Stripey Bum Time

Owner administered my weekly disciplining last night before dinner. This time, in addition to receiving three hundred strokes from Her thin cane She also required that my nipples be clamped for the duration of the caning. Needless to say, by the time She had finished my backside was hot and striped and my eyes were watering a little bit. Owner really seems to enjoy striking me harder these days, which i am most grateful for and the addition of the clamps whilst being caned is something She has advised me that i can expect more of. 

Stripey bum from Owners' thin cane (pictured)

Caning completed i retired to the kitchen to prepare dinner then, after washing the dishes and completing my evening chores i knelt down in front of Owner and provided Her with a foot bath and massage to soothe Her feet. It was a lovely end to the week.

It has been quite a good week overall.  On Monday i was instructed to wear a butt plug whilst attending an online work meeting. i wore my heavy metal one with a tail. The meeting last ninety minutes and it was fun to take part with my pussy nice and full. Here i am with my tail.

As you can see from the above, Owners' bedroom doubles as my office space during the day (i use a little fold-out desk) whilst Owner works from a desk in our lounge. One of the real joys of the past eighteen months or so of the pandemic restrictions has been the fact that we both now spend all day together as we both work entirely from home. It is lovely being able to pop out of my 'office' and wander next door to Owner's.

Working from home also means that i spend much of my day in Teams or Zoom meetings and events. Owner bought me these really funky headphones about a year ago and they still solicit weekly comments from others - they make a change from the the average headphone. 

 

me and my funky headphones

i wonder what colleagues would make of the rest of my outfit!

One thing that i am determined to carry across from the online to the real world is the continued wearing of padded bras to work. i have worn bras (as well as makeup) to work for years now but i always wore non-padded varieties as i was self-conscious about giving myself a visible 'chest'. At home and at weekends i always wear a padded bra and this is something i have also worn at work i.e. at home for the past 18 months. More recently, i have attended a couple of face to face meetings and on each occasion wore a padded bra for these too. i feel much less self-conscious wearing them now than i once did (my makeup has also grown a little thicker and more obvious over the years). Not that we are talking massively padded bras, i am a 38AA, but i love the fact that they give me a small chest. Owner also teases me and will regularly squeeze my little 'boobs'.

But i digress. What else have i been up to/have we got planned? Oh yes. Mid-week i was required to eat dinner blindfolded whilst wearing high heels. i had made us a greek salad and did ok until the very end when Owner had to step in and help me out, hand feeding me the last few morsels that i couldn't see in my bowl.

This weekend has already got off to a great start. Owner handed me half a glass of Her delicious fresh urine to drink for breakfast. i don't know why but i do love drinking Her piss, i think it is a real privilege to be allowed to do so. She has started to make this a regular start to the weekend. Later today Owner is taking me out to lunch to a Thai restaurant She has frequented but which i have never been to. She has already selected what i will be eating. After the meal we are going for a walk together along the Thames.  

Wishing readers an enjoyable weekend.

A Brief Update

There are a couple of noteworthy things to report since my last post. One of those is that Owner and i spent last weekend visiting my dad and his girlfriend. So what, i hear you say. Well, it was the first time in which we have stayed with them and i have worn a padded bra and makeup throughout our visit. Not a major thing i know but family visits like these have, until now, been one of the last remaining occasions when i would still revert to 'boy' mode. Yes, i would still be wearing women's jeans and tops and knickers etc but i would not have had my make-up on nor worn a 'visible' bra i.e. one that gives me a bust, albeit a small one. But no more. As i say, not a major thing but it did feel like another little line had been crossed on my journey.

On a similar front yesterday i went into the office for the first time since lockdown (having been working from home the past 18 months). The occasion was a face to face meeting with a board member of the organisation i work for. In the past i wore a bra and make-up to etc work but the bra was always of the non-padded variety. Not this time. This time i wore one of the padded variety. Again, not a massive thing, it's not like i was wearing a skirt or dress, but a little step. The meeting itself went very well and he left fully satisfied. 

It was actually quite strange to be back in the office, which is in the middle of London and i was sad to be parted from Owner for the day. We have grown accustomed to working from home together. i do intend to try and keep doing so as much as is possible as i know She prefers to have me there. Afterall, a housewife's place is in the home as they say.

The week also started very well. On Monday i was also the very lucky recipient of a glass of Owner's finest pee to drink for breakfast. What a wonderful way to start the week. i love drinking Her urine but Her first piss of the day is always extra special as it has an intensity to it's flavour and taste that fades as the day progresses. However, that first morning release is rich and intense...and quite delicious. i also got to drink it out of my new 'special' engraved glass that confirms i am Her 'piss slut'.

me enjoying a glass of Owner's finest for breakfast on Monday

i would love to start every day this way!

Then this later in the week Owner had me eat dinner blindfolded whist wearing high heels and my 'cleaning uniform'. i genuinely could not see a thing.

me at the end of dinner with my blindfold still in place

The start of the week also saw me submitting my annual self-assessment of my performance to Owner  for Her consideration. i attempted to highlight areas where i felt i could improve and some of the things i thought i had done ok over the past 12 months. It has been a challenging year for a number of reasons. There have been the Covid restrictions, heavy workloads and Owner has also not been in the best of health but there are definitely ways in which my performance and as Her slutty, submissive wife could have been better. Owner has advised me that She wants to go through my self-assessment with me this coming Sunday. i look forward to receiving Her feedback to help me develop further.

Lastly, this weekend will also see me undertaking another monthly outdoor challenge. i have no idea what it might comprise but i look forward to giving it my best.

Take care everybody.

Standing, Spanking, Plugging and Flaunting

Owner and i have both had a tiring week so we are thankful that the weekend is finally upon us. Owner ended the week by administering my weekly disciplinary session which consisted of one hundred on my bottom with her metal paddle, followed by 50 strikes to the exposed 'bits' of my chastised clitty with a wooden spoon - the latter requiring me to be restrained in the wooden yoke to prevent me from squirming about. It was a punishing end to a punishing week, but i know these weekly discipline sessions are needed and good for me. i am very grateful to Owner for administering them.

The week started with me being required to perform a novel (for me) act, namely i was made to stand facing the wall in the corner in just my knickers for half an hour whilst Owner read Her book. It was the first time Owner has had me do this. To pass the time i counted the passing seconds in my head, reaching about 1800 when Owner announced the 30 minutes were over. It was actually a surprisingly good way of having me stop thinking about the stresses of work and empty my mind. i think Owner enjoyed having me stand patiently for Her too.  i can imagine it would be harder to do had i been wearing heels, or clamped, luckily i was neither.

However, a few days later did find me with my pussy plugged and walking arm in arm with Owner around our local park after work, the walk culminating in me doing 20 squats for Her - which were pleasant to do as on each dip i could feel the heavy metal plug shift a little inside me.

Oh, and one other 'first' to report - this week i attended my first face-to-face work meeting in well over a year. i decided to  be 'brave' and rather than wear one of the non-padded bras that i used to wear into the office i chose instead to wear a padded one - which i have grown accustomed to wearing daily throughout lockdown. i wore it under a blouse and jacket - i was attending a board meeting so needed to look vaguely 'smart' -  and was also in full, albeit light, makeup. Incidentally, i think Owner has taken a liking to my now regularly having visible 'breasts' - in the form of my padded bras - as She will occasionally grab and squeeze them through my top. Not the same as if i had real ones of course but still i am thrilled She seems to like to occasionally fondle my pretend ones.

So my week involved some corner time, a good spanking, being plugged and meeting board members and directors wearing a padded bra and full makeup as well as doing my usual housework and exercises and trying to be a good wife for Owner. 

Corner time

My bottom after today's spanking

Let's Talk About Breasts (and Nipples)

i have received a number of comments and questions about my breasts over the past few months. In particular, readers have asked whether i planned to try and develop my breasts? Given the frequency the question has arisen of late i though i would write a post to try and address it.

i guess questions about my breasts have arisen of late because i have posted a number of pictures of them being punished or abused as a consequence of the home working tasks i have been required to complete. Tasks such as today's when the roll of the Owners' home working dice again required me to wear weighted nipple clamps for 15 minutes

How i spent 15 minutes this morning, tits weighted and clamped

Anyway, back to the question. Are there plans to have me develop bigger breasts? The short answer is no. There are two main reasons. First and foremost is the fact that only Owner is in a position to determine anything about my life or my body and She is very happy with my existing 38AA boobies. Owner is not really into curves (She much prefers an angular look) neither is She a woman who finds women's bodies attractive. Although She has been very supportive of my own feminisation and, indeed, buys bras for me and has in the past suggested that i wear inserts at the end of the day She wants me to have a body that is androgynous looking. My having real breasts does not interest or appeal to Her (and yes we have on occasion discussed the matter) so for that reason alone i think i can safely say that my breasts will be staying as they are.

What of my own opinion? Would i like to have breasts? Even though this is a purely theoretical question (for the reason given above) i still find it a difficult one to answer. Had you asked me this 20 years ago i would have wondered why on earth you might even be asking me, it would not have been/was not something that had ever crossed my mind. i had on very rare occasions dressed en femme but that had never extended to wearing a bra.

i didn't begin to wear bras (unpadded at that point) until about a decade ago and that was when my journey towards being feminised and evolving as Owners' slut and (eventual) wife had begun. But even then it was only on occasion at home. That progressed until the day when i first, very nervously, wore a bra to work. Again, at this point the bras i wore were all unpadded and so were easily 'hidden' under my clothes.

Gradually i adjusted to, and became used to wearing, unpadded bras. At that point i got the thought of having breasts into my head for the first time. Owner and i discussed it and She was clear that She did not want that for me. She did, however, suggest getting me some inserts for my bras. i baulked at the idea, which i think was quite revealing. If the idea of wearing inserts terrified me (it genuinely did) what on earth would i have done if She had said yes, She wanted me to have breasts?! It showed that although the idea might be an appealing fantasy to me, that was what it was, a fantasy. i would not have been able to cope with the reality.

Fast forward to today and, unlike back then, i now regularly wear padded bras (though still not to work). It has taken me a while to adjust to having a teeny bit of a bust and i like the new profile that they give me. Owner too is OK with them (She was the one that actually bought my first padded bras for me). i have worn them to restaurants and to the pub and out and about. i have not yet worn them to work but i now would like to start doing so - though perhaps not until the autumn when i can at least conceal their presence a bit, to start with at least. i like the shape they give and the fact that it makes it more obvious that i am not a man (although genetically obviously i am). What i am is another question but i just know that i feel more comfortable in my own skin (so to speak) as i am now than i ever have done before in my life. i can now look at myself in the mirror and think that i look attractive, i never, ever thought that about myself before.

However, though i have become more accustomed now to having a little bust (courtesy of the padded bra) there is a big difference between that and genuinely wanting to have breasts. i love the idea of having breasts but there is a big difference between a fantasy in ones' head and reality. Even were it an option (which it is not) i am still not convinced that were i able to suddenly be able to wave a magic wand and, hey presto, i had breasts i would actually do it.

What i would love though (were it my decision to make - which again it is not), and i am conscious that this could sound a little strange, what i really would love to have are much bigger nipples. Mine are already a reasonable size. Both have been pierced and abused over the years which has increased their size a bit anyway. But i would love to have much bigger ones, ones that truly protruded out through the material of tops, ones that you could inflict heavy punishment to, nipples that if much bigger must feel even more fucking amazing to be caressed or played with than is the case already. i have, in the past, orgasmed simply as a result of Owner playing with my nipples. i would love to have nipples like these

nipples i'd love to have - not mine!

Again, this is not, however, something over which i have a choice to exercise - it would only happen were Owner to require it. But i confess to having a bit of a thing about stretching and abusing my nipples and have come to greatly enjoy the discomfort of supending heavy weighted clamps from them.

So in summary, no i will not be getting/developing real breasts although i do hope that i will eventually wear padded bras on a daily basis. As for my nipples, these i would like to make bigger still through more regular stretching and abuse.

Venus in Corset

Yesterday Owner and i went to the theatre to watch the production of Venus in Fur starring David Oakes and Natalie Dormer [of Game of Thrones fame]. Although the production had received some mixed reviews we both thoroughly enjoyed it and it received a deserved standing ovation at curtain call.

What made the experience all the more enjoyable was that Owner had instructed me to wear a corset, hold-ups and be pantyless for the show, and subsequent pub drinks and restaurant meal. In fact the whole day was one huge treat and Owner and i thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. i also wore my padded bra the whole time. You can see what i looked like below:

in the theatre

showing a little bit of cleavage

the beautiful interior of the Theatre Royal Haymarket

Natalie Dormer spent much of her performance in stockings, suspenders and a basque and i spent much of the time thinking what fun it would be to be similarly attired in front of a live audience, but then i have always been something of an exhibitionist!

The corset ended up being on for over six hours before i eventually had to remove it (with Owners permission and insistence) during the meal in the restaurant. It is a steel boned under bust one which i had tightly laced, but tight lacing and beef medallions do not mix.

The treats continued this morning with Owner sitting on my face and riding my tongue for Her pleasure, having already had fun with Her vibrator, until She came. However, this time, and unusually, as She rode my mouth She also instructed me to masturbate to orgasm. It has been over a month since i last came and i did so copiously.

Then to top things off when i walked into the kitchen to start making breakfast i saw that it was snowing outside, winter is coming!

New Tattoo and Other Updates

Well the day finally arrived today when i got my new tattoo done. Regular readers may recall that at the start of 2016 Owner advised that She wanted me to get a new tattoo done BUT that i was to save up for it out of the monthly allowance that She allows me each month. That allowance restricts me to a tight monthly budget so i was only able to save the odd £10 or so a month towards the tattoo. However, just over a year on and i had enough money saved to pay to get it done. Yippee! You can see it below (it was only done an hour or so ago so is still wrapped up)

not the most glamorous of images!

The design is of a half moon to represent the moon goddess (which Owner states illustrates my feminine character) set as a pendant on a beautiful rosary style ankle chain. i can't wait to show it off this summer.

The tattoo was done at Good Times Tattoo in London, not a studio i have used before but one i would highly recommend.

Meanwhile, the weekend just gone saw a season of Women of the World (WOW) events taking place at the Southbank Centre in London. Owner and i went along to a discussion with Gillian Anderson and Jennifer Nadel for the launch of their new book entitled 'We: A manifesto for women everywhere' which was interesting. And then last night (Sunday) we enjoyed an evening of Nordic inspired women's music, comedy and politics, all part of the same festival, hosted by Sandi Toksvig. It was an enjoyable and inspiring weekend and one in which i also got to wear my padded bra out in public too for our pre-event dinner at a restaurant and then to the book discussion on the Friday night.

On the Saturday Owner also treated me by taking me out for drinks and letting me have a few pints of cider - what a classy gurl i am :).

Hoping all is well with you.

Hot, Wet and Steamy in the City

It may be winter outside but Owner and i have just returned from a wonderful hot, wet and steamy 24hours in the ever amazing city in which we live. Owner took me away for a belated birthday celebration to a hotel in Bermondsey in London, close to London Bridge and The Shard, called the Bermondsey Square Hotel. Owner booked us into a top floor suite which had an outdoor hottub which afforded fabulous views towards the London Eye and equally fabulous opportunities for yours truly to prance about in my heels and bikini.

If there is one thing that i really can't resist then that is an opportunity to wear not a lot outside, be photographed just wearing heels and lingerie in a hotel corridor, put on a dress or generally just try to act the tart that i am at heart. It was an absolutely wonderful 24hours. Owner also let me have an alcoholic drink when we out on Saturday evening and She chose a wonderful meal for me to have in the restaurant.

This morning She even permitted me to choose my own breakfast and we followed that off with another refreshing dip in the hottub before doing some more cultural activities in the Fashion and Textile Museum and then at the White Cube Gallery (wonderful exhibition entitled Walhalla by Anselm Kiefer).

This video by Owner (and what a great video editor She is) shows some of the highlights from our short stay.

The build-up to our trip was equally exciting. i was working from home on Friday and so was wearing this 'dress down Friday' outfit.

Shortly after this shot was taken our neighbour rang the doorbell and so she too got to see me in my tights and shorts with a blouse and my 'breasts' from my new padded bra. She seemed momentarily surprised by my outfit but she didn't say anything, neither did the supermarket delivery driver when he called came later to delivery our groceries - though he did offer to give me a hand up the stairs with them :) - they never normally do that. Owner also permitted me to wear my heavy metal butt plug in my 'pussy' for two hours in the day whilst i was working.

It was a wonderful prelude to the fun and games on the hotel balcony the following day. Readers will be relieved to know (ha, ha!) though that underneath all my various outfits i remained safely locked up in chastity. My new 'nano' device has been in situ without a break for almost a month now (i will post a review shortly) and it has now been almost six months since i last had an orgasm. i am genuinely loving my locked and denied life.

Hope you liked the video.

New 'Paloma' Bra

Owner found the perfect padded bra for me the other day. She has requested that when i work from home on Fridays i should wear a padded bra as part of my 'dress-down Friday' attire. Accordingly, She wanted to find me the perfect bra to wear and i am thrilled to say that She succeeded.

i am a size 38AAA and there is a website called Little Women which specialises in bras for small breasted women but which also does them in large chest sizes - perfect for cross-dressers. Owner permitted me to buy the Paloma Bra which you can see on me below (incidentally i had just got out of the shower, hence my wet hair):

We're both delighted with it, the quality is great and the delivery was super quick.

Of Birthday, Bras and Mistress 160 and Sol

Yesterday was my wonderful Owners bithday and so before heading out to work i baked Her a marshmallow, raspberry and cream swiss-roll style birthday which we both tucked into when we got home.

It was deliciously decadent!

Amongst the various cards and gifts that arrived in the post for Owner during the day ready for Her to open when She returned was one parcel that turned out not to be a birthday present at all, but rather an unexpected gift from down under for me. Over the years that i have been maintaining this blog regular readers will have noticed a couple of things about me. First, that i am less shy and more brazen than i was at the outset. Second, that my femming in public has gone from occasional terror (on my part) at the mere prospect of wearing just a touch of eyeshadow to something that feels a totally normal part of my normal out of work (and even partly at work) attire, whether in public or in private. Third, i now have a growing collection of bras which Owner likes to see me in at weekends and twice to work during the week (Wednesdays and Fridays to be precise!).

Now the subject of my bras has cropped up a few times in comments readers have left on this blog. Specifically, questions asking why i don't wear padded bras or falsies - mine are always unpadded and generally non-wired. The answer to that has been quite straightforward. Owner prefers me with what She describes as my nice flat titties and speaking for myself as someone who was born into a family of almost concave-chested women, breasts and specifically a desire for large breasts as part of my femming has never really been that much of an issue or unfulfilled desire on my part.

But, and this now brings me back to the additional parcel that arrived yesterday and also to the two wonderful people mentioned in the title of this blog, namely Mistress 160 and Her partner Sol. Although Owner and i have never actually met either of them both have been a constant and joyful, humorous, educational and inspirational part of our own long journey in a Femdom/Female-led relationship. Way back years ago when Owner and i were first starting out trying and learning how to live such a lifestyle there was a wonderful couple in cyberspace who we soon 'stumbled across' on a Femdom social-network site. Within that site there was a forum for Forced Feminisation which Mistress 160 moderated and in which She ran a series of photo challenges for members. This was at a time when i was still terrified of the girl inside me and so my early fumbling feminisation was very much of the forced kind. As my own confidence and comfort with who i am (a cross-dressing/trans submissive exhibitionist slut) grew the notion of 'forced feminisation' became somewhat redundant....indeed, even to the extent that Owners punishments consisted of depriving me of items of female clothing to wear.

However, by then we had both struck-up an on-line rapport with Mistress 160 and became faithful followers of Her wonderful blog and of Her and Sol's exploits down-under. In one of Her recent entries Mistress 160 posted some pictures of Sol wearing a new bra...to which i commented that it looked fabulous (which indeed it did). It was unlike any of mine in that it was padded.

And this brings me back to yesterady and the parcel that arrived from Australia. Mistress 160 and Sol had purchased and sent me not just a padded bra from the same supplier but also a wonderful pair of pretty, frilly panties too. With Owners permission i eagerly tried the bra on - it fitted perfectly. It was such a strange but wonderful feeling to look down and have breasts! i confess i did a fair bit of mirror gazing of my new boobs. i know that Owner loves my flat titties but it was wonderful to parade around with 'breasts' and Owner happily agreed to take a photoshoot of me today in our garden and in the flat. So, Mistress 160 and Sol this is what i looked like in your wonderful presents:

Now i'm thinking that bra would make a wonderful wearing at work or out in a park in summer underneath a tight-fitting halter-neck top public challenge - but that would be topping from the bottom! (grin). Either way it was a wonderful surprise and gift and thank you both.

But, and most importantly, happy birthday to my wonderful Owner and thank you for making me the happiest person alive.