Lockdown Update

Hello everybody, i hope you are all keeping safe and well. This is just a quick post to connect with you all and say hello. It has been a quiet week for Owner and i. Work for both of us continues to be surprisingly busy with telephone and video conferences. My Director managed to surprise me this week by suddenly face-timing me out of the blue, meaning that she got a close up view of my freshly made-up face and big hooped earrings together with my blue and white striped blouse. It is a little on the sheer side so, depending on the light, it may or may not have shown off the padded bra i had on underneath. All i can say is that i at least managed to avoid dropping my mobile, which would have revealed i was talking to her in whilst wearing a black skirt and nude hold-ups.

i have also had my nipples clamped a number of timess this week whilst undertaking some of my regular household chores, a consequence of this weeks throw of the indoor task dice. A side affect of this is that my nipples feel even bigger and more sensitive to the touch. Owner remarked the other day how big my nipples were and it is all i can do sometimes to stop myself absent-mindedly caressing them whilst staring out the window as i wash-up. Honestly, they have become so deliciously sensitive these days. i am sure there is an inverse relationship between the longer i am locked in chastity or generally kept denied and how easily aroused i become if my nipples are caressed. The good thing, i guess, about wearing a bra all the time is that it least it stops me from constantly playing with them!

i forgot to mention that on the 16th of April we rolled the chastity dice again for me. The result was that i am to stay locked for a further three months at least. For those that don't understand the appeal of chastity (to submissive males kept that way) there's a great blog called Denying Thumper which is a great read for anyone interested in the subject. The author writes far better and more eloquently on the subject than i ever could. It is an often funny and always interesting read.

i leave you with a picture of the pizza i made Owner and i for lunch today. i think we are both going to to have to work out quite hard later to burn it off!

Talking of workouts, we tried a ballet barre routine during the week. All i can say is Oh. My. God.

Stay safe and take care.

Boho A Go Go

Hello everyone, i hope that all readers are well and you are all managing to keep yourselves usefully and naughtily occupied? Owner and i are continuing with our daily exercise routines. i snagged my leggings on my bracelet this week so Owner has ordered me a new pair. She also permitted me to order a new dressing gown.

i was reading one of my favourite blogs the other day, the wonderful blog written by Mistress Alice and her sissy husband billie. The blog documents their Femdom relationship and their life together, a life which they share with Master John. They were discussing the joys of all three working from home during lockdown and having to attend regular skype meetings. This is also something Owner and i are adjusting to. We now usually both work side-by-side in our little office space in our lounge. However, whenever i have a meeting i retreat to our bedroom.

Most of the time my meetings are run as teleconferences but more and more of them are starting to be hosted on Zoom. The thing to watch out for with Zoom, and the thing i forgot about, is that when somebody sends you a Zoom meeting link unless you have told your laptop otherwise it automatically opens up in video conference mode. This happened to me the other day. i had not been expecting to be joining a video conference and so was wearing my white and black, semi-sheer, frilly sleeveless blouse, with padded pink bra a black skirt, stockings and furry slippers (in my defence i was at home!). Luckily there is a short delay between the application opening and the video appearing, just long enough to quickly slam the lid of your laptop containing the camera shut, which is exactly what i did!

Though i do wear women's clothes and make-up to work i like to think my look is a subtle one, no skirts for starters, whereas when working from home it normally is not. i don't think my colleagues would be quite expecting to see the 'real me'. That said, i know from talking to another colleague that she now wears fancy dress at home every Friday and that, for her quarterly review with her manager, which was conducted by telephone not video conference,  she was dressed as a French Businessman, complete with fake moustache. She joked that perhaps we ought to hold all meetings dressed up, if only she knew what i was wearing as she said that!

Owner and i have our own version of Fancy Dress Friday accept that ours is held over the weekend and consists of me selecting a theme at random from a selection curated by Owner and then dressing in an outfit to match the theme. Owner then photographs me in my outfit. Previous blog entries have seen me in Sci-Fi, Sporty and Goddess outfits. This weekend the chosen theme was 'Bohemian'. 

And so, ladies and gentlemen, i present you with the Bohemian Poppet

She also created this little video mantage

Owner also had another treat in store for me this morning. She woke me my teasing and caressing my nipples (which always instantly turns me on) and by spanking my caged clit. She then sent me further into sensory overdrive my placing her aromatic knickers over my face before pleasuring herself with her vibrator whilst simultaneously spanking my locked clit - She is very multi-talented!

Owner encouraged me onto all fours where, head down, bottom up i displayed and spread myself for her like a true slut. She caressed the entrance of my pussy with her finger which soon had me purring contentedly and as it quivered in anticipatory response. Then she resumed striking my testes hard with her hand whilst i spread my legs still further apart in lusty arousal. It felt wonderful to be spanked hard that way.  It wasn't long before Owner flipped me back onto my back then sat astride my head with my tongue in her arsehole as She pleasured Hersef to orgasm with Her vibrator, my little clit throbbing inside its cage. She then clamped my nipples and had me caress and play with them, which i did eagerly, moistening my fingertips before stroking each clamped nipple. She observed me for a while then rolled onto Her side and told me to lick out Her anus again. It was a delicious delight and a privilege to pleasure Her this way once more as She brought Herself off for a second time. What a lovely way to start a day!

New eBook + Attack of the Space Slut

Owner and i continue to keep well amidst the Covid-19 lockdown. i have taken to writing another story, and have also just published an old one, written a year ago, which Owner has now had the time to edit and review. That story is called The Island and is now available as an ebook on Lulu.com

The story i am writing at the moment is completey different in style. It is a science-fiction fantasy story about the takeover of Earth by aliens called the Alpha who have weaponised sexual pleasure using a device called an orgasmatron. The Alpha are resisted by a secret group of 12 submissives (men and women) drawn around the world whose training by their Goddess and their sworn obedience to her combined with their permamantly chastised state enables them to resist the Alphas sexual power. i am having lots of fun in my head writing it! i will let you know when it is finished and available. As with any of my e-stories all monies go to Owner.

The idea behind it came from this week's lockdown photoshoot. Owner had me choose a card last weekend to decide what the theme of my weekend photoshoot would be. i selected sci-fi. The pictures below are my interpretation on the theme. i went for a space slut kind of look;

me and my ray-gun :)

don't move or i will be forced to suck!

space sluts do it sitting down

point your rocket at my bum and fire

Owner also created this terrific little video montage

Meanwhile, stay safe everybody. i leave you with a picture of me in my 'i am just popping out to the supermarket' Covid-19 attire

Cleaning and Clamps

Unfortunately, this weekend Owner had cause to give me a proper but deserved bollocking. The cause of my dressing down was my household cleaning duties, or rather how i had not properly undertaken these.

i have a daily cleaning rota which sees me rotate through the flat doing different rooms on different days. However, i have been focussing on the visible/accessible surfaces and areas and missing those parts of the flat that are inaccessible/out of the way. For example take under our bed. We have a couple of large whicker boxes under there, one contains an assortment of Owner and my shoes - ones that do not fit in the shoe rack(s). The second contains sex toys and whips, floggers, canes etc. This weekend Owner discovered that both boxes had evidently not been wiped down and and cleaned for a long time and that there was also a large build-up of fluff on the floor under the bed.

Owner was really not amused. Not at all. She forcefully pointed out that it was my responsibility to ensure that the flat was kept clean and tidy and that She was fed-up with finding instances where i was failing to do that. i was clearly in the wrong and genuinely did not know what to say as i knew that actions, not words were really the only way that i could make amends.

i am genuinely sorry that i had not been maintaining the standards that Owner rightly expects. She is naturally a tidier person than me and She despises clutter, and will think nothing of simply throwing something of mine away if i have left it out. i have got better (i think) over the years at being tidier and keeping the flat clean and tidy. However, my natural default mode would be to be surrounded by books and objects, all of which Owner has over-time ensured i get rid of - to create a tidier aesthetic. In short, the flat is to be kept as She, as my Owner, wants it, and She is right to expect this of me. However, it is clear that i still have some way to go and need to focus on improving my household cleaning duties further.

i write all the above as i am conscious that it might sometimes come across in the blog that my life is one big bit of fun and photoshoots. We do have fun together, lots of fun, but Owner equally expects me to keep Her household as She would like it. i have many tasks to do and keep on top of and i am far from perfect at doing this. After almost 15 years together it is clear that i still have much to learn and improve.

Another thing that Owner expects of me is that i am able to endure pain and discomfort. i have mentioned many times previously that i love having my nipples played with. Owner sometimes likes to play with them and abuse them too. She used to have occasion to be disappointed in me when i would wimper and flinch when She was torturing them. As a result She has long-held the view that i need to ensure that my nipples are better able to endure pain and punishment. To that end She has loaded the weekly 'household' dice that i roll with a number of nipple torture related outcomes. As a result i quite regularly find myself having my nipples clamped and sometimes weighted too when undertaking cleaning tasks about the flat.

Last night i experienced a double whammy of nipple torture as i had to clean the fridge wearing my 250g/8oz nipple weights on each nipple then afterwards clean the bathroom with 'regular' nipple clamps. These latter clamps are really quite vicious as they are heavily spring loaded with mini teeth - they are actually supposed to be used to secure tableclothes in position.

The picture below shows the weighted clamps on me and the clamps in close-up

weighted clamps on and ready to clean the fridge

Close-up of the clamps. The combined weight on each nipple is 250g/8oz  and the clamp itself has a serrated edge

Once i had finished cleaning the fridge my nipples were well and truly stretched and on-fire from wearing the weighted clamps. But their ordeal was not over. My next job was to clean the bathroom with 'regular' clamps. You can see these on me and in close-up below

clamps attached and still managing a sort-of smile

the spring-loaded and toothed clamps in close-up

A side affect of the abuse my nipples receive is that they are almost always aroused and highly sensitive (in a good way!) to the touch. They have also got a little bigger over the years from having been stretched quite regularly. Most importantly, however, they are better able to withstand and 'enjoy' the attention they sometimes get from Owner. In short, they have become better trained to endure pain, in fact to actually rather enjoy it. It should be said though that Owner is not a sadist. If ever She noticed that my nipples have been punished a bit too hard she will instruct that they need time to recover and put the use of nipple clamps and/or weights firmly on ice for a week or two.

Birthday, Butt Lifts and Butt Licks

Owner celebrated Her birthday this week. It was a milestone year for Her, i'll not say how old She is but let's just say i had my 50th back in January and we are back level-pegging again :)

Unfortunately, Covid-19 put paid to the birthday surprise i had booked for Her, namely a trip to New York, Broadway show etc until things return to normal. So instead we celebrated Her birthday at home. i ordered Her a cake which turned out to be much bigger than i had expected - we ended-up giving half of it to our downstairs neighbours - and cooked a meal of Her choosing to be prepared and served in restuarant 'Casa Petunio' i.e. in our flat. We will go out and celebrate in style once the lock-down ends, assuming it eventually does.

Owners' birthday cake

Yours truly serving dinner at 'Casa Petunio'

Meanwhile, to stay fit and active we have both been working out to exercise videos together, which has been great fun to do. We use the Jessica Smith workout videos. i am hoping that, over time, they will help to trim my 'love handles' and get me back into shape.

Owner has also been making use of the time to do some weekly photoshoots with me. i get to randomly select a theme and then She photograhps me. Last week the theme was 'Love Goddess'. This week the theme was 'Sporty' and you can see some of the pictures that She took of me below. Together with a little compilation video. Next weekend's theme has already been selected - it's 'Sci-Fi' - i can see lots of creative use of tinfoil coming!

me and my builders crack!

Owner has also been making use of the time to enjoy my body, specifically my tongue in Her arse. This morning She woke me by teasing and caressing my nipples until i was purring and moaning like a good little whore - i adore having my nipples played with and turn into a wanton slut the minute they are caressed. Next She placed Her fragrant knickers over my face so that i inhaled the scent of Her crotch as She started to spank and gently beat my testicles. They were swollen and bunched like unripened plums beneath my chastised clit. With each strike my legs spread further and my hips arched. i longed to be struck harder and harder.

Owner paused and slipped Her fingers into my mouth and i suckled hungrily on them before She then withdrew Her moist digits and caressed my erect nipples and struck my swollen plums again. i was in seventh heaven and was desperate to be played further. In response Owner started to bite me. She clamped down on my neck and sucked hard, chewing my flesh with Her teeth. It was divine and i moaned and squirmed in response. Next She moved down my body, rolled me onto my side and sunk Her teeth into the flesh of my buttocks. She squeezed my butt cheek with Her hand to get more flesh into Her mouth and sucked and bit me harder still. My mind reeled. i longed to be marked all over. My pussy grew hot as i fantasised about having Her hands deep inside me as She continued to bite and mark my flesh.

However, Owner had other plans. She stopped biting me and instead rolled me onto my back and began to grind Her pussy against my swollen chastised clit. She took out Her vibrator and pleasured Herself as She rubbed Herself forcefully against me, using my chaste clit as a mini-dildo. My hips arched up and She shifted position and ground down hard against my swollen...very swollen...plums. i was desperately horny as She used my body as Her sex toy.

'Lick my arse' She suddenly commanded and rolled over onto Her side presenting Her wonderful derrier to me. i hastily re-positioned myself to reverse spoon Her, parted Her cheeks and slipped my tongue into Her anus. i absolutely love licking and tasting Owners' backside and She seems to enjoy it to. We stayed locked like that, Her pleasuring Herself with Her vibrator whilst my head was positioned between Her thighs so that my tongue penetrated Her anus as far as it could. My probosis slid in and out, moistening and licking the entrance to Her inviting dark star before delving back.  In and out it slipped and slurped whilst Her vibrator purred against Her clit until Her muscles tensed and spasmed as She came, then came again.

Owner satiated it was time for me to get up and get breakfast. i was feeling super horny but happily, frustratingly denied. It was the perfect start to the day.

It hasn't all been fun and frolicks this past week though. There has also been housework to do, sometimes painfully including cleaning the bathroom wearing heavy weighted nipples clamps and sweeping and mopping the floors with 20 mini pegs attached to my plums.

Hope everyone is keeping safe

The Show Must Go On

Whilst we all adjust to life under lockdown Owner is determined to make the most of the situation. In addition to ensuring that i make full use of the time to undertake some spring cleaning - yesterday it was windows and the front door - whilst also completing twice daily workouts and other tasks and activities on request, She has also set-up some fun activities.

Owner has introduced a new weekly activity we have nicknamed the 'coronashoot'. She has created a little portfolio of photoshoot suggestions that can be done at home. i have to pick a card each week from Her portfolio of ideas lucky dip. My selection determines what the photoshoot will be. This weekend was the first such shoot. The card i drew out from bag of ideas was Love Goddess.

Owners' bag of photoshoot ideas and the frst card i picked

Below is a selection of images taken and a video montage of some of the resultant photos that Owner took. i will get to choose the next card later today for a photoshoot to be done next weekend.

poppet 'Love Goddess'..ha, ha

Have fun and stay safe everyone

Unexpected Release

Who would have thought that whilst everybody is under lock-down that i should find myself suddenly and unexpectedly released? Well that is what happened to me yesterday.

The night before last i had a supervised shower before going to bed. i have these on a weekly basis when in chastity, they are an opportunity to remove my chastity device under Owners' supervision in order to give it and my clit a thorough scrub, clean and shave. The device is then locked back on.

This time, however, Owner said She wanted me to stay unlocked overnight. She does sometimes request this and so i thought nothing of it. We then went to bed as usual. i was soon fast asleep curled up next to Her. Early the next morning, well before our alarm went off and with the bedroom still cloaked in darkness, i was awoken from my slumber by the sensation of Owners fingers caressing and scratching my clit under my silk nightdress.

i was still half-asleep but woozily rolled over and parted my legs to give Her easier access. i was expecting that She wanted to maybe tease me for a bit before having me pleasure Her. She sometimes does this, leaving me frustrated and horny but denied.  i imagined that She might tease me for a bit and then stop.  However this time was to be different.

Owner raked Her nails across the soft flesh of my clit it which in turn started to respond. She then moved to stroking my clit, not hard but enough to make it start to grow a little. In what felt like a matter of seconds the sensation quickly went from pleasant arousal to a realisation that i was quite close to coming. My clit was still not fully hard, perhaps a product of having been kept in denial for well over a year, much of that time spent in chastity. But it was now close to orgasm. i was still half-drowsy but realised that i was fast approaching the point of no return. Half in panic i asked Owner if i had permission to cum? Her words were words i have not heard for such a long time.

'Yes, cum like a slut' She whispered, continuing to lightly caress my still semi-hard clit. And that was it. i moaned and groaned loudly as i orgasmed copiously, saturating my nightie in what felt like an ocean of cum that drenched the whole of the right side of my body. Owner scooped some of my mess up with Her fingers and fed it to me, it was so nice to taste semen again!

After getting up and preparing our breakfast i showered and went back into my own personal lockdown once again. i feel a mixture of emotions at having now had an orgasm after so long going without one. i am grateful to Owner for granting it to me. i wonder when or if i might be permitted another one?

Cook, Clean, Bake, Work, Get Caned and Fucked - Repeat

First and foremost i hope that this post finds you and your families well and taking care to protect yourselves, loved ones and their fellow citizens from Covid-19. It is an understatement to say that we are living through difficult times and my and Owners' heart goes out to you all. The news from Italy is especially grim and in Spain it is getting worse by the day. We know the UK is not far behind and the USA too.

But life does and must go on. Owner and i have adjusted our routines. We are now both working exclusively from home, we're avoiding going out except to go to get food and we're both now exercising daily at home together (it would be deeply ironic were we to actually emerge from this period fitter than we went into it).

And, of course, it means that there is plenty of opportunity to cook, clean, bake and be caned and fucked and Owner has been making full use of the opportunities. There has also been time to watch movies together curled up on the sofa with a bowl of fresh warm popcorn and and catch-up on some of our favourite programmes.

Last night we sat down to watch another episode of 'Naked Attraction' a dating show in which the contestants all start or end-up completely naked. Unsurprisingly, we both end discussing the myriad varieties of cocks on display. There are small ones, enormous ones, pierced and non-pierced ones, hairy and shaved ones. i think you can probably guess which ones catch my eye. Last night was no exception. However, there have (so far) been no 'clitties' in chastity on the show. Owner pointed this out to me this morning whilst She was caning my chastised cock. She teased me and said that maybe i should enter and how much i would love to be on national TV completely naked with my clit locked up. She was joking (i think!) but i confess that the idea of being naked and in chastity infront of strangers both terrifies and thrills me.

As i said Owner mentioned this whilst She was caning my clit this morning. She had already had put her fragrant knickers over my head so i could inhale Her scent and clamped my nipples. Owner then alternated between spanking and caning my baskside and testicles, striking me harder and harder and encouraging me to moan like a whore. When She felt i was properly 'warmed-up' She flipped me over, straddled my face and had me tongue fuck Her anus whilst She brought Herself to orgasm with Her vibrator. When done She gagged me with my new ball gag (see below) and then had me prepare my 'pussy' for Her by lubing, stretching and opening it with my fingers before She fucked me with Her strapon dildo. As She did She again pleasured Herself to orgasm with Her vibrator. i was left very horny, slippery and highly aroused, but still denied. i truly have become Her sextoy. It's now 455 days since i last had an orgasm, i suspect i might never have another one again.

i mentioned above that Owner gagged me before She fucked me. She used the lovely new ball gag from Godemiche which arrived a week or so ago. This is what it looks like 'in situ' on me, as you can see it is nice and sparkly!

i suspect i may be spending quite a bit of time gagged

Owner has also mentioned that She wants me to do a few photoshoots at home whilst we are confined to our flat thanks to Covid-19. i love doing these and look forward to seeing what sorts of photoshoots Owner has in mind. In the meantime, i leave you with a random selection of pictures of me keeping busy at home.

'labia' clamped for whilst i am cooking

titties clamped whilst dusting

Add caption

plugged

Stay safe everyone

'Panic' Buying and Lockdown

Today is the day of my monthly outdoor dice challenge and this time it took me to one of our local supermarkets for a bit of a wander around the fast emptying shopping ailes in the gorgeous high heels Owner bought me for my birthday. With Coronavirus ravaging the continent and fast spreading in the UK supermarkets have been in the news quite a bit of late with reports of shoppers panic buying essentials. So it felt quite weirdly appropriate that when, under Owners' supervision, i rolled the outdoor challenge dice late yesterday the first dice, stipulating the location of the challenge, landed on 'supermarket'. The next question was what would i have to wear? The second dice swiftly answered that, i was to wear trousers and high heels.

As today is a working day i suggested to Owner that i wear a pair of my women's suit trousers matched with a blouse and my bright red slut heels to complete my challenge. Owner approved of my choice. i elected not to wear stockings so that i might show off my brightly painted toenails and my ankle tattoo.

It is about a 10 minute walk to the supermarket from where we live. Owner instructed that i was to be careful not to fall over whilst getting there and to only change into my heels when i was close to the supermarket. So this is what i did. The supermarket is on one of the main roads into London but there is a new housing development near it that has just been built which provided an opportunity to scoot into a side alley and change into my heels before setting off. i teetered rather carefully on my platform heels across the busy main road and into the store.

The store was busy with shoppers and many of the shelves were completely empty of stock as people have been stocking up on supplies in an expectation that the UK will follow Italy and Spain and elsewhere in Europe that is going into lockdown. Nevertheless, i was able to find some essentials to purchase, pose for a few selfies (see below) then join the queue and pay for my purchases, leave the store and head back home. i elected to walk part of the way back in my heels before changing out of them about halfway back. Before i did i got shouted at by a van driver who leaned out of his cab to film me on his phone as i teetered along with my shopping. i have no idea what he was saying, i had my earphones in listening to music, other than he appeared to be desribing me as 'sister' - he was behind me at that point, i think from the front it's very obvious that i am not a girl!

Anyway, it was slightly nerve-wracking but great fun to do the challenge and Owner expressed Her satisfaction at how i got on. i have no idea when or whether i might be able to do the next one, which is scheduled for mid-April, i guess it will depend on whether the UK has joined others and is in full lockdown by then. Here are some photos from my little outing:

in the half emptied supermarket with my shopping and heels

just after changing into my heels in a sidestreet

opposite the supermarket waiting to cross the road

in the store

with my shopping bag, heading home

Talking of lockdowns, today marks the 60th day i have been kept in continous chastity this year and tomorrow will be the 450th day since my last orgasm. Being denied for so long is quite an amazing journey. It's odd, i genuinely no longer have any desire to orgasm again - infact were i to be made to by Owner i would probably feel a sense of slight disappointment at my period of denial coming to an end - and yet i also get waves of feeling intensely horny. The slightest thing can arouse and excite me, especially mentally, and my cravings to be treated like, and be seen as, a slut become stronger every day.





In the meantime i have also been kept on my toes at home by Owners' household dice and have been clamped, gagged, plugged etc whilst performing a variety of my household tasks. Unfortunately, however, Owner has also had cause to voice Her displeasure at the standard of some of my household cleaning (i swear She can see things i can't - maybe i should be wearing my glasses when i clean!). i was lucky to have just 'got away' with a verbal dressing-down from Her and not a physical punishment. If we do end up being locked down at home due to Coronavirus - as seems more than likely - i can well imagine Owner using the opportunity to enforce the very highest standards in household cleanliness.

Stay safe everyone, especially readers and followers in Italy and Spain who i know are enduring very hard times at the moment.

[EDIT] - since drafting this the Prime Minister has announced we are going into a sort of voluntary lockdown

My Sextoy Life

Let's talk about sex.

One aspect of my relationship with Owner is that She has, for a long-time, regarded me as being Her sex toy. That is to say that sexually my body exists for Her pleasure, not mine. At first this began as a 'rule' that i was never, under any circumstances, to initiate sex with Her. At the time we still had what one might call a 'conventional' sex life i.e. penetrative sex.

Then after a while it became apparent that sexually Owner did not need my clit inside Her for Her to experience pleasure. It became, in effect, redundant. The last time it was inside Her pussy was over a decade ago. She would still grind Herself against it or make use of my tongue but it was clear She did not need it inside me and so inside Her it did not go. Our roles also reversed, She started to fuck me, something i came to greatly enjoy. But, i no longer fucked Her.

Owner still permitted me to cum. She would tease me and pleasure me with Her hands. She allowed me to cum but only if had Her permission to do so. She also taught me to lick up my 'mess' afterwards and i grew to enjoy the taste of my own semen. Sometime later Owner discovered She could make me cum by spanking, slapping or caning my testicles. Such releses were painful but powerful as She hit hard. My orgasms became fewer but more intense and more vocal. Owner encouraged me to vocalise what a slut and whore i was as She beat an orgasm out of me.

Such orgasms as i was permitted in this manner only happened after She had first been pleasured. That was important. Not only was i never to initiate sex but Owner also expected my focus to be on Her. She regarded my body as Her sex toy. It's primary purpose was Her pleasure. Yes She would sometimes 'reward' me with an orgasm of my own but i was being taught to derive my pleasure from giving Her pleasure.

Under Her direction my sexual role centred increasingly on Her anus. Specifically on licking and probing it with my tongue whilst She concentrated on pleasuring Herself with Her vibrator. i love licking and tasting Owners' backside and She seems to enjoy having my tongue pleasure Her. Sometimes She simply rolls onto Her side to indicate that She expects me to worship Her, other times She will climb astride my face and ride my tongue.

Fast forward to today and my sexual role is solely that of being Owners' sex toy. i have not had an orgasm for 15 months. Owner does still sometimes beat and tease my clit (whether locked or not) but never to the point where i might be close to cumming. My role is now solely to orally service Her anus or to provide a body for Her to grind Herself against whensoever She should so feel like it. i have become Her sextoy, albeit one which She will, on occasion, fuck. Meanwhile i am now kept in a state of perhaps permanent orgasm denial (i have no idea whether i will ever be allowed to orgasm again). It is to me a fitting reminder of my sexual purpose in our relationship.

However, it is not a solely one-sided existence. Although i no longer get to cum i do get to experience great pleasure, satisfaction and enjoyment. i love, adore and relish opportunities to worship Owners' anus. It drives me deliriously insane. Being kept in a state of long-term/perhaps permanent orgasm denial (often but not always accompanied by being physically kept in chastity)has also considerably heightened my own state of sexual arousal. The smallest thing can and does excite me and my nipples are almost constantly erect and are very easily aroused. My biggest sexual organ, my brain, has probably had more fun this past year and a bit than at any time in my life. It's weird and difficult to explain, although i know from reading blogs by people kept similarly denied my experience is far from unique.

Owner will also on occasion, surprise and reward me with a new sextoy to be used on me. Last weekend was one such time. One thing i really enjoy is having my 'pussy' stretched and Owner also likes it to be kept nice and accomodating for Her if She wants to take it. Last Sunday Owner ordered a new ball gag and a pretty new butt plug for me from a company She found online called Godemiche which makes gags, plugs and dildos in a range of different colours that you can mix and match to customise. She ordered a large pink and pearl coloured plug for me together with a glittery purple gag.i cannot wait for both items to arrive!