Completely Unacceptable

Regular readers of this blog will know that about eight months ago Owner put me on a training programme to develop into Her ideal wife. The programme consists of a series of phases and only after i have successfully completed one phase and demonstrated i can maintain the standard and change in behaviour She expects am i permitted to ‘advance’ to the next stage, Each new stage come with new expectations and demands of me whilst, obviously i am also expected to maintain the standards etc attained in the previous stage. Owner calls this development plan my ‘Plin, Plan, Plon’ and i am currently at stage 3.

So far, with the odd slight relapse or failing on my part, we have both been very pleased with my development. We both feel that i have improved significantly in this time period in my submission to Her and my evolution as Her ideal wife. We also recognise that this is an ongoing project and one that, at each stage, will further ratchet up the degree of my submission and push me further and harder to become an even better wife for Her. In the almost nine years we have been together (just under eight of which have been spent living a Female-Led relationship) it has been these past 8 months since the creation of Owners first ‘Plan’ that have seen my most marked development and improvement. It has been far more effective a training programme than i think either of us ever first imagined. What is more, i love how i have developed and want nothing more than to keep develop-ping further and further, to submit myself ever more deeply to Owner and continue to progress and evolve into the wife She deserves. Owner too has been equally pleased with how my submission to Her and transition into Her wife has progressed. In short, things had been going really well.

All this makes this next part really hard to understand. This weekend just gone all of that went wrong. Owner and i unfortunately had to spend the weekend in different countries due to family circumstances – and we both really hate being apart from one another. I said goodbye to Her Saturday morning and we weren’t reunited until the Monday afternoon. However, when we were reunited Owner was justifiably bitterly disappointed about how i had behaved in our absence. Specifically, i had;

• Left expired food in our fridge
• Allowed bread to go mouldy in the bread bin
• Had not emptied the bins before i left to visit my family
• Whilst away had consumed alcohol without having been given prior permission to do so by Owner
• Spent money buying a picture for the flat without either seeking Owners permission to spend money or consulting Her first about the picture
• Had not texted Her on the Sunday morning to request Her approval to wear the clothes i had got out to wear that day

i too was mortified that i had allowed things to go so completely wrong. Owner questioned whether i was actually committed or not to the Plan and to my development? i sought to reassure Her that indeed i was and have re-doubled my efforts this week to ensure i act and behave exactly as i should and as She should rightly expect me to. Although, this episode excepted, we have both been of the opinion that i had developed and improved a lot i had clearly become terribly complacent and had completely let Her down this weekend. i have a lot to do to demonstrate to Her that i am indeed completely serious, as i am, at wanting to develop and to behave and act exactly as expected as Her wife.

Owner is still deciding what the consequences of my actions (or lack of) will be. However, for me the worst consequence has already occurred, i have caused Her to question my commitment to developing as Her wife. This shames and mortifies me greatly. i know that my actions will speak more loudly than any words and so i just hope that i can prove and demonstrate to Owner that, although totally unacceptable, my behaviour was an aberration on an otherwise continually improving and developing path.