My Sextoy Life

Let's talk about sex.

One aspect of my relationship with Owner is that She has, for a long-time, regarded me as being Her sex toy. That is to say that sexually my body exists for Her pleasure, not mine. At first this began as a 'rule' that i was never, under any circumstances, to initiate sex with Her. At the time we still had what one might call a 'conventional' sex life i.e. penetrative sex.

Then after a while it became apparent that sexually Owner did not need my clit inside Her for Her to experience pleasure. It became, in effect, redundant. The last time it was inside Her pussy was over a decade ago. She would still grind Herself against it or make use of my tongue but it was clear She did not need it inside me and so inside Her it did not go. Our roles also reversed, She started to fuck me, something i came to greatly enjoy. But, i no longer fucked Her.

Owner still permitted me to cum. She would tease me and pleasure me with Her hands. She allowed me to cum but only if had Her permission to do so. She also taught me to lick up my 'mess' afterwards and i grew to enjoy the taste of my own semen. Sometime later Owner discovered She could make me cum by spanking, slapping or caning my testicles. Such releses were painful but powerful as She hit hard. My orgasms became fewer but more intense and more vocal. Owner encouraged me to vocalise what a slut and whore i was as She beat an orgasm out of me.

Such orgasms as i was permitted in this manner only happened after She had first been pleasured. That was important. Not only was i never to initiate sex but Owner also expected my focus to be on Her. She regarded my body as Her sex toy. It's primary purpose was Her pleasure. Yes She would sometimes 'reward' me with an orgasm of my own but i was being taught to derive my pleasure from giving Her pleasure.

Under Her direction my sexual role centred increasingly on Her anus. Specifically on licking and probing it with my tongue whilst She concentrated on pleasuring Herself with Her vibrator. i love licking and tasting Owners' backside and She seems to enjoy having my tongue pleasure Her. Sometimes She simply rolls onto Her side to indicate that She expects me to worship Her, other times She will climb astride my face and ride my tongue.

Fast forward to today and my sexual role is solely that of being Owners' sex toy. i have not had an orgasm for 15 months. Owner does still sometimes beat and tease my clit (whether locked or not) but never to the point where i might be close to cumming. My role is now solely to orally service Her anus or to provide a body for Her to grind Herself against whensoever She should so feel like it. i have become Her sextoy, albeit one which She will, on occasion, fuck. Meanwhile i am now kept in a state of perhaps permanent orgasm denial (i have no idea whether i will ever be allowed to orgasm again). It is to me a fitting reminder of my sexual purpose in our relationship.

However, it is not a solely one-sided existence. Although i no longer get to cum i do get to experience great pleasure, satisfaction and enjoyment. i love, adore and relish opportunities to worship Owners' anus. It drives me deliriously insane. Being kept in a state of long-term/perhaps permanent orgasm denial (often but not always accompanied by being physically kept in chastity)has also considerably heightened my own state of sexual arousal. The smallest thing can and does excite me and my nipples are almost constantly erect and are very easily aroused. My biggest sexual organ, my brain, has probably had more fun this past year and a bit than at any time in my life. It's weird and difficult to explain, although i know from reading blogs by people kept similarly denied my experience is far from unique.

Owner will also on occasion, surprise and reward me with a new sextoy to be used on me. Last weekend was one such time. One thing i really enjoy is having my 'pussy' stretched and Owner also likes it to be kept nice and accomodating for Her if She wants to take it. Last Sunday Owner ordered a new ball gag and a pretty new butt plug for me from a company She found online called Godemiche which makes gags, plugs and dildos in a range of different colours that you can mix and match to customise. She ordered a large pink and pearl coloured plug for me together with a glittery purple gag.i cannot wait for both items to arrive!