Permission to Speak?

So, it is still a few days away until the Trial period that Owner has set for me commences. This period being to see if i can demonstrate to Her that i am worthy of consideration of becoming more tightly controlled by Her. However, there is no time like the present. To get myself used to some of the new requirements and rules She has specified for me i am attempting to implement them all now.

Accordingly, i am spending more time checking that the shower tray in the bathroom is spotlessly clean and that the inside of the kitchen sink is wiped down and sparkly after i have done the washing up. i am also trying to implement Owner's new requirement that i do not disturb Her when She is listening to Her audio books and instead indicate to Her that i wish to speak and then wait until She indicates whether or not i am permitted to do so.

To that end Owner has made me a wonderful lanyard that i now wear around my neck all the time at home to be used to seek permission to speak to Owner. It has a super cute image of a manga style schoolgirl character raising her arm as if seeking permission to speak in class. Owner designed it Herself (with the help of AI). This image is what i must show to Owner whenever i wish to talk to Her and She is otherwise occupied. The challenge is that Owner uses small wireless ear buds which are completely concealed under Her hair when She is listening to Her audio books so i actually cannot tell if She is listening to Her book or not. i have concluded that it is best to assume that She might always be listening and simply to use the lanyard at all times and raise it to Her if i wish to speak with Her. Having my ability to communicate with Her restricted like this is a wonderful new form of control.  The lanyard is also super kawaii, i simply adore it.

permission to speak lanyard close-up

in my housework smock with my permission to speak lanyard

Another change that i have implemented 'early' is that now when i greet Owner when She returns from Her early morning walk, by kneeling and kissing Her feet, rather than do so wearing my dressing gown i now do so naked. Again, this is a new rule Owner has introduced for me.

Greeting Owner on Her return from Her walk

In position, naked and waiting to prostrate myself before Owner

Of course, what will really prove to Her whether i am capable of submitting even more deeply to Her and being controlled more rigidly by Her (as we both desire) will be my ability to keep Her home as spotlessly clean and organised as She desires. i also need to arrange for the last of the home improvements to be done, de-clutter the flat from top to bottom and throw out some of my clothes (which will be hard to do). This whilst keeping up with my daily and other chores, ensuring i cook healthy, pleasing meals, that i don't over order and check no expired foodstuffs are ever in the house. Oh, and  i need to ask to be electrocuted by Owner once a week. i don't really like being electrocuted but i also know i must learn to endure it. In return for this She might grant me the wonderful privilege of sitting on my face. What utter bliss!

i really do hope that i pass my February trial and that Owner grants me the honour and privilege of taking my daily submission to Her and Her control of me to the next level. It truly is what i desire above all else in life.

Meanwhile, Owner also set me some other tasks to do this week, part of the random series of tasks She assigns to me on a weekly basis which are decided through the drawing of cards. This time i was instructed to a) wear my butt plug for the duration of an online work meeting and then b) perform 50 Russian twists whilst 20 mini-pegs were clamped to my 'labia'. Here's how i got on:

It is now also well into my second week of being locked 24/7 into my new beehive mini chastity device. Things continue to go very well and Owner and i are both delighted with my new cage. This is me having my first weekly supervised shower, an opportunity to shave then clean my clit. The latter is done with a nail brush to ensure no accidental arousal during the cleaning process. i made sure that i scrubbed my bits thoroughly. Owner took the picture whilst overseeing the process from Her perch on the toilet seat.

supervised shower whilst i scrub my clit clean before returning to chastity

In other news Owner requested that i organise a pyjama party for the two of us. My plan for this is currently coming together. There will be snacks, party games, a movie, a nail salon,  drinks for Owner and perhaps for me if i am allowed and, most importantly, matching nightwear. i asked Owner if She could select a matching pyjama set we could each wear. This She did and the outfits were ordered and arrived just a few days later. They are great, each set fits and i can't wait to wear them with Her when we have the party.

That's all for now.

The Trial

This year marks Owner and my twentieth anniversary together, it is quite a milestone. With that also comes an opportunity to review and and further develop the relationship we have, Her control over me and my submission to Her. Ours is already a relationship in which i submit to Owner and She controls much of my life, but there are always opportunities to develop our Female-led relationship further, to extend Her control over me and deepen my submission to Her. This is what i truly desire.

This weekend Owner has been considering whether or not to grant me the honour of submitting myself to a deeper form of Her control. However, before moving forwards it is also of great importance to Her that i demonstrate that i am capable of properly doing and executing the level of submission and service that She expects from me now, let alone taking that a step further. She rightly expects me to prove to Her that i am, indeed, ready to be developed and trained further by doing the things She already expects of me to the standard She requires. In that regard She has found a number of aspects of my submission to Her wanting and my performance to be below Her expectations of me, Her submissive wife. Accordingly, She has given me a period of one month, from the 1st to the 28th of February in which to improve my performance, raise my game and prove to Her that i am, indeed, capable and worthy of being taken further under Her control.

Owner has pointed out that whilst i do routinely complete my chores i do not routinely complete them to the standard She expects. There have also been some other lapses and failures on my part and there are things i do that irritate and annoy Her and which i must learn to stop. Failure to do these things during the one-month trial will mean that i will not be permitted to have the honour of being developed further by Her at the end of the Trial. In short, only when i have, in Her own words to me;

'mastered the foundational tasks to Owner's satisfaction.'

Will She consider developing me further. To that end She has set out some very specific requirements for me to fulfill and demonstrate to Her satisfaction during the month of February in addition to the usual daily tasks and chores She expects of me. These are:

- check for and dispose of any expired food daily - i.e. She should never, ever find food items in the house that are past their use by date

- talking of food, to always provide Owner with daily healthy meals that meet with Her approval. i like to think i am fairly good at doing this already but there are occasions when i forget to consult Owner before starting cooking or where the meal turns out to be below Her expectations. Neither of these are acceptable.

- thoroughly clean the kitchen sink. Owner has pointed out that She has a magnifying glass with which She can check to see that the sink is completely spotless. She recently had cause to tell me off for not ensuring that the sink overflow and the drain was not spotlessly clean

- ensure that the bathroom is kept similarly spotlessly clean. i clean the bathroom daily but the shower tray sometimes has stray hairs and the tap sometimes has a build-up of calcium

- make sure that i only order food/groceries that are needed and that i do not over order. i am responsible for getting all groceries and there was a recent unfortunate incident in which i ordered salad leaves and tomatoes even though we had plenty. i need to check thoroughly what we have at home before i order.

In addition to the above, and tired of me disturbing and interrupting Her when She is listening to one of Her audio books, i must in future obtain Owners' permission to speak to Her when She is reading. Owner is often to be found listening to Her audio books, even when She is busy doing other things, and hates it when i suddenly start talking to Her causing Her to have to stop Her book. In future i must always indicate that i want to talk to Her and then wait for Her response. To this end She is making me a sign which i must hold up to Her when She is reading to indicate that i wish to speak to Her. She may choose to simply ignore my request or allow me to speak but i must not disturb Her and speak to Her without authorisation.

Owner is also in the habit of going for daily early morning walks around our local park before She starts work (when She is working from home). It is already expected of me that i greet Her return by waiting at the top of the stairs as She comes in and then prostrating myself and kissing each of Her feet. It is a wonderful little routine that we both really enjoy, it reaffirms Her and my status. In future, Owner expects me to be fully naked when i do this.

Furthermore, Owner also expects me to use the month of February to organise the last of the home renovations that need doing (to the staircase) and to present Her with a plan for organising the small communal 'garden' area at the front of the building our flat is in.

She has also instructed me to de-clutter the flat and the loft and dispose of/recycle items that are no longer needed and to do the same with my clothing, removing items that are not necessary, not used or not in a good condition. i am a bit of a hoarder and always find getting rid of clothes to be quite difficult, but i know i must do.

As Her current frozen shoulder prevents Her from caning or beating me, Owner has instead instructed that i am instead to present myself to Her every Friday and request that i be electrocuted by Her. i hate beign electrocuted but know that i must learn to tolerate it. For Her part Owner loves it and really gets off on being able to inflict pain to me. One of the things She expects is that my current low pain tolerance when it comes to being electrocuted is improved in the same way that She eventually got me to tolerate being caned, whipped or beaten compared to when She first administered these to me. Owner really misses not being able to beat me, it is something She came to really enjoy doing. Hopefully Her shoulder will eventually be fully recovered but electrocuting me gives Her the opportunity to inflict the pain and discomfort to me that She enjoys doing without having to use Her damaged shoulder. 

One of the things that Owner has also stated She expects of me during this trial period which is a real and unexpected surprise is that She has said that on Saturdays i am to request that She sits on my face. i love it when She does this and it will be a wonderful treat and more than i am sure i deserve.

Throughout February Owner has said that i am to keep a record of each and any failure on my part to do any of what She has asked and also record any other misdeeds and misdemeanours on my part. Sundays will then see me told to read out any failures on my part in order that i might be suitably punished, including having the period of the Trial extended. 

So, unlike the character Josef K in the Franz Kafka book, The Trial i do know what is expected of me if i am to pass the trial that Owner has set me. i truly hope that i prove myself worthy and She considers me ready to be further dominated and controlled by Her come the end of February.