Challenge, Punishment and Weekly Tasks Overhaul

My wonderful Owner has determined that it is time to refresh and update all of my weekly tasks and maintenance punishments as well as my monthly outdoor challenge. Doing so will help me with my development through; the further removal of my inhibitions, embracing being publicly humiliated, boosting my ability to accept and endure pain and being treated by Owner as the slut that i am.

i am really excited at the changes that Owner has instigated, starting from this week, and i hope to show Her what an obedient, pain enduring, piss drinking, exhibitionist little slut i truly am. i hope that these new requirements and expectations of me will help with my continued training, development and evolution.

The first of the changes is that, in addition to my weekly maintenance disciplining using a crop, whip, paddle, cane etc i can also expect to be routinely electrocuted every Friday at the same time. Owner has advised me that She will be increasing the severity and intensity of the weekly maintenance punishments that She administers to me and combining these with electrocuting me.

Owner has also updated the set of weekly tasks that i have to complete (they are randomly selected each week). They now also include tasks such as being seen in public (our local park) with the words SLUT written on my face, being face-fucked by Her, extended corner time (45 mins) whilst naked and clamped on my nipples, wearing Her used knickers on my over my head in the park, drinking Her piss in the street etc, etc.

This week Owner observed me fellating Her newest dildo for 5 minutes then on Friday i will be working from home wearing just a corset.

fellating Owners new dildo

Regrettably i was unable to fully deep-throat the dildo as we had only just eaten dinner. For those that have never tried to deep-throat a cock my top tip is to try and avoid doing so if you have just eaten or else it may be more than cock you end up gagging on :)

The final set of cards that Owner updated were the monthly outdoor challenge cards. Regular readers will know that on the 16th of each month i have to roll two dice, one that decides a location and the second an outfit to wear. i then have to pose in said outfit and location and provide photographic evidence to Owner. They are fun to do and have helped me to learn to become more comfortable and confident about dressing or behaving sluttily in public, a key component of my continued development as Owners submissive slut.

However, after a few years with the same possible combination of outcomes Owner decided it was time for a refresh. Accordingly, She has loaded a completely new set of locations to the dice and also changed the requirements for the outfit to be worn. Now, with one exception, She has taken a more thematic approach leaving it down to me to interpret and implement Her instruction in a way that meets with Her approval. This new outdoor challenge regime will kick-off on the 16th December then repeat on the same day of the month thereon after.

The new locations added to the dice are as follows:

• the cafe in our local park
• inside the local supermarket
• outside the cafe at the railway station
• at the local Docklands Light Railway station
• at a bus stop about 10/15 minutes walk away (in an area i have never previously completed such challenges in)
• by the roadside under a railway bridge leading to a large new housing development

All of these locations, including the road under the railway bridge, have one thing in common. They are very well used and frequented by many, many people. In short, i am likely to always have an audience for my challenges.

In terms of the outfits that i will have to wear, the second dice will decide whether it is:

• the cheerleader outfit i wore at Halloween (minus the fake blood)

or one of the following options which will be for me to interpret on the day:

• corset and jeans
• office attire (formal)
• pretty in pink 
• mini skirt and hooded top
• shorts and bikini top

i am already nervously anticipating what December 16th might bring? Buying groceries in winter wearing a bikini top and shorts, 'cheering' on commuters, touting for custom in mini skirt?? What interesting times lie ahead!

In other news, yesterday Owner took me out to dinner after work followed by attending a wonderful lecture by Professor Alice Roberts at the Adelphi Theatre in London. Professor Roberts was promoting her latest book 'Domination'  (no not that type of domination) whose central thesis is that, the Roman Empire actually morphed into and became the Christian church. It was an interesting, well researched and compelling lecture.

Lastly, the temperatures have finally dropped in London (it is 4 degrees Celsius today) so last night whilst we were out Owner also bought me a lovely new pair of 'bootie'-style slippers. They are super comfortable and keep my feet nice and warm. I am not sure, however, that my wonderful fellow blogger billie or  Madam Alice would approve (you will have to follow the link to see what i mean)

new slippers

'Bimbo' Workout & Weekly Punishment Changes

Hello everyone. It's that day of the month again (16th) when dice are rolled to determine what outdoor challenge i needed to complete today. N.B - no chastity dice were rolled this month as i remain locked until the 16th December when that dice will be rolled again.

However, back to the challenge dice. The first dice determined the location, which turned out to be a bus stop on the far side of our local park. The second determined the outfit i was to wear- sports bra and leggings. So, here i am doing some exercises in my sports bra and leggings at the bus stop, to the bemusement of passers by;

Did you clock my pink 'Bimbo' socks? You can see them more clearly below

In the meantime, Owner is currently updating all of my weekly tasks and punishments and may also revise and update the outdoor challenge dice as well. Now, when i say 'punishments' i mean the weekly maintenance punishments that i typically receive each Friday. They are opportunities for Owner to indulge Her passion of inflicting pain by means of a whip, cane, paddle, crop etc and an opportunity for me to learn to get better at tolerating pain.

Owner has decided that, in addition to hitting or striking my buttocks and the backs of my thighs i am now to also be electrocuted during such maintenance punishment sessions on my clit, nipples or pussy as well. Furthermore, i can expect additional 'training' punishments or tasks to be randomly administered during the week as well.

i am grateful to Owner for choosing to further exert Her authority and control over me in this way and look forward to learning to get better at accepting and welcoming having Her administer pain and discomfort.

Meanwhile, yesterday Owner took me out for drinks in an old favourite pub of ours, the Citie of Yorke near Holborn. This was then followed by a delicious meal at a Turkish restaurant close to where we live. We had a lovely time. Here i am being naughty by flashing my bra in the pub

Return to Normality (Almost)

i was really lucky whilst Owner and i were on holiday. She relaxed many of the usual restrictions that i live (happily) under and permitted me to have some drinks and choose what i ate. Owner even insisted on doing much of the cooking. Oh, and She also insisted that i spend the holiday out of chastity - and has since extended that period of my being unlocked through to at least the middle of August.

Being out of chastity felt very weird. i grew so used to being locked 24/7 that not being so proved somewhat discombobulating. Being locked in chastity is also my preferred state. i don't really like seeing my clit so having it locked away feels 'normal' to me. However, it is not what i like or want that matters. Owner enjoys having periods when She can poke, prod and tease my little clit at will. The holiday gone, and the next three months to come, will be one of those times.

But, back to the holiday. We both had an amazing time in Chile and loved exploring and having fun together. Both of us love to travel and we also love spending time in each others company. It truly was a wonderful experience and we would both heartily recommend Chile as a country to visit. We were in Santiago and then Southern Patagonia. One day we hope to return and head north to the Atacama Desert and then west out to Easter Island.

Although i was granted some unexpected freedoms whilst we were away Owner also made it very clear that i should expect such freedoms to end when we got back. i confess that, as much as i did enjoy being able to relax i also missed my life of service to Her.

Well, now that we are back....

Actually, in truth we have both been pretty jet-lagged. Whilst i did go out in just a coat and bikini for my outdoor challenge the day after we returned, and have also resumed many of my chores and activities, we agreed that it will be Monday i.e. after the weekend and we are both fully recovered from our travel, before things fully return to normal for me. i am actually looking forward to going back to how things were, if that makes any sense. Meantime, i was the lucky recipient of a fresh glass of Owner's finest yesterday. My first since before we went away. Boy how i missed the delicious taste of Her urine.

Unfortunately, however, it will not be the complete return to normal that Owner and i would like. My work hardly ever takes me away overnight, In fact, i actively avoid overnight stays as i don't like to be parted from Owner and know She hates not having me at home. However, the next fortnight will see me spending time away from Her for work not once, but twice. On Monday evening i travel to Leeds in the North of England, and will be there overnight on my own before returning home late Tuesday. Then the following week i will be away for three nights in Turin, Italy. Again, for work.

i know and fully accept that there will be consequences for me being parted from Owner. As usual Owner will expect me to suggest to Her how i ought to be punished for such absences from my place in Her home. i also know better than to suggest something lenient or mild to Her. Owner enjoys having me be the author of my own misfortune in such situations, which is fair. i will, therefore, need to come up with something appropriately unpleasant to suggest.

In addition, there are a few punishments leftover from before we went to Chile which Owner has decided will all be administered this coming Saturday. Needless to say that i know i will be spending a good proportion of that day caged and also being electrocuted on my clit and pussy.

Before we went away Owner also had me come up with a list of all the things that i need to do this summer to have the flat ready for the arrival of Her sister and her sister's boyfriend in September. They are staying with us for a week and Owner expects that everything in the flat look fresh and new for them. So i have a lot of time decorating etc to look forward to.

i also have a fun activity to research and present to Owner sometime in the next couple of weeks. She has requested that i prepare Her a Turkish meal, complete with a belly dance performance by yours truly to entertain Her with. That promises to be fun.

Anyway, that's enough of my rambling. i leave you with a picture of me wearing a pair of the lovely earrings that Owner bought for me whilst we were in Chile. Ain't they pretty

Poppet Spring/Summer Show

 Owner likes to have me give Her a little treat every month, usually in the form of some kind of show. January was no exception. For reasons out of my control i was allowed to postpone the show until today (technically obviously February). However, that was done with Owners' permission.

The treat i was tasked with providing Owner was a fashion catwalk. Owner stated that i needed to come up with three different themes and so, after a bit of consideration, i came up with a bridal, swimwear and ready-to-wear theme.

In an attempt to re-create the catwalk feel i paired each 'show' with some music. For bridal i went with Nick Cave's The Ship Song which is wonderfully romantic. For swimwear it was Katy Perry's California Girls (because i can daydream about being one) and then for my ready-to-wear show I went with Halsey's Killing Boys, because, well why not?

Anyway, here are my three 'shows'. Kudos to Owner for the photography and special affects.

First off, bridal;

Followed by, swimwear;

And finally, ready-to-wear:

They were great fun to do. Thank you Owner for the chance to swan about on a 'catwalk' for you.

The next treat i have been tasked with providing Owner is to re-create the 'Susan drops an olive' scene from the 1930s classic movie Bringing up Baby. i am going to have to practice my olive catching! (if you have no idea what i am on about you'll have to watch the movie).

In other news. The new cage Owner ordered for me arrived yesterday. Here i am testing it:

As you can see it has wheels and i can enter it from a side door whilst the top lifts-up allowing Owner to easily interact with Her pet. However, i am not sure if Owner will be keeping it or not. The cage folds-up but our flat is small and Owner is concerned that it takes up too much space. Owner had hoped it would go in the loft but it is quite heavy and i worry if might kill me if i attempt to drag it up the ladder. So this may be my first and last appearance inside it. We shall see.

Yesterday we visited the Cute exhibition at Somerset House. It was okay but not as good as i had hoped it might be. It did provide a couple of photo opportunities though for me to pose whilst Owner snapped me.

Today, fashion catwalk aside, i have spent all morning cleaning, doing my Spanish, exercising and preparing lunch. It wasn't just me cooking this weekend though. Owner prepared one of my favourite deserts yesterday, Tarta de Abuela. She served it as a mid-afternoon snack for us both before we sat down to watch a trans teen Vampire movie called Bit which was fun if a bit silly at times with some suspect acting at times.

Owner also reviewed by punishment diary. i did a little better this week compared to the previous, with just five entries, not seven as was the case last week. My transgressions consisted of:

• forgetting to remind Owner that we had an electrical engineer visiting to test the mains which briefly disrupted the power whilst we were both working from home 
• having to be reminded to fellate a dildo whilst watching TV with Owner after having earlier been instructed to do so
• opening an envelope by mistake, that arrived in the post and which was addressed to Owner,  instead of the one addressed to me
• delaying returning clothes purchased for me for my birthday which were too big
• causing Owner to become annoyed about the new metal cage
  

i deserve to be punished for all of these and punished i will be. Owner has determined that all bar the last misdemeanour will be dealt with by having my clit and breasts electrocuted multiple times. For the final misdemeanour i will once again have to suffer the indignity of being returned to 'boy mode' and denied the right to wear make-up or female attire for a day. All very fair punishments.

Anyway, that's about it from me. Take care all.

Punishment Book, Punishments and New Rules

i mentioned in my previous post how, during our trip to Poland, Owner had helped me to choose a notebook to buy and which will become my new punishment book. The notebook is small and is something that i need to have with me all of the time in order that i might record any incident worthy of being punished. It is a great new addition to my life.

My good friend and fellow blogger sissie billie left a comment that read: 

'Just a word of caution from someone that has learned the hard way with my own "weekly review" notebook, put everything in - even if you think Owner hasn't noticed or she isn't there and you do something "bad", because if your book doesn't tally with her recollection (or she does as Madam does, which is keep her own book) then your arse and labia will suffer'

These are wise words indeed and i have taken billie's sage advice on board and am trying to make sure that i record everything that i do which i feel may have displeased Owner into my punishment book. Sadly, the week ended with seven entries, consisting of the following:

1. Becoming separated from Owner in the thermal spa complex in Poland (judged serious by Owner)
   
2. Photographing myself in chastity in the spa changing room without permission from Owner (judged serious by Owner)
   
3. Oversleeping causing Owner to have to collect the breakfast i had pre-prepared for Her rather than me bringing it to Her (judged less serious by Owner)
   
4. Forgetting to keep the electroclit torture device properly charged so when Owner went to use it on me nothing happened (judged serious by Owner)
   
5. Leaving small items of food at the bottom of the kitchen sink after washing up (judged serious by Owner)
   
6. Arranging for the bathroom fitter to return to replace an item at a time when i was not at home so Owner had to deal with them (judged serious by Owner)
   
7. Presenting on a webinar mid-week when the doorbell rang meaning Owner had to answer it Herself (judged serious by Owner)
   

Owner has determined the seriousness of each of the above misdemeanors. She determined 6 of the 7 to be serious and so deserving of a strong punishment. For the serious misdemeanors i am to be punished as follows. For 4 of these instances i will be punished by being placed back into 'little boy mode', removing my privilege of being able to wear feminine clothes and make-up for a total of 4 days (1 day per misdemeanor). The other two serious incidents will be dealt with by electro torturing my clit and, separately, my nipples. The minor incident will be punished by being pinned down and tickled. These are very fair punishments and i am grateful to Owner for each of them.

Once each of these punishments have been completed they will be marked assuch in my punishment log. To this end Owner has invested in some super cute 'stamps' with which to stamp my notebook each time a punishment has been delivered. The stamps are based on the totoro anime we both love and really are quite adorable. Here is my punishment book showing the entries for the past week together with the stamps and ink pad;

Owner will stamp my punishment log each time one of the punishments have been served. 

Of course, the above punishments run alongside my normal weekly maintenance spankings/canings and the usual weekday tasks and challenges i need to complete.

As well as my new punishment log there are some additional requirements that i also need to start to integrate into my daily life with Owner as part of my service to Her and to demonstrate my submission to Her and Her authority over me. These additional requirements are as follows:

• in addition to preparing all meals, which i already do (unless Owner chooses to), to also always serve Owner Her food at the table so that She never has to serve Her food Herself at the table
  
• to not disturb Owner when She is listening to Her audio book. If there is something i need to ask Her whilst She is listening to a book to present myself to Her and quietly wait for Her to indicate that i might speak with Her
• to always ask permission first before ever leaving the flat unaccompanied. i am already required to secure prior written approval before going out unaccompanied except for work or to run errands. Now verbal approval must be sought before i leave the flat to run an errand, take out the rubbish or leave for work

i am very grateful to my wonderful Owner for looking after, correcting and controlling me as She does. i know it is vital for my continued development and growth to help me to become the submissive and obedient wife She desires and deserves.

Little Boy Punishment

You read a lot about 'forced feminisation' as a means of training a submissive male. At first, such an approach was used on me to good effect, i can still vividly recall the utter terror that was my first ever foray outside, on a bus, wearing make-up. Or the time i had to cross Waterloo Bridge wearing red high-heeled shoes, or stand next to Nelson' Column in central London wearing a corset. But that was then (and how slim i was then too!).

It soon became apparent to both Owner and i that once started there was increasingly little needed by way of 'forcing' to incentivise me to continue my journey of feminisation. Owner supported me on this journey as i delved ever deeper into my feminine side and discovered to my surprise (despite the fact that the signs had always been there for all to see), that i actually much preferred my feminine-self to my traditional male one. i felt more 'me'. Owner helped open the rabbit hole but after i fell in i discovered i really liked where it took me.

Now, there were always limits to this journey. Whilst She has been incredibly supportive of me exploring and developing my feminine side, buys me clothes and make up etc at the end of the day Owner is clear that She also wants me to remain essentially male. To those who, on an irregular basis, pose the question would i ever take hormones, have breast implants etc, etc? The answer is an emphatic 'no'.  Owner is clear that She wants me to retain a male body and so that is how it will always be. Make-up, clothes, hair, nails, bra, jewellery etc, etc  = 'yes'. Hormones, boob job, botox, laser hair removal, eyebrow shaping etc = 'no'.

However, it is also true that i am now in a place mentally where i feel most at ease and comfortable with myself when i am made-up, have my bra created chest and am generally attempting to look pretty. In short, i have become a very feminine man. 

This has given Owner an idea. Why not weaponise my sense of being femine, or perhaps my absence of feeling like i am a 'proper' man, and turn it against me? Use it as a form of punishment. After all, if i hate presenting as fully male so much what better way to discipline me that to require me to do just that. So that is exactly what She has done. She has introduced a new form of punishment for me. What She describes as my 'Little Boy' punishment where i have to stay unshaven, sans make-up and wearing boys clothes. To me presenting as this is horrible as it no longer feels 'me'. Many will probably read this and be baffled as to how this can be an effective punishment but let me assure you it is. What is more, Owner has let it be known that She fully intends to use it more often as a means of further training and disciplining me to always do exactly as She wants, keep Her home spotless and become Her perfect PA and assistant. Roles She expects me to perform to Her exacting standards.

So, for the past day and a half i have been that 'Little Boy'. i can't wait to get back to 'normal' me when my punishment is over. Meanwhile, this is what 'Little Boy' me looks like:

Little Boy out for a meal with his Owner

Little Boy at the bar ordering drinks for his Owner

Hopefully, you'll not be seeing too much of Little Boy going forwards!.

Public Service Announcement - July Public Challenge Postponed

As regular readers will know i normally complete a randomly chosen outdoor exhibitionist challenge on the 16th of each month. i regret to inform you, however, that this month's challenge has been postponed for a few days and will occur later in the week.

i am the reason for the delay and i apologise. Unfortunately, my lovely Owner has had cause to punish me and is banning me from wearing make-up, feminine clothes and from shaving for two days as a punishment. This makes the completion of the challenge impossible. 

The reason for the punishment is that on Thursday this week She had to go into Her office for work. i made Her a lunch to take in, as is rightly expected of me, but then forgot to put it into Her work bag. Luckily for me Owner spotted my sloppiness just in time and was able to retrieve Her lunch from the fridge before She set off. However, such an oversight on my part is, i know, unacceptable and so i am rightly being punished. The punishment will last for 48 hours commencing tomorrow (16th July).

i hate having to appear in 'boy mode' like this. Owner is fully aware of this hence using it as a form of punishment. Readers may not think it much of a punishment but i can assure you that if you were me you would realise that it is, much more so than a caning or something else might be.

i am truly sorry to Owner for my oversight and i am grateful to Her for clamping down on such instances of sloppiness on my part. As Her submissive wife i know i need to provide for all of Her needs and risking Her leaving for work without having food in Her bag for lunch was unacceptable on my part. i will ensure it does not happen again.

My punishment does not start until tomorrow, Sunday 16th and will finish at midnight on the Monday. In the meantime, things are continuing as normal. Today, after completing my Spanish studies followed by my exercises, Owner gave me a glass of Her refreshing urine to re-hydrate. It certainly quenched my thirst!

post-exercise glass of urine

After getting changed into something pretty whilst i am still allowed to, remembering my punishment does not start until tomorrow, Owner then spanked my bottom and my bits with two of Her metal implements. The solid metal ball tenderiser definitely leaves an impression when used to hit my tender plums! 

freshly spanked butt and plums

After lunch it was then time to do Owner's hair for Her.This was followed by a fun photo shoot of me in the 'submissive & breedable' cropped top that Owner bought for me. It was great fun to do and there will be a separate blog coming in the next few days showing some of the results.

Photo shoot over Owner decided that i would be allowed to join Her on the sofa to watch a movie. A storm had been forecast so an afternoon at home seemed sensible (the sorm never actually materialised). i was despatched to the corner shop still wearing my cropped top with my hair in tied up in pigtails from the earlier photoshoot to get some supplies for the movie. Here i am on the shop (sorry not great photos)

i managed to crop my head!

The film itself was a very silly Chinese disaster movie called The Wandering Earth but it was a distracting way to end the afternoon. 

So, as a reminder there will be no outdoor challenge completed tomorrow, it will be done sometime during the week. Meantime, i have 48hours in boy mode to come as punishment. i will be counting down the hours to be able to return back to 'normal' but am grateful to Owner for correcting my misdemeanors and, in doing so, helping me to become a better wife to Her.

Bad Boy

So, earlier this week i did a bad thing for which i am rightly being punished by Owner. On Tuesday, with Owner's permission, i met up with my mother for dinner (no meeting my mother was not the bad thing!) i had submitted a written request to Owner to be able to go out for dinner with my mother, Owner requires me to ask for permission in writing whenever i want to go out unaccompanied by Her. In my written request, which She had approved, i explicitly wrote that i would not have an alcoholic drink whilst i was out, but then i did. Specifically, i had a gin and tonic.

On returning home Owner immediately detected the smell of alcohol on my breath, She has an amazingly acute sense of smell, and was rightly extremely upset with me. Not only do i always need Her prior permission before having an alcoholic drink i had even explicitly said that i would not have one. Only to then then drink one. Owner announced that i could expect to be punished. i spent the next few days feeling very bad about what i had done and sweating, waiting for news of my punishment. Today, Saturday, i found out .

Any reader thinking my punishment might involve me being caned or spanked etc does not know the mind of my Owner. She knows that to be truly effective a punishment should deprive me of something very important to me. In this instance, aware how much my expressing my femininity has become a core part of me, that is what She targeted as my punishment. From Midday Saturday until Midnight on Tuesday i am back in full 'boy' mode. i am banned from wearing make-up of any kind, not allowed to wear a bra or pretty panties or dress en fem, neither am i permitted to shave. These are things i have grown accustomed to doing daily. They have become a part of who i am. i do not feel i am me without them so to be deprived of them for three whole days will be hard, but deserved.

me in 'boy' mode

 i know what i did was very, very wrong and i am truly, truly sorry but also grateful to my Owner for caring enough to punish me for my misbehavior. Thank you Owner.

Away from my punishment the week passed quickly. Returning to work after a fortnight's break was a bit of a shock to the system, especially as i ended-up having to go into the office three days in a row, no working from home all week from me. Still, one evening Owner did have me prepare dinner for Her naked save for wearing my large metal fur-tailed butt-plug and vicious spiked nipple clamps (see below)

cooking whilst naked, clamped and stuffed

My nipples were quite sensitive when i was eventually able to remove the clamps which are quite nasty. You do get used to the pain a few minutes after attaching them....until you remove them that is. Below is a picture of my spiked clover nipple clamps.

a reminder of how nice and nasty these clamps are

This morning, despite the fact that i was about to learn of my punishment, Owner also gifted me a delicious glass of Her piss to consume after breakfast. Which was lovely.

n.b. my punishment had yet to start, hence still in my nightie

So i am typing this in full boy mode and feeling rightly ashamed of what i did earlier this week. It really was not the return from holiday that Owner deserved.

Despite my earlier misbehavior we were both greatly cheered, however, by the news yesterday when not only did our former Prime Minister, Boris Johnson resign in disgrace as an MP but Donald Trump was also formally indicted and faces the real possibility of ending up in jail. Good riddance to them both i hope.

An Important Intervention

Owner and i are going away for a few days to stay with Her family. However, last night Owner put me on notice that She wanted and expected things to change when we get back. She pointed out that i have, of late, been focusing more on things that i like to do whereas what i should of course be doing is meeting Her needs. i have also been allowing myself to get distracted when there are things at home i should be doing.

i felt suitably shame-faced and today write Her a full apology. In it i also proposed to Her some ideas about how i could change what i do with my 'free' time at home in order that it is used more productively. i will update on our return but Owner is right to have chastised me as She did and i am at fault for having allowed myself to lose my focus, which should be on what She wants and expects from me.

One example of how i get distracted, and how this impacts my performance, is that i had started to watch live Youtube video feeds of the of the renewed volcanic eruption in Iceland. Last night Owner had me write one hundred lines about my need to secure Her approval to watch this. The photo below is a sample of the lines i wrote

page 1 of 3 of the lines that i wrote last night

Today before dinner i was given a further reminder of Owner's authority when She caned my breasts and pierced nipples and then secured my legs legs so that they were spread apart and spanked the exposed dangly bits of my little caged clitty using Her heavy, solid-metal, ball-buster. She remarked to me afterwards that She could 'tell that I did not enjoy that' - i didn't, it hurt, but then that is precisely the point. i am grateful to Her for having hurt me.

i will update when i can with whatever changes Owner has in mind for me and can only repeat my apology to Her for having allowed myself to become self-centred when all my attention should be focused on Her, and what She wants.

Afternoon Tea for Owner

A short while ago Owner requested that i prepare an afternoon tea for Her to enjoy. A combination of factors out of our control meant that today was the first opportunity for me to fulfill Her request. It was a day we were setting aside with nothing in particular planned in case we got the same reaction to our second Covid-19 vaccines as we had experienced with the first - yes we received our second dose of the Astra Zenica vaccine yesterday.

This morning, however, we both seemed fine, with no obvious side affects unlike the first time, and so i thought it would be the ideal day to provide Owner with the afternoon tea She expected from me. Shortly after breakfast i retired to the kitchen to start baking some cakes. i opted to make gluten-free lemon cupcakes, which i then decorated with a lemon icing together with some unicorns and rainbows once the cupcakes had cooled. Owner loves lemon flavour cakes and biscuits.

Cupcakes finished they were set aside whilst i prepared us a light salad lunch. Then after washing and putting away the dishes i retired to get into the outfit that i would be wearing later in the day to serve Owner Her afternoon tea and cake. i chose my old french maid's outfit, steel boned under-bust corset, fishnet stockings, big frilly knickers and stripper heels.

Time veritably whizzed by as i busied myself with some admin and before i knew it the clock had struck 3.30 and it was time to prepare Owner's tea. We are very much a mug (not tea cup) household, although i did track down a fabulous little tea pot we never use and matching sugar bowl, though sadly not a matching milk jug. Still, i did my best to make the tea and cakes look presentable and Owner described Herself suitably impressed, even remarking on the presentation - i paired the unicorn themed cupcakes with some plastic unicorns from the bathroom.

Owner declared the cupcakes a triumph and enjoyed Her tea. i must say, it was fun to dress up for Her like this and do a 'formal' tea for Her. You can see how i got on below:

Afternoon tea and cakes are ready

A cheeky flash of thigh

Tea service

Owner gets ready to tuck in

my home made lemon unicorn and rainbow cup cakes

The rest of this week saw us both busy with work. On Wednesday Owner punished me for spending too much time watching the footage of the Iceland volcano on Youtube by having me write out 100 lines which read;

'i will not waste time looking at Bob the volcano every 5 minutes'

It is the first time that either of us can recall Her giving me lines as a punishment. Owner remarked how pleasant it was to hear me silently scribbling away and how She will have to get me to write lines more often. i still do watch the volcano so i can imagine there might be more lines to come one day!

Aside from that i also studied some Spanish one evening whilst Owner spent some time chatting on the telephone with a friend She has not spoken to for a long while.

Tomorrow, we head off to a hotel i have booked us both into to celebrate the anniversary of when we both physically met each other sixteen years ago. i have also booked a restaurant near the hotel for dinner. Owner has bought me an outfit to do a little hotel photo shoot in and will also be giving me my weekly caning whilst we are there.

Take care all, abrazos y besos x

On Punishments and Consequences

Owner has a number of principles that inform Her approach to Her domination and control over me. One of these is that Her time is important to Her and that She expects Her control over me to help free up time for Her to spend how She likes, not add additional demands on Her time. To that end She looks for ways to increase and maintain Her control over me which do not require significant additional effort on Her part. In many sub/Dom relationships the dominant partner can often spend a lot of time focused on the desires of their sub. This can be time the dominant enjoys spending and Owner enjoys times like this too. However, She also expects my serving Her should free up time for Herself and not create additional burdens for Her.

One way this manifests itself is in the use of the dice for deciding punishments or challenges etc that i need to undertake. Once Owner has come up with an initial set of ideas to load the dice with She can then relax and let chance decide what i will need to do rather than Her having to think of something all the time. Periodically, the dice are updated and loaded with new instructions of Her devising but they are essentially a sort of time and labour saving device that provide me with the discipline, consequences or challenges that i need and crave whilst ensuring Owner gets to spend as much time as She likes doing other things.

Another principle that informs Owner's approach is that a 24/7 Femdom life needs to be practical and fun.She is not a sadist nor i a masochist. She will inflict pain and discomfort but does not seek to 'break' me, though whether She perhaps should is another matter (i write rather nervously knowing that Owner will review this post before it is published). Owner also likes to keep things light-hearted and fun. We do not do 'sessions', we live and act as we do 24/7 and i don't think either of us could sustain for very long a very hardcore and intense Dom/sub relationship. Though i submit completely to Owner and She controls pretty much all aspects of my life outside of work i am not Her slave and neither has She ever asked me to become her slave. She teases me that i am fluffy and could not handle life as a real slave but i equally think it is not what She would ever want Herself either. She absolutely is in control but that control is not enforced with an iron rod.

So time-saving (for Owner) and fun are both important facets of our relationship and these tend to be reflected in the ways that Owner exercises Her control over me. If Owner is annoyed with an aspect of my behaviour She will make Her feelings quite clear verbally and admonish me, only rarely will She actually physically punish me. In the meantime, the dice are used to keep me on my toes, break down some of my remaining inhibitions, practice my skills, increase my pain tolerance and discourage me from working away from home as much as possible.

With that in mind, here are some examples of more recent dice-determined things i have had to do recently

eating my dinner whilst blindfolded - incidentally i eat all my meals from this dog bowl

washing-up naked except for a pair of hold-ups and my furry butt-plug

The video below shows me self-administering one of the more 'uncomfortable' dice punishments - beating my 'plums' with Owner's favourite leather paddle

Another Spanking and New Punishments

Owner and i are heading away for a long weekend to Northern Ireland which means it is a shorter work week for us. However, i have had to work away from home on two occasions this week and so have had to be punished by Owner. The form of punishment i received was determined by the new 'working away from home' dice which She has introduced to encourage me to work from home, where i belong.

One of these two punishments will be completed when we return from our trip and will involve me being gagged for the duration of a TV series we both watch - about an hour - whilst we watch it. However, the second punishment was administered last night and comprised another 100 strikes from Her favourite leather paddle. Owner administered it during the World Cup half-time break. Once again it made quite an impact and left me with red and sore bottom.

This morning Owner declared how much She is enjoying these new punishments. She has also decided that discipline should  be used again as a learning aide to further my Spanish language learning. Years ago Owner used to regularly test me on how well i was doing with Spanish and then punish me if i was not doing well (i should say here that languages really are not my strong point). Anyway, i then had a period of ill-health and these study punishments ceased. That was a few years ago. Owner has now decided that She will re-start testing my Spanish and that i can expect to be punished for errors or mistakes.

So it looks like discipline and punishments will be playing a bigger part in my life from now on.

The Beautiful Game

As a nation tuned in to the World Cup semi-final last night,whilst whispering the opptomistic mantra 'it [football] is coming home' yours truly could be found with my mind on slightly different matters. It was the 11th of the moth therefore it was the day i would be rolling the dice that determined whether or not i would be spending another month or more in chastity or be unlocked or have to complete some forfeit that Owner had devised. All this the dice would decide as part of the monthly chastity game that now occurs on the on the same date each month.

But, i am getting ahead of myself. Back to the events of yesterday evening.

i missed the opening goal (England's one and only of the match) as i was in the kitchen finishing the washing-up. However, as soon as i was done i joined Owner in the lounge but before settling down to watch the remainder of the first half with Her there was something i first had to do. Being permitted to watch TV with Owner generally comes with consequences in the form of a jar full of punishments that is kept on the top of the coffee table in the lounge. At Owners request i have to pick out a punishment at random from the card as a consequence of being allowed to join Her in watching TV. Last night was no exception. In fact, She had already informed me that instead of the usual one punishment card She wanted me to take two, one at the start of each of the two halves of the match.

i picked up and shook the jar and extracted one of the cards at random inside and read my punishment '15 minutes on all fours with weighted nipple clamps'. And so that is how i then 'watched' some of the first half of the match, kneeling on all fours with clover clamps attached to each nipple and weights suspended from the metal chain between them. By the time the punishment was completed, and as i had missed the start of the match as i was finishing my chores, it was almost 30 minutes into the game before i finally got to sit down next to Owner to watch the remainder of the first half.

Come half time Owner instructed me to pick another card. As luck, or bad luck. would have it i drew the same card again! My nipples were now a little sensitive and so, perhaps feeling sorry for me [EDIT by Owner - I was not feeling sorry for you, just bored that it was similar], Owner stated that i was to put that card back and She would draw another one. The card She picked required that i receive '10 testicle spanks'. i asked what implement She wanted and She advised that She required the wooden spoon. And so, after fetching it from the kitchen, i presented my chastised clitty to Her and spread my legs and Owner administered 10 spanks to my bits, each blow causing me to flinch.

After completing this Owner then advised that it was time for me to roll Her chastity dice and determine whether i would be staying in chastity or not. As previously blogged about Owner has a new 'game' which involves me rolling a large toy dice on the 11th of each month to see whether or not i will be allowed out of chastity. Each face of the dice is blank and can be written on by Her and wiped clean. Owner kept the faces as She had written them last time except for one, which She wiped clean and replaced with a requirement that i remove my chastity device for a week and instead draw a panda face on my clitty and keep it there all week before returning to chastity - Owner loves pandas!

Anyway, i rolled the dice and .....this weekend i am permitted to come out of chastity until the end of the weekend when i will be locked up again. It will mark the end of 60 days of being continuously locked up but my release will be brief before i am locked down again until the 11th August when the dice will once again determine what happens next. It is, as they say, a beautiful game :)

Punishments

We are now a two-tier punishment household. In our lounge there is a pot that Owner received as a gift and which, for quite some time, sat unused on the kitchen windowsill. It now has a new lease of life in our lounge as the 'instant punishment pot'. It contains about 20 or so hand written punishment cards each of which contains a single instant punishment. They are varied but comprise punishments such as being spanked X number of times, standing in a corner for X period, having X number of clamps attached for X period of time etc, etc. In short, short sharp punishments for minor misdemeanours on my part.

Owner recently also decided that a condition of me being permitted to sit and watch TV with Her in the evening (when i could instead be doing something useful) is that i need to ocassionally also pick and complete an instant punishment card. It is not that Owner does not enjoy having me watch TV  with Her, it is just a recognition that this is a treat for me and that i should thus be punished for the privilege. Last night, for example, i drew a card that required me to stand with my hands on my head facing the wall for 20 minutes. The other night the card i picked that required that my clit be decorated with 10 clamps for 20 minutes, as you can see below

Owner has now also introduced a second tier of punishments for those situations when i really annoy Her or piss Her off, which unfortunately can and does sometimes happen - most commonly when She finds some food that has expired that i have not dealt with. Well these punishments are different from the 'instant' ones. They have now been placed into a bag that hangs from our fridge and when/if (and sadly it will be a case of when) i have to complete one i will have to draw it at random from the bag. The list consists of 6 different punishments:
- recycle an item of my clothing
- give £20 from my monthly allowance to Owner (my allowance is £100 a month so that would make quite a dent)
- wear no make-up for a week (i wear make-up daily)
- wear no jewelry for a week (i do like my bling)
- wear men's underwear for a week (the horror - actually this would require me to buy some as i only have one emergency pair for use when i go to the doctors all the rest of my knickers are just that, pretty knickers)
- no alcoholic drinks for a month (i drink much less than i once did -now perhaps once/twice a month now that Owner decides whether i can drink or not)

More generally i am pleased to report that i have been getting back into my old groove the past few weeks and hopefully i am back to being the housewife/sub that Owner both desires and deserves. There is still a lot of shit going on here in the UK and the world at large but i am trying to just focus on my role as Owners submissive slut and to be less distracted or obsessed by politics and the news. i am still political but i had got the balance wrong and was not focussing enough on Owner or my submission to Her. i feel much happier in myself to being back doing the things Owner expects and deserves to get from me.

i leave you with a gratuitous shot taken today by Owner of me cleaning our kitchen (and yes i am always without panties at the end of the day :) )

Piss, Punishment and Promotion

Owner seems to be really enjoying some of the recent additions to my training and development. Every Saturday and Sunday She now presents me with a glass of Her delicious urine for me to drink. This weekend She handed me a warm glass to have before my breakfast and today i received a glass mid-morning, just as i was about to commence my exercises. It is interesting how the colour and the character of Her urine differs depending on the time of the day or what She has drunk Herself. i look forward to becoming an expert when it comes to the many vintages She produces.

Owner has also had cause to make use of the new system of 'instant punishments'. Last weekend i posted about how i had been punished for not labelling food in the fridge. i drew a punishment card from the bag and which stated that my nipples had to be clamped and weighted for twenty minutes. The punishments was delivered in the kitchen with me stood facing the wall. Well, i am afraid Owner had cause to insist that i take another card today. i had been over-zealous with the use of bleach when cleaning the bathroom and made the flat smell of bleach. This time the card i drew stated i was to be spanked 40 times on my testicles. Owner administered the punishment in the bedroom, striking my exposed bits hard and painfully. But it was soon over. She then took this picture of the wooden spoon She used resting against my still throbbing bits, and then added a creative touch to it. i love the final result

Owner also received a promotion at work recently and successfully passed a course She attended, and which She had been very stressed about. i am incredibly proud of what She has achieved. She really is an inspiration.

The Good Life

Owner will often remind me that i am an extremely lucky submissive. When She says this She means that there are many things that She allows me to do which another, stricter dominant might not. She is of course correct. Owner regularly gives me little treats or surprises that She knows i will enjoy. This weekend i have been especially lucky in that regard.

Yesterday was the final of the Eurovision song contest, an event i always look forward to watching. Owner finds the whole show a bit of a waste of time but She knows that it is a show that i enjoy and thus it has become something of an annual fixture in our household, with us both sitting down together to watch it as a treat for me. This year Owner surprised me by not simply permitting me to watch the show but also suggesting that we go to the pub beforehand and then come home and watch the show. And so it was we spent a few happy hours having a few drinks and gossipping and people watching before returning to watch the spectacle on TV. The song i hoped might win, Belgium's entry, did not but congratulations to Portugal for a deserved success.

The treats continued today when Owner permitted me to undertake another of my favourite activities, namely take a trip to our local garden centre and buy some plants. If left to my own devices, something that will obviously never happen, i could spend all day in garden centres and spend a small fortune. Owner ensures this doesn't happen but She does permit me the occasional supervised foray to go with Her to get some plants. However, i am only permitted to get the ones She chooses.

So, as you can see i have been having quite a weekend of treats. We have also started our new routine of me drinking a glass of Owners wonderful urine each day at the weekend. The glass i was given by Owner this morning was full of Her warm amber wine. For some reason i am always left feeling aroused when i drink a glass of Her piss, it is wonderful stuff.

However, Owner is also quick to chastise or reprimand me when i do things wrong and today She unfortunately had cause to administer one of Her new 'instant punishments'. i had just got out of the shower when She came in and demanded to know why i hadn't labelled the date i had placed a half-finished packet of halloumi cheese into a container in the fridge. i was instructed to pick a punishment from the punishment bag that now hangs from our fridge door. The card i took out stated that i was to stand for twenty minutes facing the wall with my nipples clamped and weighted. So this was how i spent twenty minutes of my day today. My nipples were quite sensitive afterwards!

nipples tweezer clamped and weighted

Stood facing the wall for my punishment, the punishment bag is the small red bag hanging to my left

Travels and Training

Owner and i have just returned from a great two week holiday in the Orkney Islands. Sadly, we both have to return to work tomorrow and so we are just moping around the house looking devastated and consoling ourselves with plans for where to go on holiday next :(.

Before we went away i managed to complete the period of punishment that i had accrued without acquiring anymore and so once again was able to return to wearing make-up and feminine clothing. Yippee! However, i think the Gods were against me as a few days later we arrived all fresh ad excited in the Orkney Islands to start our holidays only to discover that our luggage hadn't quite made it with us. In fact, it was another three days before we were reunited with our luggage which meant three further days minus makeup etc. However, our luggage did eventually arrive and within it the special coat that had Owner bought for me just for the occasion - yes a see-thru plastic coat in which to complete some outdoor 'challenges' whilst we were away. You can see me modelling the coat and posing against our hire car below;

Being the exhibitionist that i am i have to say that i absolutely adore the coat and hope that there might be some other opportunities to wear it again!

We both absolutely loved our holiday and had a great time exploring some of the amazing archaeological sites in the island, including dwellings that were built sometime around 3000BC, burial chambers, remnant Viking culture and leftover military installations from the Two World Wars. These alongside some amazing bird and other wildlife and a wealth of fantastic land and seascapes and a large number of islands to explore. Below are just a few pictures from our visit;

They really are wonderful islands to visit and explore.