Seventeen Years and Counting

Yesterday marked the day when, seventeen years ago, Owner and i met for the first time. It was at Bond Street tube station and was the culmination of a couple of months of chatting online. We quickly became friends and then, six months later, lovers. i used to cycle across London to meet Her as we both lived in opposite parts of town. We'd spend weekends together but still lived mostly separate lives. Then i wrote to Her asking if She would move in with me and also if She would do me the honour of letting me submit to Her.

What had begun as a very vanilla relationship began to change. i suggested i go into chastity, She agreed. She began to train me and slowly, gradually the true me began to emerge. She had me collared and tattooed and began to 'forcibly feminise' me. The latter was a real revelation. i began to like me and felt more comfortable in my skin. Sexually we went from me penetrating Her to Her penetrating me. It must have been about thirteen, maybe fourteen years since i was last allowed inside Her. It was around that time that i also started this little blog.

Meanwhile, my training continued under Her expert guidance. We got 'married' - not for real at that stage but staged our own little ceremony where we exchanged vows to each other in which i committed to submit to and serve Her. i wore a pretty white dress. By then i had a few 'marks of Her ownership' permanently etched into my skin. Chastity had become the norm, i had started to become used to wearing women's clothes on a daily basis, including wearing un-padded bras and my collar to work. We went to a few fetish events but mostly just lived our lives as best we could with me trying to submit to Her 24/7. It wasn't always easy, things sometimes went into reverse, but slowly, gradually my submission to Her and Her dominance of me grew.

At about this time Owner discovered that She could make me cum simply by beating my testicles...hard. This quickly became the only way i was permitted to cum, and i was trained to eat up my mess afterwards. Owner's use of sex toys for Her own pleasure grew and my role in bed became that of licking out Her anus as She pleasured Herself, something i grew to relish (and still do). Meanwhile, Her control over me extended to other aspects of my life. At my request She took over control over my finances, my salary now goes direct to a joint account and i am given a small monthly allowance. Owner controlled my purchasing decisions from quite early in our relationship. Handing Her financial control seemed a logical, albeit 'difficult' decision. i have zero regrets about this but if you are reading this and wondering whether to hand financial control to your dominant my advice would be to only do so if you are truly secure in your relationship, as we were and continue to be.

Owner began to enroll me on courses to help further my development as Her 'wife'. i did massage and sewing lessons, learnt how to give manicures and flower arranging and other useful skills. All these were in-person courses. She also began to set me tasks and challenges to complete. i was allowed (and encouraged) to make suggestions as to what these might be but She was the final arbiter. They became a means of developing me as a slut, improving my pain threshold and my ability and willingness to follows any order or instruction from Her, no matter how embarrassing or humiliating they might be.

By now i had written and published my first little short story (i am STILL working on a novella started during lock down) and Owner had started Her own little photo shoots of Her 'wife'. She had also started to (very occasionally) beat me, something that i struggled with at the time - i am not a pain slut.

In between times there was a time when i had quite a significant health issue with my back that put everything on hold. i was unable to walk for two months and it would be a few years before i could even contemplate trying to run. Just as i recovered Owner's health took a series of hits. First She developed a 'frozen shoulder' which left Her in constant pain for about a year and then issues linked to the menopause began to kick-in. It started what was, and unfortunately continues to be, a difficult time health-wise for Her.

However, our relationship continued to further develop and evolve. We took a trip to the States and got married in Vegas (under the 'Welcome to Las Vegas' sign.  My feminisation and self-confidence had become such by then that i got married in a pretty pink dress and heels in front of a gaggle of tourists.  Owner wore a smart trouser suit and bow-tie. It was a wonderful and memorable end to what was a brilliant trip.

Back home my development continued apace. i now had a daily routine of chores that i was actually pretty good (and still am i think) at completing. i had started regularly exercising with a routine specifically aimed at developing and targeting my butt, to try and grow it and make it more touch and fuckable. i went from wearing non-padded to padded bras and wore skirts and stockings/hold-ups at all times at home (apart from when wearing my cleaning smocks). i got used to answering the door/taking deliveries/dealing with tradesmen/chatting to neighbours etc whilst dressed like a slut.

Owner has continued to encourage me to appear as the 'slut' i am in public more often. i have now, on more than one occasion, stood on the platform of our local railway station with my coat open wearing just my lingerie, stockings and heels; gone shopping in the local supermarket wearing a short skirt and high heels; waited at a nearby bus stop dressed in short skirt or tight little shorts. i have also deep-throated a dildo a few times in our local park or worn Owners' used panties as a face-mask whilst out shopping or sniffed their heavenly scent in public places. i even appeared on a stage in front of a live audience in a manga maid's outfit with short skirt and panties whilst in chastity. i was nervous as hell about appearing in front of hundreds of strangers, but i did it and got a real thrill from doing so.

The more i do such things the more i crave doing something even naughtier. Owner has truly unleashed the exhibitionist slut in me, i am far less ashamed or embarrassed of being the person i truly am and i love showing Her that i will do anything She instructs. i am proud to be Her exhibitionist slut and to perform for Her or others as required.

Meanwhile, Owner has continued a trend that had been underway for a few years, namely restricting the number of orgasms i have a year. By the time we got legally married they were down to a just a handful and have since become fewer still. My own ambition would, be to get to a point when i am no longer permitted to orgasm at all. However, that will, of course, be Owner's decision alone to make, not mine. At the same time She also started to 'treat' me to the occasional glass of Her urine to drink. Drinking piss is an acquired taste but i am now lucky enough to be given a good glass full every weekend for breakfast. i even got Owner a large, engraved wine glass for the purpose. i would love for Her to simply squat over me and empty Herself over me, just as i would love to be asked to clean Her with my tongue after She has been to the loo, but then i am weird like that :)

My anus, or 'pussy' has continued to be trained and stretched, it can now take a pretty big toy and craves to be stretched even further. i was also encouraged to train my throat to be able to deep-throat a dildo, something i learnt how to do after quite a bit of practice. 

Owner also began regularly caning/spanking/beating me in earnest, something that She seems to greatly enjoy doing. Her beating me is now a weekly occurrence. i have become better at accepting such beatings and learning to deal with/manage the resultant pain and Owner, for Her part, has become less hesitant with Her blows. Her hitting me harder is a good thing for us both and i am really pleased that this has now become such a common feature of our lives together. The newest tattoo that She gifted me for our anniversary is a symbol of this with the latin words 'Ubi Amor Ibi Dolor' - meaning 'Love Hurts' - now permanently etched onto my right breast.

Finally, Owner has continued to extend Her control over me and to take decisions for me in other ways. For example, restaurant menu's are now just stared at pointlessly by me as i wait for Owner to decide what i will be eating when we eat out

It is fascinating to me how, things that would have shocked, amazed or just plain terrified me seventeen years ago have become completely normalised. i could never, in my wildest dreams have imagined that i would be in the relationship that i am, living the way that i do. i love it, love my life and think i must be one of the luckiest people alive. i am sharing my life with a beautiful, intelligent and creative woman who is not just my Owner but is my best friend. We do everything together and i could never imagine living like that with anyone else. My submission to Her and Her control over me is 24/7. i am far from perfect and there is much about me that needs to improve but i also feel that i have become a much better and happier person as a result of living with Owner. i adore the fact that Owner exercises the control over me that She does. In truth, She is very lenient and forgiving of me, probably far too much for my own good. The prospect of another seventeen plus years living together excites and thrills me in a way i never imagined might be possible. i owe a huge debt of gratitude to Owner. She helped me to unlock and connect with the real me and i will be eternally grateful to Her for that.

Sometimes we remark to each other about how, for each of us, we cannot imagine the life we lived before we met. i think i have changed Her and She has most definitely changed me, hopefully both for the better. i certainly struggle to recall and connect with the person i once was. In truth i don't really want to. i was not happy or fulfilled then in the way i am now.

So, here is to the future and whatever it may hold. But provided it is a future shared with Owner then i for one know that it will be a happy and exciting one.