The Show Must Go On

Whilst we all adjust to life under lockdown Owner is determined to make the most of the situation. In addition to ensuring that i make full use of the time to undertake some spring cleaning - yesterday it was windows and the front door - whilst also completing twice daily workouts and other tasks and activities on request, She has also set-up some fun activities.

Owner has introduced a new weekly activity we have nicknamed the 'coronashoot'. She has created a little portfolio of photoshoot suggestions that can be done at home. i have to pick a card each week from Her portfolio of ideas lucky dip. My selection determines what the photoshoot will be. This weekend was the first such shoot. The card i drew out from bag of ideas was Love Goddess.

Owners' bag of photoshoot ideas and the frst card i picked

Below is a selection of images taken and a video montage of some of the resultant photos that Owner took. i will get to choose the next card later today for a photoshoot to be done next weekend.

poppet 'Love Goddess'..ha, ha

Have fun and stay safe everyone

Unexpected Release

Who would have thought that whilst everybody is under lock-down that i should find myself suddenly and unexpectedly released? Well that is what happened to me yesterday.

The night before last i had a supervised shower before going to bed. i have these on a weekly basis when in chastity, they are an opportunity to remove my chastity device under Owners' supervision in order to give it and my clit a thorough scrub, clean and shave. The device is then locked back on.

This time, however, Owner said She wanted me to stay unlocked overnight. She does sometimes request this and so i thought nothing of it. We then went to bed as usual. i was soon fast asleep curled up next to Her. Early the next morning, well before our alarm went off and with the bedroom still cloaked in darkness, i was awoken from my slumber by the sensation of Owners fingers caressing and scratching my clit under my silk nightdress.

i was still half-asleep but woozily rolled over and parted my legs to give Her easier access. i was expecting that She wanted to maybe tease me for a bit before having me pleasure Her. She sometimes does this, leaving me frustrated and horny but denied.  i imagined that She might tease me for a bit and then stop.  However this time was to be different.

Owner raked Her nails across the soft flesh of my clit it which in turn started to respond. She then moved to stroking my clit, not hard but enough to make it start to grow a little. In what felt like a matter of seconds the sensation quickly went from pleasant arousal to a realisation that i was quite close to coming. My clit was still not fully hard, perhaps a product of having been kept in denial for well over a year, much of that time spent in chastity. But it was now close to orgasm. i was still half-drowsy but realised that i was fast approaching the point of no return. Half in panic i asked Owner if i had permission to cum? Her words were words i have not heard for such a long time.

'Yes, cum like a slut' She whispered, continuing to lightly caress my still semi-hard clit. And that was it. i moaned and groaned loudly as i orgasmed copiously, saturating my nightie in what felt like an ocean of cum that drenched the whole of the right side of my body. Owner scooped some of my mess up with Her fingers and fed it to me, it was so nice to taste semen again!

After getting up and preparing our breakfast i showered and went back into my own personal lockdown once again. i feel a mixture of emotions at having now had an orgasm after so long going without one. i am grateful to Owner for granting it to me. i wonder when or if i might be permitted another one?

Cook, Clean, Bake, Work, Get Caned and Fucked - Repeat

First and foremost i hope that this post finds you and your families well and taking care to protect yourselves, loved ones and their fellow citizens from Covid-19. It is an understatement to say that we are living through difficult times and my and Owners' heart goes out to you all. The news from Italy is especially grim and in Spain it is getting worse by the day. We know the UK is not far behind and the USA too.

But life does and must go on. Owner and i have adjusted our routines. We are now both working exclusively from home, we're avoiding going out except to go to get food and we're both now exercising daily at home together (it would be deeply ironic were we to actually emerge from this period fitter than we went into it).

And, of course, it means that there is plenty of opportunity to cook, clean, bake and be caned and fucked and Owner has been making full use of the opportunities. There has also been time to watch movies together curled up on the sofa with a bowl of fresh warm popcorn and and catch-up on some of our favourite programmes.

Last night we sat down to watch another episode of 'Naked Attraction' a dating show in which the contestants all start or end-up completely naked. Unsurprisingly, we both end discussing the myriad varieties of cocks on display. There are small ones, enormous ones, pierced and non-pierced ones, hairy and shaved ones. i think you can probably guess which ones catch my eye. Last night was no exception. However, there have (so far) been no 'clitties' in chastity on the show. Owner pointed this out to me this morning whilst She was caning my chastised cock. She teased me and said that maybe i should enter and how much i would love to be on national TV completely naked with my clit locked up. She was joking (i think!) but i confess that the idea of being naked and in chastity infront of strangers both terrifies and thrills me.

As i said Owner mentioned this whilst She was caning my clit this morning. She had already had put her fragrant knickers over my head so i could inhale Her scent and clamped my nipples. Owner then alternated between spanking and caning my baskside and testicles, striking me harder and harder and encouraging me to moan like a whore. When She felt i was properly 'warmed-up' She flipped me over, straddled my face and had me tongue fuck Her anus whilst She brought Herself to orgasm with Her vibrator. When done She gagged me with my new ball gag (see below) and then had me prepare my 'pussy' for Her by lubing, stretching and opening it with my fingers before She fucked me with Her strapon dildo. As She did She again pleasured Herself to orgasm with Her vibrator. i was left very horny, slippery and highly aroused, but still denied. i truly have become Her sextoy. It's now 455 days since i last had an orgasm, i suspect i might never have another one again.

i mentioned above that Owner gagged me before She fucked me. She used the lovely new ball gag from Godemiche which arrived a week or so ago. This is what it looks like 'in situ' on me, as you can see it is nice and sparkly!

i suspect i may be spending quite a bit of time gagged

Owner has also mentioned that She wants me to do a few photoshoots at home whilst we are confined to our flat thanks to Covid-19. i love doing these and look forward to seeing what sorts of photoshoots Owner has in mind. In the meantime, i leave you with a random selection of pictures of me keeping busy at home.

'labia' clamped for whilst i am cooking

titties clamped whilst dusting

Add caption

plugged

Stay safe everyone

'Panic' Buying and Lockdown

Today is the day of my monthly outdoor dice challenge and this time it took me to one of our local supermarkets for a bit of a wander around the fast emptying shopping ailes in the gorgeous high heels Owner bought me for my birthday. With Coronavirus ravaging the continent and fast spreading in the UK supermarkets have been in the news quite a bit of late with reports of shoppers panic buying essentials. So it felt quite weirdly appropriate that when, under Owners' supervision, i rolled the outdoor challenge dice late yesterday the first dice, stipulating the location of the challenge, landed on 'supermarket'. The next question was what would i have to wear? The second dice swiftly answered that, i was to wear trousers and high heels.

As today is a working day i suggested to Owner that i wear a pair of my women's suit trousers matched with a blouse and my bright red slut heels to complete my challenge. Owner approved of my choice. i elected not to wear stockings so that i might show off my brightly painted toenails and my ankle tattoo.

It is about a 10 minute walk to the supermarket from where we live. Owner instructed that i was to be careful not to fall over whilst getting there and to only change into my heels when i was close to the supermarket. So this is what i did. The supermarket is on one of the main roads into London but there is a new housing development near it that has just been built which provided an opportunity to scoot into a side alley and change into my heels before setting off. i teetered rather carefully on my platform heels across the busy main road and into the store.

The store was busy with shoppers and many of the shelves were completely empty of stock as people have been stocking up on supplies in an expectation that the UK will follow Italy and Spain and elsewhere in Europe that is going into lockdown. Nevertheless, i was able to find some essentials to purchase, pose for a few selfies (see below) then join the queue and pay for my purchases, leave the store and head back home. i elected to walk part of the way back in my heels before changing out of them about halfway back. Before i did i got shouted at by a van driver who leaned out of his cab to film me on his phone as i teetered along with my shopping. i have no idea what he was saying, i had my earphones in listening to music, other than he appeared to be desribing me as 'sister' - he was behind me at that point, i think from the front it's very obvious that i am not a girl!

Anyway, it was slightly nerve-wracking but great fun to do the challenge and Owner expressed Her satisfaction at how i got on. i have no idea when or whether i might be able to do the next one, which is scheduled for mid-April, i guess it will depend on whether the UK has joined others and is in full lockdown by then. Here are some photos from my little outing:

in the half emptied supermarket with my shopping and heels

just after changing into my heels in a sidestreet

opposite the supermarket waiting to cross the road

in the store

with my shopping bag, heading home

Talking of lockdowns, today marks the 60th day i have been kept in continous chastity this year and tomorrow will be the 450th day since my last orgasm. Being denied for so long is quite an amazing journey. It's odd, i genuinely no longer have any desire to orgasm again - infact were i to be made to by Owner i would probably feel a sense of slight disappointment at my period of denial coming to an end - and yet i also get waves of feeling intensely horny. The slightest thing can arouse and excite me, especially mentally, and my cravings to be treated like, and be seen as, a slut become stronger every day.





In the meantime i have also been kept on my toes at home by Owners' household dice and have been clamped, gagged, plugged etc whilst performing a variety of my household tasks. Unfortunately, however, Owner has also had cause to voice Her displeasure at the standard of some of my household cleaning (i swear She can see things i can't - maybe i should be wearing my glasses when i clean!). i was lucky to have just 'got away' with a verbal dressing-down from Her and not a physical punishment. If we do end up being locked down at home due to Coronavirus - as seems more than likely - i can well imagine Owner using the opportunity to enforce the very highest standards in household cleanliness.

Stay safe everyone, especially readers and followers in Italy and Spain who i know are enduring very hard times at the moment.

[EDIT] - since drafting this the Prime Minister has announced we are going into a sort of voluntary lockdown

My Sextoy Life

Let's talk about sex.

One aspect of my relationship with Owner is that She has, for a long-time, regarded me as being Her sex toy. That is to say that sexually my body exists for Her pleasure, not mine. At first this began as a 'rule' that i was never, under any circumstances, to initiate sex with Her. At the time we still had what one might call a 'conventional' sex life i.e. penetrative sex.

Then after a while it became apparent that sexually Owner did not need my clit inside Her for Her to experience pleasure. It became, in effect, redundant. The last time it was inside Her pussy was over a decade ago. She would still grind Herself against it or make use of my tongue but it was clear She did not need it inside me and so inside Her it did not go. Our roles also reversed, She started to fuck me, something i came to greatly enjoy. But, i no longer fucked Her.

Owner still permitted me to cum. She would tease me and pleasure me with Her hands. She allowed me to cum but only if had Her permission to do so. She also taught me to lick up my 'mess' afterwards and i grew to enjoy the taste of my own semen. Sometime later Owner discovered She could make me cum by spanking, slapping or caning my testicles. Such releses were painful but powerful as She hit hard. My orgasms became fewer but more intense and more vocal. Owner encouraged me to vocalise what a slut and whore i was as She beat an orgasm out of me.

Such orgasms as i was permitted in this manner only happened after She had first been pleasured. That was important. Not only was i never to initiate sex but Owner also expected my focus to be on Her. She regarded my body as Her sex toy. It's primary purpose was Her pleasure. Yes She would sometimes 'reward' me with an orgasm of my own but i was being taught to derive my pleasure from giving Her pleasure.

Under Her direction my sexual role centred increasingly on Her anus. Specifically on licking and probing it with my tongue whilst She concentrated on pleasuring Herself with Her vibrator. i love licking and tasting Owners' backside and She seems to enjoy having my tongue pleasure Her. Sometimes She simply rolls onto Her side to indicate that She expects me to worship Her, other times She will climb astride my face and ride my tongue.

Fast forward to today and my sexual role is solely that of being Owners' sex toy. i have not had an orgasm for 15 months. Owner does still sometimes beat and tease my clit (whether locked or not) but never to the point where i might be close to cumming. My role is now solely to orally service Her anus or to provide a body for Her to grind Herself against whensoever She should so feel like it. i have become Her sextoy, albeit one which She will, on occasion, fuck. Meanwhile i am now kept in a state of perhaps permanent orgasm denial (i have no idea whether i will ever be allowed to orgasm again). It is to me a fitting reminder of my sexual purpose in our relationship.

However, it is not a solely one-sided existence. Although i no longer get to cum i do get to experience great pleasure, satisfaction and enjoyment. i love, adore and relish opportunities to worship Owners' anus. It drives me deliriously insane. Being kept in a state of long-term/perhaps permanent orgasm denial (often but not always accompanied by being physically kept in chastity)has also considerably heightened my own state of sexual arousal. The smallest thing can and does excite me and my nipples are almost constantly erect and are very easily aroused. My biggest sexual organ, my brain, has probably had more fun this past year and a bit than at any time in my life. It's weird and difficult to explain, although i know from reading blogs by people kept similarly denied my experience is far from unique.

Owner will also on occasion, surprise and reward me with a new sextoy to be used on me. Last weekend was one such time. One thing i really enjoy is having my 'pussy' stretched and Owner also likes it to be kept nice and accomodating for Her if She wants to take it. Last Sunday Owner ordered a new ball gag and a pretty new butt plug for me from a company She found online called Godemiche which makes gags, plugs and dildos in a range of different colours that you can mix and match to customise. She ordered a large pink and pearl coloured plug for me together with a glittery purple gag.i cannot wait for both items to arrive!

A Trip To Lithuania

Owner and i have just returned from a short trip to Lithuania. We stayed in the capital Vilnius in a lovely hotel in the old town called the Artagonist hotel. It was a fabulous place to stay in. We also did a couple of day trips out, one to another city called Kaunas and another to the site of a reconstructed historical castle in a lake at a place called Trakai. You can see some pictures from our trip later in the blog post.

Unfortunately, i was not able to make any snow angels whilst we were there on account of there being no snow! It is normally about minus 6-10 degree celsius in Vilnius this time of year but instead was a balmy plus 4 degrees.  i did, at least, get to wear my long padded winter coat again, something for which there has been no need to use in London this year where the weather has been even milder. The world is definitely getting warmer.

i was lucky on the trip in that Owner did a quick photoshoot of me in the hotel room and balcony. i was even luckier in that She let me feast on Her delicious derrier as She pleasured Herself after first having had me felate a dildo and spanked my caged clitty. It is now well over a year (14 months and counting) since i was last allowed to cum, it looks like orgasm denial has well and truly become the new normal for me.

Here are some pictures from our trip. First, from the photoshoot:

spanking skirt and heels

on the balcony - hello Vilnius!

The corset makes me almost look like i have breasts

Looking down across the old town in Vilnius

Vilnius bell tower and Cathedral (one of many, many churches)

Kaunas

Trakai Castle

There was also lots of opportunity to sample some of the delicious, and hearty, food and drinks whilst we were there. One of our favourite places to eat in was a cafe called Sugamour. Here i am outside

in my long winter coat

There was also time for a bit of silliness on the trip too, like this moment when i was sat astride a wooden rocking-zebra (obviously)

yee - hah!

In short, we had a great little trip.

February Outdoor Challenge and More

After all of the excitement of my first appearance on stage (see previous post) i almost forgot that it was also time for my monthly outdoor challenge. So yesterday i rolled the outdoor challenge dice under Owners' supervision to see what challenge lay in store for me this month? The answer was quite similar to my January challenge, namely to wear shorts and trainers but this time to wear them to the bus stop near our local park rather than the park itself (as had been the case in January).

After pulling-off the nerve-wracking thrill of being on stage in a maid's outfit in front of hundred's of people i was confident that wearing shorts and trainers to the bus stop would be a comparative breeze. To make it a bit more of a challenge i selected a short summer blouse, despite this being February (the fact that i could wear it and not be too cold says all you need to know about climate change), colourful tights and a strappy bra to pair with some short black shorts and trainers.

When i arrived at the bus stop i realised that there wasn't anywhere obvious that i could place my mobile to take a picture to send to Owner to prove to Her that i had completed my challenge. In the end i leant my phone against a nearby tree (hence the - from below - angle). i was pleased with the outcome though, as was Owner. You can see what i looked like below

posing at the park bus stop in shorts and trainers

i think someone else must have quite liked my outfit too as i got tailed by a slow-moving van for part of my walk back home.

The monthly outdoor dice were not the only dice i rolled yesterday. i also rolled my weekly chores/task dice. This is a short week for both Owner and i as we head-off to Lithuania mid-week so i only have a few days to complete these other tasks. Accordingly, tonight i will be cleaning whilst naked and gagged and i might also be cooking whilst wearing weighted nipple clamps (if not tonight then definitely tomorrow night).

Then after that we're both jetting off on our travels. i am really looking forward to it. Sadly it does not sound like there will be much/any snow whilst we are there so my fantasy of making snow angels in my lingerie will have to wait for another day. But, i am sure we will have an amazing time.

Oh, and one last thing. Today is Owner and my actual (as in legal) wedding anniversary. i can't believe it is already two years since we tied the knot in Las Vegas. It is a day i will never forget, not just because it was a wonderful and very significant day but also because i have the date, and the fact that i became Owners' wife, tattoed around my left breast. Which means i have no excuses for ever forgetting the date of our wedding anniversary! In terms of anniversary presents, Owners gif to me was the task/challenge of appearing in public dressed as an anime maid whereas mine was much more traditional, a pretty ring for Owner.

Poppet On Stage

i can't quite believe what i have just achieved. Today i took to the stage dressed in my pretty anime maid's outfit in front of a crowd of over 200 people at the London Anime & Gaming Convention. Owner had set me an anniversary treat/challenge, instructing me to purchase tickets for the convention so that i could enter into the Cosplay Masquerade in my Hideri Kanzaki maid character outfit from the anime series Blend -S. Regular readers will know that i did a photoshoot wearing this outfit in a London Hotel before Christmas in the hotel corridor but this time the challenge was to appear in front of a live audience. Would i manage it? i have been on stage before but not since school days and certainly not dressed in a short and pretty maid's outfit whilst also in chastity. Could i do it?

i grew increasingly nervous in the days running upto the event. Luckily for me i only imagined that i would have to appear on a small stage in a basement not on a big main stage in front of hundreds of people. But i am getting ahead of myself. First, upon arrival Owner took a few photos of me in my outfit at the convention. Here i am

me in my outfit - you can clearly see my new 'Owned' tattoo on my thigh

practising my pose

in the audience - nervously waiting for showtime

Having set me the challenge to go on stage in my outfit as Her wedding anniversary gift to me Owner helped me with my make-up for the event and also documented my escapade.

But of course standing about and posing was one thing, getting up on the stage in front of everyone would be another. Eventually the PA announced that everyone participating in the masquerade was to go and start to line-up and prepare for their moment on stage. There were quite a lot of people in costumes entering the masquerade, mostly teenagers but one or two in their 20s or 30s. i suspect i was the only 50 year old amongst them.

As we lined-up and waited our turn i confess to having a moment when i thought, what on earth am i doing? i became self-conscious that my skirt was quite short and you could see my knickers underneath and, well if you could see my knickers then it would be quite easy to see i was in chastity. Would people notice when i was on stage and they were looking up at me, up my skirt, seeing my frilly panties? Oh well, in for a penny in for a pound! i was determined that i would push myself to appear on stage no matter what people thought. i was actually mentally prepared for people to laugh at me.

Eventually my turn came. This is what Owner documented

To my amazement i even got a few cheers as i left the stage. Owner was delighted with my performance and i am really pleased that i did it. This has to be the best wedding anniversary gift/challenge ever. i fear Owner may just have created a monster. Today a stage at in London, next time...Vegas? 😁

Tomorrow i need to roll the dice for this months' outdoor challenge. i can't imagine it will beat the experience of being on stage though.

A Brief Update

Things have been a little quiet for Owner and i since the excitement of my birthday and its attendant treats. Work has been busy for both of us, Owner especially. However, we have been out to the cinema and to a new local restaurant/bar that has opened near to where we live. They do a good selection of gluten-free drinks and food (Owner is gluten intolerant) and it is quite close to where we live so it is a useful addition to the neighbourhood.

In the new bar, can you guess what my favourite drink is?

Meanwhile, my tattoo is almost fully healed as too is my leg (at last). i just need to go back to the parlour to finish off a tiny bit of the tattoo. i love having the statement that i am 'Owned' permanently etched onto my thigh.

i have also been made to suffer whilst completing my domestic tasks courtesy of Owners' new dice. My nipples have been regularly clamped and weighted whilst cleaning/cooking and my caged clit has also been 'decorated' by miniature wooden and metal pegs - which are torture when being removed - again, whilst cleaning.

ready to start cooking with my tit weights attached - i realise i need to lose some weight!

Meanwhile, there are a couple of exciting events coming up which i am really looking forward to. First up, next weekend Owner and i are going to an anime convention. i have never been to one before and i hope to be able to dress up in my little cosplay maids outfit. There is an outfit competition which woud be fun to enter - i wonder how many other 50 year olds will be hoping to spend sometime dressed up in a maids outfit in public? 😄

Then, the following week Owner and i have a little trip planned to Vilnius in Lithuania. Owner has been there before but i never have. We are both hoping for snow (this winter has been ridiculously mild to date) - i would love the opportunity to make snow angels in my lingerie! It looks like a beautiful city and we are really looking forward to the opportunity to explore it together.

Finally, it is just under a week to go before i once agin have to roll the monthly outdoor challenge dice. Last month i got an 'easy' task, wearing my shorts in the park. i wonder what this months task will entail? Some of the possibilities the dice has been loaded with would push me firmly outside my comfort zone, which is a good thing. Hope all our readers are well.

Ownership and Control

Owner controls and dominates my life in some many wonderful ways. She controls me financially, She decides what i will eat or drink when we go out, i need Her permission before making any purchases, She decides what clothes i might buy, how Her home is to be kept and decorated, She can chastise or punish me at any time, She sets me tasks and challenges, expects that i will keep Her home clean and tidy at all times, will prepare all Her meals and do all Her washing. She also keeps me collared at all times, at home as well as at work. And of course, She dominates me sexually, is clear that my purpose is to pleasure Her whilst keeping me in denial (over 400 days and counting since my last orgasm). In short, She controls and dominates me completely, She owns me. As Her wife i am a moon locked in happy eternal orbit around Her planet. Her ownership of me is complete, there is not an aspect of my life into which it does not extend and shape and determine what i may or may not do.

Thus, it is only fitting that as Her final gift to me for my fiftieth birthday Owner designed a tattoo for me to publicly mark the fact that i am fully 'Owned' by Her. Earlier this week i headed out to the tattoo parlour to be permanently inked in a way that publicly and very openly celebrates the complete control Owner has over me. The tattoo is on my right inner thigh and is big enough to be fully obvious whenever i am in shorts or a skirt.

i am thrilled, honoured and excited and immensely proud to be so publicly labelled by Owner as belonging to Her completely. She is a truly amazing and wonderful woman who has lit-up and enriched my life in so many wonderful ways. To be Hers is to be complete. She is my world and i cherish Her absolute rule over me. To be owned by Her, to be able to submit totally to Her and for Her absolute control and dominance over me to be marked upon my flesh until the day i die is a truly wonderful privilege. For it is only that, namely my own death, that would ever cause us to be parted. i am Hers for as long as i have breath in my lungs and am honoured to be marked for life as belonging to Owner. She truly is the person who makes my life complete and i love and adore Her.

So what does the new tattoo look like? Well the first thing to say is that the tattoo artist deviated a little from Owners' original design. i didn't realise this at first, other than the fact the tattoist had changed the placing of Owners initials (which i checked Owner was ok with). However, when i returned home Owner was quick to spot that the tattoo lookeda little different from Her original design. i love how it looks and all that it represents but Owner is a bit disappointed as it is not a replica of the design She produced. The artist also needs to re-touch one of the initials as the final version did not come out quite right, but she is confident it can be fixed.

So these are a few shots of me getting the tattoo done and the final version

on the couch, stencil marked up, waiting to be inked

2/3 of the tattoo completed

And now a photo of the tattoo the day after having it done

1 day later

i like the fact that the tattoo clearly says i am 'Owned' and has Owner's initials around it, marking me as Hers (accepting one of the letters needs tweaking slightly). As i say, Owner is disappointed it deviated from Her design but i am hoping She will grow to like it - She says is pretty, just not quite what She drew. The most important thing for me is not really the design but the statement itself. i am owned and am owned by Her. That is what i want people to know if they see the tattoo. My inner thighs now proclaim Owners' nickname for me and my status as being owned by Her.