Staying Home and Going Out

As regular readers will know i have increasingly become a stay-at-home wife for Owner. At home is where She expects me to be and where i enjoy being. It means that She knows where i am and it ensures that my focus stays where it should be, on Her and looking after Her home, be that here in London or in Spain. 

The only occasions that i leave Owners home on my own are: 

• to attend work meetings that cannot be conducted online 
• to complete a challenge set by Owner 
• to see/visit either one of my parents 
• to run errands for Owner e.g emptying the rubbish, collecting Her prescriptions, doing the shopping or buying Her a coffee etc
• to get my haircut or see the dentist/doctor 
• to meet Owner at the train station/airport and carry Her bags home
• to meet-up with Owner if She is already out 

Until last year i still undertook the occasional work trip abroad but we have agreed that this is no longer an appropriate activity for me . It is also expected of me that i do not stay away overnight for work unless it is absolutely unavoidable, and only then if Owner approves.

My staying at home has become the norm. It is where i spend the bulk of my time. i would not want for it to be any other way. 

On those occasions when i do leave the house unescorted by Owner i make sure to return straight back home as soon as possible. i also provide Owner with regular updates about my journey and where i am/what i am doing. More recently still i have set my mobile phone so that it shares my location details with Owner 24hours a day, everyday, meaning that should She ever wish to, She can now track my precise whereabouts all the time. Owner did not ask me to do this but it feels a quite natural and proper thing for me to do.

In short, as Owners control over me has grown and my submission to Her has deepened so it has become increasingly expected of me that i should, in so far as it is possible, always be at home unless i am accompanied or chaperoned by Her.  Likewise, when i am not at home Owner can now always see, if She wishes to, exactly where i am.

Luckily for me Owner enjoys my company as much as i enjoy Hers and so i am regularly invited to accompany Her on a walk, for drinks, a meal or for some other occasion or activity. Take this weekend for example. i went out twice with Her, once on Saturday and then again on Sunday. On Saturday Owner went out for lunch with friends, leaving me at home to get on with some housework. However, She then invited me to meet up with Her in town later in the day and go for drinks with Her.

Spending time out, in Her company, are special moments for me as i never fail to have a good time out with Owner. Here are some pictures from last Saturday

Out having drinks with Owner

On Sunday Owner took me to the cinema with Her to watch one of our favourite films, Wong Kar-Wai's In the mood for love that was being shown in a central London cinema. 

For Her part Owner is obviously free to come and go as She pleases and spend Her time however and with whomsoever She chooses. Owner is not a naturally social person but She does have a close circle of friends and colleagues whom She enjoys seeing. To me it is beautiful and appropriate that Owner goes out and has a good time whilst i stay at home awaiting Her call to come and meet Her at the station, or the airport if She has gone abroad. 

Owners freedom and independence, and Her ability to do whatever She wishes, is important to us both just as is the absence of such freedoms and independence for me. Whilst i really miss Owner when She is not here i am also happy and content getting on with my chores and tasks in the knowledge that She is out having a good time somewhere and making sure She has a clean and tidy home to come back to.

Most of the time Owner simply leaves me to get on with things. She likes me to be proactive and to think of things that can be done in Her absence. There are, however, occasions when She will leave me with instructions. When She does that my little submissive heart really does sing with joy. They can be the dullest, most boring etc tasks but being given them to do when She is out or away enjoying Herself really does make me happy. i still fondly recall the time i was left to work hard, redecorating the whole flat, whilst She went to Rome for a long weekend with Her friend.

Whilst there may be less occasions when i get to leave the house these days i do still get out a lot it just means that those occasions when i am allowed out with Owner are all the more enjoyable and special. i also get the immense pleasure and satisfaction that comes from staying in whilst Owner goes out and enjoys Herself whilst i get on with my chores. It is a win-win arrangement for us both and one i would never wish to change.

The Trial Verdict - i Passed!

i am so happy this morning, words cannot begin to describe how excited i feel, i quite literally have butterflies in my stomach and my hands are trembling as i type this. The reason? Owner has declared that i have passed the Trial period She set me to decide whether i was worthy of being controlled and dominated by Her yet more completely than i already am.

i had just completed my morning exercises and was cooling off and re-hydrating with a fresh glass of Her piss that Owner had left for me whilst She went to take a shower when i noticed that there was a message from Her to me. It read as follows:

London 8 March 2025

After careful scrutiny and thorough consideration, Owner acknowledges that pet has been useful, considerate of Owner’s needs, and has complied with all the rules set during the trial period. Therefore, Owner declares that pet has passed the trial and is ready for the next steps. However, pet slipped up on two occasions, which resulted in an extension of the trial. Owner advises pet to be careful and mindful of their actions. Overall, pet has performed exceptionally well, and their behaviour aligns closely with Owner's expectations.

Congratulations, pet!

NEXT STEPS:
The pet is invited to a meeting to discuss and establish new additions to their current duties and services for the next three months.
Date: 9 March 2025 Time: 2pm

i had to read the message twice to make sure i had not misread or misunderstood it. But no, i had not. i had passed! i will get to find out tomorrow what additional duties and services are expected of me for the next 3 months. Hopefully i will demonstrate my ability to incorporate and complete these to Owners expectations whilst also maintaining the new duties i have been undertaking this past month and a bit.

My hope is to one day become Owners' slave, that truly would be an honour and a privilege. However, i know i have much still to learn and improve upon. i just hope i prove myself worthy for further development after this next three months. Meantime, i cannot wait to find out what Owner has in mind for me. i will, of course, update about the outcome of tomorrow's meeting with Her.

Drinking Owners' piss moments before discovering i had passed the trial

In the meantime, this past week has seen a continuation of my chores, tasks, exercises and studies. On Monday i was sent out to walk a lap of the park and get something from the cornet shop whilst wearing the evil clover nipples clamps with metal teeth. This was me in the park wearing my specially 'adapted' top;

Then on Wednesday i was instructed to do my usual dusting albeit gagged and wearing a pair of Owners used knickers over my head so that i inhaled to fabulous aroma of Her used panties whilst i worked. 

Owner also bought me a wonderful new pair of flats to wear about the house when i am working from home.

Work has been busy for us both and i have presented at a number of online and in-person events this week. However, the week ended in its now usual manner with Owner taking the opportunity to secure me to Her bed then electrocute my bottom, pussy, clit, labia and nipples. Apparently She increased the power setting this time. You will just have to take my word for it though as there are no photos.

i will update again on news of the additional duties and expectations Owner will reveal to me tomorrow afternoon.

Control

Control is such a simple little word but it is one that runs through the heart of every Female-Led or Femdom relationship, namely the ceding of control by the submissive to the dominant female. That has definitely been the case for Owner and i as the relationship we enjoy has strengthened and deepened. The greater the level of control She exercises the deeper in love with Her i fall and the more i long to submit to Her further.

The story of how Owners control over me has evolved and how my submission to Her has correspondingly deepened is a long one. The journey of our relationship has, at times, been a winding one. There were times when things would go backwards, especially early on or we would be side-swiped events in life that were outside of our control. But our objective always remained the same, Owners control of me and my submission to Her.

At its most basic Owner loves having a wife (me) who does what She is told and who strives to make Her life as comfortable and pleasurable as possible. To that end She has invested time and effort training, disciplining and teaching me to become the wife She wants and which She also deserves. One who gladly and willingly submits to Her.

Today, Owner has control of pretty much all aspects of my life outside of work. That did not happen overnight. It was not a case of Her suddenly waking up one morning, announcing She has full control and hey presto. No, it was a gradual, incremental process that allowed time for each of us to adjust to the new power dynamic between us. Only when a shift in control over one aspect of my life had become normalised did She tighten Her control further. Of late, however, that process has accelerated and i could not be happier.

Before going on to explain how it is important to emphasise here that what we are talking about is the consensual submitting to Her control by me.  In no sense was this forced upon me. Rather, it was something i actively sought and welcomed. The more controlling of me Owner has become the deeper my love and devotion to Her has grown. i love submitting to Her. Being told what to do and controlled by Owner makes me happier than i could ever have imagined possible

Over the years Owner has come to control me not simply sexually (which was the first thing She took control of) but She also also what i wear, whether or not i can go out, what i eat when we are out, what i do with my time, what She expects of me to name but a few. One of the biggest 'moments' in my journey of submitting completely to Her was when i relinquished control of my salary. This was actually done at my own request, it just felt right and proper that i ask Owner if She would do me the honour of permitting have my wages paid into a joint account controlled by Her rather than into my own current account. In return i was given a monthly allowance by Owner of £100 a month, a sum that has remained unchanged for many, many years.

At the time it felt like the biggest shift in our power dynamics. Having my own money to spend as i wish is something that had been part of my life since my teens. Surrendering that, to no longer have financial control and instead receive a monthly allowance, felt and was a big step at the time. It was something i wanted and dreamt about, becoming dependent upon Owner, but initially i found it difficult to actually request. However, in the end i asked Her if She would do me the honour of taking take my financial independence away. Owner agreed and i am so pleased She did. At the time, and we are talking many years ago now, it was an important demonstration of my desire and willingness to submit more deeply to Her. It marked a significant moment in the evolution of our relationship.

It also demonstrates another thing. Owner taking more control over me has, on occasion, been at my own request, a response to my own desire to want to submit more fully to Her. That was the case with my salary. i was a more than willing accomplice, it was me who asked Her if She would do me the honour of taking control of it from me. Owner has ever since exercised Her control of my finances diligently. i love this, love that i no longer have financial autonomy. 

In the past few years Owner has also assumed control of another fundamental aspect of my life outside of work, namely my freedom of movement. As Her submissive wife Owner rightly regards my place as being at home, where She can keep an eye on me or expect to find me. Accordingly, that is where She expects me to be unless i have been invited to accompany Her somewhere. Nowadays, other than on the occasions when i need to leave the house for work, the only time i leave the flat without Her as my escort is when i need to run an errand for Owner or have been given an outdoor challenge to complete by Her. The exception to this is if i have obtained Her permission to go and visit one of my parents. The idea that i might suddenly just decide to go out for a walk on my own, or join colleagues for a drink after work, has become unimaginable. i don't and i wouldn't. My place is at home.

i love living like this, being constrained in were i can go. i am also a very willing participant. It is not as if She locks me in. At any moment i could walk outside. In that respect the door to the cage is always very much open. However, i choose to remain inside. My place is in Owners' home. However, She also regularly take me out, we both love each others company and enjoy doing things together. Owner also enjoys socialising without me with Her friends. On such occasions you will find me at home, contentedly doing the housework until summoned to go and collect Her from the station and walk Her home. Some people may find this strange, others will not. Owner is my life and i am very happy being Her stay at home wife. 

Owner is Her own woman, free to meet and see whoever She wishes, go wherever She wishes, do whatever She wants. i am not. i would not want things any other way. In recent years Owner has taken to going away for a few days with Her best friend. An opportunity for them to let their hair down, re-connect and have a good time. i am really, truly happy to see Her doing this. Owner knows She is free to do whatever She chooses, knowing that Her loyal and obedient wife will always be waiting for Her when She returns home.

Excitingly, to me at least, at the end of last month Owner introduced a new element of control over me. Fed up with me interrupting Her with my trivia and inanities whilst She was busy or reading Owner stipulated that i must now seek Her permission before engaging Her in conversation. To this end i now always wear a lanyard around my neck which i must raise to indicate whenever i wish to say something to Her. i must then wait until She indicates whether or not i am permitted to speak. It is a new form of control that She has introduced and which She now enjoys over me.

This restriction on my freedom of speech has fast become 'normal' to me. The 'permission to speak' lanyard is now the first think i put on when i get out of bed and the last item i take off before going to bed. When i do leave the flat i hang it next to the entrance so that i might put it back on the instant i return. In just a matter of weeks wearing and using it has become second nature to me. i would not wish to go back to how we were, i much prefer my newly muted state.

Which brings me onto the most recent example of Owners' increasing control over me. It happened over the weekend of our wedding anniversary and i hope it marks a new chapter, both in Owners' control over me but in my own willingness to accept and submit to Her authority. It relates to my job. 

My work is quite high profile (in my field) and is attracting growing international interest. Last year i was invited to lecture in Italy and present at a conference in the USA. i was flattered and accepted both invitations without, in truth, really consulting Owner. Although She was pleased for me Owner was upset that i was leaving Her, especially for the USA trip. She made it clear She was not happy that i was going. However, my ego took over and i went anyway. i regret having done so. Doing so upset Owner and also set me back in my own journey of submission to Her.

At my worse i sometimes allow my work to take over my life when what i really want is for my life to be centred around my service to Owner. Serving and submitting to Her is the aspect of my life that makes me happiest and of which i am most proud. i love Her and although i am lucky in that i find my work interesting, i am not in love with it, whereas i am with Her. 

Fast forward to Friday last week. i received a work invitation to attend a workshop in Beijing in China that is taking place this Spring. i have never been to China and was flattered and a little excited. However, i also recognised i would first need to ask Owner. i therefore left it with my manager that i would have to first discuss the invitation with my wife before i responded.

Owners' response was clear and immediate. She did not want me to go.  Before the weekend was out i had emailed the organisers to decline the invitation, letting my manager know as well that i would not be going. Far from feeling disappointed what i actually felt was giddy, giddy with excitement. i realised that in accepting without question Owners decision i had further and willingly submitted and surrendered to Her and Her control. It felt like a really significant moment. The further extension of Her control, and my submission to Her authority, this time in relation to my job. i ended the weekend almost elated at what had happened. i had been offered an opportunity that appeared exciting but which would have taken me away from the person i want to be with above all others. She in turn had been unequivocal in Her view that She did not wish for me to go and, rather than seek to argue, persuade or ignore Her opinion i had accepted it without question. More than that, i had gladly accepted. i was grateful to Her for exerting Her authority over me and proud of the manner in which i readily acquiesced. She exerted control and i submitted. Doing so made me feel really very happy.

There are, i imagine, some readers who may find the above to be strange, perhaps even troubling? If you do, then you really do not fully understand me. i want to be controlled by Owner, the more She does so the more i crave it. My place is at Her side and in Her home. My ambition is to one day be accepted by Her as Her maid servant, perhaps even Her slave. She wants me to be with Her, serving Her, not the other side of the world. That is my place. She does, and always should, come first. 

My work, although rewarding, is as nothing compared to the rewards i receive every day that i have the privilege of serving and submitting to Her. It is right and proper that i stay at home. i hope my staying shows further growth, progress and development on my part in my quest to truly submit unconditionally to Owner. She is the centre of my world.

A Productive Day

We have had an extra bank holiday here in the UK as a result of the death and funeral today of our late Queen. Neither Owner nor i are monarchists and so we have no real interest in the events, but made full use of the extra day off work.

My day began as it usually does with preparing breakfast for Owner followed by studying some Spanish and completing my exercises at the end of my allotted period of being allowed to use the computer. Last night i needed to make a mobile phone call outside of my allocated hours (remembering my phone and computer usage is now heavily restricted to specific hours only) which She had granted but it also meant that i spent an hour today gagged and silenced this morning as a 'thank you'.

i love the 'approved' stamp Owner created in response to my MS Forms submitted request

Later in the morning, after showering and getting dressed, i started to prepare a roast dinner for lunch. Whilst that was cooking i cleaned the bathroom and then after serving lunch and washing and drying the dishes i spent time cleaning the flat windows inside and out. Quite what the neighbours made of me leaning out the window in my stockings and skirt who knows!

With all my tasks done i asked Owner if there was anything else She needed doing? She was doing some of Her translation studies (Owner is super clever when it comes to languages). She replied that there was nothing She needed from me and so i spent the next hour chained up at Her feet in my under-desk cage. i was naked apart from just having me stockings and bra on and had to remain perfectly still as the heavy chains that are attached to my ankles, chastity device, and collar make quite a noise with the slightest movement on my part and Owner hates noise. i gradually am learning how to stay still when i am locked up like this. i am also gagged to completely silence me.

Owner remarked later how much She likes having a 'pet' at Her feet. i confess that being locked like this is something i also find quite wonderful and i now look forward to kneeling or curling into position. It makes me feel loved and secure and also quite aroused as i lie there imaging Owner reaching down and groping my exposed pussy.  She didn't but it was a very distracting thought!

When Owner had completed Her work she invited me to spend some time with Her on the sofa after which i did a little burlesque/strip-tease show for Her. Owner kindly complimented me on my choice of outfit and routine, noting that She thinks i have got better with practice. i did my routine to the Christina Aguilera song Nasty Naughty Boy

This is me ready to begin

And then here are some excerpts from my 'performance' that Owner filmed

It was great fun to do and i look forward to doing another show for Owner in the not too distant future. i would one day love to take some strip-tease or burlesque classes and perform for Her on a real stage. It would be terrifying but thrilling at the same time. i have been on the stage in front of Her (and many others) at a cosplay event but to do so at a strip club or similar venue would be even more fun.

Anyway, back to today. i suspect that i will spend some of my evening locked-up again in my cage (i am typing this during my allotted evening computer usage period of 5-7pm). Then before bed i have been tasked with practising deep-throating a dildo for a bit, it is one of those things that i think gets easier with regular practice, especially over-coming the gag reflex.

Meanwhile, Owner and i have now completed the first week of me in Her new regime. So far it has gone very well. i have studied daily and am making much better use of my free time. i also really welcome the fact that She has further increased Her control over me. That's all from me for now. Take care.

A Tightening Screw

Control and the continued ceding of control over me to Her has long been a cornerstone of the relationship between Owner and i. As the dominant person in our relationship Owner controls many, many aspects of my life and of our lives together. As Her submissive housewife and sex toy it is my place to serve and submit to Her, to make Her life as comfortable as possible, to be by Her side and to do all i can to make myself the best wife i can be for Her. i admit that i still have a long way to go in this regard. At best i might be described as being still very much a work in progress, but i continue to try to improve and become the best submissive housewife to Owner that i can be. The control Owner exercises over me helps me to grow and become the person i strive to be and that Owner deserves. 

i do not resent Her control, i welcome and embrace it. In fact, i want for nothing more than to feel and experience Her absolute control over me, to submit to Her completely. i am extremely lucky in that Owner has long accepted me as Her subordinate, someone to dominate and control and She has displayed great wisdom and skill in strengthening Her control over me and, consequentially, my submission to Her. This did not happen overnight but has instead been the result of an ongoing project. It first began when She seduced and then moved in with me and has gradually accelerated over the following, nearly seventeen, years that we have been together, four and a half of which i have lived as Her legally wedded wife. 

For me, each step on my journey of submission to Owner has been a joy. It has awakened in me a desire to be controlled and dominated further by Her and, as my submission and Her control has strengthened and deepened it has created a bond between us the like of which i could never have imagined possible. What was once idle fantasy has become our daily lived reality and with the passing of time so that lived submission and control has grown in intensity. Yet to me ours is a relationship that feels completely normal. In no way do i or have i ever felt coerced or made to give up my autonomy against my will. Instead, it has felt like a homecoming, like i am finally living the life i am, by my nature, meant to live. A life of surrender to my Owner and control by Her. i have come to learn and appreciate that she truly does know what is best for me and to allow myself to be shaped, moulded and controlled by Her. By giving myself completely to Her i in turn can learn to better serve and submit to Her.

But for us this has not happened overnight. It has been a long, long journey and one which, i hope, still has many more developments in store. Owner and i sometimes joke that we cannot remember what our lives were like before we met and cannot imagine ever going back to living how we did before we knew each other. i for one cannot envisage a life without Her, not simply with Her at the centre of it but of Her controlling all the many aspects of my life that She does. Put simply, i live to be dominated and controlled by Her and the more She does so the happier and more fulfilled i become. Yes sometimes i might still kick back, try to resist but i have come to realise over these years is that although it might not always be easy, what i really, truly want is to be completely dominated by Her. 

For Her part Owner likes to control and dominate me. The longer we have been together the more apparent that has become. Initially i think She held back a little but with time it Her natural dominance blossomed. She stopped trying to be the person She at first thought a dominant woman should look or act like and instead grew into the dominant woman She wanted to become. A unique, strong and beautiful soul. She set about training me and shaping me to make Her own life and my life better through my service and submission to Her and Her control over me.

Owners' control over me takes many forms, some obvious others not. It is more than just sexual in nature. True, one of the first ways Her desire to control me manifested itself was Her insistence that under no circumstances was i to initiate sex with Her. My purpose in bed, as explained by Her to me, was to be Her human sex toy, an object from whom She might extract Her own pleasure at places and times of Her choosing, not mine. It quickly became clear that my penis was surplus to Her requirements. Having no purpose for penetration it was re-branded by Her as my 'clit' and has not been permitted inside Her for a dozen or so years. Whether locked in chastity or not (and She does still like to poke and torment it) my clit has become pointless and redundant. A visible reminder of how much control She now exercises over me and how much i, in turn, embrace and welcome my submission to Her.

Sex and my clit aside Owner controls my daily life in many other ways. She decides what i may or may not have. i am not permitted to make purchases for myself without Her approval. My salary is paid into a joint account (to cover bills etc) from which i receive an allowance of £100 a month. When we go to restaurants Owner chooses what i can eat. Her permission is required before i can post on social media and, if Her permission is forthcoming, She must still approve the content before i post. Owner decides how Her home is run, how it is decorated, where we will go on holiday, what chores i need to do. She does still discuss things with me, asks me for my opinion, will even sometimes let me choose what to watch on TV. However, for the most part it is Her that decides and that, to me, feels exactly as it should be. 

Then there are the countless other little signs of Her control over me. When She says 'tea' She gets a fresh cup of tea, when She says 'water' Her glass is re-filled, 'toenails' and She gets a pedicure. 'hair' and Hers gets done, 'massage' and out comes the oil and lotion and so on. i strive to be attentive to Her needs, to care and look after Her. It is not, however, all one way traffic. When i am unwell Owner takes care of me until i am well enough to return back to my duties and serve Her. She also regularly canes, spanks or beats me, has me clamped, stands me in a corner, sometimes uses me as Her footstool or has me eat from my bowl on the floor, drink Her urine and many other things, including having me permanently marked with symbols of Her authority and control over me. All these things i love to do for Her. if anything i would love for Her to strike me harder, be stricter with me and treat me more harshly so that i might continue to grow and develop in my submission to Her and that She in turn might further extend and exercise Her domination and control over me. i would never have imagined how happy being treated like this could make me feel but it truly is the case that the more i am dominated and controlled by Her the happier i become.

i am, therefore, truly blessed by the fact Owner continues to tighten or strengthen Her control over me. She still finds new ways to exert Her authority and further reduce my ability and opportunity to act or behave autonomously. Two recent developments illustrate this wonderfully. The first of these occurred a month or so ago and saw Owner initiate a new level of control over me. The second is about to start next week.

The first such development is the fact that now, with the exception of when i need to leave Her flat for work purposes or to run errands for Her e.g. to do the shopping,  i am now required to formally seek Owner's permission in writing in order to leave the flat unescorted by Her. For example, if i want to meet friends or family on my own, or do something without Her i now need Her consent. On such occasions i now have to submit a written request stating where, when, why and who i will be meeting and volunteer a punishment to receive in return for being allowed out Her flat by Owner.  When i am allowed out i make sure i am not out for long and that Owner knows where i am and who i am with. Conversely, not that this happens often but i like waiting up for Owner when She goes out. i like when She messages to say that She and Her friends have finished their meal and have gone for drinks. i like not knowing when She will message to say that She is on Her way home so that i might meet Her at the station and carry Her bag for Her whilst She tells me about Her evening. i love the times when She is out enjoying Herself and i am left waiting for Her at home. It feels right that i am at home and She is not.

As Her submissive wife i know that it is important that i spend my time at home where i belong as much as is practicable. i therefore agree that i should only be allowed out unescorted by Her with my Owners' prior permission and that it is right that i be punished in return for the privilege of being allowed out without Her. Owner would, of course, also be perfectly entitled to refuse any requests submitted by me. Any such a refusal on Her part would, in turn, be a powerful reminder to me that i belong to Owner and must do as i am told by Her. Now, had you said to me twenty years ago that i would be at my happiest in a relationship where i had to seek permission to leave the house unescorted other than to go to the shops or to work i would have thought you mad. But here i am and I have never been happier. One of the things i will look forward to when i eventually retire (assuming that one day i am able to) is that i will have one less excuse to be allowed out without Her.

This 'outdoor' rule was only introduced quite recently and within a matter of weeks of it being introduced i became quite unwell with Covid and so was housebound anyway. However, there have been two occasions to date when i have sought permission to leave home unescorted. Both requests were graciously granted by Owner and i was punished accordingly for the privilege. i really welcome this new requirement. It is a clear extension of Owner's control over me and it reinforces my status as Her submissive housewife. It is a powerful reminder that, my place is at home. As my Owner i know She would be fully justified in refusing me permission to leave Her house.

This new 'outdoor' rule felt like quite a significant development in its own right. However, i am really excited to report that Owner is about to combine it with a new 'indoor' requirement as well. Left to my own devices i am prone to becoming lazy and unfocused. Time that i should be spending doing housework, studying Spanish or just generally developing my skills and abilities as Her housewife gets frittered away online etc. Things reached a head just before i became ill when Owner warned me that the situation had become unacceptable and that things would have to change. However, the implementation of the change was then delayed due to my ill-health. Now that i am fully recovered, however, Owner is starting to put Her new 'indoor' plans into action.

The first substantive change She is introducing is that, starting next week, my access to the internet is to be severely curtailed. In future i will only be allowed to go online between the hours of 6-8am and 5-7pm Mondays-Sundays. Outside of these hours i must unplug and put my laptop away and handover my mobile phone to Owner (unless i am out of the house of course). Secondly, again starting next week, i am to study Spanish daily for a minimum of fifteen minutes per day and keep a record of what i have studied. Thirdly, i will only be allowed to watch TV with Owner once i have completed my chores and studies for that day and then only from 9pm onwards, not before. Just as if i want to leave the flat unescorted i must now submit a formal request to Owner in future if I wish to use the internet outside the allotted hours or use my mobile to make a phone call outside these hours or request that i be allowed to postpone that days chores for a particular reason then, once again, i need to seek Owners permission in writing.

The above is all intended to reduce the amount of time that i waste when i could instead be studying or doing housework or other chores. Again, this represents a further extension of Owner's control over me and is one that i greatly welcome. i know that i need to be more focused and learn to be a better and more productive wife for Her and i think this new indoor rule will greatly help with my development.

However, this is not the only change Owner is introducing. To complement the above 'indoor' rules Owner is also revamping my performance reviews. At present She gives me a daily score out of 5 which then gets averaged each month to monitor my behaviour. She has now devised an online assessment (using Microsoft Forms) against which my performance will be scored by Her against a set of fixed criteria. This should result in a more objective and thorough assessment of my performance. Rather than daily this assessment will happen on a weekly basis. Previously my performance score did not result in any consequences for me i.e. i was not punished etc for a low score. Owner has informed me that this will change.

Finally, Owner is actively considering other ways in which She might further extend Her control over me. This includes the possible use of a dog cage for me i.e. something to lock me up inside of, amongst other possible developments. It feels like exciting new chapter in the evolution of our relationship may be beginning. i just hope that i live up to Her expectations. Thank you Owner for controlling me as you do, i am truly the luckiest and happiest person alive.

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions and the Exercise of Control

It should come as no surprise to anyone who reads this blog that, in our relationship, it is Owner who makes the decisions. It would not, after all, be a female-led/femdom relationship were that not the case. This control did not magically happen overnight. Surrendering and taking control is not a straightforward thing to do, it can and does take adjusting to by both parties and, in certain areas is not something that should be entered into unless you fully know and trust the other person.

For us it began gradually, developing over time as i surrendered control and submitted fully to Owner. To both of us it is important that Owner's authority and my submission extends to all aspects of our lives. We live this way 24/7 and 365 days a year so it has been important to us that Owners' control over me is practical, can be achieved whatever the circumstances and does not place additional burdens on Her. Fundamentally i should be making Owners' life easier and more enjoyable not creating more work for Her.

Today Owner controls almost every aspect of my life outside of work. Some examples of this include:

• Financial control - my salary goes into a joint account which i can use for household expenses but only with Her permission. i receive a small monthly allowance from that account to use to make small in-month purchases e.g. things like buying drinks in a cafe. 
• Clothing - it is Owner who approves any clothing that i might be permitted to purchase. i may suggest items to Her but may not purchase anything without Her approval. Requests are regularly denied but She often treats me by buying me surprise outfits, pretty underwear etc.
  
• This blog and Facebook - Owner checks and edits all draft posts to this blog and vets and limits what i put on Facebook. 
• Sex - i am not permitted to initiate any type of sexual activity. My body exists solely for Her to use at a time of Her choosing for Her own pleasure and amusement. Most of the time i am kept locked in chastity and denied permission to orgasm. 
• Home furnishing and decor  - our flat is decorated to Owners' taste. My personal effects were disposed of or put in the loft, bar one or two items of sentimental value.
• Eating out - Owner chooses what i will eat or drink when we go out.
• Decision making - in general all decisions are made by Owner, albeit with input from me (see below for what happens when i am asked to decide).
  

All the above, and more, work pretty well and we have quite a well-oiled machine when it comes to Owners' control over me. However, an unfortunate consequence of ceding so much control to your dominant partner is that, rather than making their life easier and more stress-free, you can end up increasing the workload for them considerably. 

To avoid this his we have sometimes adjusted or abandoned some things. At one stage Owner decided what clothes i should wear on a daily basis but we stopped doing this, largely because it was such a faff for Her to have to do. Instead, we simply have some basic expectations of what i will wear in certain circumstances. For example, i will wear skirts and look 'smart secretarial' when i am working from home except on a Friday when i can dress less formally. Likewise, when doing my household chores it is expected that i will wear one of my cleaning uniforms. 

Another form of control that was in place at one point but is no more is that i am no longer collared and cuffed at home. i used to be but have not been for some time now. It was reassuring to be restrained in this manner and is something that i would like to re-start. It was a clear sign of control and helped to delineate my 'working' self from my 'at home' self. Covid and the subsequent lockdown obliterated the lines between these two selves and i admit i miss no longer being physically restrained as i once was. It did, however, create some practical issues e.g. the need to unlock to answer the door.

Another way Owner has found to lessen the burden of decision-making for Her is through the use of dice and cards. She bought some blank-faced dice on which She can write instructions which i then have to randomly 'obey' through a roll of the dice, avoiding the need for Her to regularly come up with new instructions. There are dice that determine whether and for how long i am in chastity and dice that determine where and what type of monthly outdoor 'challenge' i must undertake. The dice have been loaded by Her but, having done this, they can then be used repeatedly whilst ensuring that i am left unsure of what each roll may decide.

A more recent development (as in the last 18 months) has been the use of instructional cards which contain orders from Her. Owner has various sets of these each of which relate to a specific requirement or activity e.g. weekly discipline cards, cards the detail 'treats' for Her, weekly indoor 'challenge' cards and special meal request cards. Having taken the time to write these out and place them in separate bags the cards can then be used for months on end until the last of the particular set of cards has been drawn and Her instruction followed. They then generally get re-used or added to with new cards as fresh ideas strike Owner. This does require some significant initial work by Owner but then leaves the rest of the year free for the cards to decide my fate rather than Her having to keep thinking of fresh things on a daily/weekly/monthly basis. This way it reduces, to some extent, the work for Her.

So far, so good. However, there are occasions, say when Owner is unwell or genuinely does not have a strong view either way on a matter, when She will ask me to decide. These moments can prove quite challenging (for me). i have become so accustomed to simply waiting for Her decision (or making a suggestion when asked) that i find having to make an actual decision myself can be difficult. My 'default' mode is to try and think She would like. Even if i have a strong preference myself the idea that i might put my own desires over Hers, even though i have been instructed to decide, is something that makes me feel deeply uncomfortable and causes me to prevaricate, which in itself is a breach of Her order to me to make a decision. 

i like to input suggestions and Owner almost always asks me for my opinion, especially for big decisions, but it is almost always Her that decides. This is what i am most comfortable with, making a suggestion but knowing that, in the end, She knows best. It is when the boot is suddenly on the other foot and She instructs me to decide that i get all flustered, so i am pleased that this does not happen very often.

In the future i would love for Owners' control over me to tighten still further, for example needing Her permission to use the bathroom or the furniture or to leave the flat but i am conscious of the need for this to be practical and to not create additional burdens for Her.  It would be interesting to hear from readers about what aspects of their lives their dominant partner controls.

Oh, but what a long and rambling post! Owner is going to hate me for having to read and edit all of this so i should try and bring things to a close. i leave you with two 'scenes' from my week. The first image is from when i was again instructed to wear a butt plug whilst working from home. The second two photos are from last night, when i was instructed to practice before bed with my 12 inch double-ended deep-throat training dildo. It has been a while since i have last done this and was a little out of practice! Well done to anyone who has read to the end of this, i hope i have not bored you rigid!

plugged pet

Ready, steady....

Do try not to gag!

Anal Tentacle

Well, i bet that headline got your attention! Last night Owner and i sat down and had a conversation that left me feeling hot, aroused and excitable, my 'pussy' quivering in anticipation whilst my 'clit' bulged and strained futilely inside its weekend cage. Incidentally, it has been 80+ days now since my last orgasm. Anyway, i digress. What was the cause of my excitement? 

The discussion was about my forthcoming 51st birthday (16th January) and what Owner was thinking of getting me for one of my presents. She had asked me if there was anything in particular that i wanted, to which my response was either 'something pretty or naughty'. In truth, there is nothing that i actually 'need' and as 'experiences' are, for the most part, not possible due to Covid-19 (our presents to each other often involve travel) then basically my 'desires' can be distilled down to pretty clothes or sex toys, slut by name and slut by nature that i am.

Owner must have been thinking along similar lines for She showed me some cosplay outfits that She had been researching for me, with the idea of a photo shoot and the prospect of again appearing on stage in something in a post-Covid world.  Regular readers will recall that i appeared on stage in the London anime and gaming convention at the start of this year (in what feels like a different world) dressed in my Hideri Kanzaki maid's outfit. It was a real thrill appearing in front of a live audience, especially as i had never done so before and was locked in chastity under my short dress and little panties. Owner has agreed that it is something that She wants to have me do again when the world returns to normal. i say all this as the idea of a new outfit to wear was an intrinsically exciting one. Owner had found an outfit from one of Her and my favourite manga series, one called Shimometa. The outfit was the school uniform worn by one of the female characters, Ayame Kajou. As you can imagine this was an exciting enough idea for a birthday present.

But, but, but, then Owner announced that She had also been researching dildos and perhaps i would like one of those instead? What a choice! School girls outfit or a dildo? It turned out, however, that She did not have just any old dildo in mind. These were custom-made ones. She showed me the ones She had short-listed and i have to say i immediately fell into a sort of swoon. OMG! They all looked amazing, my heart fluttered and i am sure my pussy winked open and shut just at the prospect. This is the shortlist She presented to me (click on the pictures to take you to the website)

What a sight for slutty, lascivious eyes, and what a choice! All can be dyed to whatever colour combination that you want and all have some lovely-sized options. i instantly knew that i would love to have one of these for my birthday and leave the cosplay outfit to another day (perhaps closer to when i could actually wear it on stage). Owner was happy to go along with that so it now just came down to choosing which plug/dildo to get.

The bottom one of the three pictures (Noax) above looks satisfyingly 'filling' so i was quite tempted at first by that - i do so love to be opened up. But then again, the one above (Mundir), well what can i say. It looks amazing. But the text also states that it has been especially designed to trigger the 'p' spot and given that i need to control leakages of any kind unless expressly authorised by Owner then i knew that could be a challenge, but oh i was sooo tempted. That extra-large one looks, well...wow!

In the end, however, i went for 'Qwim' the tentacle in large. Just the thought of that snaking and thrusting its way inside me makes me wet. i mean, look at it, it looks amazing and quite unlike any of the other toys that i have had the pleasured of accommodating in my pussy - though in truth i would be delighted to try and accommodate them all, plus the can!

So the 16th January promises to be quite an 'interesting' day. Not only will i turn 51 years old but i will have a wonderful new toy to experience. It is also the day when the monthly outdoor challenge dice is rolled AND it is also when i next get to roll the chastity dice. Will i return to a tighter lock down than the one i am in now (weekends only for a period of 3 months). We shall have to see.

All that, of course, is to come (not cum!). In the meantime, we continue the countdown to Christmas. Today's advent calendar required that i receive 200 strokes of the cane in return for a 'gift'. Owner alternated between caning me on the buttocks and on the backs of my thighs (which definitely hurts more than the buttocks). As She did so She waxed lyrical about what a lovely cane i had bought Her and how much She enjoys caning me. As She informed me of this i 'presented myself' on my knees on the sofa and counted off each stroke until She reached the two hundred mark. You can see below that Owner's efforts left me with a pleasantly warm backside

So, what 'gift' did i get in return for my morning caning? i got a super cute pair of socks which bear the legend 'Breaking news - i don't care' which Owner stated was highly appropriate for me as i do not care what people may think of me. This is one of the things that i have come to realise as i get older, whereas once i may have been embarrassed or ashamed to admit who i am at heart i.e. an exhibitionist, transvestite, submissive slut, now i could not care less what others may think of me. 

i consider myself to be extremely lucky to have met (and ultimately married) a wonderful, beautiful and creative Owner whom i love and adore and who accepts me as i am (encourages me even) and dominates me and has me submit to Her 24/7 and 365 days a year. Ours is not a game (although as you can see i have a lot of fun) it is how we live every aspect of our life. Yes, we also do the things that all other couples do but She also controls me completely and i would not want to live any other way.