Happy Birthday Owner + We're Back Baby!

Today is Owners’ birthday, hip, hip hurray and three cheers to Her.

It turned into something of an eventful day. We received a call in the very early hours of the morning to say my elderly dad had fallen. He was OK but it meant we were woken in the middle of the night trying to help someone with dementia who is hundreds of miles away. It all worked out in the end and he was ok.

Then I had to give a lecture first thing this morning out of town so had an early start. However, there was still time to serve Owner some of the the birthday cake I had got Her to have as Her breakfast and give Her the presents i got Her. Some of these She had already previously received. 

Yes, i did accidentally decorate the cake the wrong way around

Owner had requested that I buy Her a new strapon and large realistic cock, one She could enjoy having me fellate and also fuck me with. I also got Her some lingerie that really flatters and shows off Her fabulous breasts and butt and also took Her to the overnight hotel stay at the weekend and which was the subject of the preceeding post. Then tonight I am serving Her one of Her favourite dishes, slow cooked lamb kleftiko in anticipation of our forthcoming holiday to Greece (we depart this coming Saturday).

Anyway, no sooner had Owner blown out the candles on Her cake and eaten a slice than I had to leave to catch the train to deliver my lecture. On route I checked my email and, to my utter astonishment, saw there was an email from blogger to say that our blog has been fully reinstated – as you will have realised because you are reading it.

It took 4 separate attempts to appeal the decision to have the blog removed for allegedly breaching bloggers T&Cs before blogger rescinded and reinstated it in full. It is now fully backed up as well and we will be researching an Plan B site we can also host it on in case blogger takes it down again. Owner and I were both so happy to see it restored as it documents 17 of the 20 years we have been together. Having it back was a lovely extra on what was already a special day.

That’s all for now, but it is wonderful to be back. A special thanks to all those of you who emailed whilst we went ‘dark’ enquiring what had happened and if we were ok. Your kind words meant a lot. This really is a wonderful little community of kinksters and deviants 😊

As I mentioned, Owner and I are heading off on holiday for a fortnight so you might not hear much again from us for a while (but then again you might). Hopefully, we are now back and able to blog again in earnest.

Oh, and one last thing. Suggestions that I delivered my lecture (which was at a prestigious university to a large bunch of international post grads) whilst not just in chastity, wearing make-up with a bra, panties, blouse, pretty earrings PLUS with pink nail polish….are completely true. Go me 😊

Blogger Blues

 

On the 20^th March I received an email from blogger announcing that my blog of 17 years had been taken down and would no longer be accessible because it had been reported as violating one of their content policies. Hilariously, the policy it was said to have violated is that relating to ‘Violence and gore’. Violence and gore? My blog? What violence and gore? The closest I have ever come to gore is perhaps saying something positive about Al Gore at one point!

I thought maybe it was a joke. But no, the blog had gone. To make matters worse, the backup files I had saved were wiped earlier that day when I had needed to factory re-set my laptop due to it not working.

Everything, everything was gone. 17 years of documenting my life with Owner vanished in an instant. There is an appeal process, so I immediately appealed the decision. You are given no idea how long that process will take. A search on Google suggested it could be weeks. If you are reading this on www.poppetsubslut.blogspot then you can see the appeal eventually vindicated me. If not, then this is the first post of a new blog, and the old blog has gone forever.

At first, I was incredulous, then felt almost bereaved as I realised all the memories I had shared and talked about that would be gone, perhaps forever, then anger and finally annoyance and defiance.

To however reported the blog in the first place, if you are reading this, then fuck right off. To everyone else, thank you to all who reached out with messages of support and concern and thank you to billie of MyMadamsFLR fame for letting the world know that Owner and I were still alive and well. Whenever blogs I follow go dark or become inactive I always worry and wonder what happened to the author. I didn’t want people to think anything untoward had occurred to Owner or i. Thank you billie for being a true friend.

In other news. Owner decreed that although I might not have a blog to post to, I should continue drafting and writing blog posts. This is the first such post (and if it appears you know that either the old blog has been restored, or we have created a new one).

I tried not to let news of the blog being taken down affect me too much but to lose a 17-year diary of my life with Owner did hit hard. Still, we had the distraction of a visit to my mum and her husband to take our mind off things. On returning that evening back to London, Owner suggested we have a drink somewhere. We ended up drinking a lethal combination of lager beer and sake in a Japanese bar. It was great fun. Owner took a shine to one of the bar staff, he did I agree look quite cute, and i flashed my bra to all and sundry as you can see.

 It was a good night.

However, the next day saw us both pretty hungover and tired, in my case this lasted 36 hours!

Blog Milestone Passed - Over A Thousand Posts & A Bit of Fun

i realised the other day that i missed a bit of a milestone occasion for this humble little blog. Namely that this is post number one thousand and two. i had managed to miss the fact that i had reached the one thousand blog posts milestone. That's a lot of words (and images) of me prattling on about my life as Owners submissive, exhibitionist, slutty wife in a female-led relationship.

My first ever blog post, and the only post not to have first been reviewed and checked by Owner before publishing, was written way, way back in August 2008. Which means this little piece of the bloggersphere has been chugging along for over sixteen years. It is now officially an adult!

In that first ever blog post, which you can read here, i covered a few themes that anyone who has read or followed me over the years will find familiar. Chastity, pain, cooking, public humiliation and forced feminisation - 'forced' until Owner and i both realised that this slut actually loves being feminised. There was not much 'forcing' needed for me to become happily immersed into a world of make-up, bras, knickers etc. i had finally found my true self.

That first foray of mine into the world of blogging attracted the sum total of zero comments at the time and that first post has never been commented on since, despite the passage of time. However, since then a number of people have come across and read my ramblings and some have been kind enough to comment and get in touch. There are people i have connected with through the blog that i consider to be friends, despite never having met, and whose comments and correspondence are always a delight to receive.

Back in 2008 i also, in a later entry, wrote about a trip Owner and i took to Belgium. By complete coincidence we are headed there again at the end of this month, which we are both excited about.

Much has happened in those sixteen years. i have got fatter to start with. Owner and i got married, we moved home, i gained quite a few tattoos and some piercings, discovered i am perhaps even more of an exhibitionist slut than even i realised.  We have both experienced periods of ill health but have been fortunate in being able to have travelled far and wide together and further strengthened and deepened our relationship and our bonds with each other. 

i strive to submit absolutely to Owner (sometimes more successfully than others) and know that true happiness for us both comes from my service to Her and Her domination and control over me.

When i started this blog i hoped it might be useful to others perhaps also exploring the FLR/Femdom lifestyle. In particular, i hoped that by sharing my/our reality of what living a developing 24/7 FLR relationship was like for us i might offer a more realistic and attainable view of such relationships than the more typical (male) fantasy depictions one encounters online. Depictions which i doubt bear little resemblance to (m)any couples lived daily reality. i have always sought to give an honest and open account of my life with Owner, the ups and the downs and, in doing so, hope this little blog may have helped others realise that there is nothing odd or weird about recognising you want nothing more in life than to submit to the person you love and adore. Neither is there anything weird either in wanting to dominate and control (in a consensual manner) the submissive in your life.

Of course, over the sixteen years i have come to realise many other things about myself. i enjoy being locked in chastity, love to be told what to do. i get a lot of satisfaction from cooking and housework. i love to wear make-up with a pretty pair of knickers, bra and clothes. i adore worshipping Owners backside and consuming Her pee. i am an exhibitionist and i am also a slut and derive great pleasure and satisfaction at the thought of being regarded as such by others. i have learnt to tolerate pain (mostly) and am delighted to have been permanently inked many times with reminders of my submission to Owner. i love the inner peace and intimate exposure that comes from being periodically caged and restrained  - well that is until my legs fall asleep! i adore performing for Owner and cuddling up to Her. i have a thing about gigantic cocks and love the taste of cum but have no real desire to be allowed to orgasm myself. i am sexually happiest when kept denied. i love to pose and preen for Owner and serve as Her muse and have got a little better and more confident at doing so over the years. 

i welcome the fact that my salary is not my own and that Owner, not i, is the one who buys clothes for me and decides what i might do or not do. The more controlled i am by Owner and the more authority She exercises over me the happier i have become. Never did i imagine i might enjoy being beaten by Her but i do. i love being the one She comes home to, greeting Her by prostrating myself and kissing each of Her feet in greeting. i love carrying Her things, doing Her hair, Her nails and giving Her massages. i love Her body and Her brain and the fact that i get to spend my life in Her company.

Looking back over the lifetime of this blog, and back further still over all the years Owner and i have been together, i am struck by just how much we have done and experienced. i could never have dreamt my life might have turned out like this. That i might have got to experience so much with such a wonderful person. It hasn't always been plain sailing. There have been illnesses, good times and darker times, periods when both of us have struggled, times when others things in life have intruded and sometimes taken over. There have been times when i have been far from the person i aspire to be, times when Owner has had to chastise me and pull me up short. Times also when, frankly, there hasn't felt or been much to blog about.

Hopefully, there will, however, be many, many more blog posts to come.

Finally, to all who read and comment on this little corner of the internet. Thank you. Your comments, our interaction, means a lot to me. Thank you for taking the time. i always love hearing from you.

Meanwhile, back to the here and now. This morning, just before lunch, saw me stood in the corner by the window, naked with my nipples clamped with the clover clamps with metal teeth and sniffing Owners used panties for 30 minutes. 

As any self-respecting slut should i confess to having been quite excited at having stood naked in the window looking at the neighbouring houses opposite and the people passing by in the street.

Then, after lunch i did a couple of little 'performances' that Owner had requested of me. The first is my re-imagining of the Barbara Stanwyck grocery store scene from  Double Indemnity

You can quite literally hear  Owner almost crying with laughter at my performance.

This was swiftly followed by my own version of the Sophia Loren strip-tease in the Italian 60s film Ieri Oggi Domani 

So yes, life with Owner continues to be as fun as it has always been

14 Years of Blogging and Counting

Would you believe that this little blog has now been going for over fourteen years. My first post was back in August 2008. What a lot has happened since then and how my relationship with Owner has strengthened, grown and evolved. i could never have believed back then quite how far we would have traveled on our journey into FLR and my submission to Her. i hope to still be blogging about my and Her life together 14 years from now.

In the meantime we have both been fairly busy with work and i have also been needing to help my father out with some things which has been occupying my headspace somewhat. However, i am delighted to say that i am continuing to keep up my daily studies and also find that the new routine of being caged when not being productive or asked to join Owner at Her side also helps to clear my head. It has, somewhat surprisingly, become something i actually quite look forward to.

i have a dental appointment this afternoon which i am not greatly looking forward to, it has been about four or five years since i last visited one and expect to be told off. Ho hum.

Meanwhile, this week i was lucky enough to be asked by Owner to act as Her footstool one evening whilst She was on the phone to Her mother. Part of me thinks how great it would be for my mother-in-law to know that i was kneeling naked, her daughter's feet resting on my back, as they chatted.

Owner also requested that i spend time plugged whilst working. Here is the lovely, heavy metal plug ready for entry

my lovely metal plug

and this is it in situ

plugged and with my clit chain also visible

Last night i was also lucky enough to receive my weekly disciplining by Owner. This week She used Her heavy wooden paddle to spank me p.s. the white marks on my right butt cheek are from where Owner decided to 'paint' my bottom with tipex

my pink butt

Finally, Owner also remarked that it has been a while since She last sat on my face (which it has). i am hoping that i might get to experience the pleasure of Her delicious backside this weekend if i am lucky.

Blog Update

Hello one and all. You may have noticed that the appearance of the blog has changed. That is because someone corrupted/hacked the last template so we have removed that template and are using a new one. Owner thinks this new one is much cleaner and clearer than the last anyway. What do you think?

In other news. Owner took me out for a lovely brunch on Sunday followed by a walk along the River Thames from Canary Wharf to London Bridge. The place we went for brunch was one we have not visited before called Caravan. It was very popular and busy but Owner had reserved in advance so we had no problem getting a table. i wore a blouse that used to be Owner's but which She has donated to me so is new to me, i think it looks lovely (you can decide for yourself from the picture below). As is now the norm Owner chose and ordered for the two of us, i do love how this is now just second nature. Just another example of how Owner exercises control over me in public and in private. Anyway, here i am modelling the blouse

me in my 'new' blouse

With February now over and March having begun i am also pleased to report that my performance rating for the month came in at 4.625 out of a maximum possible of 5, so i think i did reasonably well. Hopefully Owner is pleased with how i have been doing as her submissive wife.

That's about it. Oh, one final thing. Tonight, after i have prepared and cleared away dinner, brushed and dried Her hair and completed my chores, Owner has instructed me to fuck my pussy with one of Her larger dildo's...it's a hard life :)

Hello Sweden and Thoughts on Orgasm Denial and Sexual Pleasure

No, the blog post does not mean that Owner and i are away visiting Scandinavia, sadly...though we hope to be again soon. Instead, it reflects a curious change in visitor traffic to this blog.

Usually, these blog posts attract a pretty steady and fairly low volume of page views. Sometimes higher, sometimes lower, fluctuating a little depending on content and sometimes for no apparent reason at all. However, there has been a sudden and dramatic surge in views for some of my recent posts. We are talking more than three times the average page views the blog normally receives, albeit from an admittedly relatively low base. What is curious, however, is that the blogger analytics tells me that all these new views are coming from one country in particular....Sweden.

So, hej sverige jag och välkommen till den här bloggen (if that doesn't say 'hello Sweden and welcome to this blog' then blame google translate!)

In other news, we had our aircon installed in the flat yesterday, just in time for the heatwave in London to break. Still, Owner is especially delighted that She now has a cool sanctuary to hide out in whenever it gets too hot again. One of the first things that She said to me after it had been installed was that She:

'Did not want to find me standing in front of the aircon caressing my erect nipples in the cold breeze!'

Honestly, She knows me too well! Of course that was one of the first things that crossed my mind. It is true that i can sometimes be found idly caressing my nipples, i love to touch/be touched there. 

Talking of touching, each night before i drift off to sleep Owner caresses my my buttocks and pussy - ostensibly to 'check my temperature' - She always maintains that i have a cold backside. It is a lovely way to fall asleep, Her fingers touching and stroking my derriere. For my part i love to bury my face in Her chest, though of course nothing in the world beats those occasions when i am permitted to bury my tongue between Her wonderful cheeks.

The eagle eyed of you may also have noticed that it is now almost 100 days (98 at the time of writing to be precise) since i had my last orgasm. i have had just one orgasm to date this year. Last year i had four but the year before that i had no orgasms at all. i sincerely believe that being kept denied is good for me. In fact, i have grown so accustomed to expecting not to be allowed to orgasm that, on the very rare occasions when i am permitted to do so, any fleeting orgasmic high is tempered by feelings of  disappointment. Orgasmic denial (together with being kept in long-term chastity) is, to me at least, a sign of my devotion and complete submission to Owner. 

So strong, in fact is this sense of denial being manifestation of my love and total surrender to Her control that, even on the odd occasions when i am allowed out of chastity, it does not ever cross my mind to masturbate. To do so would feel like a betrayal. Owner is the centre of my world, the one to whom i have submitted completely and who controls all aspects of my life. Orgasmic denial is one of the ways in which i try to demonstrate my total submission to Her. My clit is Hers, not mine. 

When Owner chooses to make me cum it is because She decides this for me, it is never, ever sought by me. My default state has, over the years, come to be one of orgasmic denial. Left to my own devices i would never orgasm again, would remain locked forever. It would be a small sacrifice to make for the honour of demonstrating my eternal submission and surrender to Her.

To me, to be kept in a state of permanent orgasm denial for the rest of my life would be an honour. 

i have already learnt never to expect to be allowed to put my clitty inside of Owner again. It has been about a dozen years since that last happened. She has no need of it, Her toys, my face and my tongue provide for Her needs. My clitty has long since been sexually redundant. Even when Owner does make me orgasm my clit rarely plays any part. Owner learnt years ago that She could make me orgasm by beating my testicles - or labia. It fast became Her preferred, then only, way to make me ejaculate. It hurts, i howl. Like a slut She says. Nowadays when She beats and strikes them Owner stops before the pleasure overwhelms the pain, ensuring that i do not cum.

So my clit has become entirely redundant. It is already quite small, always has been. However, i now have a recurrent fantasy, a daydream, where Owner arranges to have it shrunk, shrunk down to the size of my little toe. A pointless, useless little nub (with a teeny, tiny cage over it). In my fantasy my testes/labia remain - suspended invitingly below my pointless clit for Owner to strike and beat at will. 

What then of pleasure? Do i not still crave pleasure? Of course i do but my pleasure centres have shifted. My nipples and my 'pussy' have become my primary sources of arousal. i will sit or stand and idly caress my tits like a slut, and as for my pussy - it loves to be stretched, craves to be opened up, loves to be fucked by Owner. i really have become a size whore.

But real pleasure? Real pleasure, true pleasure for me is not to be had through my own experience. Much as i may adore being fucked and fucked hard by Owner that to me is not real pleasure. No, real pleasure, the kind that really makes my heart and soul sing, is to be had when i can feel Her flesh quiver, Her muscles spasm, Her thighs clench tight as She climaxes with my tongue pleasuring Her anus. That is my personal heaven. My nirvana. One moment like that is more pleasurable, more exciting, more thrilling than any transient moment i might experience. To me, true pleasure is to be found in bringing Owner pleasure.

A Commercial Proposition

This little blog has now been going for the best part of twelve years. It is by no means the most widely read blog on the internet, but it does attract some great followers who occasionally comment and contribute and, in doing so, generally make my day. i would say that it has a small but oh so select following.

Anyway, where am i going with this? Well, Owner occasionally mentions that i really ought to find some ways to earn some additional income so that She can retire and not have to worry about work anymore.  However, despite us both being successful professionals, i don't bring in enough money to allow Her ambitions to be fulfilled. She teases me about why am i not rich and why is She still having to work? She is, i know, just teasing but i also know that She really would like to no longer have to work. We already have an arrangement whereby my salary effectively goes to Her with me receiving a small monthly allowance in return but She would like me to find a way to bring in some extra income. She doesn't mean for me to go and get another job, rather to see if there are ways that i could earn some extra money whilst still being at home where i belong. 

Accordingly, one of Her long-standing challenges to me is for me to look for other ways to bring in some additional money.  One such idea was by writing short femdom-themed stories (i have actually been writing a novella during lock down this year). Owner has dreams that i might one day become a successful writer. However, whilst i do enjoy writing, and i have written and published a few over the years, i am neither a good nor successful author. You can read my efforts to date if you don't believe me.

So intermittently my mind casts about for other ways to earn some extra money. One thing i have sometimes wondered was whether or not there was a way to commercialise some aspect of this blog? So, with that in mind imagine my pleasant surprise when, out of the blue, i was contacted last week via the blog by people asking if i wanted to write for them on a commercial basis. i was initially flattered and intrigued, whereas Owner was more sceptical and suspicious. Anyway, to cut to the chase it transpired that, yes, the offer was genuine. However, what they sought were paid for reviews of sex toys.

i wrote back thanking them but saying that what they were proposing did not really fit with what this blog was about as, although i do talk and write about very adult stuff it is about living as a submissive in a 24/7 FLR relationship. i only ever rarely write about sex toys. It is not really a blog about sex.

So anyway, my brief thought that maybe that could be a way of bringing in some extra money for Owner came to nothing and the blog will be continuing as it is. In the meantime, can i interest anyone in a 2021 Poppet Subslut calendar? :)

Update and Staying Put

Please accept my apologies for not having posted for a while. There have been a number of things going on recently (not all good) which have kept me away from the blog.

The first of these is that Owner has had a bit of a health scare and needs to have some minor surgery at the end of next week. Hopefully that will sort out the matter. However, it has caused us both some concern and She is understandably a bit stressed about the whole thing.

A more practical issue was that, along with half the known universe, i also got the email from blogger announcing that this was to be one of the blogs they were, in effect, wanting to close down as they were going to change their rules around adult content. As i am sure was also the case for many others this led to a small flurry of activity on my part as i started to create an alternative and more secure home for my blog. What spare time i had went into trying to learn a new programme and transfer across the content from this blog and build a new site on an unfamiliar platform.

i had just about got to a point where i thought it was all starting to look good, we liked the new layout etc that was to appear on the new site, when suddenly another email from blogger arrived to say they'd changed their minds. So, to cut a long story short this blog is remaining here where it is and i am going to archive the new site i created. It was, i guess, a learning experience if nothing else.

You will, however, be pleased to hear that Owner has suitably punished me for the infractions i detailed in the post before last, namely not thinking and ordering an alcoholic drink without Owners permission when we were in a bar in Dublin before i cancelled the order when i realised, and using ingredients that were past their use by date when cooking Owners dinner. For the first (drinking) misdemeanour Owner punished me with 100 over the knee bare-bottom spankings with one of Her hair brushes. For the second misdemeanour (the food) - adjudged by Her to be the more serious i have been banned from wearing any make-up or jewellery for the past two weeks. i really have felt quite naked without these and can't wait until next week when hopefully i will be permitted to wear them again. Below is a picture taken during my spanking