Deep-Throat Training

It has been the hottest day ever in June here in the UK and in London it is blisteringly and horribly hot. Thankfully Owner installed air conditioning into the lounge in Her flat which meant it was cool enough for Her to watch in comfort as i deep-throated Her new 13 inch (33cm) real-skin dildo. 

Owner instructed me to deep-throat Her cock for 5 minutes. Although i can get it quite a long way down my throat i can't yet totally deep-throat it. However, i am sure with practice this slut will eventually be able to!

 It is a glorious cock and one i love fellating!

As you can see i am dressed appropriately for the hot weather in my little pink apron. 

Another Chastity Device + Deepthroat Training

Regular readers will know that i have not had much luck with chastity devices of late, experiencing a succession of disappointments as device after new device has broken after a few days. i am certainly no bigger 'down there', possibly even smaller than i once was, so all i can put it down to is poor quality materials or manufacturing. Owner blames the advent of 3D printing, albeit that ironically my back-up device when the others have failed has been an old, trusted but now rather faded 3D printed cage. The problem with it is that my little clitty has a tendency to escape from it in the morning.

Which brings me to the latest device that Owner ordered for me. It is still lightweight and plastic, we travel a lot so plastic cages are preferable as they don't trigger airport security devices. However, it has a slightly more robust build quality.

i got one with the smallest possible base ring size which turned out to be smaller still than my usual ring. Upon seeing it Owner advised that it was far too small to wear. However, i wanted to give it a try (i can be quite stubborn at times). After a few attempts i was able to pop my plump, fully-formed, 'labia' through followed by the much smaller, undeveloped, second one and then lastly my clit. The cage was then clicked and locked into place, securely trapping my clit inside.

My idea was to see what it would be like overnight. This is when i know that, if i am going to have problems with a cage fit, this will occur. Your clit naturally 'swells' and engorges from, well for me about 4am. Would the base ring prove to small and tight to comfortably wear? The answer from the first night's test was 'no'. We shall see how subsequent nights go and whether a bigger base ring might be needed. However, so far, so good. Her is the new cage in situ:

Locked in my new cage and wearing my 'permission to speak' lanyard

profile view - showing v small base ring

In other news. i spent yesterday working in town and returned home slightly sweaty. Owner had already declared that She would prepare dinner, for which i was most grateful, so i quickly changed into my work smock and then went to the staircase to complete the deepthroat training i had been tasked by Her with doing. Kneeling on the wooden stairs i took Owners' pink dildo down my throat so that my lips touched the 'balls'.

Fellating cock is something that i love to do. i love the feel of a cock in my throat, but i also love the mess that it makes. Whenever i take a cock deep into my throat my eyes immediately start to water, like a lot. Next saliva and phlegm is soon coating the shaft, dribbling down my chin and soaking the floor. Before i know it even my nose is leaking and dripping so that my face is quickly covered in salty, gooey mess. For some reason i really love this. i could happily suck cock for hours, soaked and covered in glorious goo!

Birthday Countdown Tests, Challenges and Tribulations

Some of you may have wondered why i have not been posting like the over-excitable pet i am this week about my birthday countdown, well the answer is that i have been ill...again. i spent much of last weekend in bed, then returned to work Monday (the day the countdown began) but may have been a bit over-optimistic as to whether or not i was fully recovered or not as i started to then feel unwell ungain, ending up taking more time off sick. Note to self, when ill you are ill and don't try pretend otherwise.

Anyway, a consequence of my less than 100% state has been that i got behind with some of my countdown tasks. Whilst Owner likes to give me uncomfortable things to do and greatly enjoys beating me, when i am ill She insists i take things easy and generally looks after me. Countdowns, punishments etc can wait until i am feeling better.

So it was not until last night that i was feeling up to completing an overdue countdown task, and it was a painful one. However, i am delighted to report that i completed it successfully. The task required me being placed in my cage for 30 minutes, gagged and chained up. However, i was also instructed to wear an 30 mini pegs on my caged clit for the duration of the 30 minutes and to have my teats clamped - that in addition to having the heavy metal chain suspended from them on hooks as is always the case when i am caged.

i confess that i drooled a lot as i knelt there, waiting for the thirty minutes to elapse. My heavily clamped caged clit also became increasingly uncomfortable as the minutes counted down, not least because my knees are quite spread apart when i am caged (so that i fit under the desk) with my clit brushing against the floor. Normally this makes no difference but with so many pegs attached to my bits each time i shifted position some of them caught on my mat, tugging at my 'labia'.

Despite that when the 30 minutes was up i felt a bit conflicted as i knew the worst was still to come, removing the pegs. This is by far the most uncomfortable part of the process. Anyway, i successfully completed my task and was rewarded with my countdown present - a beautiful jewellery box which i am thrilled with.

In my cage with my locked clit clamped

counting down the minutes in my cage

the beautiful jewellery box i was given in return as a countdown present

Meantime, today i have been set a slightly different countdown task in that i have already been given the present, a beautiful pair of stockings with matching suspender belt. My instruction was to then wear these outside with a skirt. Here are some pictures of me modelling my new stockings and suspenders in our street. 

 

yes, it's bin collection day

gratuitous upskirt shot

It was quite a windy day and my phone kept getting blown over, despite its stand, when i was taking them. A number of people noticed what i was doing and stared at me as they were walking, but i am happy to say i simply ignored them and carried on posing like the little slut i am. The pictures do, however, seem a little tame so maybe i am still not fully recovered from my earlier illness after all.

Another of the tasks that i was set, which got delayed as a result of my illness, in return for another present was to be whipped 200 times with the short red whip i bought as a gift for Owner last year. i got it so that Owner has a whip She can easily take with Her on our travels. The whipping was combined with a weekly task of standing for 30 minutes with my hands over my head and sniffing a pair of Owners' used panties It is pretty effective. This is the outcome of the whipping i received from Her

me with a red bottom - Owners' used panties still on head

In return, i was presented with these lovely earrings

Now that i am feeling better i am also catching up on some of my usual weekly challenges and tasks that have not yet happened so far this week, like 5 minutes of deep-throat training with Owner's silver dildo.

Owners' 'cock' dripping in saliva

Ready....

Steady....

Go!

i wonder what tomorrow will bring?

Trainspotting

Well today was the big day, the day of the month when the monthly outdoor challenge dice get rolled. What would i end up having to do?

i awoke and made breakfast for Owner and i, set out the dice that would determine my fate and then waited for Her to enter the kitchen. When She was settled and ready She gave me approval to roll the dice. Rather than roll each separately (one determines the location and the other the nature of the challenge) both were rolled together. The first dice that came skidding to a halt was the location dice. My heart gave a little skip when i saw what location it had landed on, the railway station. i have only done one other challenge so far at our local railway station and that was back in the spring when i ended up having to wear lingerie only under a long coat. It was quite the nerve wracking thrill - you can read about it here. What would i have to do at the station this time?

The second dice eventually came to a stop. 'Wear high heels and trousers' it read. So an easier challenge in many respects than my previous one but that had been during the height of Covid when not many people were traveling by train. Many more are using the station now.

Anyway, i set off mid-morning and soon arrived at the station where i selected a spot on one of the platforms and changed the boots i was wearing for my red and black Pleaser heels. No sooner had i put them on than i saw a man come walking in my direction up the platform. i remained seated expecting him to walk by, at this point i thought he probably hadn't even seen that i was wearing high heels as i had my bag placed in front of my feet. But i could not have been more wrong.

"Hats off to you for being able to walk in those heels' he said 'i always admire someone who can walk in very high heels".

i had no idea what to say back so simply thanked him and said it took some practice. This seemed to satisfy his curiosity as he carried on a bit further up the platform and boarded the next train. 

It was a lovely day and allowing me to remove my jacket so that i could pose in just my thin blouse, bra, tight jeans and heels. You can see how i got on below - i hope you like

Jacket on

 

Jacket coming off

Jacket off

and bring me sunshine

i texted my pictures to Owner who declared Herself to be happy with how i had got on and then returned home. It was a fun challenge to do and the brief interaction with a stranger was an extra moment of fun. i can't wait to do my next one!

The only other thing to report is that last night found me sat on the sofa next to Owner with me being closely observed by Her as i practised deep-throating my double-ended training dildo for 10 minutes. Needless to say i was a bit of a dribbling mess by the end.

Stay safe everyone and have fun.

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions and the Exercise of Control

It should come as no surprise to anyone who reads this blog that, in our relationship, it is Owner who makes the decisions. It would not, after all, be a female-led/femdom relationship were that not the case. This control did not magically happen overnight. Surrendering and taking control is not a straightforward thing to do, it can and does take adjusting to by both parties and, in certain areas is not something that should be entered into unless you fully know and trust the other person.

For us it began gradually, developing over time as i surrendered control and submitted fully to Owner. To both of us it is important that Owner's authority and my submission extends to all aspects of our lives. We live this way 24/7 and 365 days a year so it has been important to us that Owners' control over me is practical, can be achieved whatever the circumstances and does not place additional burdens on Her. Fundamentally i should be making Owners' life easier and more enjoyable not creating more work for Her.

Today Owner controls almost every aspect of my life outside of work. Some examples of this include:

• Financial control - my salary goes into a joint account which i can use for household expenses but only with Her permission. i receive a small monthly allowance from that account to use to make small in-month purchases e.g. things like buying drinks in a cafe. 
• Clothing - it is Owner who approves any clothing that i might be permitted to purchase. i may suggest items to Her but may not purchase anything without Her approval. Requests are regularly denied but She often treats me by buying me surprise outfits, pretty underwear etc.
  
• This blog and Facebook - Owner checks and edits all draft posts to this blog and vets and limits what i put on Facebook. 
• Sex - i am not permitted to initiate any type of sexual activity. My body exists solely for Her to use at a time of Her choosing for Her own pleasure and amusement. Most of the time i am kept locked in chastity and denied permission to orgasm. 
• Home furnishing and decor  - our flat is decorated to Owners' taste. My personal effects were disposed of or put in the loft, bar one or two items of sentimental value.
• Eating out - Owner chooses what i will eat or drink when we go out.
• Decision making - in general all decisions are made by Owner, albeit with input from me (see below for what happens when i am asked to decide).
  

All the above, and more, work pretty well and we have quite a well-oiled machine when it comes to Owners' control over me. However, an unfortunate consequence of ceding so much control to your dominant partner is that, rather than making their life easier and more stress-free, you can end up increasing the workload for them considerably. 

To avoid this his we have sometimes adjusted or abandoned some things. At one stage Owner decided what clothes i should wear on a daily basis but we stopped doing this, largely because it was such a faff for Her to have to do. Instead, we simply have some basic expectations of what i will wear in certain circumstances. For example, i will wear skirts and look 'smart secretarial' when i am working from home except on a Friday when i can dress less formally. Likewise, when doing my household chores it is expected that i will wear one of my cleaning uniforms. 

Another form of control that was in place at one point but is no more is that i am no longer collared and cuffed at home. i used to be but have not been for some time now. It was reassuring to be restrained in this manner and is something that i would like to re-start. It was a clear sign of control and helped to delineate my 'working' self from my 'at home' self. Covid and the subsequent lockdown obliterated the lines between these two selves and i admit i miss no longer being physically restrained as i once was. It did, however, create some practical issues e.g. the need to unlock to answer the door.

Another way Owner has found to lessen the burden of decision-making for Her is through the use of dice and cards. She bought some blank-faced dice on which She can write instructions which i then have to randomly 'obey' through a roll of the dice, avoiding the need for Her to regularly come up with new instructions. There are dice that determine whether and for how long i am in chastity and dice that determine where and what type of monthly outdoor 'challenge' i must undertake. The dice have been loaded by Her but, having done this, they can then be used repeatedly whilst ensuring that i am left unsure of what each roll may decide.

A more recent development (as in the last 18 months) has been the use of instructional cards which contain orders from Her. Owner has various sets of these each of which relate to a specific requirement or activity e.g. weekly discipline cards, cards the detail 'treats' for Her, weekly indoor 'challenge' cards and special meal request cards. Having taken the time to write these out and place them in separate bags the cards can then be used for months on end until the last of the particular set of cards has been drawn and Her instruction followed. They then generally get re-used or added to with new cards as fresh ideas strike Owner. This does require some significant initial work by Owner but then leaves the rest of the year free for the cards to decide my fate rather than Her having to keep thinking of fresh things on a daily/weekly/monthly basis. This way it reduces, to some extent, the work for Her.

So far, so good. However, there are occasions, say when Owner is unwell or genuinely does not have a strong view either way on a matter, when She will ask me to decide. These moments can prove quite challenging (for me). i have become so accustomed to simply waiting for Her decision (or making a suggestion when asked) that i find having to make an actual decision myself can be difficult. My 'default' mode is to try and think She would like. Even if i have a strong preference myself the idea that i might put my own desires over Hers, even though i have been instructed to decide, is something that makes me feel deeply uncomfortable and causes me to prevaricate, which in itself is a breach of Her order to me to make a decision. 

i like to input suggestions and Owner almost always asks me for my opinion, especially for big decisions, but it is almost always Her that decides. This is what i am most comfortable with, making a suggestion but knowing that, in the end, She knows best. It is when the boot is suddenly on the other foot and She instructs me to decide that i get all flustered, so i am pleased that this does not happen very often.

In the future i would love for Owners' control over me to tighten still further, for example needing Her permission to use the bathroom or the furniture or to leave the flat but i am conscious of the need for this to be practical and to not create additional burdens for Her.  It would be interesting to hear from readers about what aspects of their lives their dominant partner controls.

Oh, but what a long and rambling post! Owner is going to hate me for having to read and edit all of this so i should try and bring things to a close. i leave you with two 'scenes' from my week. The first image is from when i was again instructed to wear a butt plug whilst working from home. The second two photos are from last night, when i was instructed to practice before bed with my 12 inch double-ended deep-throat training dildo. It has been a while since i have last done this and was a little out of practice! Well done to anyone who has read to the end of this, i hope i have not bored you rigid!

plugged pet

Ready, steady....

Do try not to gag!

Hot and Getting Hotter

The downside of living in a city of London is that most of the houses and apartments are not designed or built with a heatwave in mind, especially the large stock of older buildings. The house in which Owner and i have a flat in the top floor was built over one hundred years ago. The minute the temperature outside climbs so too does the temperature inside. It is soon quite unpleasant when you have no garden, are working from home with the thermometer past 30 degrees indoors and the fan blasting warm air in your face.

On the plus side, at the end of this week we are getting some air conditioning installed, but in the meantime we sweat. The only way to survive is to make sure that, come the evening you get your caged clitty cooled by a good fan, as i am doing in the picture below:

Enjoying a cool breeze on my bits

And that you dress appropriately when preparing meals and doing housework - furry butt plug optional of course :)

Tail between my legs

But, heat or no heat there is no excuse for not getting in a bit of deepthroat practice when commanded to do so by your Owner whilst watching TV together

Or, slipping in that butt plug that you have been instructed to insert whilst working

So yes, the heat may be uncomfortable, but there is no excuse for slacking off or not being the slut you are. 

Meanwhile, we both cannot wait for the air conditioning to be installed.

A Brief Interregnum...Then Back To Training

Owner and i are back in the UK after our brief visit to Spain to see Her family. The trip was not as relaxing a one as Owner had hoped for, however, we did get to celebrate Her parents wedding anniversary with a big family meal which was really enjoyable. On the day we left Owner also instructed me to remove my chastity device and to remain unlocked until we returned, which is why the days in chastity counter has changed.

The first night we were away She teased and caressed my now unexpectedly free clit. Owner caressed my nipples (which ALWAYS gets me going) and then stroked and spanked my clitty which was soon quite hard well as hard as it gets. However, She stopped after a bit and i remained a good girl the rest of the trip and refrained from the temptation to pleasure myself. So here we are, back in the UK and back locked-up again. It is eight months and counting since i last had an orgasm, part of me hopes this might become the new normal, denial is oddly extremely arousing.

On Thursday i was working from home and so had to complete an outdoor challenge. The dice determined that i was to take a picture of myself outdoors with my panties on my head. i opted to take it at the bus stop close to where we live. It is only a short walk to the stop but i was briefly 'tailed' by a van as i made my way along the street with the feel of the warm summer breeze on my knickerless bottom and locked clit. Little did the driver know that i was walking along with my panties in my bag!

It was a fun and thrilling thing to do and by the time i let myself back into our flat, mission accomplished, i confess to feeling quite excited by my brief adventure. i have been an exhibitionist from an early age, as a child, well aged about 11, i used to sneak out of my parents house and run naked in the street before sneaking back home. i still get the same excited thrill out of it as i did then, and am grateful to Owner for encouraging this side of me. She enjoys having an exhibitionist slut wife and i adore being one.

at bust stop - knickers (spotty Victoria's secret ones) on head

a better view of the outfit i was wearing

Meanwhile, the lovely Kaaren requested a picture of Owner and my trip to Spain. Below is an image of the seafront - sadly it wasn't really appropriate for me to don my bikini and join the beach goers

Friday saw me again working from home. This time the dice dictated that i complete one of my favourite activities, namely deep-throat practising. i have come to really enjoy this and feel that i am now much more accomplished than i once was. i love the sensation of taking a phallus as far down as i can manage, and i can now get it quite a long way down! i adore having my mouth and throat filled, feeling the cock slide down then fucking my mouth with the dildo. It creates a wonderful gooey, slimy mess to coat the dildo with so i can fuck my throat some more. i practised with two dildos, the long double-ended one and the fatter but shorter one. Here's me in fake cock deep throat heaven

In case you wondered what actual size these dildo's are?

the answer is about 1/2 and 3/4 of an arm respectively :)

i have still yet to be able to get the longer dildo all the way in, but i am getting there! i'd love one day to be able to take it all the way down. The shorter one now quite easily goes in 'balls deep' and is great for training my throat to accommodate a girthy cock. It is more solid than the longer one and so is more akin to a big, hard, erect cock whereas the longer one i guess is similar to a very long but only 'half awake' cock. i'd like to be trained to take an even fatter one and also practice being face-fucked. What curious ambitions i have! :)

By contrast my own, now essentially redundant, 'clit' is tiny in comparison, .  Owner's description of it as my 'clitty' is an accurate one,  and it is never used. There is no danger of it being inside any orifice ever again - except a chastity device, which it is most of the time. My 'clitty' last experienced being inside Owners' pussy well over a decade ago and has not been permitted entry since. Nor do i ever expect to ever be allowed inside Her again. It is not something i miss as my 'performance' was always something i was anxious and nervous about. i also don't recall ever having had a blow job in my entire life, neither do i have any desire to ever have one. It simply is of no interest to me, never has been. My only experience of blow jobs has been as the giver not the receiver. In short, as you can see, my clitty serves no particular sexual function of any kind. However, like any clitty it does enjoy the odd occasion when it is caressed or, more frequently, those occasions when it is slapped and spanked. But Owner takes care these days to ensure it does not get so excited as to risk an accident. My 'clit' is now kept in a state of extended orgasm denial (8 months and counting) which i love and i am eternally grateful to Owner for. All i miss is the taste of cum - Owner generally always made me lick-up my mess.  All i long for these days, and what i absolutely adore, is when She instructs me to bury my tongue in Her anus. But i am digressing massively! The point i am trying to make as i waffle on and on is that, my 'clit' is a) small and b) redundant, unlike those dildos.

i was wearing shorts when i did my deep throat training, not that you can see in the pictures above so here's one taken just after i got dressed for work (from home) at the start of the day. You can clearly see the new tattoo that Owner got me - which is now totally healed. i think it looks really cool. i love how it runs up the inside of my thigh towards my crotch. i think it looks really pretty... and a little slutty, which is a look i aspire to :) and which Owner encourages.

thick thighs and thin arms

Birthday Plus

Yesterday saw me celebrate what will be my last year in my forties. i was really lucky, Owner treated me to a whole series of wonderful surprises. She is taking me to Zagreb in Croatia for a long weekend as a birthday treat and she also took me out to dinner and has booked a restaurant for the two of us this weekend as well - see i said i was lucky! In addition to this Owner also bought me a lovely green dress. It is gorgeous

me and my lovely new green dress

Separately, Owner has also devised a new dice game for when i am working from home. She ordered some more dice that allow Her to customise what appears on the faces. This time the dice contains a series of 'activities' that i need to do if working from home. Today was the first day we got to use the dice and i rolled a 'deepthroat new dildo once every hour for 3 hours'

One of Owners' new dice games

Well, there were worse things that it could have landed on, such as to take a picture of myself outside with my knickers on my head! Anyway, i am pleased to report that i completed my deep throat task to day and have the photo montage to prove it

deep throat fun

What a lucky, slutty pet i am!

Oral Training - Practice

As mentioned in my last post Owner permitted me to purchase a 12 inch double-ended dildo with which to practise cock sucking. It is both longer, slightly narrower and more flexible than the dildo i had been practising before with and so i hoped that i might be able to better deepthroat the new dildo.

We were away over the New Year staying with Owners' family in Spain and so today was the first time i got to have practise session with it. As i had thought it might the new dildo slips past the back of my throat more easily than the other, firmer and fatter dildo i had been practising with, making it much easier to properly deepthroat. i was not able to quite get the full 12 inches down but i am sure that, with practise i could eventually. i think i managed about 9 inches. i really enjoy deepthroating and hope to be able to practise and perfect my technique with this new toy. You can see how i got on in the pictures and videos below;

my throat ended up nice and gooey

Mmmmmm

By the way, for those of you who are statistically minded and interested in such things, i ended up being permitted 6 orgasms during 2018. Am i odd to be hoping for less in 2019? Owner will, as always, decide.

New Toys

Owner and i made use of some of the early sales to update out toy collection. We purchased some new 'pegging pants' for Owner which we are delighted to say also fits the bigger vibrating dildo we have which has a much fatter head and shaft. Owner also bought some nipple suction cups to further enlarge my nipples and permitted me to purchase a 12 inch double-ended flexible dildo to practice some more advanced deep-throating with. Here are our purchases laid out on our bed:

They arrived Thursday and we are heading off to Spain on Sunday so we might not get a chance to use them until we get back, but they will be something fun to return to when we arrive home.

i have also asked Owner if i might return to chastity when we get back, i have been unlocked since September, and remain locked except for our monthly dice game when i get to roll a dice to determine if i might be set temporarily free. It was a fun game and i always feel i am a much better submissive when kept locked up, though i know Owner also enjoys having me uncaged and available to play with at times.

i hope to return to being the proper wife and submissive Owner expects and enjoys in 2019. Things slipped a little in the second half of this year and my performance has been sub par. She deserves better and i am happiest when i am working and performing at my best for Her.

Incidentally, this year also marked the 10th anniversary of this blog (i first posted in September 2008). How time flies but what an incredible journey i have had with Owner. She is, quite simply, the best.

Wishing all of our readers a wonderful New Year and may all of your dreams and desires come true in 2019.