Stern Words For This Slut

On Sunday, after completing my outdoor challenge (see previous post), Owner took me for a few drinks in a local bar. It was lovely to go out, just the two of us, and spend some time together. Whilst we were there Owner used the occasion to also have a serious word with me. She noted how i had allowed my work-life balance to get out of hand and that it was not acceptable to Her and was also bad for me. She reminded me that She expects, as far as is practically possible, i am to be at home. That my purpose in life is to look after Her, entertain Her, serve and worship Her. 

i am not naturally a 'live to work person' but much more of a 'work to live' one, as are we both. i am, however, lucky in that i derive a lot of satisfaction from my job and have been able to have an influence in the sector i work in. However, as Owner reminded me. She did not choose someone to live with and to have as Her submissive based on what they do or achieve for work. Rather, it was based on my love for and devotion to Her, a love She reciprocates.

Owner made it clear to me that She expects me to get back to being the silly, slutty, submissive wife She desires.

To be completely honest, this is what i want as well. i have written before how my life with Owner fulfills me in ways that my work never could. i love and adore Her and want only to serve Her and submit to Her. i realise that i have allowed things to get out out of hand and that i need to get my life back into balance. Life with Owner should always come first. i have made changes but they will take a few weeks to become apparent due to the nature of speaking etc commitments previously entered into. Hopefully, however, Owner will soon start to notice that i am back home, at Her feet, where i belong and not gallivanting hither and thither giving presentations, lectures etc. 

Meanwhile, i had a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate to Owner that i am still Her naughty, obedient slut. i was tasked by Her with fucking myself with one of the large dildos for Her entertainment and amusement. So, on Tuesday night before i served dinner i found myself down on all fours at Her feet, my winter cleaning smock (the temperature has plummeted here) hitched up around my waist, lubricating my pussy with my spittle before pushing the dildo inside of me. It went in easily, buried balls deep inside my pussy, as i began to rhythmically fuck myself as Owner looked on. Occasionally i paused, withdrew the fake cock, fellated it and lubed it with my mouth before slipping it deep inside me and fucking myself again. This was repeated over and over.

All the while Owner watched, took some pictures and generally observed Her wife prostrate and fuck Herself at Her feet for Her amusement. She permitted me to fuck myself like this for a little over five minutes before calling a halt to proceedings. The whole episode left me feeling wonderfully aroused and deliciously frustrated. i was careful not to allow myself to get too excited and have an accident, it has been almost six months now since my last orgasm. i stopped when instructed, tidied up and then served dinner before continuing with my chores.

'Artistic' black and white image

You can see the original image below and see clearly that i am wearing a sexy combination of hold-up stockings and flip-flops! In my defence i don't currently have any slippers and my flats have fallen apart (and being an upstairs flats heels are out of the question). i also reckon that if people wear crocs as fashionable footwear, when these are essentially footwear designed to wear in hospital theatres, then why not wear stockings and flip-flops :)

Original image

Meanwhile, Owner has really hurt a muscle in Her shoulder and we are trying to get a diagnosis and treatment for Her as it is has left Her in fairly constant pain and discomfort these past few weeks. It also has meant that She has not been able to give Her slutty wife the beating i definitely deserve for having allowed my life with Her and my work to get out of balance.

Random Compliment

So, after an absence of a couple of months i have finally done another outdoor challenge, yippee! i realise how much i miss doing them. Technically it should have happened yesterday, when the chastity dice was also rolled (more on that later). However, yesterday was spent moving and deep cleaning our acquarium (and pulling my back in the process) and so the challenge was completed today instead. 

The task i was set was to wear shorts and fishnets at the park bus stop.You can see for yourself how i got on below. 

For the first time ever doing these challenges i also got randomly complimented by a stranger as i posed. A middle-aged black gentleman walked past me, smiled and said 'looking good'. Which was very sweet of him. i may have blushed a little 😄 as i replied with a polite 'thank you' before relaying the brief exchange back to Owner as i headed home.

Anyway, not my most outlandish ever outdoor challenge but good to get out and about dressed for a god time again :)

i was out of chastity for the above challenge as the chastity dice determined that i should stay locked only on weekdays until the 16th December, when the chastity dice will be rolled again.

Again, sorry for the paucity of posts from me. Owner and i remain busy and quite stressed with work etc but i am trying to get back to my normal-self.

When Things Turn Upside Down

Many years ago, when still really a child, i had my second and, so it would prove, final attempt at riding a horse. The first attempt had not ended well, the horse trod on my foot. This second time i managed to get on, i even got the horse to move a bit, but then the saddle slipped and i found myself ignominiously inverted. Hanging on upside down until gravity eventually won out and i fell to the ground. i have never attempted to ride a horse since.

The reason i write this is that this past couple of months have felt as little bit like that brief moment when, technically i was riding a horse, just not how you are supposed to. i was suspended upside down rather than sitting on top. i have continued to be Owners submissive, obedient wife and slut, just not how i am supposed to be. Things went awry - just as they did that time on the horse.

In my defence there have been a combination of factors that resulted in my not acting or behaving as i ought to have done, factors we all encounter at times in our life. Work has been extremely busy and stressful for both of us. For me, i allowed it to start to take over my life. i find my job professionally rewarding and it allows me to have, what i believe, is a positive impact on the world. i am, in that regard, quite lucky and privileged. However, as much as i derive satisfaction from it my work is not the thing that brings me greatest pleasure and satisfaction. That comes from serving my Owner to the best of my abilities, pleasing and pleasuring Her and from acting and behaving as the slutty exhibitionist that i am.

Truthfully, i am far happier and more contented getting on with the ironing or mopping the floors than i am being on a stage presenting or lecturing. Much as i physically might dislike it in the moment give me the experience of being bent over and whipped by Owner than receiving praise at work any day. i would far prefer to be on the receiving end of a dressing down from Her than encouraging colleagues in a team meeting. i would much, much prefer being cuddled up with Her than being in any situation work could offer.

However, this past few months has seen work taking over and also taking me away from Owner and taking me from the place i know i should be and the place i really, really love to be. Namely safe at home, serving Her.

Other things also came into play to take away my focus, things such as trying to look after my Dad and help him to see my sister. Concerns about the state of the world and what a shit show it all too often is, made even more so by the election of the orange man-child and his cronies, apologists and sycophants.

But, all these are things i cannot control. i can rage against but i cannot change. What, however, i can change is the thing that is actually the most important part of my life, namely my life with Owner. She deserves to have a better version of me in Her life than the one that turned up these past few months. She deserves a spotless home and to have all Her meals prepared and Her whims catered for. She deserves to know that She has at Her side a loving submissive who can be relied upon at all times to get or fetch whatever She needs and obediently and happily do Her bidding.

She deserves someone who completes the tasks or challenges She sets, who entertains Her and whose time is focused on Her and Her needs. Someone She can grope and fondle at any time of day and who will make their body available to Her. Someone to beat or to fuck, who looks pretty for Her, massages Her, does Her nails and Her hair. A sex toy She can use whenever She so desires just as She can electrocute and shock for Her own pleasure and amusement. A muse She can dress, a maid who cleans, a whore whose mouth, lips and tongue bring Her pleasure. A wife for all Her desires and needs and one who is at home, where She is supposed to be.

These are the things i really value. This is what i want my legacy to be. i need to get my work/life balance back in order. Owner deserves better but doing so will also make me happier and more contented too. i know that.

i appreciate that life can and does sometimes take over. We can't always live exactly as we would like to. But time spent upside down under the horse is time spent to no purpose.  It is high time that i got back into the saddle.

As i write this, Owner is out with friends and i am at home. i have spent time cleaning and have more to do. But i am also happy and content in a way that i have not been for a while. i am looking forward to Her return when, amongst other things She will hopefully read and approve the content of this blog post. i look forward to receiving the message from Her that tells me She is on Her way home, my cue to go and collect Her from the station and to carry Her bag. To hear about Her lunch and Her time spent with Her friends. i look forward to the quiet satisfaction of knowing that, whilst She was away i was not idle, that i cleaned and dusted Her home. To perhaps later being allowed to cuddle up to Her, feel Her hands run through my hair or up my legs. To part my thighs for Her, have Her slap my caged clit. To moan, be led to bed by Her. To worship and taste Her anus with my tongue whilst Her body quivers and spasms as She brings Herself off. To hold Her tight, feeling the contented metronome of Her heartbeat, watching the rise and fall of Her chest. Knowing She has had a good day and that i, as i lie there next to Her, frustrated, aroused and denied, have had an excellent one too.

That is the life i want to return to. The only life that makes me truly happy. The one i hope to live until i die.

Whither Poppet?

That's a very good question. The past month has been chaotically busy with work and non-work related travel which has kept Owner and i apart for far too long but which has finally, i hope, mostly come to an end. The past three weeks have seen me go from London to:

• Dallas, USA (for a connecting flight to)
• New Orleans, USA (3 days for as conference) then return to London
• Then to Birmingham (UK)
• Cambridge (UK)
• Devon (UK) then from Devon with my elderly father to
• Denia (Alicante region in Spain) where my sister lives. Avoided the catastrophic floods but then an unexpected overnight in
• Madrid (Spain) without luggage
• Finally returning home 36 hours later than planned, but with luggage (hurrah)

The above also involving a mad run through Dallas airport from one terminal to the next as my arriving flight was delayed and so i just had one hour to clear customs and TSA etc and make my connecting flight. An onboard medical emergency (not me) on said connecting flight. A taste of the city of New Orleans which, if like me, you enjoy a combination of intricate ironwork on your balconies plus all things death-related, you will love. The French quarter especially, even more so in the run-up to Halloween. The New Orleans conference i attended also included, to my pleasant surprise, being part of a line parade through the city after dark. Which was fun.

Then the challenge and entertainment that comprises taking your elderly father who also has dementia on his first, and sadly quite possibly last, international trip post-Covid. Enjoying seeing him remember and recall his own past career and travels (he was an airplane Captain on 747s and DC10s but also flew 707s, 737s and Dart Heralds) but saddened too at what age and his condition has done to him. Catching up with my sister then watching in mute horror some of the images and messages coming from just a few miles further up the coast as at least 200 people lost their lives in devastating local floods which saw some places receive a years worth of rainfall in less than 24hours. Followed by traveling back home with weather-related delays and missed connections that led to an unexpected layover in Madrid. Boarding a plane only for all passengers to then have to disembark and try another as the first was faulty. Finally arriving home very late Thursday night.

All the while missing Owner terribly and being separated from Her throughout my time in the USA and Spain. She Herself also travelled to Madrid for a long weekend with Her girlfriend to see Nick Cave in concert (we are seeing him together back here in London later this week). She also made clear Her unhappiness at my having been away so much instead of being by Her side or at home.

No sooner had i got back than She reminded me of my true place when She remarked; 'I am so pleased you are back, now I don't have to keep doing things for myself' [meaning that She could, once again, expect me to do things for Her]. She also welcomed me back by presenting me with a delicious glass of Her urine. i had not had any for weeks on end and had forgotten how wonderful it tastes. It was quickly and eagerly consumed by yours truly.

So, hopefully November will see a return to normality. Work remains busy for us both but i have no more work trips or other travel without Owner planned. She has booked us both onto the Eurostar at the end of the month for a weekend away in Brussels, Belgium which we are both looking forward to. i have remained in chastity throughout but, in the chaos of the past two months no challenges were done in either September or October. Now i have a lot of housework to catch-up with and a routine to try and slip back into.

i hope all blog readers are well and sorry (again) for the lack of blog posts of late. i leave you with some impressions from the past few weeks (in reverse order).

A glass of my favourite drink on my return home

Juan Carlos park in Madrid

Boarding my delayed flight back to Madrid

Mountain view in Denia

Mississippi paddle boat

Police closed the road for our 'line parade'

A great place for Creole food and full of history

Taylor Swift was coming to town...sadly after i had departed

A walled garden in the French quarter

Fabulous ironwork

My big bird out to Dallas - then a connecting flight to New Orleans

Anniversary

Nineteen year ago to the day Owner grabbed me and snogged me on the concourse of Charing Cross station. That act changed what had been a friendship into a relationship, first vanilla then FLR. So today we celebrate one of our three annual anniversaries. Today, 6th October 2024, marks that 19th anniversary of when we first began our relationship. Our remaining two significant dates being the 31st May (the day we first physically met) and the other being the 16th February (our wedding anniversary - six years and counting).

To mark our anniversary i bought Owner a couple of small gifts. The first was an oxidised silver serpent with an emerald ring from Moko. The second was a penguin love pebble (penguins search the beach for a pebble to give to their mate whom they then stay with for life) from MagicPebbles. 

Owner with Her penguin and ring

In return, Owner bought me some wonderful handcuff silver earrings, a set of make-up brushes, a cow pendant for my bag and a lovely t-shirt. Later today i will be cooking Her favourite roast for lunch.

As readers will know from my last post both of us have been really busy and stressed with work of late, for Owner it has been a consequence of Her starting a new job (which is going well), for me it is due to a restructuring at work and workload. Unfortunately, we will also be apart from each other for periods this month. i need to travel to New Orleans for a few days for work in a little over a weeks time and then at the end of the month we are both separately going to Spain. Owner is going to Madrid for a few days with a very close girl fiend of Hers. At the same time i will be taking my elderly father to the east coast, near Alicante, to stay with my sister (who lives out there) for a few days as it might be the last time my Dad is able to travel. He needs accompanying as he has dementia.

The good news, however, is that Owner is taking me to Brussels for the weekend in November for a romantic little break. By then our lives will also hopefully have returned back to normal and it will be lovely spending time away together.

In the meantime, i hope all readers are well and yes, i am still in chastity but not because it is Locktober. My being locked or not is dictated solely by Owner, not by what month of the year it is. That said, for those wanting to try out chastity for the first time then having a month dedicated to it in the form of October/Locktober is a great idea. So good luck to all who find themselves and their penises/clits locked up for the first time this month.

Still Here

This is just a quick note to apologise for the lack of recent updates and to reassure that Owner and i are still alive and kicking. As mentioned in my last post we had guests staying with us for a week which, although hugely enjoyable, cast us back into a temporarily enforced vanilla-style relationship. 

Owner and i are not a couple who entertain much/at all at home. Consequently, it was a bit of a shock to the system having guests (Owner's sister and her boyfriend) living with us in our little flat for seven days. We had to clear lots of things up into the loft in preparation for their arrival and it meant we also needed to adjust things between us whilst they were here. i still carried on doing my chores and housework etc but on a much reduced level, largely because we were out quite a bit.

Despite the disruption it was a really nice having them stay with us. i had to work a few days whilst they were here but for the most part we got to be tourists in our home city. It is amazing that, after nearly 25 years living in London, there are still secret places to discover in the city, even in its very heart. We also had a fun day out to Cambridge with them.

Me in vanilla mode

St. Katherine's docks

The Sky Garden inside the 'walkie talkie' building aka the Fenchurch Building

A backstreet in Knightsbridge

Chiswick house gardens

Skyscrapers behind the 'walkie talkie' building

Tower of London

London Bridge

Cardinal's wharf near The Globe theatre

The day they left we took them to the airport and then, upon our return home, Owner and i just dropped and enjoyed the silence and the experience of having our flat to ourselves. The next week then proved super busy work-wise and also very stressful. My team at work is being forcibly restructured and i also had multiple events i was presenting at. Owner is changing jobs and was feverishly trying to close down and hand things on whilst readying Herself for Her new role. As a consequence, we failed to really get back into the swing of things.

We agreed to put the outdoor challenge and dice roll on hold, in part because half of my wardrobe is still in the loft and also just because, well a bit of mental exhaustion i guess. i am still in chastity and back to wearing make-up and my usual attire but not all of the housework was completed and we ended up spending all of yesterday either asleep, staring blankly into space or watching TV together (the last of the X horror tryptic Maxxine, followed by the latest season of The Circle).

Fast asleep

 Today (Sunday) finds us both still feeling exhausted but i will at least try and catch-up on some of the chores that never got completed last week. We recognise that our tiredness is, in large part, due to stress, stress that is unlikely to dissipate much next week. Owner starts Her new job on Monday and i have another really busy week ahead at work, replete with further presentations, difficult conversations etc.

We will, however, get back to where we were. Life sometimes intrudes like this, something i imagine everyone living this lifestyle is familiar with.

To those who have emailed asking if we are ok, thank you. You getting in touch means a lot. Hopefully i will be back posting on a regular basis again shortly. In the meantime, bear with me whilst we re-boot.

The Great Conceal

One of the things that you would immediately notice were you to suddenly come and drop by and visit Owner and i at our home would be that clues to our lifestyle would be all around you. Everywhere you turn there are things that reflect our FLR relationship. From the collection of whips, canes, floggers etc stored as one might umbrellas, in two containers in the lounge; to the floggers, clamps, gags and Femdom imagery in Owners bedroom; the dog bowl i eat all my meals from in the kitchen and the collapsible dog cage; the collection of old chastity cages; a wardrobe full of my feminine clothes. Not to mention the photos and calendars on display with images of me in various stages of undress, the queening stool, the ropes, the fridge calendar that reminds me of the punishments etc i am due that week....i could go on.

Owner and i rarely entertain guests, we also have no children and so we never feel the need to conceal. If someone comes to do some electrical work, read the meters etc we make no real effort to hide our things. After all, they don't know us and we don't know them. Living like this year after year means that Owner and i also find it weirdly difficult to identify objects or things we have on display that others may not find 'normal'. We have become so used to them we no longer actually notice their more 'interesting' nature. To us they are quite normal, everyday items.

i say all this because this coming Friday Owners sister and her boyfriend are coming over from Spain to spend a week with us. Her sister has been to London before, staying with us at our previous flat, but her boyfriend has never been to the UK. Whilst her sister probably does have a slight inkling about some aspects of our relationship (she has in the past accidentally seen images of me that were definitely not intended for her eyes) she would, i am sure, be shocked by its full nature. Owner has no intention of revealing it to her and so we have spent a number of happy hours merrily taking down and transporting as many clues to our lifestyle as we can and putting them temporarily up into the loft. Mind you, this has provided Owner with some opportunities to take some gratuitous up-skirt photos of me as i ascended and descended the ladder to the loft.

me in the process of putting things into the loft

Pictures have also been replaced with more family friendly artworks.

For those couples living this lifestyle with children at home, or who regularly entertain vanilla friends, i can only imagine the rigmarole that must be involved constantly getting things out and then hiding them away. i for one am already looking forward to having Owners flat back to normal and our guests have not even arrived yet!

Owner and i are heading out tonight for dinner followed by a dance/martial arts performance at Saddlers Wells, which will probably be our last evening out as a couple until after her sister has left. That said, it will be fun to use the excuse of their stay to be tourists in our home city as we show them the sights and sounds of the big smoke.

Bloomsbury Bacchanalia

Owner and i are just returned from a fun overnight stay at the Bloomsbury Hotel in central London. Although we live in London we also enjoy occasionally treating ourselves to a decadent stay. This time it was my little treat for Owner, a treat She more than returned by photographing, flogging and fucking me whilst we were there. But, i am getting ahead of myself.

We checked in yesterday afternoon and, before heading to the cocktail bar for some lubrication, Owner had me pose for my first photo shoot of our stay. Owner had instructed me to bring my new slutty bodycon dress and to combine it with my red stripper heels. We were both super happy with the resultant pictures. What do you think?

the dress makes my waist disappear

Owner declared Herself to be really happy with the photo shoot and remarked that i have become a much better muse over time. She says that i pose better than i used to and that i have come less 'plank like'. What do readers think?

Anyway, photo shoot completed we decided to head to the cocktail bar some some pre-dinner libations. Owner had Her usual rum and diet coke (She was delighted to discover Her favourite rum, Goslings Black Seal, was available). As for me i went for a pink coloured cocktail (have i mentioned how much i love pink coloured drinks?) with the wonderfully gothic name, Summers Blood. It comprised Chase Gin (i am quite partial to gin), Coconut, Beetroot Wine, Lemon and Wild Cherry Ratafia (i have no idea what ratafia means either). It was delicious.

the cocktail bar

our drinks - mine is the one on the left

We retired back to our room after the meal and then rose early for breakfast this morning (sunday) before returning back to our room. It was then that Owner made it clear She had plans for me. First, She started to tickle me remorselessly, then She flogged me and whipped me on my derrier before having me go on all fours and fellate a dildo whilst inhaling the scent of Her knickers which She had draped over my head.

my bum mid-whipping

fellating a dildo whilst sniffing Owners' knickers

Next She went to beat the exposed 'labia' of my caged clit with the metal tenderiser. i confess i was a complete wimp and had to be forcibly restrained by Owner at this point. i am genuinely quite scared of this implement which makes quite an impact when the heavy metal head connects with soft and sensitive flesh. Owner chastised me for becoming 'fluffy' as She pinned me down and struck my bits, insisting that i count each blow out loud. She then whipped me some more before giving me the option of being whipped further or tickled. i made the mistake of asking to be tickled, which She did with relish. Luckily, my breakfast stayed down!

Now it was Owners' turn to really enjoy Herself. She had me lay on my stomach, fellating the dildo again as She took out Her vibrator, straddled my naked warm and freshly whipped buttocks and began to run Her sex against them as She pleasured Herself and brought Herself off. No sooner had She done so than i was instructed to roll onto my back so that She could 'ride my face'. My tongue quickly went to work licking and probing Her anus as Owner pressed Her vibrator against Her clit and enjoyed Her human sex toy. When spent She rolled exhausted off me and onto Her side, inviting my tongue to work its magic again on Her backside. i adore pleasuring Owner this way. My own little clit throbbed with delight as my tongue pleasured Her anus again.

Owner, however, was still not done with me. First, She strapped attached Her strapon to Her harness and had me kneel on the floor between Her legs and worship Her fake phallus, which i eagerly did. Then She instructed me to return to the bed and position myself on all fours. She then moistened, mounted and fucked my loose pussy with Her cock whilst again pleasuring Herself. I eagerly thrust my hips back and forth as Her cock thrust in and out of me. 

We eventually collapsed in each others arms in the bed. Owner satiated and spent, me frustrated, denied and aroused. It was a wonderful way for a slut like me to start the day :). However, more was still to come. It was time for my second photo shoot, this time outside of the bedroom and with a different, more casual, outfit on.

All too soon it was time to check out and head home. It was a wonderful and memorable stay, nice hotel too :).

Return to Chastity & a Challenge

After spending the past 3 months unlocked at Owners request, the longest continuous time i have spent out of chastity in a long while, i am back to chastity 24/7 until at least the 16th September. My locked state will then be decided again via another roll of Owner's chastity dice.

Back in my happy locked state

Today being the 16th of the month also means it has been another outdoor challenge day. Once again, my task was decided by a roll of Owner's two outdoor challenge dice, one for the location and the other the outfit. Today i went back to one of the bus stops, this time at the far end of the park, wearing my Hideri Kanzaki outfit from the manga Blend S. The outfit is a long-time favourite of mine and Owners and is one i have worn in the past:

     - on stage 

     - in a hotel corridor 

     - at a different bus stop 

     - in the park. 

It was fun to slip the outfit on again, and it still fits me 😀. This time, however, Owner instructed me to dispense with the wig, so out with my natural and normal hair i went. The bus stop i was instructed to pose at is one at the far end of the park, which itself is about a five minute walk from our flat. My first stop to take a photo was at the top of our street. Owner actually really likes this picture. It is a mysterious silhouette as the camera phone was facing directly into the sun;

The silhouette shot shows off my head band

Minutes later i was nearly at the park:

 Then i followed the road around to the far bus stop. Here are a few of me next to the stop

Hello passing driver

What time is the bus to slutville? :)

All in all it was a really fun challenge to complete and Owner declared Herself to be very satisfied with the results when She saw the pictures. The owner of the local dry cleaners also saw me in a new light when i walked past him on the way home.

Prior to this Owner and i have both been working and travelling quite a bit. Owner headed out to Spain leaving me to get on with decorating our London flat before i headed out to join Her. This was me mid-way through the painting:

i then flew out and joined Owner and we were able to sort out some more things for our flat in Spain. It is now in a state where next time we go we will both be able to stay there rather than staying at Owners' parents. In Owners' own words, She is looking forward to 'installing' me there.

i have also been keeping up with my chores, studies and exercises etc i.e. generally trying to be a good submissive wife for Owner.

i hope readers are all keeping well?