Reflections On Japan And Looking Ahead

Owner and i have just about physically recovered from our trip back from Japan. The flight home lasted 14 hours and routed us out over the Pacific, then Alaska, Canada, Greenland and finally down back to the UK. Our sleep patterns were shot, making for an extremely groggy return back to work and domestic service reality. i also had an event in Glasgow, Scotland that required another flight there and back on Thursday. We are both embracing the respite of the weekend.

However, getting back to Japan. What an amazing country and culture. From the full-on, neon heaving chaos of downtown Tokyo to the sublime foothills of Mount Fuji or the structured grid and underground city of Sapporo to the sleeping giants, spitting mud pools and coastal majesty of Hokkaido, the wooden buildings of Kyoto or the nodding deer of Nara, vertiginous gardens of Kobe and castles of Nagoya and Osaka - what a place. The land and cityscapes are truly epic and extraordinary. We had an amazing time.

Then of course there were the accessories and the clothes. Oh. My. God. i was in gurl heaven. Every shop, and i mean every shop, contains a range of super-cute and adorable, must buy, hyper-girly accessories. i was so lucky, Owner permitted me to buy some to accessorise my little day pack. These are the cute accessories i was permitted to adorn my bag with and which now follow me around back home

They are divine - i love them.

Best of all though were the outfits. Little skirts a go go, hyper cute knee high stockings, the most AMAZING chunky shoes, bags, bags, bags, cute tops and blouses, clips and bows. It was full sissy heaven. Once again i was such a lucky sissy gurl. Owner permitted me to buy the most adorable frilly skirt, replete with bow accessory. i cannot wait to show it off in public. i will keep readers in suspense but rest assured, you will get to see it soon.

Then of course there was the kimono outfit. Owner sourced and then bought the kimono, the obi, the waist rope and traditional sandals. We had the best time doing the indoor but then especially the outdoor photo shoot in it. Thank you for all of your lovely compliments. Here are some more shots of me in a lakeside park in Hokkaido enjoying the cherry blossoms

i am so grateful to Owner for gifting me such a wonderful experience.

One of the regular readers of this blog and all round lovely person, hs left me a wonderful comment in which he wrote:

"You look fabulous and so feminine in your Kimono and with that beautiful umbrella....in many, but not all ways, your lifestyle and relationship with your owner emulates the "traditional" role of a "good wife" in Japan.....I imagine you might feel quite at home in Japan" blog comment by hs.

It was hs's point about the 'traditional role' and the 'good wife' that really resonated with me, he knows me too well! i love being Owner's housewife and so the idea of being at home, subservient and demure, focusing on housework and home crafts, being at Owners side when She wants me to be, being beaten or fucked by Her when She wants that. All of this is what i aspire to and is, to an extent, how we live our lives.

However, that is not the full picture. i am also a slut and an exhibitionist. i love to wear and be seen in the shortest of skirts - so short my panties are visible and my stocking tops on full show. i love to show my bra and breasts. i adore being groped and fondled in public. Owner regards me as, not just Her wife but also Her slut and expects me to behave as one, something i strive to get better at.

Two things we witnessed in Japan, both quite troubling in many respects but which appeal to a sissy slut like me, resonated with this slut side of me. 

First was the maid cafe culture. These are establishments where young women in stunning manga maid outfits serve and chat to men of all ages. Akihabara Electric Town in Tokyo is the epicentre. It is a district that in all bar one respect made me feel uncomfortable. It is dominated by manga and electronic stores, porn shops and maid cafes. That was not what made me uncomfortable. It was the fact that it is such a male environment. i would guess about 80% of those walking around it at any time are men of all ages. Male-dominated environments make me uneasy. i much prefer female spaces - unlike Owner who loves the boys. The one inspiring exception in Electric Town, however, were the maid girls that lined the street aiming to attract men into their cafe and who knows what else. They looked amazing dressed up in their cute little maid outfits. How i would love to have joined them dressed up and hustling for 'business' on the street.

The other thing you will see on the subway and some trains in Japanese cities are 'women-only' carriages, a response to the continued scourge of unwanted sexual attention, touching and groping that some women experience amidst the packed anonymity of rush-hour travel. The slut in me loves the idea of travelling these rides during the morning or evening rush dressed in a little micro skirt and low cut top. Of course, however, not for me the safety of the women only carriages. i would beeline straight for the busiest carriage, the one stuffed full of bored, frustrated businessmen and abandon myself to my fate, aching to be groped, fondled and abused whilst sandwiched amidst a sea of testosterone.

That dichotomy that you see on full display in Japan. The servility, politeness and submission, the hyper-sexualised maid girl culture and continued need to keep women safe from unwanted male attention. Both really appeal to my Jekyll and Hyde nature, part-good housewife, part whore.

As for Owner. There were plenty of cute young men and boys for Her to admire and lust over. We both had fun watching and observing people and i agree with Her that Japanese men can look quite beautiful. However, all kept their distance. Her fantasy of a cute toyboy remains unfulfilled, for now at least.

So that was Japan. We are already talking about when, not if, we might go back.

Now we are back home i am trying to return back to normal. Just before we departed i completed and passed my Spanish level training and have now moved to the next level. 

i returned to chastity as soon as we got home and remained locked for my flight to Glasgow earlier this week. i hadn't intended to. Owner had given me the key to unlock and re-lock myself but i clean forgot to do so, only remembering as i was putting my bag onto the belt as i was passing through security. By then it was too late to remove my metal cage, i was stood mere feet from the body scanner. i gingerly stepped through but, to my complete surprise, nothing happened. i picked up my bag and headed to the lounge area. My metal cage had not triggered anything. i messaged Owner about the mistake i had made and the fact that there had been no consequences. i resolved to walk through the scanner with cage on on my return flight to see if this had just been a fluke or if the scanner really did not register the chunky metal cage between my legs?

Surprise, surprise i triggered the body scanner in Glasgow as i went to catch my return flight. As i stood legs parted and hands held out at my sides i could see on the monitor that all of my body was showing green, all part from my crutch which was glowing red on the scanner operators console. i steeled myself to having to explain that i had a metal chastity device on, i had already resolved to be fully honest if i did get stopped. It's not illegal to wear a chastity device after all. However, all that happened was the security officer padded down my pockets and then waved me on. So, perhaps it is fine for me to remain locked up in my metal cage whilst flying after all? That will be for Owner to decide.

My life of domestic service is also starting to return back to normal. i did miss my chores and i am happy to return to them. This was me cleaning earlier in the week as seen by Owner via the surveillance camera 

 

i also missed being beaten, i even missed being electrocuted. A statement i am sure i will come to quickly regret setting down for Owner to read (She edits and pre-screens all blog posts before they are published).

 

i also returned home to another treat. Before we left for Japan Owner ordered a special pair of trousers for me, trousers most appropriate for an exhibitionist slut like myself. The trousers are made of white lace and are fully transparent. Here i was trying them on when we got back - excuse the slippers, dressing gown and label!

i really, really can't wait to go out in them :)

Returning to the subject of housework, Owner has rightly pointed out the need for me to do a complete Spring clean of Her flat, which will keep me busy. She will also be going to Spain for a week in June before i fly out to join Her the following week. Whilst it goes without saying that i will miss Her terribly it will also provide an opportunity for me to be kept busy outside of work with household chores whilst She is away. Owner can monitor me remotely whilst She is away via the surveillance camera.

Owner will also be sharing with me Her plans for Her future retirement and Her expectations of me in terms of my own work. Both of us would like for me to have more time spent at home, where i belong, or spent accompanying Owner on little adventures. i would love to be able to drop to working four days a week to free up a day to focus on housework and other chores or practice my domestic skills so that i might become more useful to Owner. My lifetime goal is to one day be regarded by Owner as a suitable candidate to become Her slave. Obviously, this will not be practical whilst i still need to work but reducing the day or days that i work could present an opportunity to begin to prepare and improve myself and demonstrate my utility and potential as Her future slave. We shall see.

Anyway, sorry for the long post. i hope readers are well?

An Unscheduled Interruption and Future Plans

The past few days have found yours truly in bed, not feeling great and being waited on and looked after by my wonderfully attentive and caring Owner.

i hate times such as these. Firstly, i feel guilty about all of the work Owner ends up having to do, the cooking and washing and keeping the flat looking respectable, tasks that naturally would normally always fall to me and which She ends up having to temporarily take on whilst i am sick. Secondly, i realise how much i actually miss being able to look after and serve Her. i miss doing my chores and the housework, miss the little rituals and routines that mark the passage of the day and the week and which serve to demonstrate my subservience to Her. i miss being caged and beaten by Her i even miss the prospect of having my caged clit electrocuted.

First thing in the morning and again after work in the evening you will normally always find me busy doing my daily chores and housework and preparing meals etc for Owner. i love being Her housewife and being kept busy and occupied in service to Her and helping Her run Her household. To me it is a daily way of both expressing my love for Her as well as demonstrating my subservience to Her.

In recent years i have come to resent the fact i still have to do my paid work when in truth i would be happier spending all day doing housework and completing tasks and errands for Owner. i love catching glimpses of Her in the lounge with Her feet up reading or watching TV or doing whatever takes Her fancy whilst i dust, lay the table or put the laundry away. Owner will occasionally say out loud that She worries i am working too hard when in truth the opposite is the case. i would love to work harder, have more time to devote to looking after Her and Her home.

Occasions like this, therefore, that find me ill in bed are especially frustrating. i want nothing more than to be up and about being Her busy little housewife. Spending my time constructively in service to my Owner.

It is possible that my wish to have more time to spend in domestic service to Owner may come true next year. Owner has, for a longtime, bemoaned the fact that She still has to work. Like me She also works five days a week. However, whereas i have always derived quite a bit of satisfaction from my job for Her it is very much a case of working for the money. She excels at what She does and in the whole time we have been together She has always earnt more than i do. However, neither i nor Her want Her to have to work any longer than is necessary, especially as doing so creates a lot of stress for Her.

A few months ago Owner decided that enough is enough and that She needs to come up with a full or partial retirement plan for Herself. 

In an ideal work She would stop work completely and just live off my salary, which goes directly to Her anyway (i just get a small monthly allowance). However, that might not prove sufficient. Owner would also like me to work less, as well as Her, so that we can spend some more time together. Doing so would also enable me to take on more housework, or have more time to ensure that things that currently only get occasionally cleaned, say like the windows, could instead be cleaned on say a weekly basis. More time would also mean that Owner could perhaps bring me to Her flat in Spain more often than is currently possible.

My ideal would be an arrangement whereby i had an extra day or two a week in which i did not need to work and could instead focus my attention on becoming a better housewife, travel companion, slut and muse for Owner. i know She would love to go to Spain more often than She does to see Her family and friends and i would love to be able to accompany Her on more frequent visits and be installed in Her flat as Her domestic servant and whore. We shall see.

In the meantime, i leave you with a picture from Sunday evening when i was well and when Owner tried out the new whip i bought Her as part of my anniversary present to Her. The way the coloured tails of the whip are arranged it almost looks as if it is some kind of minimalist skirt :)

Owners new whip with its 7 multi-coloured leather tails

All Is Good

Owner is back home, i am locked back in chastity, doing my chores and serving and submitting to Her. What more could one possibly hope for out of life?

Honestly, it is so wonderful to be back and feeling my true self again without drowning under work noise in my head. The noise is still there but it has been put back in its box where it will, i hope remain for the rest of the year. Most times i am able to separate work from life, not let the former take over the latter. However, these past few months have been hard. The box refused to stay shut and the genie escaped.

i truly hate when that happens. i spiral, lose focus and the worst traits of my character bubble up once again. A fog of laziness envelops me outside of work. My focus on my submission and service slides. It is not fair on Owner and nor is it how i want to be or live my life either. It took me a while to discover this but i absolutely, genuinely am at my happiest and most content when being with, serving and submitting to my wonderful Owner.

What also helps. No, more than that. What i find REALLY helpful in ensuring that i keep my focus, is chastity. i know one should never rely on a crutch but in all of the near 20 years that i have been in and out of chastity i have become convinced that i am happier and perform better when i am locked than when i am unlocked.

This, however, is not a great state of affairs as Owner really does like having me unlocked at times so that She can touch, tease and torment my little clit, whereas i prefer it to be locked away. i know i need to learn to maintain my level of submission and service when it is unlocked and i know that Owner has every right to decide whether i am locked or not and to keep me unlocked for Her entertainment. i should be able to maintain my service and submissive state whether locked or unlocked but i truly do struggle to. Whether it is pscychological or physical i do not know but there is something about not being able to see or touch my clit that helps keep the pandora's box in my brain firmly locked, subsumed beneath a warm happy sea of sissy, submissive thoughts, cravings and desires.

Anyway, the good news is that i am locked in my new chastity device and it is, i think, quite an appropriate one. It has a little 'pussy' pee-hole and has the words 'sissy' engraved across its pink carcass. In short, it feels very 'me'. Of all the devices i have had to date Owner and i still prefer the aesthetics and profile of the previous flat, pink 'honeycomb' one, but the cage split on within months. Hopefully, this new pink 'pussy' cage will prove longer-lasting. We shall see.

Upon Her return from Spain on Saturday night Owner also presented me with a beautiful new ring She had bought for me. i really love it. What do readers think (it is the lower of the two shown below)?

Talking of fingers, i also painted my finger nails in preparation for collecting Owner from the airport and have kept them painted the same since. i am still waiting for someone at work to comment on my pink and sparkly nails!

More importantly though, i am back to my routines and feeling so, so much happier in myself as a result. Service, sissiness and submission are hard-wired into my DNA but sometimes the bad genie escapes its box and plays havoc with my life, spoiling things for Owner but also for me. Chastity definitely helps me to put that disruptive creature firmly back in its place as too does a focus on my chores and routines together with the care, guidance and discipline of my Owner.

Having me under Her control makes Her happy and makes my little heart sing.

p.s. - further update. We had some issues waiting on the delivery of the above chastity device with the post delivery people saying we were not in when we were and then the delivery being delayed well over a ten days as the item got temporarily mislaid. Well, at one point i gave up on it ever arriving and so another device was also ordered. That one arrived today. This one is a flat open cage design and is black. This is what it looks like on me:

Although not pink, Owner and i actually prefer this one as it is much less visible under clothing. It holds my clit flat with just the bulge of the lock mechanism protruding (side note - i with more attention was paid to that when folks are designing chastity cages - please minimise!) . The open cage design means that it is going to be easier to clean. 

Owner has now instructed me to wear this one rather than the pink pussy cage.

For both of us my perfect cage remains the beehive one. We both agreed it gave me a lovely flat profile and was aesthetically very pleasing on the eye. However, the 'beehive' cage proved not robust enough and kept splitting. The same design albeit with a more robust cage build would be the ideal device for me.

The good news though is that i am back caged and now have a few different devices to wear should Owner ever want to have me in some different 'looks'.

Juggling Time and Space plus Slut Moves

Readers may recall that Owner and I purchased a second flat about 15 months ago. This second property is in Owners home town in Spain and provides us with somewhere to stay when we are visiting. It is also somewhere Owner can work from whenever She chooses whilst also being close to Her family and friends.

Owners expectation (rightly) of me, and my own desire, is that I should provide and maintain the same level of submission to and service for Her at each of Her properties. In fact, Owner should expect me, as Her submissive wife to serve and submit to Her at all times, irrespective of location.

Owner also expects, again rightly, that my place should always be at home, unless I have been invited to accompany Her or am running an errand for Her. This is also something I want as well, namely to be expected to always be at home with Her or waiting for Her, and allowed out only when accompanied by Her or to run an errand for Her.

These mutual desires and expectations work well for the most part, with one big exception. Work. My job does not allow me to work from abroad whereas Owners does. My job also requires that i sometimes attend external meetings or present at conferences/events. The latter i try to minimise. I will also only attend something for work that necessitates me being away from Owner overnight if She permits it.  If She does not i will not do it. Only in certain very restricted circumstances e.g.if i am visiting my elderly father who lives some distance away should Owner find Herself without Her submissive wife at home.

This usually works well. i have grown accustomed to being at home by Owners side or waiting at home for Her return. My work also now knows not to expect me to attend something that necessitates an overnight stay. Gone too are the days when i might attend after work socials if i am in the office. Now i choose to return straight home and am happier and healthier as a result. In short, and even a little to my own surprise, i love being as much of a stay-at-home wife as i can possibly be.

This may sound extreme, my younger-self definitely would have thought so, but it is how we both like and want to live our lives. Owner expects me to be with Her always or, if She is out without me, expects that i am at home waiting for Her. When She goes out and socialises with Her friends i remain at home, venturing out only to come and meet Her and carry Her bag as i accompany Her home from the station or go on somewhere else with Her. For my part i love the fact that, work aside, i can only go out with Owners permission and then only to run errands for Her or to visit family.

Work, however, can still complicate matters.

Just under a fortnight ago Owner travelled out to stay and work from Her flat in Spain and to catch-up with family and friends. Her plan was to work for a week then spend another week out there on holiday. By rights She ought to be able to expect me to accompany Her. However, i was only able to join Her for part of the time as i am not permitted to work from abroad and did not have the days to take as leave. Worse still, i had a conference mid-way through Owners second week away that i needed to present at in London. At the time i agreed to do it i had thought nothing of it as was in London and would not necessitate an overnight stay and Owner did not, at that stage, have any plans to travel to Spain. When She booked and i realised i had a diary clash i mistakenly felt obliged to still cover the event as i had previously had to pull out of another, run by the same people, at short notice due to ill health. i felt i could not let them down twice.

So it was that Owner found Herself without me by Her side in Her flat in Spain for just under a week before i flew out to join Her for a few days, only for me to then have to return ahead of Her (She returns today, Saturday) to present at this conference. We both really missed each other during this period apart from one another although i at least got to spend a few days with Her out there.

Whilst we were separated the first week i kept getting lovely but painful to read messages from Owner saying, not just that She missed me but also how horrible it was that She was now left having to do things in Her flat, things that by rights She ought to be able to simply expect me to do, like cleaning. i did try to make amends by doing my chores whilst out there but i felt really bad knowing that Owner did not have me there with Her to start with and so was needing to spend time doing things that rightfully She ought to not have to do. She ought to be able to always depend on Her stay-at-home submissive wife to do them for Her.

i perhaps make it sound like we didn’t also go out and have fun together, we absolutely did. We took a day trip up the coast, we attended the midnight bonfire and fireworks on the beach to mark the shortest night, we had a boozy night out with Her sister and Her sisters partner and we hosted and entertained Her family and their respective partners.

Incidentally, one thing i have come to love about time in the flat out in Spain is the fact that it is easy for Owner to invite all Her family over and the opportunity that provides me with to try to demonstrate my domestic service training. Owner and i don’t really entertain in London so i don’t really have an opportunity to display my ‘service’ to others. In Spain i do, even if discretely. My hope is that Owners family all think that She has me well-trained and under Her control😊.

My time in Spain was, however, regrettably short as I had to return to the UK for this damned conference. My leaving early, though known about in advance, still upset and annoyed Owner. In hindsight, i was wrong to have put my attendance at this event ahead of staying at Her side and She was right to be disappointed in me. At the time i said yes to the conference i did not know about the Spain trip and did not think to discuss my attendance with Owner as the event was in London so no overnight stay was needed. However, in the intervening time Owner organised to go to Spain and i should, i now realise, have adjusted accordingly. Her needs and expectations should always come first and, on this occasion, i failed Her.  Now Owner has two homes i need to adjust my thinking and my mindset, plan ahead but also be adaptable so that She can be confident that i will be with Her/in Her flat looking after it and Her whether She be in London or Spain. Neither of us would want for this to happen again.

The sooner we can both retire the better. Then there will really be no need or excuse, bar occasional family visits, for me to be anywhere other than:

• At home in whichever of Owners flats, be that London or Spain, She is using at the time
• Accompanying Owner outside when invited to join Her
•  Undertaking a solo errand or task for Owner

When i am alone at home i always contact Owner and tell Her what clothes i propose to wear that day and seek Her permission to do so before then getting dressed. We did try having Her choose my outfits for me in advance but it became quite tiresome for Owner to have to think about so we agreed i can choose but then must seek Her approval before wearing.

Yesterday was just such a day. It also being a Friday it was also one of my more ‘dress-down’ for work days. Accordingly, as we exchanged morning wishes on whatsapp, me in London and Owner in Spain, i sought Her permission to wear this outfit, namely my red bra, pattered white blouse and my wrap tartan skirt. As i am demonstrating it was worn without knickers

By the way, as you can see i am back (finally) into chastity. Owner agreed i perform better and have a better (submissive) mindset when i am locked, even though She enjoys the opportunity to ‘tease’ me when I am unlocked. i am back in an old device of mine pending the arrival of a new one – we have tried a few different ones lately with no real success.

But, back to yesterday. My, i think, suitably slutty outfit led to two memorable moments during the day. The first happened on a work Teams call when i suddenly saw on the screen that as i was leaning forwards over my laptop my blouse was ‘gaping open’ a bit and my bright red bra strap and part of the bra cup was clearly visible. For a second i thought about hastily trying to cover myself but realised that it must have been visible for a good few minutes and any sudden move to cover would only serve to further draw my colleagues attention to it. So instead I thought ‘fuck it’ and continued the meeting, bra partially in view. Slut move number 1.

Then later in the day the grocery delivery arrived. i knew this was coming as i had booked it the previous day. Anyway, i pranced downstairs to our front door to take delivery dressed as above (albeit with skirt covering chastity cage but still sans panties). The driver was a short, middle-aged, balding man whose eyes popped out in surprise when he saw what i was wearing. Honestly, he gave me a full, slow look his eyes slowly moving up from my bare legs, the hem of my skirt to my navel and then to my bust. It is the most blatantly and salaciously i have ever been stared at by a stranger. i possibly made it worst for him as well each time i bent down to pick up the groceries and carry them inside. Poor chap 😊. Little did he know (i was facing him as i bent down) that were I bent over a bed i would have looked like this

pussy open and ready, as always!

Slut move number 2.

Now, where did that aubergine go? 😊