Blog Milestone Passed - Over A Thousand Posts & A Bit of Fun

i realised the other day that i missed a bit of a milestone occasion for this humble little blog. Namely that this is post number one thousand and two. i had managed to miss the fact that i had reached the one thousand blog posts milestone. That's a lot of words (and images) of me prattling on about my life as Owners submissive, exhibitionist, slutty wife in a female-led relationship.

My first ever blog post, and the only post not to have first been reviewed and checked by Owner before publishing, was written way, way back in August 2008. Which means this little piece of the bloggersphere has been chugging along for over sixteen years. It is now officially an adult!

In that first ever blog post, which you can read here, i covered a few themes that anyone who has read or followed me over the years will find familiar. Chastity, pain, cooking, public humiliation and forced feminisation - 'forced' until Owner and i both realised that this slut actually loves being feminised. There was not much 'forcing' needed for me to become happily immersed into a world of make-up, bras, knickers etc. i had finally found my true self.

That first foray of mine into the world of blogging attracted the sum total of zero comments at the time and that first post has never been commented on since, despite the passage of time. However, since then a number of people have come across and read my ramblings and some have been kind enough to comment and get in touch. There are people i have connected with through the blog that i consider to be friends, despite never having met, and whose comments and correspondence are always a delight to receive.

Back in 2008 i also, in a later entry, wrote about a trip Owner and i took to Belgium. By complete coincidence we are headed there again at the end of this month, which we are both excited about.

Much has happened in those sixteen years. i have got fatter to start with. Owner and i got married, we moved home, i gained quite a few tattoos and some piercings, discovered i am perhaps even more of an exhibitionist slut than even i realised.  We have both experienced periods of ill health but have been fortunate in being able to have travelled far and wide together and further strengthened and deepened our relationship and our bonds with each other. 

i strive to submit absolutely to Owner (sometimes more successfully than others) and know that true happiness for us both comes from my service to Her and Her domination and control over me.

When i started this blog i hoped it might be useful to others perhaps also exploring the FLR/Femdom lifestyle. In particular, i hoped that by sharing my/our reality of what living a developing 24/7 FLR relationship was like for us i might offer a more realistic and attainable view of such relationships than the more typical (male) fantasy depictions one encounters online. Depictions which i doubt bear little resemblance to (m)any couples lived daily reality. i have always sought to give an honest and open account of my life with Owner, the ups and the downs and, in doing so, hope this little blog may have helped others realise that there is nothing odd or weird about recognising you want nothing more in life than to submit to the person you love and adore. Neither is there anything weird either in wanting to dominate and control (in a consensual manner) the submissive in your life.

Of course, over the sixteen years i have come to realise many other things about myself. i enjoy being locked in chastity, love to be told what to do. i get a lot of satisfaction from cooking and housework. i love to wear make-up with a pretty pair of knickers, bra and clothes. i adore worshipping Owners backside and consuming Her pee. i am an exhibitionist and i am also a slut and derive great pleasure and satisfaction at the thought of being regarded as such by others. i have learnt to tolerate pain (mostly) and am delighted to have been permanently inked many times with reminders of my submission to Owner. i love the inner peace and intimate exposure that comes from being periodically caged and restrained  - well that is until my legs fall asleep! i adore performing for Owner and cuddling up to Her. i have a thing about gigantic cocks and love the taste of cum but have no real desire to be allowed to orgasm myself. i am sexually happiest when kept denied. i love to pose and preen for Owner and serve as Her muse and have got a little better and more confident at doing so over the years. 

i welcome the fact that my salary is not my own and that Owner, not i, is the one who buys clothes for me and decides what i might do or not do. The more controlled i am by Owner and the more authority She exercises over me the happier i have become. Never did i imagine i might enjoy being beaten by Her but i do. i love being the one She comes home to, greeting Her by prostrating myself and kissing each of Her feet in greeting. i love carrying Her things, doing Her hair, Her nails and giving Her massages. i love Her body and Her brain and the fact that i get to spend my life in Her company.

Looking back over the lifetime of this blog, and back further still over all the years Owner and i have been together, i am struck by just how much we have done and experienced. i could never have dreamt my life might have turned out like this. That i might have got to experience so much with such a wonderful person. It hasn't always been plain sailing. There have been illnesses, good times and darker times, periods when both of us have struggled, times when others things in life have intruded and sometimes taken over. There have been times when i have been far from the person i aspire to be, times when Owner has had to chastise me and pull me up short. Times also when, frankly, there hasn't felt or been much to blog about.

Hopefully, there will, however, be many, many more blog posts to come.

Finally, to all who read and comment on this little corner of the internet. Thank you. Your comments, our interaction, means a lot to me. Thank you for taking the time. i always love hearing from you.

Meanwhile, back to the here and now. This morning, just before lunch, saw me stood in the corner by the window, naked with my nipples clamped with the clover clamps with metal teeth and sniffing Owners used panties for 30 minutes. 

As any self-respecting slut should i confess to having been quite excited at having stood naked in the window looking at the neighbouring houses opposite and the people passing by in the street.

Then, after lunch i did a couple of little 'performances' that Owner had requested of me. The first is my re-imagining of the Barbara Stanwyck grocery store scene from  Double Indemnity

You can quite literally hear  Owner almost crying with laughter at my performance.

This was swiftly followed by my own version of the Sophia Loren strip-tease in the Italian 60s film Ieri Oggi Domani 

So yes, life with Owner continues to be as fun as it has always been

Stern Words For This Slut

On Sunday, after completing my outdoor challenge (see previous post), Owner took me for a few drinks in a local bar. It was lovely to go out, just the two of us, and spend some time together. Whilst we were there Owner used the occasion to also have a serious word with me. She noted how i had allowed my work-life balance to get out of hand and that it was not acceptable to Her and was also bad for me. She reminded me that She expects, as far as is practically possible, i am to be at home. That my purpose in life is to look after Her, entertain Her, serve and worship Her. 

i am not naturally a 'live to work person' but much more of a 'work to live' one, as are we both. i am, however, lucky in that i derive a lot of satisfaction from my job and have been able to have an influence in the sector i work in. However, as Owner reminded me. She did not choose someone to live with and to have as Her submissive based on what they do or achieve for work. Rather, it was based on my love for and devotion to Her, a love She reciprocates.

Owner made it clear to me that She expects me to get back to being the silly, slutty, submissive wife She desires.

To be completely honest, this is what i want as well. i have written before how my life with Owner fulfills me in ways that my work never could. i love and adore Her and want only to serve Her and submit to Her. i realise that i have allowed things to get out out of hand and that i need to get my life back into balance. Life with Owner should always come first. i have made changes but they will take a few weeks to become apparent due to the nature of speaking etc commitments previously entered into. Hopefully, however, Owner will soon start to notice that i am back home, at Her feet, where i belong and not gallivanting hither and thither giving presentations, lectures etc. 

Meanwhile, i had a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate to Owner that i am still Her naughty, obedient slut. i was tasked by Her with fucking myself with one of the large dildos for Her entertainment and amusement. So, on Tuesday night before i served dinner i found myself down on all fours at Her feet, my winter cleaning smock (the temperature has plummeted here) hitched up around my waist, lubricating my pussy with my spittle before pushing the dildo inside of me. It went in easily, buried balls deep inside my pussy, as i began to rhythmically fuck myself as Owner looked on. Occasionally i paused, withdrew the fake cock, fellated it and lubed it with my mouth before slipping it deep inside me and fucking myself again. This was repeated over and over.

All the while Owner watched, took some pictures and generally observed Her wife prostrate and fuck Herself at Her feet for Her amusement. She permitted me to fuck myself like this for a little over five minutes before calling a halt to proceedings. The whole episode left me feeling wonderfully aroused and deliciously frustrated. i was careful not to allow myself to get too excited and have an accident, it has been almost six months now since my last orgasm. i stopped when instructed, tidied up and then served dinner before continuing with my chores.

'Artistic' black and white image

You can see the original image below and see clearly that i am wearing a sexy combination of hold-up stockings and flip-flops! In my defence i don't currently have any slippers and my flats have fallen apart (and being an upstairs flats heels are out of the question). i also reckon that if people wear crocs as fashionable footwear, when these are essentially footwear designed to wear in hospital theatres, then why not wear stockings and flip-flops :)

Original image

Meanwhile, Owner has really hurt a muscle in Her shoulder and we are trying to get a diagnosis and treatment for Her as it is has left Her in fairly constant pain and discomfort these past few weeks. It also has meant that She has not been able to give Her slutty wife the beating i definitely deserve for having allowed my life with Her and my work to get out of balance.

Random Compliment

So, after an absence of a couple of months i have finally done another outdoor challenge, yippee! i realise how much i miss doing them. Technically it should have happened yesterday, when the chastity dice was also rolled (more on that later). However, yesterday was spent moving and deep cleaning our acquarium (and pulling my back in the process) and so the challenge was completed today instead. 

The task i was set was to wear shorts and fishnets at the park bus stop.You can see for yourself how i got on below. 

For the first time ever doing these challenges i also got randomly complimented by a stranger as i posed. A middle-aged black gentleman walked past me, smiled and said 'looking good'. Which was very sweet of him. i may have blushed a little 😄 as i replied with a polite 'thank you' before relaying the brief exchange back to Owner as i headed home.

Anyway, not my most outlandish ever outdoor challenge but good to get out and about dressed for a god time again :)

i was out of chastity for the above challenge as the chastity dice determined that i should stay locked only on weekdays until the 16th December, when the chastity dice will be rolled again.

Again, sorry for the paucity of posts from me. Owner and i remain busy and quite stressed with work etc but i am trying to get back to my normal-self.

When Things Turn Upside Down

Many years ago, when still really a child, i had my second and, so it would prove, final attempt at riding a horse. The first attempt had not ended well, the horse trod on my foot. This second time i managed to get on, i even got the horse to move a bit, but then the saddle slipped and i found myself ignominiously inverted. Hanging on upside down until gravity eventually won out and i fell to the ground. i have never attempted to ride a horse since.

The reason i write this is that this past couple of months have felt as little bit like that brief moment when, technically i was riding a horse, just not how you are supposed to. i was suspended upside down rather than sitting on top. i have continued to be Owners submissive, obedient wife and slut, just not how i am supposed to be. Things went awry - just as they did that time on the horse.

In my defence there have been a combination of factors that resulted in my not acting or behaving as i ought to have done, factors we all encounter at times in our life. Work has been extremely busy and stressful for both of us. For me, i allowed it to start to take over my life. i find my job professionally rewarding and it allows me to have, what i believe, is a positive impact on the world. i am, in that regard, quite lucky and privileged. However, as much as i derive satisfaction from it my work is not the thing that brings me greatest pleasure and satisfaction. That comes from serving my Owner to the best of my abilities, pleasing and pleasuring Her and from acting and behaving as the slutty exhibitionist that i am.

Truthfully, i am far happier and more contented getting on with the ironing or mopping the floors than i am being on a stage presenting or lecturing. Much as i physically might dislike it in the moment give me the experience of being bent over and whipped by Owner than receiving praise at work any day. i would far prefer to be on the receiving end of a dressing down from Her than encouraging colleagues in a team meeting. i would much, much prefer being cuddled up with Her than being in any situation work could offer.

However, this past few months has seen work taking over and also taking me away from Owner and taking me from the place i know i should be and the place i really, really love to be. Namely safe at home, serving Her.

Other things also came into play to take away my focus, things such as trying to look after my Dad and help him to see my sister. Concerns about the state of the world and what a shit show it all too often is, made even more so by the election of the orange man-child and his cronies, apologists and sycophants.

But, all these are things i cannot control. i can rage against but i cannot change. What, however, i can change is the thing that is actually the most important part of my life, namely my life with Owner. She deserves to have a better version of me in Her life than the one that turned up these past few months. She deserves a spotless home and to have all Her meals prepared and Her whims catered for. She deserves to know that She has at Her side a loving submissive who can be relied upon at all times to get or fetch whatever She needs and obediently and happily do Her bidding.

She deserves someone who completes the tasks or challenges She sets, who entertains Her and whose time is focused on Her and Her needs. Someone She can grope and fondle at any time of day and who will make their body available to Her. Someone to beat or to fuck, who looks pretty for Her, massages Her, does Her nails and Her hair. A sex toy She can use whenever She so desires just as She can electrocute and shock for Her own pleasure and amusement. A muse She can dress, a maid who cleans, a whore whose mouth, lips and tongue bring Her pleasure. A wife for all Her desires and needs and one who is at home, where She is supposed to be.

These are the things i really value. This is what i want my legacy to be. i need to get my work/life balance back in order. Owner deserves better but doing so will also make me happier and more contented too. i know that.

i appreciate that life can and does sometimes take over. We can't always live exactly as we would like to. But time spent upside down under the horse is time spent to no purpose.  It is high time that i got back into the saddle.

As i write this, Owner is out with friends and i am at home. i have spent time cleaning and have more to do. But i am also happy and content in a way that i have not been for a while. i am looking forward to Her return when, amongst other things She will hopefully read and approve the content of this blog post. i look forward to receiving the message from Her that tells me She is on Her way home, my cue to go and collect Her from the station and to carry Her bag. To hear about Her lunch and Her time spent with Her friends. i look forward to the quiet satisfaction of knowing that, whilst She was away i was not idle, that i cleaned and dusted Her home. To perhaps later being allowed to cuddle up to Her, feel Her hands run through my hair or up my legs. To part my thighs for Her, have Her slap my caged clit. To moan, be led to bed by Her. To worship and taste Her anus with my tongue whilst Her body quivers and spasms as She brings Herself off. To hold Her tight, feeling the contented metronome of Her heartbeat, watching the rise and fall of Her chest. Knowing She has had a good day and that i, as i lie there next to Her, frustrated, aroused and denied, have had an excellent one too.

That is the life i want to return to. The only life that makes me truly happy. The one i hope to live until i die.

Whither Poppet?

That's a very good question. The past month has been chaotically busy with work and non-work related travel which has kept Owner and i apart for far too long but which has finally, i hope, mostly come to an end. The past three weeks have seen me go from London to:

• Dallas, USA (for a connecting flight to)
• New Orleans, USA (3 days for as conference) then return to London
• Then to Birmingham (UK)
• Cambridge (UK)
• Devon (UK) then from Devon with my elderly father to
• Denia (Alicante region in Spain) where my sister lives. Avoided the catastrophic floods but then an unexpected overnight in
• Madrid (Spain) without luggage
• Finally returning home 36 hours later than planned, but with luggage (hurrah)

The above also involving a mad run through Dallas airport from one terminal to the next as my arriving flight was delayed and so i just had one hour to clear customs and TSA etc and make my connecting flight. An onboard medical emergency (not me) on said connecting flight. A taste of the city of New Orleans which, if like me, you enjoy a combination of intricate ironwork on your balconies plus all things death-related, you will love. The French quarter especially, even more so in the run-up to Halloween. The New Orleans conference i attended also included, to my pleasant surprise, being part of a line parade through the city after dark. Which was fun.

Then the challenge and entertainment that comprises taking your elderly father who also has dementia on his first, and sadly quite possibly last, international trip post-Covid. Enjoying seeing him remember and recall his own past career and travels (he was an airplane Captain on 747s and DC10s but also flew 707s, 737s and Dart Heralds) but saddened too at what age and his condition has done to him. Catching up with my sister then watching in mute horror some of the images and messages coming from just a few miles further up the coast as at least 200 people lost their lives in devastating local floods which saw some places receive a years worth of rainfall in less than 24hours. Followed by traveling back home with weather-related delays and missed connections that led to an unexpected layover in Madrid. Boarding a plane only for all passengers to then have to disembark and try another as the first was faulty. Finally arriving home very late Thursday night.

All the while missing Owner terribly and being separated from Her throughout my time in the USA and Spain. She Herself also travelled to Madrid for a long weekend with Her girlfriend to see Nick Cave in concert (we are seeing him together back here in London later this week). She also made clear Her unhappiness at my having been away so much instead of being by Her side or at home.

No sooner had i got back than She reminded me of my true place when She remarked; 'I am so pleased you are back, now I don't have to keep doing things for myself' [meaning that She could, once again, expect me to do things for Her]. She also welcomed me back by presenting me with a delicious glass of Her urine. i had not had any for weeks on end and had forgotten how wonderful it tastes. It was quickly and eagerly consumed by yours truly.

So, hopefully November will see a return to normality. Work remains busy for us both but i have no more work trips or other travel without Owner planned. She has booked us both onto the Eurostar at the end of the month for a weekend away in Brussels, Belgium which we are both looking forward to. i have remained in chastity throughout but, in the chaos of the past two months no challenges were done in either September or October. Now i have a lot of housework to catch-up with and a routine to try and slip back into.

i hope all blog readers are well and sorry (again) for the lack of blog posts of late. i leave you with some impressions from the past few weeks (in reverse order).

A glass of my favourite drink on my return home

Juan Carlos park in Madrid

Boarding my delayed flight back to Madrid

Mountain view in Denia

Mississippi paddle boat

Police closed the road for our 'line parade'

A great place for Creole food and full of history

Taylor Swift was coming to town...sadly after i had departed

A walled garden in the French quarter

Fabulous ironwork

My big bird out to Dallas - then a connecting flight to New Orleans