A Wonderful Gift

i am extremely lucky in that there are many lovely people who follow this little blog who are kind enough to also leave comments. i genuinely do enjoy reading them all and regularly bring them to the attention of my Owner.

Sometimes a new person leaves a comment that piques my interest or inspires me to want to write about something in particular. One such person is Gr Herman who wanted to know more about my interest in piss, something he also enjoys.

Anyway,  long story short. After a brief correspondence Herman not only created his own delightful blog called Piss Maid in which he describes how his fascination with urine first started and how his wife indulges his interest every Monday.

Well,  it turns out that Herman is quite an artist too. He sent me this wonderful illustration of me in my cage being made to drink Herman's piss as he stands next to me wearing high heels. He wrote that he also imagined Owner watching him piss in my mouth via this funnel and tube before Herself handing me a glass of Her own urine to drink. The artwork he sent me is below (reprinted with his permission)

Owner and i both love the picture. We are currently in Spain visiting Her family but Owner has instructed me to get it printed and framed for Her when we return.

Herman has captured the likeness of me in my cage and the image of me in the act of drinking his piss, as he urinates into a funnel connected to my mouth, is both wonderful and quite thrilling.

What wonderful and talented readers this blog has! Thank you Herman from Owner and i.

'Oh.My.God. - We've Broken The Pet!'

The words in the title description are the exact same words uttered by Owner yesterday afternoon. The immediate cause was Her gifting me an incredibly intense orgasm, after fourteen months of total denial, and the affect that powerful release had on me. What follows is the tale of what happened in the hours and minutes leading up to that climactic eruption, and its aftermath.

As detailed in yesterday's post i started the weekend knowing that, for the first time in about a year, i would not be in chastity all weekend. At first i was worried lest even the slightest amount of stimulation to my clit, the touch of the fabric of my silk dressing gown for example, might trigger a runaway reaction. However, my fears went unfounded. Indeed, my clit barely stirred from its state of apparent hibernation.

The morning passed as it usually does every weekend. Saturday morning i did my Spanish studies, my exercises and my chores. Then i showered, got changed, did my make-up and then prepared lunch for Owner and i. After lunch i told to strip and was placed securely into my cage, where i remained whilst Owner busied Herself with other things. 

N.B. - whilst caged i am securely chained around my ankles, wrists and neck. In addition, i am also secured by chains attached to each of my nipple rings (via meat hooks) and also to the ring beneath my clit.  A heavy, solid- metal bell is also suspended from my nipple rings and a mini-cow bell from my collar. The bell suspended from my nipples stretches these, as too does the metal chain, and both bells have the affect of keeping me still as they ring when i move and Owner hates noises. To complete the 'look' i have a horse bit gag in my mouth which causes me to drool the entire time i am caged (hence the need for the small black bucket between my hands). As well as being secured at the wrists my hands are in while leather mitts. My hope is to one day be allowed to get an anal hook so that i can also be secured to that as well :)

secured in my under desk 'cage'

A little under an hour later i was released from my lock-up and was instructed to present myself for a caning and subsequent torture session. The caning was quite intense, Owner is much less concerned about striking me hard than She once was, and delivered a good caning across my buttocks and the backs of my thighs. As usual, i was instructed to count each stroke as it landed.

stripey bum and thighs

Caning completed i was told to go to the bedroom where i was to be tortured. i thought Owner would want to torture me with Her electric devices so i got them out in readiness. However, i was wrong. She walked into the bedroom clutching an array of hitting and tickling implements, ranging from a birch and cane through to the small carpet-beater style cane and a feather duster.

What followed was a sustained, measured physical assault on my clit and hanging bits. Starting slowly Owner gradually increased the pace and intensity, first tickling me all over before then striking me, gently at first and then harder and harder. It was not long before my dormant clit was fully aroused and swollen with excitement. At first i thought i might simply just explode, so long had it been since my last release and so susceptible i am to ejaculating when my testicles get struck hard. But i did not. 

Owner's onslaught was measured and calculating. She seemed to instinctively know how hard to hit, exactly when to stop and pause, when to 'calm me down' by striking the top of my clit, the swollen head, to prevent me from climaxing. Soon my whole body was quivering with pleasure. i felt light-headed and woozy, extremely aroused but not close to climaxing. Owner upped the ante further at one point, draping Her now moist panties over my face so that i breathed in the scent of Her own sex as She struck me. The whole experience was a physical and oral  overload. Then She stopped.

Squatting astride me, Her face looking down at my own, She grabbed two of Her vibrators and worked Her way up the length of my torso until Her pussy was positioned directly over my face. She then wriggled a bit further and sat back on Her haunches, so that Her anus winked invitingly open directly above my open mouth. i needed no further instruction and immediately started to lick and probe Her backside with my tongue as She in turn placed Her vibrator against Her clit and started to pleasure Herself.

With my whole body still fizzing and quivering from the wonderfully intense torturing of my own clit the reward of the taste of Her anus sent me into seventh heaven. My tongue probed as deep as it could, i grabbed Her hips and pulled Her tight against my face, my tongue swirling and twirling deep inside of Her as She brought Herself off.

When finally Owner clambered off me i thought that was it, that She had brought me to a state of frenzied excitement, then had used me for Her own pleasure but that that was it. My denied state would continue. i was wrong.

We cuddled for a while but soon Owner began to stroke and strike my clit again with Her selection of implements until it was once again fully hard and my head felt woozy and dizzy. Again She clambered astride of me but this time She positioned Herself facing away from me, presenting me with the glorious view of Her creamy white buttocks, inviting me to lift my head and spread them apart and devour Her anus once again. Which of course is what i did. She then shuffled backwards and lowered Her hips so that my face was fully smothered by Her. With me trapped beneath Her with my tongue inside Her delicious backside She grabbed my clit with Her hand and started to wank it hard. It wasn't long before my muffled voice could be heard pleading for permission to cum? 'Like a whore' She replied, and so i did, copiously and so intensely that i thought i might pass out.

i lay there, unable to move or speak for a full minute, so intense had my orgasm been. It had, quite literally, rendered me mute. Eventually i turned and nuzzled up to Owners' still heaving bosom and lay spent against Her. We lay like that for a good while until eventually getting up to shower etc.

Later that afternoon we watched a movie together and Owner offered for me to join Her in having an alcoholic drink She had bought for us (She some beer me some pink cider). The movie was called Blow The Man Down and is set in a small fishing community in Maine that is largely run by a group of older women. It is well worth a watch, but i digress. 

Anyway, the combination of the caging, the beating, the super intense orgasm and the couple of drinks proved far too much for little old me. By 5.30pm i had gone to bed (with permission) for a rest and instantly fell asleep, only emerging an hour later. This is what prompted Owner to remark; 'Oh.My.God - we've broken the pet!'.

Outdoor Challenge and Chastity Update

With apologies that this update is coming slightly late, i normally complete my outdoor challenges on the 16th of each month but this month's was a day late due to unforeseen circumstances. Owner was unwell so i stayed home in case i was needed. She is, happily, now recovered.

i was actually more nervous about this month's outdoor challenge than i have been of others recently. Whether it was because i still got to find out what i would be doing on the 16th and so had longer to 'think about it' or whether it was the actual nature of the challenge i don't know. Whatever the cause, there were definite butterflies this morning. 

So, what was the challenge i had to complete? It was to photograph myself in our local park wearing my Hideri Kanzaki maid's outfit from the anime Blend-S. It is an outfit i have worn in public before, on stage at a comic-con event as part of another challenge set by Owner. i have also roamed a hotel corridor in it. However, this is the first time i have worn it in a busy, local park.

So anyway, how did i get on? Well, you can judge for yourself below.

posing in the park

And below is a 'picture story' of my little outdoor adventure

all dressed-up and ready for the off

en route

nearing the park

near the 'staff yard' in the park

hello passing joggers

challenge completed and returning home

There were lots and lots of people out and about, jogging, walking dogs, pushing pushchairs etc even though it was fairly early (9am). i also got kerb crawled momentarily on the way home. All in all it was great fun. i had forgotten how short this dress is, my panties were quite clearly visible!

VVPL - Very Visible Panty Line! :)

Owner was delighted when i sent Her the resultant pictures. She replied saying that i did very well and that She loved the images, which made me proud to have pleased Her. i did, however, realise to my slight horror when i got back that i had forgotten to wear the head piece (the outfit should be topped with a pair of long, black, floppy, bunny ears). Ho hum.

But, back to panties, or more specifically, what lies inside of them. Yesterday i was required to roll Owners' chastity dice to see whether i would continue to be kept locked up 24/7 (as i have been all year - bar for cleaning). Well, the dice decided that i should remain locked for another month, but this time on weekdays only. At weekends i will have a free clitty! Obviously, that still means no touching on my part and certainly no masturbating! It is now well over 14 months since i last experienced any kind of orgasmic release [Edit - Owner remarked on reading this that She will be able to electro torture my clit!].

In other news, Owner has also instructed me to entertain Her by recreating Anita Ekberg's famous scene set in Rome's Trevi Fountain from the movie La Dolce Vita. Now, we obviously don't have a fountain at home and i don't think there is one nearby, nor are we close to Rome, so i may have to improvise :)

i hope you everyone is keeping well?

Out and About with Owner

Owner and i have had an enjoyable weekend. On Saturday Owner left home early to meet up with friends for lunch. She had arranged for me to meet up with Her later in the afternoon for some drinks. 

Before She left Her home i had already completed my exercises, Spanish studies and cleaned out the aquarium. Whilst She was gone i finished ironing and then swept and mopped all of the floors and made myself a lunch comprising the leftovers from the meal i had made the night before.

i also decided to paint my nails blue. However, after two disasters (the first time the clear top coat turned gloopy and the second i smudged an entire nail whilst putting on a hair band) i abandoned my attempt to go bright blue and instead opted for a metallic blue sheen. i then headed out to rendezvous with Owner at the allotted time.

The first pub we went to used to be a firm favourite of ours, the Ship Tavern. It is an old tavern tucked away behind Holborn station. It used to do a fine line in bags of roasted nuts. However, that was before the pandemic. This was our first visit since those times. Oh dear, the service was poor and, worse still, they had installed a TV for sports (bloody rugby) and no longer sold nuts! We finished our drinks and headed to another old haunt.

The Cittie of Yorke pub is actually a 1920s built mock Tudor design, however, it pulls if off with aplomb. The interior is fabulous and there are always tourists taking photos inside. The drinks are also very inexpensive. To Owner and my delight, it turns out they have also started to sell smoked nuts...huzzah! We settled down to drink, snack and people watch.

Owner decried the lack of talent on display amongst our fellow drinkers but we both had a lovely time. Here i am doing something strange with my hand!

with my metallic blue nails

Today we went to the Diva exhibition at the V&A. It was a great exhibition featuring lots of iconic women (and the odd fella and trans artist) from across the performing arts over the past couple of centuries. It was well worth the visit. 

deviant diva :)

When we returned home Owner ushered me into the bedroom where She paddled my bum and my bits before instructing me to do Her hair for Her

paddled plums

paddled bum

Earlier this morning, after completing my regular Spanish studies, exercises and chores, i popped a leg of lamb into the slow cooker. Nine hours later i think it should be done :). i will be serving it to Owner for dinner shortly.

i hope your weekend was as enjoyable as mine.

The week ahead promises to be an interesting one, what with an outdoor challenge, chastity dice and cage time to come. Stay tuned.

A Piss and More Special

In response to a recent blog post a follower called Gr Herman asked a great question. He wrote:

Why do we like to drink piss so much [?]

Herman is also someone who likes to drink urine, albeit in his case he likes to mix his wife's piss with his own semen then drink it hands-free from a bowl on the floor. i can't speak for Herman but i can try to explain why it is that i really love drinking Owner's golden nectar.

My interest/fascination with urine dates back to my very early teens. It was at the age when i was just about able, for the first time, to develop an erection but was still unable to produce semen. Instead, i played with myself until i pissed. i don't know if i am alone in that or if other men experienced any similar such early association between urine and pleasure before they developed the ability to ejaculate? When out fishing (again in my early teens) i would also sometimes deliberately wet myself to enjoy the sensation of warm urine soaking my jeans. i can still picture the damp patch with steam rising from the denim as i stood next to the pond. It was an enjoyable, albeit furtive activity. At about the same age i also discovered my Dad's collection of adult magazines some of which also featured images of women wetting themselves. My interest in piss was set as was the connection in my brain between urine and pleasure.

However, that does not explain the piss-drinking. i am not totally sure when i first developed a passion for drinking Owners' piss. i know that i tasted my own back in my childhood/teenage years out of curiosity. Later on in life i first came across the idea of piss drinking via porn later. However, it wasn't until i met Owner that i first started drinking piss/being pissed upon, and even then not immediately. It is not something i had ever done with anyone else in life.

With Owner it would be a good few years into our relationship before my drinking Her urine became a 'thing' between us. Indeed, it was not until i started writing short stories (which were essentially me writing many of my inner fantasies) in the early twenty teens that Owner got to read about my fantasies about piss. Through sharing drafts of such stories with Her to check She encountered my fascination with urine. It seemed to trigger in Her a realisation that this might be something She could incorporate into Her burgeoning domination of me. Indeed, a brief search back through my blog unearthed this blog post from 2014 when i write about how, after reading a short story i had written, Owner went on to say that:

She might incorporate my love of Her scent into aspects of our lives and routines. Ideas such as having me sniff Her used panties on a regular basis, be made to sit between and Her legs when She returns from work and just sniff Her sex, having Her wet Her panties and them me suck them dry or having to spray my face with a perfume diffuser filled with Her piss before going out.

That blog post dates from about 8 years into our relationship so, as you can see, piss drinking was not something i did from the outset, far from it. Instead it was something that resided initially in my imagination and which Owner then began to incorporate into Her domination of me when She learnt of my fantasy. In other words, my piss drinking started as a fantasy that Owner helped make a reality.

Initially i have to confess that i did not like the taste. It is like when you drink beer for the first time, not always a taste you immediately enjoy.  However, i soon acquired a taste for it.  There is a marked difference between morning piss and evening piss. In the morning Owner's urine is a deep, rich amber with a heady aroma whereas later in the day it is much lighter, almost clear, and almost unscented. i initially preferred the afternoon piss but was typically offered the morning variety by Her to drink. Slowly my taste buds became accustomed to the new beverage. i now much prefer drinking Owner's morning piss and this is typically what i am served.

i am lucky in that i get to consume Owner's piss most weeks. A large glassful has become quite a weekend ritual, typically served to me by Her at breakfast. i really love it and miss not having it on the odd weekends when none is provided. Owner usually serves me Her piss in a large glass goblet that i had custom-made for just such a purpose, it is engraved with the words 'piss slut'.

Sometimes Owner will also fill a glass flask with piss for me to take to the park and drink. In the past She also sprayed me with Her piss using an old perfume bottle. If i am really lucky Owner will serve me piss direct from Her body, squatting over me and pissing down onto my upturned face and into my open mouth - She even bought me a funnel gag for just such moments, so that She could fill the gag with Her offering. She stands above me as i lay between Her legs and swallow Her golden cascade.

Pissing on me and having me consume Her piss is something Owner also enjoys and, as i mentioned, was in many ways something that developed between us at Her initiative. i am not sure i would have ever have directly asked Her to piss on me but writing it down in a story that was clearly as much about my own fantasy gave Owner the idea to incorporate it into Her domination of me. Like an animal marking its territory my consuming Her piss reinforces Owner's control and ownership of me.

Whilst some might see being pissed upon by their partner, or drinking their piss, as a humiliating act i don't see it that way. To me it is an intimate act of love, an affirmation of control and submission. Were complete strangers to piss on me then yes, that would be humiliating, even if enjoyable, as too would be to have to walk amongst strangers/the general public whilst soaked by and smelling of piss. Humiliating but also quite arousing.

Drinking Owner's piss has become a regular ritual. i would love to do so even more frequently than i do, but of course that is out of my hands. i especially love it when Owner stands astride of me and empties Herself over my face and into my mouth. It is a huge submissive high to be pissed on like that, to feel and watch as the golden cascade drenches me, soaking my hair, my cheeks, my chest and fill my mouth. The anticipation when looking up, waiting for the first droplets to fall is wonderful. For Owner it reinforces Her dominant status in relation to me. Pissing on me, Her slut wife, is something She enjoys doing.

So, in summary, what started as a childhood/teenage fascination with piss and an association between piss and pleasure evolved into the regular consumption of Owner's piss and its use as a reinforcement of Her control and my submission. Her urine is something i have come to really, really love the taste of. My craving for Owner's piss has, i think, heightened since i have stopped being allowed to orgasm and so no longer get to consume my own semen as i once did. It is an oral treat that i happily drink whenever it is offered, which is most weeks.

In truth, i would love to be able to consume Owner's urine on an even more regular basis and perhaps also be set more 'extreme' tasks or challenges by Her that incorporate urine. Things such as being urinated on by Her outdoors, consuming Her golden nectar in bars or restaurants, wearing clothing outdoors that is sodden with Her piss or even being pissed on by strangers under Owner's supervision. Another dark fantasy would be to be to have Owner force me to drink litres of liquid and stand, fully dressed but denied use of the bathroom until i could hold out no more and wet myself, or have me do the same in a public place and have to walk home, knickers, shoes and trousers sodden. i have also long fantasised about being used as Owner's human toilet, Her living latrine.

This in turn brings me to another matter - WARNING - some readers may not want to read further as what follows deals with something some may consider repulsive. i refer to faecal matter - or shit. 

In addition to drinking Her piss i love, love, love worshiping and licking out Owner's anus. Her arsehole is actually the only part of Owner's body i am now permitted to penetrate, and then only with my tongue. Owner enjoys bringing Herself off whilst my tongue is probing deep inside Her anus. Inevitably, there is the odd occasion when my twirling tongue chances upon a tasty little nugget. Rather than be repelled my natural reaction is to work it into my mouth and to then swallow it. Why? Well i love the scent and taste of Her anus anyway so why not!

i am not talking here about Owner actually crapping in my mouth, i have no idea how i might react were that ever to happen - which i doubt. What i am referring to is the chance discovery of a small morsel or two of shit when i lick out Her anus. When that does happen i am happy to eat what i consider to be little treats. i am actually quite thrilled when this happens. As it is so rare an occurrence it is a wonderful little tasty surprise when it does.

i confess i have gone further in my head, have occasionally thought and fantasised about Owner defecating directly into my mouth as She would naturally into a toilet. i have written on here in tje past about such fantasies of mine, including this instance back in 2016. However, it is not something that has ever happened and i am doubtful it ever would. But then again, never say never and it is not something that, if it were to happen, would be a hard 'no' from me. As disgusting to some as this may sound i know i probably would consume such an offering were it to ever be served this way. It is, as i wrote back in 2016, an appealing thought the idea of being first smothered beneath Owners anus, lubricating it with my tongue and then having Her defecate straight into my mouth.

So there you have it. You now know things about me that you might never really have wanted to know! But if you have been a regular reader over the years there is nothing in what i have set out that i have not previously said. It is just this is the first time i have talked about drinking Owner's piss or consuming Her shit in such detail in a single article.

My thanks again go to Gr Herman for having prompted this post by posing the question he did. i would love to hear more about his and others experience with regard to this, albeit knowing it won't be to all readers tastes.

If any reader has other questions about this or any other subject please always feel free to flag them in a comment or email me direct about at poppetsubslut@gmail.com 

Thanks for reading. Cheers!

one of multiple examples of me drinking Owner's piss

A Relaxed Weekend

Owner and i enjoyed a relaxed weekend together. On Saturday, after completing my usual Spanish studies, exercises and domestic chores Owner ushered me into the bedroom where She administered a good maintenance spanking. First, using Her green rubber-backed leather paddle, She paddled my bottom

freshly spanked bottom

Then She had me roll over onto my back and spread my legs so She could cane my labia/testes. She had to grip one of my legs firmly between Her thighs to stop me squirming about as She struck my exposed bits

With a sore bum and aching plums i was then dispatched to prepare lunch for us both.

After washing and putting away the dishes Owner invited me to join Her in the lounge to watch some TV with Her. We ended up watching the film Infinity Pool which turned out to be an unexpected Femdom delight. The film might not be to everyone's taste and is a bit violent in places but the portayal of what becomes quite a merciless Femdom relationship is excellent. Owner and i greatly enjoyed watching it from our own, quite different, perspectives.

On Sunday i took Owner to go and see an exhibition at the British Musuem entitled Luxury and Power: Persia to Greece (i had previously been instructed to book some exhibitions to visit by Her, we are going to another one next Sunday). As a treat Owner took me for a pub lunch beforehand which was a lovely surprise.

The exhibition itself was good but busy. On returning home i then completed some more chores (hedge cutting then sweeping and mopping all floors), made dinner and then was again permitted to join Owner and watch some TV with Her.

All in all it was a thoroughly enjoyable weekend.

Notes from a Happy Place - Top Tips for a Successful FLR from Owner and i

The best thing that has ever happened to me in my life was getting an opportunity to know, live with, love and submit to Owner. i joke with Her that my life cleaves into two halves. The first half (which included my first marriage) being my life before meeting Her and the second, much happier and more fulfilled half which is my life since meeting Her. She has changed, improved and enhanced me and my life in so, so many ways. i love Her and always will and hope to be with Her until i draw my final breath.

What has made my life with Owner so much more fulfilling and rewarding, and what has really cemented our relationship as a couple, has been the fact that, from a very early stage, ours has been a Female-Led Relationship (FLR). Put simply, Owner is in charge and i submit to Her authority. Her control over me and my submission to Her extends to all aspects of our life. It is our lived 24/7 experience and has been for the best part of approaching 18 years. In that time it has evolved, strengthened and deepened and now encompasses everything from how Owner's flat is furnished and kept, my responsibility for all cleaning, cooking, washing etc, my finances, what i can or cannot purchase, what i eat and drink, whether i am allowed out, what i wear and all matters sexual. 

Our relationship did not get to the point it has overnight. It has developed over time and i am sure it will continue to grow and evolve. However, i wanted to try and take stock and set down what i think are the key things that make it work for us. A set of top tips if you like. It is important to say that what follows reflects what has worked well for Owner and i, they may not for others and there are many different types of FLR out there. This is simply what we think has ensured our own FLR has (and continues) to work well for us.

1 - Love and respect  ours is a very loving relationship and, although Owner's authority is absolute She is always interested in my views and respects me, Her lifetime partner and wife as do i Her, whilst also accepting Her domination and control over me.

2 - Communicate with each other Owner is my best friend and i am Hers. We talk freely and, if at times i am not sure how best to say something to Her, i write to Her. For instance, when i first asked Her if i might be allowed to submit to Her i did so in writing.

3 - Don't rush, an FLR is not built in a day our relationship has grown and evolved over many years. This has enabled us to gradually evolve, get accustomed to a changed dynamic (neither of us had been in such relationships before), and has ensured that my submission and Owners' control is much deeper, has more permanent roots. Our relationship is better able to weather the inevitable hiccups than i think would have been the case had we aimed for where we are now at the outset and then been disappointed by a likely inevitable failure. Take small steps, wait until those are embedded and become habitualised then extend further. We hope to continue to be developing and evolving and growing in our FLR for many, many more years to come.

4 - It is about what She wants quite early into our journey it is probably fair to say that Owner tried to provide me with the fantasy FLR that She thought i wanted from Her. There was a lot of emphasis on sexual play and Owner dressed in a manner that She thought was expected by me of Her i.e. stockings etc, which is not Her style of dress at all. Our initial foray was more about my own fantasy idea of being controlled by a beautiful dominant woman than Her idea of what She wanted in a submissive That changed as Owner grew in confidence and i educated myself to become a better submissive to Her. The stockings etc were quickly ditched and the emphasis placed firmly on what gave Her pleasure and enjoyment and what She wanted out of the relationship, which is how it should be. Owner would not be seen dead in a skirt or stockings these days. She dresses how She wants and not to appeal to any male fantasy idea of what a dominant woman might look like. She does, of course, still look just as beautiful. That is not to say that everything is solely about Owner. She does still treat me at times to things that She knows i will like but which She may be much more ambivalent about. But She does that now from a position of genuine authority and control rather than from trying to do something to please me because She thinks that is what i want from Her. Looking back, although at the time i described us as being an FLR couple i would say it was a few years before we both learnt how to genuinely become one, before the societal norms and expectations were shed and Owner stepped into a position of full control and i fully accepted Her authority.

5 - It is not simply about sex well of course sex plays a part but it is the icing on the FLR cake, it is not the cake itself. So much of our dynamic and my submission to Her involves nothing at all of an overtly sexual nature (by that i mean direct sexual pleasure/stimulation). It is much more a mental thing, a happiness, security and comfort even (on my part) that comes from Owner's control of me. It is an expression of Her love for me just as my submission to Her is a reflection of my love for Her. Absolutely there is a sexual element. For me that is the sublime pleasure i get from helping Her experience sexual release and satisfaction. My own sexual pleasure is now denied. That again is an example of something that did not happen overnight. It occurred gradually. Early on in our relationship i was denied permission to penetrate Owner with my clit, that then gradually evolved to only being allowed to climax through having my labia/testes spanked hard and, more recently, not being permitted to climax at all - it is now 14 months since my last orgasm.

6 - Submission and control extends to all aspects of life, again FLR is about much, much more than what happens in the bedroom. For us it now pretty much encompasses every aspect of my life outside of work (and i can't wait for the day when i no longer have to work and it can fully extend to every waking hour of my life). i have surrendered control over all aspects of my life to Owner, from money, to what i wear, what i eat and drink, what i write on social media (everything that appears on this blog is first checked by Owner, this is also true of my Facebook account), whether or not i am allowed out unaccompanied by Her etc, etc. My default is the expectation that i need Her permission for pretty much anything. Owner seeks my views and input to decisions but She decides, both for Herself and for me. Failure on my part to remember this is punished, and rightly so. This did not happen overnight, It took quite some time to get to the point we have now. Surrendering control of my money was (rightly) not an easy thing to do but i have no regrets about having done so. My life has improved dramatically in so many ways now that Owner controls me in the way She does. She is actually a very benign ruler, something we have discussed as not always being in my best interests! i hope that, overtime, She might also become more authoritarian with me but i also know that She is not by nature an austere dominatrix. But Her control continues to gradually extend and deepen as does Her readiness to enforce it, physically or by other means if needed. It will be interesting to see how things have evolved in another 18 years time!

7 - FLR is fun as well as being best friends Owner and i also make each laugh, a lot. Neither of us takes things too seriously and although we are both very serious about our relationship and how fundamental Her dominance and my submission is to it, that does not mean we cannot have fun together and enjoy each others company. Hers is not an austere prison regime and i am not Her slave. Neither of us take ourselves that seriously and there are many occasions when we have both ended up in fits of giggles in the middle of what was a supposedly serious moment.

8 - Time spent together is the best time we are each others best friend. Owner and i are that couple who are always together and we both greatly enjoy each others company. In bed, in the park or in the pub and everywhere in between there is no place i would rather be than with Her, and the feeling i know is mutual. i need Owners written permission to spend time away from Her outside of work, or for the purpose of running errands for Her, whereas She can and does spend time with whomsoever She pleases.

9 - Be open to try new things and don't be afraid of 'failure' there are things that have become important to Owner and i that did not start out that way. i do not naturally like pain (i am not a masochist) and Owner was initially reluctant to inflict it upon me. However, She discovered that beating me could be pleasurable and enjoyable for Her and i learnt to embrace and tolerate pain. Owner normally beats me each week, on occasions when that does not happen for some reason i now genuinely miss Her crop, paddle, whip or cane. More recently, Owner has discovered the fun to be had with electro-torture. We both discovered a shared passion for piss, mine for consuming Hers and Her for having me drink Her urine. My 'forced feminisation' rapidly escalated when it tapped into and released a deeply feminine side of me that i had long sought to suppress, it changed me forever. Other things didn't work as well. Contracts were initially written but soon abandoned, replaced instead by a long-term training regime.

10 - Celebrate and be proud of who you are as a couple the anniversary of  of our first ever meeting, when we then started dating and of our wedding are all important dates in our calendar which are celebrated each year without fail. i have been inked and pierced by Owner and i am proud of that, proud of the fact that my body has been indelibly marked as Hers. i am collared and glad to wear the symbol of my submission to Her. Owner has a key on a chain symbolic of my almost permanently locked in chastity status and Her broader Ownership of me which She regularly wears.

Over the period of our relationship there are also some things that i have learnt about myself, some of which came as something of a surprise, others i perhaps knew where there just never really acknowledged. These are (in no particular order);

• the less autonomy i have, the happier in myself i am
• i benefit from being given rules and routines to follow
• i am, by nature, both an exhibitionist and a slut and love to behave and be treated as such
  
• the feminine side of me is the 'real' me, the me that feels most natural and the one in which i am most at ease with myself
• being physically restrained is calming, comforting and a great way to clear my head
• i love, love, love serving Owner and feeling i am being of use to Her
  
• i enjoy cleaning, cooking and housework and learning useful new skills
  
• being thought of as a slutty, submissive wife is more validating than my professional career and gives me the most satisfaction in life
• discipline, structure, submission to Owner and routine helps me to become a better version of me
• pleasing and pleasuring Owner, making Her happy, makes me very happy
  
• i do not miss sex as i once knew and experienced it nor, surprisingly, do i miss being able to orgasm. In fact, i actually prefer to be kept in a state of permanent denial
• i adore drinking Owners' piss and licking out Her wonderful arse
• i look forward to being caned, paddled, spanked or whipped
• i hope to be known and 'seen' by others as Owner's submissive wife
• what to me is now 'normal' about how i live my life now would have seemed quite extreme or weird to me before i started down this FLR road, such is the personal journey i have been on
  
• i have now come to be a firm believer in female supremacy. Ironically, Owner does not share this view.

So anyway, this is a bit more about us, what makes us and me tick and our FLR relationship work as it does. i would love to hear if any of this resonates with other readers.