Adios 2020

As 2020 creeps closer to a close i am reminded of the quote 'may you live in interesting times' from Terry Pratchett's discworld series book Interesting Times. It is intended as a curse and 2020 truly has been a cursed year. Not only have we all had the global pandemic to deal with but here in the UK we have also had the self-inflicted psycho drama of Brexit to contend with (the real drama of which is still to begin).

On a personal level the year has been a tough one for Owner and i (as it has for many). Owner has not seen Her family in Spain for over a year, our ability to do the things we both enjoy doing together (travel, going out, people watching etc) has been severely curtailed and whilst our jobs have been super busy. But, but...on the other hand 2020 has also been a more positively memorable year.

For a start, Owner and i have had the opportunity to share much more time together with both of us working from home, which has been a real treat. It is lovely to be able to spend so much time with Her, to have lunch together and share brief moments together during our busy days in between meetings and calls. Neither of us wants to ever return to having to head into an office again.

It was a also a year of firsts for me. For example, before lock down (remember that) i actually appeared on stage in front of an audience, in chastity, wig and full make-up wearing a VERY short little dress and knee high socks at Owners request. It was a 'treat' from Owner as part of Her efforts to develop me into Her consummate little slut. The occasion was the London anime convention and it was my first foray into the world of cosplay. i was, quite frankly, terrified as i waited backstage for my moment in front of about 300 people. What was a 50 year old doing in a line of teenagers and twenty-somethings? But everyone was lovely and i got cheered and clapped. It was a thrill, a rush. i had not been on stage since school and, to be honest, i hope to be back on stage again one day, perhaps being even naughtier?

i also became accustomed during the year to having to go out and perform a number of outdoor challenges, again all part of my development. i am both shy and an exhibitionist. The idea of posing outdoors or in front of other people is both thrilling and horrifying. But, this year i have done quite a bit of outdoor posing, so much that Owner remarked on Christmas Day (as i completed my outdoor Christmas Angel photo shoot) that it is not really a challenge anymore. It is true that i have become much bolder and more confident, especially when She is with me. But, when She is not and i am on my own i still have to force myself to go through with what She has instructed.

The year also saw me permanently marked as being 'Owned' with Owner's initials also inked into my flesh for all to see. i adore the collection of tattoos that Owner has decorated me with, to me they are very public symbols of my complete surrender to Her and Her complete control of me. i am honoured to have them.

More recently i have also acquired some more marks, albeit ones that fade with time. i am talking now about being caned, paddled, flogged and spanked. Owner has always enjoyed doing this, She especially enjoys spanking my testicles and backside. However, in the past, when caning my bum it has always felt like she was holding back, resisting really striking me hard. That has now begun to change. In the run-up to Christmas i received quite regular canings, each of which was more intense than the other. They also migrated down my legs to include the backs of my thighs. The one on Christmas Eve was the most memorable. It left me with a wonderfully sore, throbbing bottom and thighs and even as i write this four days later my flesh is still visibly bruised from the cane's multiple impacts. Owner has also directed me to some shops on Etsy whose implements have caught Her eye and which She would like me to purchase for Her. i am delighted to say that it appears as though canings and beatings are to become a more commonplace and intense experience for me and will doubtless help with my continued development.

Talking of development i did fall a little off the wagon over the summer (during the period when i stopped blogging for a few months). Nothing serious, certainly no attempt to stop my submission, but my performance as Owners' housewife suffered. i let some of my chores slip, the daily meal's i still prepared became less interesting and i was not dressing as prettily as i could. In short, i was allowing my work to take over my life and was seriously neglecting my household duties and was in danger of really disappointing Owner. Thankfully our little two week holiday in Wales in the Autumn helped me to see the error of my ways. Since our return i am pleased to say that Owner has regularly complimented me on what a good 'wife' i am again. i am completing all of my household chores everyday and attending to any other wishes or needs Owner may have. i have also re-commenced my Spanish language studies and resumed my monthly strip-tease performances for Her.

One possible contributing factor behind the drop-off in my performance might be that this year, unlike 2019, i have been allowed to experience an orgasm. Four to be precise, four more than i did throughout all of 2019. The last one was over 4 months ago, which is also about the time when my performance and behaviour was at my least satisfactory. i have often thought that me having orgasms is detrimental to my focus and behaviour as Owners' submissive wife and since having my last my performance has been much better. We shall have to see whether this tear proves to have been an aberration and i will spend another year without release or whether Owner will continue to grant me the occasional one. What has been different this year, however, is that i have also spent less time in chastity that last year. This has led to the added need to exercise self-control as masturbation is obviously something that i am forbidden to do.

So to conclude, yes in many way 2020 has been a shit year. Owner did not get to go on Her 50th birthday trip to New York nor did we get to do many of the things we enjoy. But on the other hand neither we nor our loved ones have caught Covid-19 (touch wood) and we have still had plenty of fun. i also think that i am ending the year as a genuinely better pet, wife and person than i started it whilst in turn i think Owners' expectations and demands of me have (rightly) grown, Her assertiveness and control continues to grow and lately so too has Her readiness to inflict pain and to mark me. In short, there is much to look forward to for 2021.