A Conversation With My Father

i am now back home with Owner (yippee) having been separated for four days whilst i stayed down in Devon to visit my Dad in hospital. It is wonderful to be reunited with Owner and for life to temporarily return back to normal before i head west again for another hospital visit.

Yesterday, whilst i was visiting my Dad, i wheeled him in his chair for a drink in the hospital canteen. Whilst we were there we had a conversation that really moved me and which i wanted to share.

My Dad was reminiscing about when he was young (the thing with Alzheimers is that long-term memory can be excellent even if the short-term memory is non-existent).  He was reminiscing about his childhood and saying how difficult he found it with his own dad who was quite macho whereas my dad was not and was more feminine. 

My Dad said how he much preferred female company and had tried during his life to be in touch with his feminine side and how his dad had ridiculed him for this. I always knew he had a bad relationship with my grandfather (or Gan-Gan as i called him) and that my Dad had a difficult childhood.  He adored his mother but really disliked his dad who had also come back from the Second World War a total stranger to him and someone who was very mentally scarred by his wartime experience and took it out on his family.  

Anyway, my Dad said to me that i am a lot like him in that i am quite feminine but that i have got much more in touch with my feminine side than he ever was able to and that he was proud of me and loved me. 

It was such a lovely and surprising thing to hear him say. He and i also had a terrible relationship when I was young (we basically did not have one) but we gradually learnt to get along much better after my parents divorced when I was 18.

It's so nice to know he has 'seen' me and understands me in a small way. It is a conversation i will always treasure and remember. i am so pleased i got to have it with him.

 

When i relayed the conversation back to Owner She was very moved how interesting and touching it was that he had said that to me. 

 

Anyways, i just wanted to share it.