All Is Good

Owner is back home, i am locked back in chastity, doing my chores and serving and submitting to Her. What more could one possibly hope for out of life?

Honestly, it is so wonderful to be back and feeling my true self again without drowning under work noise in my head. The noise is still there but it has been put back in its box where it will, i hope remain for the rest of the year. Most times i am able to separate work from life, not let the former take over the latter. However, these past few months have been hard. The box refused to stay shut and the genie escaped.

i truly hate when that happens. i spiral, lose focus and the worst traits of my character bubble up once again. A fog of laziness envelops me outside of work. My focus on my submission and service slides. It is not fair on Owner and nor is it how i want to be or live my life either. It took me a while to discover this but i absolutely, genuinely am at my happiest and most content when being with, serving and submitting to my wonderful Owner.

What also helps. No, more than that. What i find REALLY helpful in ensuring that i keep my focus, is chastity. i know one should never rely on a crutch but in all of the near 20 years that i have been in and out of chastity i have become convinced that i am happier and perform better when i am locked than when i am unlocked.

This, however, is not a great state of affairs as Owner really does like having me unlocked at times so that She can touch, tease and torment my little clit, whereas i prefer it to be locked away. i know i need to learn to maintain my level of submission and service when it is unlocked and i know that Owner has every right to decide whether i am locked or not and to keep me unlocked for Her entertainment. i should be able to maintain my service and submissive state whether locked or unlocked but i truly do struggle to. Whether it is pscychological or physical i do not know but there is something about not being able to see or touch my clit that helps keep the pandora's box in my brain firmly locked, subsumed beneath a warm happy sea of sissy, submissive thoughts, cravings and desires.

Anyway, the good news is that i am locked in my new chastity device and it is, i think, quite an appropriate one. It has a little 'pussy' pee-hole and has the words 'sissy' engraved across its pink carcass. In short, it feels very 'me'. Of all the devices i have had to date Owner and i still prefer the aesthetics and profile of the previous flat, pink 'honeycomb' one, but the cage split on within months. Hopefully, this new pink 'pussy' cage will prove longer-lasting. We shall see.

Upon Her return from Spain on Saturday night Owner also presented me with a beautiful new ring She had bought for me. i really love it. What do readers think (it is the lower of the two shown below)?

Talking of fingers, i also painted my finger nails in preparation for collecting Owner from the airport and have kept them painted the same since. i am still waiting for someone at work to comment on my pink and sparkly nails!

More importantly though, i am back to my routines and feeling so, so much happier in myself as a result. Service, sissiness and submission are hard-wired into my DNA but sometimes the bad genie escapes its box and plays havoc with my life, spoiling things for Owner but also for me. Chastity definitely helps me to put that disruptive creature firmly back in its place as too does a focus on my chores and routines together with the care, guidance and discipline of my Owner.

Having me under Her control makes Her happy and makes my little heart sing.

p.s. - further update. We had some issues waiting on the delivery of the above chastity device with the post delivery people saying we were not in when we were and then the delivery being delayed well over a ten days as the item got temporarily mislaid. Well, at one point i gave up on it ever arriving and so another device was also ordered. That one arrived today. This one is a flat open cage design and is black. This is what it looks like on me:

Although not pink, Owner and i actually prefer this one as it is much less visible under clothing. It holds my clit flat with just the bulge of the lock mechanism protruding (side note - i with more attention was paid to that when folks are designing chastity cages - please minimise!) . The open cage design means that it is going to be easier to clean. 

Owner has now instructed me to wear this one rather than the pink pussy cage.

For both of us my perfect cage remains the beehive one. We both agreed it gave me a lovely flat profile and was aesthetically very pleasing on the eye. However, the 'beehive' cage proved not robust enough and kept splitting. The same design albeit with a more robust cage build would be the ideal device for me.

The good news though is that i am back caged and now have a few different devices to wear should Owner ever want to have me in some different 'looks'.