Full Term...And Beyond

We have just marked a bit of a milestone, it has now been over nine months since i last had an orgasm. It is not that i have not enjoyed any moments of sexual pleasure in that time, quite the opposite.  i have had the privilege of being able to feast on Owners' delicious derrier. i have been smothered by Her as She has ridden my face to orgasm. She has ground Herself against my body as She has brought Herself off. i have eagerly sucked Her vibrator clean after it was slick with Her juices. i have worshipped Her breasts and fellated Her 'cock'. She has fucked me with Her strapon and my swollen 'plums' have been spanked and slapped until they throbbed hard...for hours, sometimes days. However, not once have i been allowed to cum. Instead i have been granted the opportunity to experience the delirium of desire that comes from being kept denied for days upon days, month after month. And i am extremely grateful.

Owner has always been clear. My body is there for Her pleasure alone. Sex will only ever be initiated by Her and will always be on Her terms. My role is to please and pleasure Her whenever She should desire that i do so. In the past though She used to let me cum, it was always on Her terms.

However, the number and frequency of my orgasms has declined over time as Her expectations grew that my role was to pleasure Her.  Orgasms when they came were always combined with pain and came tinged with disappointment. Those orgasms i was permitted were mostly beaten out of me, they were achieved through Owner spanking my testes... hard. Orgasm via the sweet ecstasy of pain. They were amazing. Until meeting Owner i never knew you could cum that way or quite how fucking good to be beaten that way feels. i loved how the pain and discomfort, intense at first as my balls were struck hard, morphed into the most exquisite pleasure. But whereas now Owner will stop before the rush of an orgasm overtakes me and i am pleading to be allowed to cum, then She would let me explode.

But that instant of release from an orgasm that had just been, quite literally, beaten out of me was always tinged with dissappointment because in truth the longer the gap between orgasms, the longer i was kept in denial, the more i came to relish that denied state. Post-orgasm i felt flat. Gone were the raging torrents of desire that filled my thoughts each hour of the day and lifted me ever higher the longer i was kept denied. Gone was the longing, the high peaks of yearning, the rushing, tumbling, turbulent streams of denial.  After the transient pleasure of release the landscape lay flat and featureless. Then time would pass and the emotional scenery would start to change as my frustration and yearning once agan kicked and i would once more enter the foothills of extended denial.

Nine months in and i am back high amongst the mountains. i would love to cum but i crave the intensity of denial even more. It is a strange feeling. But here, amidst the wilderness i have no wish to return to the valley below. i wish nothing more than the opportunity to continue to pleasure my Owner whenever She so desires, to revel in the taste and scent of Her. To bring Her pleasure whilst experiencing the wonder of denial. As someone once said, 'it is not about the destination but the glory of the ride' and the ride is sublime. i don't know how long Owner will leave me up in the mountains of denial, indeed whether She will ever again lead me back down. But it is a state i have come to love.

In the meantime, Owner and i went out for lunch today in Dulwich. As you can see from the picture below we had quite the feast! i am so lucky to have met Her and to be able to spend my life with Her. She treats me in so wonderful many ways