The One Where Poppet Wears A Bikini And Enters A Monastery

Well, i didn't go into the monastery wearing a bikini, obviously. And actually not one but two monasteries were entered. Yes, for a brief period the monks had another chaste - albeit rather slutty - person in their midst. However, more on that later.

First, the bikini. Owner said to me that She wanted to give me a little treat and let me stop and have a brief 'splish splash' in the sea in my bikini. We were spending the day on the North West coast of Greece visiting, amongst other places, the beautiful and scenic seaside town of Parga with its ruined Venetian era castle. On route Owner permitted me to briefly stop the car and accompany Her onto a quiet (and in hindsight not the greatest) beach to change into my swimwear and have a dip.

Well, here you are. The resulting gratuitous poppet in a bikini shot or two:

To prove that i did actually swim, there i am in the sea

Before emerging, like a monster from the deep

Parga itself was stunning, complete with a ruined castle with stunning views of a (much better) beach.

View of Parga from the Venetian Castle

Today, Owner and i set off  in the hire car to Meteora and its amazing series of monastaries and a convent, each perched on top of its own rock. They truly are a sight to be seen. Apparently, there used to be many more but now only a few remain. Access to each involves a steep walk up numerous steps, good for the glutes i guess. Here you can see a selection of some of the monasteries.

For some reason i was feeling particularly horny whilst we were there, confessing to Owner that my nipples felt very aroused. Side note - with so much of the past twenty years of my life having been spent locked in chastity my nipples have become super sensitive and easily aroused, something that having had them pierced and then been the subject of regular abuse so that they are always big and puffy - has only served to add to how easily aroused they have become.

Owner 'helped' out by rubbing and caressing my tits through my bra. 

Beneath my bra are a pair of seriously aroused nipples!

It turned out that i was not the only one easily excited. One of the monasteries insisted that all women had to cover their (already covered by trousers or a skirt) legs with a veil - Owner included. They seemed perfectly ok to let a slut like me wander freely about :)

100 Days of Denial and a Bit of Bling

Today marks a double milestone. First, it is the start of my new indoor regime, see my previous post. It is also my one hundredth day since my last orgasm. Reducing and controlling my ability to orgasm has been an area of increased importance to both Owner and myself over the past few years. 

So far this year i have actually had more releases than in previous years (four - two of which were ruined) all of which were in the first part of the year. However, i am delighted to say that the past one hundred days have been orgasm free, something i hope continues to be the case for the remainder of this year and into the next. i have written before that the longer i go without an orgasm the hornier i start to feel and the better behaved and more focused i am. This continues to be the case. When i become like this i find it difficult not to keep touching and caressing my tits, they quickly stiffen and i get very, very aroused.  Hence why i often find myself absentmindedly caressing them. Wearing a bra helps to minimise this and stops me from getting too distracted although even then i will often lift my bra during the day just to be able to touch myself there. i cannot emphasise enough how much i love the sensation of my titties being touched and caressed, it sends me straight to mega-slut overdrive and there is probably little or nothing i wouldn't readily agree to whilst my nipples are being played with!

Note that i said that when i am horny i caress my tits. i don't ever touch my clit. Even during this past one hundred days when Owner has had me unlocked as often as i am locked i still do not ever caress my clit.This is something only Owner ever does. She will sometimes touch and fondle it and of course when She does it feels very nice. However, over the years i have evolved to a point where i have totally stopped masturbating or attempting to masturbate my clit, whether in chastity or not. The only time i ever touch my clit, unless instructed to by Owner, is to clean it. Apart from that it is totally ignored. Of course, chastity helps but even then my clit still gets taken out regularly for cleaning which i do with a stiff nail brush, just to make sure i don't accidentally pleasure myself.  The only bits of me that ever get my attention these days are my nipples which, as i have said, i love to touch and caress when i am feeling horny, which i often am, and which then tends to tip me into mega-slut mode when i do touch or caress them. Touching them really is almost like a super power! Oh, and of course my pussy is always hungry to be stuffed and stretched wide, it loves that!

i think that if Owner was ever to say to me that i was no longer permitted to ever orgasm or if the weeks and months and then years were to pass with me never climaxing again, i think i could just about manage. But only if i was able to keep caressing and touching my titties. Being denied access to my titties and my clit would be something that i think i would find incredibly difficult to do. i have said in the past that i would be willing to spend the rest of my life denied permission to ever orgasm again, but i would find it very hard to also be banned from caressing my tits.

Talking of tits. They are now newly accessorised. i have re-purposed an ankle chain that broke and turned it into a little nipple chain. i think it looks very pretty. i think it goes well with my belly chain and the bells that are now permanently hanging from my clit (caged or not). i would one day love to have my scrotum pierced so that my bells could be suspended from a piercing rather than be attached to a chain around the base of my clit. Whether or not Owner would ever permit that, however, i don't know.

Anyway, here i am with all my metal and body jewellery (minus my earrings which are out of shot)

Let's Talk About Breasts (and Nipples)

i have received a number of comments and questions about my breasts over the past few months. In particular, readers have asked whether i planned to try and develop my breasts? Given the frequency the question has arisen of late i though i would write a post to try and address it.

i guess questions about my breasts have arisen of late because i have posted a number of pictures of them being punished or abused as a consequence of the home working tasks i have been required to complete. Tasks such as today's when the roll of the Owners' home working dice again required me to wear weighted nipple clamps for 15 minutes

How i spent 15 minutes this morning, tits weighted and clamped

Anyway, back to the question. Are there plans to have me develop bigger breasts? The short answer is no. There are two main reasons. First and foremost is the fact that only Owner is in a position to determine anything about my life or my body and She is very happy with my existing 38AA boobies. Owner is not really into curves (She much prefers an angular look) neither is She a woman who finds women's bodies attractive. Although She has been very supportive of my own feminisation and, indeed, buys bras for me and has in the past suggested that i wear inserts at the end of the day She wants me to have a body that is androgynous looking. My having real breasts does not interest or appeal to Her (and yes we have on occasion discussed the matter) so for that reason alone i think i can safely say that my breasts will be staying as they are.

What of my own opinion? Would i like to have breasts? Even though this is a purely theoretical question (for the reason given above) i still find it a difficult one to answer. Had you asked me this 20 years ago i would have wondered why on earth you might even be asking me, it would not have been/was not something that had ever crossed my mind. i had on very rare occasions dressed en femme but that had never extended to wearing a bra.

i didn't begin to wear bras (unpadded at that point) until about a decade ago and that was when my journey towards being feminised and evolving as Owners' slut and (eventual) wife had begun. But even then it was only on occasion at home. That progressed until the day when i first, very nervously, wore a bra to work. Again, at this point the bras i wore were all unpadded and so were easily 'hidden' under my clothes.

Gradually i adjusted to, and became used to wearing, unpadded bras. At that point i got the thought of having breasts into my head for the first time. Owner and i discussed it and She was clear that She did not want that for me. She did, however, suggest getting me some inserts for my bras. i baulked at the idea, which i think was quite revealing. If the idea of wearing inserts terrified me (it genuinely did) what on earth would i have done if She had said yes, She wanted me to have breasts?! It showed that although the idea might be an appealing fantasy to me, that was what it was, a fantasy. i would not have been able to cope with the reality.

Fast forward to today and, unlike back then, i now regularly wear padded bras (though still not to work). It has taken me a while to adjust to having a teeny bit of a bust and i like the new profile that they give me. Owner too is OK with them (She was the one that actually bought my first padded bras for me). i have worn them to restaurants and to the pub and out and about. i have not yet worn them to work but i now would like to start doing so - though perhaps not until the autumn when i can at least conceal their presence a bit, to start with at least. i like the shape they give and the fact that it makes it more obvious that i am not a man (although genetically obviously i am). What i am is another question but i just know that i feel more comfortable in my own skin (so to speak) as i am now than i ever have done before in my life. i can now look at myself in the mirror and think that i look attractive, i never, ever thought that about myself before.

However, though i have become more accustomed now to having a little bust (courtesy of the padded bra) there is a big difference between that and genuinely wanting to have breasts. i love the idea of having breasts but there is a big difference between a fantasy in ones' head and reality. Even were it an option (which it is not) i am still not convinced that were i able to suddenly be able to wave a magic wand and, hey presto, i had breasts i would actually do it.

What i would love though (were it my decision to make - which again it is not), and i am conscious that this could sound a little strange, what i really would love to have are much bigger nipples. Mine are already a reasonable size. Both have been pierced and abused over the years which has increased their size a bit anyway. But i would love to have much bigger ones, ones that truly protruded out through the material of tops, ones that you could inflict heavy punishment to, nipples that if much bigger must feel even more fucking amazing to be caressed or played with than is the case already. i have, in the past, orgasmed simply as a result of Owner playing with my nipples. i would love to have nipples like these

nipples i'd love to have - not mine!

Again, this is not, however, something over which i have a choice to exercise - it would only happen were Owner to require it. But i confess to having a bit of a thing about stretching and abusing my nipples and have come to greatly enjoy the discomfort of supending heavy weighted clamps from them.

So in summary, no i will not be getting/developing real breasts although i do hope that i will eventually wear padded bras on a daily basis. As for my nipples, these i would like to make bigger still through more regular stretching and abuse.