6, Is A Magic Number

Tomorrow marks six months since i was last permitted an orgasm, it is probably the longest i have gone without cumming since i was in my early teens - three decades ago. How do i feel? i can honestly say that i have never felt happier, hornier or more thrilled.

This morning Owner woke me by spanking my full and heavy 'labia' whilst my clit remained safely and tightly locked up in its little cage. i adore having my bits spanked this way and was soon very excited, arching my back and spreading my thighs apart to provide Owner easier access (She is still very limited in movement due to Her frozen shoulder and i know Her treating me to such a spanking was not physically easy for Her). i was extremely thankful and grateful to receive such a wonderful spanking. By the time She dismissed me to go and prepare breakfast i was aching and throbbing most wonderfully in my loins and i know i probably will be for the rest of the day.

As stated in my last post i have now been continuously locked in my new tiny chastity device for a month. The combination of being locked up and having not been permitted to cum for six months is such an indescribably wonderfully exciting and arousing sensation. i also think it is making me a much better wife for Owner. i hope i am kept in such a state for many, many more months.

On a completely different subject, Owner permitted me to buy a new dress from my allowance the other day. Owner chose it for me after seeing it in the sales in an online shop called Yumi that we have bought items from previously and really recommend. What do you think?

It is great quality.

We're off to the cinema later today something we're really looking forward it as we haven't been for ages. The combination of my bad back in the autumn and then Owners ongoing issue with Her shoulder meant that comfortably sitting for long periods was not something we were able to do until quite recently. My back is now fully recovered, i even re-started my butt and abs workout regimen a few weeks ago to try and get back in shape. i am currently 148lbs and want to get back down to about 140lbs. Owners recovery is a much slower and more drawn out process but She is definitely no worse and Her shoulder is less painful but She has secondary problems with muscles in Her back and neck and is still far from recovered.

Since Owner started having problems with Her shoulder i have been giving Her daily massages to compliment the professional massages She receives once a week, i also now wash, dry and brush Her hair for Her. i love doing all these things and this morning (after my spanking) Owner remarked what a good and attentive wife i was. Her compliment made me want to burst with joy. i vowed that when She is fully recovered i will continue to offer Her daily massages and do Her hair for Her. i love doing them and, to be honest, i feel bad that i wasn't doing this before as they are exactly the sorts of things Owner ought to expect me to do for Her anyway. i am eager to incorporate providing these services to Owner into my usual domestic duties.

i remarked to Owner this morning that i have never felt happier in my own skin than i do now and how i only ever want to spend time with Her. i often get comments on this blog saying how lucky i am. They are spot on, i truly am the luckiest person in the world.

Busy and Slutty and Working to the 'Plan'

i really am delighted at how Owner has taken me in hand to ensure i am properly trained as Her wife. i recognise that this is a developing and long-term project which requires an ability on my part to demonstrate to Owners satisfaction my continuous commitment to my learning and development in the knowledge that, the further i progress the more challenging, but also rewarding it will become.

Owner and i have been together for just over eight and a half years now. For about eight of those eight and a half years i have been Her submissive partner, and ours has been a Femdom/FLR relationship - we started out vanilla. However, it is also true to say we have both spent a lot of time 'learning the ropes' of our respective roles and i most certainly could and should have been more focused, disciplined and attentive to Her needs.  i had and still have plenty of room for improvement, in particular, to challenge, address and correct some of my patterns of behaviour and push me further, and further into becoming the life partner and submissive Owner deserves. However, over these past few months i believe we have both been making progress towards achieving this outcome whilst, of course, at the same time ensuring that we continue to have fun and enjoy, love and cherish our lives together. Becoming Owners wife and commencing Owners training plan has, i think, started to generate some improvements in my performance and deepened my submission to Her - i'll explain why.

When She took me as Her wife Owner also made it clear that She shared similar aspirations to me - namely that i submit myself more deeply to Her as Her wife and that She in turn exercise greater control over me. However, Owner made it clear that it was up to me to demonstrate to Her that i genuinely wanted to learn, develop, change and progress towards becoming a wife She could be proud of. That wasn't to say that if, somehow or for some reason, i lapsed or we just continued our relationship as we had been before that Owner would no longer love and cherish me. We already had and have a wonderful relationship that is full of fun, love and companionship. However, we both want to deepen my submission to Owner and progress further, much further my role as Her wife and Her position of authority and control.

As well as recognising that i needed to demonstrate to Her that i could still grow and submit myself to Her further Owner also recognised that the changes in attitude, behaviour and approach required of and desired in me would take time if they were to prove lasting and sustained. Accordingly, Owner has established a long-term mechanism whereby each stage in my future development will be 'revealed' incrementally to me at such a time as i have proven to Her that my commitment to develop and progress is both genuine and sustained.  This, in essence was the genesis of what She described as Her 'Plin, Plan, Plon' and which i have just recently commenced Phase II of, having demonstrated to Her satisfaction that i could achieve and sustain the objectives She set out for me in Phase I (objectives which i need to continue delivering ad-infinitum).

The good news though is that i am making and continuing to make progress and demonstrate to Owner that i am indeed capable of further learning, development and progression as Her submissive wife. Some components of the Plan may seem unusual. For instance, learning Spanish. Languages have never been my forte but i have tried off and on and to learn Owners mother tongue, albeit with very limited success before.

We both know though that, whilst we currently live in London, that may not always be the case and Owner should never be in a position where She feels in any way restricted, by a lack of linguistic ability on my part, in where She may wish for us to live in the future. Accordingly, learning the language of Her birth is an important goal for me to achieve. Realistically, i know this will always prove a challenge but progress, albeit somewhat glacial at times, has been noted by Her and Her family which gives me hope that one day i might make Her proud of my efforts.

In terms of domestic work and routine this is entirely my responsibility from morning until night. Owner can, and sometimes does, chose to assist but the working assumption is that any and all cleaning, cooking, tidying, ironing, maintenance, repairs, etc, etc - in short all housework and household tasks and chores are my sole responsibility. In many respects this has been true for a good number of years but the difference now is that everything is to be done to Owners standards, not my own, and everything is to look neat, tidy and spotless at all times. In truth, i enjoy doing housework - the challenge was in re-calibrating my own perception/idea of what 'clean and tidy' look like, but i think i'm finally getting there!

In terms of Owners wider control over me and my own autonomy the pendulum is gradually swinging ever deeper into Owners territory. For years now all my clothes purchases have had first to be approved by Owner and any expenditure by me over a certain level approved by Her. More recently Owner, has introduced exercise regimes, controls if and whether i am permitted alcohol to drink, approves or disapproves what clothes i am permitted to wear that day, has established a set of longer-term tasks and additional skills i am to study and acquire (giving manicures being the most recent) and now expects to always consult with first Her and secure Her approval/consent before i participate in or undertake any activities that would involve me/my time in a manner not related to my service to Her. In addition, we both recognised that i could and should be making more constructive use of any 'free time' and i am now expected to ensure that i fill this constructively through study, additional chore/project completion or attending to Owner. All these are very welcome developments and mark, i think, a notable increase in the degree of control Owner now exerts over me.

At the same time as increasing Her control Owner has continued to push and develop my exhibitionist whore side. Whilst i have become much more shameless  than i once was (as has been documented over the period of this blog) there are still too many instances in which nerves and shyness have got the better of me. Owner continues to work on and challenge me though so that maybe one day i could honestly say i had truly become the complete exhibitionist whore i aspire to be. Meanwhile, Owner treats and regards me as Her fucktoy with my body being used purely for Her enjoyment, pleasure and amusement, not my own. This has actually been the case for most of our relationship, it is a state we both enjoy and, paradoxically, is one that brings me sustained pleasure and joy.

This is how we live our lives together, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. It is a version of Femdom/FLR call it what you will that works for us that we both genuinely enjoy and which enriches our lives and ever deepens our relationship. It can be hard work at times but it is also a huge lot of fun and very rewarding. i genuinely believe that over the course of our relationship i have seen Owner grow, develop and become more confident and assertive. This process has accelerated over the past few months and is a joy to behold and experience at first hand. At the same time, i also feel that i am now on a path of accelerated development as Owners wife. i believe i am becoming more useful and practical to Her, better at serving and meeting Her needs, keeping Her home as She would like whilst further relinquishing and transferring to Owner control over how i live my life.

i am the happiest i have ever been at any time and Owner assures me that She is too. i just hope that i can continue to further learn, develop and make Owner proud.

This has been a rather long post, much longer than i had first intended but i wanted to paint a little portrait of our lives, if only to share my own happiness. In the meantime, and more in keeping with my usual posts, here are some pictures of me up a ladder changing a light bulb

out with the old bulb and in with the new

that should do it

and let there be light

well i did say i was an exhibitionist!

and a short video of me keeping my pussy 'in shape'

Phase 1 of Development - Outcome

This evening Owner sent me through the following, namely the results of Her assessment of my progress over these past three months in achieving the learning outcomes She had  set out in the 'Plin, Plan, Plon' back at the start of August.

Yippee, Owner has assessed that i have passed. i am delighted and thrilled and even received this certificate from Her

What a wonderful day. This means that Owner will now add some additional areas of development to be incorporated into the plan. i must demonstrate my ability to achieve/deliver these as well as maintain my current progress if i am to continue to develop and progress further. i really am thrilled and delighted and cannot wait to see what Owner will add to help further and deepen my development.

This has rounded off what has been a wonderful day as earlier on Owner also permitted me to lick Her wonderful derriere whilst She twice brought Herself to orgasm from a combination of Her vibrator and my tongue. All the while i was kept in my chastised state, though Owner did caress my titties and spank my clitty to ensure that i was left fully and deliciously aroused but denied.

Thank you Owner, i am so pleased to have been able to demonstrate to you and to myself that i can develop and progress towards becoming the wife you deserve. i promise to commit to continuing to give of my best, to learn, work, study and strive to ensure that i achieve whatever aspirations you may have of me for phase 2 of your 'Plin, Plan, Plon'.

Plans a Plenty

At the start of this year i alluded to something that Owner and i had planned and which we were both very excited about. Well, fast forward seven months and these plans are now fairly well advanced (albeit not everything has been sorted yet).

i have a gorgeous dress chosen by Owner, a very pretty veil and will hopefully soon be taking delivery of the shoes to go with the dress - again expertly chosen by Owner. Meanwhile, Owner has chosen Her outfit.  Yes, you've guessed it - Owner and i are getting 'married'. i say 'married' as we have both been there and done that once before in different relationships. This time, however, i will be having the honour of becoming Owners wife and of accepting and wearing Her ring. It won't be a properly legal wedding - as i say we have both been there and done that before - but it does have all of the emotional investment and commitment in it that one would expect of a wedding. The planning of it also seems to have taken as long as if it were a 'proper' wedding! We have a photographer booked and will be heading off on honeymoon together afterwards. The actual 'ceremony' will be taking place on the occasion of our eighth anniversary as partners/lovers.

i am really thrilled and excited at the prospect of being Owners bride - it will most definitely be the happiest day of my life. What has surprised us both though is how much effort still needs to go into planning such an event, even when it is as small scale as ours is. Simple things, like trying to get a white, as opposed to an ivory, wedding dress and matching white shoes has proven to be much more complicated and time consuming than expected. Owner has invested hours and hours of research into finding outfits and rings etc for the two of us, searching out photographers and the like.

i just can't wait for the 'big day' to come around - but it is still a couple of months off. Owner keeps saying that She regards me as Her wife already and sometimes refers to me as such but i can't wait to be 'married' to Her. To be by Owners side, all dressed up to the nines and trying to make Her proud of Her little slutty wife as i read out my vows to Her will be, for me, the best moment of my life.

Owner, meanwhile has some plans of Her own. i don't know the detail only that i have been told to expect some significant changes. Owner asked me for some ideas as to how i might improve and change aspects of my behaviour and performance and i have submitted these to Her. However, as to the detail of what is contained within what She describes as Her 'Plin, plan, plon' - one of the things i adore about Owner is that She can be as silly as i can be - i have no idea. i guess i will just have to wait and see.

Meanwhile, last night we shared a wonderful evening together. As has become the norm for when i am working from home i greeted Her at the train station and walked Her back home. Then before dinner Owner administered a spanking and the a caning to my derriere. Before commencing Owner had me fellate the 8inch strapon She was wearing and She paused on occasion to have me fellate it again and to attach clamps to my nipples. Caning finished Owner then switched Her strapon onto vibrate mode and proceeded to fuck my pussy with it until She orgasmed and then instructed me to masturbate my own un-chastised clitty and 'cum like a whore'...which i did :)

What A Difference A Year Makes

It seems strange to think that only just over a year ago i could barely walk more than a few yards and as a result 90% of the little daily routines that Owner and i had grown accustomed to me doing for Her were just impossible to complete. Out went the cleaning, out went the massages, out went the regular canings in fact out went pretty much everything we had slowly developed over the period of our Femdom relationship as i became almost wholly dependent upon Her as i was essentially unable to walk, bend or sit.

Well that was just over one year ago and a lot has happened in the past year. Thanks to the 'miracle' of pilates i gradually regained the use of an 'almost' totally normal back. We travelled (a lot) and we moved house but many of the routines that i had established and grown accustomed to remained undone as we were both very cautious about what i did and did not do. However, in these past few months i am pleased to say that things are now almost, almost back to where we were forced to abandon them by my temporary incapacity. i now perform daily cleaning duties and tasks and have resumed full responsibility for keeping the flat looking as Owner would like. Owners is again now receiving massages and pedicures, i am back locked-up essentially full-time and the canings and other forms of discipline have returned. Over a year ago we were both 'used' to a caning involving me receiving just over 200 strokes - after first being warmed-up with Owners hand and a flogger and/or paddle. When i say 200 strokes i don't mean stand back and run at the victim kind of strikes but still they were pretty hard and the first 100 were administered with Owners stiff cane and the remainder with Her very flexible 'whippy' one. It took quite some time to build me up to being able to take that number and the sudden loss of practice had quite an impact. However, we are now back over the 120 a caning mark (tonight's total) so hopefully well on the way to get back to the 200+ mark.

In fact about the only thing that continued to develop and progress over the time since my back went was my femming. i am now (perhaps overly) confident about wearing full make-up to work and completely women's attire without worrying, have had my ears pierced. i have also recently started wearing my collar to work too, including to a recent work conference. What with that and being photographed/videoed by Owner and becoming much, much more of the exhibitionist i always fantasised about i can no longer try to claim to be shy - though i still maintain that essentially i am.

Owner and i have also recently started discussing further ways that She and i would like me and our relationship to develop and evolve which, no doubt will appear hear over time - well we hope they will. But tonight as i was bent over the sofa, mouth gagged, hands secured behind my back, nipples clamped hard, clitty safely locked, derriere glowing hot and sore from its caning whilst my hips eagerly bounced up and down as Owner instructed me to fuck the dildo She had thrust into my pussy harder and harder still to show Her what a slut i am...as i was doing that and then later again as i was cleaning the bathroom i was reminded of quite how wonderful my life with my Owner is and what an eventful year/14 months we have had and how grateful i am to Her for all of the care, love and devotion She showed me (and continues to show me) and how i can't wait for our lives to continue to evolve together. i never really say it enough but thank you Owner, quite simply you are my world.