Bugger, Bursitis

It was all going so well. Our holiday may have been over but i was once again at home and happy keeping Owner's home clean and looking after Her.

There was even the prospect of receiving a beating as well as being electro tortured by Owner.  Her frozen shoulder is now fast 'thawing' and She advised me that She hoped to be able to resume caning, paddling and whipping me.

On Wednesday I had been instructed to fuck myself for five minutes (Owner set Her timer) with one of Her cocks whilst Owner looked on.

Fucking my pussy under supervision 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Owner had also advised that She would  be fucking me with Her huge tentacle dildo whilst I deep-throated one of Her cocks. I may be kept in chastity and in frustrated denial but Owner likes to ensure my holes remain loose and in good condition for fucking and deep-throating, like a true slut.

Anyway, like I say it was all going so well and then...disaster. My hip started to feel weird and painful and within a matter of hours I could barely sit or stand with any degree of comfort. The only pain-free position I could adopt was flat on my back.

Which is where I have remained.  Owner is taking great care of me as I apply heat treatment and pop anti-inflamatories to combat the bursitis in my hip. However, at present I can barely move save hobble to and from the bathroom on crutches (a legacy of the last time I had a problem with my leg). 

To round off my bad luck the cage of my chastity device split 😞.

 We had also been due to attend the theatre this weekend but sadly that is not going to be possible (I can't sit down). Hopefully my hip will soon heal. Until then there is not much I am able to do.

Stern Words For This Slut

On Sunday, after completing my outdoor challenge (see previous post), Owner took me for a few drinks in a local bar. It was lovely to go out, just the two of us, and spend some time together. Whilst we were there Owner used the occasion to also have a serious word with me. She noted how i had allowed my work-life balance to get out of hand and that it was not acceptable to Her and was also bad for me. She reminded me that She expects, as far as is practically possible, i am to be at home. That my purpose in life is to look after Her, entertain Her, serve and worship Her. 

i am not naturally a 'live to work person' but much more of a 'work to live' one, as are we both. i am, however, lucky in that i derive a lot of satisfaction from my job and have been able to have an influence in the sector i work in. However, as Owner reminded me. She did not choose someone to live with and to have as Her submissive based on what they do or achieve for work. Rather, it was based on my love for and devotion to Her, a love She reciprocates.

Owner made it clear to me that She expects me to get back to being the silly, slutty, submissive wife She desires.

To be completely honest, this is what i want as well. i have written before how my life with Owner fulfills me in ways that my work never could. i love and adore Her and want only to serve Her and submit to Her. i realise that i have allowed things to get out out of hand and that i need to get my life back into balance. Life with Owner should always come first. i have made changes but they will take a few weeks to become apparent due to the nature of speaking etc commitments previously entered into. Hopefully, however, Owner will soon start to notice that i am back home, at Her feet, where i belong and not gallivanting hither and thither giving presentations, lectures etc. 

Meanwhile, i had a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate to Owner that i am still Her naughty, obedient slut. i was tasked by Her with fucking myself with one of the large dildos for Her entertainment and amusement. So, on Tuesday night before i served dinner i found myself down on all fours at Her feet, my winter cleaning smock (the temperature has plummeted here) hitched up around my waist, lubricating my pussy with my spittle before pushing the dildo inside of me. It went in easily, buried balls deep inside my pussy, as i began to rhythmically fuck myself as Owner looked on. Occasionally i paused, withdrew the fake cock, fellated it and lubed it with my mouth before slipping it deep inside me and fucking myself again. This was repeated over and over.

All the while Owner watched, took some pictures and generally observed Her wife prostrate and fuck Herself at Her feet for Her amusement. She permitted me to fuck myself like this for a little over five minutes before calling a halt to proceedings. The whole episode left me feeling wonderfully aroused and deliciously frustrated. i was careful not to allow myself to get too excited and have an accident, it has been almost six months now since my last orgasm. i stopped when instructed, tidied up and then served dinner before continuing with my chores.

'Artistic' black and white image

You can see the original image below and see clearly that i am wearing a sexy combination of hold-up stockings and flip-flops! In my defence i don't currently have any slippers and my flats have fallen apart (and being an upstairs flats heels are out of the question). i also reckon that if people wear crocs as fashionable footwear, when these are essentially footwear designed to wear in hospital theatres, then why not wear stockings and flip-flops :)

Original image

Meanwhile, Owner has really hurt a muscle in Her shoulder and we are trying to get a diagnosis and treatment for Her as it is has left Her in fairly constant pain and discomfort these past few weeks. It also has meant that She has not been able to give Her slutty wife the beating i definitely deserve for having allowed my life with Her and my work to get out of balance.

A Productive But Chilled Weekend

Owner and i are enjoying a productive weekend but one that has also seen us both relax and chill-out together. The weekend started with me doing some housework and having the opportunity to imbibe a delicious glass of Owner's finest nectar.

Next we moved onto a period of intensive clothes rummaging to identify items to be donated to charity. i should explain a key difference between Owner and i. It is that i am a horder and Owner is not. Given half the chance i will hold onto anything and everything on the off-chance that it might, some day in the dim and distant future, be of use. Over the years Owner has successfully managed to ensure i get rid of nearly everything that is not essential to me, or more importantly, of use to Her. My books, records, ornaments and general bric-a-brac have all long gone to the great jumble sale in the sky [Edit by Owner - I would like to point out that your CDs are still all on display and the two metal candlesticks are also yours]. Other than one or two items of genuine sentimental value everything on display in our flat is Hers [Owner: this is a lie]. Yes, our female-led relationship extends to household items too :)

Anyway, back to clothing. Owner presented me with an ultimatum, namely to identify clothes that i don't wear that could be recycled as my side of the wardrobe was getting 'ridiculous'. It was hard going through things and pulling stuff out to get rid of, but i did as i was told and soon had a couple of piles of clothes and shoes to get rid of. Owner also did the same exercise (unlike me She regularly has big clear-outs). Between us we filled five large black bin bags full of clothes, shoes and bags to donate to charity. Hopefully, my wardrobe is now 'safe' for a few more months [Owner: I will be the judge of that].

i also did some baking. i love to bake for Owner but for various reasons have not done so for ages. It felt good to have my hands deep in dough again and the resultant biscuits were, according to Owner, delicious.

On returning Owner gave me a caning (postponed from the night before on account of Her feeling knackered from work). i was caned hard across my bottom whilst my chastised clit was adorned with twenty mini-clothes pegs. It was painful but my bottom felt delightfully 'hot' afterwards.

caned bottom and thighs

caged clit adorned with pegs

It is not all about pain and punishments i do sometimes get to experience some pleasure too. Earlier in the week, after i had done my outdoor challenge, Owner treated me by allowing me to fuck myself with one of Her dildo's under Her supervision. It was a rare pleasure and one i quickly started to enjoy. Luckily Owner was on hand to ensure that i did not enjoy it too much. i was a good 'gurl' and didn't even leak let alone get anywhere close to cumming. However, it did leave me feeling wonderfully aroused.

Then yesterday, Owner returned from the shops with some drinks for us to have at home (rum and coke for Her and cider for me) whilst we settled in and watched a movie together. The film we saw was a wonderful Danish production called Another Round about a group of middle-aged, male teachers who decide their work and relationships would be much improved if they spent all of their time drunk. It is fair to say their efforts end with mixed results. The film is superbly acted and is one of the greatest discourses on alcohol (good and bad) i have seen. It is well worth a watch.

Today, after completing my daily list of chores and my Spanish study (which incidentally i have been doing religiously everyday apart from on days when i was ill) Owner and i are booked to go the cinema to watch Aftersun which also promises to be good. 

i hope everyone else is having an equally enjoyable and productive weekend.

24/7 Female-Led/Femdom Reality vs Fantasy

Earlier this week i was lying on the floor in our lounge, knees bent, legs spread inserting a freshly fellated dildo into my pussy under Owner's watchful gaze. She had me fuck myself at Her feet like that for ten minutes (She timed me) whilst She read stuff on Her phone. As i lay there, thrusting the fake cock deep inside of me, taking it out to fellate it some more and then pushing back inside again as She remained disinterestedly focused on Her phone, a thought occurred to me. The thought was this. How lucky, how incredibly lucky i am that this passes for a kind of normal thing to do in Owner's home. 

Sometimes i get clamped, quite often i am caned and spanked, there are days when i will get sent outside to complete a challenge, all my meals are served in a dog bowl (sometimes it is placed on the floor), i often get to drink Owners golden nectar, occasionally i get to lick out Her anus. i have daily tasks and chores and once in a blue moon i might be made to cum. All of these i will generally write about and set down in this blog.

However, are these, my everyday lived experience of life in Female-led/Femdon relationship? Well yes and no. Somethings are constant, have become everyday examples of my submission to Owner, of Her control over me. The chores i do, the decisions i no longer make and that She makes for me, the routines i follow and so on. But my day, our life together is made-up of many, many more moments that rarely ever get set down on a page. Many are mundane. Cuddling as we watch a TV series together. Sharing ideas about things we might do together, although of course She ultimately decides. Then there is work, much of which is still done from home. Brief catch-ups between zoom meetings and deadlines.

Then there are the small dramas. The elderly father (mine) who needs help re-housing, the family bust-ups and reconciliations, the home improvement works, the boiler breakdowns and water leaks. The periods of personal crisis and ill-health. The acute anxiety Owner went through that saw her unable to work for a while. The time my back left me unable to walk for a few months. The years of struggle Owner has had with hormonal migraines, then the menopause, a frozen shoulder and worsening migraines that at times leave Her barely able to function.

All of these are just as much a part of our life together, of our shared experiences as Dominant and submissive, Mistress and housewife, Owner and Her whore. i tend not to write much or ever about them. But they too define who we are, have shaped us on this wonderful journey. And yes, it is a journey. New things get added, some things we once did fall into disuse. We grow, we change.

The most wonderful thing though is that each day, each week, each month and each year feels as fresh and exciting and full of joy and anticipation and desire as it did when we first got together. In fact, even more so. Our path, our journey has worked for us, it might not work for others. 

Owner is not a leather-clad, whip wielding sadist who rules over me with a rod of iron. For one thing She is someone who feels most comfortable in tracksuit bottoms and a hoodie. The only one in Her household who ever wears stockings, skirts and heels is me. When She canes me or spanks me She's usually in trainers or slippers. She also loves me deeply and it took a while for Her to Herself become comfortable with the idea of beating or caning me. Over time, She has come to enjoy if greatly, far more than me!

She controls me in many different ways, and she just instituted a new requirement that, apart from when i need to leave for work or get provisions from the shops, i need to submit a formal request in writing to Her asking permission to be allowed out the house unaccompanied by Her. To this end She asked me to create a form (She will often get me to come up with suggestions for Her), which i did and which was first used today when i sought permission to go and sunbathe in the park in the sun. i have copied the form below in case anyone is interested. To me it is a natural progression of the existing control She exerts over my life.

me in the park wearing my bunny-ear sunhat that Owner required i took after submitting my form to Her for approval to go unaccompanied

And the new blank form that i must fill in and submit to Her and get approved before i can go out the flat unaccompanied, unless for work or to go shopping for provisions.

And, yes. Tonight She will beat me and then cane me too as 'payment' for having been allowed to sunbathe at lunchtime. But then later, when chores etc have been done we will cuddle and watch TV and laugh and joke and chat and do all the things other couples do. And that is just as much a part of the reality of our relationship together as any of the other things i post on here.