The Show Must Go On

i owe everyone an apology, Owner especially for having been quite rubbish of late. i have become distracted by work, which at times has been quite shit and by the general state of the world, even more shit. Consequently my mind has been elsewhere and my performance and behaviours have not been anywhere close to the levels Owner expects and that i aspire to provide.

i have allowed my mind and my focus to be elsewhere rather than focussed as it should be on serving and submitting to Owner. i have been distracted and have grown wan and listless. i have kept up my Spanish studies but my exercises have become irregular and i have put on the pounds. Daily chores, whilst still undertaken, have not been fully completed, not have punishments been requested as they should be.

In short, i have been quite shit.

i am someone who can be 'in my head' quite a bit. Normally that is a good thing, it helps with my focus, submission and service. However, there are times that part of me becomes subsumed under other worries and concerns and i kind of lose touch with myself a bit, the happy submissive and playful side of me. Sadly i have been in one of those places of late.

To make matters worse Owner and i are currently in different countries and i am missing Her terribly. She flew out to Spain on Saturday and i head out to join Her this coming Friday. Neither of us likes being apart from one another.

The positive is that neither of us wants this new 'relaxed' (in terms of my behaviour) state of affairs to continue. We both desire the return of 'normal' me i.e. a submissive, contented, horny and frustrated pet who is regularly tortured and punished by his Owner and who dotes on and serves Her and keeps everything in Her life 'just so' whilst still being good company. Someone focussed on Her and nothing else.

i am trying to get back to that state of mind. It really is the place in which i am at my happiest and most contented, it is just that work and the world seem to conspire against me on a daily basis. But, we must overcome. Better times can still be ahead.

So with that in mind, and with Owners permission even though She is not here to supervise me, i was allowed to still do my monthly outdoor challenge. The dice were rolled and... drumroll please, they showed that i was to do a bra flash outside a train station that is about 15 minutes from where we live. Incidentally, i videoed the dice roll, which was done immediately after I woke up, so Owner could be reassured it was done properly. If you are curious to know what sort of state i look like just after i have rolled out of bed scroll to the very end and you can see the video of me, in my nightie with my bed hair.

But, back to the challenge. It is a warm summers day here in London so i decided to complete my challenge wearing my short denim skirt and a little sleeveless and slightly cropped summer blouse – which sort of reveals my bra a little bit anyway, even i pulled it down to show-off my pretty lace cups.

The result looked like this

As promised, for the curious wanting to know what I look like first thing (and I warn you it is not pretty) this is the dice-roll video i recorded for Owner this morning