Notes from a Happy Place - Top Tips for a Successful FLR from Owner and i

The best thing that has ever happened to me in my life was getting an opportunity to know, live with, love and submit to Owner. i joke with Her that my life cleaves into two halves. The first half (which included my first marriage) being my life before meeting Her and the second, much happier and more fulfilled half which is my life since meeting Her. She has changed, improved and enhanced me and my life in so, so many ways. i love Her and always will and hope to be with Her until i draw my final breath.

What has made my life with Owner so much more fulfilling and rewarding, and what has really cemented our relationship as a couple, has been the fact that, from a very early stage, ours has been a Female-Led Relationship (FLR). Put simply, Owner is in charge and i submit to Her authority. Her control over me and my submission to Her extends to all aspects of our life. It is our lived 24/7 experience and has been for the best part of approaching 18 years. In that time it has evolved, strengthened and deepened and now encompasses everything from how Owner's flat is furnished and kept, my responsibility for all cleaning, cooking, washing etc, my finances, what i can or cannot purchase, what i eat and drink, whether i am allowed out, what i wear and all matters sexual. 

Our relationship did not get to the point it has overnight. It has developed over time and i am sure it will continue to grow and evolve. However, i wanted to try and take stock and set down what i think are the key things that make it work for us. A set of top tips if you like. It is important to say that what follows reflects what has worked well for Owner and i, they may not for others and there are many different types of FLR out there. This is simply what we think has ensured our own FLR has (and continues) to work well for us.

1 - Love and respect  ours is a very loving relationship and, although Owner's authority is absolute She is always interested in my views and respects me, Her lifetime partner and wife as do i Her, whilst also accepting Her domination and control over me.

2 - Communicate with each other Owner is my best friend and i am Hers. We talk freely and, if at times i am not sure how best to say something to Her, i write to Her. For instance, when i first asked Her if i might be allowed to submit to Her i did so in writing.

3 - Don't rush, an FLR is not built in a day our relationship has grown and evolved over many years. This has enabled us to gradually evolve, get accustomed to a changed dynamic (neither of us had been in such relationships before), and has ensured that my submission and Owners' control is much deeper, has more permanent roots. Our relationship is better able to weather the inevitable hiccups than i think would have been the case had we aimed for where we are now at the outset and then been disappointed by a likely inevitable failure. Take small steps, wait until those are embedded and become habitualised then extend further. We hope to continue to be developing and evolving and growing in our FLR for many, many more years to come.

4 - It is about what She wants quite early into our journey it is probably fair to say that Owner tried to provide me with the fantasy FLR that She thought i wanted from Her. There was a lot of emphasis on sexual play and Owner dressed in a manner that She thought was expected by me of Her i.e. stockings etc, which is not Her style of dress at all. Our initial foray was more about my own fantasy idea of being controlled by a beautiful dominant woman than Her idea of what She wanted in a submissive That changed as Owner grew in confidence and i educated myself to become a better submissive to Her. The stockings etc were quickly ditched and the emphasis placed firmly on what gave Her pleasure and enjoyment and what She wanted out of the relationship, which is how it should be. Owner would not be seen dead in a skirt or stockings these days. She dresses how She wants and not to appeal to any male fantasy idea of what a dominant woman might look like. She does, of course, still look just as beautiful. That is not to say that everything is solely about Owner. She does still treat me at times to things that She knows i will like but which She may be much more ambivalent about. But She does that now from a position of genuine authority and control rather than from trying to do something to please me because She thinks that is what i want from Her. Looking back, although at the time i described us as being an FLR couple i would say it was a few years before we both learnt how to genuinely become one, before the societal norms and expectations were shed and Owner stepped into a position of full control and i fully accepted Her authority.

5 - It is not simply about sex well of course sex plays a part but it is the icing on the FLR cake, it is not the cake itself. So much of our dynamic and my submission to Her involves nothing at all of an overtly sexual nature (by that i mean direct sexual pleasure/stimulation). It is much more a mental thing, a happiness, security and comfort even (on my part) that comes from Owner's control of me. It is an expression of Her love for me just as my submission to Her is a reflection of my love for Her. Absolutely there is a sexual element. For me that is the sublime pleasure i get from helping Her experience sexual release and satisfaction. My own sexual pleasure is now denied. That again is an example of something that did not happen overnight. It occurred gradually. Early on in our relationship i was denied permission to penetrate Owner with my clit, that then gradually evolved to only being allowed to climax through having my labia/testes spanked hard and, more recently, not being permitted to climax at all - it is now 14 months since my last orgasm.

6 - Submission and control extends to all aspects of life, again FLR is about much, much more than what happens in the bedroom. For us it now pretty much encompasses every aspect of my life outside of work (and i can't wait for the day when i no longer have to work and it can fully extend to every waking hour of my life). i have surrendered control over all aspects of my life to Owner, from money, to what i wear, what i eat and drink, what i write on social media (everything that appears on this blog is first checked by Owner, this is also true of my Facebook account), whether or not i am allowed out unaccompanied by Her etc, etc. My default is the expectation that i need Her permission for pretty much anything. Owner seeks my views and input to decisions but She decides, both for Herself and for me. Failure on my part to remember this is punished, and rightly so. This did not happen overnight, It took quite some time to get to the point we have now. Surrendering control of my money was (rightly) not an easy thing to do but i have no regrets about having done so. My life has improved dramatically in so many ways now that Owner controls me in the way She does. She is actually a very benign ruler, something we have discussed as not always being in my best interests! i hope that, overtime, She might also become more authoritarian with me but i also know that She is not by nature an austere dominatrix. But Her control continues to gradually extend and deepen as does Her readiness to enforce it, physically or by other means if needed. It will be interesting to see how things have evolved in another 18 years time!

7 - FLR is fun as well as being best friends Owner and i also make each laugh, a lot. Neither of us takes things too seriously and although we are both very serious about our relationship and how fundamental Her dominance and my submission is to it, that does not mean we cannot have fun together and enjoy each others company. Hers is not an austere prison regime and i am not Her slave. Neither of us take ourselves that seriously and there are many occasions when we have both ended up in fits of giggles in the middle of what was a supposedly serious moment.

8 - Time spent together is the best time we are each others best friend. Owner and i are that couple who are always together and we both greatly enjoy each others company. In bed, in the park or in the pub and everywhere in between there is no place i would rather be than with Her, and the feeling i know is mutual. i need Owners written permission to spend time away from Her outside of work, or for the purpose of running errands for Her, whereas She can and does spend time with whomsoever She pleases.

9 - Be open to try new things and don't be afraid of 'failure' there are things that have become important to Owner and i that did not start out that way. i do not naturally like pain (i am not a masochist) and Owner was initially reluctant to inflict it upon me. However, She discovered that beating me could be pleasurable and enjoyable for Her and i learnt to embrace and tolerate pain. Owner normally beats me each week, on occasions when that does not happen for some reason i now genuinely miss Her crop, paddle, whip or cane. More recently, Owner has discovered the fun to be had with electro-torture. We both discovered a shared passion for piss, mine for consuming Hers and Her for having me drink Her urine. My 'forced feminisation' rapidly escalated when it tapped into and released a deeply feminine side of me that i had long sought to suppress, it changed me forever. Other things didn't work as well. Contracts were initially written but soon abandoned, replaced instead by a long-term training regime.

10 - Celebrate and be proud of who you are as a couple the anniversary of  of our first ever meeting, when we then started dating and of our wedding are all important dates in our calendar which are celebrated each year without fail. i have been inked and pierced by Owner and i am proud of that, proud of the fact that my body has been indelibly marked as Hers. i am collared and glad to wear the symbol of my submission to Her. Owner has a key on a chain symbolic of my almost permanently locked in chastity status and Her broader Ownership of me which She regularly wears.

Over the period of our relationship there are also some things that i have learnt about myself, some of which came as something of a surprise, others i perhaps knew where there just never really acknowledged. These are (in no particular order);

• the less autonomy i have, the happier in myself i am
• i benefit from being given rules and routines to follow
• i am, by nature, both an exhibitionist and a slut and love to behave and be treated as such
  
• the feminine side of me is the 'real' me, the me that feels most natural and the one in which i am most at ease with myself
• being physically restrained is calming, comforting and a great way to clear my head
• i love, love, love serving Owner and feeling i am being of use to Her
  
• i enjoy cleaning, cooking and housework and learning useful new skills
  
• being thought of as a slutty, submissive wife is more validating than my professional career and gives me the most satisfaction in life
• discipline, structure, submission to Owner and routine helps me to become a better version of me
• pleasing and pleasuring Owner, making Her happy, makes me very happy
  
• i do not miss sex as i once knew and experienced it nor, surprisingly, do i miss being able to orgasm. In fact, i actually prefer to be kept in a state of permanent denial
• i adore drinking Owners' piss and licking out Her wonderful arse
• i look forward to being caned, paddled, spanked or whipped
• i hope to be known and 'seen' by others as Owner's submissive wife
• what to me is now 'normal' about how i live my life now would have seemed quite extreme or weird to me before i started down this FLR road, such is the personal journey i have been on
  
• i have now come to be a firm believer in female supremacy. Ironically, Owner does not share this view.

So anyway, this is a bit more about us, what makes us and me tick and our FLR relationship work as it does. i would love to hear if any of this resonates with other readers.

A Productive But Chilled Weekend

Owner and i are enjoying a productive weekend but one that has also seen us both relax and chill-out together. The weekend started with me doing some housework and having the opportunity to imbibe a delicious glass of Owner's finest nectar.

Next we moved onto a period of intensive clothes rummaging to identify items to be donated to charity. i should explain a key difference between Owner and i. It is that i am a horder and Owner is not. Given half the chance i will hold onto anything and everything on the off-chance that it might, some day in the dim and distant future, be of use. Over the years Owner has successfully managed to ensure i get rid of nearly everything that is not essential to me, or more importantly, of use to Her. My books, records, ornaments and general bric-a-brac have all long gone to the great jumble sale in the sky [Edit by Owner - I would like to point out that your CDs are still all on display and the two metal candlesticks are also yours]. Other than one or two items of genuine sentimental value everything on display in our flat is Hers [Owner: this is a lie]. Yes, our female-led relationship extends to household items too :)

Anyway, back to clothing. Owner presented me with an ultimatum, namely to identify clothes that i don't wear that could be recycled as my side of the wardrobe was getting 'ridiculous'. It was hard going through things and pulling stuff out to get rid of, but i did as i was told and soon had a couple of piles of clothes and shoes to get rid of. Owner also did the same exercise (unlike me She regularly has big clear-outs). Between us we filled five large black bin bags full of clothes, shoes and bags to donate to charity. Hopefully, my wardrobe is now 'safe' for a few more months [Owner: I will be the judge of that].

i also did some baking. i love to bake for Owner but for various reasons have not done so for ages. It felt good to have my hands deep in dough again and the resultant biscuits were, according to Owner, delicious.

On returning Owner gave me a caning (postponed from the night before on account of Her feeling knackered from work). i was caned hard across my bottom whilst my chastised clit was adorned with twenty mini-clothes pegs. It was painful but my bottom felt delightfully 'hot' afterwards.

caned bottom and thighs

caged clit adorned with pegs

It is not all about pain and punishments i do sometimes get to experience some pleasure too. Earlier in the week, after i had done my outdoor challenge, Owner treated me by allowing me to fuck myself with one of Her dildo's under Her supervision. It was a rare pleasure and one i quickly started to enjoy. Luckily Owner was on hand to ensure that i did not enjoy it too much. i was a good 'gurl' and didn't even leak let alone get anywhere close to cumming. However, it did leave me feeling wonderfully aroused.

Then yesterday, Owner returned from the shops with some drinks for us to have at home (rum and coke for Her and cider for me) whilst we settled in and watched a movie together. The film we saw was a wonderful Danish production called Another Round about a group of middle-aged, male teachers who decide their work and relationships would be much improved if they spent all of their time drunk. It is fair to say their efforts end with mixed results. The film is superbly acted and is one of the greatest discourses on alcohol (good and bad) i have seen. It is well worth a watch.

Today, after completing my daily list of chores and my Spanish study (which incidentally i have been doing religiously everyday apart from on days when i was ill) Owner and i are booked to go the cinema to watch Aftersun which also promises to be good. 

i hope everyone else is having an equally enjoyable and productive weekend.

24/7 Female-Led/Femdom Reality vs Fantasy

Earlier this week i was lying on the floor in our lounge, knees bent, legs spread inserting a freshly fellated dildo into my pussy under Owner's watchful gaze. She had me fuck myself at Her feet like that for ten minutes (She timed me) whilst She read stuff on Her phone. As i lay there, thrusting the fake cock deep inside of me, taking it out to fellate it some more and then pushing back inside again as She remained disinterestedly focused on Her phone, a thought occurred to me. The thought was this. How lucky, how incredibly lucky i am that this passes for a kind of normal thing to do in Owner's home. 

Sometimes i get clamped, quite often i am caned and spanked, there are days when i will get sent outside to complete a challenge, all my meals are served in a dog bowl (sometimes it is placed on the floor), i often get to drink Owners golden nectar, occasionally i get to lick out Her anus. i have daily tasks and chores and once in a blue moon i might be made to cum. All of these i will generally write about and set down in this blog.

However, are these, my everyday lived experience of life in Female-led/Femdon relationship? Well yes and no. Somethings are constant, have become everyday examples of my submission to Owner, of Her control over me. The chores i do, the decisions i no longer make and that She makes for me, the routines i follow and so on. But my day, our life together is made-up of many, many more moments that rarely ever get set down on a page. Many are mundane. Cuddling as we watch a TV series together. Sharing ideas about things we might do together, although of course She ultimately decides. Then there is work, much of which is still done from home. Brief catch-ups between zoom meetings and deadlines.

Then there are the small dramas. The elderly father (mine) who needs help re-housing, the family bust-ups and reconciliations, the home improvement works, the boiler breakdowns and water leaks. The periods of personal crisis and ill-health. The acute anxiety Owner went through that saw her unable to work for a while. The time my back left me unable to walk for a few months. The years of struggle Owner has had with hormonal migraines, then the menopause, a frozen shoulder and worsening migraines that at times leave Her barely able to function.

All of these are just as much a part of our life together, of our shared experiences as Dominant and submissive, Mistress and housewife, Owner and Her whore. i tend not to write much or ever about them. But they too define who we are, have shaped us on this wonderful journey. And yes, it is a journey. New things get added, some things we once did fall into disuse. We grow, we change.

The most wonderful thing though is that each day, each week, each month and each year feels as fresh and exciting and full of joy and anticipation and desire as it did when we first got together. In fact, even more so. Our path, our journey has worked for us, it might not work for others. 

Owner is not a leather-clad, whip wielding sadist who rules over me with a rod of iron. For one thing She is someone who feels most comfortable in tracksuit bottoms and a hoodie. The only one in Her household who ever wears stockings, skirts and heels is me. When She canes me or spanks me She's usually in trainers or slippers. She also loves me deeply and it took a while for Her to Herself become comfortable with the idea of beating or caning me. Over time, She has come to enjoy if greatly, far more than me!

She controls me in many different ways, and she just instituted a new requirement that, apart from when i need to leave for work or get provisions from the shops, i need to submit a formal request in writing to Her asking permission to be allowed out the house unaccompanied by Her. To this end She asked me to create a form (She will often get me to come up with suggestions for Her), which i did and which was first used today when i sought permission to go and sunbathe in the park in the sun. i have copied the form below in case anyone is interested. To me it is a natural progression of the existing control She exerts over my life.

me in the park wearing my bunny-ear sunhat that Owner required i took after submitting my form to Her for approval to go unaccompanied

And the new blank form that i must fill in and submit to Her and get approved before i can go out the flat unaccompanied, unless for work or to go shopping for provisions.

And, yes. Tonight She will beat me and then cane me too as 'payment' for having been allowed to sunbathe at lunchtime. But then later, when chores etc have been done we will cuddle and watch TV and laugh and joke and chat and do all the things other couples do. And that is just as much a part of the reality of our relationship together as any of the other things i post on here.

Sometimes It Is The Little Things

And, no this is not a blog post about my clitty (this in direct response to Owner when She saw the title) - though with a title like this one has it could easily be about my little clit 😉.

But, no. This is not a post about my clit, or any other part of my anatomy for that matter. No, this is a post about the day-to-day reality of living as Owners' 24/7 submissive wife. Regular readers will know that for many, many years now Owner and i have been living together as a Femdom/FLR, call it what you will, couple. This is not something we dabble in at weekends or on the odd day here and there. We try to make my submission to Her an everyday lived reality that gets incorporated into all aspects of our lives.

Like everyone there are days when other factors (work, health issues, general stress, family visits etc, etc) have an impact on our lives and, more specifically how i manifest my submission to Owner. But generally every day is filled with acts and routines each of which are a sign of my submission to and Owners control over me. Then there are also the 'big events', moments that occur less frequently, once or twice a week or once a month, and so on where the nature of our relationship is reinforced more dramatically. For example, my weekly beatings/canings fall into such a category, as too would the public challenges i am asked to perform.

Then again there are the rules i live by which have become so ingrained over the years as to have become second nature. For example to ask for permission to be allowed to purchase something, to post something on social media, to not expect to choose what i will eat when we go to a restaurant etc etc. There are a multitude of such rules that have gradually just become a part of my/our daily lived reality.

But for me the real icing on the cake are the little moments that occur the tiny incidental moments of authority or control. These are what make this submissive heart sing. The sudden demand for 'get me that' or 'do this' or 'do that'. These are often book-ended with a 'can you' or 'please' but to me they are most appreciated when they are not, when they are uttered as a simple and direct order or instruction. These are the moments that i love and appreciate the most as they truly remind me not just of whom i am but also that i have an Owner who enjoys, and treats as second nature, Her authority over me.

Owner is no harridan, She does not harshly punish me and only chastises me on occasion (and when it will always have been warranted). Life under Her rule is, in many respects, i suspect no different to countless millions of other couples who would never consider themselves to be in a Femdom relationship. For ours to be able to work day-in and day-out in the way it does the first thing that went out of the window was the fantasy Femdom that, all too depressingly, so often seems to be the only kind portrayed in most magazines, websites or films that claim to depict such relationships. i suspect such portrayals probably put off many women from the outset, sadly depriving them of the benefits and opportunities such a relationship can provide. To any readers who do have such a relationship of a 24/7 basis then i take my hat off to you, for us we could just never imagine how it could work, quite aside from the fact that Owner is much more of a hoodie and tracksuit bottoms girl than a whip-wielding leather or rubber clad-one. She does wield Her whip, but She does wearing trainers not skirts and high-heels. In fact, i am literally the only one who wears heels, skirts and stockings in Her house.

i am, however, rambling so i will draw this to a close. i guess all i wanted to say really was that sometimes (often actually) it is the small, everyday examples of Owner's control over me and my happy submission to Her that give me the greatest happiness. To be told by Her what to do or what not to do truly does make my submissive heart sing.

i leave you with a gratuitous tit shot from this evening. In this case my little tits, clamped as i prepared to wash-up after dinner. Owner had me wear the clamps for a full hour. It is safe to say my tits are now positively 'glowing' and really quite sensitive.

14 Years - An Homage To Life With My Owner

Yesterday was the 14th anniversary of when Owner and i first met each other in real life.  We were both coming out of divorces and were looking for some new friends or people to meet on a now  defunct online website called 'Friendster'. Neither of us was looking for a relationship, just some new people to get to know in London and had each joined the site on the recommendation of other friends of ours. We chatted on and off and, after a few weeks, set a date to meet up for dinner. That date was the 31st May 2005. It was to be another almost five months before we went from being 'just friends' who met regulalrly to go to the cinema or for drinks to relationship that became a little more intimate. Fourteen years on look at us now.

Part of me can't believe so much time has passed and yet i also find it hard to recall what my life was like before we met. My life divides neatly into two epochs, life before Owner and life with Her. My life before Her was so completely different in some many ways. i too was a very different person back then. We were both almost completely vanilla in lifestyle back then. Had you said to us back then that we would end-up in a Female-led relationship in which Owner controls and determines pretty much every aspect of my life outside of work, and that i am delighted that She does, neither of us would have believed you. Equally, had you said that i would be living as Owners' wife, would wear women's clothes and make-up daily, including to work, neither of us would have believed you - me especially! Had you said that i would be collared and be proud to wear my collar wherever i went, that my body would be adorned with tattoos symbolising our deepening Femdom relationship i would have been amazed. Had you said that i would have willingly handed over full financial control to Owner and have Her be the one who makes all decisions affecting our lives i would have, to put it mildly, been a bit surprised. Had you told me then that in fourteen years time i would long to be kept in permanent sexual denial, be grateful (truly so) for the fact that Owner maintains me in chastity and denies me permission to orgasm, i would have thought i must have gone mad with old age. But here we are 14 years on and all the above and more, much more is true. And i am the happiest  and luckiest person alive. What is more, we have had fourteen years together that have been filled with fun and shared experiences. We are each others best friends and are almost totally inseparable from one another.

The 31st of May is actually one of three (yes three!) anniversaries we celebrate each year. The other two are the 6th October (the first time we kissed) and the 16th February (our wedding anniversary). However, the 31st May has always felt quite special. It marked the start of our journey together and though it would take us until October that year to go from 'just friends' to something more serious - and only then because Owner tired of waiting for me to make a move on Her and so snogged me in Charing Cross station as She was heading home one evening. Believe it or not i am actually quite shy in some regards!

This year Owner is gifting me two further examples of Her domination and control over me. Two further symbols of my joyous submission to Her.  The first gift will be coming in the form of another tattoo. i am already adorned with a number of permanent symbols of our relationship and my submission to Her and shortly i will be getting another. This time i will be adorned with the image of Owner's pet name for me. My blog gives my name as 'poppet sub slut', my blogger profile is 'Happy Pet' but Owner refers to me by a different name. To Her i am 'Petunio' and soon i will be tattooed with an image of the flower from which Her pet name for me is derived derived - the petunia. It will look so pretty! She is currently choosing an image She likes and will then provide the design for me to take to take to arrange to have done. Owner will also choose the location on my body the tattoo will go, as She has done for the other tattoos i have that symbolise aspects of our lives together.

Her second gift of domination relates to Her control over me and the level of free will i enjoy. Gradually and incrementally Owner has (with my full consent) taken greater and greater control over my life. These range from things such as finances (my salary goes straight to a joint account which i can use for household or essential purchases only - i instead receive a monthly allowance from Her) to Her choosing what clothes i might be permitted to buy and wear. Other examples of Her control in include Her vetting all drafts of everything that i write on this blog, choosing where we will go on holiday, determining when and what i can post on social media, how our flat is decorated. She even chooses what i can eat when we go out for a meal.  There is virtually nothing (outside of my work) about my life that Owner does not control. Now there is to be even less. We have agreed that i will now cede all control over what i may be permitted to drink when we go out to Her as well. It is another step towards Her total domination of me and a necessary one. It will ensure that i am no longer able to choose what to drink we go out to a bar or a restaurant. No longer will there be awkward moments when i ask Her whether i might be permitted a cider to drink. Instead, i will in future simply wait for Her to decide for me whether i am to have a soft or alcoholic drink and what it might be. Just as with when we go to a restaurant and order a meal Owner will decide for me when it comes to drinks from now on too. It removes another potential source of discord and disagreement and ratchets up Her control over me one notch more.

Over fourteen years we have gone from friends to a relationship where Owner is very much the one in total control and i love Her all the more for it. To submit to Her is to experience true happiness in life and i yearn for the day when Her control over me is truly absolute. Importantly, however, Owner exercises Her control lovingly and She will often consult me and seek my views. In truth She often pampers me and treats me. Hers is not a hard regimen and sometimes i end up asking Her to perhaps be a bit less lenient with me so that i might lean and develop and grow. But it is a relationship that works for us. i can honestly say that i think we are the happiest and most secure couple i know. We discuss everything and She knows everything about me.

i am truly grateful to Owner for Her continued and ever deepening domination of me and for making these past 14 years the happiest of my life. She is my world and Her control over it becomes more absolute with every passing year.

a very rare photo of my wonderful Owner

The View From The Foothills

Sometimes it is only when you look back that you see how far you have travelled. It is certainly the case that with Owner and i, and specifically with the nature of our Female-led relationship and my submission to Her, we have indeed journeyed a long way.

Anyone who has followed this little blog of ours over the years will know by now that our story began just over twelve years ago when we met each other for the first time online. We were both emerging out of divorces and looking for new friends and companions. Neither of us was looking for romance. After getting to know one another in cyberspace we met for the first time in May 2005 at Bond Street tube station and went for lunch to a pizza restaurant, we still go to that same restaurant on the same day every year. For months we were 'just friends' until one day in October that same year Owner, bored of waiting, kissed me in London's Charing Cross station. We have been together ever since.

However, at first ours was very vanilla relationship. That changed when i nervously wrote Owner a letter inviting Owner to move in with me and asking to be allowed to submit to Her and for Her to dominate me (or words to that affect). To my delight She said yes.

Those first few years we played a lot and tried many different approaches before we found an approach that worked for us as a couple whereby i could truly began to fully submit to Owner. In those same years we also started to experiment with 'forced feminisation'. Once opened that particular Pandora proved impossible to go back into its box, and i am eternally thankful to Owner that She took my 'unlocked' femininity in Her stride.

We are now in a place where i live my life in a way that i could never have dreamt would be possible all those years ago and we do so in a way that is not a game that we dip in and out of, we live this 24/7 365 days a year. Owner is not your fantasy dominant wielding a whip and wearing heels. She is most likely to be found at home in a pair of tracksuit bottoms and slippers and spending Her time reading or researching something or other whilst i try to busy myself around the flat. If there was a live webcam of us it would most likely be as thrilling as watching paint dry much of the time, we live much as i imagine many other couples do, except that Owner is 100% in charge.

So what, you might ask, does that mean? Well, in case you are reading this blog looking for ideas of how you too could submit to your better half and what such a relationship might practically consist of (as we both spent years researching ourselves online and in forums when we first set out) then here are some examples of what my submission to Owner and Her domination of me looks like on a daily basis;

• i prepare all our meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner), i bake and i try to offer Owner meal choices - incidentally Owner is a great cook and She does occasionally cook 
• i am responsible for all grocery and household shopping and for ensuring we are fully provisioned and keep a track of what needs using/replacing (i do not always get this right and am punished if and when i cock-up)
• i do all the household cleaning (i have a daily rota), clothes washing and ironing etc
• i am encouraged to learn new and practical skills and sometimes get sent on courses to learn - for examples so far courses i have completed have included massage, manicure, flower arranging, knitting etc
• the flat is decorated etc entirely according to Owners taste, we disposed of the things i once owned and i no longer have any possessions
• i may only purchase clothes that Owner approves of, must seek Her approval for what i can wear on weekdays and She chooses what i wear at weekends
• Owner controls my finances. i still have my own bank account but need Her permission to use that bank card, instead i have a separate account in which my monthly allowance of £100 is transferred - this is to cover my monthly costs (minus travel which is not included)
• i have no say in what i eat when we go out, Owner chooses my meals for me and will tell me whether or not i am permitted an alcoholic drink
• my social media access is restricted to stop me time wasting
• i am encouraged to use my free time constructively i.e. to learn new skills, practice my Spanish (Owner is Spanish) etc
• i must never under any circumstances initiate sex, my role is that of Owners sex toy to be used if and when She chooses.
• Owner and i last had 'tradional' i.e. me penetrating Her sex, over eight years ago. She can and does penetrate me and is in control of whether or not i am permitted to orgasm. i last orgasmed over 8 months ago and am regularly locked in chastity, this year i have been locked without release since the 10th January.
• i have been collared for most of our time together, i wear a metal 'public' collar all day (including at work) and at home also wear a leather collar and cuffs connected by a chain.
• Owner has supported my feminisation and i have been allowed to become increasingly feminine over the years. i now wear make-up daily (including to work) my wardrobe is entirely made-up of women's clothes and i am allowed to wear a bra, including a padded bra, on certain days
• i have a 'smock uniform' that i am expected to wear at home when cleaning, when i work from home i dress like a slightly saucy female secretary and can dress more illiberally for 'dress down Fridays' when i work from home. i am now accustomed to taking deliveries, talking to our neighbour etc wearing stockings and skirts (whether they are or not is another matter!)
• Owner makes all decisions. She decides where and when we go on holiday, what furniture we need, what we will do for the weekend etc. She does, however, expect and encourage me to provide Her with suggestions but the actual decision is Hers alone.

So, as you can see, there are many and varied ways in which i submit to Owner and She dominates me. i am Her housewife and Her sex toy. ours is not a Femdom relationship we dip in and out of, it IS our relationship and we live it everyday. Yes, there are times when things slip-up or when life gets in the way, but i would say we have got to a point where Her domination and my submission is the norm and it covers all aspects of our life together.

None of this would be possible were it not for the fact that Owner and i are best friends and love each other deeply. Her domination and my submission is built from an already strong relationship where we talk and share and communicate openly with each other. It has strong foundations from which we are building a strong Femdom/FLR frame.

So, why have i entitled this post 'The View From The Foothills'? Because, ours is a journey and we keep evolving, strengthening and deepening Owners domination of me and my submission to Her. i hope, and we strive, to keep strenghtening it further. As a professional trainer in real life Owner knows that i can sometimes get carried away and have unrealistic hopes/fantasies about what might be possible for us. Her style is gradual, to slowly, incrementally change and increase so that i normalise and get used to a new reality before the screw tightens a little further. She is an expert and highly adept at knowing how to have me sustainably submit completely to Her in a way that becomes embedded and lasts. We have, i hope many, many more years of growth and development still ahead of us, there are beautiful mountain peaks i would one day long to scale, we have come a long way but there is much fun to be had on the path ahead.

Let Her eat cake (and biscuits, soups, stews etc)

The Romans had a saying that an army marches on its stomach and for me ensuring that Owner gets to receive healthy, nutritious food is something that i take great pride in doing. When Owner and i first met it must be said that my culinary repetoire was somewhat limited. However, with Owners active encouragement my confidence in the kitchen grew and became an integral part of our Female-led/Femdom lifestyle. Owner Herself is a wonderful cook but we quickly developed a routine whereby unless i was ill or unavoidably detained at work it should be i that prepares all the meals (and of course tidies and washes up afterwards). This little routine of ours starts from the moment when we wake up. Owner has to leave the house about an hour before i do for work and so i get up with Her, prepare breakfast and then make Her lunch. Then in the evening i prepare ou evening meal when i get back.

Of late i have started to try and ensure that Owner always has an option of home-cooked savoury bread for breakfast and/or to take with Her to work as well as making homemade biscuits on a regular basis for Her too. i have to say that baking and cooking in general has opened a whole new world for me. i used to just cook to eat i.e. to fill a hole. However, now i love to experiment, try different things and have become a little obsessed with baking. There is something wonderfully satisfying about feeding someone, anyone and people the world over do, i am sure, derive joy and satisfaction on a regular basis from cooking for family and friends. However, to me cooking and baking are also a further expression of my love and adoration for Owner. i obviously like to eat what i prepare too but there is nothing like the satisfaction derived from seeing Owner tuck in and enjoy. It's almost like sex (i did say almost!) in that for me the most wonderful part is the giving and not the receiving of pleasure and cooking is the same.

When i first started this blog many moons ago i wrote at the time that my ambition in life was to become a housewife for Owner and spending my evenings or parts of the weekend kneading my dough or stirring a soup is something i adore to do. Sadly i still have to go to work so the housewife ambition remains, for the foreseeable future, an unrealised one. However, there are still plenty of moments in any day when i can 'live my dream' and potter about cleaning or tidying whilst the aroma of freshly baked/prepared food wafts through the flat.

Why am i writing all of the above? i guess because to me being in a relationship that is a Female-led or Femdom one presents so many opportunities to serve and cooking is one wonderful way to do just that.

A Day In The Life....

When Owner first moved in with me, almost two years ago now, we quickly both realised that neither of us wanted a 'normal' relationship with a little BDSM thrown-in. Rather, what we wanted to strive towards was a Female-led relationship. Around that time i spent a fair amount of time researching blogs, websites and books on the subject to try and establish some sense of how such a Female-led relationship might practicably work. Of course, i was, as i now realise, going about this entirely the wrong way! The essence of the relationship that would work for us would be decided and developed by Owner What i should have been doing was to really think through the things that Owner did as part of Her own routine and activities and try to see how i could take on some of these duties and activities for Her, to give Her more time to relax. In short, i'd overlooked the essential element of any Female-led relationship - namely it's not what others do or the fantasies i, as a submissive, may have, but is about what my Owner would like and how i might make Her life more comfortable. Owner does indulge me by playing with and torturing me, but this is when She wants to.

Anyway, i digress. As i was saying i realised that i had gone about things the wrong way. However, reading about how other such couples in Female-led relationships structured their lives and the routines they had developed was still extremely helpful. It gave me some ideas of things that might please Owner if i incorporated them into my daily schedule as well as a sense of what to strive towards. The following, therefore, is really written with the thought of me as i was two years ago in mind. It is my daily routine and i write it in the hope that it may be of some use/interest to another newby sub just starting their own Female-led relationship in sparking some ideas or thoughts about ways they too could serve their own Dominant Female. However, before i go on to outline my routine i should say from the outset that this is merely what works for us, others will and should develop their own routines that best suit their own relationships. i should also say that i am conscious that i still have an awful lot of training and development ahead of me (a lifetimes worth) if i am ever to hope to begin to serve my Owner in the manner in which She truly deserves. But this is where i am now in my development. Hopefully in my next 6 monthly appraisal and contract review (due imminently) Owner will grant me some additional duties and activities to further develop my training.

Anyway, enough waffling! The following is my daily (weekday) routine, which as i said earlier, i hope might be of some use/interest to other males or their Female Dommes just starting out to develop their own Female-led relationship.

06.00: Wake up - put on collar and cuffs and skimpy dressing-gown
06.05-06.30: Prepare Owners breakfast and my own. All my own meals are eaten from a dog bowl - though normally i am allowed to eat at the table. Wash-up dishes and put away.
06.30-06.35: Put out food on bird table (my neighbours must certainly chuckle if they see me - shackled and dressed in a skimpy dressing gown and heels wandering around the garden at this time of day!) + feed goldfish in aquariums
06.35-07.15: Put Owners mobile onto charge. Prepare Owners packed lunch for work then my own. Make bed and clean toilet and bathroom sink when Owner has finished in bathroom. Ensure Owner has a book to read for Her journey to work.
07.15: Kiss Owner goodbye.
07.15-08.30: Text owner to advise what knickers i will be wearing that day under my work clothes and receive any instructions i may have from Her. Think about what to make for dinner in evening and ensure we have the ingredients. Log onto internet and check emails etc. Have shower, shave and get dressed. Do some hoovering or other light cleaning. Check flat looks relatively tidy and things are put away. Update submission diary and journal.
08.30ish: Remove collar and cuffs and depart for work
Lunchtime: Get any shopping we may need
18.30ish: Return from work. Greet Owner by kneeling before Her and kissing her feet. Make Owner a cup of tea.
18.45ish: Put on make-up and feminine clothes to look pretty for Owner. Put collar and cuffs back on.
19.00 - 19.45: Start preparing dinner, my own served as usual in a dog bowl. Chat to Owner then wash-up and put dishes away.
19.45-21.30: Do some cleaning in the flat, prepare any stocks etc that we may need for forthcoming meals, do some clothes washing if needed. Be at Owners disposal if required. Supervised removal of chastity device for cleaning if needed etc.
21.30-22.00: Lick/suck Owners feet clean and give Owner a foot massage.
22.00: Snuggle up together in bed.

Weekends are similar except that neither of us need to work, i get to dress en femme all day (at home and outside) and wear nail polish and we have time to do the things we both enjoy. Others little things that i try to ensure i now always do/offer are to get fresh flowers for the flat on a weekly basis and give Owner a weekly pedicure.

Whether or not any of the above is of interest/use to anyone else i don't know. i just know that it was just this sort of information/ideas i was searching for two years ago when we first started out on our Female-led relationship and so hope it may be of some interest to someone?