Sometimes It Is The Little Things

And, no this is not a blog post about my clitty (this in direct response to Owner when She saw the title) - though with a title like this one has it could easily be about my little clit 😉.

But, no. This is not a post about my clit, or any other part of my anatomy for that matter. No, this is a post about the day-to-day reality of living as Owners' 24/7 submissive wife. Regular readers will know that for many, many years now Owner and i have been living together as a Femdom/FLR, call it what you will, couple. This is not something we dabble in at weekends or on the odd day here and there. We try to make my submission to Her an everyday lived reality that gets incorporated into all aspects of our lives.

Like everyone there are days when other factors (work, health issues, general stress, family visits etc, etc) have an impact on our lives and, more specifically how i manifest my submission to Owner. But generally every day is filled with acts and routines each of which are a sign of my submission to and Owners control over me. Then there are also the 'big events', moments that occur less frequently, once or twice a week or once a month, and so on where the nature of our relationship is reinforced more dramatically. For example, my weekly beatings/canings fall into such a category, as too would the public challenges i am asked to perform.

Then again there are the rules i live by which have become so ingrained over the years as to have become second nature. For example to ask for permission to be allowed to purchase something, to post something on social media, to not expect to choose what i will eat when we go to a restaurant etc etc. There are a multitude of such rules that have gradually just become a part of my/our daily lived reality.

But for me the real icing on the cake are the little moments that occur the tiny incidental moments of authority or control. These are what make this submissive heart sing. The sudden demand for 'get me that' or 'do this' or 'do that'. These are often book-ended with a 'can you' or 'please' but to me they are most appreciated when they are not, when they are uttered as a simple and direct order or instruction. These are the moments that i love and appreciate the most as they truly remind me not just of whom i am but also that i have an Owner who enjoys, and treats as second nature, Her authority over me.

Owner is no harridan, She does not harshly punish me and only chastises me on occasion (and when it will always have been warranted). Life under Her rule is, in many respects, i suspect no different to countless millions of other couples who would never consider themselves to be in a Femdom relationship. For ours to be able to work day-in and day-out in the way it does the first thing that went out of the window was the fantasy Femdom that, all too depressingly, so often seems to be the only kind portrayed in most magazines, websites or films that claim to depict such relationships. i suspect such portrayals probably put off many women from the outset, sadly depriving them of the benefits and opportunities such a relationship can provide. To any readers who do have such a relationship of a 24/7 basis then i take my hat off to you, for us we could just never imagine how it could work, quite aside from the fact that Owner is much more of a hoodie and tracksuit bottoms girl than a whip-wielding leather or rubber clad-one. She does wield Her whip, but She does wearing trainers not skirts and high-heels. In fact, i am literally the only one who wears heels, skirts and stockings in Her house.

i am, however, rambling so i will draw this to a close. i guess all i wanted to say really was that sometimes (often actually) it is the small, everyday examples of Owner's control over me and my happy submission to Her that give me the greatest happiness. To be told by Her what to do or what not to do truly does make my submissive heart sing.

i leave you with a gratuitous tit shot from this evening. In this case my little tits, clamped as i prepared to wash-up after dinner. Owner had me wear the clamps for a full hour. It is safe to say my tits are now positively 'glowing' and really quite sensitive.

Owner Has Control

'What are you doing looking at that?' Owner remarked casually this morning as i was studying a particularly pretty sheer, lace, boned corset on Pinterest. 'Go and make me a coffee'. It was an everyday example of how Owner can and does control me and what She expects of me, to stop something immediately and get something for Her that She might need. It was an unremarkable event in its own right but it did give me the idea for this blog entry. Namely, control and the level of control Owner has come to exercise over me.

Take a recent night out at a restaurant for example. The waiter came over and presented us both with the menu. i looked at it but did so knowing full well that my actions were completely pointless, the waiter might just as well have handed a single menu to Owner. When we go out She chooses what i will eat and, more recently, what i will drink. Again, another example of the level of control She now wields over my life.

Or take yesterday. i received an email from one of (in my view) the best retailers specialising in bras for small breasts - a shop called Little Women. The email was promoting a flash Bank Holiday sale and they had a lovely bra in my size (38AA). i asked Owner if i might purchase it to which She replied that 'No' i might not and reminded me that i already had a number of bras (which is true). Again, another example of Her control. i am not permitted to purchase any clothes of any sort without Her expression permission.

When we first started our FLR/Femdom journey all those years ago i used to spend hours browsing blogs and forums or reading books looking for examples of how subs submitted to their Dommes and how, in Femdom relationships they had handed over control to their partner. There were quite a few examples but most centred on sex and had much less to say about day to day control and that was what i was really interested in. We live a 24/7 lifestyle 365 days a year. Ours is not a relationship that comprises of a few 'scenes' or 'play' episodes and then carries on as 'normal'. We live as we do with Owner in complete control every hour of everyday. That is not to say that there are not moments when, say for reasons of health or unexpected circumstance, i need to do something or decide on something that would normally be left to Owner. But these are the exceptional moments, not the rule.

Equally, Owner does not govern our relationship like some over-bearing dictator. Like any couple we discuss many things it's just that when it comes down to the decision, She decides. Owner regularly consults meabout things and equally it is sometimes me that puts forward an idea for Her to consider. Ultimately, however, the decision is Hers.

Neither did we get to where we are overnight. Owners' control of my life has been a gradual process which has taken many years to develop and strengthen. Some areas have not been easy and it has taken quite a while to mentally adjust (on my part) but all, i repeat, all are 100% consensual. There is a real danger in any relationship (not simply one where one partner is the Dominant one) for a relationship to become abusive. That is not what we are about and is not what any relationship should be about. That is abuse, plain and simple and should always be regarded as such. However, it is possible to develop a completely consensual relationship where one partner is in full control of the other and where the other willingly submits to that control, indeed relishes it.

i believe our relationship is one that has got close to achieving an almost total level of control, domination and submission that is practicable and manageable on a 24/7 and 365 days a year basis. There are still further ways it could deepen, but as i said, ours is a journey and we still (hopefully) have many, many years of life ahead of us to strengthen our bond further.

So, what does 'control and submission' look like in or relationship?

Finance 

• Owner controls this. My salary is paid direct into a joint account we have. From that i am then given a monthly £100 allowance for sundry expenses i.e. coffees etc. i may use the joint account to pay for groceries, and other shared items. Outside this i am  not permitted to make independent purchases
• i do have my own separate savings which i still make monthly payments into

Clothing, Meals and Drinks 

• Owner controls all aspects of this. 
• i am not permitted to buy clothes that She has not approved the purchase of nor may i wear anything She does not approve of
• When eating out Owner decides what i will eat and drink

Our Flat

• Owner determines how this is decorated and how it 'looks' and how it is to be maintained and cleaned
• i no longer have any possessions in the flat. Everything that was once 'mine' has been disposed of except one or two sentimental items

Travel/Holidays and Other 'Big Ticket' Items i.e. New Bathroom/Kitchen 

• Owner decides where and when we are going and whether and what new large expenditure is needed

Social Media

• Owner restricts my use of Facebook - i am permitted to post a maximum of 2 posts a week which She must approve of
• Owner edits and vets all of my blog entries

Developments Goals

• Owner sets development goals for me for areas in which i need to improve or skills i need to learn. For example, in the past i have been sent on courses to learn massage techniques, pedicures, flower arranging, sewing and jewellery making amongst others (i have certificates in a number of these!)

Sex

• i am not permitted to make any sexual advances to Owner - only She may initiate sex.
• my body is to be used for Owners' pleasure only
• i am not allowed to orgasm unless permitted 

My Body 

• Owner designs the tattoos that i have which symbolise aspects of our relationship
• Owner encourages me to maintain my body to ensure it remains attractive to Her
• Owner decides how i 'look' and what i may and may not do to 'change' how i look

In return for the above it is expected that i will undertake all of the following:

Housework

• i am responsible for preparing all meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner) - including Owners' lunch for work and washing-up afterwards
• i a responsible for cleaning the flat and have a daily 'rota' of tasks
• i do all the laundry and the ironing
• i am responsible for maintaining the outside of the flat, putting out the bins and looking after the plants
• i am responsible for ensuring the cupboards/fridge are stocked and that expired foods are disposed of
• i am responsible for looking after our pet fish [EDIT by Owner - like that is a massive chore!]

Act as Owners' Assistant 

• i am encouraged to be Owners' PA - to make bookings for events etc She would like to see and check arrangements
• i escort Owner to and from the station when She goes to and returns from work (the latter only if i am working from home)
• i carry Owner's bags
• i am responsible for ensuring Owners' mobile is charged overnight
• i am Her hairdresser
• i am responsible for providing massages/pedicures etc on request
• i am responsible Her work bag is packed with the items needed that day 
• i am responsible for checking that Her trains are running on time and checking the weather forecast so She knows what to wear

My Appearance and Behaviour

• Owner expects me to look pretty for Her. She permits and encourages my feminisation albeit within certain limits 
• Owner expects me to behave like a slut when requested but also to look elegant at times
• Owner expects me to do whatever i am told

So this is how we currently function as a couple, with Owner very much in control of nearly all aspects of my life outside of work.


It would be really interesting to hear how other couples in similar relationships have developed and what areas and to what extent one exercises control over the other.

The View From The Foothills

Sometimes it is only when you look back that you see how far you have travelled. It is certainly the case that with Owner and i, and specifically with the nature of our Female-led relationship and my submission to Her, we have indeed journeyed a long way.

Anyone who has followed this little blog of ours over the years will know by now that our story began just over twelve years ago when we met each other for the first time online. We were both emerging out of divorces and looking for new friends and companions. Neither of us was looking for romance. After getting to know one another in cyberspace we met for the first time in May 2005 at Bond Street tube station and went for lunch to a pizza restaurant, we still go to that same restaurant on the same day every year. For months we were 'just friends' until one day in October that same year Owner, bored of waiting, kissed me in London's Charing Cross station. We have been together ever since.

However, at first ours was very vanilla relationship. That changed when i nervously wrote Owner a letter inviting Owner to move in with me and asking to be allowed to submit to Her and for Her to dominate me (or words to that affect). To my delight She said yes.

Those first few years we played a lot and tried many different approaches before we found an approach that worked for us as a couple whereby i could truly began to fully submit to Owner. In those same years we also started to experiment with 'forced feminisation'. Once opened that particular Pandora proved impossible to go back into its box, and i am eternally thankful to Owner that She took my 'unlocked' femininity in Her stride.

We are now in a place where i live my life in a way that i could never have dreamt would be possible all those years ago and we do so in a way that is not a game that we dip in and out of, we live this 24/7 365 days a year. Owner is not your fantasy dominant wielding a whip and wearing heels. She is most likely to be found at home in a pair of tracksuit bottoms and slippers and spending Her time reading or researching something or other whilst i try to busy myself around the flat. If there was a live webcam of us it would most likely be as thrilling as watching paint dry much of the time, we live much as i imagine many other couples do, except that Owner is 100% in charge.

So what, you might ask, does that mean? Well, in case you are reading this blog looking for ideas of how you too could submit to your better half and what such a relationship might practically consist of (as we both spent years researching ourselves online and in forums when we first set out) then here are some examples of what my submission to Owner and Her domination of me looks like on a daily basis;

• i prepare all our meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner), i bake and i try to offer Owner meal choices - incidentally Owner is a great cook and She does occasionally cook 
• i am responsible for all grocery and household shopping and for ensuring we are fully provisioned and keep a track of what needs using/replacing (i do not always get this right and am punished if and when i cock-up)
• i do all the household cleaning (i have a daily rota), clothes washing and ironing etc
• i am encouraged to learn new and practical skills and sometimes get sent on courses to learn - for examples so far courses i have completed have included massage, manicure, flower arranging, knitting etc
• the flat is decorated etc entirely according to Owners taste, we disposed of the things i once owned and i no longer have any possessions
• i may only purchase clothes that Owner approves of, must seek Her approval for what i can wear on weekdays and She chooses what i wear at weekends
• Owner controls my finances. i still have my own bank account but need Her permission to use that bank card, instead i have a separate account in which my monthly allowance of £100 is transferred - this is to cover my monthly costs (minus travel which is not included)
• i have no say in what i eat when we go out, Owner chooses my meals for me and will tell me whether or not i am permitted an alcoholic drink
• my social media access is restricted to stop me time wasting
• i am encouraged to use my free time constructively i.e. to learn new skills, practice my Spanish (Owner is Spanish) etc
• i must never under any circumstances initiate sex, my role is that of Owners sex toy to be used if and when She chooses.
• Owner and i last had 'tradional' i.e. me penetrating Her sex, over eight years ago. She can and does penetrate me and is in control of whether or not i am permitted to orgasm. i last orgasmed over 8 months ago and am regularly locked in chastity, this year i have been locked without release since the 10th January.
• i have been collared for most of our time together, i wear a metal 'public' collar all day (including at work) and at home also wear a leather collar and cuffs connected by a chain.
• Owner has supported my feminisation and i have been allowed to become increasingly feminine over the years. i now wear make-up daily (including to work) my wardrobe is entirely made-up of women's clothes and i am allowed to wear a bra, including a padded bra, on certain days
• i have a 'smock uniform' that i am expected to wear at home when cleaning, when i work from home i dress like a slightly saucy female secretary and can dress more illiberally for 'dress down Fridays' when i work from home. i am now accustomed to taking deliveries, talking to our neighbour etc wearing stockings and skirts (whether they are or not is another matter!)
• Owner makes all decisions. She decides where and when we go on holiday, what furniture we need, what we will do for the weekend etc. She does, however, expect and encourage me to provide Her with suggestions but the actual decision is Hers alone.

So, as you can see, there are many and varied ways in which i submit to Owner and She dominates me. i am Her housewife and Her sex toy. ours is not a Femdom relationship we dip in and out of, it IS our relationship and we live it everyday. Yes, there are times when things slip-up or when life gets in the way, but i would say we have got to a point where Her domination and my submission is the norm and it covers all aspects of our life together.

None of this would be possible were it not for the fact that Owner and i are best friends and love each other deeply. Her domination and my submission is built from an already strong relationship where we talk and share and communicate openly with each other. It has strong foundations from which we are building a strong Femdom/FLR frame.

So, why have i entitled this post 'The View From The Foothills'? Because, ours is a journey and we keep evolving, strengthening and deepening Owners domination of me and my submission to Her. i hope, and we strive, to keep strenghtening it further. As a professional trainer in real life Owner knows that i can sometimes get carried away and have unrealistic hopes/fantasies about what might be possible for us. Her style is gradual, to slowly, incrementally change and increase so that i normalise and get used to a new reality before the screw tightens a little further. She is an expert and highly adept at knowing how to have me sustainably submit completely to Her in a way that becomes embedded and lasts. We have, i hope many, many more years of growth and development still ahead of us, there are beautiful mountain peaks i would one day long to scale, we have come a long way but there is much fun to be had on the path ahead.

Busy and Slutty and Working to the 'Plan'

i really am delighted at how Owner has taken me in hand to ensure i am properly trained as Her wife. i recognise that this is a developing and long-term project which requires an ability on my part to demonstrate to Owners satisfaction my continuous commitment to my learning and development in the knowledge that, the further i progress the more challenging, but also rewarding it will become.

Owner and i have been together for just over eight and a half years now. For about eight of those eight and a half years i have been Her submissive partner, and ours has been a Femdom/FLR relationship - we started out vanilla. However, it is also true to say we have both spent a lot of time 'learning the ropes' of our respective roles and i most certainly could and should have been more focused, disciplined and attentive to Her needs.  i had and still have plenty of room for improvement, in particular, to challenge, address and correct some of my patterns of behaviour and push me further, and further into becoming the life partner and submissive Owner deserves. However, over these past few months i believe we have both been making progress towards achieving this outcome whilst, of course, at the same time ensuring that we continue to have fun and enjoy, love and cherish our lives together. Becoming Owners wife and commencing Owners training plan has, i think, started to generate some improvements in my performance and deepened my submission to Her - i'll explain why.

When She took me as Her wife Owner also made it clear that She shared similar aspirations to me - namely that i submit myself more deeply to Her as Her wife and that She in turn exercise greater control over me. However, Owner made it clear that it was up to me to demonstrate to Her that i genuinely wanted to learn, develop, change and progress towards becoming a wife She could be proud of. That wasn't to say that if, somehow or for some reason, i lapsed or we just continued our relationship as we had been before that Owner would no longer love and cherish me. We already had and have a wonderful relationship that is full of fun, love and companionship. However, we both want to deepen my submission to Owner and progress further, much further my role as Her wife and Her position of authority and control.

As well as recognising that i needed to demonstrate to Her that i could still grow and submit myself to Her further Owner also recognised that the changes in attitude, behaviour and approach required of and desired in me would take time if they were to prove lasting and sustained. Accordingly, Owner has established a long-term mechanism whereby each stage in my future development will be 'revealed' incrementally to me at such a time as i have proven to Her that my commitment to develop and progress is both genuine and sustained.  This, in essence was the genesis of what She described as Her 'Plin, Plan, Plon' and which i have just recently commenced Phase II of, having demonstrated to Her satisfaction that i could achieve and sustain the objectives She set out for me in Phase I (objectives which i need to continue delivering ad-infinitum).

The good news though is that i am making and continuing to make progress and demonstrate to Owner that i am indeed capable of further learning, development and progression as Her submissive wife. Some components of the Plan may seem unusual. For instance, learning Spanish. Languages have never been my forte but i have tried off and on and to learn Owners mother tongue, albeit with very limited success before.

We both know though that, whilst we currently live in London, that may not always be the case and Owner should never be in a position where She feels in any way restricted, by a lack of linguistic ability on my part, in where She may wish for us to live in the future. Accordingly, learning the language of Her birth is an important goal for me to achieve. Realistically, i know this will always prove a challenge but progress, albeit somewhat glacial at times, has been noted by Her and Her family which gives me hope that one day i might make Her proud of my efforts.

In terms of domestic work and routine this is entirely my responsibility from morning until night. Owner can, and sometimes does, chose to assist but the working assumption is that any and all cleaning, cooking, tidying, ironing, maintenance, repairs, etc, etc - in short all housework and household tasks and chores are my sole responsibility. In many respects this has been true for a good number of years but the difference now is that everything is to be done to Owners standards, not my own, and everything is to look neat, tidy and spotless at all times. In truth, i enjoy doing housework - the challenge was in re-calibrating my own perception/idea of what 'clean and tidy' look like, but i think i'm finally getting there!

In terms of Owners wider control over me and my own autonomy the pendulum is gradually swinging ever deeper into Owners territory. For years now all my clothes purchases have had first to be approved by Owner and any expenditure by me over a certain level approved by Her. More recently Owner, has introduced exercise regimes, controls if and whether i am permitted alcohol to drink, approves or disapproves what clothes i am permitted to wear that day, has established a set of longer-term tasks and additional skills i am to study and acquire (giving manicures being the most recent) and now expects to always consult with first Her and secure Her approval/consent before i participate in or undertake any activities that would involve me/my time in a manner not related to my service to Her. In addition, we both recognised that i could and should be making more constructive use of any 'free time' and i am now expected to ensure that i fill this constructively through study, additional chore/project completion or attending to Owner. All these are very welcome developments and mark, i think, a notable increase in the degree of control Owner now exerts over me.

At the same time as increasing Her control Owner has continued to push and develop my exhibitionist whore side. Whilst i have become much more shameless  than i once was (as has been documented over the period of this blog) there are still too many instances in which nerves and shyness have got the better of me. Owner continues to work on and challenge me though so that maybe one day i could honestly say i had truly become the complete exhibitionist whore i aspire to be. Meanwhile, Owner treats and regards me as Her fucktoy with my body being used purely for Her enjoyment, pleasure and amusement, not my own. This has actually been the case for most of our relationship, it is a state we both enjoy and, paradoxically, is one that brings me sustained pleasure and joy.

This is how we live our lives together, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. It is a version of Femdom/FLR call it what you will that works for us that we both genuinely enjoy and which enriches our lives and ever deepens our relationship. It can be hard work at times but it is also a huge lot of fun and very rewarding. i genuinely believe that over the course of our relationship i have seen Owner grow, develop and become more confident and assertive. This process has accelerated over the past few months and is a joy to behold and experience at first hand. At the same time, i also feel that i am now on a path of accelerated development as Owners wife. i believe i am becoming more useful and practical to Her, better at serving and meeting Her needs, keeping Her home as She would like whilst further relinquishing and transferring to Owner control over how i live my life.

i am the happiest i have ever been at any time and Owner assures me that She is too. i just hope that i can continue to further learn, develop and make Owner proud.

This has been a rather long post, much longer than i had first intended but i wanted to paint a little portrait of our lives, if only to share my own happiness. In the meantime, and more in keeping with my usual posts, here are some pictures of me up a ladder changing a light bulb

out with the old bulb and in with the new

that should do it

and let there be light

well i did say i was an exhibitionist!

and a short video of me keeping my pussy 'in shape'

The New Order

It is now coming to the end of the first week of my new routine following the receipt of Owners new instructions (see previous post). So far things seem to be going reasonably well. i've restricted my weekday internet access to a maximum of one hour in the evening and have instead been trying to use my time more constructively by baking,cooking and cleaning. Each weekday morning i have also had my nipples clamped in the japanese clover clamps for a period of about half an hour which has left them deliciously sensitive during the day (i also think they're also slightly bigger than they were at the start of the week as well).

Yesterday, Owner administered a more intensive (220 strokes) caning and combined it with some intense nipple torture involving a combination of pulling andtwisting, the application of clamps, pegs, weights and also the chopstick nipple clamps which left a marked indentation in my nipples for the remainder of the evening. Owner also caned my clit hard and masturbated me to the point of orgasm before returning to caning my clit. This She repeated a number of times before graciously allowing me to orgasm, then pushing my face down into my mess to lick up afterwards.

Today i need to make a start on developing my recipe database, start studying Spanish and perform a little show for Owner. i am certainly pleased with my new regime and am greatly enjoying serving Owner and submitting further to Her. Ours has been a gradual development of our 24/7 Femdom relationship but we are still continuing to strenghten and deepen it. It is proving to be a wonderful journey and i am indebted to Owner for helping me to learn and develop along the way.