Owner Has Control

'What are you doing looking at that?' Owner remarked casually this morning as i was studying a particularly pretty sheer, lace, boned corset on Pinterest. 'Go and make me a coffee'. It was an everyday example of how Owner can and does control me and what She expects of me, to stop something immediately and get something for Her that She might need. It was an unremarkable event in its own right but it did give me the idea for this blog entry. Namely, control and the level of control Owner has come to exercise over me.

Take a recent night out at a restaurant for example. The waiter came over and presented us both with the menu. i looked at it but did so knowing full well that my actions were completely pointless, the waiter might just as well have handed a single menu to Owner. When we go out She chooses what i will eat and, more recently, what i will drink. Again, another example of the level of control She now wields over my life.

Or take yesterday. i received an email from one of (in my view) the best retailers specialising in bras for small breasts - a shop called Little Women. The email was promoting a flash Bank Holiday sale and they had a lovely bra in my size (38AA). i asked Owner if i might purchase it to which She replied that 'No' i might not and reminded me that i already had a number of bras (which is true). Again, another example of Her control. i am not permitted to purchase any clothes of any sort without Her expression permission.

When we first started our FLR/Femdom journey all those years ago i used to spend hours browsing blogs and forums or reading books looking for examples of how subs submitted to their Dommes and how, in Femdom relationships they had handed over control to their partner. There were quite a few examples but most centred on sex and had much less to say about day to day control and that was what i was really interested in. We live a 24/7 lifestyle 365 days a year. Ours is not a relationship that comprises of a few 'scenes' or 'play' episodes and then carries on as 'normal'. We live as we do with Owner in complete control every hour of everyday. That is not to say that there are not moments when, say for reasons of health or unexpected circumstance, i need to do something or decide on something that would normally be left to Owner. But these are the exceptional moments, not the rule.

Equally, Owner does not govern our relationship like some over-bearing dictator. Like any couple we discuss many things it's just that when it comes down to the decision, She decides. Owner regularly consults meabout things and equally it is sometimes me that puts forward an idea for Her to consider. Ultimately, however, the decision is Hers.

Neither did we get to where we are overnight. Owners' control of my life has been a gradual process which has taken many years to develop and strengthen. Some areas have not been easy and it has taken quite a while to mentally adjust (on my part) but all, i repeat, all are 100% consensual. There is a real danger in any relationship (not simply one where one partner is the Dominant one) for a relationship to become abusive. That is not what we are about and is not what any relationship should be about. That is abuse, plain and simple and should always be regarded as such. However, it is possible to develop a completely consensual relationship where one partner is in full control of the other and where the other willingly submits to that control, indeed relishes it.

i believe our relationship is one that has got close to achieving an almost total level of control, domination and submission that is practicable and manageable on a 24/7 and 365 days a year basis. There are still further ways it could deepen, but as i said, ours is a journey and we still (hopefully) have many, many years of life ahead of us to strengthen our bond further.

So, what does 'control and submission' look like in or relationship?

Finance 

• Owner controls this. My salary is paid direct into a joint account we have. From that i am then given a monthly £100 allowance for sundry expenses i.e. coffees etc. i may use the joint account to pay for groceries, and other shared items. Outside this i am  not permitted to make independent purchases
• i do have my own separate savings which i still make monthly payments into

Clothing, Meals and Drinks 

• Owner controls all aspects of this. 
• i am not permitted to buy clothes that She has not approved the purchase of nor may i wear anything She does not approve of
• When eating out Owner decides what i will eat and drink

Our Flat

• Owner determines how this is decorated and how it 'looks' and how it is to be maintained and cleaned
• i no longer have any possessions in the flat. Everything that was once 'mine' has been disposed of except one or two sentimental items

Travel/Holidays and Other 'Big Ticket' Items i.e. New Bathroom/Kitchen 

• Owner decides where and when we are going and whether and what new large expenditure is needed

Social Media

• Owner restricts my use of Facebook - i am permitted to post a maximum of 2 posts a week which She must approve of
• Owner edits and vets all of my blog entries

Developments Goals

• Owner sets development goals for me for areas in which i need to improve or skills i need to learn. For example, in the past i have been sent on courses to learn massage techniques, pedicures, flower arranging, sewing and jewellery making amongst others (i have certificates in a number of these!)

Sex

• i am not permitted to make any sexual advances to Owner - only She may initiate sex.
• my body is to be used for Owners' pleasure only
• i am not allowed to orgasm unless permitted 

My Body 

• Owner designs the tattoos that i have which symbolise aspects of our relationship
• Owner encourages me to maintain my body to ensure it remains attractive to Her
• Owner decides how i 'look' and what i may and may not do to 'change' how i look

In return for the above it is expected that i will undertake all of the following:

Housework

• i am responsible for preparing all meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner) - including Owners' lunch for work and washing-up afterwards
• i a responsible for cleaning the flat and have a daily 'rota' of tasks
• i do all the laundry and the ironing
• i am responsible for maintaining the outside of the flat, putting out the bins and looking after the plants
• i am responsible for ensuring the cupboards/fridge are stocked and that expired foods are disposed of
• i am responsible for looking after our pet fish [EDIT by Owner - like that is a massive chore!]

Act as Owners' Assistant 

• i am encouraged to be Owners' PA - to make bookings for events etc She would like to see and check arrangements
• i escort Owner to and from the station when She goes to and returns from work (the latter only if i am working from home)
• i carry Owner's bags
• i am responsible for ensuring Owners' mobile is charged overnight
• i am Her hairdresser
• i am responsible for providing massages/pedicures etc on request
• i am responsible Her work bag is packed with the items needed that day 
• i am responsible for checking that Her trains are running on time and checking the weather forecast so She knows what to wear

My Appearance and Behaviour

• Owner expects me to look pretty for Her. She permits and encourages my feminisation albeit within certain limits 
• Owner expects me to behave like a slut when requested but also to look elegant at times
• Owner expects me to do whatever i am told

So this is how we currently function as a couple, with Owner very much in control of nearly all aspects of my life outside of work.


It would be really interesting to hear how other couples in similar relationships have developed and what areas and to what extent one exercises control over the other.

A Little Outdoor Challenge

Today i was required to complete a little outdoor challenge. This time the roll of Owners' dice determined that i was to complete one that the dice has not thrown-up before, namely to take a photo of me wearing my cat ears headband in a specific street near where we live.

The street itself is about a 5-10 minute walk from our flat. i completed the challenge wearing the 'workign from home' outfit that i was wearing that day which consisted of nude hold-ups, cream bra and knickers, cream blouse and black skirt with tan shoes. It was a lovely day and t was a fun challenge to do. You can see how i got on in the photos below. What you cannot see is that immediately to my right where i am stood next to the road sign (evidence for Owner that i had indeed taken the photo in the street specified) there were some builders working who seemed a little bemused as to quite what i was up to.

Anyway the images below are from the challenge

wearing my cat ear headband - challenge completed

about to set-off

on route

heading back

It was a lovely and fun little challenge to do and a wonderful opportunity to wear my home working office outfit outside as well. Owner was very happy with the results when i sent Her the photographic proof

Why i Wear What i Do

In a comment on one of my recent blog articles Evy asked:

Do you always wear fem clothes including underwear?
And what is for you the reason to wear them.

They are good questions which i seek to answer below.

Taking the first question, do i always wear fem clothes including underwear? The answer is that 99% of the time, yes i always wear fem clothes and 100% of the time i always wear fem underwear. Any clothes that i am permitted to purchase (and i am not allowed to purchase anything not agreed to by Her) or which Owner buys for me are always feminine clothes, without exception. What that means in practice is that all my clothes are always purchased from women's stores or from the women's section of a store i.e. my jeans, blouses, work blazers, shoes, coats, etc, etc are all women's. All of my old 'male' clothes were gradually discarded. The only male items of clothing i possess are some t-shirts and a couple of long-sleeve tops which only ever get worn when we visit Owners' family in Spain. They are not worn on any other occasion. Everything i wear at work or when visiting my own family or seeing friends etc is a women's item of clothing. 

None of my underwear is male. i did for a while retain one pair of boxer shorts for use when going to the doctor but even that has now been discarded. Not all of my knickers are sexy lacy affairs, some are quite plain and perfectly OK to wear for a medical exam. i normally always wear a padded bra at home and when Owner and i are going out at the weekend. At work i wear non-padded ones except if i am wearing one of my short-sleeve blouses which is slightly sheer. My ambition is to wear padded bras to work too.

So normal is it for me to wear women's clothing that i know exactly what sizes i am for which items. If interested i am wear UK size 8 shoes, wear UK size 10 /12 trousers, UK size 10 knickers, UK size 12/14 tops and wear size 38AA bras.

So, why do i wear women's clothing? When Owner first met me i did not - in fact She used to take the piss out of me for having such a drab boring wardrobe (think browns and grey) and that i only possessed about two pairs of shoes. Clothes were of no real interest to me and didn't bring me any particular pleasure. Before i knew Her i would sometimes wear women's knickers in secret but only occasionally. As a teenager i had dressed in my mum's clothes (with her knowledge) once or twice for fancy dress parties but that was that. In short it wasn't that Owner had met an active cross-dresser when She and i first met.

So what happened? Not long after we started dating i confessed in writing to Owner my desire to submit to Her and, to my eternal delight, She agreed. Neither of us had much idea what this might mean in practice and so we spent a lot of time trying different ideas and seeking others advice. One such person was a wonderful woman called Mistress 160 who was an active blogger at the time (and with whom we are still in touch yet have still never met - she lives on a different continent to us). Anyway, Mistress 160 was quite active on a fetish site Owner and i joined and she ran a forced feminisation group. Knowing by then that i did occasionally wear lingerie in secret Owner thought that this could be a good group for us to join. Over a period of time some outfits were purchased for me to be 'forced' to wear and her photograph and send to the group.

Unbeknownst to us both at the time, however, was that we had stumbled across and tapped straight into a deep-seated but essentially hidden (including to myself) desire on my part to be feminised. The clues were there but even so even i was surprised how quickly the change from 'forced' to 'willing' feminisation occurred. i was really shy and often quite embarrassed at first and would be pushed to do things, such as walk around Trafalgar Square wearing a basque or walk across Waterloo Bridge in heels. However, my initial fears soon subsided and being en femme started to become more and more normal. i began to wear bras and make-up and even started to go en femme to work. i realised two things very quickly.

First, for the first time in my life i liked what i looked like. These days i literally don't go out without make-up on and if for some reason i am not wearing any as far as i am concerned i no longer look like me and i don't like what i see. Equally, i love wearing women's clothing and though that more often involves tight jeans than skirts i love opportunities to wear the latter. i still get butterflies wearing skirts in public but if instructed to do so i do without hesitation. i really like how i look when dressed en femme and though i realise that sounds a very vain thing to say it is the truth. i never used to like what i looked like so now actually liking how i looked was quite novel for me.

The second revelation was discovering that the sky did not fall in if i dressed en femme. Living in London (or any liberal city) probably helps but i have worm make-up and women's clothes in many parts of Europe and Canada and the USA now and have never once had any issues. i obviously get the odd glance but it is rare that anyone will ever say anything. Nobody says anything at work nor has it affected my ability to present at conferences or workshops etc. i wear make-up, a blazer, blouse, bra, knickers and trousers and a pair of women's brogues and nobody either a) notices or b) cares.

In the early days Owner used my newly discovered enthusiasm for all things feminise against me as a form of punishment when required. She would deny me permission to wear certain items, force me to throw some it away for bad behaviour or prevent me from wearing make-up for a fixed period. These were hard but effective lessons.

Today my feminisation is an integral part of who i am. i don't think i could ever go back to how i was before and would not  willingly want to. For Her part Owner has been incredible. She met a vanilla man and ended up, quite literally, marrying a wife. At our wedding in Vegas i wore a pink dress with matching heels She had chosen for me and She wore a dark blue trouser suit with a blouse and bow tie.

Owner, however, is the ultimate arbiter of how far my feminisation goes. She decides what clothes i am permitted to buy and decides what might be appropriate for me to wear or not. She has grown accustomed to seeing me in make-up and women's clothes and regularly comments and compliments me on looking 'pretty'. However, Owner does not find the female body physically attractive nor does She like feminine smells and so would not permit me to ever physically alter my appearance (develop breasts for example) or wear perfume. i confess to fantasising about such things but fantasies they will remain. But i am incredibly lucky and fortunate to have met someone who has been so supportive of and embraced what was a rather unexpected journey on my part. i for one have never been happier than i am as a person now and love Owner even more for helping me reach such a point.

So there you have it, that is why i dress as i do. i adore it and Owner allows and encourages it.
 
i leave you with a picture of my 'dress down Friday home working outfit' taken today

Home Working Clamped Clitty

If Owner and i had my way i would work from home every day of the week rather than go into the office. Sadly that is not always possible for me (sadder still is that it is hardly ever possible for Her) but She does expect me to work from home whenever i can. On days when i am working from home Owner always expects me to dress appropriately in office attire and has bought me various blouses and skirts etc to wear 'for work'. Here i am dressed for work

me working from home today

i confess that i love dressing up in these outfits and would love, one day, to go to have to go to an actual office dressed like this. It would be quite a thrill. As it is people do sometimes get to see me in my 'office attire'. Our neighbour has seen me dressed like this a few times when she has rung our doorbell to enquire about something as too have various delivery drivers and postal workers. i have never yet had the courage to dress like this when we have had workmen around and i have been working from home to 'supervise' them. i still wear make-up on such occasions but have never worn a skirt....yet :)

Today, however, we had no deliveries or other visitors and so i did not get to flash my stocking tops to anyone. i did, however, get to decorate my 'clitty' with 20 mini clothes pegs. Yes, Owners' 'home working dice' determined that my reward for spending the day working from home was that i should wear 20 such pegs for 20 minutes. The result was quite colourful i think - and there was definitely room left over for some more to be added another time

Once removed at the end of the twenty minutes my little plums (as Owner likes to call my testicles) throbbed wonderfully whilst my little locked clit twitched forlornly inside its' cage.

A Brief Interregnum...Then Back To Training

Owner and i are back in the UK after our brief visit to Spain to see Her family. The trip was not as relaxing a one as Owner had hoped for, however, we did get to celebrate Her parents wedding anniversary with a big family meal which was really enjoyable. On the day we left Owner also instructed me to remove my chastity device and to remain unlocked until we returned, which is why the days in chastity counter has changed.

The first night we were away She teased and caressed my now unexpectedly free clit. Owner caressed my nipples (which ALWAYS gets me going) and then stroked and spanked my clitty which was soon quite hard well as hard as it gets. However, She stopped after a bit and i remained a good girl the rest of the trip and refrained from the temptation to pleasure myself. So here we are, back in the UK and back locked-up again. It is eight months and counting since i last had an orgasm, part of me hopes this might become the new normal, denial is oddly extremely arousing.

On Thursday i was working from home and so had to complete an outdoor challenge. The dice determined that i was to take a picture of myself outdoors with my panties on my head. i opted to take it at the bus stop close to where we live. It is only a short walk to the stop but i was briefly 'tailed' by a van as i made my way along the street with the feel of the warm summer breeze on my knickerless bottom and locked clit. Little did the driver know that i was walking along with my panties in my bag!

It was a fun and thrilling thing to do and by the time i let myself back into our flat, mission accomplished, i confess to feeling quite excited by my brief adventure. i have been an exhibitionist from an early age, as a child, well aged about 11, i used to sneak out of my parents house and run naked in the street before sneaking back home. i still get the same excited thrill out of it as i did then, and am grateful to Owner for encouraging this side of me. She enjoys having an exhibitionist slut wife and i adore being one.

at bust stop - knickers (spotty Victoria's secret ones) on head

a better view of the outfit i was wearing

Meanwhile, the lovely Kaaren requested a picture of Owner and my trip to Spain. Below is an image of the seafront - sadly it wasn't really appropriate for me to don my bikini and join the beach goers

Friday saw me again working from home. This time the dice dictated that i complete one of my favourite activities, namely deep-throat practising. i have come to really enjoy this and feel that i am now much more accomplished than i once was. i love the sensation of taking a phallus as far down as i can manage, and i can now get it quite a long way down! i adore having my mouth and throat filled, feeling the cock slide down then fucking my mouth with the dildo. It creates a wonderful gooey, slimy mess to coat the dildo with so i can fuck my throat some more. i practised with two dildos, the long double-ended one and the fatter but shorter one. Here's me in fake cock deep throat heaven

In case you wondered what actual size these dildo's are?

the answer is about 1/2 and 3/4 of an arm respectively :)

i have still yet to be able to get the longer dildo all the way in, but i am getting there! i'd love one day to be able to take it all the way down. The shorter one now quite easily goes in 'balls deep' and is great for training my throat to accommodate a girthy cock. It is more solid than the longer one and so is more akin to a big, hard, erect cock whereas the longer one i guess is similar to a very long but only 'half awake' cock. i'd like to be trained to take an even fatter one and also practice being face-fucked. What curious ambitions i have! :)

By contrast my own, now essentially redundant, 'clit' is tiny in comparison, .  Owner's description of it as my 'clitty' is an accurate one,  and it is never used. There is no danger of it being inside any orifice ever again - except a chastity device, which it is most of the time. My 'clitty' last experienced being inside Owners' pussy well over a decade ago and has not been permitted entry since. Nor do i ever expect to ever be allowed inside Her again. It is not something i miss as my 'performance' was always something i was anxious and nervous about. i also don't recall ever having had a blow job in my entire life, neither do i have any desire to ever have one. It simply is of no interest to me, never has been. My only experience of blow jobs has been as the giver not the receiver. In short, as you can see, my clitty serves no particular sexual function of any kind. However, like any clitty it does enjoy the odd occasion when it is caressed or, more frequently, those occasions when it is slapped and spanked. But Owner takes care these days to ensure it does not get so excited as to risk an accident. My 'clit' is now kept in a state of extended orgasm denial (8 months and counting) which i love and i am eternally grateful to Owner for. All i miss is the taste of cum - Owner generally always made me lick-up my mess.  All i long for these days, and what i absolutely adore, is when She instructs me to bury my tongue in Her anus. But i am digressing massively! The point i am trying to make as i waffle on and on is that, my 'clit' is a) small and b) redundant, unlike those dildos.

i was wearing shorts when i did my deep throat training, not that you can see in the pictures above so here's one taken just after i got dressed for work (from home) at the start of the day. You can clearly see the new tattoo that Owner got me - which is now totally healed. i think it looks really cool. i love how it runs up the inside of my thigh towards my crotch. i think it looks really pretty... and a little slutty, which is a look i aspire to :) and which Owner encourages.

thick thighs and thin arms

Going, going, (almost) gone

Today saw yours truly working from home and so, as has become the custom in Owners' household, the dice was rolled to determine what i would have to do. i was excited when i saw what it landed on, practice deep throating the dildo three times.

Once again i selected Owners double-ended dildo that She allowed me to purchase to better train to deep throat on. It is 12 inches long and i am on a mission to one day get it all the way down my throat. Would i succeed today? Well you can see below, but i once again had fun trying!

ready for the off - it IS nice and long

take 1

take 2

now nice and gooey

take 3

So, not quite all the way but i am getting there i hope you will agree

The Heat Is On And Off

Britain baked in a heatwave much of last week and a dangerous charlatan became Prime Minister. As a result Owner and i spent as much time as possible hiding from the heat and despairing of the state of this country and the world in general. Owner excused me of many of my duties to avoid working up even more of a sweat than i generated simply by lying still. Both of us were grateful of the wonderful fan that we invested in a few months ago though even that got to the stage where all it was doing was blasting us with warm air - like being in the world's biggest hairdryer. Some readers might wonder what the fuss is about, temperatures here peaked at 38 Celsius not the mid-40s found elsewhere. But London is not designed for heat and Owner in particular has a very low tolerance for it, Her ideal is 15 Celsius and rain :) So it was a week to be endured rather than enjoyed.

However, the temperature has now subsided and we were able to venture out to an exhibition at the British Library yesterday on this history of writing (fascinating - I never knew that the letter A began life as a symbol of an Ox head millenia ago and then gradually changed to the letter we are familiar with today).  Afterwards we went for drinks in one of our favourite London watering holes and then for a meal.

At the start of the week we also had some new flooring fitted. i stayed in and worked from home whilst it was done. However, Owner has a much better eye for detail than i and what to me looked like a job reasonably done failed Her test, by the time She had returned to inspect Herself the fitter had already left after i had declared myself satisfied with the results. i have been put on notice by Owner that if i accept sub-standard work again later in the year when we are having a new kitchen fitted then there will be hell to pay for (by me).

This coming week is a shorter one for us both as we are heading off to Spain for a few days towards the end of the week to spend time with Owners' family. We're both looking forward to a short break especially as our main holiday is still a month away and we are both fast starting to run out of steam and need a proper break to re-charge our batteries.

Meanwhile, today i have been fitting some blackout blinds - nothing like being prepared after the event! - to help keep the flat cool. Not much else to report - except to say that still i am still blissfully, frustratingly, achingly being kept denied.

Exhibitionist at the Exhibitionist Hotel

Owner booked us both in for a night at the Exhibitionist Hotel in West London London (yes, there really is such a place!) as a treat for the two of us this weekend. Owner advised me that She wanted to do a photoshoot whilst we were staying and even permitted me to choose a maxi dress to buy especially for the  occasion and bought me some matching ear rings.

Owner had booked us into the penthouse suite so there were opportunities to do take indoor and outdoor photos. We had great fun with Owner snapping and me posing. We started pretty much as soon as we arrived on the Saturday, then paused to head out for drinks and a meal before resuming this morning. We are both really pleased with the resultant images, a selection of which you can see below;

i love this picture

i even got a chance to pose outside in my bikini

yes those are metal spikes on that chair and yes, Owner had me sit on it :)

an old favourite dress of mine that doesn't get worn that often

The stay was a brief but lovely one. i even got complimented by a total stranger about my jewellery when we were having our meal together, which was a first!

i really am lucky to have an Owner who is not only a very talented photographer but who also really enjoys having me dress prettily for Her so that She can then photograph me - which of course i am thrilled to do!

Back To The Park

Today i had an outdoor dice challenge to complete, i had to return to our local park wearing a mini-skirts and fishnets and send Owner photographic evidence that i had completed the task the roll of Her dice had decided for me. It is a beautiful day in London, warm and sunny and so i opted to wear a sleeveless top without a jacket and my tartan mini-skirt, black fishnet stockings and a pair of red trainers. The park is less than a five minute walk from where we live but, as always when doing anything outdoors, i knew there was a high chance i might bump into a neighbour and it was certain that i would pass other people on the way - the route takes me past a small parade of shops, it is a bus route and the park is normally popular with dog walkers and parents with children.

So anyway, how did i get on? Well, you can see for yourself below

sat on the bench in the park

preparing to leave for the park

walking back home again

As always i was left feeling quite excited from my 'outing'. i didn't bump into anyone i knew but a bus and some cars and vans did pass me and there were people in the park as well. Nobody seemed to pay the slightest bit of attention to me in their midst but it was a lovely challenge to do as well as a great opportunity to wear a skirt that i don't often wear. i am most grateful to Owner for initiating these challenges for me and for loading the dice with a range of tasks designed to test me.

In a comment on my last post Becky suggested that i ought to do a bikini wearing park challenge. It is Owner who decides what challenges get loaded into the dice but that is a nice seasonal suggestion. Wearing a bikini in a park is actually something i have done in the past. Owner had me wear the silver bikini i had at the time (i don't have it any more - i currently have one blue polka dot and another pink sequined bikini) and a hat and photographed me sunbathing in...i think from memory it was Hyde Park, or it could have been Regents Park. Anyway, it was one of the Central London parks and it was great fun.

Earlier in the week i also had two further dice determined activities to complete. Yesterday evening, as a 'punishment' for having worked away from home during the day, i cooked and ate dinner and washed up wearing my furry butt plug, stockings and my work apron. The day before was spent working from home and that time the dice decided that i had to fuck myself with one of our favourite dildo's. i was good and stopped before there was any risk of major clitty leakage, just a light sticky dew.

fucking myself

In other news i have (finally) earned enough tokens to qualify for a reward under Owners' reward scheme - yay!! My dilemma, however, is this. i now have enough tokens to 'spend' them on a reward of a glass of Owners wonderful and delicious urine. However, if i were to hold onto them and earn more tokens then i would have enough for some of the other, more stretching rewards. What to do? i love drinking Owners piss, i love the taste and smell of it and it has now been a while since i last had a glass. Do i blow what tokens i and spend them now in order to satisfy my craving for Owners' pee or do i hold out and try to earn more to spend on one of the other rewards? Oh, decisions, decisions!

Owner, meanwhile is treating me this weekend. She has booked us both into a hotel in London in order to stage a photo shoot with yours truly. i have been bought a maxi-dress and to wear with heels and there will be opportunities for some indoor and outdoor photos. i love being photographed by Owner and hope to be able to share some of the resultant images afterwards. Owner has successfully completed a photography course and i have said to Her that i am sure there is a market for Her photographic skills. In the meantime, however, i adore the opportunity of being Her muse. In another life i would love to have been a glamour model (had i had the looks) or have appeared in a porn film (in chastity of course!) and so love the chance to pose for Owners pleasure and amusement and hopefully that of readers of this blog too.

Chastity and Dice Updates

On Thursday, it being the 11th day of the month, i got to roll the monthly chastity dice once again to see whether or not i might be released? And the answer......no, i am to remain locked for at least another TWO months. That means no further chance of release until September the 11th when the dice will be rolled again (Note to self - i must remember to bring the dice on holiday with us as we will in the middle of a two week holiday on that date).

This means that when the dice is next rolled i will have been locked for over 100 days. i don't know if that will be a record for me or not, if not it will be close to being one. It also means that i will, most likely, by then have gone over 250 days without an orgasm. Yesterday i passed the two hundred day mark. Two hundred days of feeling happily, hornily, frustrated.

Thursday night i also received a caning for having worked away from home during as i had to attend a meeting. You can see my bottom was looking a little 'stripey' as a consequence and i can confirm that it felt rather warm afterwards :)

Striped butt

However, i did not get to think about it for long as i was then bound and gagged for an hour whilst we watched a TV episode as a punishment for having gone into work for my job interview the day before. At the end of the hour my mouth was leaking freely from the cock gag that had been in my mouth the whole time.

i worked from home yesterday and the dice determined that i needed to deep-throat a dildo every hour for three hours. i enjoy deep-throating and i think i have got much better at it with practice

On your marks, get set...

...go!

In the evening Owner took me out for some drinks and a meal to celebrate my promotion at work. How lucky i am.