'Home' Sweet Home

As Owner tightens Her requirements of me in terms of my behaviour and my level of freedom i am really excited to say that She will now also be incorporating an entirely new element of control over me. From this point onwards, apart from when i am working, doing my chores/studies etc and am not required by Owner to be at Her side, i will be locked up in an under-desk 'cage'.

The 'cage' in question is actual one of the two work-desks in our lounge that also doubles as a dining table. It is where i typically sit and write these blogs. The desk to the side of it is where Owner works from home from and relaxes on the internet (i am relegated to Her bedroom when i work from home). Owner has created a special 'cage' for me using my desk (which is adjacent to Hers). She ordered a pink cushioned dog mat for the base of my 'cage' and then ordered some heavy metal chains with which to secure me to the frame of the desk. The chains are attached to a leather collar and ankle cuffs which are secured in place on me. There are hooks under the desk from which are suspended my gag and nipple clamps, with scope to add other items that Owner would like to have close at hand next to me when i am locked-up. 

Even more exciting is that Owner has ordered me a pair of cute lockable bondage mittens and a matching mouth gag as a present for me for our forthcoming anniversary.

So, this is where i am going to start spending quite a bit of time. i am truly excited at the prospect of being locked up like this, especially as Owner can have me locked up right next to Her whilst She works or studies or relaxes on-line etc. She is also very excited by the possibilities this creates. It promises to add another level of control into my life, one that i am extremely grateful for. You can see the 'cage' etc below

my new under-desk 'cage' - i will be spending a lot of time here in future

in my cage with a bonus view of Owners' foot!

locked on my dog blanket under the desk

gagged and chained to the desk

my new 'home from home' :)

Meanwhile, although it is only day two my new home regime has got off to a good start. i have realised how much time i have to do more useful and productive things now that i am only allowed online between 6-8am and 5-7pm. i have also been studying Spanish.

Last night Owner had me standing in the corner for 30 minutes sniffing Her knickers before allowing me to join Her on the sofa to watch House of the Dragon. She has also permitted me to leave the house this Friday to get a haircut. Ironically, i am trying to grow my hair long now after many years of having short hair - i would like to get it long enough to be able to tie into a ponytail as i was once able to in the past. My 'punishment' for being allowed out to the hairdressers is that i will need to walk there with a bow or a pretty hair grip in my hair.

Anyway, back to the under-desk cage. i really am excited at the prospect of being physically locked down when not working,studying,doing housework or needed by Owner. It is going to add a whole new dimension to our relationship and Owners' control over me and my submission to Her. Exciting times!!

100 Days of Denial and a Bit of Bling

Today marks a double milestone. First, it is the start of my new indoor regime, see my previous post. It is also my one hundredth day since my last orgasm. Reducing and controlling my ability to orgasm has been an area of increased importance to both Owner and myself over the past few years. 

So far this year i have actually had more releases than in previous years (four - two of which were ruined) all of which were in the first part of the year. However, i am delighted to say that the past one hundred days have been orgasm free, something i hope continues to be the case for the remainder of this year and into the next. i have written before that the longer i go without an orgasm the hornier i start to feel and the better behaved and more focused i am. This continues to be the case. When i become like this i find it difficult not to keep touching and caressing my tits, they quickly stiffen and i get very, very aroused.  Hence why i often find myself absentmindedly caressing them. Wearing a bra helps to minimise this and stops me from getting too distracted although even then i will often lift my bra during the day just to be able to touch myself there. i cannot emphasise enough how much i love the sensation of my titties being touched and caressed, it sends me straight to mega-slut overdrive and there is probably little or nothing i wouldn't readily agree to whilst my nipples are being played with!

Note that i said that when i am horny i caress my tits. i don't ever touch my clit. Even during this past one hundred days when Owner has had me unlocked as often as i am locked i still do not ever caress my clit.This is something only Owner ever does. She will sometimes touch and fondle it and of course when She does it feels very nice. However, over the years i have evolved to a point where i have totally stopped masturbating or attempting to masturbate my clit, whether in chastity or not. The only time i ever touch my clit, unless instructed to by Owner, is to clean it. Apart from that it is totally ignored. Of course, chastity helps but even then my clit still gets taken out regularly for cleaning which i do with a stiff nail brush, just to make sure i don't accidentally pleasure myself.  The only bits of me that ever get my attention these days are my nipples which, as i have said, i love to touch and caress when i am feeling horny, which i often am, and which then tends to tip me into mega-slut mode when i do touch or caress them. Touching them really is almost like a super power! Oh, and of course my pussy is always hungry to be stuffed and stretched wide, it loves that!

i think that if Owner was ever to say to me that i was no longer permitted to ever orgasm or if the weeks and months and then years were to pass with me never climaxing again, i think i could just about manage. But only if i was able to keep caressing and touching my titties. Being denied access to my titties and my clit would be something that i think i would find incredibly difficult to do. i have said in the past that i would be willing to spend the rest of my life denied permission to ever orgasm again, but i would find it very hard to also be banned from caressing my tits.

Talking of tits. They are now newly accessorised. i have re-purposed an ankle chain that broke and turned it into a little nipple chain. i think it looks very pretty. i think it goes well with my belly chain and the bells that are now permanently hanging from my clit (caged or not). i would one day love to have my scrotum pierced so that my bells could be suspended from a piercing rather than be attached to a chain around the base of my clit. Whether or not Owner would ever permit that, however, i don't know.

Anyway, here i am with all my metal and body jewellery (minus my earrings which are out of shot)

A Tightening Screw

Control and the continued ceding of control over me to Her has long been a cornerstone of the relationship between Owner and i. As the dominant person in our relationship Owner controls many, many aspects of my life and of our lives together. As Her submissive housewife and sex toy it is my place to serve and submit to Her, to make Her life as comfortable as possible, to be by Her side and to do all i can to make myself the best wife i can be for Her. i admit that i still have a long way to go in this regard. At best i might be described as being still very much a work in progress, but i continue to try to improve and become the best submissive housewife to Owner that i can be. The control Owner exercises over me helps me to grow and become the person i strive to be and that Owner deserves. 

i do not resent Her control, i welcome and embrace it. In fact, i want for nothing more than to feel and experience Her absolute control over me, to submit to Her completely. i am extremely lucky in that Owner has long accepted me as Her subordinate, someone to dominate and control and She has displayed great wisdom and skill in strengthening Her control over me and, consequentially, my submission to Her. This did not happen overnight but has instead been the result of an ongoing project. It first began when She seduced and then moved in with me and has gradually accelerated over the following, nearly seventeen, years that we have been together, four and a half of which i have lived as Her legally wedded wife. 

For me, each step on my journey of submission to Owner has been a joy. It has awakened in me a desire to be controlled and dominated further by Her and, as my submission and Her control has strengthened and deepened it has created a bond between us the like of which i could never have imagined possible. What was once idle fantasy has become our daily lived reality and with the passing of time so that lived submission and control has grown in intensity. Yet to me ours is a relationship that feels completely normal. In no way do i or have i ever felt coerced or made to give up my autonomy against my will. Instead, it has felt like a homecoming, like i am finally living the life i am, by my nature, meant to live. A life of surrender to my Owner and control by Her. i have come to learn and appreciate that she truly does know what is best for me and to allow myself to be shaped, moulded and controlled by Her. By giving myself completely to Her i in turn can learn to better serve and submit to Her.

But for us this has not happened overnight. It has been a long, long journey and one which, i hope, still has many more developments in store. Owner and i sometimes joke that we cannot remember what our lives were like before we met and cannot imagine ever going back to living how we did before we knew each other. i for one cannot envisage a life without Her, not simply with Her at the centre of it but of Her controlling all the many aspects of my life that She does. Put simply, i live to be dominated and controlled by Her and the more She does so the happier and more fulfilled i become. Yes sometimes i might still kick back, try to resist but i have come to realise over these years is that although it might not always be easy, what i really, truly want is to be completely dominated by Her. 

For Her part Owner likes to control and dominate me. The longer we have been together the more apparent that has become. Initially i think She held back a little but with time it Her natural dominance blossomed. She stopped trying to be the person She at first thought a dominant woman should look or act like and instead grew into the dominant woman She wanted to become. A unique, strong and beautiful soul. She set about training me and shaping me to make Her own life and my life better through my service and submission to Her and Her control over me.

Owners' control over me takes many forms, some obvious others not. It is more than just sexual in nature. True, one of the first ways Her desire to control me manifested itself was Her insistence that under no circumstances was i to initiate sex with Her. My purpose in bed, as explained by Her to me, was to be Her human sex toy, an object from whom She might extract Her own pleasure at places and times of Her choosing, not mine. It quickly became clear that my penis was surplus to Her requirements. Having no purpose for penetration it was re-branded by Her as my 'clit' and has not been permitted inside Her for a dozen or so years. Whether locked in chastity or not (and She does still like to poke and torment it) my clit has become pointless and redundant. A visible reminder of how much control She now exercises over me and how much i, in turn, embrace and welcome my submission to Her.

Sex and my clit aside Owner controls my daily life in many other ways. She decides what i may or may not have. i am not permitted to make purchases for myself without Her approval. My salary is paid into a joint account (to cover bills etc) from which i receive an allowance of £100 a month. When we go to restaurants Owner chooses what i can eat. Her permission is required before i can post on social media and, if Her permission is forthcoming, She must still approve the content before i post. Owner decides how Her home is run, how it is decorated, where we will go on holiday, what chores i need to do. She does still discuss things with me, asks me for my opinion, will even sometimes let me choose what to watch on TV. However, for the most part it is Her that decides and that, to me, feels exactly as it should be. 

Then there are the countless other little signs of Her control over me. When She says 'tea' She gets a fresh cup of tea, when She says 'water' Her glass is re-filled, 'toenails' and She gets a pedicure. 'hair' and Hers gets done, 'massage' and out comes the oil and lotion and so on. i strive to be attentive to Her needs, to care and look after Her. It is not, however, all one way traffic. When i am unwell Owner takes care of me until i am well enough to return back to my duties and serve Her. She also regularly canes, spanks or beats me, has me clamped, stands me in a corner, sometimes uses me as Her footstool or has me eat from my bowl on the floor, drink Her urine and many other things, including having me permanently marked with symbols of Her authority and control over me. All these things i love to do for Her. if anything i would love for Her to strike me harder, be stricter with me and treat me more harshly so that i might continue to grow and develop in my submission to Her and that She in turn might further extend and exercise Her domination and control over me. i would never have imagined how happy being treated like this could make me feel but it truly is the case that the more i am dominated and controlled by Her the happier i become.

i am, therefore, truly blessed by the fact Owner continues to tighten or strengthen Her control over me. She still finds new ways to exert Her authority and further reduce my ability and opportunity to act or behave autonomously. Two recent developments illustrate this wonderfully. The first of these occurred a month or so ago and saw Owner initiate a new level of control over me. The second is about to start next week.

The first such development is the fact that now, with the exception of when i need to leave Her flat for work purposes or to run errands for Her e.g. to do the shopping,  i am now required to formally seek Owner's permission in writing in order to leave the flat unescorted by Her. For example, if i want to meet friends or family on my own, or do something without Her i now need Her consent. On such occasions i now have to submit a written request stating where, when, why and who i will be meeting and volunteer a punishment to receive in return for being allowed out Her flat by Owner.  When i am allowed out i make sure i am not out for long and that Owner knows where i am and who i am with. Conversely, not that this happens often but i like waiting up for Owner when She goes out. i like when She messages to say that She and Her friends have finished their meal and have gone for drinks. i like not knowing when She will message to say that She is on Her way home so that i might meet Her at the station and carry Her bag for Her whilst She tells me about Her evening. i love the times when She is out enjoying Herself and i am left waiting for Her at home. It feels right that i am at home and She is not.

As Her submissive wife i know that it is important that i spend my time at home where i belong as much as is practicable. i therefore agree that i should only be allowed out unescorted by Her with my Owners' prior permission and that it is right that i be punished in return for the privilege of being allowed out without Her. Owner would, of course, also be perfectly entitled to refuse any requests submitted by me. Any such a refusal on Her part would, in turn, be a powerful reminder to me that i belong to Owner and must do as i am told by Her. Now, had you said to me twenty years ago that i would be at my happiest in a relationship where i had to seek permission to leave the house unescorted other than to go to the shops or to work i would have thought you mad. But here i am and I have never been happier. One of the things i will look forward to when i eventually retire (assuming that one day i am able to) is that i will have one less excuse to be allowed out without Her.

This 'outdoor' rule was only introduced quite recently and within a matter of weeks of it being introduced i became quite unwell with Covid and so was housebound anyway. However, there have been two occasions to date when i have sought permission to leave home unescorted. Both requests were graciously granted by Owner and i was punished accordingly for the privilege. i really welcome this new requirement. It is a clear extension of Owner's control over me and it reinforces my status as Her submissive housewife. It is a powerful reminder that, my place is at home. As my Owner i know She would be fully justified in refusing me permission to leave Her house.

This new 'outdoor' rule felt like quite a significant development in its own right. However, i am really excited to report that Owner is about to combine it with a new 'indoor' requirement as well. Left to my own devices i am prone to becoming lazy and unfocused. Time that i should be spending doing housework, studying Spanish or just generally developing my skills and abilities as Her housewife gets frittered away online etc. Things reached a head just before i became ill when Owner warned me that the situation had become unacceptable and that things would have to change. However, the implementation of the change was then delayed due to my ill-health. Now that i am fully recovered, however, Owner is starting to put Her new 'indoor' plans into action.

The first substantive change She is introducing is that, starting next week, my access to the internet is to be severely curtailed. In future i will only be allowed to go online between the hours of 6-8am and 5-7pm Mondays-Sundays. Outside of these hours i must unplug and put my laptop away and handover my mobile phone to Owner (unless i am out of the house of course). Secondly, again starting next week, i am to study Spanish daily for a minimum of fifteen minutes per day and keep a record of what i have studied. Thirdly, i will only be allowed to watch TV with Owner once i have completed my chores and studies for that day and then only from 9pm onwards, not before. Just as if i want to leave the flat unescorted i must now submit a formal request to Owner in future if I wish to use the internet outside the allotted hours or use my mobile to make a phone call outside these hours or request that i be allowed to postpone that days chores for a particular reason then, once again, i need to seek Owners permission in writing.

The above is all intended to reduce the amount of time that i waste when i could instead be studying or doing housework or other chores. Again, this represents a further extension of Owner's control over me and is one that i greatly welcome. i know that i need to be more focused and learn to be a better and more productive wife for Her and i think this new indoor rule will greatly help with my development.

However, this is not the only change Owner is introducing. To complement the above 'indoor' rules Owner is also revamping my performance reviews. At present She gives me a daily score out of 5 which then gets averaged each month to monitor my behaviour. She has now devised an online assessment (using Microsoft Forms) against which my performance will be scored by Her against a set of fixed criteria. This should result in a more objective and thorough assessment of my performance. Rather than daily this assessment will happen on a weekly basis. Previously my performance score did not result in any consequences for me i.e. i was not punished etc for a low score. Owner has informed me that this will change.

Finally, Owner is actively considering other ways in which She might further extend Her control over me. This includes the possible use of a dog cage for me i.e. something to lock me up inside of, amongst other possible developments. It feels like exciting new chapter in the evolution of our relationship may be beginning. i just hope that i live up to Her expectations. Thank you Owner for controlling me as you do, i am truly the luckiest and happiest person alive.

12 Days Later

i am delighted to say that after 12 interminable days of testing positive for Covid-19 this morning i finally tested negative, yippeee! i also feel so much better. i am no longer constantly exhausted and just lying about in bed being waited on by Owner. 

She has been amazing. She has made all my meals, done all the housework and the shopping and insisted throughout that i not lift a finger. She even sacrificed Her bedroom and moved into the spare room with its sofa bed whilst i wallowed about in our large four-poster. Remarkably, She managed not to catch the dreaded contagion from me although that did mean us trying to stay strictly segregated from each other in our little one and a bit bedroom flat. i took all my meals in the bedroom whilst She sat in the lounge and spoke to me across the open space of the corridor that separates both rooms. Tonight for the first time in almost two weeks i will actually be able to snuggle up against Her in bed again. That has been the worst part, not being able to touch Her or be close to Her.

As for me, i was actually not that well at all and this is despite the fact that i have had three vaccines to date. So anyone that says that Covid is no longer a risk is lying. It still is and it can still be pretty unpleasant even if you have been vaccinated. So please, pretty please, if you have not had a jab get one.

Anyway, back to today. In a sign that i am feeling better than i have been this morning i changed all the bedding and wiped down and disinfected the bedroom from top to bottom in preparation for Owner returning to sleep in here tonight with me. It has been horrible watching Her working so hard to take care of me and look after the flat when it should be me looking after Her and doing all the household chores etc. Hopefully normal service can now be resumed.

Owner has indicated that my performance review, postponed due to my illness, will now take place this weekend. i am really pleased by that and have made some suggestions to Her for ways in which Her control over me might also be further deepened which i hope She might consider. i also hope that She considers me now well enough to be caned or spanked etc again. This is also something that got put on hold due to my illness but i know i benefit from being beaten and it is also something that Owner Herself enjoys to do. It will be great for us both to re-start.

Anyway, that is about all from me for now. Take care all.

me this morning

Covid Strikes

Well, i suppose it had to happen eventually. Two days after Owner and i returned from Spain i tested positive for Covid. That was on Thursday last week and i have been in bed ever since feeling pretty lousy. It is surprising that even after 3 injections the virus still has the ability to knock you out quite the way it has done. Thankfully, Owner has remained negative.

i feel guilty as Owner has had to step in and take care of me, bringing me all my meals and generally nursing me when it really should be me looking after Her. i am ever so grateful to Her for having cared for me as lovingly as She has, i could not ask for better.

My being laid up has meant that the review She had planned of my behaviour and performance at home has had to go on hold. i hope that i might be well enough this weekend to receive Her instructions. i hope so as i know it is needed and the longer time passes the more i 'fret' about it.

In the meantime, there is nothing really to report as i have spent 90% of most days looking something like this

Day 1 = feeling lousy

Day 3 - feeling really lousy

Today - feeling a lot better but still dizzy when i stand up

i tested myself this morning again and still have two thick lines on the test kit so i am still pretty contagious but hopefully am now over the worst.  Now i just feel tired and dizzy when i stand up - so i am still lying down a lot!

On Thursday, the day i tested positive, we had a supermarket grocery delivery arrive that evening. i staggered downstairs with my mask on to collect the order and told the delivery man to stand well back as i had Covid. Despite that he very sweetly offered to carry our groceries inside for us. But i declined his kind offer and staggered up and down the stairs. i must, however, have been quite feverish at that point as it was only later that it dawned on my addled brain that the reason he might have given me a funny look was not because of the face mask that i was wearing but that apart from that all i had on was a hot pink t-shirt that barely covered my butt cheeks with the words 'passion fruit' written across my chest, my bra and a pair of crotchless Victoria's Secret knickers below which hung the silver bells that hang permanently suspended from my clit and which must have been both visible and audible! As i say, i must have been quite feverish to have answered the door dressed as such a wanton slut. Oh, wait...i.am.a.slut.

Hopefully, my next post will be a little more interesting but i just wanted to keep you updated in case you were wondering why i had not given any update about the review Owner had informed me about. It has been delayed but it will be coming.

An Important Intervention

Owner and i are going away for a few days to stay with Her family. However, last night Owner put me on notice that She wanted and expected things to change when we get back. She pointed out that i have, of late, been focusing more on things that i like to do whereas what i should of course be doing is meeting Her needs. i have also been allowing myself to get distracted when there are things at home i should be doing.

i felt suitably shame-faced and today write Her a full apology. In it i also proposed to Her some ideas about how i could change what i do with my 'free' time at home in order that it is used more productively. i will update on our return but Owner is right to have chastised me as She did and i am at fault for having allowed myself to lose my focus, which should be on what She wants and expects from me.

One example of how i get distracted, and how this impacts my performance, is that i had started to watch live Youtube video feeds of the of the renewed volcanic eruption in Iceland. Last night Owner had me write one hundred lines about my need to secure Her approval to watch this. The photo below is a sample of the lines i wrote

page 1 of 3 of the lines that i wrote last night

Today before dinner i was given a further reminder of Owner's authority when She caned my breasts and pierced nipples and then secured my legs legs so that they were spread apart and spanked the exposed dangly bits of my little caged clitty using Her heavy, solid-metal, ball-buster. She remarked to me afterwards that She could 'tell that I did not enjoy that' - i didn't, it hurt, but then that is precisely the point. i am grateful to Her for having hurt me.

i will update when i can with whatever changes Owner has in mind for me and can only repeat my apology to Her for having allowed myself to become self-centred when all my attention should be focused on Her, and what She wants.

It Shouldn't Happen to Poppet (again), Park Exploits and an Alternative Workout

We've all done it. Sent the list of sex toys you hoped to get to your family instead of your Owner at Xmas, emailed a very NSFW short-story you were working on to a someone of the same name at work instead of yourself, ended up in A&E wearing nothing but a pink fluffy dressing gown, explaining to a bemused Italian customs officer that yes, the lacy underwear and butt plugs/dildos were yours, hiding from a group of women in a hotel corridor after getting locked out of your room dressed in a cosplay maids outfit, a cleaning lady walking in to our holiday rental just as Owner was about to mount me on the coffee table. i could go on.

All the above and more have happened to me at some point and now i have another little 'incident' to add to the list. As i mentioned in my last blog post Owner bought me a lovely pair of silver bells that dangle from my clit on a little chain. At home these hang free, just below my clit, tinkling and jangling as i walk so that i sound like a walking Christmas tree. Anyway, after work i needed to go to the supermarket to stock up on supplies. i changed out of my skirt and blouse into a t-short and shorts and tucked my 'jingle bells' into my thong.

Everything was fine until i left the supermarket and suddenly felt something cold brush the tops of my thigh and the unmistakable sound of bells tingling. Yes, my bells had escaped! My shorts are, as you might expect, quite short, meaning that the little silver bells were not only audible but also just visible, poking out of the bottom of the left leg of my shorty shorts. How i laughed.

It was perhaps for the best that it happened just as i left the store rather than in-store. i debated with myself as to what the more discrete course of action might be, leave the bells to hang free or try to push them back up into my panties in the street. i chose the former option and walked home, jingling sluttily with each footstep. Owner laughed when i got back and told Her what had happened. She has also taken to singing:

Jingle bells, jingle bells, petty (one of Her nicknames for me) is an elf!

In other news. Today is the 16th of the month and so, as is traditional on this day, breakfast saw me rolling Owners' dice to determine what outdoor challenge i would need to complete? The answer was wearing high heels and a dress to our local park. You can see the results below. As you can tell the heatwave in London has finally broken (hooray!) - you can also tell that i was also wearing my 'bells' :)

i haven't worn this particular dress for a while and i thought it went well with my leather clog-style heels and white pop socks

a slutty pose in the park with legs spread and clit bells hanging loose

There were workmen up poles in our street that i passed on route to the park

giving good bench

forgetting to smile and being passed by ladies with pushchairs

grinning with my pop socks

after two months i finally need my brolly

It was good fun to complete the challenge. Whilst i was in the park two different dogs ran over to say hello and i got to throw a ball for one of them (it had it in its mouth and dropped it at my feet). The Owner came over to apologise for her dog bothering me (it wasn't). At one point i thought she might offer to help take a picture, she had seen me posing trying to take selfies - not straight forward as i have to try and prop the phone up somewhere, set the timer then scurry back and try to remember to smiles - but she didn't.

Challenge completed i sent some pictures to Owner for Her approval, She responded by telling me what an exhibitionist i am, which of course is very, very true.

Incidentally, when i got home i changed out of my dress and back into my work attire (blouse and short skirt) but my bells remained hanging free. Half an hour later an engineer arrived to install smart energy meters in our flat. i wonder if he noticed me jingling as he followed me upstairs whilst i pointed out where our meters and fuse boxes were? :)

My life is not all accessories and selfies though, Owner also likes to see me suffer too. Take last night for example. i had to do some exercises whilst my little caged clitty was clamped with pegs and tablecloth weights. The exercises in question were Russian twists, fifty of them. This is how i got on.

heavily clamped clit

let's (Russian) twist again

That has been my week so far. Owner and i are off to see Her family this weekend which we are both looking forward to. We are also both relieved that the heatwave has finally come to an end and we have at last had some rain, we had experienced over two months without rain in London and everywhere is looking very parched as you can tell from the desiccated grass in the park pictures.

Take care all.

Clit Accessorising and Bottom Reddening

Owner surprised me today. i was writing a story on my computer when She sidled over and blindfolded me. Satisfied i could not see She then told me to stand up, reached under my skirt and removed my knickers. i remained motionless as i felt Her fiddling with my clit. At the same time i could hear the soft sound of bells jangling. When finally She was done She removed my blindfold so that i could see for myself what She had been doing.

To my surprise, a little set of silver bells were hanging suspended beneath my clit, secured in place by a small chain that She had secured around its base. The chain is thin enough to mean i can my new clit ornament whether i am locked or unlocked. With my knickers on the bells make virtually no sound as they are held, immobile nesting in the fabric. However, with my knickers off, which is how Owner prefers me to be at home, the bells hang below my bits and make a soft, audible, jangling sound.

i love them. i have a bracelet around my left wrist with a small bell attached that i wear all the time (i sometimes wonder if colleagues wonder why i have a small bell hanging from my wrist). i am excited to now have five of them suspended below my little clit. It also means that Owner can now hear me moving around inside the flat. You can see my bells in situ below.

In other news, i mentioned in my blog post yesterday that i was going to be caned by Owner as a 'payment' for having been allowed to go to the park to sunbathe. Well, i am pleased to report that i did not just receive a caning. It was combined with an end of week disciplinary spanking with her leather paddle, She also used Her riding crop against my nipple for good measure too. My bottom was a little rosy afterwards.

24/7 Female-Led/Femdom Reality vs Fantasy

Earlier this week i was lying on the floor in our lounge, knees bent, legs spread inserting a freshly fellated dildo into my pussy under Owner's watchful gaze. She had me fuck myself at Her feet like that for ten minutes (She timed me) whilst She read stuff on Her phone. As i lay there, thrusting the fake cock deep inside of me, taking it out to fellate it some more and then pushing back inside again as She remained disinterestedly focused on Her phone, a thought occurred to me. The thought was this. How lucky, how incredibly lucky i am that this passes for a kind of normal thing to do in Owner's home. 

Sometimes i get clamped, quite often i am caned and spanked, there are days when i will get sent outside to complete a challenge, all my meals are served in a dog bowl (sometimes it is placed on the floor), i often get to drink Owners golden nectar, occasionally i get to lick out Her anus. i have daily tasks and chores and once in a blue moon i might be made to cum. All of these i will generally write about and set down in this blog.

However, are these, my everyday lived experience of life in Female-led/Femdon relationship? Well yes and no. Somethings are constant, have become everyday examples of my submission to Owner, of Her control over me. The chores i do, the decisions i no longer make and that She makes for me, the routines i follow and so on. But my day, our life together is made-up of many, many more moments that rarely ever get set down on a page. Many are mundane. Cuddling as we watch a TV series together. Sharing ideas about things we might do together, although of course She ultimately decides. Then there is work, much of which is still done from home. Brief catch-ups between zoom meetings and deadlines.

Then there are the small dramas. The elderly father (mine) who needs help re-housing, the family bust-ups and reconciliations, the home improvement works, the boiler breakdowns and water leaks. The periods of personal crisis and ill-health. The acute anxiety Owner went through that saw her unable to work for a while. The time my back left me unable to walk for a few months. The years of struggle Owner has had with hormonal migraines, then the menopause, a frozen shoulder and worsening migraines that at times leave Her barely able to function.

All of these are just as much a part of our life together, of our shared experiences as Dominant and submissive, Mistress and housewife, Owner and Her whore. i tend not to write much or ever about them. But they too define who we are, have shaped us on this wonderful journey. And yes, it is a journey. New things get added, some things we once did fall into disuse. We grow, we change.

The most wonderful thing though is that each day, each week, each month and each year feels as fresh and exciting and full of joy and anticipation and desire as it did when we first got together. In fact, even more so. Our path, our journey has worked for us, it might not work for others. 

Owner is not a leather-clad, whip wielding sadist who rules over me with a rod of iron. For one thing She is someone who feels most comfortable in tracksuit bottoms and a hoodie. The only one in Her household who ever wears stockings, skirts and heels is me. When She canes me or spanks me She's usually in trainers or slippers. She also loves me deeply and it took a while for Her to Herself become comfortable with the idea of beating or caning me. Over time, She has come to enjoy if greatly, far more than me!

She controls me in many different ways, and she just instituted a new requirement that, apart from when i need to leave for work or get provisions from the shops, i need to submit a formal request in writing to Her asking permission to be allowed out the house unaccompanied by Her. To this end She asked me to create a form (She will often get me to come up with suggestions for Her), which i did and which was first used today when i sought permission to go and sunbathe in the park in the sun. i have copied the form below in case anyone is interested. To me it is a natural progression of the existing control She exerts over my life.

me in the park wearing my bunny-ear sunhat that Owner required i took after submitting my form to Her for approval to go unaccompanied

And the new blank form that i must fill in and submit to Her and get approved before i can go out the flat unaccompanied, unless for work or to go shopping for provisions.

And, yes. Tonight She will beat me and then cane me too as 'payment' for having been allowed to sunbathe at lunchtime. But then later, when chores etc have been done we will cuddle and watch TV and laugh and joke and chat and do all the things other couples do. And that is just as much a part of the reality of our relationship together as any of the other things i post on here.

No Pain No Gain

Well, after a lovely weekend which, amongst other things, saw Owner and i unexpectedly spending Saturday afternoon ensconced in a local bar downing rum and cokes (for Her) and cider (for me), the week itself started somewhat painfully. Monday saw me required to wear nipple clamps after work for a full hour. The first thirty minutes of wear were fine and i was able to merrily go about my chores. The last five minutes were very painful but removing them after the hour was up was the most painful part.

i am not a pain slut but have learnt to tolerate and process pain and discomfort better than i once did. Owner for Her part often describes me as being 'fluffy' and has, for many years now, incorporated pain and discomfort into my training and development. Clamping and hanging weights from my nipples has also, again over time, helped make them a bit bigger and more sensitive (getting them pierced helped with that too) and Owner will sometimes compliment me on the size of my nipples, which is always lovely to hear. i'd love to have super-elongated ones but that, as they say, is another story.

But anyway, back to Monday and this is how my nipples spent an hour after work

Nipples clamped

i was set a completely different task by Owner on Wednesday, namely to spend time in work meetings (via zoom) naked from the waist down. Cometh the hour cometh the slut, as they say

hello caged clitty

Meanwhile, the day before saw me referred as a 'lady' by a stranger. We are having work done on our building which has meant that it got covered in scaffolding on Tuesday. The woman who was overseeing the scaffolders was talking to me and our downstairs neighbour. i was dressed as i always am when working from home in a blouse, skirt, stockings and bra with my make-up on. She then referred to me as 'the lady from the flat upstairs' when she was giving an instruction to one of the scaffolders - which was an unexpected surprise.

Fast forward to today (Friday) and i was to be found, once again, sunbathing over my lunch break in our local park 

me on my lunch break in the park

On seeing me about to head out Owner asked where my note was requesting permission to go outside? Now this is not something that has ever been required but on thinking about it i think it could be a good idea and another potential way in which She could extend Her control over me i.e.by me having to secure approval from Her to leave the house (apart from for work i guess). i hope it is something She considers implementing as it would help to reinforce my status as Her housewife (with an emphasis on the 'house' bit).

And now back to pain. My week started with my nipples being tortured and that is also how it ended. But it was not just my nipples that suffered, so too did my 'labia' bits and my bottom. The cause? i was caned hard and repeatedly on my backside whilst at the same time my 'labia' had 20 mini-clothes pegs attached to then and my nipples were clamped. It was a painful but welcome way to end the week

clamped and ready to be caned

freshly caned bottom and thighs

Owners' instrument of choice parked between my cheeks