Control

Control is such a simple little word but it is one that runs through the heart of every Female-Led or Femdom relationship, namely the ceding of control by the submissive to the dominant female. That has definitely been the case for Owner and i as the relationship we enjoy has strengthened and deepened. The greater the level of control She exercises the deeper in love with Her i fall and the more i long to submit to Her further.

The story of how Owners control over me has evolved and how my submission to Her has correspondingly deepened is a long one. The journey of our relationship has, at times, been a winding one. There were times when things would go backwards, especially early on or we would be side-swiped events in life that were outside of our control. But our objective always remained the same, Owners control of me and my submission to Her.

At its most basic Owner loves having a wife (me) who does what She is told and who strives to make Her life as comfortable and pleasurable as possible. To that end She has invested time and effort training, disciplining and teaching me to become the wife She wants and which She also deserves. One who gladly and willingly submits to Her.

Today, Owner has control of pretty much all aspects of my life outside of work. That did not happen overnight. It was not a case of Her suddenly waking up one morning, announcing She has full control and hey presto. No, it was a gradual, incremental process that allowed time for each of us to adjust to the new power dynamic between us. Only when a shift in control over one aspect of my life had become normalised did She tighten Her control further. Of late, however, that process has accelerated and i could not be happier.

Before going on to explain how it is important to emphasise here that what we are talking about is the consensual submitting to Her control by me.  In no sense was this forced upon me. Rather, it was something i actively sought and welcomed. The more controlling of me Owner has become the deeper my love and devotion to Her has grown. i love submitting to Her. Being told what to do and controlled by Owner makes me happier than i could ever have imagined possible

Over the years Owner has come to control me not simply sexually (which was the first thing She took control of) but She also also what i wear, whether or not i can go out, what i eat when we are out, what i do with my time, what She expects of me to name but a few. One of the biggest 'moments' in my journey of submitting completely to Her was when i relinquished control of my salary. This was actually done at my own request, it just felt right and proper that i ask Owner if She would do me the honour of permitting have my wages paid into a joint account controlled by Her rather than into my own current account. In return i was given a monthly allowance by Owner of £100 a month, a sum that has remained unchanged for many, many years.

At the time it felt like the biggest shift in our power dynamics. Having my own money to spend as i wish is something that had been part of my life since my teens. Surrendering that, to no longer have financial control and instead receive a monthly allowance, felt and was a big step at the time. It was something i wanted and dreamt about, becoming dependent upon Owner, but initially i found it difficult to actually request. However, in the end i asked Her if She would do me the honour of taking take my financial independence away. Owner agreed and i am so pleased She did. At the time, and we are talking many years ago now, it was an important demonstration of my desire and willingness to submit more deeply to Her. It marked a significant moment in the evolution of our relationship.

It also demonstrates another thing. Owner taking more control over me has, on occasion, been at my own request, a response to my own desire to want to submit more fully to Her. That was the case with my salary. i was a more than willing accomplice, it was me who asked Her if She would do me the honour of taking control of it from me. Owner has ever since exercised Her control of my finances diligently. i love this, love that i no longer have financial autonomy. 

In the past few years Owner has also assumed control of another fundamental aspect of my life outside of work, namely my freedom of movement. As Her submissive wife Owner rightly regards my place as being at home, where She can keep an eye on me or expect to find me. Accordingly, that is where She expects me to be unless i have been invited to accompany Her somewhere. Nowadays, other than on the occasions when i need to leave the house for work, the only time i leave the flat without Her as my escort is when i need to run an errand for Owner or have been given an outdoor challenge to complete by Her. The exception to this is if i have obtained Her permission to go and visit one of my parents. The idea that i might suddenly just decide to go out for a walk on my own, or join colleagues for a drink after work, has become unimaginable. i don't and i wouldn't. My place is at home.

i love living like this, being constrained in were i can go. i am also a very willing participant. It is not as if She locks me in. At any moment i could walk outside. In that respect the door to the cage is always very much open. However, i choose to remain inside. My place is in Owners' home. However, She also regularly take me out, we both love each others company and enjoy doing things together. Owner also enjoys socialising without me with Her friends. On such occasions you will find me at home, contentedly doing the housework until summoned to go and collect Her from the station and walk Her home. Some people may find this strange, others will not. Owner is my life and i am very happy being Her stay at home wife. 

Owner is Her own woman, free to meet and see whoever She wishes, go wherever She wishes, do whatever She wants. i am not. i would not want things any other way. In recent years Owner has taken to going away for a few days with Her best friend. An opportunity for them to let their hair down, re-connect and have a good time. i am really, truly happy to see Her doing this. Owner knows She is free to do whatever She chooses, knowing that Her loyal and obedient wife will always be waiting for Her when She returns home.

Excitingly, to me at least, at the end of last month Owner introduced a new element of control over me. Fed up with me interrupting Her with my trivia and inanities whilst She was busy or reading Owner stipulated that i must now seek Her permission before engaging Her in conversation. To this end i now always wear a lanyard around my neck which i must raise to indicate whenever i wish to say something to Her. i must then wait until She indicates whether or not i am permitted to speak. It is a new form of control that She has introduced and which She now enjoys over me.

This restriction on my freedom of speech has fast become 'normal' to me. The 'permission to speak' lanyard is now the first think i put on when i get out of bed and the last item i take off before going to bed. When i do leave the flat i hang it next to the entrance so that i might put it back on the instant i return. In just a matter of weeks wearing and using it has become second nature to me. i would not wish to go back to how we were, i much prefer my newly muted state.

Which brings me onto the most recent example of Owners' increasing control over me. It happened over the weekend of our wedding anniversary and i hope it marks a new chapter, both in Owners' control over me but in my own willingness to accept and submit to Her authority. It relates to my job. 

My work is quite high profile (in my field) and is attracting growing international interest. Last year i was invited to lecture in Italy and present at a conference in the USA. i was flattered and accepted both invitations without, in truth, really consulting Owner. Although She was pleased for me Owner was upset that i was leaving Her, especially for the USA trip. She made it clear She was not happy that i was going. However, my ego took over and i went anyway. i regret having done so. Doing so upset Owner and also set me back in my own journey of submission to Her.

At my worse i sometimes allow my work to take over my life when what i really want is for my life to be centred around my service to Owner. Serving and submitting to Her is the aspect of my life that makes me happiest and of which i am most proud. i love Her and although i am lucky in that i find my work interesting, i am not in love with it, whereas i am with Her. 

Fast forward to Friday last week. i received a work invitation to attend a workshop in Beijing in China that is taking place this Spring. i have never been to China and was flattered and a little excited. However, i also recognised i would first need to ask Owner. i therefore left it with my manager that i would have to first discuss the invitation with my wife before i responded.

Owners' response was clear and immediate. She did not want me to go.  Before the weekend was out i had emailed the organisers to decline the invitation, letting my manager know as well that i would not be going. Far from feeling disappointed what i actually felt was giddy, giddy with excitement. i realised that in accepting without question Owners decision i had further and willingly submitted and surrendered to Her and Her control. It felt like a really significant moment. The further extension of Her control, and my submission to Her authority, this time in relation to my job. i ended the weekend almost elated at what had happened. i had been offered an opportunity that appeared exciting but which would have taken me away from the person i want to be with above all others. She in turn had been unequivocal in Her view that She did not wish for me to go and, rather than seek to argue, persuade or ignore Her opinion i had accepted it without question. More than that, i had gladly accepted. i was grateful to Her for exerting Her authority over me and proud of the manner in which i readily acquiesced. She exerted control and i submitted. Doing so made me feel really very happy.

There are, i imagine, some readers who may find the above to be strange, perhaps even troubling? If you do, then you really do not fully understand me. i want to be controlled by Owner, the more She does so the more i crave it. My place is at Her side and in Her home. My ambition is to one day be accepted by Her as Her maid servant, perhaps even Her slave. She wants me to be with Her, serving Her, not the other side of the world. That is my place. She does, and always should, come first. 

My work, although rewarding, is as nothing compared to the rewards i receive every day that i have the privilege of serving and submitting to Her. It is right and proper that i stay at home. i hope my staying shows further growth, progress and development on my part in my quest to truly submit unconditionally to Owner. She is the centre of my world.