We're Back - and a Milestone Passed

Owner and i are, sadly, back from our trip to South West Finland. We both had a wonderful time and would thoroughly recommend that part of the world to anyone looking for a holiday. The archipelago is stunning with its thousands of islands, only a small fraction of which are inhabited. There are also lots of gorgeous little beaches and woodlands/forests to walk through and bogs to traverse (mostly on wooden planks thankfully). There is also the lovely city of Turku to explore together with the fabulous old wooden houses in Rauma further up the coast (see images further down).

Owner left the holiday planning to me this time and congratulated me on my choice of holiday location and accommodation. i was a little anxious as normally it is Her that chooses and arranges such things but at the time She was going through a stressful period as She was changing jobs and so instructed me to make all the arrangements. i was relieved when She expressed Herself to be more than satisfied with the place i had chosen.

By the time it finally came for us to head off on our holidays i too was really quite stressed, a combination of trying to sort things out helping my elderly father move home and sort out all of his affairs (he has dementia), together with a busy and pressurised period at work. As a result of this Owner decided that i needed a complete rest and so whilst we were away i was excused from doing chores. She did all the cooking, relegating me to simply doing breakfast and cleaning dishes after meals and the driving. We actually clocked up fewer kilometers than we often do on our holidays with the hire car clocking in at a little shy of 1,500km traveled over the 14 day period. i was also even allowed a few drinks whilst we were away, although obviously not when driving, and even got to choose what to order from a restaurant menu rather than have Owner decide for me. In short, She was still in charge but decided to give me a lot more freedom than i would normally expect.  

Whilst we were away Owner commented how nice it would be if She were to have a younger sub who could do all the in-holiday cooking and the driving for us allowing us both a bit of downtime. Obviously, that person would need to cover their own expenses, even better would be for them to pay for the privilege of being with us! So, if anyone is reading this and thinks they'd make a good candidate as Owner's submissive assistant then please do drop me a line.

Anyway, back to our time away. Owner made clear that my 'time off' was strictly time limited and that too much of it would undo any of the good that a bit of R&R might achieve. i would be expected to resume my duties on our return. In truth, i also found that i missed my routines and chores. There is something therapeutic about doing them. i also missed the control i normally feel Owner exerting over me on a daily basis. Of course it was still in place but Her 'leash' was a lot less tight that it normally is.

Now that we have returned i am back to my usual routines and chores. In a way it is like slipping on a pair of comfortable shoes. It feels familiar and 'right'. The holiday was wonderful but, as Owner pointed out, too much relaxation is not good for me at all.

We returned late Saturday. The following day, Sunday, saw the passing of a little milestone in my life. Yes, yesterday Sunday 4th April 2023 was exactly one year, 365 days since i last had an orgasm of any type, accidental or forced, ruined or non-ruined. That last orgasm having occurred on the same date in 2022. No semen has leaked or shot out of my little caged clit since and i am all the hornier and happier for that fact.

i suspect a good many readers will struggle with the idea that being kept denied like this is something to aspire to but for me it definitely is the case. i love the mental state this leaves me in. The constant, low level, ache for a release that never comes. My orgasmic desires have gone. Even when released from my cage for cleaning i feel no desire at all to touch or play with my clit. My chastity device is not there as a means of preventing me from masturbating as that would not happen even were it not in place.  Rather, to me it serves a psychological and practical purpose and function. It reinforces the point that my clit serves no sexual function or purpose, either to me or to Owner. It has not been inside Her pussy for almost fifteen years and i cannot now imagine a future circumstance in which it ever might be so allowed again. In effect, i became a born again virgin in my late thirties.

Owner used to permit me to cum quite often. Sometimes i would just get over excited and frantically ask Her if i might be allowed to, to which She would invariably say yes. Other times She would quite deliberately make me cum with Her hand, pumping my little swollen appendage until it popped. Then one day She discovered that if She beat me hard on my 'labia plums' She could make me climax in a manner quite unlike anything i had experienced before. The experience was so overwhelmingly intense (going from acute pain to acute pleasure) that i would literally howl as i exploded. Owner began to restrict how i orgasmed to using this method alone. At the same time She also used such experiences to reinforce my status as Her slut, telling me loudly and repeatedly what a whore i was and to cum like a whore as She beat one earth-shattering climax after another out of me. Such occasions served to further my growth and development as Her slut wife by teaching me to behave like a whore. It also led me to acquire even more of a taste for semen that i already had as She would scoop up my resultant mess and feed it to me after each orgasmic explosion. And i created a LOT of mess.

Such spectacular releases were, from my perspective, wonderful to experience in the moment but always then led to an inevitable drop in my performance as Her submissive. They also always left me feeling a little disappointed that i had climaxed. Part of me longed to be left horny, frustrated and denied. i have always felt that my own orgasm serves only to distract me from my true purpose, namely to pleasure Owner. For Her part i believe Owner enjoyed making me climax this way and seeing what a whore She could make me become. However, it also gradually became apparent that so successful had this 'training' been that this behavior could be coaxed from me without the accompanying sexual 'motivation'. i slowly became more 'whore-like' whenever She wanted me to as i overcame my inhibitions and shyness and learnt to embrace the slut She expected of me, and which deep-down i truly am.

It no longer required me to climax hard in order for me to connect with the slut i am.  i developed, evolved and grew into behaving like a slut without the need for accompanying orgasmic 'highs' to unlock that side of me.

i have now been developed and trained by Owner to a point where the absence an orgasm of any type for a full year seems like the logical next step in my progression as Her sex toy and slut wife. i have no desire to have an orgasm and it now feels quite natural that i should not have been granted any this past year. Of course i still get horny, my 'natural state' is actually one in which i feel almost constantly semi-aroused. My breasts and nipples have become increasingly  sensitive and love to be touched and caressed as too do my labia plums.  My 'pussy' also opens up at the slightest touch or caress and loves nothing more than to be stretched wide and stuffed deep. 

For Her part Owner regularly fondles, gropes and caresses my buttocks and strokes the entrance of my pussy or grabs and squeezes my labia plums. The nipple chain She got me also leaves my tits in a state of constant, swollen arousal and She will often touch or caress them. When She uses me for sex She still touches, beats and caresses me in a way that gets my clit excited and aroused but now She does so only to tease and excite, not to make or force me to cum. Whenever it looks like i might start enjoying myself a little too much She stops and ensures that my focus and sexual energies are on Her and not myself.

Perhaps i have also already experienced my last ever orgasm? It is something i have long fantasised about and, to an extent, craved. To be kept permanently denied until the day i die. After all, my sole sexual purpose is to pleasure Owner in a manner of Her choosing and to be Her human sex toy.

i have no idea whether or not Owner will make me cum again. She might do but then equally, She might not. All i do know is that i have come to realise that the longer i am kept denied the happier and the better person i become. Just as i love my born again virgin, cock-less, chaste, feminised, slut self so too do i have i come to realise that the longer i go without experiencing an orgasm the more wonderfully, frustratedly aroused i become. To be kept in such a state by Owner is a true privilege. i am a very lucky slutty wife indeed!

Anyway, as promised some pics from the last days of our trip to Finland 

Rauma church

Rauma old town

Owner leading the way