A Rare and Unusual Sighting

No, i am not referring to the fact that today i walked around our neighbourhood with a pair of Owners' used panties on my head...more on that later. i am referring to the fact that yesterday, for a short period of time, i had a full erection.

You can tell what a rare occurrence it is for my little clit to actually get properly (by its standards) hard by the fact that i am writing a blog post about it. This is, in part, because Owner has made it quite clear that She no need of what She has calls my 'clitty'.  The only sexual organ of mine She requires is my tongue. My clit is not needed and is never, ever used. It has not been inside Her for over a dozen or so years.  My clit has become entirely redundant, a state of affairs that to me feels completely normal, natural and appropriate. i have become, what could be called, a born again virgin. 

As befits something that is redundant my clit spends most of its time locked securely away in a miniature chastity device, one so small as it ensures it is unable to get fully erect even if it wanted to. It does, of course, occasionally swell and grow a little inside its cage but a full erection is an impossibility. As a consequence i think it has learnt, over the years, to almost give up trying.

In fact, so used to being so confined has it become that even when it is unlocked, which Owner loves to sometimes do as She enjoys tormenting it, it remains resolutely tiny, flaccid and limp. The most it will generally ever does is swell a little bit. But what about when i touch or stimulate it when i am out of chastity i hear you ask? Well the answer is simple, i do not. Just as Owner does not use or need it for Her own pleasure, so too have i come to ignore it.

In chastity or out it is not unusual for me to feel horny and aroused. In fact, the longer it has been since Owner last drained me of semen then generally the hornier i become. This goes some way to explaining why i personally would choose to be kept permanently denied being allowed to orgasm, much as i might momentarily enjoy the rare occasions when i am permitted to ejaculate. However, whereas some people might masturbate in order to 'scratch their itch' this is not something i would even consider as an option, even when i am unlocked. Masturbation can lead to orgasm, which is not allowed. Instead, when i feel horny the most that i will do is push up my bra and caress my nipples or perhaps lightly spank my labia, no more. My clitty remains untouched and so rarely ever gets 'hard'. Quite the opposite of my nipples in fact which, unlike my clit, are quite big and plump and stiffen quickly and easily at the slightest touch.

So, the fact that i had what can only be described as a little 'hard-on' yesterday was very rare indeed. What caused my minor erection was that, under Owner's supervision, i was fucking my pussy with one of Her larger dildo's whilst at the same time She was gently striking my uncaged clit with a selection of Her canes and crops. My labia were already throbbing and sore from having having earlier had 20 mini wooden pegs attached to them and after which they were spanked one hundred times with Her leather fly swat whilst the mini wooden clothes pegs were still in situ. It was a painful experience and one that had left my clit and labia sore and throbbing. Accordingly, when Owner then began to cane my clit as i pumped Her large brown dildo in and out of my pussy my clit responded and started to stiffen.

It was, and is, an odd-sensation to see something come to life that spends most of its existence in a dormant state. It was a physically pleasurable experience, albeit one that also felt not quite right (more of that later), and i was soon starting to breath a little heavily as She brought Her canes down against my swelling flesh whilst i pushed Her fake brown cock deeper into me. i was positioned on my back on the sofa, legs spread and knees bent with Owner stood to one side so that She could more easily strike my clit and i could fuck myself. This continued for a short while and the more She struck my clit the harder and stiffer it became until it eventually grew to its full four inch potential..

Owner could tell by that point that i was clearly starting to get excited and aroused, always a dangerous thing. Although She does occasionally permit me to cum this is restricted to just a few times a year as it really is no good for me and my behaviour to be allowed to cum that often. Personally i think that never being permitted to ejaculate might really be best for me, however, Owner likes to occasionally force an orgasm out of me, possibly because of the noise i make when i do cum 'loudly like a whore' as She describes it. However, this was not to be such a time and my current run of just over 50 days since my last orgasm was not about to come to an end. Sensing my growing arousal Owner stopped caning and instructed me to stop fucking myself. Out of my pussy slipped the dildo, away went the canes and crops. After i finished cleaning up She instructed me to trim Her toe nails.

So yesterday was one of the (very) rare occasions when my little clit got hard. It was especially memorable because Owner allowed my clit to get fully hard before She stopped, making the denial that followed that much sweeter. However, seeing my clit like that also felt odd, wrong even. i am so used to seeing this tiny little thing (often hidden in its cage) that the sight of it was strange, almost as if i was looking at someone else's cock, albeit a small one. i have got to the point mentally where i don't really associate myself as having one anymore and it has long ceased to serve any purpose. It is totally redundant other than a toy for Owner to sometimes tease and play with. God, how i am rambling on!

i guess what i am trying to say is that my 'happy place' is very much one in which i am kept in a state of aroused denial. Orgasms do not do me any good and i always feel somewhat disappointed if and when i am permitted to cum, as physically enjoyable as that might briefly be 'in the moment'. It also feels wrong to see anything other than my little chastity device or a limp, flaccid clit between my legs. That is why it felt 'odd' to see my non-flaccid cock. Small as it is, even when fully erect, i am just used to seeing it in its limp state. Don't get me wrong, i don't ever want to lose my 'clit', have no desire to replace it with a different set of anatomy. But if if could shrink it further, make it smaller still somehow then i happily would. A micro clit with big, squishy labia/testes that were easier still for Owner to hit, now that would be good :)

i made a reference at the start of this extended thesis (and well done for getting this far if you are still reading) to wearing a pair of Owner's used knickers on my head. Well that is what i was instructed to do today, to walk around our block with them on top of my head. It was a good job that Owner secured them in place with some hair grips as it is quite windy today and they nearly blew away at one point! However, they stayed where they were and none of the people i walked past pointed and shouted 'look, person with panties on their head'. i do love it when Owner sets me these little 'challenging' things to do. 

Out and about with Owners' used knickers on my head

the hairgrips stopped the panties flying away!

Stay safe everyone and sorry this was a somewhat rambling post!