The words 'shy' and 'exhibitionist' may seem like odd and contradictory bedfellows but i believe in my own case, and possibly for others, it is true. Owner may dispute this but i assure you that, with me, it is definitely the case that i am, or at least i was, a shy exhibitionist. However, thanks to Owner and Her training and guidance i have become bolder than i ever imagined would be possible. Let me explain.
That i am an exhibitionist is beyond doubt. In my early teenage years i would sneak out of my parents house at dawn and streak naked around our suburban neighbourhood. Why i did this i don't know, i just had a compulsion to do so and found it exciting and thrilling.
Fast forward to completing my MA at University, just before i started studying for my doctorate, and one night you would have found myself and a female friend streaking naked through the computer room - back in the days when virtually nobody had PCs and emails had just become a thing and you went to a special computer room on campus to send and receive messages.
In my mid-twenties i would, on occasion, be found naked on a beach on holiday. Of course i would never countenance such a thing now, not when there are pretty bikini's that can be worn instead! But that was way back then, before i knew Owner and before my feminisation journey began.
However, i was also what i would describe as quite shy. The streak at University happened on a night when i was pretty drunk, the naked sunbathing only if i knew i was alone or was with my then partner and nobody else. Even my early teen escapades happened at a time of the early morning when nobody was really about. The idea of showing my feminine self in public would have terrified me. It simply would not have happened. It was Owner who helped me to overcome such inhibitions.
i still recall the terror i felt the first time i took a bus with Owner whilst, at Her insistence, i was wearing make-up. Or the first time i stepped out with Her in a skirt or flashed my bra in Central London with Her alongside.
Each occasion, though nerve wracking, was made easier by Owner's presence and encouragement as She expertly but gently pushed me to become ever more willing to appear and show myself as She requested. At the same time Owner made it clear that She expected me to be willing to do anything She demanded (She still does) and to be proud to show myself as Her slut, which i still most definitely am.
Owner's next move was to start setting random outdoor challenges for me to complete on my own, without Her reassuring presence. To begin with i was nervous as hell, mortified about making eye contact with any passersby as i posed awkwardly to provide Owner with photographic evidence of a task completed. Tasks that evolved over time from wearing heels or flashing my bra to shopping wearing a skirt etc. To quote Gloria Gaynor:
"At first i was afraid, i was petrified"
But then something amazing happened, i started to become more confident, more daring, less scared of being seen by others. i also got a bit better at posing, something that Owner continued to train and coach me to improve via the photoshoots She regularly stages for me.
A demonstration of how far i had come, how much more brazen i was, how prepared i was to appear and dress however and wherever Owner desired came when Owner told me that i was to take the stage dressed in a short manga maid's outfit in front of hundred's of people at an anime convention. Oh, and i was also in chastity, obviously. As i waited my turn in the line-up of performers it dawned on me that most of those also waiting their turn in the spotlights were in their teens or twenties. It was February 2020, the world was blissfully unaware that Covid was about to close it down, i had recently just turned 50 years old and i was about to step out on stage dressed as a maid.
You can read all about how i got on in my blog post about it. i was so, so nervous and yet also so, so pleased with myself and how i had got on. Owner applauded me in the audience and told me afterwards how pleased She was with how i had done as i was told and performed in front of a room full of strangers. Her shameless little slut had danced about on stage in front of a few hundred people in a short little manga maid's outfit, with bunny ears whilst in chastity.
i was on a real high afterwards, i had been so, so nervous before and then having done it was such a buzz. i was super proud of having demonstrated to Owner that i could overcome my nerves and perform in front of Her, that Her slutty wife could make Her happy and proud.
So, why do i write all of this?
Well, as part of my 56th birthday treat Owner bought tickets for the two of us to the London anime convention. She also selected and chose a manga outfit for me to wear. The schoolgirl outfit worn by the character Marin Kitagawa from the anime series My Dress-Up Darling
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| The character Marin Kitagawa i will be appearing as |
The convention runs over a weekend in late February and is held in a hotel in London. Owner has booked accommodation for us and i have formally and obediently registered and booked my spot to take to the stage as Marin. i have even selected the music i will be appearing on stage to the soundtrack of.
The event is in a few weeks time, meaning that i don't have long to get my routine sorted. i have been practicing my little dance in the flat, much to Owners' amusement.
i am really excited, but also a little nervous. i hope to make Owner proud of Her wife and to hold my head high, do my little dance and act as if it is the most normal thing in the world for a middle aged person like myself to cosplay as a teenage girl whilst locked in chastity in front of a room full of strangers. Totally normal, right? :)
My ultimate fantasy would be to one day perform for Owner and others in a strip club or in a burlesque cabaret. Now that would be the ultimate exhibitionist challenge! i very much doubt, however, that any such venue would let me anywhere near their stage. In the absence of such a show, however, Owner continues to test and challenge my ability and willingness to pose and show what a true exhibitionist slut i have become on the streets of London through the monthly challenges and tasks Her dice decide for me on the 16th of each month. i also get to strip for Her from time to time, which often ends up with us both in hysterics.
In that regard, February promises to be a fun month with a random outdoor challenge to complete followed about a week later by me taking to the stage. What a lucky exhibitionist slut i am and how grateful i am to my wonderful Owner for training and pushing me and giving me the confidence to overcome my shyness and reveal my true self to the world.
Of course, i am not a tart all the time Owner takes me out. Mostly i am quite demur and respectable, such as when She took me for some drinks after attending an Asian indoor lunar market/fair. We actually ended up having drinks in the, quite pretty, bar of the Novotel hotel in Greenwich as all the pubs were showing the damn rugby on TV screens. As you can see i was very respectable
i only flashed my bra once :)
There were also two girls in the hotel reception that caught my attention last night. They were posing and preening, dressed all tits and arse, taking selfies for their instas or their websites (who knows). i admired their confidence - especially as the receptionist kept giving them the evils, but they cared not.
Later, Owner showed me some pictures on Her phone. They had been sent to Her by one of Her good male friends. He is gay and is, by all accounts, currently fucking his way around the Caribbean. He had sent Owner some pictures of his latest fuck buddies and these were the photos Owner showed to me.
Both were fit and cute although each sported neatly trimmed beards (i am not a fan of beards). Disappointingly, each was clothed from the waist down although one of the boys was grabbing his crotch VERY suggestively. Still, it was a shame there were apparently no dick picks, now they would have been nice to see!
Owner and Her gay friend and another friend of theirs are all hoping to go on holiday for a few days sometime this year. i hope they manage to. i am sure that Owner would have a riotous and memorable time with them.
Today Owner and i are having a quiet day at home. This morning, after completing my studies, chores and exercises i had a shower. After doing my make-up Owner presented me with a delicious fresh glass of Her piss
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| the special piss glass |
As you can tell i love drinking Owners' piss.
Piss consumed i then hastily dot dressed so that i was ready and decent to take delivery of our groceries when they were dropped off late morning. This is what i was i was wearing to greet the delivery driver and haul the groceries up into Owner's flat. The text on the front reads 'Hot Wife Slut' - it is a LBD that Owner bought for me a while back
