work, family, illnesses ... all of them get in the way.  However, the trick in order to make it work is to resume our Femdom routine as soon as possible. Our roles have become more defined:  Owner has become more sexually dominant (has total control of sex scenes) and pet has become more sexually submissive (follows instructions in sex scenes).  Equally, in day to day situations, pet would seek approval/permission from Owner as a matter of fact.  The ownership symbols have increased from a simple leather collar to various pieces of jewellery that are worn full time. Sex has also changed and strap on sex that started as an experiment has now become the norm these days as it suits both Owner and pet Future Development – general behaviour Pet to move towards the role of slutty ‘trophy’ wife •           Continue to develop as a whore •           Do as told at home and in public •           Follow instructions without questioning Owner to aid pet’s development •           Through challenges both at home and outdoors •           Be more vocal when behaviour is not up to standard •           Keep control of the household and delegate as she sees fit Future Development – Ideas to be implemented Whore training •           More advanced dildo/pussy/nipple play at home and in public •           Dressing like a whore in public •           Have pussy trained to accommodate bigger dildos Submissive behaviour •           Create new list of daily/weekly task •           Services to Owner:  pedicure/foot rubs, cooking, baking, cleaning – all to return •           Wear chastity device as requested Ownership symbols •           To continue wearing the existing ones plus a new ankle chain •           Possibility of getting new tattoos – to be earned through good behaviour Sex •           Re-explore queening chair scenes •           Install a suction dildo in each room in the new flat so slut has no excuse for not sucking cock immediately and on command •           Carry a dildo and pussy plug in her make-up kit and keep it with her at all times should Owner wish her to use 2.    Sadomasochism Progress to date Owner has hugely enjoyed being able to express her sadist nature freely.  Equally pet, being a masochist has enjoyed being experimented on.  Sadomasochism is part of who we are as individuals and as a couple so it has been great for us to share and explore this side our ourselves. Through the years a number of toys and implements have been bought and used during scenes and Owner and pet have had lots of fun with various activities: •           Nipple torture •           CBT •           Caning/flogging/spanking •           Hair pulling •           Bondage Also, there have been occasions where toys or implements and simple household things have been used for sadomasochistic play.  We have become really good at finding new uses for common objects such as:  spoons, chopsticks, elastic bands, hair grips, pegs, brushes etc We have realised that health and mood have an impact on SM play.  However, we are both quite good at coming back into it as soon as we feel better. Future Development – general behaviour •           Continue to experiment with toys and implements •           Increase pet’s endurance to pain and Owner’s experimental sessions •           Sadomasochistic side to be exploited in public as well as in private Future Development – Ideas to be implemented •           Caning/flogging/spanking sessions to be re instated and combined with whore training and to increase in intensity •           Experiment with toys that have been forgotten for a while: o          Humbler o          Parachute •           Sensation play o          Electro nipple-clamps o          Electro CBT •           Bondage rope as ornament/outfit •           Golden showers •           Increased nipple and clitty endurance by use of additional clamps and weights •           Face slapping 3.    Feminisation Progress to date Slut has developed from being very shy/nervous and forced to explore her feminine side to one that has embraced feminity and is eager to explore ways in which to further develop it. Over the past years: •           Slut has commenced wearing make-up daily and keeps all her nails (feet and hands) polished – the only exception being when visiting family •           Slut’s wardrobe is now ¾ made-up entirely of women’s clothing.  Slut wears women’s clothing most of the time, the only exception being to formal work meetings + visiting family.  However, outside of home slut wears women’s jeans with skirts being reserved for at home •           Slut only wears women’s underwear except for when visiting the doctor or physio and wears a bra at weekends and on Wednesdays and Fridays •           Slut regularly wears nipple, waist + wrist chains and bracelets. •           Slut has grown her hair long •           Slut shaves regularly to stay smooth and hair free on her torso, legs and pubic area Pet’s feminity is part of our lives and we greatly enjoy it.  Owner enjoys pet’s feminine side because of the ‘hybrid’ look – a man wearing sexy women’s clothes.  At the same time pet can freely express this side of his personality. An interesting fact is that pet refers to himself (herself) using the feminine gender while Owner refers to him using the masculine gender.  This happens especially during scene – it has never been a problem, on the contrary we both seem comfortable with it. Future Development – general behaviour To become more feminine in appearance and behaviour •           To accessorise more •           To try to look pretty at all times and make Owner proud of her as Her trophy wife •           To be proud to be pretty and girly and not care what others may think or say •           Show off her body like a slut Future Development – Ideas to be implemented •           Women’s clothing to include smart wear for formal work meetings •           Have ears pierced and expect to wear ear-rings of Owner’s choice •           Wear a waspie/cincher/corset during the day – whether in public (work included) or private when requested •           Return to wearing heels at home and wear heels in public more often •           Keep hair neat and tidy at all times and at weekends use bows, bands or clips to keep hair in bunches or in a tail •           Replace wallet with a purse •           Create a travel kit for make-up and carry it about her at all times should Owner wish her to apply •           Wear skirts in public on occasions

Guests, Politics and Ramblings

The past couple of weeks have witnessed remarkable change, protest and state violence across swathes of North Africa and the Middle East which has had me totally transfixed. The temptation to log-on to find out what the latest drama is rather than do some much needed housework has all too often been too great and, as a consequence, i have not been as good a pet at times as i could be. Owner has been remarkably tolerant of this, knowing that i am quite a political pet. However, i know that it is not good and something i need to try and moderate and control to ensure it does not have too great an impact upon my own duties and service.

We have also had a succession of family guests staying the past couple of weekends which has meant hiding lots of toys etc away and limited opportunities for me to dress-up whilst they are here, though if they could see what i am wearing underneath my 'regular' clothes they might be surprised! That said, however, Owner and i have had the week days to ourselves and Owner has been continuing Her regular caning and nipple torture training and the other day combined these wonderfully after work before fucking Her slut hard. Owner now likes to have me prepare myself for Her by getting me to fuck my own pussy with my fingers and hand whilst She watches. She greatly enjoys watching me show Her what a complete whore i am before using and treating me as one Herself. She also recently had me perform another public challenge, this time getting me to walk around our local pub with my nipples clamped and rubbing my titties through my blouse as i walked around the bar area. It was delightfully humiliating! i now find that i have reached the point where i will happily undertake such challenges without worrying anymore about others reaction to what i am doing so i guess i must be learning how to obey without hesitation.

It has also now been well over a month that i've been kept in denial and gone without orgasm, again this is somthing of a new record and one that i am pleased about. Owner regularly swaps between chatity devices keeping me in the spiked metal device at weekends or during canings and delighting in having me masturbate my clitty until it is painfully hard, with the metal spikes digging deep into vulnerable flesh, and then swapping back to the CB3000 at night and on weekdays.

Owner now also regularly buys me or gives me make-up to try or test. i never imagined in my wildest dreams that i would find such a wonderful partner and Owner as Her who delights in having Her partner femmed and pretty. i feel and am so lucky! How long ago it seems now when i took my first horrified and humiliating trip outside wearing a touch of make-up or wearing a feminine top. Apart from at work (and even then 80% of the clothing i wear is feminine or androgynous) or when seeing family i am never out of make-up and dressed-up whether at home or out and about. It now feels the most natural and normal thing in the world and i love it. And Owner has truly discovered and released the inner slut/whore inside me. In short, life is wonderful...but i need to get better at avoiding distractions!

One Small Step For poppet - GULP!

The last of Owners challenges for this round of the World Cup have now been drawn courtesy of the results of the recent elimination round and they will, this weekend, see me going where i have never been before (though i have dreamt about and desired for sometime). In short, at some point this weekend i will be walking across London's Waterloo Bridge in my red stilleto heels and wearing my black short skirt, albeit on top of a pair of jeans. i've never before worn a skirt in public (apart from at a club or other 'safe' event) and whilst i know that wearing it on top of jeans is not exactly fully en femme, it is the first time i will have ever worn a skirt in public and not at an event.

i am thrilled, excited and also nervous at the prospect as, who knows, i may bump into someone i know whilst wearing my skirt. The deal with Owner is that i have to wear it for a minimum of 30 minutes. In a way it is the last taboo of my public femming. i'm now used to wearing make-up in public, girly tops, bras and even walking in heels in public is not new. But the skirt is. To me it will mark a personal landmark and something i have wanted to be able to do for a long-time and i am grateful (i think!) to Owner for giving me the opportunity.

Over the course of the weekend i will also have some more public challenges to complete, such as showing off my bra in public three times on Bond Street (that courtesy of Japan losing on penalties in their match), going naked into our garden and masturbating using only a pair of chopsticks and shopping whilst wearing nipple clamps and a butt plug. However, all of these i have done before in some form or other (yes even the chopsticks - though not outside). Needless to say this feels to me like a momentous weekend because of the skirt challenge. i have remarked in the past to Owner how i would like to be made to wear a skirt in public and this weekend's red high heels and black skirt combination across Waterloo Bridge (there and back) will certainly put my desire and resolve to the test! It now seems an age ago that i used to 'die' with embarrassment at the prospect of wearing make-up in public, something i now do all the time outside of work without batting an eyelash. Wearing a skirt really does though feel like the last of the acts i need to complete before my public feminisation is complete.

Now that the World Cup is coming upto the quarter finals tonight was time to draw the next set of teams out of Owners hat. The same rules apply, if they lose i will have to complete more challenges, albeit ones even more challenging than those already drawn for the previous rounds of the competition. i have drawn the following teams;

• Brazil
• Germany
• Uruguay
• Spain

Obviously my desire is to see them all lose as i crave public challenges and can't wait to see what Owner may devise for these. However, whether i will be so excited at the prospect when it comes to actually completing them remains to be seen.

Meanwhile though i have my high heels and skirt challenge to accomplish. i'll just try to make sure that as i step out along my very public catwalk that i put my best foot forward, try not to fall over and enjoy my long desired opportunity to strut my stuff and show the world (well at least that part of it that happens to be crossing the River Thames at the time) what a girly slut i am! Nervous? Moi? You bet!