Deutsch, Dice, Dates and Denial

Owner and i have just returned from a lovely weekend in Cologne. It was a little break we both needed and greatly enjoyed as work has been quite stressful for us both of late for differing reasons and it was lovely to get away. i was also super lucky in that Owner permitted me to have a couple of drinks at Heathrow before the flight and then have some more on the Saturday in Cologne (although She had me back on soft drinks on the Sunday).

Neither of us have been to Cologne before, although we both really like Germany and have visited a number of other German cities in the past. Cologne did not disappoint and we had a very relaxing couple of days walking, sightseeing, drinking and sausage eating (me).

sunset over Cologne

As usual for the flight out and back i swapped out of my metal nano chastity device into the plastic Holy Trainer before clearing security. After that i swapped back into the metal device. On the return journey i discovered that Cologne has installed one of those full body scanners that you have to stand in front with your legs spread and your arms apart whilst it scans you for anything untoward. As i waited in line i wondered whether it would detect the plastic Holy Trainer device? i knew that 'normal' scanners do not but might this one? Owner went through first and then it was my turn. i stood and waited with my legs spread and was duly scanned. The result?....nothing. So far my chastity and airport security luck has held out and i have not yet been 'detected'. However, i am resigned to the inevitability that one day i will be and as we fly quite regularly that day could be next month or in a few years, who knows.

Anyway, on returning from Germany i was able to work a few days from home. That, of course, meant dice challenges. Yesterday was an indoor challenge and the dice determined that i should wear weighted nipple clamps for 15 minutes. Owner remarked a few months ago that my nipples have become less tolerant of pain and so i am trying to increase my pain thresholds by punishing them quite hard whenever i have to wear weighted nipple clamps. This time i loaded each nipple with 12oz (340g) of weights. To be able to suspend that weight for a full 15 minutes without sliding off requires the use of clamps with teeth that can hold on tight to your flesh rather than padded clamps which tend to slide off. i used the table cloth weights again as they have a serrated plastic grip that holds quite firm and 'bites'.

nipples under heavy tension

24 hours later and my nipples are still nice and sensitive from their ordeal. However, it is also an effective way of increasing my pain tolerance, which is what is needed. Incidentally, i also have a bit of a 'thing' about stretching my nipples, I'd love to have really big ones. But that is a whole other story.

Today's dice challenge was of a different order completely. Today i had to complete an outdoor challenge. The dice determined that i had to go outside and take a picture of my knickers on my head. i was wearing one of my new Victoria's Secret panties. Here i am in our street at 8.50am hoping that one of our neighbours doesn't suddenly appear and wonder what on earth i am doing!

down our street, panties on head and...ooh look, a chastity cage!

This Friday will see a little milestone for Owner and i in that it will have been 14 years exactly since we first ever met in person. We still re-visit the same restaurant we went to each year. It would take us another six months or so to properly 'get together' and about another 6-12 months after that before we started to tentatively explore developing a Female-led relationship. Since then we have continued to go from strength to strength despite occasional health issues and the odd setback along the way. We are still each others best friend and i love Her with all of my heart - i would, quite literally, follow Her anywhere or do anything for Her.

Talking of dates, this coming Saturday will also, barring anything unexpected, see me reach the half-way point of 2019 without having had a single orgasm. i have also been locked 24/7 in chastity for all except about a fortnight of that time. However, even for those brief periods when i am released know better than to try and pleasure myself. Being kept in denial like this is a wonderful and frustrating experience. i regularly feel very horny and am easily aroused and will often absent-mindedly caress my nipples. Part of me would love to be allowed to orgasm, both for the transitory pleasure of cumming itself but also for the opportunity to taste cum again - it's a taste i quite like and Owner used to feed it to me or make me lick it up after i ejaculated. However, another part of me wants to be kept like this, in a state of frustrated denial. That is an increasingly powerful yearning and one i never could have imagined ever wanting when Owner and i first started dating. The longer i am kept like this the stronger it builds. i know that in the past few years the breaking of a prolonged orgasm drought was always accompanied by a feeling of disappointment mixed in with the pleasure of the orgasm itself. Disappointment that i had actually cum and with that the attendant loss of that all consuming, frustrated arousal that had accompanied the period of denial and built steadily during it.

Increasingly i find that my desire to be kept denied is stronger than that of being permitted to cum. Of course i still love to be aroused, still yearn to have my testicles beaten and abused to the point where i can feel i am close to tipping over the edge to orgasm (these past few years i have only been permitted to orgasm from testicle spanking, paddling, slapping, flogging etc - my 'clit has not been permitted inside Owner for almost a decade) but now i don't actually want to cum. i want to be remain denied, frustrated. None of this is my decision to make of course, it is Owners and Hers alone. But i do love my prolonged state of frustrated denial, i love the fact that so far this year i have experienced the grand total of zero orgasms. Call me weird but i am hugely grateful to Her for having kept me this way. These days the only thing i find i miss about not having an orgasm is the taste of cum.

Clit in Bloom

My 48 hours of being unlocked and out of chastity is drawing to a close and i will soon be locked back into chastity once again until at least the 11th June when the chastity dice will be rolled again. It has been enjoyable being briefly let out and Owner used the opportunity to occasionally poke and prod my little squishy clitty and even to decorate if with a flower (see below) but that has been as far as things went. My clit was otherwise ignored and will be locked back up in a few hours time, leaving me to continue to wait and wonder when, or whether, i might be permitted to orgasm this year. It has now been almost six months at least since i last came. Denial, whether locked or not, has become the new normal for me and i confess to rather liking being kept this way.

my clitty enjoying the last of its second day unlocked

clit in bloom

Breast Torment (continued)

My poor titties really are being made to suffer this week, although as a consequence they are wonderfully sensitive to the touch at the moment. i worked from home on Monday and then again today (Wednesday) and each day Owner's dice determined that i endure a different type of breast torture. On Monday it resulted in me again being required to attached 10 min-pegs to each nipple/breast and keep them on for 20 minutes before removing. Then today i was required to attach weighted clamps to my nipples and wear these for fifteen minutes before removing them.

In case you are wondering what the clamps are that the weights are suspended from these are weighted plastic table cloth weights that have quite teeth grip so they are able to hang onto the flesh of my nipples quite well even when additional weights are suspended from them. You can see how my nipples were stretched by the weights hanging from them.

My nipples have been regularly abused over the years and one of the by-products of this is that over time they have become bigger. Both have been pierced and when i used to wear rings in each (unlike today when i only wear a ring in my right one) we experimented a bit with me wearing a weighted chain suspended between each nipple ring - so that they were kept under permanent tension. Unfortunately, it eventually caused a problem with one of my piercings and so we had to abandon the idea. On the plus side though the legacy of piercing and abuse means that both nipples are super sensitive and easily aroused, something i am sure that my chastised state also adds to. It is easy to make them hard and aroused and i adore Owner teasing and caressing them, She in-turn loves to torment them. i would actually love to have my nipples permanently stretched and enlarged but that is another story!

Incidentally, the other day Owner mentioned that She was thinking about having my right breast tattooed as well. She had my left breast tattoed shortly after we got married last year (it has the date of our wedding in Roman numerals and the word 'Uxor', meaning wife in Latin inked around it). She is thinking of something similar for my right breast. i am really excited at the prospect.

Today's Chastity Dice Outcome

After giving Owner a foot and back massage this afternoon it was time to roll the monthly chastity dice to see whether i would remain locked for another month or would be temporarily released. Well, the outcome was.......(drumroll)... i am to remain locked until next weekend when i will be released for two days then locked back up until at least the 11th June.

Owner was quick to point out the next weekend is Eurovision song contest weekend (always a high point in my year) and teased me that maybe my unlocked clitty could be decorated with some Eurovision flags? Could be an interesting weekend :)

Travels and Travails

Owner and i spent an enjoyable week in Spain staying with Her family. We visit quite frequently, normally at least two or three times a year but i realise that, in all the years of going, this was the first time i had been in chastity whilst visiting. Surprising perhaps as i have been in and out of chastity for the best part of twelve years or so now.

i also don't wear make-up or any of my more obvious femme clothing whilst i am there (it's about the only time i don't), though my knickers are always pretty and feminine ones. In the past this has led to some 'near misses' with Owner's mum, who has a habit of walking into the bedroom we stay in unannounced. The bedroom door cannot be locked and on more than one occasion i have almost been found out whilst getting dressed or undressed. However, the worst that could have happened would have been that she would find me in a pair of pretty panties. This time, however, i was locked in chastity as well which added an extra frisson of tension as i got dressed and undressed each day!

Incidentally, i am now well into my fifth month without having any form of orgasm and i have spent all but one week of those months locked up. Tomorrow, the 11th, will witness the monthly rolling of the chastity dice once more which in turn will determine whether or not i might be released temporarily from chastity or remain locked for at least another month more. i confess i am enjoying my extended period without orgasm as it means i am regularly to be found in a state of delicious frustrated arousal. Not everyone's cup of tea perhaps but it is mine.

Anyway, back to Spain. Unfortunately, Owner picked up a really nasty cold whilst we were there which in turn then morphed into something even more unpleasant when we returned. As a result i spent the end of this week being 'nurse' at home, albeit sadly without the uniform to go with it :). On the plus side this meant i worked from home which in turn meant having to complete a challenge each day. Yesterday's challenge was an outdoor one, to apply lipstick whilst stood by the bus stop. Todays' was an indoor one which required me to clamp my nipples, attach 20 mini-pegs to my chastised 'clitty' and then spank it 50 times.

You can see how i got on with each below;

Nipples clamped and 'clitty' with pegs attached

Administering 50 spanks to my clitty with a wooden spoon

Did you notice my super bright nails in the video? The pharmacist did when i was buying medication for Owner :)

Whilst Owner and i were away the tokens that She ordered in order to start the 'Rewards Scheme' She has devised (see previous post) were delivered. The scheme will officially start on Monday so i now have an extra thing to get excited about along with the penultimate episode of Game of Thrones!

Owners' Reward Scheme

As readers will have realised by now Owner is a great fan of weaving games into Her domination and control of me, for example the various dice games which determine whether and for how long i am in chastity and what challenges i am to undertake when working from home. In part, these are a product of Owner realising that these present an easier and less time-consuming (on Her part) way of controlling and dominating me. After all, as submissives we do love to be constantly reminded of our place which in turn puts a lot of unintentional demands on our dominant partners, when the whole point is to make their lives easier. These games provide a light-touch and non-time consuming way of Owner to maintain control over me for minimum effort on Her part once the game itself has been devised. It also adds a further element of fun and play into our FLR relationship - which, although we both take very seriously, we also like to have fun with as well.

With that in mind, and as a device to get me to raise my game and achieve the standard Owner expects as i undertake my daily chores/tasks about the flat Owner has introduced a new rewards scheme. Think of it as a kinky version of air miles. In return for me completing certain tasks to Her satisfaction i will be rewarded with a set number of tokens - each task is worth a specific number of these. These tokens can then, in turn, be traded in for different 'rewards' - some 'rewards' costs more tokens than others. The game is a trial to see how it goes but Owner has put considerable thought into it and i can't wait to start playing.

Owner has ordered the tokens online which i will be rewarded with and which can be banked in a little piggy bank. These are the tokens She found

One of the Tokens

The tokens will be awarded when i consistently maintain the standards Owner expects when i undertake my daily or weekly chores, for example keeping the fridge clean and organised, ensuring each room of the flat is kept free of all clutter, ensuring our little garden looks tidy and beautiful at all times with no dying plants or weeds. Owner will undertake regular inspections and will award tokens when standards have been met. i should stress that this is not Her rewarding me for completing tasks i should be doing anyway, rather that i complete them to a higher standard and more consistently than is sometimes the case.

Once i have earnt a sufficient number of tokens i may then exchange these for a specific reward of Owners' devising. Each reward has its own price i.e. i would need to spend more tokens in order to buy the reward from Her. Owners' initial reward reward price list is as follows - as you can see there are some great rewards available to buy

Drink a glass of Owner's wee to enjoy with a meal at home (Price = 5 tokens) Watch a TV series episode wearing Owner's used panties as a mask (Price = 5 tokens) Take Owner's used panties to work to sniff during the day (Price = 10 tokens) Take Owner's wee in a little bottle and drink in public (Price = 10 tokens) Sniff Owner's panties for 15 minutes while she is wearing them and working on Her laptop (Price = 15 tokens) Suck Owner's 'cock' for 15 minutes (Price = 15 tokens) Take Owner's dildo to a public place and fellate it (Price = 15 tokens)

Breast Torment

After the lovely long Easter break today it was back to work again for Owner and i, except that i was able to work from home today rather than have to go into the office, unlike Her. However, one of the requirements of me working from home is that on such days i roll the dice to determine what activity/challenge i will have to complete. Today's involved a degree of breast torment/torture, specifically for me to attach 10 mini pegs to each breasts and then wear them for 20 minutes before removing them. Here are a couple of pictures of me with the pegs in place:

with pegs attached

And then here is what my poor little breasts looked like afterwards

my breasts with the marks from the pegs clearly visible

As you can see it left my boobies a little sore and it was all i could do to stop myself from caressing them for the rest of the day - i adore it when my inflamed nipples are stroked and the pegs left me with nipples like bullets!

Working from home also meant that i got to wear the new blouse that Owner bought for me on our shopping trip yesterday.

i was very lucky as Owner also bought me a super cute denim dungaree skirt which i can't wait to wear on a 'dress down Friday'. i am extremely lucky.

Spring in a Beautiful London Garden

Yesterday Owner and i visited the Chelsea Physic Garden in London. It is the capital's oldest garden, established in 1673, and specialises in plants and herbs with medicinal qualities. We have previously visited the garden once before, but that was in late Autumn. It was lovely to go in Spring with many of the plants in full bloom. It is a beautiful, tranquil, romantic space and when inside it is hard to imagine that you are surrounded by the hubbub of a busy global city.

The weather in London has been unseasonably warm and so the garden had plenty of visitors admiring its blooms but Owner and i still managed to find a quite spot to capture another type of bloom entirely which goes by the Latin name poppetus slutus :)

Oops my blouse is undone!

Meanwhile, Owner has also been turning Her creative attention to a new game that She might introduce for me, She is still mulling the details but in essence the game is this. As i love to drink Her pee and She enjoys having me drink it the game will take the form of a drinking game. i will need to earn 'credits' at the bar by completing various tasks etc and will be rewarded by a glass or two of Her amber nectar. i can't wait to read the details when She has finished.

Back to today, it is another bank holiday and so after we have both caught up on the latest episode of Game of Thrones (surely Jon Snow must die soon) we are heading off to our favourite shopping centre for a bit of retail therapy and, given it is close to a park, maybe my blouse might come undone again!

Fun and Games

Owner an i have been having a very enjoyable Easter weekend (and it is not even half way through) despite the un-seasonal heatwave that has descended upon these parts. We often go away for Easter but not this year. This year we are at home and it has been really lovely to instead spend it in London.We have a series of walks/visits planned for the four-day holiday. Yesterday we went for a lovely walk along the River Thames to Teddington Lock and back to Richmond followed by the consumption of some delicious ice-cream.

This morning, we retired back to bed after breakfast before heading out later. Owner used the opportunity of neither of us having to get ready for work to instead indulge in some bed time fun with yours truly. Owner began by using Her newly purchased nipple suction devices on one of my nipples (the non-pierced one).  i always adore having my nipples played with and caressed and so it was lovely to have one of them left swollen and extra aroused from the new toy.

However, it was not long before Owner switched Her attention to more traditional activities, specifically spanking and then caning my chastised clit. Owner paid great attention to my exposed 'labia', beating them slowly and methodically until turning Her attention to my backside

caned bottom

With my bottom warmed up ad my clitty throbbing in its cage Owner then gagged me with Her used panties before using my tongue, in combination with Her vibrator, for Her pleasure. By Her own admission Owner likes to fuck Herself on my face like this and i adore being used this way, slowly suffocated as my tongue probes and explores Her sex and Her anus whilst Se bring Herself to orgasm. Owner tastes and smells divine and i could spend hours happily smothered by Her like this.

Today, however, Owner had more treats in store. Once She had satisfied Herself with my tongue and Her toy She turned Her attention to my 'pussy'. First, She moistened Her fingers by fucking Her gloved hand with my mouth before proceeding to fuck my pussy. Owner instructed me to fuck myself against Her hand whilst She held it steady. i soon had a pleasurable rhythm going, bouncing back and forth, feeling Her hand inside me. Each time i ground myself down on Her wrist Owner used Her free had to spank my hanging 'fruit'. Honestly, it was wonderful and i was soon quite excited. However, before proceedings could get too far and risk any sort of accident on my part Owner brought the session to an end with instructions to go and make Her a cup of tea. It was a wonderful start to the day.

Later we set out to do a short walk along an old dis-used railway line in North London that we used to do quite frequently until we moved south of the river a few years ago. It was a great walk to do and we ended up frequenting a pub that was once an old haunt of ours and which we have not visited for years - which was lovely. Anyway, here is a gratuitous shot of me on our walk flashing my bra like a tart

i hope everyone else is having as enjoyable a weekend as we are.

Hi Ho Silver Dildo

i was super lucky today. As i was working from home it meant that i had my first opportunity to roll the newly updated working from home dice to determine which task or challenge i would need to complete during the day. Today must have been my lucky day as the dice roll deetermined that i was to 'fuck myself with the silver dildo'. Owner couldn't believe how lucky i was when she saw what the dice landed on and neither could i! The dice could so easily have landed on a different face, one requiring me to wear various weighted clamps about my anatomy for example. But instead i got to have the pleasure offucking my pussy with Owners' favourite dildo, how lucky was i!

i undertook the challenge eagerly just after dressing for work and it goes without saying that it was fun to do. i did, however, stop before things got too exciting. i still don't know when or if i might be permitted to orgasm this year and though i was a lucky little slut in that i got to experience the pleasure of a dildo in my pussy (which i absolutely love), it was a suitably brief encounter to make sure i did not risk having any 'accidents'.

such a tiny clit compared with Owners' silver dildo

Such a whore for cock, and i loved sucking the dildo clean afterwards! The experience left me super frustratingly aroused for the rest of the day with no possibility to satiate my craving for release. Being left to stew in my own sexual frustration is one of the great joys of life and i am eternally greatful to Owner for providing me with the opportunity to experience it again today. Just thinking about is enough to make my nipples stiffen! Part of Owner's expectations of me as Her wife are that i 'behave like a whore when requested'. i aspire to become the dirtiest slut i can.

Owner and i are really looking forwad to the coming Easter break. We're spending it in London and hoping to do some walks and visit a few old haunts we haven't been to in a while. Who knows, with the weather set fair there may even be an opportunity to slip on a summer dress or skirt outside somewhere.