Why i Wear What i Do

In a comment on one of my recent blog articles Evy asked:

Do you always wear fem clothes including underwear?
And what is for you the reason to wear them.

They are good questions which i seek to answer below.

Taking the first question, do i always wear fem clothes including underwear? The answer is that 99% of the time, yes i always wear fem clothes and 100% of the time i always wear fem underwear. Any clothes that i am permitted to purchase (and i am not allowed to purchase anything not agreed to by Her) or which Owner buys for me are always feminine clothes, without exception. What that means in practice is that all my clothes are always purchased from women's stores or from the women's section of a store i.e. my jeans, blouses, work blazers, shoes, coats, etc, etc are all women's. All of my old 'male' clothes were gradually discarded. The only male items of clothing i possess are some t-shirts and a couple of long-sleeve tops which only ever get worn when we visit Owners' family in Spain. They are not worn on any other occasion. Everything i wear at work or when visiting my own family or seeing friends etc is a women's item of clothing. 

None of my underwear is male. i did for a while retain one pair of boxer shorts for use when going to the doctor but even that has now been discarded. Not all of my knickers are sexy lacy affairs, some are quite plain and perfectly OK to wear for a medical exam. i normally always wear a padded bra at home and when Owner and i are going out at the weekend. At work i wear non-padded ones except if i am wearing one of my short-sleeve blouses which is slightly sheer. My ambition is to wear padded bras to work too.

So normal is it for me to wear women's clothing that i know exactly what sizes i am for which items. If interested i am wear UK size 8 shoes, wear UK size 10 /12 trousers, UK size 10 knickers, UK size 12/14 tops and wear size 38AA bras.

So, why do i wear women's clothing? When Owner first met me i did not - in fact She used to take the piss out of me for having such a drab boring wardrobe (think browns and grey) and that i only possessed about two pairs of shoes. Clothes were of no real interest to me and didn't bring me any particular pleasure. Before i knew Her i would sometimes wear women's knickers in secret but only occasionally. As a teenager i had dressed in my mum's clothes (with her knowledge) once or twice for fancy dress parties but that was that. In short it wasn't that Owner had met an active cross-dresser when She and i first met.

So what happened? Not long after we started dating i confessed in writing to Owner my desire to submit to Her and, to my eternal delight, She agreed. Neither of us had much idea what this might mean in practice and so we spent a lot of time trying different ideas and seeking others advice. One such person was a wonderful woman called Mistress 160 who was an active blogger at the time (and with whom we are still in touch yet have still never met - she lives on a different continent to us). Anyway, Mistress 160 was quite active on a fetish site Owner and i joined and she ran a forced feminisation group. Knowing by then that i did occasionally wear lingerie in secret Owner thought that this could be a good group for us to join. Over a period of time some outfits were purchased for me to be 'forced' to wear and her photograph and send to the group.

Unbeknownst to us both at the time, however, was that we had stumbled across and tapped straight into a deep-seated but essentially hidden (including to myself) desire on my part to be feminised. The clues were there but even so even i was surprised how quickly the change from 'forced' to 'willing' feminisation occurred. i was really shy and often quite embarrassed at first and would be pushed to do things, such as walk around Trafalgar Square wearing a basque or walk across Waterloo Bridge in heels. However, my initial fears soon subsided and being en femme started to become more and more normal. i began to wear bras and make-up and even started to go en femme to work. i realised two things very quickly.

First, for the first time in my life i liked what i looked like. These days i literally don't go out without make-up on and if for some reason i am not wearing any as far as i am concerned i no longer look like me and i don't like what i see. Equally, i love wearing women's clothing and though that more often involves tight jeans than skirts i love opportunities to wear the latter. i still get butterflies wearing skirts in public but if instructed to do so i do without hesitation. i really like how i look when dressed en femme and though i realise that sounds a very vain thing to say it is the truth. i never used to like what i looked like so now actually liking how i looked was quite novel for me.

The second revelation was discovering that the sky did not fall in if i dressed en femme. Living in London (or any liberal city) probably helps but i have worm make-up and women's clothes in many parts of Europe and Canada and the USA now and have never once had any issues. i obviously get the odd glance but it is rare that anyone will ever say anything. Nobody says anything at work nor has it affected my ability to present at conferences or workshops etc. i wear make-up, a blazer, blouse, bra, knickers and trousers and a pair of women's brogues and nobody either a) notices or b) cares.

In the early days Owner used my newly discovered enthusiasm for all things feminise against me as a form of punishment when required. She would deny me permission to wear certain items, force me to throw some it away for bad behaviour or prevent me from wearing make-up for a fixed period. These were hard but effective lessons.

Today my feminisation is an integral part of who i am. i don't think i could ever go back to how i was before and would not  willingly want to. For Her part Owner has been incredible. She met a vanilla man and ended up, quite literally, marrying a wife. At our wedding in Vegas i wore a pink dress with matching heels She had chosen for me and She wore a dark blue trouser suit with a blouse and bow tie.

Owner, however, is the ultimate arbiter of how far my feminisation goes. She decides what clothes i am permitted to buy and decides what might be appropriate for me to wear or not. She has grown accustomed to seeing me in make-up and women's clothes and regularly comments and compliments me on looking 'pretty'. However, Owner does not find the female body physically attractive nor does She like feminine smells and so would not permit me to ever physically alter my appearance (develop breasts for example) or wear perfume. i confess to fantasising about such things but fantasies they will remain. But i am incredibly lucky and fortunate to have met someone who has been so supportive of and embraced what was a rather unexpected journey on my part. i for one have never been happier than i am as a person now and love Owner even more for helping me reach such a point.

So there you have it, that is why i dress as i do. i adore it and Owner allows and encourages it.
 
i leave you with a picture of my 'dress down Friday home working outfit' taken today