What An Amazing 24/36Hours

Wow, what can i say. In the past 24 hours Owner has had me caged, clamped and penetrated; instructed me to display myself in public and then pissed in my mouth and all over me. If that were not exciting enough, tomorrow morning will mark my 500th day of orgasm denial.

It all began yesterday when i worked from home whilst Owner was in town in Her office. The day itself was uneventful. In between meetings i swept and mopped all of the floors, did my chores and ran an errand for Owner. It was what happened after work that my day became more 'interesting'.

Owner had a long-standing dinner engagement with 'Her boys', two former colleagues of Hers. It was agreed that whilst She ate out and caught up with them i would be locked into my cage, dildo inserted, mouth gagged and weights and bells suspended as per usual. As usual the surveillance camera was also on so that Owner could observe me in my cage/dog kennel if She chose to. To cut a long-story short ended up spending two and a half hours caged like this

nipples at full stretch

'pussy' stuffed

Needless to say my nipples were left thoroughly stretched (and throbbing) and my pussy too!

Owner and i were reunited when i met Her at the train station to greet Her and carry Her bag home after She had finished Her meal and took the train home.

Fast forward to today, the 16th of the month, dice day! Yay. At breakfast it was time to roll not just Owners' outdoor challenge dice but also Her chastity dice as well. The last time i rolled Owners' chastity dice was three months ago when it instructed me to remain unlocked for three months. This time Her same chastity dice decided that....drumroll...i stay unlocked for another month 😥. Owner was happy with the outcome as She likes to have me unlocked at times. Whatever She decides, or in this case the special dice She created, obviously goes so unlocked i remain until at least the 16th October when Her chastity dice will decide whether or not i am to be locked back up again.

Next it was the turn of Her outdoor challenge dice to be rolled. These dice determined that i should wear 'formal office attire' at the local light railway station - a location i have visited a few times this year in a variety of outfits for different outdoor challenges. 

i struggle to do 'formal' - so this is my interpretation of a formal office look. What made me laugh was throughout the time i was posing in and around the railway station the station PA system kept announcing that CCTV was in operation for everyone's security and safety - i wonder what the operators of the CCTV made of me?

Here i am, completing my challenge as instructed. 

a cheeky flash from the office tart

Yesterday, whilst mopping the floors, i somehow managed to break the head of the mop so, photo challenge completed, i headed to the supermarket to buy a new one before heading back home.

me and my new mop

But, the excitement and fun was not over Owner. After we had each finished work Owner provided me with a special treat. She pissed in my mouth and all over my body! In Her own words She "showered me with Her love". 

Here i am waiting in the shower as Owners human piss pot for Her to fill my mouth and drench me with Her most special of treats

And then here i am covered in piss and having had the most delicious drink, as well as a wonderful close up view of Owners beautiful pussy - a rare privilege. Obviously, no touching was allowed, all i can do is admire its beauty

Finally, at almost exactly 7am UK time tomorrow morning (Thursday 17th September) i will have started my 500th day in a row (16.4 months) without having experienced an orgasm of any type 🎉🎉. i am so grateful to my wonderful Owner for shepherding me past this point and gifting me such an extended period of orgasm denial. i find it interesting that, despite my current unlocked state, i experience zero temptation to touch let alone masturbate my clit. i am by default now naturally chaste.

Obviously, it is entirely for Owner to decide but having reached the 500 days of denial mark maybe my dreams of becoming permanently denied might, perhaps, come true?? Although the expression be careful what you wish for definitely does come to mind as i type this, as too does the knowledge that Owner will always do whatever She wishes with my body, as is Her right.

Anyway, back to the here and now i have chores to complete, massages to provide for Owner and dinner to prepare. That's all from me for now.

p.s. i don't know if it is a blogger issue or just one affecting my blog but the 'reading list' hasn't been updating properly lately so please accept my apologies. Hopefully it will be working properly again soon.

One Year Of Orgasm Denial

Today marks 365 days since my last orgasm of any sort i.e. full or ruined. Whoop, whoop - go me! 🙌🎉🎉

Yep, Monday the 5th of May 2025 was the last time my little clit made an unfortunate mess. It was a Bank Holiday and Owner instructed me to 'cum like a slut' as i masturbated whilst greedily gagging on Her 'cock'. You can read all about it in this blog post recounting the day here. Twelve months later and my little labia plums remain un-emptied. i truly hope that i am kept in this state of denial for the rest of my life. 

i have, as always, my Owner to thank. i am so incredibly grateful to Her for keeping me in this most wonderful denied state, one that feels so appropriate for Her submissive slut and wife. Thank you Owner for these past 12 months of denial - you are the best!

i know that to some readers the idea of being grateful for not being permitted to cum will sound a little strange perhaps extreme even, i also know there are other readers that similarly long to be kept orgasm free by their owners (you know who you are!)

Being kept in this state of long-term denial does not mean i am no longer interested in sex, quite the opposite! It keeps me in state of semi-permanent but frustrated arousal and desire. Exactly how a slut should be. i crave Owners body, yearn to feel Her big fat 'cock' inside of me, love to dress sluttily in the hope of being groped and molested. The longer i stay denied the hornier i get. 

However, despite such arousal i have no desire to cum or even play with myself  'down there'. Of course, being in chastity largely (not completely) removes any such possibility but when Owner and i were in Japan i was unlocked the whole time. Owner did not want the faff of having to lock and unlock me each time we took a flight (not just there and back - we had some internal flights too). Not once in that time did the thought ever occur to me to try to touch myself. i confess it did feel strange and slightly unsettling seeing my clit in the mirror - one of the things i like about being in chastity is the fact that it means i cannot see, let alone touch, my clit. i don't want rid of it, but i would rather not see it - i have a complex relationship with my clit :)

i also had the unusual experience, whilst unlocked in Japan, of waking to the feel the fabric of the bedding caress and tease my clit when it awoke free and aroused each morning. However, i simply lay still until that feeling passed. In short, even unlocked i had no desire to touch myself or be touched in a way that might trigger an accident. i would once have found the desire to masturbate irresistible, not any more. Owner has trained me to focus only on Her sexual pleasure and never cum without Her permission, now i have lost all desire to ejaculate at all.

Orgasms are intense but transitory feelings whereas denial, denial is special. It is ever present. Yes it waxes and wanes at times but it never goes. It is always there, a constant throb, an ache. a yearning and a desire. It creates a state of mind that allows your inner slut to thrive, entices it out to play, to be opened up and become a toy, an object whose sole goal and purpose (in my case) is my Owners pleasure. It makes me want to wear outfits that reveal and invite exploring, groping hands. It makes me want to spread my legs and offer myself to be penetrated and stretched. It makes being caned, whipped, spanked even electrocuted something to crave and yearn for. Denial makes me relish every fresh glass of piss Owners hands me to drink, makes me want nothing more than to plunge my tongue deep inside Her delicious anus or bury my face between Her fabulous tits (i am actually quite envious of Owners breasts!).

More practically and usefully it is this same frustrated desire that motivates me to complete my chores, strive to become a better and more obedient wife to Owner, to serve Her and become a better person in doing so. It motivates me to learn new skills, become more useful and improve my service to Owner.

Orgasm denial feels like the natural state of things for me as Owners submissive slut, human sex toy and wife. My focus is Her, my pleasure comes from Her pleasure. Now a year has passed and i want nothing more than to continue in this state of denial for ever.

However, i also know that is not for me to decide. It is Owner, not me, who will decide if and whether i will ever orgasm again. The mere fact of knowing (as She does) that i hope not to may be enough to make Her decide to force me to cum. i can only hope that She decides not to do that.

Just as it only became apparent years later what a significant year in my life 2010 was - the year i became a born-again-virgin, the year, aged 40 that my clit was allowed inside Owner for the last ever time - so too do i hope that i might one day look back to that bank holiday Monday in May 2025 and come to realise that it too was another milestone in my development.  Only time will tell. All i can do is express my deepest gratitude to my wonderful Owner for having kept me orgasm free for 365 days. i love and adore you.

300 Not Out

Today is a special day. Not only does it mark the three hundredth (and counting) day since my last orgasm, 300 days of total orgasm denial. Three hundred of what i hope may become a lifetime of being kept permanently aroused, frustrated but totally denied by Owner.

Today also served as a wonderful reminder of my sole sexual purpose in life, a human sex toy for Owner to enjoy and amuse Herself with. One who cannot ever hope to experience the pleasure of Her pussy, a sacred place reserved only those that can truly and properly pleasure Her. Today was just such a day when Owner used me as Her human sex toy.

First i worshiped and gagged on Her cock whilst She brought Herself off with Her favourite vibrator, my saliva lubricating and coating Her shaft and moistening Her pubic hairs as Her electric toy worked its magic against Her divine clit. i then licked out and enjoyed Her delicious anus, my tongue twirling deep inside of Her as She again brought Herself off with Her vibrator, twice. All the while Her glutes gripped and held my mouth tight against Her butthole. Finally, i went down on all fours and spread my legs like a slut whilst Owner mounted and fucked me, taking me as She pressed her Vibrator firmly against Her quim. Boy was it a wonderful experience, one that saw Owner bring Herself off four times whilst i remained horny, frustrated but very happily denied.  

Owner on the bed, Her magnificent cock ready for me to fellate

It was a truly wonderful experience.

Earlier, Owner also took me out for brunch

 i hope all readers are having equally memorable and enjoyable days.

Home Working Wearing Only A Corset + 200 Days And Counting

Owner set me an interesting challenge this week, namely to work from home wearing only a corset. i say interesting because whilst working from home i always have Teams or Zoom calls to join and it would most likely give my colleagues or others on the call a bit of a surprise had they seen me sitting there in just a corset.

i could, of course, have switched off the camera on my laptop so that others on the call could hear but not see me. However, where would be the fun in that? i also think it would not have come across well, especially in meetings that i was leading, to have been invisible to others.

So i did site there in just my corset, but i positioned myself so that only my head and the top if my neck was visible. By holding that position my bare shoulders could not be seen or the top of the corset itself. It did mean, however, that one false move on my part and......well my colleagues and others will have seen me as they never have before:)

Thankfully, four meetings later and no such mishap occurred.

i was not, however, completely naked save for the corset. It is a freezing cold day here in London today so i also wore a pair of warm winter hold-ups and my new snuggly boot slippers. The pictures below show me working

would you jump on a Teams call with me?

And this picture shows my full how working outfit for today

In fact, the new snuggly boot slippers that Owner bought for me have been a God send in the current cold weather. Here is another picture of me wearing them, this time taken by Owner using the surveillance camera whilst i was sweeping the floors early this morning

Meanwhile, today marks 200 days since my last orgasm (real or ruined). 200 days that have also mostly been spent locked 24/7 in chastity. What do i hope for? That maybe one day my 'Days since last orgasm' counter on the blog will tick past 300, 500, 750, 1000, 2000, 5000, 10000 etc etc days and i get to spend every day for the rest of my life locked and denied. Not many will understand such a wish on my part, but there are a few blog readers out there who will. However, it is not for me to decide. Owner is the decision maker on this as with all other matters. Whatever She decides will be but for me, the longer i am kept denied, the happier, hornier and naughtier i become.

Tripple Treats

Owner really treated me yesterday afternoon. After i made lunch, washed the dishes and finished cleaning out the fridge She gave me permission to order two new cleaning smocks to wear. My current ones are a little faded and no longer look smart. Owner also let me order a new mini-skirt, to replace the one i usually wear when working from home, as it too has gone to the great recycling scheme in the sky on account of it looking somewhat past its prime. i can't wait for my new smocks and skirt to arrive.

Owner also presented me with a lovely full, fresh glass of Her freshly decanted piss early yesterday afternoon which She handed to me to drink. On account of it having been poured slightly later in the day Her amber nectar was light and fresh, the colour of white wine but with a better taste, a real palate cleanser.

It was consumed with relish. i truly love drinking Owners urine, whether it be Her rich and full-bodied dark amber early morning servings or the lighter, crisper white wine coloured urine She dispenses later in the day. All are delicious. It is a drink i have come to crave.

She was not, however, done. More bodily treats were in store for me. With Her fresh piss drunk by Her eager slut Owner then instructed me to strip off and wait for Her naked in Her bed. After a few minutes She joined me under the sheets, the difference being She was fully clothed whilst i was naked.

Owner instructed me to lie on my side so that She could fondle me properly then went to work, groping, molesting and caressing me. She fondled, stroked, squeezed and mauled my breasts, my caged clit, my pussy whilst i groped me Owner also took the opportunity to rub Her crotch against my buttocks and my legs, using my body as a tool for Her pleasure. But it was not just Owner who was getting aroused, i was too. Especially when She then cupped my caged clit in Her hand, exposing the vulnerable twin lobes of my swollen labia which She then began to spank with Her free hand. 

She struck each softly at first before striking them harder and harder, causing me pain which swiftly morphed into excited arousal. Would Owner continue hitting me down there until She forced me beg to be allowed to orgasm? On the very rare occasions that She does make me cum, this is typically how Owner does it, by beating my exposed bits so hard that i quite literally howl in anguished pleasure as i beg to be allowed to orgasm. Thankfully, however, Owner also knows that orgasms are not good for me and so was careful not to hit me so much as to make me cum, just enough to ensure that i became highly aroused and animalistic. She also rightly expects the focus of such sexual encounters to be on Her, Her orgasm, Her pleasure and needs. 

Accordingly, stopped beating my swollen bits, removed her trousers and knickers, took Her vibrator from Her bedside cabinet and began to pleasure Herself with Her mechanical toy. As She did She rolled onto Her side, lifted Her knees to Her chest and instructed me to lick out Her arsehole.

My response was eager and immediate. i positioned myself behind Her in a reverse spoon position, She lifted Her leg so that my tongue had full access to Her anus, then gripped my head between Her thighs, locking me in place. Feeling horny as hell i spread Her cheeks apart with my hands then began to feverishly lick and lap Her backside, revelling in the scent and the taste of Her bottom as my tongue pushed deep inside into Her delicious butthole. 

As Her submissive slut wife and human sex toy Owner has long since denied me access to the holy shrine of Her pussy, and quite rightly so, She has no need of me there. That is a private shrine reserved for Her vibrators or anyone She might ever choose to invite, not me. My place, my task in helping Her climax, is worshiping and pleasuring Her butt with my tongue. It has become what She expects of me and i, in turn, have become obsessed by it. i love and adore it, crave the opportunity to smell and taste Her divine anus, lubricate it with my tongue, probe and devour it. i love feeling Her sphincter muscles quiver and contract as Her vibrator brings Her off in a manner that i cannot. 

In no time at all Owners hips began to rythmically rock back and forth, Her bottom bouncing against my straining tongue as it probed deeper inside Her whilst She clamped Her vibrator hard against Her clit. My own arousal increased, my clit throbbing in its cage as Owners backside grew wet with my saliva, smearing and smudging my makeup. She climaxed with my tongue deep inside Her arsehole as Her vibrator buzzed and pulsed millimeters from my nose, held fast against Her long forbidden (to me) sex.

Afterwards, as we lay in each others arms, i thanked Owner for allowing me the privilege and the treat of licking and tasting Her anus. i also thanked Her for having spanked my labia hard to ensure that i was left highly aroused but denied and frustrated whilst was sexually satisfied. It is how i love to be and feels right and appropriate for us both. She can take and receive pleasure whenever and however She chooses. My own goal, sole purpose and main pleasure in life is in ensuring Owner receives the pleasure She expects and deserves.

i am a very happy and contented, even though sexually frustrated, horny but denied, arse licker. i adore the smell and the taste of Owners anus and cannot think of a place i would rather be or a thing i would rather be doing in life than tonguing Her divine backside. It was a wonderful afternoon. A day of treats and delight. Just as i love drinking Owners piss i hope one day to also get to become Her full toilet slave, my tongue and mouth entrusted with ensuring Her backside is always spotlessly clean.

Owner has also changed what She expects from me during the current trial period She has placed me into. Rather than have me request each Saturday that She sit on my face She now wants me to ask Her how i might please Her as Her sextoy every Saturday? We both agree that this feels more appropriate and a truer recognition of my purpose to Her

French Kissing & Arse Licking

'Why are you wearing so many clothes?' 

It was a demand that i strip off rather than a question. Naturally, i obliged and soon i had rejoined Owner in the lounge, only this time wearing just a pair of stockings and my satin night gown.

'Let's go and lie down' She continued.

Moments later we were in the bedroom, on the bed, kissing passionately. Owner rolled me onto my stomach, splayed my legs and started caressing my buttocks and stroking my pussy. i moaned and spread my legs wider. i am, indeed, quite a slut. Owner then stripped me naked then let me worship and suckle on Her beautiful breasts as She, having also stripped off, pleasured Herself with Her vibrator.

We lay like that a short while, Her masturbating as i stroked Her thighs and kissed and feasted on Her breasts.

'Why don't you lick my arse?' She said. 

Again, it was an instruction rather than a question but it was a command i had been hoping She might issue. There is nothing i love more in life than being allowed to slide my tongue deep into Owners delightful anus. Which is exactly what i did.

As i tongued and pleasure Her bottom Owner brought Herself off with Her vibrating toy, again, and again.

Later, as we lay spent in each others arms i reflected on what a lucky person i am, to get to pleasure Owner this way and experience as intimately as i did Her moments of passion. i, of course, remained denied.

It proved a wonderful way to end the afternoon together. Earlier in the day i did my exercises, studies and chores and then did some baking whilst Owner had a rest. We even got to spend some time watching TV together.

After what has been quite a stressful week it has been a wonderful way to relax and unwind. Thank you Owner.

Not Everything Always Goes To Plan

So, Owners' plan of spending a long weekend in Madrid this weekend with Her girlfriend, and my plan of popping down to my Dad's to take him to see a friend of his who is in hospital, whilst Owner was away, have both fallen apart. Unfortunately, a family matter has arisen that meant Owners' friend could no longer make the trip, meaning Owner had to cancel. This was quickly followed by me testing positive for Covid, putting paid to any ideas i had of seeing my elderly father, let alone visiting a hospital with him.

On the plus side it does mean that Owner and i will get to have some unexpected time together this weekend. The down-side is that, with me having Covid, we are having to live slightly parallel lives in our little flat and sleep in separate rooms. i am hoping i start to test negative soon so we can once again snuggle up together. In the meantime it is face masks and separate beds 😢

in bed with Covid

The worst bit by far about being unwell is watching Owner having to step in and do all the things that i normally do to keep Her flat running smoothly. Yesterday i was told off in no uncertain manner by Her for attempting to do some washing-up. Today i have felt better so have been allowed to do the washing-up, the laundry and the bathroom, which makes me happy. i felt quite useless yesterday.

But enough of my ailments. Before i took to my sick bed i had intended to update about a couple of other things that had happened, or not happened, over the past few days. First off, after being instructed to do so by Owner, i got my haircut! Owner announced that She was not happy with how my hair looked anymore and that i was to get it cut short. She had done some research and showed me a selection of feminine pixie undercut hairstyles with an instruction to get my hair cut in that style. She had also located a new salon for me to get my haircut in. i was given instructions to make a booking for both a consultation and a cut.

Anyway, the booking was duly made on on Monday evening i returned home with my new haircut. What do you think? It is as Owner requested and i am really happy with it. She is of the opinion that my hair looks better this length and so, much as i liked having longer hair, when She told me to change it i, of course, had to obey.

my new short haircut

i actually really like it.

Sunday just gone Owner also had me complete one of Her 'Owners Treat' challenges. This is where i get to pick a 'treat' from a bag, comprising a slip of paper on which She has written a task i am to complete for Her pleasure, amusement and entertainment. Sometimes these 'treats' involve activities Owner enjoys or performances for me to entertain Her with. The task i was given was to re-create the scene in Bringing Up Baby where Susan drops an olive. If you have no idea what I am referring to you can see the original scene below

And then this is my own, someone truncated, version of the olive dropping moment (still with my hair yet to have been cut).

Owner was highly amused. Treat completed to Her satisfaction i then had to take another one from Her bag of 'treats'.  That will involve me making a party-style make-up tutorial for Tik-Tok. That promises to be fun.

In other news, on the same day as i was dropping olives i also spent some time in my cage and was treated to a delicious glass of Owner's finest. 

preparing to enter my cage

 Furthermore, i also got to spend a few hours on the sofa with Owner watching the movie Poor Things - it is a great film and i can see why Emma Stone has received so many awards for her acting. Owner even allowed me to have a few beers with Her whilst watching it.

That said, i still think the comparative lack of awards for Barbie is a scandal - and shows how accurate the film is and what a patriarchal society we live in.

On Monday i was then tasked with wearing a pair of Owners used knickers as a face mask between work meetings. i tried, but failed, to turn them into a proper mask look and in the end simply draped them over my head, being sure to place the crotch under my nose, creating the resulting look

i was also zapped fifty times times by Owner, on my bum and around my pussy after i returned from getting my haircut on Monday. As soon as i am better i know i am also due to have my clitty given a similar treatment, this time with Her electro clit torturing device.

Talking of my clit, this bring me onto a mini-milestone that passed without fanfare this week. Namely, it is now over 200 days since i last experienced an orgasm of any kind. i believe i perform and function better as Owners' submissive wife by being kept orgasm free and that i have no need of them when my sole sexual function is to bring Owner pleasure. i am, therefore, hugely grateful to Owner for ensuring that i continue to remain chaste.  This is not the longest period i have gone without an orgasm, in the past i have gone a whole year without one. But, if you keep a track of the orgasms i have been allowed over the past few years, which obviously i do and which are shown on the side bar of the blog, the trend is clear. Since 2019 i have experienced only 4 actual orgasms and 3 ruined ones.  i put much of the improvement in my performance and behaviour as Owners' submissive wife down to that simple fact.

Orgasms are things to be enjoyed and experienced by Owner whenever She wants them, but they are not things i have any right, or expectation, to receive. Sexually, my sole role and purpose is pleasuring Owner. i delight in doing this and am lucky to be granted the privilege of helping Her to climax by worshiping Her anus with my tongue. Helping Her experience orgasmic pleasure is pleasure enough for me.

So anyway, that has been my and Owners' week. In fact Hers has actually got worse because as i have been typing this She has come in to tell me She has developed a migraine. So please send Her your love and best wishes. Knowing She is suffering and that there is little i can do to help breaks my heart. Hopefully Her migraine will soon pass and She will get to still do Her long weekend another time soon. In the meantime, i for one cannot wait to being able to start looking after Her 100% of the time once again.

400 Not Out & Other Updates

Today marks a mini-milestone in my life, albeit an inconsequential one in Owners. Yes today it is four hundred (400) days to the day since i last experienced an orgasm of any kind (ruined or real). i would like to thank my wonderful Owner for keeping me in such an orgasm free state. Others may struggle to understand me when i say this but remaining denied in this way, whilst also having the honour to pleasure Owner whenever She wishes and to help Her to climax, is the greatest privilege on earth. Just thinking about it makes my 'plums' ache and my caged clit twitch. i truly am a very lucky and a very happy submissive slut and wife. Thank you Owner.

The day was spent doing my usual routines. i made us breakfast and lunch (with dinner to come). Completed my daily Spanish language studies and my extended weekend butt and abs exercises. i swept and mopped the floors of the flat and helped Owner with some admin She needed to sort. i was treated to a bottom paddling followed by a nipple spanking

my freshly paddled butt

head wedged between Owners' thighs as She spanks my breasts

Afterwards i also received a delicious glass of Her golden piss to consume

Drinking Owners' wonderful wee

Before being allowed to cuddle up with Her on the sofa.

This week, however, along with the last few weeks, have been difficult ones for Owner. She is going through a lot of upheaval and stress at work, stress that i wish i could somehow magic away, but i can't. All i can try to do is be there for Her and serve Her as best i can. It was thus a pleasure to be tasked earlier this week with being Her human footstool to help take the weight off Her lovely feet whilst She was on the phone with Her mother.

Owner resting Her feet on my backside

A few days later Owner amused and distracted Herself a little by electrocuting my nipples.

Yesterday, in a further attempt to take Her mind off work, we set off to do a little walk.However, quickly discovered that it was warm and uncomfortably muggy outside, the sort of weather that Owner hates. We still did a bit of a walk but then diverted to the same bar that we visited last sunday for some refreshing drinks and a spot of people watching (one of our favourite past times).

sat outside the bar with Owner

We spent a very enjoyable few hours watching people come and go, commenting on their outfits. Whenever a woman walked past in a short skirt or revealing top, and a number did, Owner would remark that it was the kind of outfit She knew i would like to wear myself (how well She knows me!).

She, meanwhile, was disappointed by the quality (or absence of it) of the men on show. Her preference is for young, slim, Chinese/Japanese/Korean-looking men. There are actually quite a lot of such men in our neighbourhood, mostly students at local universities. However, wherever they yesterday were they were clearly not in the vicinity of the bar where Owner and i were sat. Hopefully, She will have better luck next time and someone might catch Her eye.

There were also a number of men in shorts. Now, Owner hates men wearing shorts. She recently declared to me that 'no real man would ever wear shorts' - something, of course, that i regularly do, the shorter, more revealing and cuter the better!  Afterall, i am a slut. i also wear short skirts and dresses, clothing Owner has not worn for years and which She has sworn never to wear again. She is a trousers or jeans only girl. It is very much the case that She wears the trousers in our relationship and i wear the dresses. Talking of which, this was me today in my dress and pigtails :)

me today in pigtails and dress

But to finish where i started. i truly am grateful to my beautiful and sexy Owner for keeping me so happily orgasm free and for caring for me, dressing me and having me as Her feminine, slutty, submissive wife. i truly am the luckiest person in the world.

Human Sex Toy

i will often describe myself as being Owner's sex toy, but what do i actually mean by that? Well, in some respects it is probably exactly as you imagine but in others respects it might not be. Let me explain how it began and what it has come to mean in the context of our Femdom/FLR relationship, and why i feel i am the luckiest slut alive.

Not long into our relationship we transitioned from being a vanilla couple to an aspirant FLR/Femdom one. At the same time, and as part of my newly submissive status, Owner made it clear that i was no longer permitted to initiate sex with Her. From that point onwards i was instead to become Her human sex toy to be used in any way She saw fit. 

i was only allowed, and remain so to this day, to lean over and give Her a quick kiss on Her mouth or cheek but. Only if She presents or exposes another part of Her body to me, such as one of Her beautiful breasts, Her delicious derriere or Her pretty feet, am i allowed to kiss these too. For the most part, Her body is strictly off-limits. The only other exception being when She wants a massage in which case i get to rub Her neck, shoulders and Her back, but nothing lower down unless it is to massage Her feet. 

In contrast, Owner has complete access to any part of my body to use in any manner that She sees fit anywhere or whenever She so desires. For the first couple of years She continued to make use of my penis but this quickly ceased and it has not been inside Her since, a period now approaching fifteen years. My mouth and fingers continued to be allowed to worship and try to pleasure Her pussy but even that privilege was withdrawn as it became clear that Her battery powered sex toys could do a much better job than i ever managed. This was especially true if they were used in combination with my tongue worshiping Her anus. Thus my function as Her human sex toy became ever more focused and specific to the point where, for the past decade, Owner almost exclusively uses my body for the sole purpose of worshiping Her anus with my tongue. This i eagerly do at the same time as She brings Herself off with one of Her ever-reliable mechanical toys.

Owners' two sexual favourite positions are either a) sitting astride my face, smothering and part-suffocating me as She brings Herself off whilst my tongue licks out Her anus or b) lying on Her side, knees pulled up towards Her chest, Her vibrator clamped to Her clit whilst i spread Her buttocks apart and push deep into Her backside with my tongue, licking Her and savouring Her wonderful taste.The one exception to the above two positions are when She will occasionally have me lie face-down on the bed then sit astride my upturned buttocks and grind Her cunt against my glutes as She brings Herself off with one of Her toys. This is a particularly frustrating position for me as, other than raising my butt up to maximise the contact between my cheeks and Her pussy, i don't get to taste or even see Her.

For my part there is nothing more thrillingly arousing than the taste, sound and experience of helping Owner climax. When i feel Her sphincter muscles contract and spasm around my straining tongue, hear Her cry out as i struggle for breath, in that moment i am in heaven. There is nothing on earth quite like it. That moment, together with the scent and taste of Her anus, is quite simply, sensational.

In the past, after She had been sexually satisfied, Owner would turn Her attention to me and would bring Her human sex toy to climax. In the early days She used to masturbate me until i begged Her to be allowed to cum. Permission granted She would then watch me ejaculate before scooping-up and feeding me my mess.

About a decade into our relationship Owner discovered that She could make me climax by striking my testicles repeatedly and hard i.e. that there was no need to masturbate my clit as She once had. When i am made to orgasm this way i do so extremely noisily. Owner used to encourage me further by loudly telling me in no uncertain terms what a complete whore i was when i got close to climaxing. Then She would watch as Her human sex toy exploded, spraying thick strands of semen all over the place before getting me to lick or scoop up and consume my own sticky mess. At other times Owner would ensure my orgasm was ruined, teasing and tormenting me until i was close to erupting then stopping and observing as the inevitable stream of cum oozed from my clit, again for me to lick-up.

However, that was then. Nowadays, once She is fully satiated and has climaxed a couple of times that is that. i remain in my euphoric state of wonderful, extreme arousal....however, i am now denied my own release. It is over a year (almost 13 months) since i last experienced any kind of orgasm myself (ruined or not) and i now have no expectations of being allowed to experience my own climax again. In that sense i have become a true sex toy, one whose purpose is simply that of providing Owner with pleasure.

Owners' ever-ready, always available, sex toy

As Her sex toy Owner obviously has full access to any part of my body at all times. At home i am not allowed to wear knickers in the evening so that She has easier access to my pussy and clit. She also gropes and molests me in public, which makes me wet and sends me into a swoon! It is actually something i really love Her doing, being treated like a slut in public by Her. At first it used to embarrass me and i became very self-conscious, now i don;t care what anyone thinks of me. In fact, i would actually be delighted if some stranger thought i was a slut.

If Owner reaches between my legs i know to spread them apart. She quite regularly fondles and gropes my butt and loves to stroke the patch of skin between my clit and my pussy. In fact, this area of skin is one of Her favourite bits of my anatomy. Just like all other parts of my body, save for my head and my arms, it is kept smooth shaven at all times and this year Owner also had it pierced. i am often woken up by Her squeezing and fondling my glutes or tracing Her fingers down my smooth, pierced crack and across the entrance to my pussy. It is a wonderful way to start the day and leaves me highly aroused for hours on end.

However. i also know that Her stroking or molesting me in these ways does not mean that i will get to experience the ultimate satisfaction of pleasuring Her to orgasm. Most times it is simply Her way of demonstrating Her right of access to me at any time. Her groping or caressing me like this also ensures that my own frustrated arousal levels are sent rocketing back into orbit where they remain, monopolising all my thoughts until they gradually return to their 'normal' background levels and i am able to think straight once again. 

Months at a time can, and sometimes do, pass before Owner instructs me to worship Her divine anus with my tongue. In the meantime, however, She will occasionally instruct me to undertake activities that ensure my orifices remain fully open and available should She wish to fuck me.

Owner knows i have a 'thing' for cocks, the bigger the better. On surveys that ask you to identify your sexual orientation, unless the option 'other' is available i will generally default to stating that i am bisexual. However, this is not strictly true. Although i have slept with a number of men in the past my interest was never in them as a person, nor in their overall physical shape. Fat or thin, tall or short in that sense i was not picky. No, my sole interest was the length and girth of their penis, the longer and fatter the cock the better. i also really love the taste of semen, hence loving it when Owner fed me my cum, or i had to lick-up my own. In fact, the taste of fresh semen is the only thing i have actually missed since no longer being allowed to orgasm....but i digress.

Anyway, Owner knows i have a thing for 'cocks' and so has a small collection of Her own together, with a selection of heavy metal butt plugs, for occasional use on me. In the past She would sometimes strap on one of these cocks of Hers and then, after having me orally worship it, would proceed to plough my pussy with it. However, this involved physical effort on Her part without Her receiving any direct reward. She did, at one point, have a harness with a pouch for a bullet vibrator (probably still does) to derive some direct pleasure Herself as She fucked me. However, She found its use a bit of a faff.

These days Owner has, i think, come to realise that it is far easier to simply have me fuck myself or fellate a dildo, in order to keep my holes 'in shape' than for Her to do so. Accordingly, i occasionally receive an instruction to deep-throat a dildo or fuck myself with one in order that my holes stay open and available. Such instructions state a specific amount of time i am required to fellate or fuck myself for. This never exceeds five minutes to ensure i don't become overly excited. Whilst i suck away, or slide one of Her 'cocks' in and out of my pussy in full view of Owner She will simply sit back and read a book, check Her phone or watch TV until Her timer goes off and She instructs me to stop. In short, She shows not the slightest interest in what i am doing it is simply an exercise in ensuring that Her sex toy is kept in a state of open readiness.

As for me, well the opportunity to occasionally fuck or suck one of Owner's large phallus's more than quenches my craving for cock, not least because of their unnaturally large size, length and girth. They fill me up and stretch me out in a way few real penises ever could. In doing so my cunt is kept loose and open and my throat is trained to deep throat cock and my gag reflex is brought under control.

So, this is what my life as Owner's sex toy is like. It is obviously only one small manifestation of my submission to Her but its affect on me is something that i experience from the moment i wake up to when i eventually drift off to sleep. It is a life where my 'clit' has long ceased to fill a sexual function of any kind. Instead, my most intense, passionate and physically intimate, moments with Owner are ones where it feels as though the flesh at the base of my tongue might actually rip or tear so hard is my proboscis straining to probe deep into Her anus whilst my ears are filled with the muffled hum of Her vibrator and the noise of Her cries and my heart pounds and panic stirs as i realise that i am struggling to breath. These are moments of pure, intense pleasure and ones i never forget.

It is a life where Owner can and does grope and fondle me at any time of Her choosing, where She casually ignores me as i plumb and stretch my orifices with a variety of dildos whilst seated next to Her or on the floor at Her feet. 

It is also a life where it is no longer a case of me begging to be permitted to orgasm but one in which there is a possibility that i might never actually get to ejaculate again. The end of May/start of June 2022 could turn out to be last time i ever climaxed in much the same way that it sometime almost a decade and a half ago turned out the last time i will probably ever get to experience the sensation of my cock inside a pussy during my lifetime. Obviously, the pussy in question was Owner's but, since then, it has become clear She is unlikely to ever let me inside Her again. i became a born again virgin after that (although it took me a while to realise that that, as they say, was that). Looking back i would not have wanted it any other way. i am still feel extremely happy and sexually fulfilled, i just get my pleasure in a different way.

By 'pleasure' i do not mean sexual arousal from touching or caressing my clit. It, my clit, has long since become as sexually irrelevant to me as it is to Owner.  Even on the rare occasions when it is not locked in chastity the very idea that i might surreptitiously masturbate never even crosses my mind. i have long since stopped touching it that way and the thought of doing so appalls me. 

i do still touch myself, in fact i do so on a quite regular basis, but my touching is confined to caressing my tits or gently spanking my 'labia' plums (i am doing so now as i type). Whenever i do this the background simmer of frustrated sexual arousal that is my everyday lived experience surges in intensity, but never enough to risk boiling over. My clit, meanwhile, remains ignored. Well, by me at least. Owner does still like to occasionally touch or poke it when i am unlocked. She also enjoys torturing it.

Actually, i totally forgot to mention this side of my human sex toy life, namely the pleasure Owner derives from beating, biting, marking and, more recently, electrocuting me. i include this as being an integral part of my sex toy life as it is evident, judging from the moist and aromatic state that Her panties are left in after administering such pain to my naked flesh, that Owner derives some amount of sexual pleasure from treating me this way.  At first She was, i think, a little worried about hurting me. However, She gradually became much, much more emboldened and now enjoys inflicting pain in ways that She knows i struggle to cope with, but learn to i must!

One final comment on my life as Owners human sex toy. Ours is an entirely monogamous relationship. My body exists solely and exclusively for Her alone to use as She pleases and to provide Her with the pleasure She deserves. To date i have, seemingly, fully met Her sexual needs/desires. i recognise, however, that what i can sexually offer is a far, far cry from what a real man would be able to.

Whether my tongue up Her arse will always be enough for Owner i don't know. She is absolutely the centre of my world and i long for nothing more than for Her to experience as much pleasure and happiness in Her life as is possible. My greatest reward in life comes from helping Her experience such pleasure. Nothing else comes remotely close. Were the day ever to arrive when She decided She deserved more than i can sexually offer i would fully understand. i would hate to in anyway come between Her and the pleasure She deserves. My only hope, were such a situation ever to arise, would be that She might continue to also allow me to serve, worship and pleasure Her as best i can.

What about me? Well, i am fully aware that people might read this and conclude that i have lost the plot. What man, and after all i am one even if a very effeminate, pale shadow of one, might gladly have become a born again virgin in their late thirties and now be less than mid-way into their fifties and fully accepting of the possibility that i might never get to orgasm again? Even i, had i met my older self whilst i was still in my twenties, would not believe it possible to be so happy at the prospect of living out the rest of my life like this. But happy i am, more than happy in fact. i love my life with Owner. Adore being used and kept as Her sex toy in the way that i am.

Yes, of course there are times when i get extremely sexually frustrated. Times when all i can think of is to be fucked senseless, left unable to walk or talk, my throat, mouth and face slick with semen. Times when i crave not one but two or more hands forcing their way inside of me, gaping and prolapsing me. Times i fixate on ideas, dark ideas, of public humiliation and degradation, or of being cast out onto the street dressed as the cheapest slut imaginable in order to turn tricks and earn money for Owner. 

But then there are the memories. Memories of burying my face between Owners wonderful butt cheeks and licking out Her delicious anus until it was spotlessly clean. Memories of being served a cascade of amber, fragrant piss that fills my mouth and soaks me. Memories of being sent on stage and made to perform in a dress and suspenders, all the while knowing how easy it must be for the audience to see my little white panties and the small bulge of my secret, my chastity device, nestled underneath. 

Then there is the almost weekly occurrence of presenting at a conference or some other event for work and wondering whether someone in the audience might recognise me as being the same submissive slut whose online pictures they were gawping at or wanking over?

Then too there are those moments when i am kneeling, legs spread, arms out-stretched, waiting for that first impact to land and the explosion of pain that will almost certainly follow. Moments when i get to see myself in the mirror and smile as the person looking back resembles the person i want to be. The many moments when Owner compliments me by telling me what a slut or a whore i am.

All of the above and so, so much more is my life. Not in my wildest, most optimistic, dreams could i ever have imagined it would turn out like this. To have met Owner , be allowed to submit to Her and become, amongst other things, Her human sex toy. It is a life i love. It is one that might not be to everyone's taste but to me. However, little horny old me could not be happier. i get to be a slut and it is all thanks to one amazing woman, my Owner. To get to live my life like that and to also occasionally get to lick out Her arse, well life really does not get any better. And to have become a born again virgin and face the prospect of, perhaps, permanent denial, well that simply serves to make the experience that much more exquisite. There is no happier person in life than an almost constantly aroused, sexually frustrated and denied slut. And that person, dear reader, is me.

We're Back - and a Milestone Passed

Owner and i are, sadly, back from our trip to South West Finland. We both had a wonderful time and would thoroughly recommend that part of the world to anyone looking for a holiday. The archipelago is stunning with its thousands of islands, only a small fraction of which are inhabited. There are also lots of gorgeous little beaches and woodlands/forests to walk through and bogs to traverse (mostly on wooden planks thankfully). There is also the lovely city of Turku to explore together with the fabulous old wooden houses in Rauma further up the coast (see images further down).

Owner left the holiday planning to me this time and congratulated me on my choice of holiday location and accommodation. i was a little anxious as normally it is Her that chooses and arranges such things but at the time She was going through a stressful period as She was changing jobs and so instructed me to make all the arrangements. i was relieved when She expressed Herself to be more than satisfied with the place i had chosen.

By the time it finally came for us to head off on our holidays i too was really quite stressed, a combination of trying to sort things out helping my elderly father move home and sort out all of his affairs (he has dementia), together with a busy and pressurised period at work. As a result of this Owner decided that i needed a complete rest and so whilst we were away i was excused from doing chores. She did all the cooking, relegating me to simply doing breakfast and cleaning dishes after meals and the driving. We actually clocked up fewer kilometers than we often do on our holidays with the hire car clocking in at a little shy of 1,500km traveled over the 14 day period. i was also even allowed a few drinks whilst we were away, although obviously not when driving, and even got to choose what to order from a restaurant menu rather than have Owner decide for me. In short, She was still in charge but decided to give me a lot more freedom than i would normally expect.  

Whilst we were away Owner commented how nice it would be if She were to have a younger sub who could do all the in-holiday cooking and the driving for us allowing us both a bit of downtime. Obviously, that person would need to cover their own expenses, even better would be for them to pay for the privilege of being with us! So, if anyone is reading this and thinks they'd make a good candidate as Owner's submissive assistant then please do drop me a line.

Anyway, back to our time away. Owner made clear that my 'time off' was strictly time limited and that too much of it would undo any of the good that a bit of R&R might achieve. i would be expected to resume my duties on our return. In truth, i also found that i missed my routines and chores. There is something therapeutic about doing them. i also missed the control i normally feel Owner exerting over me on a daily basis. Of course it was still in place but Her 'leash' was a lot less tight that it normally is.

Now that we have returned i am back to my usual routines and chores. In a way it is like slipping on a pair of comfortable shoes. It feels familiar and 'right'. The holiday was wonderful but, as Owner pointed out, too much relaxation is not good for me at all.

We returned late Saturday. The following day, Sunday, saw the passing of a little milestone in my life. Yes, yesterday Sunday 4th April 2023 was exactly one year, 365 days since i last had an orgasm of any type, accidental or forced, ruined or non-ruined. That last orgasm having occurred on the same date in 2022. No semen has leaked or shot out of my little caged clit since and i am all the hornier and happier for that fact.

i suspect a good many readers will struggle with the idea that being kept denied like this is something to aspire to but for me it definitely is the case. i love the mental state this leaves me in. The constant, low level, ache for a release that never comes. My orgasmic desires have gone. Even when released from my cage for cleaning i feel no desire at all to touch or play with my clit. My chastity device is not there as a means of preventing me from masturbating as that would not happen even were it not in place.  Rather, to me it serves a psychological and practical purpose and function. It reinforces the point that my clit serves no sexual function or purpose, either to me or to Owner. It has not been inside Her pussy for almost fifteen years and i cannot now imagine a future circumstance in which it ever might be so allowed again. In effect, i became a born again virgin in my late thirties.

Owner used to permit me to cum quite often. Sometimes i would just get over excited and frantically ask Her if i might be allowed to, to which She would invariably say yes. Other times She would quite deliberately make me cum with Her hand, pumping my little swollen appendage until it popped. Then one day She discovered that if She beat me hard on my 'labia plums' She could make me climax in a manner quite unlike anything i had experienced before. The experience was so overwhelmingly intense (going from acute pain to acute pleasure) that i would literally howl as i exploded. Owner began to restrict how i orgasmed to using this method alone. At the same time She also used such experiences to reinforce my status as Her slut, telling me loudly and repeatedly what a whore i was and to cum like a whore as She beat one earth-shattering climax after another out of me. Such occasions served to further my growth and development as Her slut wife by teaching me to behave like a whore. It also led me to acquire even more of a taste for semen that i already had as She would scoop up my resultant mess and feed it to me after each orgasmic explosion. And i created a LOT of mess.

Such spectacular releases were, from my perspective, wonderful to experience in the moment but always then led to an inevitable drop in my performance as Her submissive. They also always left me feeling a little disappointed that i had climaxed. Part of me longed to be left horny, frustrated and denied. i have always felt that my own orgasm serves only to distract me from my true purpose, namely to pleasure Owner. For Her part i believe Owner enjoyed making me climax this way and seeing what a whore She could make me become. However, it also gradually became apparent that so successful had this 'training' been that this behavior could be coaxed from me without the accompanying sexual 'motivation'. i slowly became more 'whore-like' whenever She wanted me to as i overcame my inhibitions and shyness and learnt to embrace the slut She expected of me, and which deep-down i truly am.

It no longer required me to climax hard in order for me to connect with the slut i am.  i developed, evolved and grew into behaving like a slut without the need for accompanying orgasmic 'highs' to unlock that side of me.

i have now been developed and trained by Owner to a point where the absence an orgasm of any type for a full year seems like the logical next step in my progression as Her sex toy and slut wife. i have no desire to have an orgasm and it now feels quite natural that i should not have been granted any this past year. Of course i still get horny, my 'natural state' is actually one in which i feel almost constantly semi-aroused. My breasts and nipples have become increasingly  sensitive and love to be touched and caressed as too do my labia plums.  My 'pussy' also opens up at the slightest touch or caress and loves nothing more than to be stretched wide and stuffed deep. 

For Her part Owner regularly fondles, gropes and caresses my buttocks and strokes the entrance of my pussy or grabs and squeezes my labia plums. The nipple chain She got me also leaves my tits in a state of constant, swollen arousal and She will often touch or caress them. When She uses me for sex She still touches, beats and caresses me in a way that gets my clit excited and aroused but now She does so only to tease and excite, not to make or force me to cum. Whenever it looks like i might start enjoying myself a little too much She stops and ensures that my focus and sexual energies are on Her and not myself.

Perhaps i have also already experienced my last ever orgasm? It is something i have long fantasised about and, to an extent, craved. To be kept permanently denied until the day i die. After all, my sole sexual purpose is to pleasure Owner in a manner of Her choosing and to be Her human sex toy.

i have no idea whether or not Owner will make me cum again. She might do but then equally, She might not. All i do know is that i have come to realise that the longer i am kept denied the happier and the better person i become. Just as i love my born again virgin, cock-less, chaste, feminised, slut self so too do i have i come to realise that the longer i go without experiencing an orgasm the more wonderfully, frustratedly aroused i become. To be kept in such a state by Owner is a true privilege. i am a very lucky slutty wife indeed!

Anyway, as promised some pics from the last days of our trip to Finland 

Rauma church

Rauma old town

Owner leading the way

Frisky Frolics in Finland

Did i mention that the place Owner and i are staying in here in Finland has a jacuzzi on the deck patio? Pretty much every day we have been here has found Owner and i in our respective swimsuit and bikini floating around amidst the bubbles. It is a wonderful way to spend some time, not to mention that the jets of warm water feel amazing as they pummel my pussy through the thin fabric of my bikini bottoms!😀

Well, yesterday it felt even better as  as Owner stripped me of my bikini top and bottom when we were in the water and proceeded to then lightly spank my swollen 'labia'. Obviously, the minute She did so my thighs automatically parted as little waves of pleasure surged through me, waves that grew even more pleasurable as She tugged on the chain suspended from my pierced nipples, causing me to become even more aroused. My little clit began to swell in its cage in excited delight.

With yours truly feeling excitable Owner then positioned Herself in a seated position at one end of the jacuzzi and pulled me over towards Her until i was lying naked over Her lap in the warm water. By raising Her hips slightly She was able to push my bum up and clear of the water whereupon, still holding my nipple chain tight with one hand, She administered a light outdoor spanking with Her free hand on my naked butt. It was a lovely way to start the day before we set off exploring.

However, lovely as it was it was not a patch on the manner in which She started my day this morning. After we'd had breakfast Owner beckoned me back to bed, instructed me to strip naked and then, once again, started to lightly spank my bottom and pull on my tit chain. It had the, i suspect, intended affect of making me wet and aroused. It would appear Owner enjoyed tormenting me like that too for when She took off Her panties and placed the fabric of the crotch against my nose, i inhaled the wonderful fresh scent of Her sex.

Owner positioned me flat on my stomach and then took the solid rubber 'evil bat' paddle i had brought with us and administered a good solid spanking on my backside and a lighter one to my bits. i had forgotten just how effective this rubber paddle is and was soon writhing and squirming on the bed. My bottom quickly started to colour up as you can see from the picture below

the 'evil bat' paddle

Owner tired of spanking my butt with the paddle after a bit and wandered off into the kitchen to look for something, leaving me face down on the bed. What She was seeking i had no idea but i was soon to discover.

She returned with a rubber basting implement for covering the surface of pies and other dishes but quickly found another, better use for it, in the former of a plum/testicle beater. Instructing me to get on all fours and to part my legs slightly She used Her newly found implement to great effect, striking it against my exposed swollen labia until i started to squirm, then striking them some more. Next She told me to turn over and deployed the same implement against my now already slightly sensitive nipples which were already aroused from having had the nipple chain pulled hard as She spanked me earlier.

'Would you like me to sit on your face?' Owner asked. By this point She had re-positioned Herself astride my derriere and was grinding Her pussy against my newly warmed buttocks.

What sort of a question was that was my immediate thought. Of course i would, i would like nothing better. i conveyed my delight at the suggestion and watched as Owner fetched Her vibrator then squatted down astride my face and pleasured Herself within millimeters of my nose with Her toy. i needed no instruction as to what was expected from me and immediately set about worshiping Her wonderful anus with my tongue. Licking Owner's arse whilst She brings Herself off is truly one of my life's great pleasures and privileges. It is always wonderful help bring Her pleasure and today was no exception. i loved looking up through the fine thicket of Her pubic hair and watching Her climax as i feasted on Her backside. All too soon and it was over. Owner got up to shower and change leaving me aroused but contentedly denied.

There was, however, one final bit of excitement in store for me. Today was a mostly cloudy day with some rain forecast in the afternoon. Rather than head off on a hike or go to a beach we decided instead to visit an old local stately home in the morning and then head to a nearby spa resort hotel in the afternoon to make use of their pool facilities. The prospect of the latter made me nervous but also excited as the only swim wear i had with me were the two pairs of bikinis, one pink and sparkly and the other blue and frilly. i decided to be sensible and bring my blue bikini and not the pink one for what was to be my first ever very public appearance in a spa pool wearing a bikini!

We had no idea how busy the facilities would be and so i was a little apprehensive upon arrival, more so on being instructed to head to the men's changing room and discovering it to be an open plan space with nowhere to really discretely slip out of my bra and lilac lace panties and change into my bikini. It was made more nerve wracking still as i was obviously also wearing my pink micro chastity device. But, in the company of a couple of naked and near naked Finnish men i stripped off and changed into my bikini and then traipsed through to the pool area.

On arrival i was greeted by the sight of a large pool and a couple of hot tubs/pools and a bunch of couples splashing and lounging about, as well as some kids. i bit the bullet and padded across the tiled floor, avoiding people's gaze whilst staring at my painted toes as i walked, and eased myself a little shyly into the pool. Of Owner there was no sign.

After a minute or so in the water i plucked up some courage to swim a couple of lengths until Owner emerged and i swam over to join Her. By that point i had started to feel a little less self-conscious in my bikini. Owner and i plonked ourselves into one of the hot tubs alongside some other couples and then spent the next hour moving from one warm pool to another and then back again to the main pool to cool off and so on. i ceased feeling self-conscious and swam and splashed and walked around quite happily in my bikini. i did feel a bit awkward heading back into the men's changing room later in my bikini to dry off and putting my panties and bra back on again in front of some real men who were also getting changed. But nobody said anything or remarked about me (not that i would have understood a word if they had!), nor did i really even get many odd looks in the pool. All in all, i think my first ever public pool bikini swim went well and Owner and i both got to enjoy a lovely time together at the spa.

Here i am poolside in my blue bikini

and this is me enjoying myself in the pool

By the time we were back outside and walking back to the hire car i was feeling quite proud of how i had got on.

But, enough (again) of me. i leave you with some more pictures taken on our Finnish adventure as i know that a number of readers are appreciating the lovely landscapes around here.

we came across a seafront house with its own float plane!

Tomorrow we head off to an island located mid-way between Finland and Sweden which we'll be staying on for a few days. It is part of the Åland Islands which is actually a de-militiarised zone and a rare (very) example of a successful League of Nations agreement. The place has been peaceful for over a hundred years. Hopefully Owner and i won't disturb the peace too much!